Big Boob Friday

Hi. As you know, the lawyers from Gortons are trying to shut this mother fucker down. Apparently some asshole has been linking, and constantly referencing their number one selling product. But we’re not going to take it. Nay, we’re not going to take it. We’re not going to take it….anymore.



Today’s BBF model, in addition to teaching kindergarten, likes to suck down 40s, poor a little out for her homeys, smoke whole turkeys, practices cross fit 3 times a week, gardening, and perform avant garde interpretations of Shakespeare’s tragedies. She stands 5 feet fat, weighs in at an impressive 69 inches and would you like to beware the booty….please put down your bottle of Hennessy and put your hands together for Miss Moe!!!!!!!!!!



Miss Moe would like you to check yourself, before your wreck yourself. And also finish this kindergarten pop quiz. No cheating, assfaces.

708 – Fish sticks are minted in Japan for the first time (Traditional Japanese date: August 10, 708).

1498 – Vasco da Gama decides to depart Calicut and return to Kingdom of Fish Sticks.

1541 – The Ottoman Turks capture Fish Stick City, the capital of the Hungarian Kingdom.

1756 – Frederick the Great attacks Saxony, beginning the Fish Stick War.

1898 – The Goodyear fish stick company is founded.

1922 – The first radio advertisement is broadcast on WFSTCK-AM in New York City.

1958 – United States Air Stick Academy opens in Colorado Springs, Colorado.

1997 – At least 98 fish sticks are killed by the Armed Islamic Group of Algeria GIA in the Rais massacre, Algeria.

2012 – At least 26 miners are killed and 21 missing after a blast in the Xiaojiawan coal mine, located at Panzhihua in Fish Stick Province, China.










Ya’ll have a nice weekend. We’ll see you in Tempe—GND & MJ.



  1. Nice flashback/tribute.

    She has a pretty face.

    I need a volunteer for next Friday that is not MJ.

    Thank you.

  2. Also, GND?

    You are effing banned.


  3. leon called it.

  4. Bewbs have landed!

    And they left a crater!

  5. I think MJ did this, and is blaming GND. Let’s make sure before banning GND.

  6. crash and burn

  7. It’s rather ungentlemanly of him to blame GND.

  8. wat

  9. Too bad the rooftop pool isn’t going to be working next weekend – otherwise we could give MJ a Hostage-style waterboarding before tossing him off of the building.

  10. See, even the Hostagettes are upset!

  11. Bardarbunga, y’all.

  12. Bardarbunga means booty-clappin’ in Icelandish I think

  13. Can’t be Icelandish. Not enough consonants strung together.

  14. Yer right about the consonants Jay. Compare and contrast:

  15. Well, that stings

  16. Miss me yet?

  17. Yes.

    Absolutely yes.

  18. Yes.

  19. That’s a relief. I thought Yellowstone was erupting, but it was just BBF.

  20. And to think, one week ago today I was drinking beer and having fish sticks with him. One week from today Ima knee him in the jimmies.

  21. Don’t stub your toe.

  22. Why are we missing Hotspur?

  23. The behemoth with the back fat up yonder

  24. If this shit keeps up, we may have to petition Rosetta to return.

  25. The behemoth with the back fat up yonder

    She ate him?

  26. If this really is the fault of GND, she must wear the Teeny Weeny Bikini of Shame to the meatup.

  27. Oh, I see. So Hotspur is more popular because his BBF sucked less?

    I think the award for worst BBF goes to Lauraw.

  28. Actual Holstein, plate of fishsticks.

    Totally effin’ called it.


  29. Morning, children. Vegas sucks. MR is a sick bastid.

  30. MJ not “MR”

  31. Hahaha

  32. someone take that little dude’s keys from him.

    He’s had enough.

  33. Pffft. MJ… MR… I think “Mud” works too.

    Wait… is, is that racist?!

  34. Rich is gonna be so disappointed

  35. All know is that I feel pretty good about this Monday’s poat by comparison. It had more women in it.

  36. I have to admit I couldn’t make it all the way through the TDFW video.

  37. I know where I’m moving after the collapse: Bill.

  38. . . . It had more women in it.

    Not by volume.

  39. How could you not make it all the way through?! That’s anthem-level awesome riiight there.

  40. I un-bucketed you, Oso.

  41. When the policeman went to motorboat our BBF representative in the video, I’d had enough.

  42. I’m going to have to listen to Stinkfist to get the awful images out of my head.

  43. Thanks, Cyn. I didn’t know GND was a muppet, too!

  44. So is she Ernie or Bert?

  45. We’ll find out next week.

  46. Click/Hover on the GND

  47. So is she Ernie or Bert?


  48. Click/Hover on the GND


  49. I think she does the penetrating, so I think that makes her Ernie.

  50. TITS countdown: 7 days!!

  51. Food truck lunch today, “The Hangover”

    Garlic hash browns, fried egg, bacon chilli (no beanses), covered with cheese.


  52. Hover on the GND

    That’s my plan for pretty much the entire TITs….

  53. That sounds dericious, Pupster.

  54. John C. Wright being one of the good guys, y’all might want to grab one of his books free today:

  55. awesome

  56. awesome

  57. The Reverend Al Sharpton would totally be shaming her.

  58. I see Ebola has spread to Senegal.

  59. First day of kindergarten, before, after

    Buckle up kid, it’s all downhill from here.

  60. Wiser, I posted a comment at some other site about new vs old gas cans and Laura said you could explain the reason for them.

  61. First day of kindergarten, before, after

    Heh heh I’ve done those pix with the boys every single year. And every year, absolute exhaustion at the end of the day, with my favorites being the ones of them asleep on the family room floor. Hilarity.

  62. That sounds dericious, Pupster.

    The bacon chilli was completely new to me, they used a combo of sweet and spicy peppers, very tasty.

  63. Didn’t the last company in America that made those gas can go under/fold shop due to lawsuits against them?

  64. I vaguely remember that Car in. There are videos showing ways to hack the new ones to make them pour properly. My friend buys NATO Jerry cans for his gas generator.

  65. Didn’t the last company in America that made those gas can go under/fold shop due to lawsuits against them?


    Cousin of mine owned the company. They lost two lawsuits and were facing many more.

    BAsically, two idiots poured gasoline from their cans onto open flames. The obvious happened, a child died in one incident, in the other, the meth addict was horribly disfigured.

    Gas can maker was somehow found to be responsible and lost millions.

    Cousin said “fuck this.”, spun off every other product they made and closed the place down.

  66. I see you’ve enjoyed BBF and Miss Moe.

    It was GND. You can ask her next week.

  67. company’s liability insurance went from about $200k per year to $8mil.

  68. oh… oh my….

  69. That sucks. When Paula fills the waverunner with a new style gas can, even with a funnel, the lake always gets a dose of gasoline.

  70. I see you’ve enjoyed BBF and Miss Moe.

    you are an evil little man.

  71. That sucks. When Paula fills the waverunner with a new style gas can, even with a funnel, the lake always gets a dose of gasoline.

    And how much did it cost?

  72. Hitler was evil. I prefer to think of myself as more of a stylist of evil.

  73. Not sure, just paid the man. There’s not much choice for gas cans besides capacity now.

  74. We now have 35 year olds being enrolled in public school, thanks to the JEF and his cronies.

    This will not end well.

    Wait, I have a solution. They’re all south/central American, right? Mandatory Little League signup. Those fuckers will catch anyone overage quick.

  75. By your question I’m gonna answer “more”

  76. By your question I’m gonna answer “more”

    more than likely.

  77. Time to get the kid, part of the day off from work package

  78. I prefer to think of myself as more of a stylist of evil.

    And I’m sure Hitler just thought of himself as a gentle soul who deeply cared for the citizens of his country.

    Doesn’t change the facts.

  79. The lead story on Fox News Radio is “Tony Stewart is going to race again…”

    Seriously? That qualifies to be the lead story???

    I’m surprised the next story wasn’t an update on Joan Rivers.

    I hate Fox News Radio. When I take over the mic from the guy who is on before me, we constantly roll our eyes and laugh when we hear some of the mindless drivel they report.

  80. OMG Why don’t we have any new updates on Joan Rivers?!11??

  81. OT: If I see one more fucking bottle of water to drink, the next person I see is gonna get a beatdown to rival MJ’s foomping by GND when she sees his comments.

  82. There are two to three dozen AA women I can think of off the top of my head who I’d consider having sex with were I not married. This big ho ain’t one of them.

  83. she pretty much asked for it, didn’t she?

  84. She does have a pretty face.

  85. This big ho ain’t one of them.



    Sorry, I thought I could pull that off with a straight face but not!

  87. Cyn ♥ Pupster

  88. Cyn building up steam to kill Wiserbud

  89. If I was the news announcer I’d just say “Folks, nothing worth reporting happened today.”

  90. If I was the news announcer I’d just say “Folks, nothing worth reporting happened today.”

    First time I did the moning news at the station, nothing newsworthy happened in the entire state . I mean, there was literally nothing in the news to report on. It was horrible. I had 5 minutes to fill, 7 times, and I had nothing at all to report on.

    I was so tempted to just say “Nothing to report. It’s 75 degrees. Back to you, Tom.”

  91. Am I seriously the last person to learn this?

    Learn what? That he is actually MJ?

  92. I’ll give today’s….. ummmm…. “model”… this:

    She has a pleasant smile in the last pic.

  93. He always thought it was pronunced “Dead Mou Five”.

  94. Yeah, that’s how I thought it was pronounced.

  95. That ~is~ how it’s pronounced; those nasty tricksters at Wikipedia love to try to get people messed up on the way to say it.

  96. Grifters are getting more creative with their stories. Yesterday I was putting gas in the car and a woman at the pump behind me (with Texas plates) had the following problem: She was at the beach and had all her money in her bra, went in the water and a wave hit her and now her money is gone and her kid needs to get back to San Bernadino for a chemotherapy appointment, etc.

    Maybe if I had given her some cash my karma would have improved and today’s post would never have happened.

  97. Xbrad, you gonna be around Tuesday night?

    I’m coming into town for a conference and got no plans for Tuesday night.

  98. You would have needed a lot of money to ward Bertha off Lipstick

  99. Tuesday the 2nd in Palm Desert/Palm Springs? Yeah, I should be free.

  100. That’s not what I learned. it’s differently funny.

  101. Dang. No mini-meet.

  102. Dead Fish 6.

    It’s my new stage name.

  103. Comment by Cyn on August 29, 2014 12:26 pm

    TITS countdown: 7 days!!

    I’m practically piddling myself with excitement.

  104. well, not getting together with Xbrad (my own stupidity) but I WILL be seeing one of the original Hostages instead!!!

    WOO HOO!

  105. If I was the news announcer I’d just say “Folks, nothing worth reporting happened today.”

    About half the time when I bother to watch the news I catch myself screaming at the TV, “HOW THE FUCK IS THAT NEWS?”

  106. Dead Feh Sicks is the correct pronunciation, yes?

  107. Either my keyboard is worn out or the laotian midgets that work the curtains for wordpress are on strike today.

  108. (I’ve already put the ear-plugs in my laptop bag, just so I don;t forget them….)

  109. I would’ve never heard of deadmau5 except one of the retarded kids in town wears a deadmau5 tshirt to church about half the time. I figured it was some kinda Mickey and Minnie death cult thing.

  110. (I’ve already put the ear-plugs in my laptop bag, just so I don;t forget them….)

    Tell her we miss her, and quit hanging out at FaceFuck all the time.

  111. some kinda Mickey and Minnie death cult thing

    Nailed it.

  112. Tell her we miss her, and quit hanging out at FaceFuck all the time.

    she said she wants to hang out here more often, but this placed is uber-blocked at her place of employment and by the time she gets home, there’s no one around.

  113. Why do I have to provide a birth certificate for my kids to play league soccer, but immigrant ‘children’ don’t have to provide a birth certificate to enroll in school?

  114. Because diversity and fairness, Alice.

  115. that’s quite the racisty question there, Ms. Aitch

  116. I denounce myself.

  117. Putin is putting the band back together.

    You’re next Kazakhstan

  118. If Putin promises to kill Borat slowly and painfully, I’m OK with this.

  119. Out of the loop here — where did the fish sticks thing come from?

  120. Worth noting.


  122. Mostly from Friday meat abstinence, Lippy. No other reason to make the darn things.


  124. Um, thanks.

    Ace used to call some fat lib reporter or blogger fish sticks. That was the only thing that came to mind. Oliver Willis or something like that, but other than that….

  125. I forget the genesis of the Oliver Willis Fillet-O-Fish joke.

  126. Hey Lippy. GND and I were doing some ridiculous word association one night and for some reason, probably the massive quantities of mind altering substances, the phrase fish sticks made us laugh like Rosetta at an open bar with all you can eat ice cream.

    Turns out there’s a whole episode of South Park about fish sticks and Kanye West that neither of us had seen.

    TL, DR: I’m an idiot.

  127. Ghetto Bar fish sticks. They’re legendary.

  128. They were pretty good. I might even order those on a day other than Friday in Lent.

  129. Fillet-O-Fish, that’s it, Xbrad.

    MJ, you two are giddy in love. Example: this post. You and GND against the world and the world can suck it. “Sweetums, let’s make ‘the others’ look at Bertha, hahahaha!”

    *shakes head*

  130. Ghetto bar fish sticks were great.

    The company sucked.

  131. No you.

  132. I think it was Leon. He had a little dried spooge on his goatee.

  133. Hotspur was fine company as always.

  134. That was eggroll juice.

  135. Gross

  136. That was eggroll juice.

  137. My wife made me eat it.

  138. Gross

  139. All of the bills are starting to roll in from this little adventure with my colon. And we’re not done with all of the procedures yet, either….

  140. On the plus side, if I have the surgery sometime this year, I shouldn’t have to pay anything out of pocket…

  141. Honorary Hostagette?

  142. >>>Comment by leoncaruthers on August 29, 2014 5:35 pm
    My wife made me eat it.


  143. The caption on a picture of Joan Rivers on CNN says that she had a “health scare” on Thursday.

    So when they say “moderate Muslim”…..

  144. Kinda fun / sad when you get thru the deductible and copay hump.

  145. Yeah,um, not really.

  146. NOOOOOO!!!!!!!

    Imma hafta cut a bitch if another network doesn’t pick this up…..

  147. I just keep being grateful to have coverage at all. In three years, or earlier if the ex quits his job, I’ll be uninsurable. (We’re staying married on paper for that long for the coverage.) If one more person says “oh, then you’ll have Obamacare” so you’ll be alright”…

  148. Oh crap, Theresa. I’ve only seen season one on Netflix, but was looking forward to watching it more.

  149. You’ll have obamacare, so you’ll be alright.

  150. We have a freezer full of cooked meat. It’s great, Laura defrosted some brisket today.

    I think the roast beef comes out better than fresh.

  151. Greetings, real internet friends.

  152. Hey, Lippy – you’ll have Obamacare, so you’ll be all right.

  153. Hey Sean, happy anniversary.

  154. Indeed, Sean:

    Happy 3 Year (+ 1 day, give or take) Cake-Eating Chip-Getting Anniversary of the Rest of Your Awesome Clean Life.

    Very proud of you and I can’t wait to give you three years (+ 7 days, give or take) of hugs next week!

  155. Meh, the books are lots better, TiFW and Lippy.

  156. Which are you saying is real, Sean? Your ‘friends’ or the internet?

    Holy shit, has it been three years?

  157. Proud of you, Sean. Don’t break the chain.

  158. Happy birthday Sean?

  159. Happy Sober Day.


  161. Thanks, youse guys. You’ve all been more help to me than you’ll ever know. Even wiserbud and wiser.

    (We call this day a sobriety date or birthday in AA, MJ. It’s actually pretty cool because I get something to celebrate between my actual birfday and Chrimmas.)

  162. Happy anniversary/birthday, Sean! So happy for you and your new lease on life ♥♥♥

    *makes plans to help Sean roll all the drunks for quarters next weekend*

  163. If you need a quarter, just ask. Or get me to say a big word in front of my wife and then ask her after she makes me give her 50 cents.

  164. You have to pay to say curse words at your house? Dang; she’s strict.

  165. No no, I can swear all I like, she gets frustrated when I use florid language or rare but completely legitimate English words. She calls them “50 cent words” and I got sick of her blowing up over me speaking like an educated person, so the compromise we struck – at my insistence – is that I had to give her 50 cents when I used them and she wasn’t allowed to be angry.

  166. I’m appalled.

  167. Aperture, satiety, sclerotic, etc.

  168. I’m not all that happy about it either, but I’m stuck with her forever at this point and I needed peace more than the occasional pocket change.

  169. You should just flip her $10 every Monday. Florid Money.

  170. Hi Appalled, nice to see you!

  171. Pay her in olde-timey coins. Florid Florins.

  172. Sclerotic has nothing to do with erotic.

    //very disappointing Rule 34 search

  173. *kicks Hotspur and Theresa*

  174. *runs over Lippy with walker*

  175. My use of big words is offset by Paula’s cussing. The woman has a gift. No money is exchanged.

  176. Hey, that’s mine!

    *realizes revenge was misspelling ‘Teresa’ for years*

  177. Dammit. Ace’s music post has me thinking of a Forgotten 80s Mystery Click he posted last year set to Aeon Flux. I just can’t quite recall it.

  178. Dancing bananas? Seriously?

  179. Hey Sean Happy Birthday.

    I am very glad you did not die. Even more glad you are living life.

  180. Nevermind. I remember the song now.

  181. Our asshole auctioneer just left for a 4 week vacation, after a huge freaking auction.

    People are going to be furious.

  182. Finally home. 4 whole nights!!!!!!!!!

  183. Thanks, dave.

    What was the song, b-rad?


  185. Ah. Got it.

    Now that he’s got that figured out, you can all come back.

  186. I’m going to have to see a doctor next week. First time in 3 years.

  187. You okay, Chief?

  188. I’m ready to chop off my left arm. But. Yeah, I’m okay.

  189. It’s probably gluten.

  190. Dropsy.

  191. I’ve had tendinitis before, this is something far worse. My hand was so swollen earlier today I could not make a fist.

  192. **cough**prostate**cough**

  193. So, RICE was self-diagnosing? Take care of yourself.

  194. Which arm?

  195. My hand was so swollen earlier today I could not make a fist.

    Rosetta must have been devastated.

  196. My dominant one.

  197. Hahahaha I love you guys.

  198. lymphatic myopfapsia. You may have to do strange for a few weeks to get it back

  199. English, motherfucker! Do you speak it?

  200. Right?

  201. Which reg? Reft reg?

  202. LEFT arm. I’m left-handed.

  203. Have you done compression with an elastic band or inner-tube?

  204. Don’t mess around with that.

  205. All people are born right-handed.
    The gifted overcome that…

  206. Sinister talk, that.

  207. Leon – I’ve done to whole RICE thing for a week. No joy.

  208. Listen to Scott.

  209. sometimes the lymphatic system goes haywire and limbs swell.

    A cuff is the only way to compress the fluid back. Mrs. Dave has this thing going on.

  210. mj – this poat is possibly teh worst!!!! you win the fishy stick –

  211. Damn, I’m sorry. Maybe roll a compression sock up the hand when you go to bed.

  212. Prayers MCPO

  213. Am I the only one who thinks the BBF today is actually kind of dishy? I mean, not conventionally, but she definitely has something cute going on with those curves and that smile.

    Yeah she’s a big gal but not every guy wants a pocket pet.

  214. Btw, I FUCKING HATE going to the doctor’s office. (No offense, Jimbro, you help little ones)

  215. Have you clearly described your symptoms to the doc, MCPO? Because this seems like a good case for a walk-in ER visit to me. Not really an emergency, of course, but just to get some attention/ relief right away.

  216. Laura has been drinking and snorting sweet-n-low, don’t listen to her.

  217. Because this

    Am I the only one who thinks the BBF today is actually kind of dishy?

    Is crazy talk straight up.

  218. Jimbro lops limbs for profit.

  219. Doc-in-a-box service here is great. The ER, not so much.

  220. I’m rural and depend on the clinic at Carlisle Bks. I’ll just stick to NSAIDs until Tuesday.

  221. Did anybody recognize the old couch they left out on the curb a few months ago in anybody else’s living room today?

  222. Anita came home from the gym this morning with an “I Love You Mom” balloon.
    Today is the 18th year since her mom died.
    She planted a tree, then.
    Each year, she brings a balloon home for Martha.
    Martha was a tough woman.
    She was a “Rosie The Riveter” and after that worked for Jantzen for 25 years, then waitressed.
    Martha WAS “Hard Core”.
    Anitas’ mom was cool.
    May GOD bless you Martha…

  223. His license plate is LLFP



  226. That’s sweet, ChrisP – here’s to Martha!

  227. *raises a water bottle to Martha*

  228. Martha! Martha! Martha! Wait…hugs to Anita.


  230. Undercover Brother is one of my fav stoopid movies. I guess the new JB movie didn’t do well.

  231. I have an extra day off and wish to explore my new home state. I hae never been anywhere here so where should I start?
    I thought of visiting Mesa, or going south to Corpus, or west to the hill country. North is Dallas, I could bug the heck out of Michael, and east is Louisiana and gambling with New Orleans and food a few hours away.

  232. MCPO,

    Only one solution:

  233. Come up with one more option then roll a die.

  234. Vmax, have you been to New Braunfels yet?

  235. Hola, amigos.

  236. Another vote for New Braunfels here. Get yourself over to Gruene Dance Hall while you’re at it.

  237. Can’t stay up late, in LA and have an early flight. Good night, citizens!

  238. What’s shaking, Andy

  239. Nighty night Phat

  240. Call Michael. If that doesn’t work out, ditto on New Braunfels.

  241. Just remember it’s Labor Day weekend, which means the touristy places will be crowded. Also, they will still be there next year.

  242. Smoking some chickens for tomorrow’s cookout. How ’bout you?

  243. Oh… “smoking” some chickens.

  244. Rolling the pollo is tough.

  245. I don’t like beans. H8 ’em. The #8 at Twisters has beans and green chile. I order it no beans, smothered red. The Twisters by my house ALWAYS deletes the green chile when I order “Smothered”. Today, I emphasized green chile inside, with my no beans. I got beans AND green chile. Dan thinks I just need to order “No beans/Christmas”. I think the kitchen needs to follow their menu board. (Bacon, potatoes, egg,green chile)$20 buys a few.

  246. If you come up this way, give me a holler, VMan – we can tag team a visit to Michael.

  247. I don’t like beans. H8 ‘em.

    Worst. Messican. Evar.

  248. Smoked pollo? WTF? I thought you had GA/TX ties? Pollo is so ghey!

  249. Bedtime.

  250. Leon, I know!!!! We have a traditional Messican dinner for Xmas. I work retail for a reason. Dan badgered me into spending a Xmas with mi familia. I TOLD HIM! My Mom my whole life: Here, have some beans. Me: I don’t like beans. My Mom: You don’t like beans? (Fast Forward for Dan as my witness, Scarlett O’Hara) My Mom: Here, have some beans. Me: I don’t like beans. Mom: You don’t like beans? Fin

  251. >> Am I the only one who thinks the BBF today is actually kind of dishy


  252. Stopped in for BBF. Threw up in my mouth a little bit.

  253. How can you have any flan if you don’t eat your frijoles?

  254. The pollo is for the chirrens. I have ribs & brisket for me.

  255. I don’t really like flan. Arroz con dulce is my weakness.

  256. Sean M wins the thread!

  257. Can someone point out to Conor Friedersderf that the guy running for sheriff in California who’s bragging about being from Texas is running here. Not exactly L.A. or San Fran.

  258. Sean, that’s halfway between LA and SF. It *has* to be uber-liberal!

  259. Another TL;DR. Zozobra is ALWAYS after Labor Day. ALWAYS. A few years ago, gangbangers ruined Zozobra with a few crowd shootings. Signaled the start of Fiestas. Santa Fe moved Zozobra to Thursday. This year, Zozobra was moved to tonight. Fiestas are still next week. Waiting to post a big FU to Santa Fe next week.

  260. Depression/weight gain/stress on Dan…blah blah blah…Fuckers at work held an intervention on me today. I’m still pissed.

  261. Lippy, Bucs/Reds on FOX tomorrow….AND I’M WORKING!!!

  262. Blurgh… back injuries suck.

  263. REVVY!!!! How ya doin?

  264. Okay, back hurts. How’s you Oso?

  265. Sorry, Revvy. I only give front rubs.

  266. What happened, Revvs?

  267. Better than you!!! I saw your posts this AM way after the fact.

  268. I pulled something really bad Sean. Almost passed out and then was stuck on my back on the living room floor for an hour and a half cause I couldn’t get up and everyone was either asleep or at work. I entertained myself by posting on facebook.

    Oso: Yeah… turns out laying turtle-style is really boring, had to keep myself entertained.

  269. Going to bed now. Some one on the West Coast needs to keep Revvy on Speed Dial.

  270. Nighty night Oso 🙂

  271. TTFN

  272. I will tell y’all why Dan needs to die, soon. SOON.

  273. A chilling portent of things to come.

    Sorry your back is messed up, Revvs. I saw one of your facechimp posts this afternoon, but I figured I was too late to be of any help.

  274. Everybody’s here with me
    Got no camera to see
    Don’t think I’m not all in this derp
    The camera won’t let me go
    And the verdict doesn’t love our soul
    The digital won’t let me go

  275. I was wicked tired last night and in bed asleep by 930. Alarm went off at 5 because I forgot to turn it off. Hope your arm is feeling better Chief. I wouldn’t hazard a guess at what it is based on your description. Elevation above the level of your heart is good but hard to do except when you’re laying down which gets boring after a while.

  276. Joan Rivers Update: Still alive.

  277. >>Joan Rivers Update: Still alive.

    Abe Vigoda too.

  278. Paperweight

  279. Someone beat the living shit out of George Galloway.

    Breitbart lists five reasons why we should not be happy about it.
    Eh, fukk it. I am damn happy about it.

    Dude needed his jawbone rearranged.

  280. It would have been better if he’d been attacked randomly by “Asians”.


  282. Kids, Kelly is a slut.

  283. Which is why it’s really not necessary to know her name, coincidentally.

  284. Wakey wakey.

    I’m so happy for Sean and his diet dr pepper. THREE YEARS?

    I even spoke on the phone to him when he was going through it all. ON THE PHONE.

  285. Wonder if Kelly has an inner lip tattoo or custom grill on her teeth.

  286. I should call you someday, just to see who hates it more.

  287. I should call you someday, just to see who hates it more

    We could live blog it and make everyone uncomfortable.

  288. I hate phones too. When I talk to a person, I want to be able to see how he reacts. Phone is just a disembodied voice.

  289. Thanks for the suggestions all.

  290. Am I the only one who thinks the BBF today is actually kind of dishy? I mean, not conventionally, but she definitely has something cute going on with those curves and that smile.
    She seems like a lot of fun. I’m glad you agree.

  291. Face Time is awesome.

  292. College Game Day is on. Everything is awesome.

  293. Good morning cool kids.

  294. Your mom is awesome.

  295. I’m going for a run.

    I hate you all.

    Don’t call me.


  297. Sipping my coffee, getting caught up on Internet Things, channel surfing and I stumble across “Dirty Jobs with Mike Rowe”. It’s like HHD on Saturday.

  298. I’m going bike shopping in a little bit.

    I’ll be asking the salesperson about saddles that don’t cause… blood flow issues.

  299. Hostage Theater

    The scene: Paula showering before a trip to Bangor to pick up sneakers for boy #2 for cross country.

    Paula (yelling downstairs): Do we have a new shower curtain anywhere?

    Me: Nope

    P: This one smells like ass. I thought we did.

    Me: Nope

    P: When I go into town for Dick’s I’ll grab one

    Me: A dick?

    (Chorus of adolescent boys): HAHAHAHAHAHA

    Yeah, I’m not getting any love for a while.

  300. Jimbro,
    I have lost count of the times when I had a very Hostagey comeback and I had to bite my tongue before I could blurt it out. Especially at work.
    It is easier at home. The Mrs is used to it now.
    But once in a while, when I say something that is a sanitized version of a typical H2 comment, people look at me like I am Louis fucking CK.

  301. P: When I go into town for Dick’s I’ll grab one

    Me: A dick?

    (Chorus of adolescent boys): HAHAHAHAHAHA

    I can almost assure you that Paula laughed too.

  302. TD4W.


  303. I laughed.

  304. I can push it at work Tushar but very carefully. There’s something about the medical field where you need humor to keep your sanity. If you dwell on human suffering for too long burnout is inevitable. It’s a fine line that needs to be self policed. I’ll occasionally get a rebuke and learn my lesson about that person’s limits. Some people don’t get it and get written up. We call those people ex-employees.

  305. College Game Day is on. Everything is awesome.

    Our Aggies played Thursday night. It WAS awesome!

  306. I know just the bike, Leon.

    You’re welcome.

  307. I’m not manly enough for that bike.

  308. Jimbro, Doctors come in contact with a wider section of society and thus have very low level of intelligence expectations from people.
    When the doc was explaining the procedures before my wife’s c-section, he mentioned the glucose drip.
    I couldn’t resist and said,”so what do you put in that IV bottle for diabetics? Splenda? “.

    I could see the remaining faith in humanity draining from his eyes.

  309. Obama gave a speech about preparedness yesterday. Apparently September is National Preparedness Month. My irony scale broke.

  310. TITS Coundown


  311. Maybe I’ll put up Miss Moe for BBS.

    What say ye?

  312. No.

  313. We’re all rooting for Alabama today, right?

  314. Who?

    Roamy is sitting down. This must be taken care of IMMEDIATELY. Deploy bullshit requests pronto. Ask where something is, declare you can’t find it when it’s right effing in front of you. If the phone rings, don’t answer it, make her get up to see who it is. If this continues, deploy sarcastic spouse to say, “What have you been doing all morning?”

  316. *slides a bloody mary over to Roamy*

  317. **throws chocolate, wine, and coffee at Roamy**

  318. One-upmanship is unbecoming a gentleman.

  319. Did a gentleman one-up you, HS?

    *runs before XBrad can throw anything*

  320. If the phone rings, don’t answer it, make her get up to see who it is.

    ^^^This^^^ is why the TiFWs got a phone with 3 handsets – we’ve deployed them in strategic locations throughout the house. If I’m laying down on the couch, I just park one of the handsets on the coffee table within arms’ reach.

    Sometimes, I forget to do that – of course, that’s when the phone rings off the hook (and nobody else is at home)

  321. Sorry, HS. But the coffee thing *had* to be done. I’ve seen the warning sign in her office.

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