The Gift



Update [Leon’s cute doggeh]

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198 Comments

  1. Yet another masterpiece.

    I am a genius.

  2. SUNDAY, OCT. 05
    GAME TIME/SCORE TV
    Chicago at Carolina 1:00 pm FOX
    Buffalo at Detroit 1:00 pm FOX
    Houston at Dallas 1:00 pm CBS
    Baltimore at Indianapolis 1:00 pm CBS
    St. Louis at Philadelphia 1:00 pm FOX
    Cleveland at Tennessee 1:00 pm CBS
    Pittsburgh at Jacksonville 1:00 pm CBS
    Tampa Bay at New Orleans 1:00 pm FOX
    Atlanta at N.Y. Giants 1:00 pm FOX
    Arizona at Denver 4:05 pm FOX
    N.Y. Jets at San Diego 4:25 pm CBS
    Kansas City at San Francisco 4:25 pm CBS
    Cincinnati at New England 8:30 pm NBC

  3. Carry over from last poat

    Comment by Jimbro on October 5, 2014 10:52 am

    Dear Lord, this is not a joke or spoof product:

    https://scroguard.com/

    Logical next step is full body latex suits.

  4. >>>Yet another masterpiece.

    I am a genius.

    Awards Cyn 2 Scroguards

  5. Ha – oh dear lawdy.

    But um there’s already fully body latex suits. Right, Xbrad??

  6. *puts Scroguards on awards shelf… hides them behind the Nobel coins… waaaaay behind*

  7. You’ll get it, Scott.

  8. You don’t understand their level of stupidity.

    I’ll get it, it just might be at Lowes.

  9. I brought back either a cold, enterovirus D68 or the early stage of Ebola from Michigan.

  10. You should have used a Scroguard.

  11. You should have used a Scroguard.

    Need to check with my Imam to see if they are halal.

  12. Your Imam is a whore.

  13. The video infomercial at the Scroguard website is hilarious. The announcer has that “Monster Truck Sunday Sunday Sunday Bud Lite” voice, but more than that, I swear they used XtraNormal to make the vid. Ha ha Ha! http://youtu.be/O4ERegJ0Tow

  14. my fingers are still frozen

  15. We are still running the a/c; 94F today for the high.

  16. HotBride back in the hospital. Couldn’t breathe this morning. By the time I got her here her oxygen level was 86. They shot her up with adrenalin and steroids. She just had lunch and is asleep.

    Bronchial scope procedure at noon tomorrow.

  17. Logical next step is full body latex suits.

    Let me introduce you to a site called xHamster…

  18. BTW, ABSOLUTELY DO NOT GO TO xHamster. TOTALLY NOT SAFE FOR WORK OR SOCIAL SETTING.

  19. Prayers, HS – hope they figure this out soon; dear HotBride has been through enough already!

    Gentle hugs to both of you ♥♥♥

  20. Happy birthday, Michael!

  21. Oh my gosh, Hotspur – prayers ramping back up.

    Has to be so frustrating for you both… hugs.

  22. Dude. You’re an enormous homo and I hate you, but I really hope everything is ok.

  23. Damn, Hotspur. I know this is frustrating as hell for you and her.

  24. http://i.imgur.com/Rqr2nYd.gif

  25. How is GND, MJ? Please tell her “Hi” from us! She’s a sweetie :-)

  26. Oh, that’s just fucking great. There’s a Marburg virus outbreak in Uganda. Guess where XSis2 is head in a couple weeks?

  27. Not going any more though. Right??

  28. She’s still going. She says it’s in a different part of Uganda than where she’s heading.

    I said don’t bother coming over for Thanksgiving.

  29. She’s got some big ones, and I mean that in the most humble way. I could not / would not go.

  30. I’ve never managed to catch the movie, “We Are Marshall”, from the beginning but caught it from the start today.

    I do not remember when I’ve cried so much at a movie. This may top “Steel Magnolias” on the Kleenex-scale.

  31. Man up Cyn.

  32. *kleenex scale*

  33. The new Drudge Report app for iPhone sucks. Can’t believe someone thought it was better.

  34. http://tinyurl.com/mdc25bp

  35. The TiFW household is observing the Husband Corollary of Newton’s First Law of Motion in real time:

    A husband laying on the couch watching the ball game will remain laying on the couch watching the ball game – until acted upon by an external force to nag him to finish that remodeling project he started last year.

    Yeah, he’s not happy with me right now….

  36. That’s a sweet link, Scott!

    Love the stunned look on the USC frat boys’ faces….

  37. Lunch with Leon, FTW.

    *side note – it’s nearly impossible to call Leon by his real name consistently.

  38. His real name is Leon. It’s in the rule book.

  39. Hotspur, I sure hope they get a handle on what’s happening.

    Is it a chance she’s just weakened by the initial issue and catching every darn thing?

  40. The visit was a good gig. Leon spent hours driving to and from my house, bought me lunch, is letting me borrow his dehumidifier … and I sent him home with two clumps of dirt from my yard.

    Oh, plus my chickens hopped in his car.

    I bet he’s wondering right now why he did it.

  41. Cowboy are choking.

  42. Carin, she has some kind of infection. They just haven’t figured out what. We’re hoping tomorrow will reveal some things.

  43. Today is eleven weeks.

  44. Hope HotBride gets well soon.

  45. My dad would catch some things and oral antibiotics weren’t enough. Needed IV stuff.

  46. Comment by scott on October 5, 2014 3:13 pm

    http://tinyurl.com/mdc25bp

    http://youtu.be/FgMxTQV4Aow?t=2s

  47. I hope they find out what is troubling Hotbride quickly and fix her up!

  48. Dave, your dog gets around

    http://tinyurl.com/nz47vw7

  49. Flying to Fayettenam today. I have a three hour layover in Atlanta.

    What the hell am I doing in Globe?

  50. That left turn will get you every time.

  51. Forget it, CoAlex; it’s Chinatown.

  52. I was buying the chicken breast tenderloins that we feed our dogs. My boss: Chicken for dinner? Me: For the dogs. 2 recent immigrants from Africa that work in grocery: O.o I started to explain the Doxies GI issues that led to the chicky chicky diet. It didn’t help. I guess people in Africa don’t take their dogs to the vet. Good thing I didn’t mention Gingy’s allergies

  53. Spoiled brats, those doxies!

  54. Mcpo, yep. Are you drinking Hot Toddies for your ebola?

  55. This will make MCPO feel better http://tinyurl.com/m4acagg

    I had forgotten all about that game.

  56. “Omaha”

  57. Guess I shouldn’t have given Mr. TiFW a Benadryl for his allergies earlier….

  58. Heh. Mr TiFW fell asleep. Still avoiding Honey-Do.

  59. I’m freaking the dogs out by singing “San Diego SUPERCHARGERS”

  60. Sorry to hear Hotbride is back in the hospital. :(

    Crazy Facedouche friend of the day – only in the SEC would the mother of the bride duck out of the reception to check the football score.

  61. Hahahahaha!!!!!!!

  62. Had two bowls of chicken soup and took some Dayquil.

  63. Dear CBS,

    You wanna know why your ratings for NFL football are tanking?

    Your audience is tired of being lectured about the latest “social issue” by a bunch of overpaid actors who sound like scolds.

    STFU and stick to the beer and truck commercials, m’kay?

    Sincerely,
    TiFW

  64. Roamy, who gets married on a Gameday Saturday????? Lucky anyone showed up.

  65. P.S. CBS, and all other networks with live feeds

    Please get rid of the annoying electronic tones every five seconds in your broadcasts.

    Love and kisses,
    Cyn

  66. Homemade chicken soup or Campbells?

  67. Dear CBS, watching RedZone. Yours truly, ADD American who is also watching Tigers/Orioles.

  68. Oso – Yes.

  69. Feel better soon, Master Chief.

  70. This is still funny. http://tinyurl.com/p6ddzkr

  71. Mcpo, Sam’s has a really cute 4in1 playset that would look really cute next to DG’s pink kitchen.

  72. http://www.realclearpolitics.com/articles/2014/10/02/lena_dunham_anti-feminist_124152.html

    Money quote: “Well, actually, don’t read the book. It’s awful, and it has worse sex scenes than an Ayn Rand novel, which I honestly did not think was possible.”

  73. Greetings, football widows and football dead guys.

  74. Mint planted, cats fed. I think I’ll make some bacon for dinner.

    I planted the regular in front, and the chocolate in the back. I’m sure there’s a joke in there somewhere.

  75. Hi Sean.

  76. There was football today?

  77. A teacher asks the kids in her 3rd grade class . . .
    “What do you want to be when you grow up ?”
    Little Odie says, “I wanna start out as a
    Marine fighter pilot, then be a billionaire,
    go to the most expensive clubs, find me the
    finest whore, give her a Ferrari worth over a
    million bucks, an apartment in Copacabana,
    a mansion in Paris, a jet to travel throughout Europe,
    an Infinite Visa Card, and all the while banging
    her like a loose screen door in a hurricane.”

    The teacher, shocked, and not knowing what to
    do with this horrible response from little Odie
    decides not to acknowledge what he said and
    simply tries to continue with the lesson.

    “And how about you, Sarah ?”

    “I wanna be Odie’s whore.”

    From this guy:

    http://woodstermangotwood.blogspot.com/2014/09/land-of-opportunity-or-rule-5.html

  78. There was, is, and will be.

  79. Hello, MJ.

    Yes, leon, there was apparently football today. Or the giant beer commercial that passes for football, anyway.

    Also, why the chocolate gotta be in the back? RAAAAACIST!!!!

  80. My back yard is much larger, I’m sure that’s also racist.

  81. Jimbro’s link is kinda NSFW if you wander around much.

  82. Feel better soon, MCPO.

  83. XMom has the Marburg today, but for once, I felt great all day.

  84. butt is crutched, and in the oven.

  85. The end of the Cal – WSU game last night was crazy, b-rad. Hel, the whole game was nuts.

  86. Willow is in water tho root. Things I dug up are replanted. Seeded area around garden.

  87. Sean, I saw the Halliday highlight reel. And the missed FG.

  88. Yesterday’s games were seriously crazy!

  89. Tiger game just heated up.

  90. Looks like the Tigers just woke up. 2-1 with tying run on 2nd. Bottom 9.

  91. Text from my brother last night at 11:39: “Holy Jesus Cal got lucky.”

  92. Quiet, football is on.

  93. C’mon tiggers.

  94. Beisbol been berry berry good to me.

  95. Will the Royals have the broom out tonight?

    What to watch, KC/LA baseball, or Cinci taking NE out to the woodshed?

  96. There’s no soccer on now, Scott.

  97. 12 players on the field suggest baseball for J’ames. And his butt.

  98. That’s what I’m thinking.

    Baltimore sweeps, ugh.

  99. FACK!!!!!!

  100. Cries

  101. why is MJ so spiteful…
    http://www.worldwideweirdnews.com/2014/10/05-n34626.html

  102. heh. jam2 with the funneh.

  103. we should live blog the baseball game and drive everyone crazy.

  104. Zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz

  105. Middle of the 1st, Angels up 1-0 on a Mike Trout solo home run.

  106. 4 strips of bacon, tea and heavy cream. Dinner of champions.

  107. catching up on the important stuff:
    http://www.nydailynews.com/news/national/woman-ends-hospital-potato-contraception-article-1.1963849

    she obviously required a tuber ligation…

  108. Trout just proved he’s not the anti-Reggie. Unlike the Canadian on my team.

  109. First you have to make the playoffs.

    *runs

  110. J’ames, when we make the playoffs, our awesome offense disappears. Killing me. I H8 Votto. Stupid floppy head.

  111. Bases loaded, 2 out, bottom of the first.

    Time for the big one.

  112. Who are we rooting for?

  113. Halos.

  114. Not looking good for the good guys.

  115. the mushroom?

  116. Ah, I see that C.J. Wilson showed up to pitch today. The one who’s a bum.

  117. Scott had his heart broken by baseball. It’ll take a game of catch in a former cornfield in Iowa to cure him.

  118. Just kidding… Football starts back up in a few minutes.

  119. 3-1 Royals, end of the first. We had our first pitching change.

  120. Cyn…hahaha…NO!

  121. Wilson didn’t even last a full inning.

    *shakes fists at sky*

    MAAAAAAAAAARRRRRREEEEE!!!!!

  122. Jay could probably find a field near Ames.

  123. There are lots of fields near Ames. Why not just go down to Dyersville for the real thing?

  124. He has warrants in Dyersville.

  125. Too much spitting and ball scratching.

    Not my thing.

  126. Cinci giving the Patriots points? In Foxboro?

    I think I need to make a phone call.

  127. Football time sans junk adjustments.

  128. I have nobody to call.

    Stupid FBI.

  129. Not watching the game. If they lose I’ll lose sleep for nothing and if they win it’ll merit Game of The Week treatment and I can catch the replay later this week. Plus I’m out of beer and already own a pick up truck.

  130. Jimbro, you could watch baseball with the cool kids.

  131. Probably better than watching the Patriots.

  132. The goal is sleep so baseball may be just the ticket!

  133. What a very strange thing just happened. The back bell rang and I went to the door. My brain locked.
    My baby sister, who was 10 when I left home, was at the door. I just could not process seeing her here.
    She belongs 200 miles south, not here.
    It was odd.
    She is now 58 and a grandmother.
    My memory of her is of a 10 year-old.
    She was visiting two of her kids in Seattle, and putting one of them on a plane back to Cambodia. Driving home to Salem, OR, she “was in the neighborhood”, and stopped by.
    Holy Fuck, I’m old…

  134. Did the Raiders lose today? Because that’s really the only NFL thing I care about.

  135. Bye week.

  136. Jimbro, if the opening drive means anything, the Patriots should win big.

  137. Have you seriously not seen her in 48 years, Chris?

  138. A nice one from Wretchard on the Ebola “Surprise”:

    http://pjmedia.com/richardfernandez/2014/10/05/the-anatomy-of-surprise/#more-39682

  139. You’re not even remotely tempting me to walk down the hall and watch Scott. Nuh-uh, nope.

  140. Raiders didn’t lose today Sean.

    Bye week.

  141. Leon,
    I saw her at Moms wake, maybe 15 – 17 years back.
    I just could not parse that face in this location.
    It was “out of place” and did not fit, if you will.

  142. Guess I should read Oso’s comments. I wrote her and J’Ames off to baseball.

  143. Up by 7 and they got the ball back.

    It will be 14 nothing in a few minutes.

  144. Ah, an “out of context” thing.

  145. Royals are up 5-1. Think I’m gonna just stop looking at that for a few hours.

  146. ChrisP, my oldest brother carried me home from the hospital (no car seat). He never got over my being taller.

  147. Yup. 14-0.

    The whooping is on.

    Stupid FBI.

  148. Maybe I’ll watch till half time…

    Nope, not doing it.

  149. When I was born, that is. He was 17 years older.

  150. Everyone is going to be talking about it tomorrow.

    Brady surpassed 50,000 yards.

  151. You were taller than he was when you were born? How did he carry you?

  152. He was strong, like MJ.

  153. …..and they get the ball back.

    My next comment will be”21-0″, it shouldn’t take long.

  154. Peyton will pass Favre on total TDs this month.

  155. Roamy,
    Left home at eighteen.
    Moved away.
    It’s strange re-connecting with folks that your last contact was while they were little kids.
    When I brought Anita home for the first time (to meet the folks), my little brother was hiding behind a young pine.
    All you could see was his shoes.
    He was shy.
    She did not meet him for 20 years…

  156. I was reading the live blog at the Herald. This has got to be rebroadcast by NFL network…gotta be!

  157. Amendola is done. He’s Batman!

  158. ChrisP, he, too, left home at 18. My first memory of him was one Easter when he was home on leave from the Navy. I think I was 4.

  159. Benny’s being extremely cute but it’s too dark in my living room to get a good picture.

    MMM @603am.

  160. Leon, forgiven…this time.

  161. Why not at 604?

  162. Wow. Serious D in KC. Making it look easy in CF.

  163. What?

  164. Why not at 604?

    Because the complex algorithm I use to predict the optimal poating time didn’t generate that value.

  165. Royals Centerfielder is killing the Halo offense and making it look like a walk in the park. Great defensive play.

  166. Wow. That’s k in a n, and so t.

  167. I may just keep the willow in a pot until spring, Leon. Depends upon when things start freezing.

  168. AGT!!!!!!!!!!!

  169. Did anybody find anybody else’s enthusiasm for collecting Nazi memorabilia somewhat off-putting today?

  170. I have lots more if that doesn’t make it. Both trees have plenty of low branches, that was just the easiest thing to cut.

  171. 20-3.

    I was close.

  172. stupid FBI

  173. Football Bookies Incorporated?

  174. Poat updated with doggeh.

  175. I wish.

  176. Aw, Benny’s a good boy. Give him a scritch for me.

  177. Done. He’s asleep in my lap now.

  178. Awesome!

  179. Leftover london broil, baked tater, and wedge salad.

    Who is well fed?

    **does both thumbs at chest thingy**

    This guy!

  180. pulled pork? Well fed here, too.

  181. Finally made it to the hotel about an hour ago, only to discover that my work laptop is F*&%# up. The screen doesn’t work all of a sudden.

  182. Manwich and tater tots here. FTW

  183. Is it prugged in? Try prugging it in.

  184. Prolly just need to jiggle the screen a lil’bit.

  185. Have fun giving a ppt presentation from your phone.

  186. heh, you really had Manwich? I don’t care who you are, that’s funny!

  187. Here, Cyn. You’re gonna want to bookmark this for future use

    http://tinyurl.com/qevy23d

  188. http://tinyurl.com/k7w7b2b

  189. Sean kilt it. It was dead when I came back to check on it.

    Honest.

  190. Sean, did the guy who called you show up at the meeting?

  191. No, he did not. I texted him this evening, and he said he was just worn out from work and stayed home. I hope he’s telling the truth.

  192. Should we take a road trip to Vegas to check on him?

  193. You go ahead. I’ve got work tomorrow.

  194. I’m going grooving with the Stromberg Twins
    They’re such a couple of scenes
    I’m going grooving with the Stromberg Twins
    Such a derp, derp team
    From Frisco to Monterrey
    As we appear, the people say
    “He’s going grooving with the Stromberg Twins
    Such a lucky guy”

  195. Great
    I’m still stuck in the middle of North Dakota, reading the fucking derp


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