MMM 129: running late

5 weeks of this crap, now. One drug or another — sometimes several — every damn day. It will never end, I will never ever feel better, and I pray for an end to whatever seasonal hell created this. Early death or early Winter, I’m not picky.

Uno.
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Dos.
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Tres.
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Cuatro.
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Cinco.
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Seis, siete, ocho, nueve.
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Diez.
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Once, con calcetines.
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Doce.
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316 Comments

  1. Finally.

  2. Categorized as “misogyny” because it features a woman cleaning, which we all know is hateful patriarchy. Only men should clean, because fairness.

  3. I did snatches the other day.

  4. Sounds like you need to visit the allergy doc, leon.

    It’s too late. The only thing an allergist can do is determine what I’m allergic to and then start immunotherapy with low doses of it. The time for that is when I’m not already in chronic stress from the allergen.

  5. Morning, children. Good poat, Leon.

  6. I’m pretty sure the doc would have something more than that up his sleeve.

  7. Ol Moses seems to be better today. Still run down. He could just be wore out from the other dogs this weekend, but he didn’t eat anything yesterday.

  8. I’m glad we finally got a new poat, so Car in could speak up.

  9. I wasn’t going to comment on that stinky old poat .

    I have so much time off this week. Woot. Just have to get through today ,

  10. Michigan was in danger of turning red in 2016, so it’s not surprising.

  11. I finally got the Sunday shift thing cleared up. Plus I needed Friday off. Three shifts. Almost like I’m on vacation. I would try to pick up a shift, but the money sucks this week anyway,

  12. I haven’t checked, but isn’t Poland already in the same invaded state as the rest of Eurabia?

  13. Good morning, peeps

  14. The rodent infesting the highest office in the country is not content with being the de facto president for 8 years. She wants to officially run (down) the joint now.

    http://m.weeklystandard.com/blogs/valerie-jarrett-wont-rule-out-running-office_795823.html

  15. Carin, I am no expert but I would guess that people who work during the week (as opposed to the non working 47-52%) are the people who go to restaurants on weekend. Ergo, more business and better tips on the weekend. Unless the restaurant is near office complexes and attracts lunch crowd.

    So I would think weekend shifts would be more coveted.

  16. Yeah, but those weekend shifts are on weekends, when everything is going on!

    If we could all just agree to eating in restaurants from 9-5 M-F (except holidays, of course) we would all benefit.

    Amirite?

  17. “Tres.” did a piss poor job of tucking his dick.

  18. On the other hand, “Uno.” has a nice looking ass.

  19. I’m partial to cuatro doing the backbend thingie with the chain link fence. Good poat Leon.

  20. Once is my favorite.

  21. mmmm sweet sweet liberal tears…..

  22. The rodent infesting the highest office in the country is not content with being the de facto president for 8 years. She wants to officially run (down) the joint now.

    I’m not so sure that anyone outside of the D.C. bubble is going to vote for someone who was born in Iran, no matter how long he/she may have been in this country.

  23. TiFW,
    She was born in Iran, but to American parents. I doubt people will take that as a big negative.
    In fact, if we know how the obama team operates, they will successfully use this to tar republicans, even without republicans even attempting to make an issue out of it.

  24. Gotta give those dudes props for their tucking skillz.

  25. Comment by clintbird on June 30, 2014 10:34 am
    On the other hand, “Uno.” has a nice looking ass.
    ==========
    That is quite an understatement, it’s spectacular.

    ===============
    Comment by leoncaruthers on June 30, 2014 11:11 am
    Once is my favorite.
    ==============
    I dunno, her thighs look awfully thin for you. Must be the socks.

  26. I’m not so sure that anyone outside of the D.C. bubble is going to vote for someone who was born in Iran, no matter how long he/she may have been in this country.

    Why is Iran any different from Kenya?

  27. Why is Iran any different from Kenya?

    Iran will have nukes. So Iran will get more cred.

  28. She is a little slight of thigh for me, true, but the socks and long hair (and the flexibility) more than compensate.

  29. I honestly never thought anyone could out-narcissist Obama, but damn, Hillary sure comes really, really close:

    “Bill bit his lip and said, “We all have a right to feel sorry for ourselves from time to time. But you’ve got history to make.”

    “Right now I’m feeling like they can all go f**k themselves,” Hillary said, referring to the media.

    “I know the country needs us, but they aren’t acting like they deserve us. Just f**k ‘me.”

    Ummmm, about that last part? No. Not even with Tres’ penis.

    http://tinyurl.com/op43zmz

  30. I’m guessing Cinco has a pretty small penis, given the good job tucking “she” did. I was about to say I could drink enough to hit it, but then I noticed the freaky mole thingy under the right “boob.”

  31. Yes, I’m sure you’d genuinely be picky about a small benign melanoma.

  32. You left out the preceding paragraphs, Wiserdouche, it’s the glue that holds the whole story together:

    While Hillary was nursing her headache, Bill Clinton and a family friend came into the kitchen. Bill poured Hillary a glass of green tea, and massaged her shoulders.

    HAHAHAHAHAH! There is no fucking way in hell.

    I hope she wins so we can get more and more stories like this from The White House.

    “China just invaded Japan…” Hillary said under her breath, as Bill gently rubbed her feet and looked at her with his moist, sad eyes.

    “It will be OK, Hill. The Navy can take care of the Pacific for one night. Let’s make s’mores in the Lincoln Room”.

    GOLD, Jerry.

  33. You left out the preceding paragraphs, Wisergenius, it’s the glue that holds the whole story together:

    Yeah, I always pictured Bill as they loving, caring, devoted husband type.

    Watching him go completely insane if he gets back into the White House is almost enough to consider voting for Hildebeast.

    Almost….

  34. Bill poured Hillary a glass of green tea, and massaged her shoulders.

    #thathappened

  35. While Hillary was nursing her headache, Bill Clinton and a family friend came into the kitchen. Bill poured Hillary a glass of green tea, and massaged her shoulders.

    Pix or GTFO.

    BTW, Chase Bank now operates as Thought Police. “1984” was a satire, guys. Not an instruction manual.

  36. Yeah, I always pictured Bill as they loving, caring, devoted husband type.

    Just ask Juanita Broaddrick.

  37. The butthurt on the left is epic today. I haven’t seen them this bent out of shape since Bush stole the election in 2000.

  38. Well, they didn’t say who the “family friend” was, my guess is a 22 year old 6′ blonde entertainment specialist type lady, and they didn’t say exactly who’s shoulders Bill was rubbing.

    So, it could be truthy.

  39. Heh, there’s been some pics of all the Catholics that voted against womyn’s rights today!

  40. *boop*

  41. How does this SCOTUS decision address the rampant rape culture at Hobby Lobby?
    I found hotbeds of rape culture in my broom closet, my glove compartment, and my refrigerator. I don’t know how Dick Cheney managed this.

  42. Maybe women should organize a safe-sex fuck-in at every Hobby Lobby across the country. In the glitter aisle. JUST A THOUGHT.

    Comment at AOS.

  43. I heard a hilarious phone call into the Dennis Prager show. A proggtard claimed Hobby Lobby is “hypocritical” because on the one hand they won’t pay for abortifacients but on the other hand when a woman works at HL she is routinely exposed to unspecified things that will induce abortions on the job.

    After my head quit hurting, I decided that this point of view was at least novel.

  44. As a Catholic, I’m on record as being against womyn’s rights.

  45. I would also vote to end women’s suffrage, if permitted.

    They shouldn’t have to suffer. It’s not right.

  46. I induce abortions on my womyn employees all of the time. Maybe if I didn’t rape them so much…

  47. List of things to do today

    1. Buy glitter and scrap booking stuff at Hobby Lobby
    2. Have lunch at Chik-Fil-A
    3. Lynch a random homosexual
    4. Laundry

  48. In case you care, thread is 50% off at Hobby Lobby right now.

    I might stock up.

  49. 4. Laundry

    You should have your Chinese slave do that for you.

  50. List of worst things in the world in descending order

    1. Hobby Lobby decision
    2. Citizens United decision
    3. Columbus arriving in the new world
    4. American Revolution
    …skipping down…
    68046. 9/11/2001

  51. In case you care, thread is 50% off at Hobby Lobby right now.

    You say “thread,” I say “fine gauge lynching rope.”

  52. George, I’m disappointed. I don’t see anything directed toward the oppression of blacks or Latinos.

  53. In case one or two justices retire before 2016, it’s a comfort to know we have a man like Mitch McConnell ready to lead opposition against Obama’s appointees.

    /ostrich mode

  54. *steps away from computer*
    *oppresses blacks and latinos*
    *takes refreshing sip of Sanka*

  55. Good thing your list was for today and not yesterday. I want my H8CHKN on Sunday!!!

  56. My soap operas feature a fair number of latinas I’d be happy to oppress, IYKWIMAITYD.

  57. It’s a hate crime that Hobby Lobby won’t pay for transsexuals’ abortifacients. She-males are otherkin too.

  58. Happily, Leon, I’m oppressing the shit out of a Latina today:

    http://xbradtc.com/2014/06/30/load-heat-eva-mendes-2/

  59. She made The Spirit almost watchable.

  60. She-males are otherkin too.

    Only if they’re magical faerie she-males.

  61. Even xbrad is bigoted in his oppression. Has he similarly oppressed transsexuals on his blog? No, he has not.

  62. Only if they’re magical faerie she-males.

    Name one who isn’t.

  63. I would also like to oppress Jennifer Esposito, if possible.

    But mostly I would like to oppress Carmen Villalobos.

  64. I’m gonna just leave this here morsel for Tushar.

    http://genderneutralpronoun.wordpress.com/tag/lgbt/

  65. Is it moral to oppress your girlfriend before marriage?

  66. *boop*

  67. Maybe next week for Jennifer, Leon.

  68. This piece was written before today’s decision, but makes an interesting read.

    Labor’s hopes had rested on the thin assumption that Scalia, who has actually affirmed such “Fair Share” arrangements in the past, would remain true to his prior statements. But the prior role of Alito in Knox as well as the fact that the Court’s typical division of opinions during the past week has already seen efforts issued by Justice Breyer (recess appointments) and Roberts (abortion clinic buffer zones) makes it all the more likely that Alito will be given the right to decide the fate of our public unions in Harris. There is no doubt that the ultimate decision could cut one of several different ways. But, as Rick Hasen, a University of California professor puts it, “Anti-union” is [Alito’s] signature issue.”

    And if that doesn’t scare the hell out of you, it should.

    The democrats consider public employees theirs. We already knew this, but this article is so blatant about it.

    It’s Daily Kos, but a worthwhile read.

    http://www.dailykos.com/story/2014/06/28/1310273/-Monday-Could-Be-The-End-Of-The-Democratic-Party-As-We-Know-It?detail=facebook

  69. http://imgur.com/gallery/7oN8j

  70. Afternoon, racists.

  71. Oh my fuckin God angry lefties are yelling at SCOTUSblog on Twitter thinking it’s the twitter account for the actual Supreme Court.

    The replies are hilarious..

    https://twitter.com/SCOTUSblog

  72. I’ll have you know that I am not just a racist – I’m a H8er, too.

  73. Two boats were destroyed by a fire Sunday at the South Benson Marina that produced smoke that was visible miles away and that trapped boaters on the dock, according to a statement from the Fairfield Fire Department.

    Ummmmm…. “trapped on a dock?”

    Like… they had nowhere to go? like, maybe…. the water???

    Future Darwin Award winners right here….

    http://tinyurl.com/o2od5lp

  74. I mean, seriously, Dave’s no rocket surgeon, but I bet he could have figured out an escape route here…..

  75. But, but…their clothes and cellphones would be just ruined!

  76. Don’t fall for it, Dave.

  77. >>I mean, seriously, Dave’s no rocket surgeon, but I bet he could have figured out an escape route here…..

    The escape route would have found Dave first.

  78. “Fall”

  79. Mr. TiFW has been informed that if he doesn’t want to lose any more peaches off of his tree, he’d better swing by the store tonight and pick up something to kill whatever is eating all of the fruit.

    Those granola-munching organic garden lovin’ types can kiss my fat white Southern ass – those bugs are gonna die…..

  80. I must have sweat off about 15 lbs today!

  81. You should probably drink some Yuengling.

  82. Did you put balls into holes today, Master Chief?

  83. It’s worse, wiser. Why couldn’t most of those folks just get back into the boats not on fire and go to another dock temporarily?

  84. Two boats were destroyed by a fire Sunday at the South Benson Marina that produced smoke that was visible miles away and that trapped boaters on the dock, according to a statement from the Fairfield Fire Department.

    Just sit right down and you’ll hear a tale
    A tale of a fateful dock
    Of boaters who’d rather breathe smoke
    Than swim an icky loch

  85. Why couldn’t most of those folks just get back into the boats not on fire and go to another dock temporarily?

    You mean… actually drive the boat????

    Oh dear no, that’s was simply not an option. The crew had taken the day off and besides, the white wine wasn’t chilled yet.

  86. Of boaters who’d rather breathe smoke
    Than swim an icky loch

    Oh, absolutely no doubt that was their reasoning.

    Either that or they thought the fire would follow them as they attempted to swim away.

    ‘Cause fire does that.

  87. I read that the dock fire refused to provide boaters abortifacients as part of the slip fees.

  88. The one guy that jumped in was rescued with only minor injuries.

  89. First, Citizens United. Then a boat fire, and now Hobby Lobby?

    Will the evil of George W. Bush never end?!?

  90. Conversation is going to be interesting in the ghetto bar tonight.

  91. I didn’t think it was possible to H8 TFG more than I already do, but his response to the kidnapping and murder of the Jewish teens in Israel is just so typical of the Thinskinned POS in the WH.

  92. You all are in fine form today.

  93. Pepe!!!

  94. Oso, that’s his response to an American citizen kidnapped and murdered by Hamas.

  95. When [State Department spokeswoman Jen Psaki was] asked if Hamas involvement in the slaying of the three boys, as Netanyahu contends, would finally convince the administration to cut off aid to the Palestinian unity government, she replied, “We do look at all kinds of information as it relates to our relationship with the Palestinians — our relationship with any — any entity that we work with.”

    “So, I’m not going to make a prediction. I don’t know what the outcome will be of the final findings.”

    That’s the way to put the fear into Hamas, Jen-Jen.

  96. I will outlive Obama, and I will make a pilgrimage to his grave site.

    And I will piss on it.

    He’s going to be on my just-retired tour of presidential piss sites.

    FDR is first.

  97. You may have to take a number, Leon.

  98. From Powerline:

    UPDATE: To say that today’s decisions were narrowly-based may understate the case. Noted appellate lawyer Mark Arnold writes, about Hobby Lobby:

    A meaningless decision. The less restrictive alternative that the majority settled on is a certification by Hobby Lobby that it opposes contraceptive coverage, after which the insurance company must provide that coverage for free. Meaning that the premium charged to Hobby Lobby will necessarily include the cost of the free contraception. All smoke and mirrors.

    Many have already noted SCOTUS didn’t make the decision based of 1st Amendment grounds. The wheels of tyranny continue to grind.

  99. I would have preferred a ruling based on biology:

    Fertility is not a disease state for any animal, therefore birth control is not properly classed as health care, and is thus definitionally not subject to the Affordable Care Act.

  100. But, but, but, Viagra is covered!

  101. XB, I’m still pissed about American diplomats standing by in Sudan and being lectured to by some pissant gov’t thugs. The fact that one of the youth’s was American enrages me.

  102. Yeah, the lib gnashing of teeth on Facebook is noteworthy.

  103. You may have to take a number, Leon.

    That line is gonna be longer than the lines for the iPhone 6

  104. Leon, do you dare to aver that a fetus isn’t a tumor outside of your privileged artificial Weltanschauung?!?
    *gasp*
    *sound of Sandra Fluke’s body slumping to the floor*

  105. I’m fine with dropping viagra coverage. Both are lifestyle drugs, IMO.

  106. I do so dare to aver.

  107. Viagra (and birth control pills, too) can be used in “off label” manner for therapeutic purposes.

  108. Meaning that the premium charged to Hobby Lobby will necessarily include the cost of the free contraception.

    smh…

    Ummm, hey, you stupid fucktards…..

    HL’s insurance already covered contraception. Always has. This was about abortifacients. Completely different.

    It really fucking pisses me off when these dumb fucks try to say that HL was trying to avoid paying for contraception. That is an stone-cold lie.

  109. “Therapeutic”

  110. That line will be longer than the line for cancer treatment at the VA.

  111. That line will be longer than the lines for toilet paper in the old Soviet Union

  112. Almost as long as my johnson on Viagra.

  113. It’s unclear from Powerline if the insurance companies will still have to issue coverage for abortifacients. Those guys are pretty sharp lawyers there; it depends on the details in the opinion. Wonder if Mark Levin will address this.

  114. Also, the argument that Hobby Lobby is trying to pick what laws they will obey is a good one. LOL worthy, that is.

    An analogy was made: Hobby Lobby can no longer prosecute for shoplifting, because you are supposed to give to the poor.

    o_O

  115. That line will be like this:

  116. Viagra (and birth control pills, too) can be used in “off label” manner for therapeutic purposes.

    I recommed crushed and snorted off a hooker’s ass.

  117. The professional left got a snuggle struggle today.

    Let’s hope for a repeat tomorrow.

  118. Could someone please explain the dismissal of Zimmerman’s suit against NBC? KTHX

  119. That line will be longer than the one to Sandra Fluke’s bedroom

  120. >>Could someone please explain the dismissal of Zimmerman’s suit against NBC? KTHX

    The court said it wasn’t malicious. Just a little “oopsie” by the audio department.

  121. Viagra (and birth control pills, too) can be used in “off label” manner for therapeutic purposes.

    Funny how that would normally be considered drug abuse, but if Sandra Slut wants to gulp Estradiol for weight control or some other garbage, it’s a Sacred Right.

  122. Hobby Lobby was the SCOTUS telling the Admin it has to follow the laws that Congress passed.

    Remember, ACA didn’t say jack about the “mandate.” HHS made it up out of whole cloth. But Congress had already passed the RFRA, which, in conjunction with the Dictionary Act, which is where the “corporations are people” meme comes from, says that corporations can indeed hold religious viewpoints and beliefs. RFRA says that the government can only impose a burden on the corporation if 1. There is a compelling government interest (which was not argued here), and 2. if the burden is the burdensome means.

    Hobby Lobby was decided on #2. HHS simply never even explored other, less burdensome means of addressing #1. Ergo, RFRA was not followed, and HL won.

  123. The Zimmerman thing irks because the court says Zimmerman was a public person, when the whole point of the suit was that he became one as a result of NBC altering his statements.

  124. The court said it wasn’t malicious. Just a little “oopsie” by the audio department.

    And when I poisoned your dog, it wasn’t because he shit on my flowerbed, it was because I like giving him treats.

  125. I think it’s referred to as Absence of Malice.

    Or, more accurately in this particular case, a fucking bullshit ruling that totally ignores reality.

  126. Absent the public figure status, Zimmerman wouldn’t need to show malice (though I think the judge was mistaken on that issue as well).

  127. Maybe if Zimmerman had waved around a hi-cap magazine on Meet The Press, he would have been victorious.

  128. >>>the court says Zimmerman was a public person,

    Yeah, I don’t quite get how that’s even a defense for what NBC did. They intentionally edited audio to completely alter the underlying meaning of a conversation . And their defense is “well, he’s a public person now, so it’s cool.”

    Somebody needs to read the Carol Burnett vs. The National Enquirer ruling again.

  129. And you people wonder why I drink and get cut off by 6PM on Sundays! (It may have been closer to 7. Afterwork Bloody Mary was pretty good. Dan thinks I shouldn’t try to match him drink for drink. Heightist!)

  130. George, I saw that. Unbelievable how one’s mind wanders in bullshit territory when it is not engaged in constructive pursuits

  131. >>>Hobby Lobby was the SCOTUS telling the Admin it has to follow the laws that Congress passed.

    The response to which by the Narcissist-in-Chief is “Oh yeah? Well fuck you, bitches. AMNESTY BY EXECUTIVE ORDER!”

  132. So yesterday I picked up one end of a long and heavy sofa and started hoisting it up above my head. My two kids jumped on the sofa for a thrill ride.

    Now I have that nice post-workout muscle pain in my chest and sideboob area ( I think fitness snobs call it lats and pectorals).

  133. ( I think fitness snobs call it lats and pectorals).

    That’s no way to talk about Leon and Car in.

  134. Democratium is strong. I think XB retweeted my feelings about these POS earlier. One of his Follows encouraged D-rats to resign if they concede all legislative power to the Executive Branch.

  135. Lats are on your back (latissimus dorsi). “Sideboob” is serratus.

  136. Leon, I stand corrected and chastened.

    **bows deeply
    **the sound of a chinese gong reverberates

  137. Greetings, Constitutional Lawyers.

  138. Some good stuff here, in case nobody’s linked it already:

    http://thefederalist.com/2014/06/30/6-stupid-arguments-about-hobby-lobby-from-dumb-liberals/

  139. You got pectorals, right, though. That’s not nothing.

    Serratus are tricky to work after a certain point. I don’t remember the last time mine were sore. They stop being the sticking/sore point for most movements relatively quickly.

  140. Evening Hostages.

  141. Tushar is Indian Superman

  142. My boss told me today that the company will not pay for my Cinamax subscription. Why are they denying me access to the soft-core titties that I need?!

  143. Tushar, had a very interesting conversation with a (red dot) indian on my last trip to San Jose.

    He’s from the Kashmir region and gave me a couple of movies to watch so I could understand ‘India’.

    I gave him ‘Blue Velvet’, ‘Caddyshack’ and ‘Animal House’.

    Just joking, I’ll post his recommendation after I go die in the heat/humidity of watching my daughter’s softball game.

  144. TJ,

    If you had been to the DFW meat up you would know that Tushar is the ‘Indian Assassin’.

  145. Does this mean I don’t have to pay for the Pussycat condoms from the dispenser in the 7-11 bathroom?

    Thanks. Obama!

  146. Sean, funny stuff. If by funny I mean seriously depressing. And I do. Kind of like the Clenis talking about embassy attacks.

  147. My boss told me today that the company will not pay for my Cinamax subscription. Why are they denying me access to the soft-core titties that I need?!

    Your snark is good, but it needs more urgency. Like ZOMG THEY BANNED TITTAYS!!!!!

  148. Tushar?

  149. My boss told me today that the company will not pay for my Cinamax subscription. Why are they denying me access to the soft-core titties that I need?!

    If you were denied a subscription to a gay porn channel, you would have an open and shut case.

  150. http://youtu.be/f5Pjo0WjBcs

    I barely recognized Margot Kidder.

  151. heh
    *walks around the house for the rest of the night with arm raised like Indian Superman. Finds it difficult but not impossible to make a drink that way.*

  152. I barely recognized Margot Kidder.

    She looks a lot different when she’s not sleeping under a bush.

  153. I think Dan is trying to kill me. He’s watching NBC news. I may pop a blood vessel. I’ve seen the future, and I’m my Dad.

  154. From the Annals of Race-Based Bootlicking

    “I am just here to support the President of the United States,” [Chris] Rock had said at the event. “The President of the United States is, you know, our boss. He’s also, you know, the president and the first lady are kinda like the mom and the dad of the country and when your dad says something, you listen.”

  155. Perhaps Chris Rock found it too difficult to substitute “boss” with “massa.”

  156. Dan just changed the channel. Said I was “Scaring the dogs”

  157. Indian superman is cringeworthy.

  158. GO did Chris Rock listen to W?

  159. Javanese is a race?

  160. Apparently our oldest is dating the town bike. Paula reviewed his phone messages and pictures. Her dad will be notified. Paula is eating Oreos due to stress.

  161. GO did Chris Rock listen to W?

    If I were Chris Rock I would just call you a “wetback” and everyone would laugh.

  162. Nicely played, Tushar.

  163. Mojado.

  164. >> I mean, seriously, Dave’s no rocket surgeon, but I bet he could have figured out an escape route here…..

    I have a plan.

  165. Javanese is a race in Indonesia, which is a different country than India.

  166. It is the same as Indiana, though.

  167. I thought it was an ethnicity. I get so confused. Krakatoa East of Java. (Only reason I knew it wasn’t coffee)

  168. Krakatoa is actually west of Java. Srsly.

  169. Crap. Did I mess up my movie title? NM I’ll Bing it.

  170. Hollywood lied to me? WTF?

  171. I know, huh?

  172. How’s the coffee in Java?

  173. Surprisingly bad, I’ve heard.

  174. I heard Sean’s “I know, huh?” in Spanglish.

  175. Java had some seriously bad troubles when Krakatoa went all Krakaboom.

  176. I suspect that’s why the coffee still sucks.

  177. I think Facedouche and Twitter melted this morning. One of the lab techs sought me out to tell me the news.

  178. I heard Sean’s “I know, huh?” in Spanglish.

    Órale.

  179. This is an Engrish Onry Brog!

  180. Name this Hostage:

  181. At one point this morning my twitter feed looked like a slot machine at the Rio. Today was a busy day so I couldn’t keep up too much

  182. MJ.

  183. Heh, Cyn didn’t read today’s poat.

  184. Oh, I read it… the English parts anyway.

  185. Chris Rock is just a little bitch

    Got it

  186. my twitter feed looked like a slot machine at the Rio.

    Word. I tried for a bit then decided it was better to get back to work and let y’all summarize it for me. (Summary: liberal foot stomping, tears, and temper tantrums. Sort of like a two-year-old who needs a nap and a diaper change.)

  187. I’m pretty sure I could kick his ass.

  188. What’s a town bike?

  189. Everyone rides it.

  190. Everyone’s had a ride.

    I dated her once.

  191. Roamy, that was just President Mom jeans!

  192. *throws fish sticks to Oso’s wieners.

  193. Roamy: If you don’t like Hobby Lobby’s stance, then get another job!

    Rabid Obama fan: You can’t find another job in this economy!

    Conservative lab tech: I thought the economy was getting better? How many summers of recovery have we had now?

  194. If you have cable tv and are complaining that other people won’t buy your abortifacients, maybe it’s an issue of priorities.

  195. Conservative lab tech: I thought the economy was getting better? How many summers of recovery have we had now?

    HA! I like this person.

  196. Roamy: If you don’t like Hobby Lobby’s stance, then get another job!

    Rabid Obama fan: You can’t find another job in this economy!

    Conservative lab tech: I thought the economy was getting better? How many summers of recovery have we had now?
    <<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<

    LOLOLOLOLOLOL

  197. My wieners aren’t gay fish!

  198. I’ll bet they’ll eat fish sticks, though.

  199. I like where roamy works. There’s only 2 sane conservatives in my office.

  200. Anybody that doesn’t think this mandate was an absolute dick in your face fuck you religionists assault on Christians wasn’t paying attention.

    You will comply and change your thinking or you will suffer the consequences.

  201. Dan says Ginger would, but MA wouldn’t. MA doesn’t like salami.

  202. Did anybody find more than they bargained for at the bottom of anybody else’s tub of popcorn today?

  203. Dave, I’ve got a whole list of libs on Facebook that will argue that til you’re blue in the face. And you don’t even have to listen, cuz they’re doing it right now.

  204. 2 of them are PhDs, and a lot have master’s degrees in various fields.

  205. EWTN and the Little Sisters of the Poor are still fighting the mandate.

  206. There were a lot of stupid reactions, but leave it to Nan to come up with a humdinger:

  207. I listened to Al Kresta on the way home (Ave Maria Radio/EWTN). Today’s ruling may be a good omen for them, but we won’t know until October.

  208. >> And you don’t even have to listen, cuz they’re doing it right now.

    The thing I like most about me is fuck them.

    The thing I hate is one justice decided whether the First Amendment means anything or not.

  209. What *is* it with the Ph.D’s? Too many years marinating in the cesspool of liberalism they call college?

  210. >> What *is* it with the Ph.D’s?

    A cocoon. A comfy safe place where reason cannot challenge feelings.

  211. This should’ve been a 9-0. The fact it wasn’t is troubling.

  212. Comment by Sean M. on June 30, 2014 9:40 pm

    I looked at Nancy Lugosi’s comment forwards, backwards, sideways, upside-down, inside-out. I looked at it with a reducing glass, a magnifier, a pentaprism and a fresnel lens, and I still can’t make it read like a rational thought.

  213. This should’ve been a 9-0.

    I know, right?

  214. My wieners aren’t gay fish!

    That doesn’t mean they don’t self-identify as such.

  215. Heh. On a lighter note, a chick I went to college with posted this on facechimp:

    Based on upwards of 20 minutes of viewing it every four years, soccer seems a lot like the last hour of a girls night out: The main activities seem to be bitching about things and falling down and crying.

  216. If you have cable tv and are complaining that other people won’t buy your abortifacients, maybe it’s an issue of priorities.

    Naturally. I can’t understand why other people aren’t also buying my cable TV.

  217. Gov’t officials trying to buy supplies for illegals in internment. Only had Visa. Sam’s only takes Visa as a debit. We get charged almost $4 a transaction by Visa. Gov’t flacks complained. Bentonville stepped in. We have to take Visa now. Hey fucknuts…this is why Membership and costs go up. We roll losses on to you.

  218. I looked at Nancy Lugosi’s comment forwards, backwards, sideways, upside-down, inside-out. I looked at it with a reducing glass, a magnifier, a pentaprism and a fresnel lens, and I still can’t make it read like a rational thought.

    Freedom is Slavery. Try it that way.

  219. Speaking of bitching about things and falling down and crying, I have my hotel reservations for T.I.T.S.M.U. Still working on the plane. Phat, come pick me up, I’ll buy dinner.

  220. Sometimes the water tries to find me. Neighbor cross the street, 6:30-ish CST today.

    The water crews have already done fixt it.

    The road crews will be here next January.

  221. The main activities seem to be bitching about things and falling down and crying.

    You mean all they do in John Boehner’s office is play soccer?

  222. >> Still working on the plane. Phat, come pick me up, I’ll buy dinner.

    That’s a pretty good deal Phat

  223. I have my hotel reservations for T.I.T.S.M.U

    Woooooo Hooooo!

  224. Gov’t officials trying to buy supplies for illegals in internment. Only had Visa. Sam’s only takes Visa as a debit. We get charged almost $4 a transaction by Visa. Gov’t flacks complained. Bentonville stepped in. We have to take Visa now.

    There are no more craven people in the face of gubmint than corporate officials.

  225. No wonder, George. Look what a vengeful government can do to one.

  226. I’d like a good internment.

  227. I guess the El Paso Sam’s keep running out of water. Gov’t workers are pressuring Sam’s Club to donate pallets of water. Why not Costco? Their the poster child for best retailers EVER!!!!

  228. They’re/HS

  229. On Monday evening, Hillary Clinton said that she found the Supreme Court’s ruling in the Hobby Lobbycase “deeply disturbing.” Clinton added that “it’s very troubling that a salesclerk at Hobby Lobby who needs contraception, which is pretty expensive…

    A quarter of a million per speech could buy a mountain of $9 per month contraception for oppressed ragamuffins like Sandra Slut if only Cankles would donate her paycheck from just one speech…

    Oh, wait. Hobby Lobby already pays for contraception and will continue to do so.

    I’m starting to think the Wife of The First Rapist isn’t all that honest.

  230. What would Hillary know about the cost of contraceptives she hasn’t needed em in 30 years

  231. ” come pick me up, I’ll buy dinner.”

    if the steak is rare – beware:

    http://tinyurl.com/ppefx8r

  232. Too bad she didn’t use them all her life. She forgot once apparently.

  233. I saw Taeina Saginata open for Jocelyn Pook at Lilith Fair in 1998.

  234. I have no grudge towards Chelsea. Just a kid carrying the sins of the father. Privilege happens. Not her fault.

  235. What would Hillary know about the cost of contraceptives she hasn’t needed em in 30 years

    *does math*

    *barfs*

  236. Don’t blame Chelsea for being born. But I blame her for claiming she doesn’t care about money, living in a $10.5 million Gramercy Park penthouse. Promise you she will be running for office on Daddy’s name. Just like a Kennedy.

  237. She’s just doing what’s expected of her. If you wanna blame somebody, blame Hillary. She told her to put on the “I’m you” act.

  238. During her remarks on the [HobbyLobby] topic, [Cankles] Clinton said “this element” is seen in foreign countries where women are deprived of rights. “Among those rights is control over their bodies, control over their own health care, control over the size of their families,” she said. “It is a disturbing trend that you see in a lot of societies that are very unstable, anti-democratic, and frankly prone to extremism.”

    I don’t think even Mr. Spock could unravel the illogic on display here.

  239. I’ll blame Chelsea for her adult decisions since she’s an adult, and a pretty entitled, selfish one.

  240. I worked until 10:00, that’s probably a double.

  241. I bet your employer didn’t even give you any free birth control pills, scott. You should burn the place down. To the ground.

  242. I can’t get worked up about Chelsea, knock yourself out.

  243. I’m guessing Scott has not much use for RU486. But you never know. Maybe it cures corns, or something.

  244. Conservatives have about 24 hours max to get out there with the truth that nobody is being denyed ANY kind of contraception or the narrative of lies will be set in stone.

    Shit, I remember earning $14,000/year and the pill was $40/month. That hurt bad but I would have laughed if someone said that my employer owed it to me to pay for it.

  245. Few people get worked up about Chelsea. Despite her $600k salary to be on NBC a handful of times, virtually no one has seen her. So we all win.

  246. Conservatives have about 24 hours max to get out there with the truth that nobody is being denyed ANY kind of contraception or the narrative of lies will be set in stone.

    Cyn ♥’s Lips

  247. If birth control is healthcare, why isn’t food?

  248. Scott, that’s just it, birth control isn’t health care.

  249. I’m writing in Scott for President and you can’t stop me.

  250. Cyn, do you know his full name?

  251. Ugh. 3 hours to get my DVD drive working again.

    I hate having to fix Microsoft’s problems.

  252. I got a phone and a pen.

  253. Um… is that important?

  254. It is if you want him to win.

  255. gross pictures

    http://twitpic.com/e7agu6

  256. I think “Scott” will suffice.

  257. I saw Knee Pulp open for QOTSA at Toads Place.

  258. I want to be scott’s VP. I will detract much attention.

  259. Imma laugh when Scott Baio becomes a write-in president.

  260. *plans run off with Joanie*

  261. Jager is a right!

  262. Democrats expect women to pay for their martini’s?

    War on women!

  263. *sends in 857,554 vomit-covered absentee ballots for scott”

  264. http://twitpic.com/e7agu6

    OMG HE GOT SHOT WITH AN ARROW

  265. Heh.

  266. Dave has a nice tibia.

    He could be a tibia Tuesday model.

  267. Why was there no mention of the legal equilibrium between free drinks on “ladies’ night” and you buy your own birth control you sluts?

    I’m starting to have real problem with these mouthy whores.

  268. A model citizen

  269. This one’s grosser

  270. War on whores.

  271. I can’t wait to see the tsunami of whore employees that quit Hobby Lobby tomorrow.

    *puts boards up on windows*

  272. No one sticks up for whores. That should be added to the GOP platform.

    Equal rights for whores!

  273. Ha ha ha.

  274. LauraW playing with the neighborhood kids…………

  275. Lawyers vote democrat.

    We need to embrace whores.

  276. Henry?

  277. Democrats don’t care about whores. At least not for more than three minutes at a time.

    Let’s bring them out of the shadows. Most of them are probably already citizens of this country and they could use a hand up but not upside their head this time.

    Actually whores are probably a natural constituency for conservatives.

    They are obviously entrepreneurial. They’re risk takers who want to earn a buck and they aren’t big fans of over-regulation. Live and let live.

    Rand Paul needs to hire me ASAP.

  278. “Comment by PepeLp on June 30, 2014 11:49 pm”

    Henry?

    That’s going on his wall.

  279. Democrats don’t care about whores.

    “You didn’t suck that.”

  280. “Three minutes”

  281. You should put the pic of Laura “playing” with the kids up on his wall. “Behave, or I’ll send you to Auntie Laura’s!”

  282. This idea would appeal to the religious right I believe as Jesus testified and helped the whores of his day.

    These are women struggling way more than that Georgetown grad skank Sandra Fluke.

    Let the democrats be for the sluts. Let us be for the whores. They need someone to speak for them and I think it should be the Republicans.

  283. “You didn’t suck that.”

    HAHAHAGAHAHAHA!!!!

    *appoints sean the Undersecretary of Whores’ Administration*

  284. Rosetta, you’re going to hate hearing this, but Jesus also told them to stop being whores. And they stopped.

  285. My first priority will be to set up a system of bonuses for whore administrators who cut down wait times for whore appointments.

  286. http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=6PYb_anBMus

  287. Sadly this idea is not the worst one I’ve heard the GOP embrace.

    Whores are Republicans. Pimps are Democrats.

    War on women indeed you fucking batterers!

    HANDS OFF THE WHORES DEMOCRATS!!

    SAY NO TO BITCH SLAP!!!

  288. http://tinyurl.com/oqmtqa9

  289. No one sticks up for whores. That should be added to the GOP platform.
    Equal rights for whores!

    Actually, the feminist left has taken up the pro-whore mantra. Excuse me, pro-sex-worker mantra.

  290. “Rosetta, you’re going to hate hearing this, but Jesus also told them to stop being whores. And they stopped.”

    I am aware. However none of us are the sweet Baby Jesus. I think giving these lost souls a voice and a place in our government process would be smiled upon by the management in Heaven.

    Agreed?

  291. Greatest Movie Ever.

  292. >> Greatest Movie Ever.

    Thank you.

  293. What has the feminist left done for whores?

    I submit they haven’t done jack shit for them.

    As with most of the portended constituencies of the left, those without power are left to rot by the side of the road. That is liberalism in a nutshell.

    They don’t give a fuck about anything or anyone but themselves. Why shouldn’t the right take up the cause of whores?

    I mean that as a serious question.

  294. That’s it. I’m running for fucking President.

  295. What has the feminist left done for whores?

    Slut walks.

    Shaming people who are uncouth enough to call whores “whores”.

    OTOH, it was the left that made condoms a requirement for pr0n made in California, thus guaranteeing it would depart the state.

  296. >> That’s it. I’m running for fucking President.

    Get in line

  297. Imma write-in all you all.

  298. G’night cool kids.

  299. dave out too. I hate all of you equally, there is no favoritism

  300. If nominated, I will not run. If elected, I will not serve.

  301. Daniel’s enthusiasm rankled Penelope.

  302. They don’t give a fuck about anything or anyone but themselves. Why shouldn’t the right take up the cause of whores?
    ————————————–
    These two sentences are redundant.

  303. “You didn’t suck that.”

    Comment Hall of Fame.

  304. Morning, children. Smoky here this morning.

  305. Great story.

    http://biggeekdad.com/2014/05/airborne-beer-story/

    http://tinyurl.com/nyomsmq

  306. Worky worky. Y’all have a good day.

  307. A new, very serious poat, has been poated.

  308. Libtards: a good rule of thumb, if I have to pay for your RIGHT, it isn’t your RIGHT! Thanks and get off my lawn


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