GOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO away

So, apparently a bunch of smelly foreigners and several of our less talented athletes have gathered down in some third-world hellhole for some bullshit soccer tournament called the World Cup. Which is so ridiculously backward and stupid that it doesn’t even include an actual, you know, cup.

world-cup-trophy-a1-500x500

Unlike the Stanley Cup, you can’t drink anything out of this piece of shit.

This completely boring and worthless spectacle rolls around every four years, accompanied by articles like this one about how we as Americans should love soccer. I’ll let Hank Hill explain why that’s bullshit:

Of course, what’s far more interesting to a misanthrope like myself is that this cavalcade of jackassery also seems to drag death and destruction in its wake, so I’m glad nobody (who matters) in this country takes it seriously.

 

barack-obama-soccer
When someone says “football,” you just know this is what he thinks of.

 

Anyway, next time someone lectures you about how this ridiculous pinko waste of time is something you should give two shits about, show them this:

Yeah, no thanks.

(Video of sissies flopping around found here.)

355 Comments

  1. This is the best poat ever.

  2. http://tmblr.co/ZhRb1v13CPNWm

  3. I thought. Would find solace in the ‘Fat acceptance’ community.
    I am, by their definition, ‘Small fat’. They won’t accept me.
    I has a sad.

    http://tmblr.co/ZhRb1v11uLUDO

  4. Real Americans play sports where you can use your arms

  5. Heh, nicely done, Sean.

    Y no rant on shinguards?

  6. Pupster, why do you discriminate against fat people?

    http://tmblr.co/ZhRb1v10PIwhL

  7. Soccer players are drama queens. Hunh.

  8. They flop in basketball too .

    I like soccer. I’d like it better if they played w/o shirts.

    wakey wakey

  9. They flop in basketball too .

    But they don’t roll around the court like they are mortally wounded. The flopping is annoying, though. Hello, Marcus Smart!

  10. I’d like it better if they played w/o shirts.

    I was looking for HHD fodder when I found a shirtless pic of a popular soccer player. You know how some tattoos are kind of arty and interesting to look at? Not this guy. He looked like he’d been vandalized on multiple occasions, then thrown in the wash with too much hot water so that it all ran together. No thanks.

  11. That’s how all tattoos look.

  12. Paula’s brother runs a tattoo shop and is covered with tats. They have all faded with time and look awful. He makes a living doing it, enough to pay for the house, cars, kids’ tuition, etc. but is not a walking billboard for his services.

  13. >>>Pupster, why do you discriminate against fat people?

    My new dog barks at me when I enter and leave the room. I could stand to lose more than a few pounds but my fat rolls don’t coalesce that bad! When I sit down she comes right over looking for scritches behind the ears. Stoopid dawg.

  14. A friend’s son who is really into tattoos was just diagnosed with hepatitis C. I think that’s manageable with drugs?

  15. Soccer flopping has to be more dramatic because of the scale of the field, etc.

    I get this debate going all ways. My husband likes soccer/football/some baseball, but when people go on an anti-soccer rant, he then digs in and attacks baseball as a slow game. And I patiently explain that the pace is the beauty.

    Watching different sports is different. If you don’t care, why care? it’s like agnostics railing about religion.

    I like soccer as a sport, and do enjoy watching it. As I like watching just about everything except (not) professional basketball because i so strong dislike the personalities/cultural trend it’s taken. obviously i’m racist.

    *shrugs

  16. Shane is a Hostage?

    http://www.tickld.com/x/worker-causes-havoc-for-walmart-management-this-is-hilarious

  17. Hi

  18. You can do a round of drugs that CAN knock it out, and you can be ok.

  19. Morning, children.

  20. http://www.fda.gov/ForConsumers/ByAudience/ForPatientAdvocates/ucm151494.htm

    When I was in med school and residency the fear was Hep C since there was no treatment or vaccine. I’ve had the Hep B vaccine and try to not plunge my hands into open festering sores or vomit to avoid the C and A versions.

  21. How does Shane keep a job? Shit like that’s funny when it’s somebody else but it would bring out my inner-Nazi in a hurry if it were happening to me.

    “Shane, the underpass at Loop 338 and I-20 is currently under-occupied. You may borrow a shopping cart.”

  22. Mrs. Caruthers wants tattoos. The mind, it boggles.

  23. Seems like a running joke they play. I bet there is no shane, but it’s funny.

  24. My suspicion is that Shane does not exist as anything other than a morale-booster that also gets you to read the white board.

  25. Someone probably had a crappy coworker named Shane at one point and told stories. Then there was the “oh man, if he worked here…” joke-starter.

  26. Shane = Mare

  27. The Trey Gowdy spanking Koskinen clip is pretty sweet.

    Spolation of Evidence. You”ll be hearing that a lot.

  28. I wonder if Shane knows Sean’s penis.

    Oh, did I tell you I had another sean story?

    Apparently he’s moved on from baby momma #3 (who is still pregnant, and isn’t sure it’s his anyway) to a new 17 y/o girlfriend who JUST LOVES HIM SO VERY MUCH.

  29. “My new dog barks at me when I enter and leave the room.”

    Ruby did that. One bark, each and every time.

    She would also bark when a toilet flushed, because she knew someone was about to come out.

  30. Guy’s gonna have more descendants than Attila.

  31. Hockey players are a bunch of flopping pussies.

    They leave the ice to get stitched up after getting hit in the face by a puck. Sometimes they miss a shift.

  32. Some kids flop in high school games. you do it for the penalty call. Some refs don’t play, and will ignore. Some times it pays off. Any game that rewards that kind of stuff – you’re going to see it.

    This conversation is boring.

    What would shane say?

  33. So MJ – i’ve taken a new approach to running. on days i do crossfit, i’m going to run a (quicker) mile or two. Then on off days, i do my longer runs.

    What say you?

  34. Mrs. Caruthers wants tattoos. The mind, it boggles.

    You don’t put bumperstickers on a Bentley.

  35. I think that sounds pretty good. The long runs will end up begin your ‘day off’ activity, non?

    I still can’t do those stupid bar up things. WTF?

  36. That’s an excellent slogan, PG. *YOINK!* Into the vault.

  37. MJ, you’re doing crackfat too?

    World’s just falling apart anymore.

  38. No, I’m not. I’m just trying some new things.

  39. I like doing box jumps, some pull ups, a little bit of core, etc.

  40. Which stupid bar-up things?

    I only go to crackfat twice a week, but I do one of the workouts at home (the murph). So three times a week, then I try three “longer” runs, although only one is long. The other two are further than 1/2 miles, but shorter than 5/6.

  41. toes to bar? or muscle up?

  42. Muscle up.

  43. I did box jumps yesterday. Our tallest box is only 30″, though.

    We don’t have any bar appropriate to muscle-ups.

  44. Those area really hard.

  45. Kipping leads to a muscle up. i’m only so-so at kipping. but the movement is similar.

  46. Can you do chest to bar?

  47. My levers are the wrong dimensions to touch my chest to the bar without joint injury or cheating*.

    *crackfat practitioners refer to this as “kipping”

  48. chest to bar isn’t kipping. Chest to bar is chest to bar, although you can kip while doing it.

  49. Is Kipping a city in China?

  50. Is Kipping a city in China?

    You’re thinking of Stockholm.

  51. If you kip while tipping. 10% is appropriate.

  52. *smokes a kipping*

  53. I meant kipping. I don’t even know what this shit is called, which might be part of the problem.

    I can do about 7 pull ups but that’s it.

  54. Ah. Yea muscle ups are crazy hard.

    Part of the problem with kipping is getting the movement correct.

  55. I do jumping pull-ups to help me do more reps. Jumping up further makes it a more difficult move/that’s the progression. Key is to lower down slowly. That will make you stronger.

  56. Again, my upper arms relative to my lower arms with the mobility provided by my shoulder joints do not permit my chest to touch the bar without either cheating at the pull-up or inducing injury in my elbows. I count a pull-up complete when my beard clears the bar.

    I cannot be the only human for whom this is true.

  57. OH. Work story, then i’m off to do shit.

    So, I get this four-top yesterday, and the two other servers I work with every monday start rattling off what a bitch the lady is, and what horrible tippers, etc.

    So, i make sure they get excellent service. They never even had a half-empty glass of soda. Extra bread? Sure. No problem, etc.

    Bill was $34.89 and they left me $35 bucks, a quarter, a dime, and a penny.

    Which is almost exactly what they left the other server.

    some people – if I saw them elsewhere … oh my …

  58. Part of the problem with kipping is getting the movement correct.

    Raise legs to move center of gravity up, drop legs while pulling so you lift less weight while in motion.

  59. There is a kicking motion (the drop). It’s not as easy as just following those directions. Your muscles don’t know these movements, and it’s rather counter to what you’d try naturally.

  60. Your mom’s kip-hole gets chest to bar

  61. you know who can muscle up?

    Your mom.

  62. Kip, kip, kip to my Lou

  63. bangjensen reblogged this from wtfsocialjustice and added:
    HOW IS SIZE 10 SOCIETY’S PORTRAYAL OF FAT BEYONCÉ IS A SIZE 10 NO ONE GOES AROUND CALLING HER FAT

    Beyoncé is fat.

  64. I guess it never seemed like a hard thing to learn. I’ve had to stop myself from doing it when I was near the end of a set. I also instinctively curl my legs into an L-sit near the end of a set to shift the work of a chin-up to my lats and rhomboids rather than my biceps.

  65. Beyonce is fat.

  66. Leon’s Monday tuckers are twice the men that those stumble bum fútbol players are.

  67. I wonder if Shane knows Sean’s penis.

    Has anyone ever seen them in a room together?
    Just saying.

  68. Oh, and this post is totally hilarious. Well done sean’s penis.

  69. http://empireofjeff.wordpress.com/2013/11/11/the-feel-good-fuck-you-story-of-the-week/

    This is old but fascinating. And illuminating… Like a million candlepower searchlight.

  70. Everyone put on your shocked face.

    IRS Commissioner John Koskinen looks like he got the job atop the taxman agency the old fashioned way: He bought it.

    According to the Washington Free Beacon, Koskinen has donated about $100,000 to Democrat candidates and committees since his first donation in 1979…

    He has given no money to Republicans. The taxman is a partisan Democrat.

  71. The Party of Government.

  72. Dead.

  73. Dead.

    Why, yes. Yes I am. You don’t have to rub it in.

  74. Maybe some breasticles would make Sean’s poat more popular. I wonder if there are any out on the internets.

  75. >>Dead.
    >>Why, yes. Yes I am. You don’t have to rub it in.

    Leon is a necrophiliac?

  76. Leon is a necrophiliac?

    Cis-agendered necrophiliac, you H8r.

  77. From The Washington Post Tiger Beat:

    President Obama went to Chipotle on Monday, continuing his luncheon tour of D.C. eateries. He walked there from a nearby hotel, having stopped by the White House’s Summit on Working Families. And he wore sunglasses. Oh how he wore sunglasses.

  78. Darnit, now I want Chipotle.

  79. Mmm. Barbacoa.

  80. mmmm Barbacoa

  81. !!!

  82. Even dead guys like Barbacoa :)

  83. The only ones who don’t like barbacoa are the cows.

  84. I knew there was a reason I liked Gary Oldman.

    http://freebeacon.com/blog/five-best-moments-from-gary-oldmans-playboy-interview/

    Well, other than his HTC phone ad, and the fact that he’s an AWESOME actor.

    (from the sidebar at AOS)

  85. Dead guys can BE barbacoa.

  86. I was off doing errands.

    i can kip ONE pullup, but it’s a matter of cycling them that is difficult.

  87. More like beef jerky.

  88. http://xbradtc.com/2014/06/17/world-cup-could-be-so-much-better/

    It’s worth watching the video.

    Trust me.

  89. http://is.gd/Sn9GQm

  90. Ok, time to paint a room.

  91. Strawberries would be the perfect food if they didn’t have those annoying leafy things on the top.

  92. They could learn something from grapes.

  93. Isn’t genetic engineering supposed to fix stuff like this?

  94. Ok, time to paint a room.
    —————
    Euphemism? Kinky.

  95. stupid engineers

  96. heh, good one, xbrad

  97. Ok, time to paint a room.
    —————
    Euphemism? Kinky.

    You know who can paint a room?

    Your mom.

  98. Strawberries don’t have protein or fat, and thus suck at being food.

  99. Who put the strawberry up leon’s butt?

  100. Speaking of food, anyone remember the experiment in 2012 to seed part of the Pacific with iron sulfate to improve algal blooms and thus restore salmon stocks?

    No?

    It fucking worked.

  101. There’s some bullcrap about CO2 sequestration and oceanic eco-remediation, too, but the fish part is the important part.

  102. Now, mist of you will find this comment offensive, but read on.

    I will name a handful of British actors who are currently active:
    Gary Oldman
    Alan Rickman
    John Hurt
    Patrick Stewart
    Ian McKellan
    Christopher Lee
    Colin Firth
    Ben Kingsley
    Tom Hardy
    Benedict Cumberbatch
    Mark Strong
    Martin Freeman
    Bill Nighy
    Ralph Fiennes
    Jason Issacs

    Why does Hollywood have so few actors to match the caliber of these people?

  103. If you want to be nitpicky, assume I said British Isles, instead of Britain.
    I can never get that right.

    Oh, and I did not list the current Bond

  104. Meh, some of the Brits are overrated, too.

    Denzel Washington
    Tim Robbins
    Robert DeNiro
    Al Pacino
    Clint Eastwood
    Jodie Foster
    James Caan

    Just off the top of my head.

  105. Is Peter North Canadian?

  106. North Canadian? and Peter who?

  107. You know who can paint a room?

    Your mom.

    Also, Sean’s Penis.

  108. No one lives in North Canada. It is too cold. If they did, they won’t have much of a Peter.

  109. *slaps Tushar with a kielbasa.

  110. J’Ames,
    They have 1/4th if US population. And if you want to bring in Jodie Foster, I will have to bring in Judie Dench and Maggie Smith.

    Admit it, US just doesn’t produce many great actors. Action men? Yes. Plastic boys like Clooney and Affleck, yes.
    Not actors.

  111. Oh, and American actors suck at playing bad guys.

  112. You forgot Helen Mirren.

  113. Robert Mitchum in Cape Fear = Ultimate Bad Guy

  114. Lionel Barrymore in “It’s a Wonderful Life” = American Bad Guy

  115. Carin, does the owner of the restaurant know or care when a customer fucking cheats you?

    If it were my business, I would start denying service to that bitch. You can’t keep good waitresses around if they can’t get paid.

    And you have to stand up for your employees when they are being obviously abused by people who get a kick out of that sort of thing. *Especially* if you’re not even paying them a real hourly wage, as in a restaurant situation. Jesus.

  116. Jack Nicholson in “The Shining”

  117. Don’t forget Matt Guitar Murphy.

  118. Christopher Walken as Zorin “A View to a Kill.
    Come on!

  119. Jimmy Spader was a pretty good bad guy in Wolf.

  120. the owner isn’t around enough to know/care. Next time – since I *did* give them one chance – will be a whole ‘nother story.

  121. http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=1vHRMeRszw4

  122. American actors are lower caliber because looks come first. Also, there is a lot of nepotism.

  123. Lon Cheney
    “The Wolfman Gets Some” 1939
    Classic.

  124. Ok, that 2.39 pm clip from Scott is some serious bit of acting!

  125. When did my kids start listening to completely shitty music.

    HOW COME NO ONE TOLD ME ABOUT THIS?

  126. Me, starring in, “Don’t Make Me Put My Boot in Your Ass”

  127. American acting. . .

  128. Car in is the solution to that problem to slow play the fuck out of them the next time they’re in? So that they won’t come back?

  129. Also, don’t give me Robert Mitchum.
    I listed only current actors, and of these, only Christopher Lee may be too old to act anymore.

  130. Isn’t Liam Niessen or however he spells it a limey as well? I thought he was pretty good in Taken.

  131. The owner of the restaurant only cares about the walk in business, wait staff are a dime a dozen. At least thats the attitude of a lot of restaurant owners.

    And these days, you can get employees any time.

  132. Pendejo – Liam is Irish, you pendejo!

  133. What’s the fucking difference?

  134. It’s “the customer is always right” theory.

  135. What about Sean Connery? I loved his ass in Celebrity Jeopardy.

  136. >>What about Sean Connery? I loved his ass in Celebrity Jeopardy.

    Um, Pendejo, most people don’t use that criteria for judging actors. There is more to acting than just having an ass you would lust after.

  137. All right, I’ll keep Robert Mitchum. That man could *act* and was a bad ass!

  138. Trebek is Canadian.

  139. North Canadian?

  140. There is more to acting than just having an ass you would lust after.

    I’ve never heard a bigger crock of shit in my life.

  141. To his credit, Trebek has been a naturalized US citizen since 1998.

  142. It’s a fine line. The owner doesn’t want ANY customer, and he sorta has a “go somewhere fucking else” attitude.

    So, next time, i go slow. They may need to ask for refills. The bread is going to be the oldest piece of shit in the bin.

    And if they ask for bread to take home, they’re getting charged for it.

  143. >>There is more to acting than just having an ass you would lust after.

    >>I’ve never heard a bigger crock of shit in my life.

    Let me clarify and extend my remarks.
    Pendejo lusting after Scarlett Johanssin’s ass. Ok
    Pendejo lusting after Sean Connery’s ass. Eww.

  144. Hostages Community Theatre Presents: “Driven to Distraction”

    [phone rings, Sean answers]

    Dad: “I have a big problem, can you come pick me up?”

    Sean: “Sure, what’s going on?”

    Dad: “I just got finished with my meeting at the radio station and my car isn’t out where I parked it.”

    Sean: “Did you call the cops?”

    Dad: “No, my phone is in the car.”

    Sean: “Okay, but why don’t you just call them from where you are right now?”

    Dad: “Tell you what, we’ll go to the P.D. together when you get here.”

    [Sean drives several miles to local college campus, picks up Dad from the street]

    Dad: “Okay, before we do anything else, let’s do some retracing.”

    Sean: “Why aren’t we going straight to the cops?”

    Dad: “Just want to be sure to retrace my steps.”

    [they drive around an approximately five block area of the campus]

    Dad: “Wait…did I leave it on Harvard?”

    Sean: “You’d better not have left it on Harvard.”

    [turns on Harvard]

    Dad: “Oh, there it is.”

    Sean: “…”

    Dad: “Sorry, it’s just with all this stress…”

    [Sean stabs Dad in face, kicks him out of moving car]

    Sean: “God, grant me the Serenity…”

    FIN

  145. I could also:

    sneeze on their food.
    drop the hamburger bun on the floor – oops
    not clear a single plate from their table
    be as curt/unfriendly w/o crossing the line that i can.

  146. To his credit, Trebek has been a naturalized US citizen since 1998.
    —————————–
    I’ve never heard a bigger crock of shit in my whole life.

  147. Bring them 20% less of everything.

  148. The serenity prayer was supposed to happen before you kicked out of the car.

    but I’m not expert. Perhaps you did it in the right order.

  149. MJ, that is a good idea. LOL.

  150. Problem is, people like that won’t understand why you are doing that, Car in. The world exists only for them, and their actions have no impact on anyone else.

    Takers.

  151. Tushar, you’re misunderstanding American idioms, probably intentionally as you seem to be a rather bright dot Indian.

    “I loved his ass” can mean anything from “I had a certain degree of appreciation for his buttocks” to “I heartily approved of his persona” as well as numerous topics in between. I’ll admit that there’s some nuance involved.

  152. J’ames – what is so weird about these people is the 47 cent tip.

    11 cents from the change, and then the quarter, dime and penny.

    That seems kind of like a fuck you.

  153. It does seem like that.

    I threw a bunch of pennies outside when a customer left once. They left 50 pennies for a $15 bill, thought they were being nice.

  154. Seems like it, because it is.

  155. Hostages Community Theatre Presents: “Driven to Distraction”

    [phone rings, Sean answers]

    Dad: “I have a big problem, can you come pick me up?”

    Sean: “Sure, what’s going on?”

    Dad: “I just got finished with my meeting at the radio station and my car isn’t out where I parked it.”

    Sean: “Did you call the cops?”

    Dad: “No, my phone is in the car.”

    Sean: “Okay, but why don’t you just call them from where you are right now?”

    Dad: “Tell you what, we’ll go to the P.D. together when you get here.”

    [Sean drives several miles to local college campus, picks up Dad from the street]

    Dad: “Okay, before we do anything else, let’s do some retracing.”

    Sean: “Why aren’t we going straight to the cops?”

    Dad: “Just want to be sure to retrace my steps.”

    [they drive around an approximately five block area of the campus]

    Dad: “Wait…did I leave it on Harvard?”

    Sean: “You’d better not have left it on Harvard.”

    [turns on Harvard]

    Dad: “Oh, there it is.”

    Sean: “…”

    Dad: “Sorry, it’s just with all this stress…”

    [Sean stabs Dad in face, kicks him out of moving car]

    Sean: “God, grant me the Serenity…”

    FIN

    ————————-

    Sean, I misplaced my good sunglasses over the weekend. Can you help me find them?

  156. BTW it wasn’t just doggeh depression. Dan took MaryAnn to the vet today. She’d stopped eating. Abscess in her jaw. She’s in surgery now.

  157. good that you found out what it was, oso. Sucks that it took surgery.

  158. Yep.

  159. I’m wearing a really cute tee with a “C” and a walking bear cub logo, and people keep mistaking me for a Cubs fan/

  160. Aww…. Poor MaryAnn.

  161. Sean, I misplaced my good sunglasses over the weekend. Can you help me find them?

    Try looking up your ass. I ain’t going in there.

  162. Never mind Sean. I just found them in the garage on an old desk. I put them down when I applied some insect repellent or, as you plebeians might say, bug spray. False alarm, no need to double my ginkgo dose.

  163. If you recall the old fable involving a man removing a thorn from a lion’s paw you would surely rearrange your thinking on retrieving my sunglasses.

  164. Never mind Sean. I just found them in the garage on an old desk. I put them down when I applied some insect repellent or, as you plebeians might say, bug spray. False alarm, no need to double my ginkgo dose.
    ————————
    Totally hilarious. I’m dying.

  165. jizm

  166. Jimbro, how long have you known about Mormon tea? I love that crap and drink it all the time, though I know it as stick tea.

  167. I only ever heard of it yesterday when I read Leon’s MMM intro (I’m only here for the words). I searched it and read about it as some kind of desert plant as a natural source of ephedra. Earl Gray or regular Red Rose tea is what I drink.

  168. Oh, I like rose tea too. Stick tea just grows right in the desert. Whenever I run out out I just head on out and grab it.

    I drink it before I play soccer.

  169. Game of Thrones has gotten slightly better.

    Less tits, though.

  170. MJ what kind of mixology uses tea as an ingredient?

  171. I drink it before I play soccer.

    Tea drinker. Soccer player.

    Any other embarrassing habits to confess?

  172. Umm… I still watch I Love Lucy, and I let HR block do may taxes.

  173. MJ what kind of mixology uses tea as an ingredient?
    ———————————-
    http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=U1Z2o3uWbqg

    This is one of the better drinks I’ve made. I used Earl Grey.

  174. MA is out of surgery and doing well. Yay! Dan gets to pick her up tonight.

  175. Phone calls all day long. A guy in Sweden notifies me today that he bought $6000 worth of fragile antiques and he wants them next week.

    HA!
    HA HA!

    HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA

    Good luck with that.

    Somebody needs to invents something that allows you to punch someone over the phone.

    stupid engineers.

  176. She’ll sleep well.

  177. Thanx. I’m going to make a Greyhound. Cool vid by the way. Do you edit w Final Cut X or iMovie?

  178. Considering all the years required for them to be considered antiques in the first place you’d think the guy that bought them would realize shipping might take a while. Or he may just be dumb.

  179. Good news on Maryann. Liquid or soft food diet for a while I’m guessing.

  180. Yep. So glad she doesn’t have to stay overnight. She doesn’t like it there.

  181. Yep. And antibiotics. We’ll find out if we have to monitor a drain when we pick her up.

  182. That can be a very serious infection.

    Dan gets gold stars for bringing her in. (unless it was your idea)

  183. Thanx. I’m going to make a Greyhound. Cool vid by the way. Do you edit w Final Cut X or iMovie?
    ———————
    I’m using iMovie.

    I’ve been using a new template. It’s a fun little hobby. I use my phone for the video. Lol.

    http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=FFSQKNRDwCI

  184. Long Island Ice Tea

  185. Phones are fine these days. Looks great. I’ll look into boosting the audio.

  186. Dan took her in. He had made chicken and rice to try to get her to eat, and noticed that her breathing was off, when she wouldn’t eat her C&R.

  187. It’s rained so much in the last hour that our streets are flooded. More on the way.

    *gets busy building an ark*

    Somebody remind me – how many inches in a cubit?

  188. I still watch I Love Lucy, and I let HR block do may taxes.

    Nobody would fault you for ILL, but you really can’t cheat worth a damn with H&R Block

  189. how many inches in a cubit?

    It is the length of the Pharaoh’s arm from elbow to middle finger tip.

    Or 18 inches….

  190. MJ This is a good little article on iMovie and Audio. It points one to the Audio Inspector which has an equalizer and gain adjustment.
    http://tinyurl.com/94ky3ma

    Thanks for the drink idea.

  191. Don’t forget the gopher wood, Teresa!

  192. Why no GND in SES mixology vids? Or at least Faceripper?

  193. A woman I know is leaving her husband. She just discovered that he has racked up over $75k on his credit cards in strip clubs over the past 3 years.

  194. xBrad, in case you haven’t already seen this:

  195. Thanks Chumpo!

  196. $75k on his credit cards in strip clubs over the past 3 years.
    What an amateur.

  197. Why no GND in SES mixology vids? Or at least Faceripper?
    —————————
    Not really sure. She’s been here a few times.

  198. Thanks, Hotspur. I think I first saw that 8 or 9 years ago.

  199. You could get a lot of actual hooker sex for $75k. Why pay that much just to look at it?

  200. Strip clubs and credit cards are a bad combo. We had a bank manager in southern ME recently fired for racking up 200k on company cards.

  201. There were hookers.

  202. Why pay that much just to look at it?
    Businessman’s Buffet Lunch 1100 to 1430 daily.
    the saddest looking buffet ever.

  203. RL friend used to wait tables at a local strip club. She made great tips. The cashier/operator that danced at the same club…made $$$.

  204. Maybe Car in should wait tables at a strip joint. Sounds more lucrative and she won’t have to serve kids or the very elderly.

  205. A woman I know is leaving her husband. She just discovered that he has racked up over $75k on his credit cards in strip clubs over the past 3 years.

    She was upset that the $75k couldn’t now be spent on shoes.

  206. I don’t get strip clubs.

  207. Maybe Car in should wait tables at a strip joint. Sounds more lucrative and she won’t have to serve kids or the very elderly.

    Plus, then we’d know where we’re going for the next meetup!

  208. She was upset that the $75k couldn’t now be spent on shoes.

    I was going to say if every husband left his wife for spending tens of thousands on clothing, the divorce rate would be 95%.

  209. Why would anyone go there for dinner? I don’t care if they have Steak night or Burger specials…NASTY!!!

  210. Plus, then we’d know where we’re going for the next meetup!

    We could sit at her station all day and only order two drinks.

  211. Fur burger and tube steak at the buffet. Finger bang sandwiches.

  212. Bill for MaryAnn’s vet visit? $1100.

  213. Obama needs to solve veterinary health care next.

  214. I used to spend lots of money on books. I only get to buy 10 books a month. I’ve been having to reread and go to the library. I H8 TFG.

  215. Strip club restaurants: the one place every customer goes home with leftover sausage.

  216. Obama needs to solve veterinary health care next.

    Of course, Bo and the pets of SEIU members will be exempted. John Roberts will declare it a tax and Hobby Lobby will be forced to perform spay and neuter procedures, as well as drown kittens.

  217. I don’t get strip clubs either. Never been to one.

  218. King Fecal Touch needs to stay away from Vet care. Bad enough what his economy has done to costs.

  219. Lapeer isn’t loaded with strip clubs.

  220. Oso, glad to hear pooch is on the mend.

    Did you try rubbing dirt on it first ? Might have saved you some $$.

  221. Making C&R is the canine equivalent of rubbing dirt on something. When she didn’t eat C&R, Dan knew something was wrong. At least our vet could handle it. When Gingy got sick, we had to see a doggie GI specialist. Her rap name is 3G.

  222. For marital harmony, I never bring up that I wanted pet insurance for $28 a year and I was told “It’s just a dog.” Nope, never bring it up.

  223. So this is weird, line of big storms from the southeast, which never happens in June unless a hurricane blows through, is meeting a big line of storms from the northwest headed here.

    Normally they’re all from the west or southwest in late june.

    *puts on a football helmet*

  224. Dave’s football helmet-

    http://tinyurl.com/mprka55

  225. Hugs for Moses!!! Give that beagle some love! Stay safe.

  226. That’s why she lost her toy. It was probably painful to carry.

  227. Did anybody let anybody else finish all the cole slaw and potato salad before telling them it was expired today?

  228. Dave’s football helmet-
    http://tinyurl.com/mprka55

    I thought a five-gallon hat usually had a brim.

  229. Fútbol!
    http://is.gd/sKKrbm

  230. That is a freaky radar loop Dave.

  231. First round done. Ol Mose is sleeping on the sofa next to me while we watch the Rangers suck

  232. no shit Scott. I’ve been here 23 years, don’t ever remember that happenin this time of year except hurricane years

  233. no bad warnings though, so rain on rains wherever you come from

  234. Scott, that’s what we’re thinking. Losing Do made us pay attention. BTW NOW Dan decides to tell me that they were running a cancer screen on her!!!! Now! Everything came up clear, but I wasn’t able to fully freak out!!

  235. Is your doggeh okay, oso?

  236. Vet says she will be. No cancer. (Which I wasn’t aware was even an option!) Groggy doggie. We can pick her up tonight. Abscess wasn’t periodontal (I admit, we haven’t been the best with their dental care).

  237. Of course, now I have Gingy not eating and being depressed, because MaryAnn has been gone for 8 hours.

  238. Glad to hear she’s gonna be okay. Hug your babies tight.

  239. Thx. I will. Does France have paid days off for hourly workers that have fur babies not kids? ///

  240. Hurricane year? Oh goody, another thing for the climate crazies to focus on. Just in time for an election.

  241. Oso, neat story about a pitcher getting called up for St Louis tomorrow. He’s from AA Springfield, and he grew up in Ft Collins. They are in Denver.

    He says he has 100 family and friends coming to the game. That’s before he told his high school friends.

    Could be an interesting crowd in CO tomorrow.

  242. Oh, and his dad is a coach in the Rockies minor league system.

    I’m sure he’s conflicted.

  243. We have run the AC once this year. In the 25 years I’ve been her this is a first.

    Further proof of global warming as their models predicted cooler summers and winters.

  244. CO got rid of quite a few nosebleed seats and turned it into a party zone. Cards/Rockies….I don’t H8 the Rockies. Nice story…LOL I like Ft Collins. I’ve done the brewery tour 6 times.

  245. I’m sorry about your puppy Oso and hope she’s better soon

  246. Scott, we’ve been using fans. Hottest May on record…fans are fine. Ran the Swamp Cooler twice all season.

  247. Thanks, DiT.

  248. March 2013 was hotter than June 2014.

    We’ll probably pay for it later.

  249. In the murky world of social justice warriors, the term transfat does not mean what the medical/dietary term transfat means.

    I think it means a fat transgendered person, but I could be wrong.

  250. Fat trannies killed it?

    Well I didn’t post them.

  251. Election results. Nerdgasms.

  252. Scott it’s been unseasonably rainy and cooler here too. Late June should be mid-upper 90s. I think we’ve had one or two days around 94.

    It’s still gonna be a Texas summer.. anomalies don’t change that.

    But so far so good.

  253. I know that anecdote isn’t data, but HOPPERS!!!! Only the beginning. We’re supposed to have another round of Hoppers in July.

  254. I’ve seen recipes for those if you want to eat cheap for awhile.

  255. Conversation at my house: I know you loved Sparky and Jimmy Leyland, does that mean you can start H8N the Tigers? Me: WTF? Dan: Well, you still H8 the Cards and LaRussa is gone. Me: When did the Tigers join the NL Central? (Curtsies)

  256. Look that dog has a fluffy tail!!!

  257. This HAS to be a troll. If it is not, we may want to seriously consider blowing up our civilization and salting the earth so nothing grows back.

  258. Bear fight in Game of Thrones.

    They jumped the lemon bear.

  259. Still super dry here. We’re praying that it will start raining soon.

  260. *Grabs Bombs and Salt*
    I’m with you Tush, let’s do this.

  261. *puts Tushar in a headlock and language-polices him*

    I have no idea what that means.

  262. It Means Big Party at the Water tower tonight!

  263. **Slut shames Chumpo and Pepe.

  264. I don’t know what anyone is talking about.

  265. *whispers to Scoot*

    Shhhh… just play along… nod and smile. Works for me!

  266. Ok, ‘multiple system’ person, I think, means a person who is convinced there are multiple sentient creatures living in his brain.

  267. Check your privilege, Scott.

  268. Sorry about your fur kid, Oso, but glad Dan caught it. Is she home yet?

  269. Man o man: I picked up some e-liquid that tastes like Red Hots and I am in heaven. Been vaping like a fiend all afternoon and haven’t smoked a ciggie in about six hours now.

  270. *scrolls up*

    Oh goodness, MA will be right as rain soon!

  271. Cyn, is vaping different than ecigs?

  272. Not yet. We can pick her up after 9.

  273. Ok, ‘multiple system’ person, I think, means a person who is convinced there are multiple sentient creatures living in his brain.

    http://37.media.tumblr.com/be25e6196e29d1c982385eed3b816320/tumblr_muw40mDBUD1ryeto5o1_500.png

    The apocalypse is going to be such a huge fucking relief.

  274. >> Been vaping like a fiend all afternoon and haven’t smoked a ciggie in about six hours now.

    Turn me on to this in Sept. I will be ready to focus on my other addition by then cause I will have cracked 190 like a boss.

    shit, I still need to book a room

  275. I thought Sybil was a fraud? Have there been any ‘Multiples’ authenticated?

  276. Cyn,
    This is SATAN here.
    I use a “Top ‘O Matic” machine and can roll 3 cartons (600 smokes) for $40.
    You should really just quit.
    It will stunt your growth…

  277. “Vaping” is what the “cool kids” call ‘smoking an e-cig’. You are vaporizing and inhaling a flavored liquid (sometimes called e-liquid or juice). I picked up basically a whole new set up from this gal down the street: tank and tip, and a new variable battery . She said I’d never be successful with what I had, and I knew this from my recent research. I feel like a grown-up vaper with a new toy. I am stoked.

  278. The apocalypse is going to be such a huge fucking relief.

    ^^ This. A thousand times this.

  279. Apocalypse will still leave survivors. And the apocalypse is such a TRIGGER for some people.

    I am rooting for SMOD.

  280. Satan, have I told you lately that I love you?! Mwah to Mrs. Satan too!

    Seriously, I really feel like I am closer than ever to being successful now that I have the right tools. (Yes, I know, I know: cold turkey is best, but I have too much other stuff happening in my life to take that on too.)

  281. We call “Vaping” and “Crop Dusting” the same thing. Awkward conversation with e-cig dude ensued. Oops.

  282. shit, I still need to book a room

    I’ve already called dibs on the one closest to the elevator –

  283. Crop dusting is walking by a row of cubicles releasing little farts

  284. Just how many trunks did Haley Barbour stuff this time, anyway?

  285. Turn me on to this in Sept.

    Will do.

    shit, I still need to book a room

    Book away! I need at least 10 of you to book at the selected hotel… or else!

  286. DiT, vaping a room while crop dusting.

  287. Invents Vap-o-Bong.

    Profit.

    *in CO

  288. Vaping is when a fighter plane pulls enough Gs that condensation forms on the upper wing surface.

    When an F-16 really honks on the Gs, it’s called a “snow cone.”

  289. *wonders if I can fit a Vap-o-Bong on my Spinner battery…*

  290. I need to go find an email and do this thang

  291. PoW visual: Wearing shorts, not capris, Lobo Crocs, C is for Connie tee with cute baby bear…going to the vet to get my bebe.

  292. Sonofa…

  293. Hugs and cuddles to Mary Ann.

  294. Here be the new code of conduct for everyone at this here H2

    http://wtfsocialjustice.tumblr.com/image/63601781341

  295. Cold turkey is easy. You’re a bunch of pussies.

  296. Also, goodnight.

    *runs away with swift swiftness*

  297. I know I can do one thing at a time, and I know I can’t do two.

  298. Man she is fast!!!

  299. But I only like warm turkey.

  300. cigs are def a touchy issue. I have a few friends who were reg to heavy smokers who quit using the Vape Method. I observe they hit the vape more than they smoked so I haven’t vaped right along with them. I support them and I don’t think humans should smoke all day every day. That said, if the mood (and the buzz) strikes me I’ll rip through a half a pack in a bar and never look back. I’m not a non-smoker by any stretch but neither do I keep those insidious bastards near me in my day to day because I know the damage they can do.

  301. I will continue to post the choicest fucktardness from wtfsocialjustice.
    If you are uninterest, pl. skip over.

    This one is interesting. The gay/bi/trans/poc/whatever community is always crying hoarse over ‘otherization’, but the way they otherize straight people is something to behold.

    http://wtfsocialjustice.tumblr.com/image/63240736621

  302. pack and a half a day

    at some point I should figure out cancer may be far worse than Type 2 diabeetus

  303. Anybody heard from Wiser? Hoping he’s doing okay.

  304. plus 11 Dave and I support quitting more than smoking. If it keeps you in the world then quit yesterday or cut them down to when yer perfectly buzzed. My point is that smokes and everything else are better as party favors than sidekicks.

  305. I will continue to post the choicest fucktardness from wtfsocialjustice.

    You seem to have quite the gift for finding the freaky-deakiest.

  306. Me too Pepe. That’s a tough row to hoe.
    Keep yer chin up Wiser.

  307. Here you go Tushar.

    http://everythingisracism.com/

  308. Pepe, I DM’d him. He’s alive. So is everyone else. So far.

  309. WHEN DO THESE FUCKING JUNE BUGS STOP FUCKING? SWATS SMASHES THROWS THEM 90MPH INTO THE DECK

    I might need to go to bed now

  310. Dave,
    Since I roll my own, and it is BORING, I’m down to ten/twelve per day. Morning cuppa, walking around outside after I get up, Post breakfast, after reading all the “major News sites”, post lunch, starting to drink, after 1700…

  311. I keep having to hit wiki to figure out some of the subcultures from that SJW blog.

    Otherkin was easy to figure out. Straight Edge was a bit of a curveball.

    http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Straight_edge

  312. Thanks, XBrad.

  313. MaryAnn is home. Gingy is happy. We have 2 pages of instructions. Dan is getting cream cheese for all the meds. Bebe is in her dog house. All is good. Thanks, guys.

  314. Bebe is one of MAs nicks.

  315. Glad she’s back home, Osita.

  316. Yay, Bebe is home in her house and Gingy is happy!

  317. These links define the term “wtf”

  318. Quit eating his food, TJ.

  319. I enjoyed watching “Wolf of Wall Street” yesterday
    Is that bad?

  320. Tongue was always very common in Jewish delis when I was a kid

    Watching them slice it was rather gross

  321. I don’t want to taste any food that’s tasting me back.

  322. If it weren’t for Mexican restaurants half of them would be unemployed

    Plus Anglos tip
    Mexicans tip like old people fuck

  323. *thumbs up for Tushar’s social justice/motard research*

  324. I don’t want to taste any food that’s tasting me back.

    Substitute food with oral sex and matters change.

  325. To put it another way: Man does not live by bread alone.

  326. I never wanted to be your weekend lover
    I only wanted to be some kind of friend, hey
    Baby, I could never derp you from another
    It’s such a shame our friendship had to end

  327. >>Comment by xbradtc on June 25, 2014 12:56 am
    >>I don’t want to taste any food that’s tasting me back.

    **ponders this. Shudders.

  328. http://tmblr.co/ZhRb1vvrtHJ_

  329. Btw, Candy, Hastur, Steve, Nick, Keaton etc are all persons living in the same single brain.

    Some people are truly fucked up beyond all repair.

    http://tmblr.co/ZhRb1vvLze3T

  330. Most of the weird animals I’ve eaten have involved sushi bars or Vietnamese soup places. Never knowingly had beef tongue; although you know what they say about hot dogs being made from lips and assholes? Probably a bit of tongue in there to balance the flavors out.

  331. Morning, Tushar! I’m off to work, too!

  332. And a good morning to you too, jimbro. Guess I’ll be joining you really early risers for the foreseeable future.

  333. WTF is injured wings?

  334. Not sure what injured wings are but I had to look up “Otherkin” FFS

  335. Heh, xbrad’s link made me smile, on Otherkin

  336. This place has potential for the funneh:

    http://kindofnormal.com/truthfacts/archive

  337. workie workie…office all day

  338. Jimbro, you Bastage! I’ve been stuck at True Facts for two hours!!

  339. wakey wakey

  340. Morning, children. No idea what Otherkin is, don’t really care.

  341. Gimme a few minutes, and I’ll have HHD up.

  342. Morning, children. No idea what Otherkin is, don’t really care.

    That’s when you self-identify as something other than human, like a cat or a dragon. Like classical lycanthropy (madmen who believed they were wolves or some other predator and then ate people) but lamer.

    The other term for it is “crazy and in need of institutionalization”.

  343. So, you know, it’s inaccurate to say that they don’t exist.

    It’s accurate to say that they don’t matter.

  344. It’s when you associate your persona with a mythical creature or animal, such as a skunk, or a hunchback.

  345. New poat!


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