This is what I stepped on, only smaller. No, this is not the exact one.
October 11, 2014
Categories: asshole, Sandra Fluke, shut your whore mouth . . Author: Cyn, Widgets Fixerer
Scorpions look like lobster. Rub some butter on it.
I’m surprised that the hospital didn’t offer me that. I WANT MY MONEY BACK.
Percocet has officially worn off, but the ibuprofen and zofran I tossed in should be kicking in aaaaaany minute now. Maybe some benadryl might be good to add. With a shot of vodka.
Where’d he get you, foot or ankle? Your local ER’s must have a scorpion sting protocol. Up here they’d be on the phone pronto.
They do, pain meds watch and wait. Some people have a very bad reaction so they monitor for 4 hours. I got lucky so I didn’t need the anti venom.
Bottom of the foot ;I stepped right on him in the middle of the kitchen floor.
Holy Crap, Cyn!
Here I was dozing on the couch and you stepped on a freaking scorpion! He was in the house, I presume? They just mosey in and make themselves comfortable? Or were you letting the dog out in your bare feet?
Feel better quickly please!
I always walked in bare feet. Or I used to.
The numbness in my lips is really bizarre.
I’m going to try to get some sleep but I think I’m gonna need that percocet soon.
Is the numbness of your lips in anyway related to the sting? Or is that from some other bizarre practice you’re willing to admit to?
Ha ha, no they say it’s related as the venom moves thru the body.
Can’t even lay a sheet on my leg; going for the better meds.
NOPE. NOPE NOPE NOPE.
I hope you recover soon Cyn. Sheesh that sounds terrible. Is there anybody around this morning to take you in, if you have a reaction?
In other news, Dorkus has decided that we rise at 6:15 am every day now.
Reason #2 I will not live in that part of the country.
Scorpions. Yes, they rock you like a hurricane, but they also sting you if you step on their face.
Maybe scorpion venom is a Traditional Chinese Medicine cure for kidney stones.
Holy shit….cardamom seeds work on both!
Jimbro, have you seen the spiral slicers that turn zucchini into long curly pasta threads? I need one of those. Lord knows I don’t have enough hard-to-clean gadgets around here.
Last time I just used a vegetable peeler to make long strips and dried them out for a while. Then it’s pretty much like making linguini. But not long and curly. The ability to make long curly zucchini pasta would add a great deal of excitement and happiness to my life, unlike all my other gadgets that failed to produce the joy that they promised me.
This time, it’s gonna be different.
Off to check on camp. I worked too late to go on my road trip and the neighbor told us the garage door was open. Not much in there but an old crappy grill and some plastic kayaks but still worth investigating.
I hope you get some pain relief and sleep Cyn!
I haven’t Laura. My only experience with turning vegetables into “pasta” was spaghetti squash which was okay but didn’t inspire me to repeat it more than a few times.
Welp I was going to turn but I decided to step on a muthafuckin scorpion instead.
*looks out at frost covered landscape*
*writes “no scorpions” on list of “reasons I live where I do”*
Did you know that the Berlin Philharmonic had hosted these guys? I didn’t.
Ok, you fellas and ladies have a nice day. Obamerjerb!
How to harvest wild thistle. This has me all kinds of curious. I usually yank these and toss them in the weed pile. Next time I find one I’m going to let it grow a while.
Also, the host of that channel is really, really hot.
you shouldn’t let your pets wander around the house like that, cyn.
*looks out at frost covered landscape*
*writes “no scorpions” on list of “reasons I live where I do”*.
. I usually yank these and toss them in the weed pile. Next time I find one I’m going to let it grow a while.
reminds me of the time I decided I liked queen ann’s lace and left a few in my garden.
I let queen anne’s lace grow until it’s about waist high and then give it to the chickens.
Yea, but don’t let it grow in your flower/perennial garden. Unless you just want a garden of queen ann’s lace.
In other news, my ducks are laying eggs.
And Lapper HS won another game last night – 44 to 7. There were three media outlets there, as it was teh “game of the week” for the entire state.
We played Midland (the Chemists – nice name, huh? Dow is in Midland and basically made the town.)
Actually, Dow has given a TON of money to the town for it’s parks, schools and sports programs. Their soccer fields are awesome, etc.
Fixed yer eye-talics, Carin.
Oh, no, I’d pull either one in the garden, I meant I’d leave them if I found them out in the yard.
That dehumidifier is really pulling a TON of water out of the air. It’s amazing how fast it fills up.
It’s a good little machine. If you have a basement drain you can run a line of tubing from it (supposedly, I never bothered to figure that out).
Mrs. Pendejo got stung by a Scorp on the shoulder a couple of years ago. It was hiding in the towel she was drying off with fresh out of the shower. She claimed it was painful.
Cyn, I hope you feel better and don’t need the anti-venom.
BLAM BLAM BLAM
Why do duck hunters get up so freaking early?
At 6 AM, I thought someone was trying to kick the door in.
No scorpions though.
The theme of this post, it looks familiar to me
Because the ducks take flight not long after sunrise, and you can’t shoot them on the ground.
Dead ducks don’t tell.
For the record, I’m in favor of permitting canada geese to be hunted by any lethal means whatsoever.
False alarm at camp. Everything was there, neighbor locked the garage door. I grabbed a couple of books I’ve been meaning to read from the night stand there. That way I can ignore them here and now versus up there next summer.
Canadian oil companies to Obama: “Screw you”
Hopefully this actually happens.
Part of Putin’s birthday celebration:
Maybe Phat can read the Russian at this site:
I’ve been nailed by our little arachnid friends about four times
Always a joy
Once I walked into my infant daughters room to kiss her goodnight
Stepped ob the biggest alecron in West Texas.
First time my little angel ever heard me say “fuckety fuck fuck!”
My wife is a local, so she killed the bastard with expert skill and my size 13 shoe while I was in the bathroom pulling a huge stinger out of my foot.
Living up in Mt Franklin meant killing two dozen every year
I got that numbness in the lips once too
You’ll be fine desert girl
I read that Leon and it made me happy. Years to go of course but it’s a good time to be alive in terms of potential cures. Like Instapundit always says “Faster please”.
There’s real money to be made in the “fuck the FDA” cruise line where you go out to sea and get the stuff that’s not approved or can’t be approved. I’d be utterly shocked if this isn’t already a business model for the very rich and well-connected.
Somewhere, someone is offering the myostatin inhibition virus for $1M, and getting it. Has to be.
And I’d be similarly shocked if the Chinese aren’t already injecting it into their Olympians.
I feel like I’ve seen a movie where some rich old guy is buying weird treatments to keep himself alive. Probably more than one movie…it’s a common plot device. Probably confusing some comics I’ve read with the same story too.
I feel like I’ve seen a movie where some rich old guy is buying Anna Nicole Smith to keep himself alive.
There’s a penis pump joke in there somewhere, just can’t formulate it.
*throws mare’s dirty panties at radio.
Wiser radio show
That wasn’t Anna Nicole Smith it was your mom, and the guy wasn’t rich.
This is getting ridiculous.
*starts packing to move*
Thank you for the linky.
Well, I hope you killed the little fucker.
He will die eventually, ‘Spur: Mr Cyn used tongs to put him in a baggie and then we put inside a jar to take to the ER, just in case they needed to see which kind of scorpion tagged me (for anti-venom purposes). When they didn’t need it, he put it in a trash can just outside the ER.
I think Foley would be a good Governor, he’s just a horrible politician.
People who refer to others as “My Friend” are not trustworthy to me. Thanks for ruining that John McCain.
I don’t trust McCain.
Said everyone, ever.
A lot of middle eastern people use “my friend”, it creeps me out.
Man oh man… I can definitely see why people lurves them some percocet.
*parade waves with a big grin*
Take one before bed.
Best sleep ever.
And bad mistakes, I’ve made a few. . .
This made me laugh and laugh and laugh…..
Stem cells again, huh? Let me guess, adult stem cells, not the embryonic, right?
TCU-Baylor game is pretty good.
Adult stem cells, Jay. Nature continues to obstinately insist on them.
From the article it looks like they can do it with both.
I don’t know if any of you cockgobblers have noticed, but EoJ has started blogging again, including video.
Greetings, people who didn’t get to watch cartoons this morning.
Anyone want to watch baseball with me? I have popcorn, and Captain Morgan’s.
Wow, the Royals jump ahead in the 9th. They just keep winning.
Happy Birthday, Michael!
WTF? The game is on, but the analysts are on the screen with the game? I do NOT like this.
Shut up analysts, I want the game.
I’m trying to be mad at The Royals for beating prison raping my Halos, but they’re just a damn good team. They deserve the success.
Speaking of teams I root for being brutally assaulted (emphasis on the ass) Cal is losing to Washington 28-0.
Did I trade Babe Ruth to the Yankees in a past life or something?
For your listening pleasure while you read Jimbro’s link:
So get this…I was looking for things for GND and I to do this weekend and it appears that San Fermin is playing on Friday.
Life is good.
Gin and tonics tonight, all is good
With Hendrick’s gin or course
I hope the show is cool, MJ. I still kind of like “Sonsick” in spite of myself.
Trimmed the goat
Not a euphemism. Did I have this in Tempe I don’t remember?
Some interesting observations on “Operation Unnamed Effort”, or as I call it “Operation Shock and Uh” in Iraq and Syria.
It’s a “Light Show”, much ado about nothing.
The JEF can’t even do LBJ worth a shit…
I hope it’s not too cool. MJ is in the south, and he’ll freeze.
How is this POS poat still up? You People suck*!!1
*but I still love you
Did anybody have to remind anybody else that the white zone is for the immediate loading and unloading of passengers only today?
How is The Scorpion Queen™ tonight?
Much better, Jay, much much better.
The numbness now seems mostly confined to my foot, as opposed to the knee-downward from earlier today; and my lips seemed to have stopped tingling too. I cannot wait for my baby tootsie to stop feel like it’s been amputated.
I was considering posting “Rock You Like A Hurricane” as a dedication to Cyn, but I thought that might be mean and/or somebody else probably already thought of it.
Yeah, how is the foots, toots.
I posted it early this morn while I was still in the ER, Sean. It was… obligatory.
I have to walk very gingerly to make sure I’m placing my weight correctly on the foot, and also that I don’t bump it into or on anything (especially the cabinets in the kitchen).
It’s a very strange sensation to not feel the foot, but if I bump it, the shooting pain that results a fraction of a second later is absolutely Exquisite.
Seriously, if I was a pain freak, this would be some sort of nirvana. Quite bizarre.
And I have no appetite. But maybe that’s the percocet.
I think I have some percocet in the freezer.
I really hope you feel better, soon,
My mysterious “Uncle Ray” once was stung in the face by a scorpion in Florida when toweling his face after a shower.
He was mysterious because he would be gone for long periods of time and then show-up at Thanksgiving with radiation sickness and hair and teeth falling-out and when asked;”What have you been up to?” would answer: “Oh, nothing special.
He died without leaving a diary. I would really like to know what the hell he was doing. He gave one clue in that something that went to the moon was his, and it cost him. None of us have a clue. He told no one anything. He was the perfect spook…
Does that keep them fresher longer?? That’s brilliant.
I have to walk very gingerly
Without a soul?
A sting on the face???? FFFFFFUUUUUUUU
How does someone even survive that? Dang.
Well… I do have a hint of natural red in my hair, Sean…
*looks for better hiding place for pharmaceuticals*
Nobody goes there.
Does anyone else click on Buffalone’s name just to zone out to the gif?
Do any of you actually read Wreatchards blog?
I only got a script of 10 of the percocets. Booooo!
So, 4:30 am, I hop in the car to the 24-hour Walgreen’s to fill my script. I hand over the paper and my credit card, but the pharmacist want to give it back. “Oh no, you hold it as I will NOT be leaving here without that, thank you scorpion sting.” He smiled and nodded and gave me an empathetic look of pain.
He’s back about six minutes later (THANK YOU LAWDY REEGIS) with my script and my card and wishing me to “Be Well” and a good weekend – and to watch where I walked. LOL
Oh the stories that dude could probably tell…
Um, Crispy, I think your uncle was one of the henchmen from Moonraker.
You should try to save some, for emergencies.
I usually try to do that. I still have some muscle relaxers from my calf episode from a few months ago.
Oh, and the ER gave me a prescription for the melty-tab under the tongue zofran that I’ll definitely get filled (I was a bit nauseous by the time I hit the hospital last night). I can see these coming in handy maybe around flu time.
If you save some for “emergencies” and then decide to maybe make some quick cash, ask the guy who’s buying them if he’s a cop. Ask three times. If he says no all three times, they can’t arrest you.
Ah yes, the Beetlejuice strategy. That’ll work out nicely.
HA! You should compile these in a book, Sean.
What, and get sued by the publishers of High Times? No thank you.
J’ames, what’d you think of the “Balk”?
Textbook balk, saw it right away. Can’t believe it wasn’t called.
Meh; they’re too stoned to exert the energy to sue. I guarantee it.
* advertises percocet on craigslist *
J’ames, I don’t even like the Cards and I was pissed. Textbook baseball.
One helluva game by Bumgarner.
I sometimes wonder. Uncle Ray was a pretty strange dude.
I wish he would have left a book, letters, something.
He was involved in spooky shit, but died without letting us know…
One of my mild mannered cousins did a lot of defense work. He never says anything either.
ChrisP, I went to school with a lot of Agency kids. There were a couple of dads that scared even the Agency kids. One was a Polish-American and the other was Czech. Another one of my Agency friends had his dad “outed” by google. It was taken down immediately, but a few friends were able to save his pic and the story.
What does the sound a chicken makes have to do with baseball?
Chicken says “Bawk” Ask Car in.
I H8 the Gigantes more than the Cards. AUGH!!!!
Hey Cyn, any plans to attend the AZ State Fair?
Haha, I’m using Gigantes from now on.
The Cards could win the Stanley Cup.
Late: Man oh man… I can definitely see why people lurves them some percocet.
Envious. It messes me up cognitively, but doesn’t give any pleasurable feelings or effects. Boooo!
How are you feeling tonight?
No, the Rams could win the Stanley Cup.
Nope, no State Fair for us, Oso; they’ve always tried very hard to market it as a ‘family event’, but it’s in a shit part of town and the vatos don’t take kindly to the outside (read “white”) visitors. Hell, one of the fights down there the other night, 35 arrests and all but two were minors, even made a Drudge linky. Nopey nope.
So very much better, Lips, thank you for axing :)
I should be just about perfect by tomorrow, fingers crossed.
I’m meh with the Percocet. Love me some morphine drip. Dan is an ass about me and my painkillers.
Cyn, will you be ready for some football?
it’s in a shit part of town and the vatos don’t take kindly to the outside (read “white”) visitors.
They probably just want you to Check Your Privilege.
Cyn, your State Fair was trending on FB. Riots. Arrests. I was trying to get you to be all rayciss, so I could be all Latina and shit. LOL
*waves at Osita*
Ahhh, yes, the morphine drip! Now there’s something that has “the effect”. Unfortunately it also comes with “the vomit effect”. Buzz kill.
Sunday Football, oh yeah; I’ll have this on while working tomorrow. At least I hope I can work tomorrow. That was on my agenda for today. *fumes*
I was offered ASU tix to the Stanford game this weekend… considering it.
Do Latinas have that head wag thing? Don’t think you have the clap with every word thing.
Lippy!!!! Usually it is the second drip that gives me the vomit effect, First drip…nirvana.
No shit, huh.
And God forbid any of us happen to be wearing the “wrong colors” on the wrong day. Zoiks!
Cyn, does your current job have a “Scorpion” exception for working at home?
My rayciss rant for today: Stop sending non-English speakers to Sam’s for your restaurant!!! Fucker brings me a empty container from TaLin and expects me to have an equivalent item at a non-restaurant demographic Club. Pho you!
An empty container. HS/
No, it doesn’t, but…
Had I have done this in my office during work hours… HELOOOOOOO WORK COMP CLAIM!!
C’est la vie; I’ll game the system next time.
Who am I kidding; I’ll forget.
We don’t want a next time!!!
Freaky story. I was spotting in furniture. Two associates were loading a sofa and another associate was helping. A display chair was pulled back under the steel. There was no one near it. It suddenly moved 3 feet all on its own. Adjacent aisle was blocked off and there was no one there. We laughed. Usually the Cold Zone and the freaky stuff is in the center of the Club.
Car in!!!! I had a hair in my food and now I’m starving!!! They credited my acct though. Still…starving.
how was the fake double, car in?
It was only 11:30 am until 12:10 am.
So yes. Fake double.
Hair in food, we take it off your bill. Or remake. free dessert. Shit happens.
I know. Still starving. Carryout, so no free dessert.
You COULD just eat that shit.
Why take it off the bill? they weren’t charged for the hair, it was free!
I have attractive friends with UGLY kids, and I have Meh friends with attractive kids. What is up with that?
I’ll just have food aversion and never eat there again.
I wouldn’t eat at Los Cockroaches either.
Have you tried Los Grasshopper yet?
Not the real name. Just what we call it. Used to be a dive with great food. Owner died. Bought by local competitor. No menu change, but quality change.
No Los Hoppers!!!!
Sadie’s used to be a hot plate in a store front. In the 60s. Moved to a bowling alley. Was OK. Currently has multiple locations. Hasn’t been good since it left the bowling alley. My friends always post from there. We’re getting an influx of MEXICAN restaurants now. Whine.
Yay! Owning the comments.
Irish balloon crew was at Twisters last week. Counter server was answering questions on all the menu items. I was glad I ordered before them. It was cute to hear them ask about the different burrito options. Carne Adovada? Chile? Which is hotter? Green or Red?
Bunch of Brazilians in the Club today. Can’t even speak Spanish. LAURAW!!!!!
Last day of Balloon Fiesta is tomorrow. Yay!
hmm, break the streak?
AUGH!!!! Go to bed, Midwest Conference!~
Wow, Arizona is really lucky.
Work in 5 hours. G’night.
We were laughing about my AZ nephew and tonight’s game. Bitch ex SiL just posted pics from the game. I guess my nephew will be graduating in 3 years instead of 4 and he’s planning on Georgetown Law.
Ricoh and Carlos are planning on ambushing Dan. I know the plan. Dan kind of deserves the prank.
A copier is planning to ambush Dan?
Read about your derp in some local page
Didn’t mention your name, didn’t mention your name
Sweet Georgia breezes, safe, cool and warm
I headed up north, you headed north
*WALKS AROUND BANGING WOODEN SPOON TO BIG EMPTY POT*
RISE AND SHINE ERRYBODY!! UP AND AT ‘EM! MY DOG HAS TO WAKE ME UP AT 6:15 AND YOU KNOW HOW MISERY LOVES COMPANY!!
I am going to bake sourdough bread rolls and bring them to work.
Started the sponge Friday night.
Gotdam you lazy sumbitches, all abed still. So angry I could-
*grabs spatula and calls the dog*
I haven’t had real bread in weeks and these are probably the best rolls I have ever made. Naturally I did not measure and wrote nothing down.
You’re up!! I was so alone.
What’re they made of, qualitatively if not quantitatively?
I’m frittering about.
I was starting laundry and putting away clothes. Finally get to sit down with some coffee.
I’ve been up since about 7:45.
I’ve been up since about them too. Frittering.
I was up at 0530, tending to stuff. Dog out, woodstove rekindled, dishes done, trash hauled to the dump and coffee drank. Just caught up on comments. Crockpot set up soon.
Good morning, cool kids.
I will try to go without percocet; I can almost feel my baby toe today.
Paula took the boys to Salem, MA for the weekend. The whole town is set up as a month long celebration of Halloween. They got to tour the House of The Seven Gables and walk through a few haunted houses among other things. I was going to join them but work interfered. I’m the dog sitter this weekend. Star is 99% Paula’s dog and merely tolerates my existence. It’s been fun wrassling her outdoors for doing her business.
Did you remember to shake your cowboy boots out this morning Cyn?
Heh, no kidding. I now have a pair of flip flops on my feet and I don’t think I’ve taken them off all weekend.
I should set out some meat to thaw for dinner now or I’m going to be sad later.
Good morning! I’m awake, but barely mobile at this point.
I have to blow leaves today, and eventually go shopping for a printer. Do they still make any that use ink cheaper than platinum ingots?
*throws flip flops in trash while Cyn is distracted, substitutes these*
So… we seem to have our first Ebola infection in the US. One of the health care workers who took care of Duncan on his second visit.
Fukksized arrogance is going to make this a mess.
We’ve been using much less printer ink since Paula graduated. I was buying cartridges at Sam’s every few months and they were not cheap. Now we’re at the print a sports schedule, travel directions or recipe every now and then stage.
*dusts off triple x beaver cowgirl hat and Daisy Duke’s*
What ails you Alex? Illness, DOMS or sloth?
>>>triple x beaver cowgirl
Mr Fukksized Arrogance needs a break today from Presidenting fundraising, so … I’m thinking 18 holes of golf?
I’m worried that all the people I’m waiting on for stuff tomorrow will be off for Columbus Day, because government employees, yo.
We should have a new post. I’ll get right on that.
I saw Fukksized Arrogance open for Metallica in ’89 at the Veteran’s Memorial Colosseum.
Jimbro, sloth. I will probably go to the gym here in a few minutes and then come home to work on calc homework.
‘Bout time you earned your keep.
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Uhhhhhhha, I guess I’m gay for Melania.
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