MMM 146: I ain’t got time fo no poatin’ muthafargah

No text, no time. Only pitchers. Er, catchers. I hope.

Busy pants.

Glute selfie.
I used to be able to do this back when I was 10.
Next year at this time, I’ll be able to do this.
Not gonna lie, this might be a dude.
Those pockets hardly seem functional.
Pretty smile.
From the look of dat bootay, I suspect a squat may have happened here.
And that’s a poat, folks. I got a long, weird day ahead of me.
You don’t know it yet, but so do you.


  1. G’morning, 44 degrees.and clear. Coffee’s hot and good!

  2. Wow, there’s a lot of political ads out. Is there an election coming up?

  3. I will be any amount of money that you can’t do picture #4.

  4. On topic, re: fitness:

    Oh, you’re not a runner?

  5. I have a huge fitness rant brewing.


  7. I will be any amount of money that you can’t do picture #4.

    By this time, next year.

  8. >> Not gonna lie, this might be a dude.


    Ok. ok leon.

  9. I have a huge fitness rant brewing.

    Weird name for a coffee.

  10. Oh, you’d better be excited, J’ames.

    yesterday, some kids mocked me as I was out running. It’s not the first time it’s happened. And it got me thinking about the hate people have for people who work out. I’m just out, enjoying the beautiful fall day, not hurting anyone …

    I’ve had cars swerve toward me, honk to scare the shit out of me, evil looking women giving me the death stare as they pull out when I have the right of way.

    It reminded me of this piece in the WSJ from last year where the author basically said runners run in order to be seen running.

    Give me a fucking break. Yea, I run outside so people can be assholes toward me.

  11. Carry a Beretta Jetfire and bust a cap on their ass.

  12. I only swerve at the ones that are doing it to draw attention to themselves. You know, the ones with the bright fluorescent orange or green outfits, with bright headband, running at the speed of a slow walk with their chest pumped out.

  13. on the busiest streets.

  14. By this time next year.

  15. I wear bright colors if I’m running in dark weather/near night. I even have a coat with lights on it. but that’s because I don’t want to be run over, not because I want people to notice me.

    I mean, I DO WANT THEM TO NOTICE ME. And not hit me.

  16. I run outside because I usually enjoy the scenery. Yesterday, I had to stop and take a few pictures midway because it was glorious.

    I tried to post one here, but it wouldn’t load for some reason.

  17. I almost got hit by two cars on Saturday. Girl pulled out of a parking lot, looking at her phone. I took one step into the street to avoid death and another car starting honking and then gave me an evil look.

    I should have just gotten hit, I guess.

    I think I’m done running on the city. It’s just too dangerous. People don’t look for pedestrians. I’m guilty of it too.

  18. gotta find a park, MJ.

  19. Yep, city is dangerous. I run country roads, mostly dirt. When I run in town for variety, I try to stick to the long non-intersection routes. We have a linear trail that meanders through town. The crosswalks have a LOT of warning for drivers.

  20. Why not 3 cars?

  21. This is what they believe, and what you have to argue with:

    Washington Times: Clinton: ‘Don’t let anybody tell you it’s corporations and businesses that create jobs’

    Well, who is it then?

  22. Yea, she accidentally let her true feelings slip out. It’s her “You’re going to have to give some of that back” of this election cycle.

  23. Jobs are created when Big Gov’t screws the Unions. It gets left as a tip on the nightstand or taped to the mirror.

  24. Broken windows create jobs, just ask the Green Energy Lobby.

  25. Is anybody else’s browser refusing to open J’ays link?

  26. We’ve handed over Camp Leatherneck to the “Afghan authorities”. Will it be in Taliban hands before or after Christmas?

  27. I tried to fix it, but there’s no URL in it.

  28. This is pretty interesting. I remember this blowing up back when I started college. I had a Calc prof who was a Cherokee, he got a kick out of there being too few of his people to get a good population statistic.

  29. Memphis. Going to see Elvis.

  30. Elvis is alive.

  31. Memphis. Going to see Elvis.

    In blue suede shoes?

  32. Memphis. Going to see Elvis.

    be sure to check out the high-tech media equipment in his home theater.

  33. Graceland

  34. Random black guy just drove up my driveway with his window open looking at the house, then did a loop and left after seeing me in the window. Was he:

    1) Just turning around by driving up around my loop.
    2) Looking for a house to burglarize on a weekday.

    Sumpter Twp is about 95% white, in case that effects your answer.

  35. Load the spare magazines and carry your phone

  36. su casa es mi casa, gringo.

  37. Phone’s always handy, my office contains the arsenal, but locked up.

    No good reason to keep it all locked up, I suppose.

  38. Sumpter doesn’t appear to have a recent string of burglaries, but I’ll check again later this week.

    If any new ones appear near me, I’ll call the PD and describe the guy and his car as best I can.

  39. Totes rayciss!!!!

  40. Get a game camera to mount on a tree near your driveway (if you haven’t cut them all down yet).


    I was going to get a game camera anyhow. We apparently had like 8 deer in the driveway at 6am today.

    I also really need to get a blind and, like, a permit.

    Totes rayciss!!!!

    I profiled him, it’s true. He was also male, and thus a rapist. Maybe even a rapist-rapist.

  42. Ladies and gentlepersons, I have had a vision. I have seen the future.

    The Democrat ticket for the 2016 Presidential election will be Hillary Clinton and Elizabeth Warren.

    Just imagine how difficult it’s going to be to campaign against TWO women vying for the highest offices in our land! Who could possibly debate them without being accused of hating and/or fearing powerful women?

    It will be the War on Women™ times 1 gajillion!

  43. The only other possibility is that he was the asphalt-sealing contractor coming out to estimate for my neighbor. He didn’t really have that look about him, but that might explain the excuse to tour my driveway — hoping to sell me some asphalt.

  44. I’d give that possibility a 0.05% chance.

  45. You probably don’t need a permit to defend yourself from a deer attack.

  46. Probably not, but I may as well get one in case the deer’s family wants to hash it out in court.

    I also need a base permit for rabbits on my own property now (!), because shut up.

  47. Annual enrollment starts soon.

    I think I’ll just lie about my diet this year. Tired of paying extra because their “science” sucks balls.

  48. You probably don’t need a permit to defend yourself from a deer attack.


  49. Happy Birthday, Michael!

    Mundane, good to see you – how is your son doing?

  50. Jeez wiser, that doesn’t even look real.


  52. Good ‘morrow all.
    Heh. Nice ad for small caliber bear protection, Scott. I larfed. I shared.
    Interesting article Leon.

  53. Nice writeup on your inlaws, chumpo!

  54. Jeez wiser, that doesn’t even look real.

    You must have a lo-res monitor.

  55. Thanks Jay. DiT has a good style. I was really honored that he offered to send the old guy out like that. All you all are shiny lights.

    Look out!! Deers Riding Bears!!!!

    *Shoot Jay in knee and briskly walks down trail*

  56. You’ll have to have good aim. Stick arms and legs, yannow.

  57. If Ernest Hemingway were alive, we wouldn’t have all these fucking deer

  58. One of the nice things about being Mech infantry was the smallest caliber I thought useful for bear and deer was 25mm.

  59. Nice writeup on your inlaws, chumpo!

    I read that as “Nice wiretap on your inlaws, chumpo!”.

    That’s just what we need around here is an undercover NSA agent.

  60. Hey X, See you when at Shakespere’s? 7-9th I’ve got the time.

  61. I wiretapped your mom.

  62. Thats a posterior spinal tap, HotSpurts.

  63. Sounds like a plan, Mr. Chumpo. I was hurt that you couldn’t make TITS, so Shakes it is!

  64. Me too. We’ll fix it.

  65. Speaking of TITS, where the eff is Cyn?

  66. She was here last night, Hots.

  67. My privilege Chumpo. Sounds like he was a great man.

  68. Speaking of TITS, where the eff is your mom?

  69. Speaking of TITS, where’s the tits?

    Oh… up there.

    Right, I almost forgot.


  70. Yes and officially, DeeT thank you for putting together such a sincere effort for my dear friend. He would have very much appreciated the spirit in which you wrote about him. Over the years I have followed your posts at the HQ and can say that there is a sentimental value in the subjects that you choose to write about that really enhances the whole Moronosphere.

    Well done, friend and thanks.

  71. Not gonna lie, this might be a dude.

    I think we have leon’s epitaph right there.

  72. Update on son:
    He is enrolled on the Juvenile transplant list, but isn’t a candidate for transplant until he hits 20% of function in his kidney. Found out he has type AB blood which is problematic in that only about 2% of the population has that blood type. He can be cross-matched with any organ that meets the other genetic markers but it is not the best solution. Transplant would be done at Cedars-Sinai in Los Angeles, which is heavy on the suck.

    So I am stockpiling sick days from now until needed.

  73. Aww shoot thanks Chumpo.

    And you’re very welcome.

  74. Longbows.

  75. Was that Robert Hamburger guy Chumpo’s FiL or something?

  76. Hang in there Mundy.

  77. GFiL, Sean.

  78. Hey Jimbro, NJ CDC Nurse headed your way. *Scratches Maine off bug out destination list*

  79. Ah, very cool.

  80. Prayers, Mundo.

  81. That twat needs to STFU. Of anyone, she should understand the need for a quarantine. The area she’s heading for is way up north in Ft. Kent. People up there speak with a French Canadian accent. The hospital is tiny and if she did get sick they’d be overwhelmed. Hell, we’d be overwhelmed here.

    One theory I heard was she was a CDC/Dem operative to argue against state quarantines. Mission accomplished.

  82. Longbows

  83. I think her CDC connections were scrubbed, but not before screen captured. She’s like Eboler Doc and I want my soup NBC Snyderman. No wonder Amber thought she could fly to Cleveland and lab tech thought a cruise was the best thing to do. Top Men.

  84. We have 5 days to find a nursing home for my FiL. We’ve narrowed it down to 10.

  85. A buddy and I tied one on this weekend. When it was time for me to crash I went to take a leak. D barged into the bathroom, whipped out his junk, and started peeing beside me.

    Me: DUDE! What the fuck?!

    D: Hey, man. ‘Sup? *eyes roll up in his head*

    Now I’m conflicted. Should I allow that incident to wither in the beer-addled fog of his memory, or keep it chambered for the first opportunity of public shaming?

  86. A buddy of mine from college was a longbow flight instructor. He just retired a couple of years ago.

  87. Jew, I vote for public shaming. There are rules!

  88. If it’s a rule, I guess I don’t have a choice.

  89. There’s apparently a new poat.


  91. for leon only

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