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The New TITS Are Here!

Yes, it’s a joyous day indeed. I don’t know about the rest of you crotchsniffers, but *I* got my new T.I.T.S. t-shirt in the mail today.

And Mr. Chumpo’s graphics on the back are pure H2.

20140723_205532

20140723_205628

Show me your T.I.T.S. in September. I’m really looking forward to it!

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July 24, 2014
Categories: American Hero, Mother Fuckin Bootleg, No Drama, personal junk, The Bear Is Loose, The Cat's Pajamas, Your mom likes this . . Author: xbradtc

413 Comments

  1. Comment by TexasJew on July 24, 2014 12:11 am

    WTFITS?

  2. Comment by osoloco11 on July 24, 2014 12:19 am

    Don’t let DiT see the period after Dr in Dr Pepper. It makes him cray cray.

  3. Comment by osoloco11 on July 24, 2014 12:23 am

    Heh discombobulating DiT? NM

  4. Comment by xbradtc on July 24, 2014 12:25 am

    TJ, I was just thinking of you. I’m reading some on Apollo, and your buddy Harrison Schmitt. Interesting fellow.

  5. Comment by osoloco11 on July 24, 2014 12:27 am

    Woman threw her water on the floor “Near me” not “At me” today. I was like WTF? Is it my fault that her kid weighs 200# and the deck box is not intended to be a bench?

  6. Comment by Rich on July 24, 2014 12:35 am

    If I were to attend, I would insist on adding a rubber fist and pennies. Just saying.

  7. Comment by xbradtc on July 24, 2014 12:37 am

    Cyn’s got them just waiting for you, Rich.

  8. Comment by osoloco11 on July 24, 2014 12:37 am

    *Looks at calendar* Hi, Rich.

  9. Comment by Colorado Alex on July 24, 2014 12:44 am

    Ok, where do I go to order a shirt?

  10. Comment by Colorado Alex on July 24, 2014 12:46 am

    I’ve been trying to shame her on Facechimpdouche.

    Shame harder.

  11. Comment by George Orwell on July 24, 2014 12:52 am

    Is this t-shirt message available on a g-string or a ball gag?

  12. Comment by osoloco11 on July 24, 2014 12:52 am

    Go Shop Now on sidebar for tee. Working on PJ in PMs and on her wall on FB.

  13. Comment by xbradtc on July 24, 2014 12:54 am

    CoLex, there’s an icon on the upper right with the TITS logo. Click that to go shopping.

  14. Comment by osoloco11 on July 24, 2014 1:00 am

    FiL was moved to rehab today. MiL is clueless. Dan and I are both off tomorrow. He told Mom we would pick her up at 2 to see Dad. Can you guess how many times she called to see when we were picking her up? Dementia sucks.

  15. Comment by George Orwell on July 24, 2014 1:01 am

    That is either a graphic sunburst on the front of the shirt or an abstract representation of a sore rectum.

    Either fits H2.

  16. Comment by Colorado Alex on July 24, 2014 1:07 am

    Room reserved. I should have done it a month ago, but I was lazy and now I’ll pay for it with a higher rate.

    I’ll order the shirt next month.

  17. Comment by George Orwell on July 24, 2014 1:11 am

    By the way, how does Mr. Chumpo know what my mom smells like?

    …uh oh.

  18. Comment by osoloco11 on July 24, 2014 1:13 am

    My boss is a lesbo. The other day, a Member asked us if we had any fresh spices like rosemary or basil. My boss said “No”. I was like “Why didn’t you say we don’t have fresh herbs, either?” My boss: No way in hell I’m telling some mulleted bull dyke that she’s wrong.

  19. Comment by Teresa in Fort Worth, TX on July 24, 2014 1:13 am

    Any chance there is a black shirt available with the big sunburst logo on it? Men’s sizes are fine; I like the looser fit.

    Don’t think this prudish lady can quite bring herself to wear anything with the word “dildo” on it, though…..

    Sorry, Chumpo! It’s a cute design.

  20. Comment by George Orwell on July 24, 2014 1:20 am

    mulleted bull dyke

    That sounds like a variety of saltwater fish like tarpon.

  21. Comment by osoloco11 on July 24, 2014 1:21 am

    Wear it as a sleep shirt!!!

  22. Comment by Teresa in Fort Worth, TX on July 24, 2014 1:24 am

    I have CHILDREN in my house! I can’t do that, either……

  23. Comment by Teresa in Fort Worth, TX on July 24, 2014 1:28 am

    Rebecca is starting to learn how to read much better now; the last thing I need is for her to go to school and teach the other kids how to spell “poontang”…..

  24. Comment by osoloco11 on July 24, 2014 1:30 am

    GO, she was huge. Looked mean. My boss and I had to go to H8CHKN to pick up food for all of the GMs and DMs. My boss had never been in a H8CHKN until yesterday.

  25. Comment by George Orwell on July 24, 2014 1:30 am

    Relax. Just tell the kids poontang is merely orange-flavored poon.

  26. Comment by George Orwell on July 24, 2014 1:40 am

    Hmm. Bull Dyke in a H8CHKN. Sounds like trouble in River City.

  27. Comment by osoloco11 on July 24, 2014 1:41 am

    TiFW, I became the principal’s best friend as a 1st grader. Stephen Riddick called me a “whore” in the 2nd grade. I was like “How do you spell it?” Country of origin?Use it in a sentence. (Someone queue The More you know)

  28. Comment by osoloco11 on July 24, 2014 1:43 am

    GO, she was very uncomfortable. At the same time, she was marveling at the level of service.

  29. Comment by George Orwell on July 24, 2014 1:43 am

    Whore. Noun. A sport. “I like to go whore’s back riding.”

  30. Comment by Teresa in Fort Worth, TX on July 24, 2014 1:46 am

    But it’s a Christian school with nothing but kids with Down syndrome – I don’t think the other mommies and daddies would appreciate the new vocabulary word(s).

    And you just KNOW that a word like “poontang” would be their favorite word, cuz it sounds so funny……

  31. Comment by George Orwell on July 24, 2014 1:46 am

    Srsly, why be uncomfortable? Did the girl taking your boss’s order ask if she wanted to eat chicken or carpet? Of course not.

    Lesbos need to put on big boy pants and get over themselves.

  32. Comment by osoloco11 on July 24, 2014 1:47 am

    HAHAHA He couldn’t even spell it. I figured it out and beat him up in recess. I used to fight a lot in elementary and middle school.

  33. Comment by George Orwell on July 24, 2014 1:47 am

    Poontang is how astronauts took poon to the moon.

  34. Comment by xbradtc on July 24, 2014 1:52 am

    Think more “fleshlight” on the lunar expeditions, GO…

  35. Comment by osoloco11 on July 24, 2014 1:52 am

    She only goes to “Gay Friendly” businesses. It is kind of funny that my Lesbo friends with families tend to be very conservative and vote Republican. Like their guns. My gay male friends are apolitical or vote D-rat in spite of their conservatism. One of my gay married guy friends has become such a Libertarian. He H8s TFG, but can’t vote GOPe.

  36. Comment by osoloco11 on July 24, 2014 1:54 am

    My RL Tranny friends are seriously troubled. All I can do, is be a friend. Lots of Prayers. Painful to be part of.

  37. Comment by George Orwell on July 24, 2014 1:59 am

    He H8s TFG, but can’t vote GOPe

    And in a nutshell, you have the manifestation of what Francis Cianfrocca said about the GOP in the Monday Coffee and Markets podcast: the Democrats are widely hated and their supporters are ready for a fresh face… However the GOP will be utterly incapable of profiting from it because the Left has done an irreversible job of demonizing Republicans. They will never win another presidency.

  38. Comment by osoloco11 on July 24, 2014 2:09 am

    Yep. Most of my gay friends are very conservative. Until it comes to gay marriage. Single issue voters. They know how I feel about the Hell Express. They know that I’m the conductor. They still vote for D-rats.

  39. Comment by osoloco11 on July 24, 2014 2:11 am

    GO, as long as they waste their vote for Gary Johnson, I’m chill.

  40. Comment by osoloco11 on July 24, 2014 2:15 am

    My boss has a delicate situation. Her Dad is dying. He has a great gun collection. I’m pushing the kayak incident on the Rio Grande. She is squabbling with siblings over guns. Really needs to be solved before her Dad gets declared incompetent.

  41. Comment by osoloco11 on July 24, 2014 2:18 am

    OMGY get your spread sheets ready!!! See also “Scaring the Dogs” and “You wonder why my wiener’s are fat”

  42. Comment by George Orwell on July 24, 2014 2:21 am

    See also “Scaring the Dogs” and “You wonder why my wiener’s are fat”

    Not even touching that. Won’t look at that except in a mirror through sunglasses.

  43. Comment by osoloco11 on July 24, 2014 2:23 am

    Hahaha

  44. Comment by TexasJew on July 24, 2014 2:37 am

    Up in Denver for a geology conference
    Forgot how wonderful and kinda weird Denver is

  45. Comment by xbradtc on July 24, 2014 3:04 am

    That’s the lack of oxygen at altitude at work, TJ.

  46. Comment by Rosetta on July 24, 2014 3:14 am

    I got my shirt today too!!

    I’m looking forward to hanging out at the 10,000 sq ft mansion that Cyn is buying thanks to the upcharge and ridiculous shipping fees she’s getting on this Cafe-PressMyNuts swag.

    I rip off old ladies with super-high fee annuities for a living and I don’t make anywhere near that commission.

    Probably the fact you used one of my list rants means you can charge exorbitant prices.

    I’LL SEE YOU IN PEOPLES’ COURT, HOE-MONKEY!!!

  47. Comment by Rosetta on July 24, 2014 3:17 am

    Just kidding butt-cheeks. The shirt is awesome.

    I even bought the yellow spaghetti-top for Floyd.

    He hates you.

  48. Comment by xbradtc on July 24, 2014 3:40 am

    I didn’t realize the shirts came in XXXtra Gay.

  49. Comment by Rosetta on July 24, 2014 3:46 am

    I’m pretty sure you’ll go to hell if you laugh at this. Actually you’re going to hell anyway so who cares.

    Sometimes I wake up in the morning with “do you want to build a snowman” ringing in my brain. GAH!!

    Henry is lucky he kicks ass.

  50. Comment by Rosetta on July 24, 2014 3:57 am

    Xbrad, you’re buying me drinks all TITS weekend for me putting up with your thread-killing all these years.

    You better bring about $17,000. I may want some hot wings too.

  51. Comment by xbradtc on July 24, 2014 4:00 am

    You’re on your own. I’m buying all of Henry’s drinks.

  52. Comment by Sean M. on July 24, 2014 4:02 am

    Oh where are you now
    pussy willow that smiled on this leaf?
    When I was alone you promised the stone from your heart
    my derp kissed the ground
    I was half the way down, treading the sand
    please, please, lift a hand
    I’m only a person whose armbands beat
    on his hands, hang tall
    won’t you miss me?
    Wouldn’t you miss me at all?

  53. Comment by Rosetta on July 24, 2014 4:08 am

    He drinks juice box and Johnnie Walker Blue.

    With one ice cube. If you put more than one in his glass he’ll cry and poop in his pants.

    You’ve been warned.

    G’night punk.

  54. Comment by Rosetta on July 24, 2014 4:10 am

  55. Comment by Sean M. on July 24, 2014 4:34 am

    http://tinyurl.com/krszjdd

    and

  56. Comment by Jay in Ames on July 24, 2014 6:58 am

    So, now we mention a Frozen song every day?

    I’m in.

  57. Comment by Jay in Ames on July 24, 2014 7:52 am

    It’s gonna be funny when Cyn wakes up before the rest of you.

  58. Comment by leoncaruthers on July 24, 2014 8:29 am

    I really gotta sit down and write the full lyrics for “do you want to build a straw man?”

  59. Comment by Car in on July 24, 2014 8:29 am

    wakey wakey

  60. Comment by Colorado Alex on July 24, 2014 9:05 am

    Denver has gotten way too big and full of douchebags from California and New York and Seattle.

  61. Comment by Hotspur on July 24, 2014 9:06 am

    I didn’t get a shirt. :(

  62. Comment by roamingfirehydrant on July 24, 2014 9:09 am

    Good morning. That didn’t take long.

    http://www.businessinsider.com/faa-lifts-ban-israel-travel-2014-7

  63. Comment by Hotspur on July 24, 2014 9:09 am

    Here’s a photo of Carin in her new shirt. Nice tan!

    http://tinyurl.com/m4g6hds

  64. Comment by Car in on July 24, 2014 9:14 am

    Here’s a photo of Carin in her new shirt. Nice tan!

    http://tinyurl.com/m4g6hds

    Hey, the camera adds weight!

  65. Comment by Pupster on July 24, 2014 9:19 am

    How many cameras were pointed at you?

  66. Comment by Cyn on July 24, 2014 9:21 am

    Wow, the shirt came out better than I expected; fantastic job, Mr. Chumpo!!

  67. Comment by Car in on July 24, 2014 9:21 am

    *cries

    *goes eat a doughnut for comfort

    I hate you all

  68. Comment by Car in on July 24, 2014 9:22 am

    i’m BLOATING

  69. Comment by Pupster on July 24, 2014 9:26 am

  70. Comment by Cyn on July 24, 2014 9:27 am

    Oh, and goo morning.

  71. Comment by leoncaruthers on July 24, 2014 9:38 am

    Denver has gotten way too big and full of douchebags from California and New York and Seattle.

    This can emphatically not be said of anywhere in Michigan. Which, to my mind, is a strong point in its favor.

  72. Comment by lauraw on July 24, 2014 9:39 am

    Garminop.

  73. Comment by leoncaruthers on July 24, 2014 9:40 am

    The Virgina office had doughnuts today. Makes it easy to resist them.

  74. Comment by Jimbro on July 24, 2014 9:44 am

    I hate Virginia doughnuts

  75. Comment by Hotspur on July 24, 2014 9:54 am

    I like Vagina donuts.

  76. Comment by Hotspur on July 24, 2014 9:57 am

    Happy birthday, Patty Ann. We miss you.

  77. Comment by Jay in Ames on July 24, 2014 10:13 am

    Dammit hotspur, quit releasing dust in the room

  78. Comment by Jay in Ames on July 24, 2014 10:13 am

    Happy Birthday, PA!

  79. Comment by leoncaruthers on July 24, 2014 10:15 am

    I’m sorry I never got to know her. I was late to the H1.

  80. Comment by Hotspur on July 24, 2014 10:24 am

    My daughter posts on FB: “One child dying per hour in Gaza. Unacceptable.”

    I think I’ll just let it ride. She’s on vacation.

  81. Comment by leoncaruthers on July 24, 2014 10:26 am

    “Tell Hamas to stop hiding behind them.”

  82. Comment by Car in on July 24, 2014 10:43 am

    Possible responses to Hotdaughter:

    1) how about the 170,000 dead in Syria over the last three years?

  83. Comment by Car in on July 24, 2014 10:44 am

    2) Tell Hamas to stop putting their rocket launchers in UN schools

  84. Comment by Car in on July 24, 2014 10:45 am

    3) Any concern for the last remaining 3000 Christians in mosul who were forced out of their homes, abandoning their businesses with only the clothes on their back?

  85. Comment by Hotspur on July 24, 2014 10:47 am

    I know, I know.

    She’s a hopeless leftard, but I still love her to death.

  86. Comment by Teresa in Fort Worth, TX on July 24, 2014 10:48 am

    “3,000 babies aborted each day in the US. Unacceptable.”

  87. Comment by Cyn on July 24, 2014 10:55 am

    TiF… is this what you had in mind? Great suggestion! Thanks!!

    http://www.cafepress.com/theh2.1335277319

  88. Comment by Jay in Ames on July 24, 2014 10:55 am

    Excellent responses, everyone

    We should flood twitter

  89. Comment by Teresa in Fort Worth, TX on July 24, 2014 10:56 am

    Oooooh…..perfect! Thanks, luv!

  90. Comment by Cyn on July 24, 2014 10:58 am

    This version does NOT have The List on the back.

    Let me know if I should Large Logo the Dark Shirt with The List on the back and it shall be done.

  91. Comment by Jay in Ames on July 24, 2014 10:59 am

    Saw some of those interviews with the Christians in Mosul. Heartbreaking.

    ISIS needs a black eye. I hope the Iraqi army is up to it, but I’m not confident in that. They are probably involved.

  92. Comment by Jewstin on July 24, 2014 11:00 am

    Aw. Happy birthday Patty Ann.

  93. Comment by leoncaruthers on July 24, 2014 11:01 am

    The Kurds might do it.

  94. Comment by Michael on July 24, 2014 11:01 am

    Something like half the population of the Gaza strip is children. They have no future. There are no jobs waiting for them. The economy is an artificial construct based on foreign aid, which is based on their bogus status as “refugees.,” Of course Hamas views the children as an asset that is disposable for propaganda purposes.

  95. Comment by Teresa in Fort Worth, TX on July 24, 2014 11:01 am

    2 T-Shirts ordered – thanks again, darlin’!

  96. Comment by Teresa in Fort Worth, TX on July 24, 2014 11:03 am

    The economy is an artificial construct based on foreign aid, which is based on their bogus status as “refugees.,”

    Well, Obama just sent them more money because he hates Jews Israel, so there’s that…..

  97. Comment by leoncaruthers on July 24, 2014 11:07 am

    The best chance any Palestinian child has is becoming an Israeli citizen.

  98. Comment by Car in on July 24, 2014 11:10 am

    know, I know.

    She’s a hopeless leftard, but I still love her to death.

    It’s just sad to see them so hopeless indoctrinated. Concern detached from logic and reason.

  99. Comment by Car in on July 24, 2014 11:16 am

    Reminds me of this bit from “as good as it gets” – appply it to liberals:

    Receptionist asks: How do you write women so well?,

    Nicholson’s character responds,” I think of a man and I take away reason and accountability”

  100. Comment by xbradtc on July 24, 2014 11:18 am

    http://legalinsurrection.com/2014/07/medal-of-honor-recipient-rings-bell-at-nyse-and-then-breaks-the-gavel/

  101. Comment by Cyn on July 24, 2014 11:19 am

    Easy Peasy, TiF; you’re most welcome!

  102. Comment by Colorado Alex on July 24, 2014 11:24 am

    Comment by Car in on July 24, 2014 9:22 am

    i’m BLOATING

    You’re probably pregnant.

  103. Comment by Jay in Ames on July 24, 2014 11:28 am

    This isn’t PJM, maybe it’s just gas.

  104. Comment by Hotspur on July 24, 2014 11:29 am

    We had a fairly terse conversation at Christmas dinner about recycling.

    Heh.

  105. Comment by Hotspur on July 24, 2014 11:30 am

    Nice job on the header.

  106. Comment by Teresa in Fort Worth, TX on July 24, 2014 11:39 am

    This is GOOD:

    http://blogs.timesofisrael.com/shalom-motherfr/

    Don’t know if HS’s daughter would appreciate it, though…..

  107. Comment by wiserbud on July 24, 2014 11:42 am

    Hey everybody! Do you know what day it is???

    IT’S NATIONAL TEQUILA DAY!!!!!

  108. Comment by xbradtc on July 24, 2014 11:48 am

    Well, post a pic of Tequila. We haven’t seen that pooch in a while.

  109. Comment by wiserbud on July 24, 2014 11:50 am

    One Tequila
    Two Tequilas
    Three Tequilas
    Floor

  110. Comment by Car in on July 24, 2014 11:52 am

    I picked the correct running route yesterday.

    this happened on one of my other routes yesterday, a few hours after my run.

  111. Comment by wiserbud on July 24, 2014 11:54 am

    So, if you had a day named after you, how would you spend it?

    http://wp.me/ab9T5-aK5

  112. Comment by wiserbud on July 24, 2014 12:01 pm

    Strangest cover ever. Doesn’t sound anything like the original.

    (NSFW for explicit lyrics)

  113. Comment by Tushar on July 24, 2014 12:12 pm

    Here is the equation:
    1 Israeli life equals 1000 Palestini lives.

    Hamas created the equation when they demanded and got the release of 1000 Hamas members in return for Gilad Shalit.

    Israel has lost 33 people so far. By Hamas’s equation, a death toll of 33,000 Palestinians would mean balanced casualities on the two sides. So far, only 500-600 Palestinians have died. I think a lot more Palestinians need to die to restore balance.

  114. Comment by George Orwell on July 24, 2014 12:20 pm

    http://blogs.timesofisrael.com/shalom-motherfr/

    My only editorial change would be to spell out “motherfucker.”

  115. Comment by George Orwell on July 24, 2014 12:25 pm

    Hah. The Free Beacon:

    New video evidence suggests that elderly homeowner Hillary Clinton has still not been clear[ed] to operate a motor vehicle following her scary fall in December 2012. The following clip was taken as the former child rapist defender was leaving a Clinton Foundation event in Oakland, California…

    Clinton was reportedly launching a new “baby talking” campaign with the help of Jim Steyer, the older, poorer brother of environmentalist billionaire Tom Steyer. Longtime adviser and Weiner spouse Huma Abedin appears to be accompanying Clinton in the five-car motorcade.

    So Cankles is still getting Weiner’s sloppy seconds, I guess.

  116. Comment by wiserbud on July 24, 2014 12:27 pm

    My only editorial change would be to spell out “motherfucker.”

    $100 says that the stupid fuck that Eitan un-friended has a “Coexist” bumpersticker on his Prius.

  117. Comment by George Orwell on July 24, 2014 12:35 pm

    Another $100 says Facechimp Jew-hating fuck spends precisely zero time posting about the predations of just about any Arab terrorist group that blows up pizza parlors or churches or mosques or bazaars. Additional bet of $50 says Facechimp fuck has never uttered a peep about Iran’s persecution of gays.

  118. Comment by Jimbro on July 24, 2014 12:47 pm

    Glad you avoided dog trouble Car in. You may have fended off one dog but two or more dogs is a pack and they’re not letting up until, well, that story tells it all.

  119. Comment by Jay in Ames on July 24, 2014 12:51 pm

    Shalom M’fer is one of the best articles I’ve read in a long time. Well done!

  120. Comment by Jay in Ames on July 24, 2014 12:52 pm

    Scary stuff, Car in! Are you carrying id with you on your runs? Maybe a tattoo?

  121. Comment by George Orwell on July 24, 2014 12:54 pm

    Thank Gaia Licorice Dick is sending another $47 million of our money to those special snowflakes running Gaza. For humanitarian aid of course, which under the Palestinian authorities means fresh rockets and explosives. Those new tunnels won’t build themselves.

    Thanks, Barry!

  122. Comment by George Orwell on July 24, 2014 12:56 pm

    When Rick Perry goes running, dogs wear Kevlar sweaters.

  123. Comment by George Orwell on July 24, 2014 12:57 pm

    Are you carrying id with you on your runs? Maybe a tattoo?

  124. Comment by Pupster on July 24, 2014 12:57 pm

    I picked the correct running route yesterday.

    That’s scary as hell.

  125. Comment by Hotspur on July 24, 2014 12:59 pm

    Black Jesus has to send Gaza money, otherwise there will be a cease fire.

  126. Comment by leoncaruthers on July 24, 2014 1:08 pm

    Yeah, Heaven forfend that Hamas should run out of logistical support and consider ending hostilities for economic reasons*.

    *historically this is when people stop fighting

  127. Comment by Jay in Ames on July 24, 2014 1:17 pm

    Can’t believe we are sending money. To the enemy of our ally, Israel.

    Well, our enemy too, but we don’t seem to be classifying them very well lately.

  128. Comment by Cyn on July 24, 2014 1:19 pm

    Nothing has been classified correctly since about, oooohhh, Jan ’09.

  129. Comment by Hotspur on July 24, 2014 1:22 pm

    I classify this place as a shithole dump.

    How’s that?

  130. Comment by Cyn on July 24, 2014 1:25 pm

    Nailed it.

  131. Comment by Car in on July 24, 2014 1:33 pm

    Scary stuff, Car in! Are you carrying id with you on your runs? Maybe a tattoo?

    I hate you long time!

    no id, but I will be picking up some pepper spray before my next run.

    Or I could just go with the odds. What are the chances ANOTHER runner gets killed in Lapeer county by dogs?

  132. Comment by Car in on July 24, 2014 1:34 pm

    The scary thing is that I do run that route. RIGHT down that street, past where it happened. A friend of mine lives near and was walking her dog and got chased by two dogs. I haven’t spoken to her yet to determine if she thinks they were the same dogs.

  133. Comment by Car in on July 24, 2014 1:35 pm

    no motivation

  134. Comment by Hotspur on July 24, 2014 1:40 pm

    L-R

    Cyn – Hotspur

    Ooopsie…

    http://tinyurl.com/m4g6hds

  135. Comment by Car in on July 24, 2014 1:45 pm

    OH RIGHT. coffee.

    I can simply have more coffee.

  136. Comment by Pupster on July 24, 2014 1:48 pm

  137. Comment by Hotspur on July 24, 2014 1:54 pm

    Well, that didn’t work.

  138. Comment by Car in on July 24, 2014 1:55 pm

    Ut oh. Dog head on foot. Day is shot.

  139. Comment by xbradtc on July 24, 2014 1:59 pm

    Can someone please push this POS down, so my phone doesn’t get 500 notifications?

  140. Comment by Hotspur on July 24, 2014 2:00 pm

    No.

  141. Comment by Pupster on July 24, 2014 2:01 pm

    Hi Brad.

  142. Comment by Pupster on July 24, 2014 2:01 pm

    Hello Brad.

  143. Comment by Pupster on July 24, 2014 2:01 pm

    Sup Bradster.

  144. Comment by Car in on July 24, 2014 2:06 pm

    I would, Brad, but I have a dog head on my foot …

  145. Comment by Jay in Ames on July 24, 2014 2:13 pm

    xbrad! sup!

  146. Comment by Jay in Ames on July 24, 2014 2:15 pm

    Just poat another one, xbrad. That’ll stop the notifications on the first one.

  147. Comment by xbradtc on July 24, 2014 2:16 pm

    C’mere, Pupster!

    http://tinyurl.com/kuwemkx

  148. Comment by xbradtc on July 24, 2014 2:21 pm

    Wiser, or one of you other p-shoppers. Can you paste this:

    http://tinyurl.com/o78repy

    Into this:

    http://tinyurl.com/qby8dgv

    For the perfect description of Obama’s space program.

  149. Comment by George Orwell on July 24, 2014 2:33 pm

    Ok, xbrad. If you insist.

  150. Comment by George Orwell on July 24, 2014 2:35 pm

    Washington (CNN) – It worked.

    That is the argument former Secretary of State Hillary Clinton made during a Thursday interview about her much talked about 2009 reset of U.S.-Russia relations.

    The statement comes as Russia, under President Vladimir Putin, has distanced itself from the United States, and the country is widely seen by U.S. and European analysts as linked to the downing of a passenger airliner earlier this month in Ukraine.

    Yet millions will vote for this delusional, vainglorious cunt.

  151. Comment by xbradtc on July 24, 2014 2:43 pm

    Thanks, GO.

  152. Comment by xbradtc on July 24, 2014 2:43 pm

    I guess that makes it the Opollo program.

  153. Comment by George Orwell on July 24, 2014 2:45 pm

    I guess that makes it the Opollo program.

    Opollo Loco.

  154. Comment by Hotspur on July 24, 2014 2:51 pm

    Opo lol o

  155. Comment by osoloco11 on July 24, 2014 3:01 pm

    Love the header. HBD Patty Ann.

  156. Comment by Hotspur on July 24, 2014 3:22 pm

    So, has Obama gone full muslim, or does he still have his clitoris intact?

  157. Comment by Teresa in Fort Worth, TX on July 24, 2014 3:26 pm

    Meanwhile, back on the “Watch what the other hand is doing” front:

    http://freebeacon.com/politics/white-house-fights-to-keep-shirley-sherrod-emails-secret/

    Gee, I wonder if they mention “Pigford” in a couple or 300 e-mails? Can’t have that little graft project brought into the light, now, can we?

  158. Comment by lauraw on July 24, 2014 3:30 pm

    I’ve heard a squirt of ammonia from a water bottle or spray bottle works well against dog attacks.

    Just uh, be careful about which bottle you swig from.

  159. Comment by Jay in Ames on July 24, 2014 3:53 pm

    Mmmm, refreshing Windex!

  160. Comment by Tushar on July 24, 2014 4:00 pm

    **sprays some ammonia on Pupster**

  161. Comment by leoncaruthers on July 24, 2014 4:03 pm

    One of those things we no longer learn as children is how to fight animals if the need arises.

  162. Comment by Hotspur on July 24, 2014 4:06 pm

    Maybe the guy was just asking for it.

  163. Comment by Jay in Ames on July 24, 2014 4:06 pm

    leon grew up in interesting times.

  164. Comment by osoloco11 on July 24, 2014 4:13 pm

    Why do old people keep their homes so hot? I’m dying here!!!! Yay, Dan just got back with his Mom from the rehab facility.

  165. Comment by leoncaruthers on July 24, 2014 4:13 pm

    There were some scary dogs in my neighborhood.

  166. Comment by Hotspur on July 24, 2014 4:14 pm

    Does Obamacare cover FGM?

  167. Comment by Car in on July 24, 2014 4:18 pm

    One dog I could try to fight. Two? And they were Bull Mastiffs.

  168. Comment by Hotspur on July 24, 2014 4:23 pm

    I have a friend who breeds bull mastiffs. The breed was developed to protect lords’ estates in England. Essentially they instinctively get between a runners legs and trip him, then get his throat in a vice grip with their muzzle. If you don’t try to fight them off, they will just hold you there. The idea was, to hold the poacher there until the lord showed up with the sheriff.

    I bet the guy tried to fight them off not knowing how they are wired.

  169. Comment by Hotspur on July 24, 2014 4:25 pm

    Or maybe he was just axing for it.

  170. Comment by Car in on July 24, 2014 4:25 pm

    Well, who knows if the dog still had the “hold ’em there” mentality.

    How long would you let a Bull Mastiff hold you there?

  171. Comment by Hotspur on July 24, 2014 4:28 pm

    After I shit and pissed my pants he would probably leave because of the stink.

  172. Comment by Car in on July 24, 2014 4:31 pm

    ^that’s about right.

  173. Comment by Hotspur on July 24, 2014 4:36 pm

    Fending off rapists, fending off bull mastiffs – same technique.

  174. Comment by Jimbro on July 24, 2014 4:47 pm

    Shitting and pissing yourself is an approved anti rape tactic

  175. Comment by Jimbro on July 24, 2014 4:48 pm

    Heh, I read Hotspur as fending off rabbits. Probably fends off Rabbis too.

  176. Comment by Hotspur on July 24, 2014 4:50 pm

    Everybody knows you fend off rabbis by throwing bacon bits on them.

  177. Comment by Pupster on July 24, 2014 4:53 pm

    Bull Mastiffs take by force. It’s all they want or understand. If I were you, I’d grow eyes in the back of my head.

  178. Comment by PepeLp on July 24, 2014 5:00 pm

    Yeah, I wouldn’t bet on the squirt bottle thing. A forest service guy was riding his bike in Magdalenaville and a dog ran up to him barking. He stopped and squirted it. As soon as the ammonia hit it, it launched and nailed the guy.

  179. Comment by xbradtc on July 24, 2014 5:20 pm

    Try squirting it with a .45.

  180. Comment by Hotspur on July 24, 2014 5:22 pm

    That’ll work.

  181. Comment by scott on July 24, 2014 5:24 pm

    You need a taser.

  182. Comment by wiserbud on July 24, 2014 5:31 pm

    you should pee on yourself.

    That should keep the dogs at bay.

  183. Comment by Hotspur on July 24, 2014 5:43 pm

    Pee on yourself then taser yourself.

  184. Comment by wiserbud on July 24, 2014 5:47 pm

    Pee on yourself then taser yourself.

    But be sure to video the entire thing so… ummm… so…

    so you have something to show the lawyers when you sue the owners.

    Yeah… that’s a good reason, right?

  185. Comment by Colorado Alex on July 24, 2014 5:52 pm

    One of those things we no longer learn as children is how to fight animals if the need arises.

    A coworker and I were discussing this earlier. It’s not just how to fight but how to treat any animal. People don’t train their dogs, and they often treat other people’s animals as friendly or passive, even to the point of harrassing them.

  186. Comment by osoloco11 on July 24, 2014 5:56 pm

    Hey Wiser, I want to see the TFG picture of TFG holding a TFG bobble-head, but with your TheBearIsLoose PS skillz

  187. Comment by wiserbud on July 24, 2014 5:59 pm

    Hey Wiser, I want to see the TFG picture of TFG holding a TFG bobble-head, but with your TheBearIsLoose PS skillz

    I’ve been thinking about how I was gonna do that. could be difficult.

  188. Comment by lauraw on July 24, 2014 6:01 pm

    Health News Flash: Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder causes academic fraud.

    Media News Flash: The media indicts self by not rolling on the floor laughing at this whopper.

  189. Comment by xbradtc on July 24, 2014 6:02 pm

    TITS is coming! (Sean gets a pass)

    http://tinyurl.com/l5uxlxt

  190. Comment by osoloco11 on July 24, 2014 6:24 pm

    Wiser, you can do it!!!! Happy Gilmore’d/

  191. Comment by osoloco11 on July 24, 2014 6:25 pm

    lauraw, Democratium gets a pass in 3…2…

  192. Comment by osoloco11 on July 24, 2014 6:38 pm

    I have a foul mouth. Whatev. We’re coming home from Dan’s parents’ and Dan’s Dr calls to reschedule his appointment. Dan is on speaker and a car rolls past a stop sign on my side of the car…I use the C word. My favorite. Yeah….speaker. Awkward.

  193. Comment by lauraw on July 24, 2014 6:39 pm

    Mmmmm farmstand-fresh ‘Butter and Sugar’ sweet corn hot off the grill.

    Good impulse buy today.

  194. Comment by osoloco11 on July 24, 2014 6:48 pm

    You guys have good corn? Ours is expensive and little. Waiting for Moriarty corn to see if it is good this year.

  195. Comment by xbradtc on July 24, 2014 6:50 pm

    http://tinyurl.com/khfua86

  196. Comment by lauraw on July 24, 2014 6:50 pm

    Connecticut River Valley grown sweet corn is pretty dang awesome.

    Butter and Sugar is more ‘corny’ and less cloyingly sweet than Silver Queen, and I was glad to see that was what they were offering today.

    I’m going to turn the leftovers into corn chowder next week.

  197. Comment by osoloco11 on July 24, 2014 6:59 pm

    Mmmm…corn. Dan makes a really good corn salad.

  198. Comment by osoloco11 on July 24, 2014 7:01 pm

    I’m the Bubba Gump of corn. I love it.

  199. Comment by leoncaruthers on July 24, 2014 7:05 pm

    I’m like that with beef.

  200. Comment by scott on July 24, 2014 7:07 pm

    Beef salad,

  201. Comment by leoncaruthers on July 24, 2014 7:09 pm

    Currently eating beef stew.

  202. Comment by xbradtc on July 24, 2014 7:09 pm

    Hold the salad.

  203. Comment by scott on July 24, 2014 7:10 pm

    http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=l_T8OtRTwBs

  204. Comment by lauraw on July 24, 2014 7:11 pm

    Bunny on lawn outside garden. Placidly munching on lawn clover.

    If Scott makes it a head shot I’m going to try my hand at dressing it. Gotta learn sometime.

  205. Comment by leoncaruthers on July 24, 2014 7:12 pm

    There are guides on youtube, Laura.

  206. Comment by Hotspur on July 24, 2014 7:13 pm

    Corn hole.

  207. Comment by Jimbro on July 24, 2014 7:14 pm

    Eat the heart while it’s still warm. It will give you the wisdom of the rabbit.

  208. Comment by leoncaruthers on July 24, 2014 7:14 pm

    It got shot in the head, how wise is it?

  209. Comment by Jimbro on July 24, 2014 7:15 pm

    But not the Rabbi

  210. Comment by Mr Chumpo on July 24, 2014 7:23 pm

    Wunderkind! Top O the Eve.

  211. Comment by Mr Chumpo on July 24, 2014 7:25 pm

    *lights a Bday candle fir PA*

    Sweet girl.

  212. Comment by leoncaruthers on July 24, 2014 7:33 pm

    Anyone need a recipe for headcheese?

  213. Comment by osoloco11 on July 24, 2014 7:36 pm

    I love playing corn hole. Kick ass.

  214. Comment by scott on July 24, 2014 7:36 pm

    I did my part.

  215. Comment by leoncaruthers on July 24, 2014 7:37 pm

    I love playing corn hole.

    How YOU doin’?

  216. Comment by leoncaruthers on July 24, 2014 7:37 pm

    I did my part.

    I’m now picturing Laura with a dead bunny and a knife watching youtube and wincing.

  217. Comment by Pupster on July 24, 2014 7:40 pm

    Hey Oso, did you see this? http://i.imgur.com/XvWIwD7.jpg

    Mexican Nativity Scene

  218. Comment by Car in on July 24, 2014 7:41 pm

    Crackfat almost killed me today, but at least there were no dogs attacking, so I’m giving it a thumbs up.

  219. Comment by The Great Satan's Ghost on July 24, 2014 7:42 pm

    Ahhh I too miss Patty Ann. Happy Birthday you wonderful woman.

  220. Comment by scott on July 24, 2014 7:43 pm

    She did good.

  221. Comment by daveintexas on July 24, 2014 7:47 pm

    >> If Scott makes it a head shot I’m going to try my hand at dressing it. Gotta learn sometime.

    Batter and fry. Pro-tip, put a little mustard in the batter. Takes out the gamey taste.

  222. Comment by osoloco11 on July 24, 2014 7:50 pm

    Pups, I saw that. I’ve been having a Bort moment about those fucking cans. I can’t remember when “Connie” fell off the truck stop cheap ass souvenir cart, but Dan never lets me forget that it happened. BTW 2 of our new cashiers are named Maygan and Sindie. I bet they get fucking Coke cans!!!!

  223. Comment by Mr Chumpo on July 24, 2014 8:01 pm

    Mmmm. Mustard in the batter.

    thanks DiT.

  224. Comment by scott on July 24, 2014 8:02 pm

    It should be delicious, it’s been living in the garden.

  225. Comment by Sean M. on July 24, 2014 8:02 pm

    Did anybody dance around the studio like a jackass when Maury revealed they weren’t anybody else’s baby daddy today?

  226. Comment by MJ on July 24, 2014 8:08 pm

    I just finished two days of acting classes.

    I have new found respect for actors.

  227. Comment by leoncaruthers on July 24, 2014 8:10 pm

    I have new found respect for actors.

    It’ll pass.

  228. Comment by xbradtc on July 24, 2014 8:13 pm

    Gay porn has acting classes?

  229. Comment by Sean M. on July 24, 2014 8:14 pm

    I just finished two days of acting classes.

    Was the puppetry class full, or had they been warned about you ahead of time?

  230. Comment by lauraw on July 24, 2014 8:16 pm

    I have watched those videos before, but this is the first time I ever followed through. That was ridiculously easy.

    It was mildly difficult getting started, because it was a neck shot and it looked like the little guy was suffering. I wanted to make sure I didn’t get started on him too soon so I wrung him to be sure he was out. After that, so easy.

    Wow! There’s a delicious spring bunny in my fridge!

  231. Comment by Jay in Ames on July 24, 2014 8:20 pm

    Glenn Close wept.

  232. Comment by MJ on July 24, 2014 8:22 pm

    Is it gay porn if she has a penis?

    Xbrad?

  233. Comment by osoloco11 on July 24, 2014 8:22 pm

    MJ, one of my college roomies was a Dance Major. AKA BFA. Had to take lots of acting classes. And lighting. And music. Respect. Mostly, because I could never let that kind of honesty just hang out there. Ghey

  234. Comment by Mr Chumpo on July 24, 2014 8:23 pm

    Awesome MJ. I like acting as well and I’m sure a two day class is fun.
    Break a Leg.
    I’m remodeling a high school theater and I have to walk through the theater classroom periodically. The students are out for summer of course, but the murmur of their practice echoes there.

    Installing a in a new theater rigging system.

  235. Comment by MJ on July 24, 2014 8:26 pm

    *promotes Chumpo and Oso to kick ass mother fucker status

  236. Comment by Mr Chumpo on July 24, 2014 8:26 pm

    Go Double Ewes.

    That Viking Movie gave you a steady hand.

  237. Comment by bcochran81 on July 24, 2014 8:27 pm

    Shalom, motherfuckers.

  238. Comment by Mr Chumpo on July 24, 2014 8:27 pm

    Jay, how many indians?

  239. Comment by leoncaruthers on July 24, 2014 8:29 pm

    Shalom, fellow goyim.

  240. Comment by osoloco11 on July 24, 2014 8:29 pm

    Shalom, bcoch!!!

  241. Comment by bcochran81 on July 24, 2014 8:30 pm

    Been too long since I’ve “seen” you fuckers. How goes it? I miss anything important? MJ finally come out of the closet?

  242. Comment by osoloco11 on July 24, 2014 8:31 pm

    Really hard to fake it in acting class. Not models posing and looking pretty, but ACTING!!!! (Does the Jon Lovitz ‘ACTING’ flourish)

  243. Comment by MJ on July 24, 2014 8:33 pm

    Alas, poor faggots,
    I knew ye well.

  244. Comment by osoloco11 on July 24, 2014 8:34 pm

    50 Shades trailer is yum. PA would’ve approved. She introduced me to CDAN.

  245. Comment by Jay in Ames on July 24, 2014 8:35 pm

    0 indians, chumpo. I’m lame during the week.

  246. Comment by osoloco11 on July 24, 2014 8:36 pm

    Saw the monkey movie, finally!!! Stupid Dan getting a mild concussion. Stupid FiL breaking his hip. It is a total hippie/socialistic nag fest with apes. I DON’T CARE. LOVED IT.

  247. Comment by scott on July 24, 2014 8:37 pm

    Tartlet? Tartlet?

  248. Comment by scott on July 24, 2014 8:40 pm

    http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=WjzyAHKYJ8M

  249. Comment by osoloco11 on July 24, 2014 8:42 pm

    Hahaha Scott.

  250. Comment by Mr Chumpo on July 24, 2014 8:42 pm

    Your not lame. Yer an early riser.

  251. Comment by xbradtc on July 24, 2014 8:44 pm

    MJ:

    http://tinyurl.com/ph7ohe2

  252. Comment by George Orwell on July 24, 2014 8:47 pm

    J’ames gets a new toy

  253. Comment by osoloco11 on July 24, 2014 8:49 pm

    Dr Zeus Dr Zeus

  254. Comment by George Orwell on July 24, 2014 8:49 pm

    Or maybe I’m confusing J’ames with Oso. All this poating has me confused.

  255. Comment by George Orwell on July 24, 2014 8:50 pm

    J’ames and “friend.”

    http://bit.ly/1rAzE5K

  256. Comment by Jimbro on July 24, 2014 8:53 pm

    You’re gonna need a bigger cornhole

  257. Comment by Mr Chumpo on July 24, 2014 8:55 pm

    Which one of you were rocking this song in that Halcyon Summer of1970?

    I begrudge you your awesomeness in advance because I wasn’t there.

    *kicks the dog*

  258. Comment by xbradtc on July 24, 2014 8:55 pm

    It’ll be much bigger when they’re through.

  259. Comment by Mr Chumpo on July 24, 2014 8:55 pm

    sorry.

    http://en.musicplayon.com/play?v=386215

  260. Comment by scott on July 24, 2014 8:55 pm

    MJ, was it hot in that suit?

  261. Comment by beasn on July 24, 2014 8:57 pm

    I saw the trailer for 50 Shades. Dude looks a little too metro for my tastes. If you’re gonna tie me up and spank me, you better look closer to this

    No, I have not read the book.

  262. Comment by MJ on July 24, 2014 8:59 pm

    It’s cold in the office so the suit worked out well.

    Fit like a glove.

  263. Comment by scott on July 24, 2014 9:02 pm

    Don’t forget the jazz hands.

    Very important

    http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=xuPSIbABYVU

  264. Comment by xbradtc on July 24, 2014 9:03 pm

    Here’s your feel good story of the day:

    http://bearingarms.com/make-day-concealed-carrier-named-eastwood-captures-five-suspects-officer-goes-chase/

  265. Comment by Jay in Ames on July 24, 2014 9:05 pm

    Don’t mess with rural Iowa. They’ll mess you up!

  266. Comment by Mr Chumpo on July 24, 2014 9:09 pm

    Hal leonard with “Jazzhands” very difficult to view.
    Do Not Attempt.

  267. Comment by Mr Chumpo on July 24, 2014 9:11 pm

    Hal Leonard.

    Hal’s parents shot him out of a cannon, didn’t they?

  268. Comment by lauraw on July 24, 2014 9:16 pm

    what…was….that

  269. Comment by beasn on July 24, 2014 9:16 pm

    We’ve got some nice locally grown sweet corn happening RIGHT NOW. Four for a dollar this week. Bought a bunch. Will cut it off the cob and freeze it.

  270. Comment by osoloco11 on July 24, 2014 9:17 pm

    beasn, the actor is metro, but he has great hands. Totally willing to ignore metro and the ghey, just for those hands. Squeeeee

  271. Comment by osoloco11 on July 24, 2014 9:18 pm

    4 for a 1$? I will kill you!!! Even our crappy corn is .60$ an ear.

  272. Comment by Mr Chumpo on July 24, 2014 9:19 pm

    “Who’s steppin’ to Hal Leonard?!!

    “That’s what I thought.”

    *Hal leonard, smoldering, get’s back int his Prussian Bleu Smart Car and chirps the tires. We all back off.”

  273. Comment by scott on July 24, 2014 9:21 pm

    We paid .65 an ear.

  274. Comment by osoloco11 on July 24, 2014 9:23 pm

    lauraw said it was yummy. Our corn looks like corn that a pig would say “FU”

  275. Comment by scott on July 24, 2014 9:29 pm

    I’ve seen that corn.

    The hoppers probably ate the good stuff.

  276. Comment by Jay in Ames on July 24, 2014 9:30 pm

    Bout $7 a dozen here

  277. Comment by Jay in Ames on July 24, 2014 9:30 pm

    You should eat the hoppers, get even!

  278. Comment by osoloco11 on July 24, 2014 9:35 pm

    I have few things in life that give me joy. Cheap sweet corn and hot green chile. I’ll let you know how the chile crop turned out next month when we start roasting.

  279. Comment by osoloco11 on July 24, 2014 9:35 pm

    Stupid hoppers.

  280. Comment by bcochran81 on July 24, 2014 9:38 pm

    Huh. I totes didn’t realize that you were a green chile fan, oso. You should be more open about such things.

  281. Comment by scott on July 24, 2014 9:38 pm

    Canned corn is pretty good.

  282. Comment by Mr Chumpo on July 24, 2014 9:39 pm

    And the Sims.

    Pay up sucka.

    http://www.somethingawful.com/news/sims-4-differences/

  283. Comment by Jimbro on July 24, 2014 9:40 pm

    Frozen is better than canned.

    FroCo

  284. Comment by beasn on July 24, 2014 9:41 pm

    A couple of weeks ago, it was five for a dollar. It’s really good too. I scraped two into my meat soup this evening.

    The grocery store’s ads have been all about the locally grown stuff the past few weeks. Corn, tomatoes, green beans, peppers, peaches, etc.

  285. Comment by beasn on July 24, 2014 9:42 pm

    I haven’t eaten canned corn since college.

  286. Comment by beasn on July 24, 2014 9:43 pm

    By fall, we’ll be getting corn that tastes like feed.

  287. Comment by beasn on July 24, 2014 9:45 pm

    Jason Momoa has nice hands. But he’s married to Lisa Bonet, so BOOOO.

    So does Mike Rowe. Nice hands and a cute puppy, what more do you need?

  288. Comment by beasn on July 24, 2014 9:47 pm

    Speaking of which, I have a few ripe tomatoes I need to pick.

  289. Comment by osoloco11 on July 24, 2014 9:47 pm

    Canned corn will do in calabacitas. Not optimal.

  290. Comment by osoloco11 on July 24, 2014 9:49 pm

    I had a major crush on a guys hands in college. He was the surgeon for my inlaws cataract surgery. His hands are still Squeeeee. Dan’s legs may have gone to the chickens, but his hands are still OMG.

  291. Comment by beasn on July 24, 2014 9:49 pm

    Connie, I was tempted to share Rosetta’s Frozen spoof with Fr. Erik. But the f-bomb and the daddy thing was a bit much.

  292. Comment by scott on July 24, 2014 9:50 pm

    I add canned corn to soups.

  293. Comment by beasn on July 24, 2014 9:50 pm

    Oops….

  294. Comment by beasn on July 24, 2014 9:51 pm

    I stock up on frozen corn when it’s on sale for a buck or buck fiddy. 16oz.

  295. Comment by beasn on July 24, 2014 9:52 pm

    2 ears = 15 oz can

  296. Comment by daveintexas on July 24, 2014 9:54 pm

    Do I have to have a t-shirt to go to Arizona?

  297. Comment by osoloco11 on July 24, 2014 9:55 pm

    Beasn, do it. Fr Erik would get it. PJ has gone to Mass at his church!!!

  298. Comment by osoloco11 on July 24, 2014 9:56 pm

    I want to go to Utah just to go to Mass with Fr Erik.

  299. Comment by beasn on July 24, 2014 9:57 pm

    Should I do it on his Frozen thread from today?

  300. Comment by beasn on July 24, 2014 9:58 pm

    Do I have to have a t-shirt to go to Arizona?

    Yes, that is the dress code. T-shirt and nothing else.

  301. Comment by osoloco11 on July 24, 2014 9:59 pm

    Yes. He’s great. He’ll get it.

  302. Comment by xbradtc on July 24, 2014 10:03 pm

    And a lime green thong.

  303. Comment by scott on July 24, 2014 10:03 pm

    Facebook ruins everything.

  304. Comment by Mr Chumpo on July 24, 2014 10:04 pm

    No DiT.
    You can bring the H2 Ove Glove or Torrilla Warmer. I’m getting the Tote.

  305. Comment by Vmaximus on July 24, 2014 10:06 pm

    Bought my tickets to Temp tonight, and rented a Camaro SS convertible. Will rent room tomorrow.

  306. Comment by Vmaximus on July 24, 2014 10:06 pm

    e I forgot an e

  307. Comment by osoloco11 on July 24, 2014 10:09 pm

    Sorry, Scott. Fr Erik and Fr McFadden are great. Who knew that the HQ had Catholic priests lurking. Fr Steve is a Moron, too.

  308. Comment by xbradtc on July 24, 2014 10:14 pm

    DinT, if you *really* wanna be popular, get the TITS flask.

  309. Comment by MCPO Airdale on July 24, 2014 10:14 pm

    We found a bed for the M-i-L in an assisted living facility. Move her in on Monday (if she doesn’t take it on the lam)!

  310. Comment by Cyn on July 24, 2014 10:15 pm

    I’m ordering the men’s boxer shorts and a tube top for TITS.

    Oh, and a hat.

  311. Comment by bcochran81 on July 24, 2014 10:15 pm

    Oh joy. A couple of my old high school buddies’ exgirlfriends are reminiscing on Facebook about the time they set me up on a blind date with their friend. Their annoying friend. Their annoying and unattractive friend.

  312. Comment by MCPO Airdale on July 24, 2014 10:17 pm

    So, did she put out. . . Annoyingly?

  313. Comment by Cyn on July 24, 2014 10:18 pm

    That sounds like it might be a hard deal, Master Chief… is she okay with the move?

  314. Comment by xbradtc on July 24, 2014 10:19 pm

    That’s tough, MCPO. But it’s better than having to worry about her constantly.

  315. Comment by MCPO Airdale on July 24, 2014 10:21 pm

    Cyn – no. Her last morsel of independence is being taken from her and she is reacting like someone with dementia – one day she is okay with it, the next she is throwing a tantrum like a 5 y/o.

  316. Comment by scott on July 24, 2014 10:22 pm

    It’s facebook. I bet she had a dick.

  317. Comment by scott on July 24, 2014 10:23 pm

    That’s really tough, MCPO.

  318. Comment by osoloco11 on July 24, 2014 10:24 pm

    So sorry, Mcpo. Hard enough in town. Prayers for you and Herself.

  319. Comment by Mr Chumpo on July 24, 2014 10:24 pm

    BC, keep yer helmet on and your mouthpiece in.

  320. Comment by osoloco11 on July 24, 2014 10:24 pm

    Hey bcoch, was the friend recently out of person on a manslaughter charge?

  321. Comment by osoloco11 on July 24, 2014 10:25 pm

    Person? FU Autocuke. PRISON. Was the blind date recently out of prison???

  322. Comment by Cyn on July 24, 2014 10:26 pm

    Oh, MCPO, that has got to be heart-wrenching for you two even though you know you’re doing the right thing. {{Hugs}}

  323. Comment by scott on July 24, 2014 10:26 pm

    I bet she had a penis.

  324. Comment by Cyn on July 24, 2014 10:27 pm

    So, did she put out. . . Annoyingly?

  325. Comment by MCPO Airdale on July 24, 2014 10:27 pm

    It is tough on Herself. Poor thing is miserable that she can’t “fix” it all for her mom.

  326. Comment by leoncaruthers on July 24, 2014 10:28 pm

    I’ve had one blind date in life.

    She was 6’1″. Her friends were bitches.

  327. Comment by bcochran81 on July 24, 2014 10:29 pm

    Sorry to hear that Chief.

    I have no idea if she had a penis. Didn’t want to know. Don’t want to know. At the end of the night, when I drove her home, I spent about 5 solid minutes in my truck dodging the good night kiss she clearly wanted.

  328. Comment by osoloco11 on July 24, 2014 10:29 pm

    I hear ya, Mcpo. Prayers for Herself.

  329. Comment by scott on July 24, 2014 10:30 pm

    Laura was a blind date.

  330. Comment by Cyn on July 24, 2014 10:32 pm

    No blind dates for me so far.

  331. Comment by osoloco11 on July 24, 2014 10:33 pm

    lauraw isn’t blind. (Narrows eyes and totes misses the object of the conversation)

  332. Comment by daveintexas on July 24, 2014 10:34 pm

    >> Laura was a blind date.

    I’m glad she healed up.

  333. Comment by bcochran81 on July 24, 2014 10:37 pm

    You guys remember back in in the late 90s when “simulated roller coasters” were a thing? Basically a box with a vid screen that tilted and shook and was supposed to be like you were on an actual coaster.

    Two of my buddies, their girlfriends, this chick and I go out to dinner and then down to this mini golf/go carts/arcade/batting cage place that had one set up. Big deal. Lots of people there.

    It was like $12 bucks a ticket and an hour wait. It’s almost our turn and she goes, “I don’t think I want to do this. I don’t want to get on.”

    “What?!?!”

    “I don’t really like roller coasters. They make me sick.”

    *incredulous look*

    “I paid for tickets. We waited all this time. We’re getting on the ride.”

  334. Comment by osoloco11 on July 24, 2014 10:40 pm

    Ooooo…simulated roller coaster. My blind date started telling me that he just got out of prison for manslaughter.

  335. Comment by bcochran81 on July 24, 2014 10:40 pm

    Ok. You win, oso.

  336. Comment by George Orwell on July 24, 2014 10:41 pm

    I’ve had blind dates. I just close my eyes and wait for the date to end.

  337. Comment by Mr Chumpo on July 24, 2014 10:42 pm

    *Admires BC’s pitch, wonders if I’ll be an owner of a timeshare within the hour.

    So what happened next?

  338. Comment by daveintexas on July 24, 2014 10:42 pm

    >> DinT, if you *really* wanna be popular, get the TITS flask.

    Is there a half gallon size? Cause me and wiser were popular as shit with his bottle of Stoli

  339. Comment by osoloco11 on July 24, 2014 10:44 pm

    I used to tell a funny story about the Manassa Murderer. Then I met a guy who was related to the guy my Blind Date killed. Awkward.

  340. Comment by MCPO Airdale on July 24, 2014 10:44 pm

    I used to just hit on random chicks at the mall. Success rate was about 35%.

  341. Comment by bcochran81 on July 24, 2014 10:45 pm

    So what happened next?

    She agreed to get on the ride…but only if I didn’t choose a crazy sequence. You could choose sections of tracks. Barrel rolls, flips, etc.

    Guess what I did?

  342. Comment by George Orwell on July 24, 2014 10:45 pm

    Was the date simulated as well?

  343. Comment by Mr Chumpo on July 24, 2014 10:46 pm

    Is there a half gallon size?

    heh.

  344. Comment by George Orwell on July 24, 2014 10:46 pm

    I used to just hit on random chicks at the mall. Success rate was about 35%.

    *forwards advice to xbrad*

  345. Comment by bcochran81 on July 24, 2014 10:47 pm

    Unfortunately, GO, no it was not.

    When you’re 16, dropping $70 or so on a date is a lot of damn money. All for nothing.

  346. Comment by Cyn on July 24, 2014 10:48 pm

    *incredulous look*

    “I paid for tickets. We waited all this time. We’re getting on the ride.”

    What. A. Cow.

  347. Comment by osoloco11 on July 24, 2014 10:50 pm

    16? Get off my fucking lawn. (Kicks sand on bcoch and throws a baseball at his head)

  348. Comment by Jewstin on July 24, 2014 10:51 pm

    L to R: Leon, Blind Date

    http://tinyurl.com/moqwzlr

  349. Comment by bcochran81 on July 24, 2014 10:52 pm

    Hey! I’m not that young. Why, as of last week, I haven’t been 16 for over 17 years!

    (and throwing a baseball at a guy who had a baseball scholarship in college probably isn’t a good idea. lol.)

  350. Comment by Cyn on July 24, 2014 10:53 pm

    Guess what I did?

    Deliciously evil. Good call.

  351. Comment by daveintexas on July 24, 2014 10:55 pm

    If you’re 36 you’re closer to 50 than 20.

  352. Comment by bcochran81 on July 24, 2014 10:56 pm

    16 plus 17 is 33, Dave.

  353. Comment by George Orwell on July 24, 2014 10:56 pm

    $70 won’t buy you a ride these days. One that isn’t simulated, anyhow.

  354. Comment by osoloco11 on July 24, 2014 10:56 pm

    I’m Israel. I gave you a warning, and threw the ball anyway. Someday, the JAX Iron Dome will fail…

  355. Comment by George Orwell on July 24, 2014 10:56 pm

    Oh, wait… Roller coasters. Never mind.

  356. Comment by bcochran81 on July 24, 2014 10:57 pm

    But not this day, oso.

  357. Comment by Cyn on July 24, 2014 10:58 pm

    If you’re 36 you’re closer to 50 than 20.

    That’s gonna leave a mark.

  358. Comment by osoloco11 on July 24, 2014 11:00 pm

    Not this day…but SOON!!!

  359. Comment by osoloco11 on July 24, 2014 11:01 pm

    I have a Joe Carter mitt. Damn, I’m old.

  360. Comment by Mr Chumpo on July 24, 2014 11:02 pm

    *hopes BC picks me for H@ annual Softball Slaughter fest and Jaggermister Infusion*

  361. Comment by bcochran81 on July 24, 2014 11:04 pm

    Team ChumpyCock is ready to go! Drink!

  362. Comment by Mr Chumpo on July 24, 2014 11:04 pm

    Hi Kat. meow’s kix?

  363. Comment by leoncaruthers on July 24, 2014 11:05 pm

    L to R: Leon, Blind Date

    Nailed it. She was blonde, too. Legs for days. Married a friend of mine who was also her height. They have 3 kids now.

  364. Comment by Mr Chumpo on July 24, 2014 11:05 pm

    * Glug Glug Glug Glug Glug Glug Glug Glug Glug Glug Glug Glug Glug Glug Glug Glug Glug Glug Glug Glug Glug Glug Glug Glug Glug Glug Glug Glug Glug Glug Glug Glug Glug Glug Glug Glug.

  365. Comment by George Orwell on July 24, 2014 11:06 pm

    A TV show on the supposedly family friendly network ABC Family aired an episode of the show “The Fosters” depicting a lesbian couple getting a late-term abortion.

    I guess sex ed has been a failure.

  366. Comment by Cyn on July 24, 2014 11:07 pm

    Rawr!

  367. Comment by Cyn on July 24, 2014 11:08 pm

    Timing – heh.

  368. Comment by George Orwell on July 24, 2014 11:09 pm

    As they say, Leon, her legs went all the way to the ground.

  369. Comment by Cyn on July 24, 2014 11:10 pm

    Freed your 11:05pm from teh bucket, B-Ho.

  370. Comment by osoloco11 on July 24, 2014 11:11 pm

    G’night guys. Pencil in your spreadsheets. Wink wink nudge nudge.

  371. Comment by Pupster on July 24, 2014 11:12 pm

    Don’t cry little bear.

  372. Comment by leoncaruthers on July 24, 2014 11:15 pm

    depicting a lesbian couple getting a late-term abortion.

    Doing that “lesbian” thing allllllll wrong.

    As they say, Leon, her legs went all the way to the ground.

    Her hips were at my elbows. So yeah.

  373. Comment by George Orwell on July 24, 2014 11:15 pm

    President Obama made an impromptu stop at a Los Angeles diner on Thursday to have lunch with four people who have written him letters.
    But he also had a chance to talk about his hoops game.
    —
    “My shot’s broke,” Obama said, as he held up his arm and did a mock free throw.
    “It’s my elbow,” he continued. “It’s my age. I get the chicken wing.”
    Obama said he makes 8 out of 10 shots, “but not in one game.”

    It’s like the nation decided to give Veruca Salt the nuclear football and the worship of millions. Twice.

  374. Comment by osoloco11 on July 24, 2014 11:16 pm

    Hahaha Pups. Anyone else see the Monkey Movie? Between Dawn and TFG, bears are taking it up the butt.

  375. Comment by Jewstin on July 24, 2014 11:17 pm

    I like how it was ‘impromptu’.

  376. Comment by Mr Chumpo on July 24, 2014 11:18 pm

    Thanx Babe. Thats a first for me to the Buchet.

    I’m frightened.

  377. Comment by George Orwell on July 24, 2014 11:19 pm

    I see the monkey movie every day when the press covers the White House.

    I refuse to denounce myself.

  378. Comment by Cyn on July 24, 2014 11:19 pm

    I like how it was ‘impromptu’.

    ^^ This.

    #SCOAMF

  379. Comment by xbradtc on July 24, 2014 11:20 pm

  380. Comment by Mr Chumpo on July 24, 2014 11:20 pm

    Twice.

    Proud Moments.

  381. Comment by bcochran81 on July 24, 2014 11:21 pm

    Obama said he makes 8 out of 10 shots

    The FUCK he’s ever made 8 of 10. I’ve seen video of that fucker shooting. A one armed midget with Parkinson’s has a better shot than that mom jean wearing shitstain.

  382. Comment by xbradtc on July 24, 2014 11:22 pm

    He confused “take it in the hole” with “take it to the hole.”

  383. Comment by George Orwell on July 24, 2014 11:23 pm

    *hopes everyone knows I meant Veruca Salt from the movie, not the band*

  384. Comment by George Orwell on July 24, 2014 11:24 pm

    “take it in the hole”

    *Reggie Love perks up*

  385. Comment by Cyn on July 24, 2014 11:24 pm

    Thats a first for me to the Buchet.

    Meh, we all make it in there now and again.

  386. Comment by bcochran81 on July 24, 2014 11:26 pm

    Good work, blog mom.

  387. Comment by Mr Chumpo on July 24, 2014 11:29 pm

    Both Verucas are the shiz!

    My Brother was “salting” the Main Veruca in the band for a while. It was after their heyday. I never met her BUT she evidently stole one of my fuchin hats.
    Bastard lil brother.

  388. Comment by George Orwell on July 24, 2014 11:30 pm

    The humanoid sack of feces in the tailored suit oozing animal grease all over the Resolute desk will, upon leaving office, make Jimmy Carter’s retirement look like a vow of silence.

  389. Comment by George Orwell on July 24, 2014 11:34 pm

    Someone must have launched this hashtag already:
    #TheBearIsLooseShit

  390. Comment by xbradtc on July 24, 2014 11:34 pm

    TFG is apparently buying a house down the street from me.

  391. Comment by Mr Chumpo on July 24, 2014 11:34 pm

    Ya never know OG. If he drives his entire party and ideology into the woods for the next 15 years he won’t be too up in your shit.

    Plus he’s a lazy MF’er.

  392. Comment by Mr Chumpo on July 24, 2014 11:35 pm

    …and XB will have him on the close radar.

    Cheer Up.

  393. Comment by George Orwell on July 24, 2014 11:36 pm

    You mean, Xbrad, someone is buying a house for him. The fucker never pays his own way.

  394. Comment by Cyn on July 24, 2014 11:36 pm

    …make Jimmy Carter’s retirement look like a vow of silence.

    I’m gonna party like it’s 1999 when that happens.

  395. Comment by leoncaruthers on July 24, 2014 11:39 pm

    I don’t care where he’s going to live. I need to know where he’ll be buried when he dies. Trying to plan my retirement road trip of “places I need to pee after I don’t give a shit anymore”.

  396. Comment by Mr Chumpo on July 24, 2014 11:43 pm

    Bye Bye, Diamond Dogs.

    I’ll dream.

  397. Comment by George Orwell on July 24, 2014 11:44 pm

    $666 bucks says after the First Mofo finally eats the wormy dirt, there will be an official movement to efface Jefferson from Rushmore and put Licorice Dick in his place.

    At that point the nation will be calling itself The People’s Republic of Meximericanada.

  398. Comment by Cyn on July 24, 2014 11:51 pm

    I wonder what our national flag will look like.

  399. Comment by George Orwell on July 24, 2014 11:55 pm

  400. Comment by Cyn on July 24, 2014 11:58 pm

    Bye Bye, Diamond Dogs.

    I’ll dream.

    Bowie!

  401. Comment by xbradtc on July 25, 2014 12:01 am

    Diamond dogs?

  402. Comment by Cyn on July 25, 2014 12:02 am

    My dog will love that flag as a new cover for his bed.

  403. Comment by George Orwell on July 25, 2014 12:03 am

    I think I once barfed up the colors on the gay flag.

  404. Comment by Jewstin on July 25, 2014 12:04 am

    I think I once barfed up the colors on the gay flag.

    Tequila will do that.

  405. Comment by Cyn on July 25, 2014 12:06 am

    So will gin.

    {{shudders}}

  406. Comment by Cyn on July 25, 2014 12:07 am

  407. Comment by George Orwell on July 25, 2014 12:10 am

    The worst alcohol adventure I ever had? Getting smashed on nearly a whole bottle of Pernod about 30 years ago. Still don’t care for the stuff.

  408. Comment by Cyn on July 25, 2014 12:14 am

    T’was gin and tonic that did me in. Took me forever to tolerate the smell and taste of limes after that. Ugh.

  409. Comment by George Orwell on July 25, 2014 12:16 am

    Fun substitute for limes: kumquats. We have a few on a little bush in the backyard.

  410. Comment by Cyn on July 25, 2014 12:25 am

    …things that sound dirty…

  411. Comment by Cyn on July 25, 2014 12:26 am

    Imma out. G’nighty sweet dreams to all.

  412. Comment by Sean M. on July 25, 2014 4:09 am

    Doctor please, some more of these
    Outside the door, she took four more
    What a derp it is getting old

  413. Comment by Pupster on July 25, 2014 6:28 am

    The new tits are here.


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