Welcum to another edition of BBF, hosted by me. Extremely tall and pleasantly well mannered. Let’s start with a joke:
*
I wrote this song for Sean because he’ll probably enjoy it while the rest of you people will most likely call me a flamer for *gasp* posting these hipster douchebags. Sean will note the feedback that begins in the second verse, the kick ass guitar solo, and the reference to other folk musicians in the lyrics. The rest of you people will flick boogers and send me hate mail. The vapors!
*
*
This week’s model is Joey Fisher. My guess is that she’s make an appearance in this hallowed post once or twice. But YOBBFO. You only big boob Friday once. Or twice. Whatever. Look, she’s got a bangin’ body and a really sexy look in her eyes that tells me she probably likes vanilla yogurt. A recent resume listed her measurements as TItty-Fuck, Waist-Grab, Shake-That-Ass. You know, I think I even used the first picture as…the first picture. Like I said, whatev.
*
And now a few gifs to sooth the sore beast:
L to R: H2, IB
MCPO playing with his new internet machine.
Did you know that the iPhone 6 bends? You should try it Hotspur.
Pupster doing the ice fuckit bucket challenge.
MJ impressing some bitches.
Mare sighting!
Roamy’s average day at work, sans space pen!
Your average day at work.
Your mom’s average day at work.
How Leon imagines himself; actual Leon.
Rosetta at his 40th birthday party and possibly my favorite gif of all time.
L to R: Phat, Wiser, and Cyn on day three of the TITS meat up in Tempe.
*
*
*
*
UPDATE:
MJ IS THE HAPPIEST PERSON ON EARTH.
221 Comments
Sorry, the comment form is closed at this time.
I should get a round of applause for this post. It’s really, really good.
It’s ok.
*removes tartar sauce from Car in’s fish stick lunchable
Tartar sauce is fattening anyway.
Excellent job, MJ, though I gotta figure out where you’ve hidden the camera.
This was yesterday, no shit.
http://fireballs.ndc.nasa.gov/events/20140925/ev_20140925_091854A_10A.avi
Another one
http://fireballs.ndc.nasa.gov/events/20140925/ev_20140925_073959A_03A.avi
Parkour is for twerps whose joints don’t hurt yet.
I just want to not suck at life away from the glowing rectangles like most engineer dweebs do.
Who is this MJ person? What have you done with the real one?
Aww, don’t worry, leon, you don’t suck THAT much!
I suck much, much less than a lot of guys my age and moderately younger. Plus rough hands help me out in shaking hands with other white-collar workers.
Good job MJ, one of your finest yet.
I still don’t think it’s MJ. I need to see some ID.
I suck
much, much less thana lot of guys my age and moderately younger.FIXED.
No, you.
*OH SNAP*
http://clashdaily.com/2014/09/3-mistakes-hannah-graham-made/
I am thinking about self-defense classes for Mini-me and myself. She’ll have to be 14 for Krav Maga, Karate is an option, too.
IYour Mom sucksmuch, much less thana lot of guys my age and moderately younger.Fixt mo bettah.
BOO!
What’s up with Ernst, Jay?
That’s either the edge of her arreola in that first pic or she’s got a rash. Either way she needs a foot of dick.
So you’re going to bang her three times?
Sorry, I know there was supposed to be No Math.
BUNK!
Applause
Possibly the best gif of all time.
Thanks!!!!!
What do you mean about Ernst? They are attacking her in Iowa, linking her to the Koch Brothers and “Big Oil™”. She’s been pretty positive, but other 501c’s are attacking Braley on missing veteran votes (he was on that committee).
Currently neck in neck in polling, but they said the same about Ernst in the primary, which she won by about 20 points.
Oh, and they are trotting out the “War on Women” with Ernst too. Yes really.
“Do you know that Joni Ernst thinks my boss should decide my birth control?” Actual line in a campaign ad. Big Planned Parenthood brochure in that one.
I was wondering about the attacks. Ernst seems to be showing gains, but the national press indicated that Braley had the MO.
Made no sense. Thanks.
Unless it breaks, it will be GOTV election. That scares the shit out of me.
I think Ernst will win. The pollsters are getting the dem voters on the phone. Lots of people aren’t bothering with them, and will be voting Ernst. LTC in the guard who deployed to Iraq and brought everyone back in a transportation company. She’s got that to run on, and now that’s one of her ads. Plus veterans speaking out for her.
The national press loves Braley. The eastern Iowa lawyer. That slipup against Grassley in front of the Texas lawyers, in front of a drink cart, really cost him here. He’s been backing away from that a mile a minute. Now he’s practically a farmer in his ads, but that is a lie, and is biting him in the ass.
We need an agent in every press conference to ask him what he’s got in his garden.
Dead already? Nice work, people!
*rolls up bar of soap in a towel for the blanket party
This is a pretty good summary:
http://daddywarpig.wordpress.com/2014/09/23/gamergate-achievement-unlocked-epic-shitstorm/
I just left a deposit on a rental home. I then apologized to the landlady and told her that never happens to me.
Should have thought about baseball.
I wanna get that book, Roamy. Thanks.
Oh man. Can’t muster the interest in gaming wars.
Let’s just go with my blanket statement:
I hate ______ because of I’m a racist.
Basically, the gaming industry is going through the same cultural attacks that Hollywood fell to a few decades ago. The difference is that this time it’s happening in the open and the enthusiasts of the media are fighting back.
*wallows around on ground, tries to summon righteous anger.
If you miss movies where Americans are the good guys, and the bad guy is occasionally something other than a hetero white male (and likely Republican), this is relevant to you.
#ChadGate
It’s bigger I heard.
#Chadgate is funny
Is that the gate Chad’s flight is arriving at?
Yes; it’s the biggest gate in the terminal.
#HowYouDoin
Yea or Nay?
Sudden Jihad Syndrome strikes again:
http://www.cnn.com/2014/09/26/us/oklahoma-beheading/index.html?hpt=hp_t2
Eh, I prefer the classics.
I was just reading about this at the Fox site, Xbrad.
Kriminey.
http://online.wsj.com/articles/bill-gross-leaves-pimco-for-janus-1411736217
HUGE news. Bill Gross is THE bond guy.
Also, virtually my first day at Merrill, I met him. He stopped by to talk with my boss. Introductions, etc, and back to work.
I was so new in the industry, I had no idea who he was.
Also, virtually my first day at Merrill, I met him. He stopped by to talk with my boss. Introductions, etc, and back to work.
Nice to know that he still has time to talk to the shoe-shine boy.
http://youtu.be/PS3jlUPPf5U
Can’t see the full story on Bill Gross; not a subscriber. El-Erian left recently I just read.
Good God those things are near planetary status
Are they pulling you in gravitationally, Dave?
Pluto is jealous.
I’d love to reenact Shakespeare’s Merchant of Venice with her.
Scene III, Act II:
Portia: Bossanio, what thou thinkest of mine planetary jugs?
Bossanio: Me thinkest that a tit wank appears upon the horizon.
Fin.
appears upon the horizon.
ISWYDT
Why do they do this every fucking time? What other beliefs have been involved in beheadings lately? Unless he used a guillotine, I don’t think he’s french.
http://tinyurl.com/ph6aoog
Or you can read about it at AoSHQ.
I kind of like civilization. I don’t anticipate ever converting to Islam and becoming a howling, midieval savage.
A good beheading after getting fired sounds therapeutic, but cracking a six-pack of beer seems much easier.
Yeah, I can’t really see converting to any religion that bans both bacon and booze.
Islam sucks. There. I said it.
ooooOOOOOOOooooo
I luv it when you make that noise.
So does Your Mom.
And Your Dad.
*emails Chad Cyn’s phone number
I also got you this as a gift for hosting TITS.
Best. Gift. Evah!
*plugs phone in charger and waits for #BigChad’s text
fucking airlines….
wiserbride is supposed to be traveling to Chicago this afternoon. She kept checking the airline’s web site for an updated status on her flight. It just kept saying “on-time.”
So she heads to the airport.
Just as she arrives, they change the status to “delayed.” At least two hours at this point, but you can easily bet it will be longer.
Like, they couldn’t tell her this before she left? It wasn’t fucking obvious to anyone with a fucking brain that the flight was going to be delayed? No, just get her to the airport so she can sit around there for the next 6 hours.
I am so glad I don;t travel like I used to.
*snaps a selfie waiting for #Chad’sBigGate to call*
Islam is Scientology if it were invented by an illiterate Arab warlord in 6th century AD.
So, is Allahu Akbar Arabic for take this job and shove it?
Posted by: 18-1 at September 26, 2014 12:59 PM
It was a fire at O’Hare that caused the delay, they might not have known.
All flights are fukksized fuxxored today. All the local newsers had peeps at Sky Harbor updating us by the minute of all the delays!11ty!
Some contractor asshat at the Chicago ARTCC set a fire. It fubar’d O’Hare and Midway traffic. It’s not like the airlines had a lot of warning.
No, they didn’t have a lot of warning, but this was going on when I flipped on the teevee at 0600; five hours later, they should have a handle on it.
PROVE ME WRONG!
And now they have just cancled her flight.
Nice work, US Air.
It was a fire at O’Hare that caused the delay, they might not have known.
I knew at 9am. How the fuck did they not know?
It’s not like the airlines had a lot of warning.
She left here at noon. You mean to tell me they didn’t have a handle on what was going to happen after 6 hours?
Bullshit.
They can’t get her to Chicago until Sunday.
Maybe Chad could help.
You could have her there by tomorrow morning if you leave soon.
Fly to South Bend and rent a car. It’s a 90 minute drive to Chicago.
Or Amtrak it from SB to Chicago, if you hate yourself.
Day Care for Hostages:
http://tinyurl.com/qekdhez
Any confirmation that the fire at the Chicago FAA was arson and the guy that did it was found with self-inflicted injuries? 2nd case of SJS?
Any confirmation that the fire at the Chicago FAA was arson and the guy that did it was found with self-inflicted injuries?
It’s looking that way.
Reading over the attack, it sounds more like a crackpot who lost it after being fired rather than a jihadist attack.
Was he fired for advocating jihad at work?
Or had he been making comments about slutwear by his female co-workers?
HA! I just got a happy anniversary from werdpuss.
thanks
http://youtu.be/6XJ3KMYuqoQ
Tom Cotton agrees to a Chuck Todd-moderated debate for AR Senate.
We never learn. http://minx.cc:1080/?post=352082
Candidates should demand that the moderators be drawn at random from an equal number of names put forward by each candidate. Four debates? Then each side puts forward two names.
Oh wait, you think these are supposed to be fair?
He should only agree to it if it is moderated by Gwen Ifill or Candy Crowley.
This one made me laugh:
What, Jay Carney and George Sniffalotapuss weren’t available?
This cannot end well:
http://www.nationalreview.com/corner/388813/us-immigrant-population-hits-all-time-high-413-million-people-ryan-lovelace
Busy Hostages. Dead H2.
Just when leon starts working from home.
Reviewing slides at work and trying to decide when I want to head over to the G2 BBQ.
Mmmm, BBQ. I get pizza tonight.
I kinda don’t want to go, but I’ve already bought a fruit tray and a veggie tray for the event. Plus, I probably should meet and greet these guys since my job relies on support from the S2 shops on post.
I’ve been basically working from home for months, this ain’t on me.
Plus, the sale is delayed while they continue to sort out the customer getting willies about a transfer of ownership on one of the contracts.
http://www.fbi.gov/about-us/cjis/ucr/crime-in-the-u.s/2012/crime-in-the-u.s.-2012/tables/8tabledatadecpdf/table-8-state-cuts/table_8_offenses_known_to_law_enforcement_by_connecticut_by_city_2012.xls#disablemobile
Have a look at the Newtown line, then put on your tin foil hat.
I will not be going on the Las Vegas ferris wheel. Started to hyperventilate just seeing it in relation to The Strip. I will also not be doing anything at the Stratosphere or the zipline at the Rio. I will be watching college football at the Red Zone.
But will you try Green Eggs and Ham?
How were those not murders?
I will not try green eggs and ham, I do not like them Cyn I am.
You may like them
You will see
You may like them
in a ferris whee
Here’s something else I noticed……Lubbock is considered to be hicksville by snobs from the eastern part of TX but it’s bigger than every city in CT. If size matters…….and I’m told it does, west TX is a sophisticated cosmopolitan city compared to those CT hillbillie fucks.
I’ve got a IRL friend who has posted a bunch of stuff on his faceplant page advocating that Sandy Hook was the real life version of that movie with OJ where they went to the moon on a sound lot. Evidently there’s a pretty good bunch of folks out there who think it was orchestrated by the govt as the pretext to a big gun grab.
Oso, when you going to Vegas? I’m going to drop by there on my way back from Pulllman, Washington nest wknd.
I’m too afraid to follow up with the Would not, could not in a box, could not, would not with a fox…
PG, I’m in Vegas right now.
I’m in your mom right now.
*up twinkles Hotspur*
*follows by using copious amounts of hand sanitizer*
Ooooh, that felt nice.
*leaves a Jackson on the dresser*
It was good for me too.
Congrats oso. If you’re staying at the Mirage don’t drink all the Crown. I’ll need a dose or two a week from Sunday.
Hotspur and Cyn and whoever’s mom he was referencing need to get a fucking room. And probably some lube considering the likely age of any of our moms. And probably some Viagra considering the age of Hotspur.
*gives PG the “Macrowedgie Up Twinkle” of his life and a cigar for after*
I don’t think they faked it, but why the heck is the FBI site listing for the year it happened… wrong?
What the heck are you going to Pullman for, PG>
Hi Cynnamon girl
and X
ok the rest of yous too
Viagara Falls…Slowly I turn…Step by step…Inch by inch…
*waves to Vman*
Viagara Falls
Ha Ha Well done, Oldspur.
Man caused disaster.
Don’t drag me into this shit, you faggot.
*hi-fives broheims to cover up deeply-felt insecurity*
x,
The son of a good friend of mine is on the coaching staff up there. He played for Leach at TTU. I was a big fan of the kid growing up. Ran into him in a bar at Christmas time and asked him if they were playing anywhere close this year. He said no but invited us to come up and see them playing at home. I had enough Southwest Rapid Rewards points to do the flying for free so a couple of us are headed that way next wknd.
*puts on Steve Miller Band Greatest Hits album*
Dennis Erickson was the coach when I was there. Cocksucker bailed to Miami.
Too many DUI’s in Washington.
No, mostly that WSU was only paying him $70k a year. Miami upped that a bit.
Jack Daniels tastes like horse piss gone bad.
I have no idea how horse piss tastes like, but it can’t be any worse than Jack Daniels.
I never understood the popularity of JD when there are so many better whiskeys out there, Tush.
Horse piss is better.
It has to be.
Horse urine is Paleo
Your mom never gets old!!!!
PG, you’re safe. Drinking Four Roses this trip. And Makers. Vacation means I don’t have to drink Evan. Mmmmmm…bourbon.
JD is only drinkable when mixed with Coke, and even then it was a last choice option. In high school.
I drank Moosehead before I’d drink Jack n’ Coke. Really.
I drank Southern Comfort, Yukon Jack, and Brass Monkey instead of Jack Daniels.
I think it’s just popular because rock stars tend to die after drinking a bunch of it. You literally can’t buy that kind of publicity.
(Unless you know certain unsavory people who have a bunch of duct tape and a funnel.)
I’m pretty sure that hand sanitizer is an excellent alternative to JD, no mixer required.
After 2 drinks it all tastes the same to me. Carb addiction.
At beach.
Out of my mind happy.
Miss you idiots.
I have not had it in a while but I liked Gentleman Jack a while back. When it hit $50 a bottle I quit drinking it.
Hey Lippy, that haiku doesn’t scan!!!
Evening Hostages.
Anyone do anything worthwhile today?
I worked until 7:00, then I went to Walmart.
2 1/2 more years of this.
Greetings and my sympathies, People Who Are Not Me.
I am so damn happy.
I’ve been housesitting in my old town for the past week and going to my wonderful old haunts . After a long, long time, it’s as if the dials have clicked into place and things have changed from off-kilter to …. kilter (?) I could almost hear the click, and this joy is a physical feeling.
*jumps, clicks heels, trips on flip flops *
Other people need you to buy their cigs and pay for their healthcare, Scott.
He may be Jack to you son but when you’ve known him as long as I have…
http://tinyurl.com/qg8aba9
Bcoch, I played in the lab half the day, then did my ethics training that a significant portion of the rest of the executive branch seems to ignore.
Ethics is doing whatever you want to get what you want. Apparently.
SQUEEEE!!!! Happy for Lippy! *stupid flip flops ;)
I did 5 cases today (knee, foot, finger, wrist, elbow) and they all did well. Boy #2 is hosting a sleepover with 2 school friends. They’re watching “Diary of a Wimpy Kid” movies which are understated classics.
Delayed at airport
I’ll sleep in my bed tonight
Or burn it all down
(knee, foot, finger, wrist, elbow)
**hums “Head, Shoulders, Knees, and Toes”
In the movie the older brother of the protaganist has a garage band. Here’s their tour van:
http://tinyurl.com/jwrxszu
**raises a glass of wine in Lipstick’s direction**
Yay!
Osita, squeee back to you, Vegas Chick! You having fun?
Sam’s Town is a good place to check out, it’s on Boulder Hwy and Flamingo. A bit different from the Strip places.
Lippy, we’re using our BConnected points at the Gold Coast and Orleans. Heading to Sam’s Town tomorrow to chillax. Watching Lobo football right now. I don’t gamble. We’re going bowling later.
Well lah-tee-dah!
I’m perfectly OK with drinking Jack Daniels.
Man I miss all you assholes who were in AZ a few weeks ago.
And all you other assholes too.
I was perfectly happy drinking Jack Daniels if it was free. I don’t think I ever paid for the stuff–not even a Jack and Coke.
Fun Friday at the HQ. Lyric game and Morons are being moronic and lyrical. Mostly moronic. Mostly.
Missing you too, Dave.
So… Who’s ready for another meat?
Still has sadz for missing Tempe.
Damn! Thunder and lightning. Whole building swayed. (Truthiness metric deployed)
People are hoarding pellets this year.
It’s freaking September and everyone is sold out.
Scott, it is still in the 90s in ABQ, and we’re already selling pallets of pellets. At 5.16$ a bag. Last year, the price was steady at 3.98-4.58.
>> So… Who’s ready for another meat?
My liver just punched me in the face
Did anybody tip off the revenuers to the location of anybody else’s still today?
I might know where you maybe could find a new liver. Of course, we’d have to take a trip near the river bottom.
No
http://tinyurl.com/pblm8md
http://is.gd/orLyZj
I was on pretty decent behavior at the meat face. It won’t happen again.
Raises toast to Roamy, yay.!
I miss you guys too and am ready to have another meat with everyone there. That would be awesome.
Off to dinner. Love you guys.
Stolen from Theo:
“Leading drug companies have announced that live rabbits will no longer be used in scientific experiments.
Muslims will now be used instead. A top scientist has stated that the advantage of using Muslims is they breed faster than rabbits and you never get fond of them!”
I’m ready for another meat-up. My liver has forgiven me.
Jimmy Fallon had a funneh about how Chicago changed its mind about naming a high school after Barack Obama. Said the parents were concerned that their kids would be in there for eight years and still not accomplish anything.
ba-dum-dum
I actually left my liver at home that weekend.
Jimmy has had a few jokes at TFGs expense lately. The comments have been brutal. His audience was stunned the first time JF made a golf joke about TFG on vacation. The seals were silenced.
My liver says it’s ready for another meat but my wallet is still whimpering a bit.
Muslims will now be used instead. A top scientist has stated that the advantage of using Muslims is they breed faster than rabbits and you never get fond of them!”
What about the smell?
Hahaha Scott and ChrisP. Thought of Scott when Dan opened the closet in our hotel room. It was like the Smelly Car episode of Seinfeld.
XBrad, your liver is a masochist.
http://tinyurl.com/nte32a9
The toss…
XBrad, your liver is a masochist.
It just wants it to be over.
I was on pretty decent behavior at the meat face.
It won’t happen again.
I’ll have the camera ready.
I’ll have the eyebleach handy.
she seems nice.
That’s probably not a bad idea.
I’ll have the Sesame Street Rape Crisis Center’s phone number ready.
http://i.imgur.com/nR3pPXJ.jpg
One of Googleman’s friends came over tonight at about 5:30 pm, borrowing a USB with some software on it to test drive; he was only stopping by, 20 minutes tops.
His parents just came to pick him up.
I had to stretch pizza and pizza rolls for three boys. I didn’t think it could be done.
http://tinyurl.com/oujyfmb
It was nice to commiserate with other parents of teen boys (they have two as well the same age as mine). She just kept saying, “I thought we were the only ones having this problem with them!”
http://youtu.be/B8IfCSnYPYo?t=27s
*foomp*
♪ I’m awfully fond of you ♫
TIMING!
“Let me scrub your little ducky tummy”
Things that sound naughty?
There has to be a gay bar somewhere called “The Rainbow Connection.”
New poat’s in the hopper for tomorrow.
I. am. outta. here.
Again, still out of funny for the quarter. New quarter doesn’t start till 1 October.
post work glass of wine poured.
for some reason, I made a million Long Island’s tonight. it was weird.I do make good long islands. I think the servers suggest ’em when I’m bartending.
some total douchenozzle said my margarita sucked.
1) he wanted it made with well tequila
2) he wanted the bottled marg mix. Yuck. I just use that for frozen ones. Just yuck.
did I mention he was a douche.
Well, make me a Long Island. I promise I won’t bitch about it.
I’ve bartended long enough that I don’t get butthurt when someone doesn’t like a drink I make. Unless there is something seriously wrong, often it’s a matter of someone liking shit sweeter, or less sweet.
I’ll work with people. Unless they’re an asshole.
http://kfor.com/2014/09/26/emergency-crews-responding-to-crash-involving-semi-truck-and-school-bus/
Can I have an organic, gluten-free Bloody Mary with all the ingredients in separate glasses?
What’s the soup of the day?
People,
You can never change the way they feel,
Better let them do just what they will,
For they will,
If you let them,
Steal your derp from you