Yes, it’s a joyous day indeed. I don’t know about the rest of you crotchsniffers, but *I* got my new T.I.T.S. t-shirt in the mail today.
And Mr. Chumpo’s graphics on the back are pure H2.
Show me your T.I.T.S. in September. I’m really looking forward to it!
July 24, 2014
Categories: American Hero, Mother Fuckin Bootleg, No Drama, personal junk, The Bear Is Loose, The Cat's Pajamas, Your mom likes this . . Author: xbradtc
413 Comments
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The Official Sports Team of The Hostages
04/25/17
I wrote to Hillary Clinton when she was the First Lady. Here is copy…
Dear Mrs. Clinton,
If you’d give President Clinton a blow job once in a while he wouldn’t put a cigar in a ladies (my mommy calls her a whore whatever that is) hooha.
Sincerely,
Mare
Prove I didn’t send that to her.
Get TITS2 & The H2 Stuff
WTFITS?
Don’t let DiT see the period after Dr in Dr Pepper. It makes him cray cray.
Heh discombobulating DiT? NM
TJ, I was just thinking of you. I’m reading some on Apollo, and your buddy Harrison Schmitt. Interesting fellow.
Woman threw her water on the floor “Near me” not “At me” today. I was like WTF? Is it my fault that her kid weighs 200# and the deck box is not intended to be a bench?
If I were to attend, I would insist on adding a rubber fist and pennies. Just saying.
Cyn’s got them just waiting for you, Rich.
*Looks at calendar* Hi, Rich.
Ok, where do I go to order a shirt?
I’ve been trying to shame her on Facechimpdouche.
Shame harder.
Is this t-shirt message available on a g-string or a ball gag?
Go Shop Now on sidebar for tee. Working on PJ in PMs and on her wall on FB.
CoLex, there’s an icon on the upper right with the TITS logo. Click that to go shopping.
FiL was moved to rehab today. MiL is clueless. Dan and I are both off tomorrow. He told Mom we would pick her up at 2 to see Dad. Can you guess how many times she called to see when we were picking her up? Dementia sucks.
That is either a graphic sunburst on the front of the shirt or an abstract representation of a sore rectum.
Either fits H2.
Room reserved. I should have done it a month ago, but I was lazy and now I’ll pay for it with a higher rate.
I’ll order the shirt next month.
By the way, how does Mr. Chumpo know what my mom smells like?
…uh oh.
My boss is a lesbo. The other day, a Member asked us if we had any fresh spices like rosemary or basil. My boss said “No”. I was like “Why didn’t you say we don’t have fresh herbs, either?” My boss: No way in hell I’m telling some mulleted bull dyke that she’s wrong.
Any chance there is a black shirt available with the big sunburst logo on it? Men’s sizes are fine; I like the looser fit.
Don’t think this prudish lady can quite bring herself to wear anything with the word “dildo” on it, though…..
Sorry, Chumpo! It’s a cute design.
mulleted bull dyke
That sounds like a variety of saltwater fish like tarpon.
Wear it as a sleep shirt!!!
I have CHILDREN in my house! I can’t do that, either……
Rebecca is starting to learn how to read much better now; the last thing I need is for her to go to school and teach the other kids how to spell “poontang”…..
GO, she was huge. Looked mean. My boss and I had to go to H8CHKN to pick up food for all of the GMs and DMs. My boss had never been in a H8CHKN until yesterday.
Relax. Just tell the kids poontang is merely orange-flavored poon.
Hmm. Bull Dyke in a H8CHKN. Sounds like trouble in River City.
TiFW, I became the principal’s best friend as a 1st grader. Stephen Riddick called me a “whore” in the 2nd grade. I was like “How do you spell it?” Country of origin?Use it in a sentence. (Someone queue The More you know)
GO, she was very uncomfortable. At the same time, she was marveling at the level of service.
Whore. Noun. A sport. “I like to go whore’s back riding.”
But it’s a Christian school with nothing but kids with Down syndrome – I don’t think the other mommies and daddies would appreciate the new vocabulary word(s).
And you just KNOW that a word like “poontang” would be their favorite word, cuz it sounds so funny……
Srsly, why be uncomfortable? Did the girl taking your boss’s order ask if she wanted to eat chicken or carpet? Of course not.
Lesbos need to put on big boy pants and get over themselves.
HAHAHA He couldn’t even spell it. I figured it out and beat him up in recess. I used to fight a lot in elementary and middle school.
Poontang is how astronauts took poon to the moon.
Think more “fleshlight” on the lunar expeditions, GO…
She only goes to “Gay Friendly” businesses. It is kind of funny that my Lesbo friends with families tend to be very conservative and vote Republican. Like their guns. My gay male friends are apolitical or vote D-rat in spite of their conservatism. One of my gay married guy friends has become such a Libertarian. He H8s TFG, but can’t vote GOPe.
My RL Tranny friends are seriously troubled. All I can do, is be a friend. Lots of Prayers. Painful to be part of.
He H8s TFG, but can’t vote GOPe
And in a nutshell, you have the manifestation of what Francis Cianfrocca said about the GOP in the Monday Coffee and Markets podcast: the Democrats are widely hated and their supporters are ready for a fresh face… However the GOP will be utterly incapable of profiting from it because the Left has done an irreversible job of demonizing Republicans. They will never win another presidency.
Yep. Most of my gay friends are very conservative. Until it comes to gay marriage. Single issue voters. They know how I feel about the Hell Express. They know that I’m the conductor. They still vote for D-rats.
GO, as long as they waste their vote for Gary Johnson, I’m chill.
My boss has a delicate situation. Her Dad is dying. He has a great gun collection. I’m pushing the kayak incident on the Rio Grande. She is squabbling with siblings over guns. Really needs to be solved before her Dad gets declared incompetent.
OMGY get your spread sheets ready!!! See also “Scaring the Dogs” and “You wonder why my wiener’s are fat”
See also “Scaring the Dogs” and “You wonder why my wiener’s are fat”
Not even touching that. Won’t look at that except in a mirror through sunglasses.
Hahaha
Up in Denver for a geology conference
Forgot how wonderful and kinda weird Denver is
That’s the lack of oxygen at altitude at work, TJ.
I got my shirt today too!!
I’m looking forward to hanging out at the 10,000 sq ft mansion that Cyn is buying thanks to the upcharge and ridiculous shipping fees she’s getting on this Cafe-PressMyNuts swag.
I rip off old ladies with super-high fee annuities for a living and I don’t make anywhere near that commission.
Probably the fact you used one of my list rants means you can charge exorbitant prices.
I’LL SEE YOU IN PEOPLES’ COURT, HOE-MONKEY!!!
Just kidding butt-cheeks. The shirt is awesome.
I even bought the yellow spaghetti-top for Floyd.
He hates you.
I didn’t realize the shirts came in XXXtra Gay.
I’m pretty sure you’ll go to hell if you laugh at this. Actually you’re going to hell anyway so who cares.
Sometimes I wake up in the morning with “do you want to build a snowman” ringing in my brain. GAH!!
Henry is lucky he kicks ass.
Xbrad, you’re buying me drinks all TITS weekend for me putting up with your thread-killing all these years.
You better bring about $17,000. I may want some hot wings too.
You’re on your own. I’m buying all of Henry’s drinks.
Oh where are you now
pussy willow that smiled on this leaf?
When I was alone you promised the stone from your heart
my derp kissed the ground
I was half the way down, treading the sand
please, please, lift a hand
I’m only a person whose armbands beat
on his hands, hang tall
won’t you miss me?
Wouldn’t you miss me at all?
He drinks juice box and Johnnie Walker Blue.
With one ice cube. If you put more than one in his glass he’ll cry and poop in his pants.
You’ve been warned.
G’night punk.
http://tinyurl.com/krszjdd
and
So, now we mention a Frozen song every day?
I’m in.
It’s gonna be funny when Cyn wakes up before the rest of you.
I really gotta sit down and write the full lyrics for “do you want to build a straw man?”
wakey wakey
Denver has gotten way too big and full of douchebags from California and New York and Seattle.
I didn’t get a shirt. :(
Good morning. That didn’t take long.
http://www.businessinsider.com/faa-lifts-ban-israel-travel-2014-7
Here’s a photo of Carin in her new shirt. Nice tan!
http://tinyurl.com/m4g6hds
Here’s a photo of Carin in her new shirt. Nice tan!
http://tinyurl.com/m4g6hds
Hey, the camera adds weight!
How many cameras were pointed at you?
Wow, the shirt came out better than I expected; fantastic job, Mr. Chumpo!!
*cries
*goes eat a doughnut for comfort
I hate you all
i’m BLOATING
Oh, and goo morning.
Denver has gotten way too big and full of douchebags from California and New York and Seattle.
This can emphatically not be said of anywhere in Michigan. Which, to my mind, is a strong point in its favor.
Garminop.
The Virgina office had doughnuts today. Makes it easy to resist them.
I hate Virginia doughnuts
I like Vagina donuts.
Happy birthday, Patty Ann. We miss you.
Dammit hotspur, quit releasing dust in the room
Happy Birthday, PA!
I’m sorry I never got to know her. I was late to the H1.
My daughter posts on FB: “One child dying per hour in Gaza. Unacceptable.”
I think I’ll just let it ride. She’s on vacation.
“Tell Hamas to stop hiding behind them.”
Possible responses to Hotdaughter:
1) how about the 170,000 dead in Syria over the last three years?
2) Tell Hamas to stop putting their rocket launchers in UN schools
3) Any concern for the last remaining 3000 Christians in mosul who were forced out of their homes, abandoning their businesses with only the clothes on their back?
I know, I know.
She’s a hopeless leftard, but I still love her to death.
“3,000 babies aborted each day in the US. Unacceptable.”
TiF… is this what you had in mind? Great suggestion! Thanks!!
http://www.cafepress.com/theh2.1335277319
Excellent responses, everyone
We should flood twitter
Oooooh…..perfect! Thanks, luv!
This version does NOT have The List on the back.
Let me know if I should Large Logo the Dark Shirt with The List on the back and it shall be done.
Saw some of those interviews with the Christians in Mosul. Heartbreaking.
ISIS needs a black eye. I hope the Iraqi army is up to it, but I’m not confident in that. They are probably involved.
Aw. Happy birthday Patty Ann.
The Kurds might do it.
Something like half the population of the Gaza strip is children. They have no future. There are no jobs waiting for them. The economy is an artificial construct based on foreign aid, which is based on their bogus status as “refugees.,” Of course Hamas views the children as an asset that is disposable for propaganda purposes.
2 T-Shirts ordered – thanks again, darlin’!
The economy is an artificial construct based on foreign aid, which is based on their bogus status as “refugees.,”
Well, Obama just sent them more money because he hates
JewsIsrael, so there’s that…..The best chance any Palestinian child has is becoming an Israeli citizen.
know, I know.
She’s a hopeless leftard, but I still love her to death.
It’s just sad to see them so hopeless indoctrinated. Concern detached from logic and reason.
Reminds me of this bit from “as good as it gets” – appply it to liberals:
Receptionist asks: How do you write women so well?,
Nicholson’s character responds,” I think of a man and I take away reason and accountability”
http://legalinsurrection.com/2014/07/medal-of-honor-recipient-rings-bell-at-nyse-and-then-breaks-the-gavel/
Easy Peasy, TiF; you’re most welcome!
Comment by Car in on July 24, 2014 9:22 am
i’m BLOATING
You’re probably pregnant.
This isn’t PJM, maybe it’s just gas.
We had a fairly terse conversation at Christmas dinner about recycling.
Heh.
Nice job on the header.
This is GOOD:
http://blogs.timesofisrael.com/shalom-motherfr/
Don’t know if HS’s daughter would appreciate it, though…..
Hey everybody! Do you know what day it is???
IT’S NATIONAL TEQUILA DAY!!!!!
Well, post a pic of Tequila. We haven’t seen that pooch in a while.
One Tequila
Two Tequilas
Three Tequilas
Floor
I picked the correct running route yesterday.
this happened on one of my other routes yesterday, a few hours after my run.
So, if you had a day named after you, how would you spend it?
http://wp.me/ab9T5-aK5
Strangest cover ever. Doesn’t sound anything like the original.
(NSFW for explicit lyrics)
Here is the equation:
1 Israeli life equals 1000 Palestini lives.
Hamas created the equation when they demanded and got the release of 1000 Hamas members in return for Gilad Shalit.
Israel has lost 33 people so far. By Hamas’s equation, a death toll of 33,000 Palestinians would mean balanced casualities on the two sides. So far, only 500-600 Palestinians have died. I think a lot more Palestinians need to die to restore balance.
http://blogs.timesofisrael.com/shalom-motherfr/
My only editorial change would be to spell out “motherfucker.”
Hah. The Free Beacon:
New video evidence suggests that elderly homeowner Hillary Clinton has still not been clear[ed] to operate a motor vehicle following her scary fall in December 2012. The following clip was taken as the former child rapist defender was leaving a Clinton Foundation event in Oakland, California…
Clinton was reportedly launching a new “baby talking” campaign with the help of Jim Steyer, the older, poorer brother of environmentalist billionaire Tom Steyer. Longtime adviser and Weiner spouse Huma Abedin appears to be accompanying Clinton in the five-car motorcade.
So Cankles is still getting Weiner’s sloppy seconds, I guess.
My only editorial change would be to spell out “motherfucker.”
$100 says that the stupid fuck that Eitan un-friended has a “Coexist” bumpersticker on his Prius.
Another $100 says Facechimp Jew-hating fuck spends precisely zero time posting about the predations of just about any Arab terrorist group that blows up pizza parlors or churches or mosques or bazaars. Additional bet of $50 says Facechimp fuck has never uttered a peep about Iran’s persecution of gays.
Glad you avoided dog trouble Car in. You may have fended off one dog but two or more dogs is a pack and they’re not letting up until, well, that story tells it all.
Shalom M’fer is one of the best articles I’ve read in a long time. Well done!
Scary stuff, Car in! Are you carrying id with you on your runs? Maybe a tattoo?
Thank Gaia Licorice Dick is sending another $47 million of our money to those special snowflakes running Gaza. For humanitarian aid of course, which under the Palestinian authorities means fresh rockets and explosives. Those new tunnels won’t build themselves.
Thanks, Barry!
When Rick Perry goes running, dogs wear Kevlar sweaters.
Are you carrying id with you on your runs? Maybe a tattoo?
I picked the correct running route yesterday.
That’s scary as hell.
Black Jesus has to send Gaza money, otherwise there will be a cease fire.
Yeah, Heaven forfend that Hamas should run out of logistical support and consider ending hostilities for economic reasons*.
*historically this is when people stop fighting
Can’t believe we are sending money. To the enemy of our ally, Israel.
Well, our enemy too, but we don’t seem to be classifying them very well lately.
Nothing has been classified correctly since about, oooohhh, Jan ’09.
I classify this place as a shithole dump.
How’s that?
Nailed it.
Scary stuff, Car in! Are you carrying id with you on your runs? Maybe a tattoo?
I hate you long time!
no id, but I will be picking up some pepper spray before my next run.
Or I could just go with the odds. What are the chances ANOTHER runner gets killed in Lapeer county by dogs?
The scary thing is that I do run that route. RIGHT down that street, past where it happened. A friend of mine lives near and was walking her dog and got chased by two dogs. I haven’t spoken to her yet to determine if she thinks they were the same dogs.
no motivation
L-R
Cyn – Hotspur
Ooopsie…
http://tinyurl.com/m4g6hds
OH RIGHT. coffee.
I can simply have more coffee.
Well, that didn’t work.
Ut oh. Dog head on foot. Day is shot.
Can someone please push this POS down, so my phone doesn’t get 500 notifications?
No.
Hi Brad.
Hello Brad.
Sup Bradster.
I would, Brad, but I have a dog head on my foot …
xbrad! sup!
Just poat another one, xbrad. That’ll stop the notifications on the first one.
C’mere, Pupster!
http://tinyurl.com/kuwemkx
Wiser, or one of you other p-shoppers. Can you paste this:
http://tinyurl.com/o78repy
Into this:
http://tinyurl.com/qby8dgv
For the perfect description of Obama’s space program.
Ok, xbrad. If you insist.
Washington (CNN) – It worked.
That is the argument former Secretary of State Hillary Clinton made during a Thursday interview about her much talked about 2009 reset of U.S.-Russia relations.
The statement comes as Russia, under President Vladimir Putin, has distanced itself from the United States, and the country is widely seen by U.S. and European analysts as linked to the downing of a passenger airliner earlier this month in Ukraine.
Yet millions will vote for this delusional, vainglorious cunt.
Thanks, GO.
I guess that makes it the Opollo program.
I guess that makes it the Opollo program.
Opollo Loco.
Opo lol o
Love the header. HBD Patty Ann.
So, has Obama gone full muslim, or does he still have his clitoris intact?
Meanwhile, back on the “Watch what the other hand is doing” front:
http://freebeacon.com/politics/white-house-fights-to-keep-shirley-sherrod-emails-secret/
Gee, I wonder if they mention “Pigford” in a couple or 300 e-mails? Can’t have that little graft project brought into the light, now, can we?
I’ve heard a squirt of ammonia from a water bottle or spray bottle works well against dog attacks.
Just uh, be careful about which bottle you swig from.
Mmmm, refreshing Windex!
**sprays some ammonia on Pupster**
One of those things we no longer learn as children is how to fight animals if the need arises.
Maybe the guy was just asking for it.
leon grew up in interesting times.
Why do old people keep their homes so hot? I’m dying here!!!! Yay, Dan just got back with his Mom from the rehab facility.
There were some scary dogs in my neighborhood.
Does Obamacare cover FGM?
One dog I could try to fight. Two? And they were Bull Mastiffs.
I have a friend who breeds bull mastiffs. The breed was developed to protect lords’ estates in England. Essentially they instinctively get between a runners legs and trip him, then get his throat in a vice grip with their muzzle. If you don’t try to fight them off, they will just hold you there. The idea was, to hold the poacher there until the lord showed up with the sheriff.
I bet the guy tried to fight them off not knowing how they are wired.
Or maybe he was just axing for it.
Well, who knows if the dog still had the “hold ’em there” mentality.
How long would you let a Bull Mastiff hold you there?
After I shit and pissed my pants he would probably leave because of the stink.
^that’s about right.
Fending off rapists, fending off bull mastiffs – same technique.
Shitting and pissing yourself is an approved anti rape tactic
Heh, I read Hotspur as fending off rabbits. Probably fends off Rabbis too.
Everybody knows you fend off rabbis by throwing bacon bits on them.
Bull Mastiffs take by force. It’s all they want or understand. If I were you, I’d grow eyes in the back of my head.
Yeah, I wouldn’t bet on the squirt bottle thing. A forest service guy was riding his bike in Magdalenaville and a dog ran up to him barking. He stopped and squirted it. As soon as the ammonia hit it, it launched and nailed the guy.
Try squirting it with a .45.
That’ll work.
You need a taser.
you should pee on yourself.
That should keep the dogs at bay.
Pee on yourself then taser yourself.
Pee on yourself then taser yourself.
But be sure to video the entire thing so… ummm… so…
so you have something to show the lawyers when you sue the owners.
Yeah… that’s a good reason, right?
One of those things we no longer learn as children is how to fight animals if the need arises.
A coworker and I were discussing this earlier. It’s not just how to fight but how to treat any animal. People don’t train their dogs, and they often treat other people’s animals as friendly or passive, even to the point of harrassing them.
Hey Wiser, I want to see the TFG picture of TFG holding a TFG bobble-head, but with your TheBearIsLoose PS skillz
Hey Wiser, I want to see the TFG picture of TFG holding a TFG bobble-head, but with your TheBearIsLoose PS skillz
I’ve been thinking about how I was gonna do that. could be difficult.
Health News Flash: Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder causes academic fraud.
Media News Flash: The media indicts self by not rolling on the floor laughing at this whopper.
TITS is coming! (Sean gets a pass)
http://tinyurl.com/l5uxlxt
Wiser, you can do it!!!! Happy Gilmore’d/
lauraw, Democratium gets a pass in 3…2…
I have a foul mouth. Whatev. We’re coming home from Dan’s parents’ and Dan’s Dr calls to reschedule his appointment. Dan is on speaker and a car rolls past a stop sign on my side of the car…I use the C word. My favorite. Yeah….speaker. Awkward.
Mmmmm farmstand-fresh ‘Butter and Sugar’ sweet corn hot off the grill.
Good impulse buy today.
You guys have good corn? Ours is expensive and little. Waiting for Moriarty corn to see if it is good this year.
http://tinyurl.com/khfua86
Connecticut River Valley grown sweet corn is pretty dang awesome.
Butter and Sugar is more ‘corny’ and less cloyingly sweet than Silver Queen, and I was glad to see that was what they were offering today.
I’m going to turn the leftovers into corn chowder next week.
Mmmm…corn. Dan makes a really good corn salad.
I’m the Bubba Gump of corn. I love it.
I’m like that with beef.
Beef salad,
Currently eating beef stew.
Hold the salad.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=l_T8OtRTwBs
Bunny on lawn outside garden. Placidly munching on lawn clover.
If Scott makes it a head shot I’m going to try my hand at dressing it. Gotta learn sometime.
There are guides on youtube, Laura.
Corn hole.
Eat the heart while it’s still warm. It will give you the wisdom of the rabbit.
It got shot in the head, how wise is it?
But not the Rabbi
Wunderkind! Top O the Eve.
*lights a Bday candle fir PA*
Sweet girl.
Anyone need a recipe for headcheese?
I love playing corn hole. Kick ass.
I did my part.
I love playing corn hole.
How YOU doin’?
I did my part.
I’m now picturing Laura with a dead bunny and a knife watching youtube and wincing.
Hey Oso, did you see this? http://i.imgur.com/XvWIwD7.jpg
Mexican Nativity Scene
Crackfat almost killed me today, but at least there were no dogs attacking, so I’m giving it a thumbs up.
Ahhh I too miss Patty Ann. Happy Birthday you wonderful woman.
She did good.
>> If Scott makes it a head shot I’m going to try my hand at dressing it. Gotta learn sometime.
Batter and fry. Pro-tip, put a little mustard in the batter. Takes out the gamey taste.
Pups, I saw that. I’ve been having a Bort moment about those fucking cans. I can’t remember when “Connie” fell off the truck stop cheap ass souvenir cart, but Dan never lets me forget that it happened. BTW 2 of our new cashiers are named Maygan and Sindie. I bet they get fucking Coke cans!!!!
Mmmm. Mustard in the batter.
thanks DiT.
It should be delicious, it’s been living in the garden.
Did anybody dance around the studio like a jackass when Maury revealed they weren’t anybody else’s baby daddy today?
I just finished two days of acting classes.
I have new found respect for actors.
I have new found respect for actors.
It’ll pass.
Gay porn has acting classes?
I just finished two days of acting classes.
Was the puppetry class full, or had they been warned about you ahead of time?
I have watched those videos before, but this is the first time I ever followed through. That was ridiculously easy.
It was mildly difficult getting started, because it was a neck shot and it looked like the little guy was suffering. I wanted to make sure I didn’t get started on him too soon so I wrung him to be sure he was out. After that, so easy.
Wow! There’s a delicious spring bunny in my fridge!
Glenn Close wept.
Is it gay porn if she has a penis?
Xbrad?
MJ, one of my college roomies was a Dance Major. AKA BFA. Had to take lots of acting classes. And lighting. And music. Respect. Mostly, because I could never let that kind of honesty just hang out there. Ghey
Awesome MJ. I like acting as well and I’m sure a two day class is fun.
Break a Leg.
I’m remodeling a high school theater and I have to walk through the theater classroom periodically. The students are out for summer of course, but the murmur of their practice echoes there.
Installing a in a new theater rigging system.
*promotes Chumpo and Oso to kick ass mother fucker status
Go Double Ewes.
That Viking Movie gave you a steady hand.
Shalom, motherfuckers.
Jay, how many indians?
Shalom, fellow goyim.
Shalom, bcoch!!!
Been too long since I’ve “seen” you fuckers. How goes it? I miss anything important? MJ finally come out of the closet?
Really hard to fake it in acting class. Not models posing and looking pretty, but ACTING!!!! (Does the Jon Lovitz ‘ACTING’ flourish)
Alas, poor faggots,
I knew ye well.
50 Shades trailer is yum. PA would’ve approved. She introduced me to CDAN.
0 indians, chumpo. I’m lame during the week.
Saw the monkey movie, finally!!! Stupid Dan getting a mild concussion. Stupid FiL breaking his hip. It is a total hippie/socialistic nag fest with apes. I DON’T CARE. LOVED IT.
Tartlet? Tartlet?
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=WjzyAHKYJ8M
Hahaha Scott.
Your not lame. Yer an early riser.
MJ:
http://tinyurl.com/ph7ohe2
J’ames gets a new toy
Dr Zeus Dr Zeus
Or maybe I’m confusing J’ames with Oso. All this poating has me confused.
J’ames and “friend.”
http://bit.ly/1rAzE5K
You’re gonna need a bigger cornhole
Which one of you were rocking this song in that Halcyon Summer of1970?
I begrudge you your awesomeness in advance because I wasn’t there.
*kicks the dog*
It’ll be much bigger when they’re through.
sorry.
http://en.musicplayon.com/play?v=386215
MJ, was it hot in that suit?
I saw the trailer for 50 Shades. Dude looks a little too metro for my tastes. If you’re gonna tie me up and spank me, you better look closer to this
No, I have not read the book.
It’s cold in the office so the suit worked out well.
Fit like a glove.
Don’t forget the jazz hands.
Very important
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=xuPSIbABYVU
Here’s your feel good story of the day:
http://bearingarms.com/make-day-concealed-carrier-named-eastwood-captures-five-suspects-officer-goes-chase/
Don’t mess with rural Iowa. They’ll mess you up!
Hal leonard with “Jazzhands” very difficult to view.
Do Not Attempt.
Hal Leonard.
Hal’s parents shot him out of a cannon, didn’t they?
what…was….that
We’ve got some nice locally grown sweet corn happening RIGHT NOW. Four for a dollar this week. Bought a bunch. Will cut it off the cob and freeze it.
beasn, the actor is metro, but he has great hands. Totally willing to ignore metro and the ghey, just for those hands. Squeeeee
4 for a 1$? I will kill you!!! Even our crappy corn is .60$ an ear.
“Who’s steppin’ to Hal Leonard?!!
“That’s what I thought.”
*Hal leonard, smoldering, get’s back int his Prussian Bleu Smart Car and chirps the tires. We all back off.”
We paid .65 an ear.
lauraw said it was yummy. Our corn looks like corn that a pig would say “FU”
I’ve seen that corn.
The hoppers probably ate the good stuff.
Bout $7 a dozen here
You should eat the hoppers, get even!
I have few things in life that give me joy. Cheap sweet corn and hot green chile. I’ll let you know how the chile crop turned out next month when we start roasting.
Stupid hoppers.
Huh. I totes didn’t realize that you were a green chile fan, oso. You should be more open about such things.
Canned corn is pretty good.
And the Sims.
Pay up sucka.
http://www.somethingawful.com/news/sims-4-differences/
Frozen is better than canned.
FroCo
A couple of weeks ago, it was five for a dollar. It’s really good too. I scraped two into my meat soup this evening.
The grocery store’s ads have been all about the locally grown stuff the past few weeks. Corn, tomatoes, green beans, peppers, peaches, etc.
I haven’t eaten canned corn since college.
By fall, we’ll be getting corn that tastes like feed.
Jason Momoa has nice hands. But he’s married to Lisa Bonet, so BOOOO.
So does Mike Rowe. Nice hands and a cute puppy, what more do you need?
Speaking of which, I have a few ripe tomatoes I need to pick.
Canned corn will do in calabacitas. Not optimal.
I had a major crush on a guys hands in college. He was the surgeon for my inlaws cataract surgery. His hands are still Squeeeee. Dan’s legs may have gone to the chickens, but his hands are still OMG.
Connie, I was tempted to share Rosetta’s Frozen spoof with Fr. Erik. But the f-bomb and the daddy thing was a bit much.
I add canned corn to soups.
Oops….
I stock up on frozen corn when it’s on sale for a buck or buck fiddy. 16oz.
2 ears = 15 oz can
Do I have to have a t-shirt to go to Arizona?
Beasn, do it. Fr Erik would get it. PJ has gone to Mass at his church!!!
I want to go to Utah just to go to Mass with Fr Erik.
Should I do it on his Frozen thread from today?
Do I have to have a t-shirt to go to Arizona?
Yes, that is the dress code. T-shirt and nothing else.
Yes. He’s great. He’ll get it.
And a lime green thong.
Facebook ruins everything.
No DiT.
You can bring the H2 Ove Glove or Torrilla Warmer. I’m getting the Tote.
Bought my tickets to Temp tonight, and rented a Camaro SS convertible. Will rent room tomorrow.
e I forgot an e
Sorry, Scott. Fr Erik and Fr McFadden are great. Who knew that the HQ had Catholic priests lurking. Fr Steve is a Moron, too.
DinT, if you *really* wanna be popular, get the TITS flask.
We found a bed for the M-i-L in an assisted living facility. Move her in on Monday (if she doesn’t take it on the lam)!
I’m ordering the men’s boxer shorts and a tube top for TITS.
Oh, and a hat.
Oh joy. A couple of my old high school buddies’ exgirlfriends are reminiscing on Facebook about the time they set me up on a blind date with their friend. Their annoying friend. Their annoying and unattractive friend.
So, did she put out. . . Annoyingly?
That sounds like it might be a hard deal, Master Chief… is she okay with the move?
That’s tough, MCPO. But it’s better than having to worry about her constantly.
Cyn – no. Her last morsel of independence is being taken from her and she is reacting like someone with dementia – one day she is okay with it, the next she is throwing a tantrum like a 5 y/o.
It’s facebook. I bet she had a dick.
That’s really tough, MCPO.
So sorry, Mcpo. Hard enough in town. Prayers for you and Herself.
BC, keep yer helmet on and your mouthpiece in.
Hey bcoch, was the friend recently out of person on a manslaughter charge?
Person? FU Autocuke. PRISON. Was the blind date recently out of prison???
Oh, MCPO, that has got to be heart-wrenching for you two even though you know you’re doing the right thing. {{Hugs}}
I bet she had a penis.
So, did she put out. . . Annoyingly?
It is tough on Herself. Poor thing is miserable that she can’t “fix” it all for her mom.
I’ve had one blind date in life.
She was 6’1″. Her friends were bitches.
Sorry to hear that Chief.
I have no idea if she had a penis. Didn’t want to know. Don’t want to know. At the end of the night, when I drove her home, I spent about 5 solid minutes in my truck dodging the good night kiss she clearly wanted.
I hear ya, Mcpo. Prayers for Herself.
Laura was a blind date.
No blind dates for me so far.
lauraw isn’t blind. (Narrows eyes and totes misses the object of the conversation)
>> Laura was a blind date.
I’m glad she healed up.
You guys remember back in in the late 90s when “simulated roller coasters” were a thing? Basically a box with a vid screen that tilted and shook and was supposed to be like you were on an actual coaster.
Two of my buddies, their girlfriends, this chick and I go out to dinner and then down to this mini golf/go carts/arcade/batting cage place that had one set up. Big deal. Lots of people there.
It was like $12 bucks a ticket and an hour wait. It’s almost our turn and she goes, “I don’t think I want to do this. I don’t want to get on.”
“What?!?!”
“I don’t really like roller coasters. They make me sick.”
*incredulous look*
“I paid for tickets. We waited all this time. We’re getting on the ride.”
Ooooo…simulated roller coaster. My blind date started telling me that he just got out of prison for manslaughter.
Ok. You win, oso.
I’ve had blind dates. I just close my eyes and wait for the date to end.
*Admires BC’s pitch, wonders if I’ll be an owner of a timeshare within the hour.
So what happened next?
>> DinT, if you *really* wanna be popular, get the TITS flask.
Is there a half gallon size? Cause me and wiser were popular as shit with his bottle of Stoli
I used to tell a funny story about the Manassa Murderer. Then I met a guy who was related to the guy my Blind Date killed. Awkward.
I used to just hit on random chicks at the mall. Success rate was about 35%.
So what happened next?
She agreed to get on the ride…but only if I didn’t choose a crazy sequence. You could choose sections of tracks. Barrel rolls, flips, etc.
Guess what I did?
Was the date simulated as well?
Is there a half gallon size?
heh.
I used to just hit on random chicks at the mall. Success rate was about 35%.
*forwards advice to xbrad*
Unfortunately, GO, no it was not.
When you’re 16, dropping $70 or so on a date is a lot of damn money. All for nothing.
*incredulous look*
“I paid for tickets. We waited all this time. We’re getting on the ride.”
What. A. Cow.
16? Get off my fucking lawn. (Kicks sand on bcoch and throws a baseball at his head)
L to R: Leon, Blind Date
http://tinyurl.com/moqwzlr
Hey! I’m not that young. Why, as of last week, I haven’t been 16 for over 17 years!
(and throwing a baseball at a guy who had a baseball scholarship in college probably isn’t a good idea. lol.)
Guess what I did?
Deliciously evil. Good call.
If you’re 36 you’re closer to 50 than 20.
16 plus 17 is 33, Dave.
$70 won’t buy you a ride these days. One that isn’t simulated, anyhow.
I’m Israel. I gave you a warning, and threw the ball anyway. Someday, the JAX Iron Dome will fail…
Oh, wait… Roller coasters. Never mind.
But not this day, oso.
If you’re 36 you’re closer to 50 than 20.
That’s gonna leave a mark.
Not this day…but SOON!!!
I have a Joe Carter mitt. Damn, I’m old.
*hopes BC picks me for H@ annual Softball Slaughter fest and Jaggermister Infusion*
Team ChumpyCock is ready to go! Drink!
Hi Kat. meow’s kix?
L to R: Leon, Blind Date
Nailed it. She was blonde, too. Legs for days. Married a friend of mine who was also her height. They have 3 kids now.
* Glug Glug Glug Glug Glug Glug Glug Glug Glug Glug Glug Glug Glug Glug Glug Glug Glug Glug Glug Glug Glug Glug Glug Glug Glug Glug Glug Glug Glug Glug Glug Glug Glug Glug Glug Glug.
A TV show on the supposedly family friendly network ABC Family aired an episode of the show “The Fosters” depicting a lesbian couple getting a late-term abortion.
I guess sex ed has been a failure.
Rawr!
Timing – heh.
As they say, Leon, her legs went all the way to the ground.
Freed your 11:05pm from teh bucket, B-Ho.
G’night guys. Pencil in your spreadsheets. Wink wink nudge nudge.
Don’t cry little bear.
depicting a lesbian couple getting a late-term abortion.
Doing that “lesbian” thing allllllll wrong.
As they say, Leon, her legs went all the way to the ground.
Her hips were at my elbows. So yeah.
President Obama made an impromptu stop at a Los Angeles diner on Thursday to have lunch with four people who have written him letters.
But he also had a chance to talk about his hoops game.
—
“My shot’s broke,” Obama said, as he held up his arm and did a mock free throw.
“It’s my elbow,” he continued. “It’s my age. I get the chicken wing.”
Obama said he makes 8 out of 10 shots, “but not in one game.”
It’s like the nation decided to give Veruca Salt the nuclear football and the worship of millions. Twice.
Hahaha Pups. Anyone else see the Monkey Movie? Between Dawn and TFG, bears are taking it up the butt.
I like how it was ‘impromptu’.
Thanx Babe. Thats a first for me to the Buchet.
I’m frightened.
I see the monkey movie every day when the press covers the White House.
I refuse to denounce myself.
I like how it was ‘impromptu’.
^^ This.
#SCOAMF
Twice.
Proud Moments.
Obama said he makes 8 out of 10 shots
The FUCK he’s ever made 8 of 10. I’ve seen video of that fucker shooting. A one armed midget with Parkinson’s has a better shot than that mom jean wearing shitstain.
He confused “take it in the hole” with “take it to the hole.”
*hopes everyone knows I meant Veruca Salt from the movie, not the band*
“take it in the hole”
*Reggie Love perks up*
Thats a first for me to the Buchet.
Meh, we all make it in there now and again.
Good work, blog mom.
Both Verucas are the shiz!
My Brother was “salting” the Main Veruca in the band for a while. It was after their heyday. I never met her BUT she evidently stole one of my fuchin hats.
Bastard lil brother.
The humanoid sack of feces in the tailored suit oozing animal grease all over the Resolute desk will, upon leaving office, make Jimmy Carter’s retirement look like a vow of silence.
Someone must have launched this hashtag already:
#TheBearIsLooseShit
TFG is apparently buying a house down the street from me.
Ya never know OG. If he drives his entire party and ideology into the woods for the next 15 years he won’t be too up in your shit.
Plus he’s a lazy MF’er.
…and XB will have him on the close radar.
Cheer Up.
You mean, Xbrad, someone is buying a house for him. The fucker never pays his own way.
…make Jimmy Carter’s retirement look like a vow of silence.
I’m gonna party like it’s 1999 when that happens.
I don’t care where he’s going to live. I need to know where he’ll be buried when he dies. Trying to plan my retirement road trip of “places I need to pee after I don’t give a shit anymore”.
Bye Bye, Diamond Dogs.
I’ll dream.
$666 bucks says after the First Mofo finally eats the wormy dirt, there will be an official movement to efface Jefferson from Rushmore and put Licorice Dick in his place.
At that point the nation will be calling itself The People’s Republic of Meximericanada.
I wonder what our national flag will look like.
Bye Bye, Diamond Dogs.
I’ll dream.
Bowie!
Diamond dogs?
My dog will love that flag as a new cover for his bed.
I think I once barfed up the colors on the gay flag.
I think I once barfed up the colors on the gay flag.
Tequila will do that.
So will gin.
{{shudders}}
The worst alcohol adventure I ever had? Getting smashed on nearly a whole bottle of Pernod about 30 years ago. Still don’t care for the stuff.
T’was gin and tonic that did me in. Took me forever to tolerate the smell and taste of limes after that. Ugh.
Fun substitute for limes: kumquats. We have a few on a little bush in the backyard.
…things that sound dirty…
Imma out. G’nighty sweet dreams to all.
Doctor please, some more of these
Outside the door, she took four more
What a derp it is getting old
The new tits are here.