Important Schtuff

 

257 Comments

  1. Insert starter comment here.

  2. I only have to pack 2 little things, the rest of the day is reserved for lounging.

  3. and maybe some gardening….and that tree out front needs to come down.

  4. Another day on my butt resting my leg. But I found that wearing heels seems to relieve the pain, so at least I look hawt while doing nothing.

  5. Heh on the header.

    F*cking douchenozzle.

  6. MJ, do you eat the sausage or just lick it and then suck on it?
    —————————
    I mostly just tongue it. Your mom can verify the technique.

  7. Hey Scott if you are dealing with a box cutter wear shoes.

    Recommended.

    *kid’s ok, 3 sutures and a little sore* Jesus her apartment looked like a murder scene from Dexter. What a mess

  8. Last week I put a razor knife in my back pocket without retracting the blade. The couch got stabbed when I sat on it.

  9. Haha.. couches don’t bleed.

    Knives are sharp though, ain’t they?

  10. We are very good with butterfly bandages. If you don’t care about scars, they’re almost as good as sutures.

  11. Some day I’ll get the courage to try superglue, then maybe fire.

  12. Superglue burns and won’t allow any drainage. If there is a chance of an infection it’s a bad idea.

  13. I think she likes it.

  14. Liquid bandage is a great idea. As long as it is a small cut. Does not work on gashes that are 10 inch long and 2 inches wide.

  15. The gold watch on the hand pulling the pony tail tells me he is a dad, uncle or grandpa.

  16. I’m going with good looking rich dude. Also a douche bag.

  17. Liquid bandage doesn’t make good lube. FYI.

    The more you know you stupid fucker.

  18. Hey CynBuns, what list is on the TITS T-shirt?

  19. Oh, You are gonna laugh when you see that.

  20. Forty five years ago man landed on the moon. Unfortunately he wasn’t Muslim so NASA has to spend the next forty five making up for this by whining about global warming.

  21. go to the store and hover over the tan shirt,

    Kinda the way you hover over Brony Cosplay articles on the Darkweb.

    Sicko.

  22. Kinda the way you hover over Brony Cosplay articles on the Darkweb.

    *blushes*

  23. It was kind of a wide and very deep cut, just below the ankle. No way I was gonna try to doc that up.. plus, she was behind on tetanus shot.

  24. Clinton doesn’t seem to get it. A lot of voters out there are pretty angry and want to see a politician at least pretend to be on their side. That’s not the candidate who rakes in big speaking fees from the financial industry. No matter that Warren is pitching well-worn class warfare.

    Democratic voters like it.

    Clinton reportedly is now heading to Boston next week to take a financial industry speaking gig from former President George W. Bush, who is recovering from knee replacement surgery. Yes, Clinton is a Bush stand-in. Just what Democrats want.

    Ah HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA

    You Demotards made gods out of the Clintons. Shut up and bend your knees. You have no one else and not even Liawatha Warren has deep enough pockets to outspend Cankles.

  25. That’s a pic from Apollo 8. I have a print signed by Frank Borman.

  26. We use a new product on spine incisions for the skin layer. It’s called Dermabond Prineo. After you close the deep layers with Vicryl you use the Prineo. It’s a long narrow mesh that gets rolled on and then you use the glue to seal it down. It works well but those are clean wounds. When we first started using it we didn’t wait long enough for it to dry and the gauze kept sticking to it. Now we wait a good ten minutes for it to dry. For a traumatic lac from a box cutter nylon sutures make the most sense.

  27. May I repeat the news offered by Francis Cianfrocca, one of the regular guests on Coffee and Markets from Red State, a conservative and a major league Wall Street player: there is no shortage of Wall Street Republicans who will be perfectly happy with a Hillary Clinton presidency, and who will likely support her financially.

  28. http://history.nasa.gov/spacepen.html

  29. Really? Space pens kilt it?

  30. Heh

  31. We haven’t seen any recent Zeke pics, Vman. What’s up with that?

  32. I think it was spacemen.

  33. I love the bullet space pen. So small it goes into a wallet.

  34. Going back to Florida, my groovy fish sticks.

  35. What’s the difference between xbrad and a cannon full of bull semen?

  36. one is an ingredient in red Bull

  37. One is welcome at Pride. The other ….actually they’re both welcome.

  38. There is a kick ass app called World Lens.
    Available on Apple and Android devices.
    Point your camera at printed text, and it will translate.
    Works with spanish, french, german, russian, portuguese for now.

    http://imgur.com/gallery/7nX4mKr

    I tried it. Unless you work with technology, you cannot fathom how awesome this is.

  39. >>What’s the difference between xbrad and a cannon full of bull semen?

    Difference betweel XBrad and bull semen is which orifice on the bull they ooze out of.

  40. I just showed Pat the previous post, and he said that Wiser is a genius. No one tell him, though, he’ll get a big head.

  41. 2 dogs Xbrad, no hands left for camera.
    I put together a post for dead morning Tuesday, in case no one gets around to it.

  42. “What’s the difference between xbrad and a cannon full of bull semen?”

    The correct answer is that MJ has maybe never sucked on a cannon full of bull semen.

  43. Someone just called about Blake, yea!

  44. Rosetta goes for a waxing.

    It is a Bro-zilian wax.

  45. Why Is Car in up so late?

  46. MJ, are you moving back to Florida?

  47. What’s the difference between Tushar having consensual sex with a howler monkey and a bulldog raping a bunny rabbit?

  48. 3

  49. 4

  50. cinco

  51. The difference between Rosetta and a canon full of bull semen is that the canon full of bull semen would get picked first in grade school gym class.

  52. http://i.imgur.com/FkPhPt3.gif?1

  53. No. I’m just going for a few weeks of stats classes.

  54. MJ, are you moving back to Florida?

    He’s doing it for year round tennis.

  55. Cannon Full of Bull Semen is Elizabeth Warrens Indian name.

  56. You can spot the democrats in Pupsters baseball GIF.

  57. I have SUCH a headache. Could be from trying to understand German. Mil just left with her sister – who can understand some English, but can barely speak.

    I just smiled and nodded a lot.

  58. I just worked up a sweat putting a pot roast in the crock pot.

  59. I have a theory I would like to put out there.

    Why do we have 7,000 nuclear warheads? I know the Cold War with Russia was the reason we manufactured and stockpiled them but why do we still have them?

    I believe there was reason not realized at the time and I also believe they aren’t going to rot.

    I think that there is a possibility that at some point in the future there will be a more devastating terrorist attack on the U.S. than 9/11.

    If there is a non-pussy as President at the time I think the country where the attack originated will be nuked and I don’t mean like Little Boy and Fat Boy.

    I mean complete destruction. Basically the parking lot idea.

    Discuss.

    Do you think that would never happen or do you think something less drastic is more likely?

    Most complex systems that have opposing poles tend to behave as a pendulum. Things go too far one way and at some point they over-compensate by going maybe too far the other way.

  60. When I was stationed in Germany, they gave us 40 hours of “Where’s the bathroom?” German. But I couldn’t understand what the fuck the Germans were saying. But about 6 months later, suddenly I started understanding most of what they were talking about.

    You know, everyday conversation like “It’s forty Duetschmarks for the full fuck and suck” and “I like it when chicks shit on me.”

  61. >>What’s the difference between Tushar having consensual sex with a howler monkey and a bulldog raping a bunny rabbit?

    The bunny does not howl.

  62. “What’s the difference between Tushar having consensual sex with a howler monkey and a bulldog raping a bunny rabbit?”

    “The bunny does not howl.”

    Incorrect. Correct answer is that the bunny rabbit doesn’t feel shame the next day.

  63. I never smile.

  64. Rosetta, there is a good chance that country will be Pakistan. When you turn that shithole into a parking lot, india will suffer a lot from the fallout. India has smaller nukes that will take out the majority of their population without turning India into a wasteland. I am sure India will gladly offer to use those instead of the big American ones.

    We have another devastating idea. Five major rivers flow into Pakistan from India, and we have enormous dams and massive reservoirs built on all of them. If we open all the sluice gates at once, Pakistan will look like Katrina times 100.

  65. Smiling is for faggots.

  66. I’ve thought before that Pakistan has small man’s disease. Like Hamas in Palestine.

    The only reason you haven’t been wiped off the fucking map is that the bigger guy you’re bullying hasn’t reached his breaking point.

    Same with the U.S. In our lifetime one of the big guys getting bullied is going to lose it and bring hell.

    It’s the way of nature.

  67. And that will solve the population bomb problem.

  68. Photoshop makes me smile.

  69. Now if we can get Gaia to give California a 10.8 earthquake so that it falls into the ocean, the world would really start looking up.

  70. What’s 7 inches long and hasn’t been sucked in over 2 years? Whitney Houston’s crack pipe.

  71. Chumpo, are you bringing the shrooms to AZ? I think it’s your turn.

  72. MOM, TUSHAR HATES THE COLOREDS!!!

  73. yep.

    they’re suppositories.

  74. I don’t know how many times I have to tell you this Chumpo but GET AWAY FROM MY ASS!!

  75. What is the difference between jam and jelly?

    Chumpo cannot jelly his thumb up his ass.

  76. Heh! Two consecutive comments about Chumpo’s business end.

  77. Gross.

  78. “What is the difference between jam and jelly?
    Chumpo cannot jelly his thumb up his ass.”

    HAHAHAHAHA!!!

    Did you just make at up, Tush? Funneh.

  79. I have talent, and evidently my netherlands are popular.

  80. Tigerlily. how many flexiludes are you on right now?

  81. Rosette, I wish I made that up. I read it somewhere.

  82. Zero. But Advil and me…we got a thing goin’ on.

  83. >>I have talent, and evidently my netherlands are popular.

    I swear I didn’t tell a soul.

  84. Good for you. Tushar has eaten way to much beef today, and Rosetta may be drinking out of the toilet.

    Things are good.

  85. The following is a presentation of Rosetta Community Theater:

    Scientist 1: There seems to be an anomaly in the universe. Matter appears to be being sucked into a great space crevasse!!

    Scientist 2: Fuck! Chumpo is naked again!

    Random Male Prostitute: Oh how does THAT feel bitch? TAKE IT ALL!!

    Chumpo: Are you in yet?

    Fin.

  86. No such thing as too much beef.

    I heard.

  87. Remember when you used to blow Bubbles as a kid?

    His act is coming to St Louis, You should call and relive the glory.

  88. What is the difference between American flag and moochelle’s skirt?
    TFG stands erect when the flag is raised.

  89. The correct answer is that MJ has maybe never sucked on a cannon full of bull semen.

    Learn something new everyday.

    Not that I’m happy about it.

  90. What’s the difference between Elizabeth Warren and Iron Eyes Cody?

  91. One is a real crying Indian and the other makes real Indians cry.

  92. One is Ittalian and the other is a fake indian.

  93. The next people to use an atomic weapon will be Islamist psychopaths. The people after that will be other Islamist psychopaths. The Nation Below Canada will never have the belly to use a nuke again, no matter how many Nation-Below-Canadians are murdered.

    Although we might use one on our allies. That’s how Licorice Dick’s America rolls.

  94. What is the difference between Wiserbud and The Jonas Brothers?

  95. what?

  96. Unlike Wiserbud, even the Jonas Brothers don’t like their cover of “Take On Me.”

  97. What is the difference between Rosetta and Perez Hilton?

    I mean, I can’t find any.

  98. keep looking. There has got to be one somewhere.

  99. Perez Hilton has hair.

  100. Ta Daa!

  101. Why is Air Force One like a B-52?

  102. Both carry things that make the rest of the world hate us.

  103. MJ may be short, but he’s sneaky

  104. Somehow I always suspected MJ was a manscaper.

  105. What’s the difference between Rosetta and a trampoline?

  106. http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=EFpwgXCwMNQ

  107. What’s the difference between Rosetta and a trampoline?

    Gay men enjoy jumping on a trampoline.

  108. Trampolines don’t beg to be jumped on.

  109. MCPO never made out with a trampoline.

  110. You don’t feel shame after bouncing on a trampoline.

  111. Unlike Rosetta, small children are delighted to suddenly see a trampoline in the backyard.

  112. I’m not sure of the difference, but you can usually find both hanging around the toy department.

  113. http://imgur.com/gallery/7nX4mKr

  114. You know which military camp we should stash illegal aliens at?

    Camp David.

    It’s not like Obama is using it.

  115. Rosetta is to a trampoline as I am to your mom.

  116. What’s the difference between Rosetta and a trampoline?

    You won’t find Wiserbud jumping on a trampoline.

  117. What’s the difference between Rosetta and a trampoline?

    When Floyd plays on a trampoline, there are no balls to lick.

  118. How is Camp David like Jellystone National Park?

  119. Northern Ontario at this time of year is pretty fucking awesome. We’ve had four days of sun and mid 70s to low 80s. Canadians are really friendly and easy to get to know. Countryside is really nice. Indians up here have nice houses and yards, and work for a living. No fucking casinos, or yards full of washing machines, junk cars, and chained up dogs.

  120. Yogi the pedobear?

  121. Both have a bear on the loose named Boo-Boo.

  122. What is the difference between the bear in Jellystone and the bear in the White House?

  123. Asshole rabbits figured out how to get in the garden.

    Rabbit season starts today.

  124. The Jellystone bear just wants to steal your peanut butter and jelly sandwiches. The bear in the White House steals everything else.

  125. Good day, chums, chumps, and Chumpo.

  126. Is Tushar around? An astrologer and psychic wandered into the ISS discussion group on LinkedIn and is saying that murtis and poojas will help us understand the natural and unnatural gravities. I’m thinking I need a bong hit to understand it.

  127. At my age and stage of the game, I need a bong hit to understand most everything.

  128. I never found that bong hits enhanced my understanding of anything. Except for cartoons.

  129. I saw Murtis and Poojas open for Gallagher at Harrah’s in Las Vegas.

  130. I’m pretty sure Tushar is the Criss Angel of unnatural gravities.

  131. By the way Roamy, NASA is supposed to be promoting Muslims, not Hindus. The Hindus are too civilized and successful.

  132. Murtis are delicious, gluten-free and Paleo.

    Poojas are a scam.

  133. I’m sensing unnatural gravity in the vicinity of Chris Christie. Everything leans to the left.

  134. What are you jackoffs up to tonight?

  135. For those who care:

    We won today’s quarter-final softball game in a grand fashion. Mercied the opposing team in 4 innings. I struck their lead-off hitter out twice, once with bases loaded. I also went 3-3.

    Final score: 14-3.

    Good day.

    Now we move on to the semi-finals.

  136. well that was a helluva nap in teh pool.

    I love me

  137. I’m at work, Alex.

  138. I’m hanging on the porch looking at Pushaw Lake with a cattle dog at my feet. Trying to decide whether my pachinko app was worth the 99 ¢ I dropped on it.

  139. What is the difference between Wiserbud and golf?

  140. Good job wiser, do you underhand pitch or do they allow windmill style?

  141. Wiserbud doesn’t always play his balls where they lie.

  142. This is perfect.

  143. Roamy, don’t listen to those crackpots.

    Murti means idol.
    Pooja means worship.

    Those guys are either ignrnt or trolls.

  144. Watched Mariners/Angels. Getting ready to watch Dodgers/Cards. Dan has been with his Mom all day. Surgery was supposed to be at 6am. Kept getting pushed back. Dad just now made it to Recovery. Everything went well.

  145. What is the difference between Rosetta and your mom ?

  146. We’re they able to repair the fracture Oso or did he end up with a hemiarthroplasty?

  147. Tushar, he seemed entirely sincere, but no one else had any patience for him. I had a good laugh as he defended his theories as “science”. Right up there will global warming magic.

  148. Remember this?

    Six years later, and he apparently still hasn’t finished it.

  149. Jimbro, the Dr went with 2 pins. I have no idea what that means.

  150. >>Dad just now made it to Recovery. Everything went well.

    Sounds like it was a longassed day, but I’m glad it came out well.

  151. Two pins?

    A 7-10 split? Tough to pick up the spare.

  152. A hemi sounds a lot cooler.

  153. Two pins means they fixed his fracture and didn’t need to remove the proximal femur and put in a hemi. Hemi just means half a hip replacement or a powerful engine. When you get the pins it usually means a less complicated fracture. Still needs to heal and be rehabbed. Good news though.

  154. He would be a lot faster with a hemi.

  155. Can’t argue with that logic.

    *forms study group*

  156. Dan’s home. It is a rod with 3 pins.

  157. Fucking hip surgery. Yeesh.

  158. Roamy, out of curiosity:

    India sent a craft to Mars in Nov 2013 and expected to reach Mars orbit in Sep 2014.
    Is NASA watching it with any interest? Granted, that from a technology perspective India is not exactly breaking any new grounds, but it seems they are using some kind of slingshot trajectory that has not been tried before, and brings down the cost considerably.

  159. Rod with three pins is a gamma nail. Still his own bone fixed for him and not a hemi. When they use pins they usually use three which I didn’t say because maybe they do it different in NM and I didn’t want to be an alarmist douchebag.

  160. Thanks Jimbro. Dan was getting the info from his Mom. He was finally able to talk to the Dr himself after the surgery.

  161. Jimbro, is it true that doctors will sometimes furrow their brow slightly and say, ‘Hm. Interesting,” when what they really mean is, “SHIIIIT HOWDY WHAT IS THAT.”

  162. Totally true! I’m guilty of doing that on occasion.

    Also: “Hmm”

    “How about that!”

    “Really? Tell me more about that”

    etc.

  163. Hahaha lauraw.

  164. Crap, I’m pretty sure I have pink eye. Ever since waking up it is so painful and it and the nostril on that side have been weeping. I caught it before in the BVI and the pain is the same. Don’t have quite the redness though this time.

    *buys stock in Puffs, Inc*

  165. Every blink hurts

  166. Man, you people have lots of excitement on the weekends!

    We made it back home with a little camper in tow – reports are that she got a little homesick, but she seems to have had a good time. She almost made it home with the wrong pair of shoes, but we were able to clear it up before everyone left.

    She was perfectly happy with the pair she was trying to make off with – “They’re purple! And green! And white!” – but her pair had a brand new set of orthotic inserts in them, so…..

  167. Tushar, I found this.

    http://www.nasaspaceflight.com/2013/11/india-mars-debut-pslv-mom/

  168. Try an allergy pill, Lippy.

  169. Does your eye itch, Lippy? Always thought that was a symptom of pink eye, but maybe that’s just in children –

  170. So, the UN found 20 hamas rockets in one of its school buildings in Gaza.
    What did they do?
    The called hamas to come and get their rockets out of the building!
    How ’bout that UN, folks? Aren’t they great?
    Fuckers…

  171. Damn, Lippy. Are there any good home treatments?

  172. It sounds like something I get.

    It’s usually just in one eye, it hurts to adjust focus and it hurts like a mofo.

  173. Do you have animals? Dog hair is high on my list of suspects.

  174. It’s probably your prostate, Lippy. You should get that checked.

  175. Maybe it’s Lupus.

  176. I just realized that I have not had that since I quit smoking.

    Another suspect was cigarettes.

    That dreaded eyeball burn from hot smoke off the tip of a cigarette?

  177. In other news, if you have a bunch of goofy and profane people to play party games with, I highly recommend Cards Against Humanity. I played the other night with some pals and we had a great time.

  178. DD#3 has that game – she and her friends play it all the time. I’ve been known to buy her an extra deck or two for Christmas/birthday presents….

  179. No pets, mostly vaping now yay, and have been taking Claritin for the past month as well as Sudafed 12-hour.

    Haven’t had the prostate checked though, hmmm that’s probably the answer. Can you self-check like the boobie cancer check yer supposed to do? *breaks out the rubber gloves and lube* BBL

  180. Bow-chicka-chicka-bow-bow

  181. Went to church, laundry is almost done, and the kitchen is clean. ish. I’ll call that a win for today.

  182. >>>>do you underhand pitch or do they allow windmill style

    It’s slow-pitch, high arch style only

  183. Laura, I’ve saved your game recommendation, thanks.

    At the March Madness Meetup at Michael’s Peel brought Apples and Oranges which was a lot of fun.

    Anybody ever play Pigmania? It’s a hoot. The dice are little rubber pigs and your points depend on how they fall. Leaning Jowler, Razerback, etc.

  184. >>>>I highly recommend Cards Against Humanity.

    Oh fuck yeah. Easily the best way to spend a day with your most warped friends.

    Sounds like a great idea for TITS

  185. Sounds like a great idea for TITS

    I propose shots after each round.

  186. Board game at a meetup? It will never happen.

  187. It’s a card game.

  188. Nope.

  189. No card games? I guess that means strip poker is right out.

  190. Did anybody try to give anybody else some advice that they just didn’t want to hear today?

  191. “In other news, if you have a bunch of goofy and profane people to play party games with, I highly recommend Cards Against Humanity. I played the other night with some pals and we had a great time.”

    AKA lesbian underwear pillow fight.

  192. Does anyone not like hot lesbians?

    I mean that as a serious question.

  193. Lesbian underwear?

    Why?

  194. Ugly, resentful lesbians.

  195. Unfortunately I don’t know any actual lesbians. Do any of you?

    I wonder what the percentage of hot lipstick lesbians is versus the percentage of angry burly crew-cut lesbians.

    Everyone in the beaver dam!!

  196. Ugly, resentful lesbians.

    Rule 34 and all that, but thankfully that’s an awfully narrow niche compared to hot, breasty MILF lesbians.

  197. I find hot lesbians kind of depressing. Like seeing a Ferrari hauling groceries. You just know it’s a waste of potential.

  198. Hot lesbians is a myth.

  199. I think all hot lesbians are bisexual. Otherwise why be hot?

    Discuss.

  200. I’ve known a few lesbians, and they tend to fall somewhere on the continuum between “hot lipstick lesbians” and “angry burly crew-cut lesbians.” It’s like a bell curve or some shit.

  201. Hot “lesbian” = gay for pay. Doesn’t exist under other circumstances unless they’re just too young to have fully dyked up.

    I moved three bookshelves today and built a fourth. Three more to build, then I should finally have room in my office to actually use it.

  202. I know loads of lesbians.

  203. I know one lesbian who is cute. She’d be cuter if she didn’t have all that metal stuck in her face.

  204. Lipstick lesbos are like unicorns. There are legends.

  205. “Hot lesbians is a myth.”

    Despite your horrific grammar I think you may be correct.

    The only time I’ve seen two hot chicks making out was in this one educational video I saw in high school sex-ed.

    I thought to myself “No way that’s real”.

    Then I put that visual in the mental file cabinet in case I needed it later.

    Hot lesbians. You are the unicorns of men’s dreams.

    Skittles.

  206. I moved three bookshelves today and built a fourth. Three more to build, then I should finally have room in my office to actually use it.

    I really don’t see what this has to do with lesbians.

  207. “I moved three bookshelves today and built a fourth. Three more to build, then I should finally have room in my office to actually use it.”

    Said the angry burly crew-cut lesbian.

  208. I really don’t see what this has to do with lesbians.

    He’s saying that MMM may be a little late.

  209. “I know one lesbian who is cute. She’d be cuter if she didn’t have all that metal stuck in her face.”

    Ugh. The body piercings and tats have got to go.

    Men should have tattoos and be ugly, fat and mean and probably stupid.

    Women have such a higher calling than that.

  210. There are red sheer a surprising number of lesbian couples in Lapeer. None would be of interest to Rosetta or the rest old the H2 gang.

  211. Rosetta is a pretty hot lesbian if you can get past his hairy legs.

  212. Kindle typos. It won’t even let me see what I’m typing

  213. Just for the record, I’m not a lesbian of any sort.

  214. He’s saying that MMM may be a little late.

    Pardon my cis-normative ignorance, but if a tranny trans womyn likes other womyn, is she a lesbian?

  215. Feminism: Hey let’s give a bicycle to a fish and degrade ourselves to dirt like the dumbest man we know!!

    TAKE THAT MEN!!!

    This public service announcement was brought to you by the members of the National Organization for Women who are all bitter and fat and stupid and lesbian and not in the good way and potentially are all trannies.

    Nice balls, feminists. Maybe Sean will suck them for you.

  216. Then I put that visual in the mental file cabinet in case I needed it later.

  217. He’s saying that MMM may be a little late.

    Nope, shed-yuled for 557am.

  218. *tackles Hot Rocket*

    *gives her the f(x) = (x2 − 1)(x − 2 − i)2 / (x2 + 2 + 2i).*

    Zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz………

  219. *gives her the f(x) = (x2 − 1)(x − 2 − i)2 / (x2 + 2 + 2i).*

    You say the nicest things.

  220. Hahaha. I can barely add.

  221. I remember in grade school when we learned about adding numbers and the plus sign and shit for a couple of weeks. I loved that.

    Then the teacher started talking about the minus sign and subtraction. I hated that. It was negative and I don’t like negative bullshit.

    That’s when I started smoking pot and sleeping with your mom.

  222. Long day on tap for me tomorrow, so good night, good people. And Wiser.

  223. Nice balls, feminists. Maybe Sean will suck them for you.

    I don’t suck balls. I sell them. Mostly to Asian men.

  224. Bartender: Hey you, fat fuck, what do you want to drink?

    Xbrad: I’ll have a Tsiolkovsky on the rocks.

    Bouncer: This isn’t a lesbian bar. Let’s go.

    Leon: Hahaha! Dummy. *takes shirt off, dances with goat*

  225. Sean, what’s in your fridge right now?

  226. I need to hit the sack.

    G’night friends.

  227. Eight cans of Coke Zero, eleven cans of Lemon Flavor Diet Brisk Iced Tea, six cans of Diet 7Up; one jar each of peanut butter, marmalade, and strawberry jam; a bottle of vinegar, a clear Lucite buttplug, two single serving cups of guacamole, two large packages of string cheese, one 1974 Chrysler Imperial; a bottle each of soy sauce, Sriracha, Cholula, Tabasco, and mayo; two different kinds of mustard, a severed human foot (left), a package of strawberry flavored cookies left over from Christmas, a 1966 Topps Hoyt Wilhelm baseball card, two bottles of ketchup, and a Ziploc bag full of fast food hot sauce packets.

    Why do you ask?

  228. Dangit, he couldn’t wait until I was done taking inventory.

  229. Curse my thoroughness!

    *shakes fists at sky*

    THOOOOORRRRRRROUGHNESSSSSSS!!!!!

  230. A Chrysler Imperial?

    HAHAHAHA!

    Worst car ever for picking up chicks. You would have better luck with the string cheese.

    No offense xbrad.

  231. No problem. String cheese works surprisingly well.

  232. Eight cans of Coke Zero, eleven cans of Lemon Flavor Diet Brisk Iced Tea, six cans of Diet 7Up; one jar each of peanut butter, marmalade, and strawberry jam; a bottle of vinegar, a clear Lucite buttplug, two single serving cups of guacamole, two large packages of string cheese, one 1974 Chrysler Imperial; a bottle each of soy sauce, Sriracha, Cholula, Tabasco, and mayo; two different kinds of mustard, a severed human foot (left), a package of strawberry flavored cookies left over from Christmas, a 1966 Topps Hoyt Wilhelm baseball card, two bottles of ketchup, and a Ziploc bag full of fast food hot sauce packets.

    Dieting is a scam.

  233. a surprising number of lesbian couples in Lapeer. None would be of interest to Rosetta or the rest old the H2 gang.

    So you’re saying IB is all over that like flies on cowpies.

  234. Sean, what is in your golf bag right now?

    The one you keep in a black trash sack wrapped with duct tape in the storage unit in Barstow.

  235. “A Chrysler Imperial? HAHAHAHA! Worst car ever for picking up chicks.”

    But an OUTSTANDING car for “dealing” with chicks if you could just get them into the backseat with you.

  236. I dispute the opnion above that they’re no good looking lezbos. I’ve known some. At least I think they were good looking. Disclaimer: There may have been pot and beer involved in this assessment.

  237. Opinion too!

  238. What’s the difference between Orwell eating a sausage and a retarded dog licking another retarded dog’s butthole?

  239. I don’t have a golf bag.

  240. Are we playing the random comment game?

  241. Your golf bag is NOT a vagina.

  242. Are we playing the random comment game?

    My hovercraft is full of eels.

  243. What’s the difference between Orwell eating a sausage and a retarded dog licking another retarded dog’s butthole?

    I suspect this is a zen koan, like asking “What is the sound of one hand clapping.” To answer is to misunderstand true enlightenment.

    That, or the difference is the color of the mustard.

  244. Because the moon has such a smaller mass than Earth (and thus less gravity), orbital velocity around it is much slower. A roughly circular orbit around Earth takes about 90 minutes. A roughly circular orbit around the moon takes about 2 hours.

  245. I don’t have a golf bag.

    That’s what everyone in Cell Block D always says.

  246. A roughly circular orbit around the woman at the bar takes about 30 minutes, or sometimes less once you figure out she’s a lesbian.

  247. I know of this one guy, his name is the xbrad.
    He can’t chew his food cuz his teeth all done went bad.
    He used to drive a tank.
    His breath it fucking stanks.
    Your penis he will yank.
    And he ain’t got no bank.

    Get this ear worm in your head and those lyrics sound better.

  248. Dominic’s enterprises rarely prospered.

  249. After 5:00 and no derp? It’s like I don’t even know this place any more.

  250. 4:09 ehhhh clever I guess.


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