Have you seen me?


  1. Wow how did i get in so early

  2. Wiser stealth posted this thing. No one knows it’s here.

  3. What the hell is a Wiser?

  4. I do believe I’m about recovered from TITS.

    And some of you hit it waaaaay harder than me.

  5. Drunk radio guy.

  6. I try to walk lightly and poat with a big stick.

    Hotspur, know that the hawtbride is in my heart and in my thoughts. she is far to good to have to be going through this.

  7. I do believe I’m about recovered from TITS.

    not quite yet here…..

  8. Wait, what did I miss????

  9. all this post needs is a picture of a mare on a milk carton….

  10. “I just want to express a sense of profound relief that no national disasters happened today.
    This is where we’re at. Just happy nothing blowed up.”

    I agree completely with this sentiment.

  11. I agree completely with this sentiment.

    Same here.

  12. Wait, what did I miss????

    Meh, nuthin’

  13. I agree completely with this sentiment.

    Same here.


  14. Wiser, Hotbride was readmitted to the hospital today.

  15. If you want some ponypron, I may know a few links.

  16. No.

  17. Fuck no.

  18. Until I awake tomorrow, I’ll not feel relief that there has been no attack today.
    Again, I agree with one of the “Morons”™, that, rather than us fear an attack on 9/11, we should make THEM fear.
    Make a random Muslim city glow on 9/11.
    Could be Tehran, Mecca, Medina, Islamabad…
    They could run a book in Vegas. Let *them* try to figure out who was gonna be “IT”.

  19. Holy shit I just watched the “Horses Are Sexy” video. Bwahahahahahahaha!

    What ever drugs those Adult Swim people do, I want them and I want them right now. Fuck Reality Woooo Hoooo Yeeeeaaaahhh!

  20. I say we go back and kick their asses again, except this time we take their oil.

  21. Make the rubble bounce

  22. We don’t need there oil.

    There’s more in Texas. The Eagle Ford field down south is the largest producer in the world right now

  23. Tellin’ ya, neutron bombs. leave the stuff standing. Less fallout that way too.

  24. I don’t fix typos, fuck that shit

  25. *shuns Dave and his bad grammar*

  26. Hello all, Good to see you MCPO I have not in a while.

  27. Illiterate and a luddite. Excellent combo.

  28. see if I care about your bad back from here on out.

  29. I tell ya, we nuke the sand, lay down some contacts, throw in some phosphorus and boron, nuke it again, and have one big honkin’ solar cell. Then even the greenies would approve.

  30. Oh you care. You can’t help but care about me.

  31. I like this plan

  32. *subscribes to Roamy’s newsletter*

  33. You know darn well that’s not how you make those, Roamy.

    Besides, I want the oil.

  34. Roamy is smart. Rocket Surgeon smart.

  35. I am motivated to make it work. It would only be 6-8% efficient, but I’m good with that.

  36. Ok, after nonstop eating – I’ve managed to fast.

    I’m going on 5 hours.

    /stomach growls

  37. I’m ok with that efficiency too roamy.

  38. Why not 9%?

  39. what’s wrong with 45%?

  40. Fasting is easy if you aren’t a wuss.

  41. Hi Car in.

    What it looses in efficiency Scott it makes up for in size.


  42. You people–and I mean you people–disgust me.

    We should try to be friends with them. I’d die for the sake of diversity.

  43. The religion of peace, love, and tie dye.


  44. I’d die for the sake of diversity.

    Many Americans likely will.

  45. As long as they go ahead of me I’m happy.

  46. Just use the oil we have here – when the ME figures out we don’t need them, they’re gonna be SOL. It’s not like they have much else of value.

  47. If we got serious about nuclear, oil would only be needed as a chemical feedstock.

  48. You only need to run faster than the slowest one MJ

  49. Why is it that after every play in a football game, no matter how inconsequential the play, there’s someone screaming and carrying on like they just felt up Cyn?

  50. Apparently people who watch football have ED too.

  51. I am planning to get a Tx Dl tomorrow. I had everything I needed 2 weeks ago but when I went they were not taking new applicants.

    *sets alarm clock*

  52. This must be why I love football.

  53. They should just change the name to the NPL

  54. Apparently people who watch football have ED too.

    Everyone has ED, MJ. Except young guys without pr0n addictions who’s girlfriends have waist-to-hip ratios near 0.7.

    So basically everyone.

  55. I don’t believe that.

  56. I do not have ED.

  57. >>there’s someone screaming and carrying on like they just felt up Cyn?

    Cause they did just feel up Cyn. She gets around.

  58. I did once have Ed.

  59. Everyone has ED,
    Speak for yourself Leon
    “I am as good as I once was, and as good once as I ever was”

  60. I may have overstated the problem slightly. But the ads wouldn’t be constant if it weren’t pretty widespread.

  61. Just sayin’, the lower the efficiency, the more nukes you’ll need.

  62. *fist bumps Lips*

  63. I never had ED. I read a lot of the journals on yourbrainrebalanced, though, and a lot of those guys really can’t or couldn’t perform with an actual human partner.

  64. If Cyn says she had Ed, I am betting he begged for mercy.

  65. Cyn, was it Eddie Bear?

  66. Just sayin’, the lower the efficiency, the more nukes you’ll need.

    No, no; you only need just the one pill.

  67. *feels up Cyn*

  68. **thud**

  69. Ed was a cowboy in Oklahoma. I liked cowboys, but not Cowboys.

  70. I still don’t buy it.

  71. Did you ride him Reverse Cowgirl?

  72. Heh
    Lips rocks!

  73. I think the efficiency number was for the giant solar panel.

    6-9% is plenty efficient in a high sun environment with a nice wide area of several hundred square miles.

  74. I thought Reverse Cowgirl was Roamy’s move?

  75. Did he call you “Ma’am” as you Reverse Cowgirled him?

  76. Damn, that Cards Against Humanity/Hostages was so fucking fun and hilarious and a riot.

  77. I still don’t buy it.

    I suspect that most of the market is older guys on other medications that kill their erections, plus the people using it as a lifestyle drug.

    Ernie takes it so he can foomp Bert longer, for instance.

  78. As I recall Afghanistan has a heap of rare earth metals. I’m sure we could find something to do with them.

  79. It’s hard country, though. I wouldn’t want to mine there.

    We should just heat it up until the metal bubbles up to the surface.

  80. Oh yes Ma’am!

  81. Every Hostage Meatup going forward MUST include an event that involves Wiser having to down 5 shots of tequila.

  82. He sang it as satire. I thought it was excellent foreign policy.

  83. We should up that to 6.

  84. Why not 7?

  85. Seconded!

  86. Let’s just round up to 100.

  87. You can zip up that youtube anytime now, Chief.

  88. How many meatups have there been now?
    2009 CT
    2010 CT
    2011 STL
    2011.5 TX
    2012 CT
    2014 TITS

    Something seems off.

  89. Ha, Chief: “…don’t want to hurt no kangaroos”.

  90. You missed Lapeerapalooza.

  91. I’m so far behind on meatups.

  92. 2013 TX

  93. Yeah, how do I do that, Cyn?

  94. When was Lapeer? Was that 2012?

  95. We have to use the “href” tag now; just paste the link after the “=” and again where the word/title should go. Werdpuss. *spits*

  96. There was a TX meatup last year.

  97. I just went to the Meat Locker page.


  98. Bedtime.

  99. Hey Lip.

    What do you do for fun?

  100. Last year? Hrmmmm no pix. No Pictures – Didn’t Happen.

  101. I thought Reverse Cowgirl was Roamy’s move?

    If I get a cowboy hat from Secret Santa, I’ll switch out the PoL pic.

    I think the first TX meetup was 2010.

  102. It was a sausage fest last year in TX. They did something to put a red dot on Tushar’s forehead.

  103. Exactly. Pics or it didn’t happen.

  104. I have pics, but the cease and desist letter got here before I could post them.

  105. The most salacious picture I saw was the one I took of my junk.

    Meat up fail.

  106. Meat up win?

  107. *glances up from browsing TITS pix*

    Big win.

  108. There’s a pic of some chick grabbing your ass.

  109. She was a huge slut.

  110. MJ, hmmm, good question. Not a lot. Read, travel, try to keep up with world events. I’ve been slowly re-connecting with friends here in CA after being away for 8 or 9 years.

  111. The Cards Against Humanity folks are our kind of guys.


  112. Total slut.

  113. Roamy, Michael has a grill thermometer that uses a red laser. XBrad pointed it at my forehead, and Cathy took a photo. Unfortunately, cameras are not designed to capture laser light, and the red dot did not show up in the photo.

  114. They never let me say shit like that at my job! Kindergarteners or not, they deserve to hear the truth

  115. From what Wiser says, MJ’s junk pic would require a wide angle or panorama view special photographic treatment.

    Holy Hell–it just hit me–I didn’t look, but Wiser did!

    *kicks self*

  116. Lip, I loved hanging out with you.

    You’re a doll.

  117. Looks like there are Hostages in Scandiland too.


  118. Truth be told….think of a giant sausage. Then multiply that by 3.5.

  119. Loved hanging out with you too, MJ.

    You’ve got it together. Smart and funny wrapped in mellow.

  120. Ceci n’est pas un poat.

  121. Right back at you, Lip.

    Couldn’t have described it better.

  122. GO, are you by the reservoir of hate smoking your special pipe again?

  123. Truth be told….think of a giant sausage. Then multiply that by 3.5.

    It should be 3.14159 for a nice, round look.

  124. It’s more oblong that round.



  125. Oses-tu me demander au sujet de ma pipe? Quelle audace.

  126. I’m the person looking at it. Sheesh, put that thing away!

  127. Hi guys. My LIV rant for the day. If you are a NFL fan and your team is on TV, if you are pushing a shopping cart for your wife during the game: Don’t take it out on me!!!! Gah! Miami fan on Sunday and Steeler fan tonight. Man up!

  128. I think the meat-up in Dallas, 2013 was technically an IB meat-up to which Hostages were invited.

  129. *blows kiss to MJ*

  130. Le réservoir de la haine m’accueille par la pipe des rêves.

  131. pipe of dreams?

    I’m working on one year of high school French here.

  132. Dumping this here. My FiL is unable to transfer from bed to wheelchair. He is in rapid decline. Medical team doesn’t know why. Running a barrage of tests. One of his woodworking buddies visited him and then called MiL about how “Bad” he looked. MiL called Dan 20 times today. To top it off, Gingy didn’t recognize Dan when he got home from work today. 2 hours of anxiety doggeh. HBD to me! LOL

  133. SMFH:

  134. The JEF looks a little too excited to be stuffing backpacks. Hanging curtains looks manly next to this.

  135. I remember Phat posting really L8 on 9/11/12. I knew something serious had taken place, but I really didn’t think that an Ambassador and 3 Americans would be dead and our collective response as a nation was “Meh”.

  136. BTW Shelf life for meat up gloating is like 3 days. You guys just need to STFU nao. Stinky like fish. SCIENCE!!!

  137. My parents got divorced after 43 years of marriage. My dad has been dead for almost 5 years. My mom decided that her birthday call to me would be a good time to bitch about my dad. Old me would’ve gotten snarky. New me read comments at the HQ and let her drone on. Yay new me. New me likes bourbon.

  138. Just saw the Meatup pix in the Meat Locker
    Looks like a fine group of folks broiling in AZ
    Plus Rosetta

  139. Hi TJ.

  140. I’m boycotting the Meat Locker pics. 1. I’ll be pissed that I missed the closest meat up ever. II. The GAME. And C. I can’t remember the password. Even if I did remember, I wouldn’t look, because OMG I H8 all y’all and your pets. ELEVENTY!!!!

  141. I like Cheetos. Reg not Hot. (Not a cool kid)

  142. Pets Held Hostage isn’t password protected.

  143. I don’t care!!! I’m bringing the H8 on all y’all TITs types. (Except HS and GND)

  144. Hi Oso
    New corrected belated Feliz Cumpleanos
    I was stuck in North Dakota during TITS
    Decided to start a new oil business down here in Texas in the meantime
    I really miss the Texas oilfields
    Sort of been my home since I first stepped foot on a rig at the age of 17 a kajillion years ago..

  145. I was watching while you’re dancing away.
    Our derp got fractured in the echo and sway.
    How come everybody wants to be your friend?
    You know that it still hurts me just to say it.

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