MMM 128: two to the seventh

No deep — or shallow, really — thoughts to share this week, other than my deep and abiding appreciation for whoever developed pseudo-ephedrine. I also have a pretty good mean on for the people denying me access to real ephedra. I should try to grow some Mormon Tea.

Let’s start with the black and white today. Change of pace.
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Now some color, but still a gal holding dumbbells.
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The blue ball in the back? Symbolism.
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How does she walk in those shoes?
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Swinger.
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This week in ab veins…
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Empty shelves make me curious.
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I strongly suspect that the pole in the foreground has been used in a visually-stimulating manner.
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Monday, folks. Go kick it’s booty.

337 Comments

  1. wakey wakey

  2. wiser’s probably not here this am, but he should have told his daughter to take her tirade up with the DMV or whomever dictated she take the course. See how far that gets her.

    sigh.

    My son had to take a class when he got a ticket – got him out of part of the fine. What’s to be made about?

  3. http://www.gcrg.org/bqr/7-3/mormon-tea.htm

    aka “Whorehouse tea”

  4. I feel for wiser. Man oh man oh Manischevitz….

    Hard to walk back from that scene although after reading Rosie’s comment I think they will.

    Still tough.

  5. workie workie

  6. Girls can be crazy irrational. boys can be stupid too, but I think (some) girls just …

    my older daughter has had some moments.

  7. it’s Murph Monday.

    Iffen no one is around to play with, i’m going to have to go get started.

  8. Morning, children. Sorry, Wiser. Having kids is stressful. We only have one boy, he’s a good kid and we still had some tough times.

  9. Hope things are better today.

  10. Blog = birth control.

  11. STFU Mj.

  12. The Murph starts in 10 minutes. Are you ready?

  13. Hi Car in.

    How have you been?

  14. Peachy.

    i mean, I worked all weekend, and I have a fake double today, so I’m ready to choke a bitch.

  15. You’re just trolling us with dick chicks at this point, aren’t you?

  16. I got food poisoning friday night, so my fake double on saturday sucked donkey balls. Plus the money absolutely sucked.

    Seriously, I’m probably going to choke a bitch today.

    I’m guessing sometime around the dinner rush.

  17. How was Chicago, MJ?

  18. It was awesome Roamy. How was it for you?

    I got food poisoning on Wed night which sucked a million dicks. It was frightening, but I was ok by Thursday afternoon.

    Sorry we didn’t get to meet up but I had already left for dinner.

    Weird that we were in the same place at the same time and didn’t know it.

  19. That top “woman” didn’t do a very good job of tucking.

  20. It was pretty good, though like all conferences, I was on my feet too much. I’m assuming you weren’t there for Space Station. Some of the Wrigley conference people were obnoxious.

  21. Dave, if I’m trolling I’m unaware of it. I have never knowingly put anything but a picture of an attractive woman into one of these posts.

    Anything else you may perceive is due to your fat-and-or-weak-normative beauty standards.

  22. I am experiencing the revenge of the lawn for mowing it yesterday.

    I want Winter back.

  23. Mr. RFH thought I was nuts and obsessing about the Hostages. I insisted that I had seen you in the crowd at the hotel. Glad to know I’m not crazy. Well, not regarding that, anyway.

    Mini-me gets her braces off today, so that’s my good news for today.

  24. Two of us got good poisoning in the same week?

    Think mare is trying to kill us?

  25. She will spend several hours running her tongue over her teeth in disbelief.

  26. I thought I got away with no Claritin for the weekend and mowing the lawn yesterday. My eyes and throat beg to differ with me.

  27. Saturday I went the entire day with no drugs. Then I got up at 3am to take benny-dryl.

  28. Leon, I started wearing a dust mask to cut the lawn this year.

    It’s a big help.

  29. I should have. The neighbor has been mowing in goggles and a a bandana.

  30. Good morning cool kids

  31. Futanari, man.

  32. Serial, this is the worst Spring for allergies in a long time. Even I have been getting gunked up occasionally and normally that doesn’t happen to me until ragweed season. Scott got up in the middle of the night with an asthma-like attack after the first or second time he mowed the lawn.

    He broke down and started wearing the dust mask and raved at how much better he felt afterward. I think he got a pack of the ones with a little ‘cool filter’ baffle looking-thing in the front of it, IIRC.

    “…your fat-and-or-weak-normative beauty standards.”

    Your women look like no women ever in the History. That doesn’t make other women ‘fat and weak.’

    I’m going to pinch you now. Come here. It’s going to hurt real bad, too. Might bruise.

    I said, come here. *snaps fingers and points to a spot right in front of me.*

  33. Your women look like no women ever in the History

    I readily grant the truth of this statement.

  34. I’m also not moving one inch in your direction.

  35. Not even the Nazi Youth movement visualized a master race full of women like what Leon shows us every Monday.

  36. Darnit, the point was to poke at Dave for his deranged position that women aren’t allowed to be strong or lean-bodied, ergo these must be men.

    I’m not the bad guy here, people!

    *right arm drifts upward into Nazi salute*
    *left arm grabs it and pulls it down*

  37. mmm- hmmm

    *squints eyes*

  38. That’s kinda racist.

  39. Mr. RFH thought I was nuts and obsessing about the Hostages. I insisted that I had seen you in the crowd at the hotel. Glad to know I’m not crazy. Well, not regarding that, anyway.
    ————————————-
    I had to call Cyn to confirm that it was actually you texting me. We had a good laugh followed by a, ‘what are the odds?’

    I was there for work followed by a few days of fun.

  40. Glad the MS Senate runoff is tomorrow; tired of Brett Favre shilling for Cochran. Bringing the pork home for votes!

  41. Think mare is trying to kill us?
    ——————–
    Most likely. It was so bad at one point that I was actually laughing hysterically.

  42. Yeah, I still had your phone number from meeting you in Tampa. Didn’t want to interrupt anything, so I sent the text.

  43. *right arm drifts upward into Nazi salute*
    *left arm grabs it and pulls it down*

    I look forward to a post called “Hawt Hardbodies of the KKK.”

  44. Leon does shave his head, doesn’t he…

  45. I was just able to include the phrase, “for the love of all that is holy” in a response to a contractor Request for Information. I do very detailed drawings for construction bids and this is the third time the contractor has asked for mounting heights that are already specified.

    OK, so it’s not really professional but I swear if he asks again I will answer “so it is written, so shall it be done”.

  46. Read it and weep

    No! And you can’t make me! You’re not my real dead relative!!1!

  47. No! And you can’t make me! You’re not my real dead relative!!1!

    More evidence I won’t lie to you.

  48. Also, a rare instance of a lefty seeing the light.

    http://www.washingtonpost.com/opinions/the-patent-office-goes-out-of-bounds-in-redskins-trademark-case/2014/06/20/e0001ee8-f7bd-11e3-8aa9-dad2ec039789_story.html

    Won’t happen again until after Hillary’s! Second term.

  49. Leon does shave his head, doesn’t he…

    In my defense, God did most of the hair removal for me.

  50. I look forward to a post called “Hawt Hardbodies of the KKK.”

    I regret to inform you that there aren’t any. KKK is almost entirely fat old white dudes anymore. Its heyday is long past.

  51. Plus I like the South American and Central American ladies far too much to join that silly club.

  52. *notices Leon doesn’t call out the Portuguese*

  53. And here I was, hoping for some sweaty gym shots of Robert Byrd.

  54. Brasilherinas are largely Portuguese, Pupster.

    Like everyone worthwhile, their ancestors left Europe centuries ago.

  55. It occurs to me that I don’t actually know what that word translates to, and that I may only have it in my head from pr0n.

    It may be a dirty word in Portuguese.

  56. I think I have a contender for most punchable face of the year.

    At about two minutes in: http://youtu.be/lu4ukHmXKFU

    And that product just seems nuts to me, frankly. I might be wrong.

  57. It’s a completely extraneous product. If I filled it, how the hell do I now know what’s in it already?

  58. It may be a dirty word in Portuguese.

    Ah, but in Portuguese or Brazilian Portuguese?

  59. And here I was, hoping for some sweaty gym shots of Robert Byrd.

    Any word on the Walter Brennan photos?

  60. I saw one of Leon’s womyns in the grocery store yesterday. She had on one of the lycra suits on with a t-shirt over. I was jealous of her muscles. And *definitely* not a tucker.

    So they do exist :)

  61. And that product just seems nuts to me

    They should sell a similar product that’s a pair of underpants.

  62. There are far more Brazilians than Portuguese, so I’d argue that it’s their language now.

  63. Oops – I guess it’s actually:

    “Any movement on the Walter Brennan thing?”

  64. *pisses ibn a Vessyl cup*

    ANALYZE THIS YOU GOAT FUCKER!!!!

  65. in

  66. Tom, there are about a dozen women at my gym that would qualify for these posts. One of them can squat 3 plates for reps.

    Her hindquarters are incredibly robust. In a “daaaaaaaaaaaayum” kind of way.

  67. Two Girls One Cup comes full circle?

  68. Leon, How much of that is hard work and how much heredity? My only muscle mass is in my legs from my bicycling days (long past). *Never* had any upper body strength. Do I have any hope without strange chemical cocktails for a chest that is bigger than my abdomen :(

  69. Gross

  70. Hey, I sit in front of a computer all day and my only exercise is fork lifts.

  71. You could get breast implants.

  72. >>There are far more Brazilians than Portuguese, so I’d argue that it’s their language now.

    by that token, English will be soon Indian’s language, if it is not already so.
    We have a population of 1.2 billion, and it is a safe bet to say a quarter of those speak English (though not as their primary language). That is equal to total US population.

  73. A lot of it is just plain hard work. It helps that she started younger than I did (she’s obviously younger than I was then). There’s certainly a genetic component to large glutes for some, but as a human we’re all sort of naturally built to have good butts if we work on them.

    Upper body strength in a male is going to have a much more significant genetic component, but there’s no reason you can’t get to the V-taper with proper diet and some training, unless you’re really past the point where your endocrine system thinks androgens are worth making. Even then, there’s usually room to start production again unless you’ve had a vasectomy or testicular cancer.

  74. You could get breast implants.

    Hey! I hadn’t thought of that. Why do all that heavy lifting!

  75. Tushar, English and Spanish strike me as more distributed languages. There are global speakers of both based on long histories of colonization, and both are essentially well-built pidgins. Portuguese is really only spoken in Brazil and Portugal, iirc. German is pretty limited in global reach as well, and used to have a lot of strong regional dialects, but TV and the internet are effectively destroying those.

  76. Oh man! Had the “v” word. I guess I’ll have to panhandle from androgynous individuals.

  77. MMM #2 is actually quite attractive. Well done, Leon. Numbers 4 & 6 are scary.

  78. I couldn’t really speak German, but for a while there, I understood it fairly well.

    I could easily spot the difference between Bavarian German and Berlin German.

  79. We have a population….

    What do you mean by “we”? Are you part of a sleeper cell?

  80. You could have your T levels checked. From what I’ve read, the vasectomy causes a weird thing to happen. For the first 6 months after, your T levels actually rise because the hormonal system thinks that they aren’t high enough to produce gametes. Then nothing happens and no sperm ever end up delivered to the epididymis, so your body gives up on making all that extra testosterone and it drops to a level low enough that you might need HRT to get back to normal.

  81. Thanks, Leon.

  82. I worked with an old GP who did in office vasectomies, 1 or 2 per week. Now the Urologists are the only ones who do them. He had an elaborate routine and the same banter for each and every case. He told a long joke to keep the guys’ minds off of what he was doing. I wish I coukl remember the joke but I was more focused on learning the surgical technique. I do recall the punch line involved pickled eggs.

  83. could

  84. Making a fellow laugh while he is getting a vasectomy doesn’t sound like a good idea.

  85. I had the disadavantage that I have a delayed response to most anaesthetics, so I felt the whole thing and then was numb 2 hours afterward :( Luckily it really doesn’t hurt a whole lot.

  86. Timed perfectly every time…no punch line till the snip snip was over and the sutures were applied.

  87. “Pickled Eggs”

  88. “..now, where’s that hooker with a sore tooth?”

  89. ^^^ You mean Mare?

  90. We had a game here a few years back where we just posted punch lines from old jokes.

  91. I saw Pickled Eggs open for The Amazing Buzzcocks in 1987.

  92. Rectum? Damn near killed him!

  93. Oh, I didn’t realize that you were a police officer too!


  94. http://www.duffelblog.com/2014/06/washington-redskins/#!2FhWp

    In related news, a Japanese fishing fleet has inadvertently netted and suffocated the entire Miami Dolphins team.

  95. Today my 30,000 gallon Reservoir of Hate took revenge on a small bit of nature. Dead mouse floating belly up. Either that, or it was some weird bit of aquatic rodent yoga.

  96. $20, same as downtown.

  97. And at these prices, you won’t see many more.

  98. We have already established what kind of woman you are. Now we are just haggling over the price.

  99. Honey, this one is eating my popcorn!

  100. One to hold the bulb and the rest to make me sandwiches

  101. Russell

  102. You’re not just here for the hunting, are you?

  103. Your mom can’t take a joke

  104. I think it would be funny if at the meetup everybody asked Tushar rude questions about Native Americans.

    “Tushar, that is an interesting name. Does it mean ‘two feathers?’ Because it sounds like it should mean that.”

    “I don’t think the Great Mother would like to see you holding that beer, Two Feathers. You know Your People can’t handle the firewater.”

    “Did you bring us some tax-free cigarettes?”

  105. Keep it up, and none of you people are going to get VIP treatment at Tushar’s casino on the reservation.

  106. Nobody laughs at your jokes.

  107. Your mom!

  108. Rosetta’s head.

  109. Cyn, you should put Rosetta’s spork letter in the hall of faim.

  110. Friday night is your turn in the barrel.

  111. It was pretty good… I’ll see what I can do when work’s done.

  112. “Who gave you the quarter?”
    “All of them!”

  113. He was dead for the entire movie.

  114. Better stand back! I don’t know how big this things gonna get!

  115. Coffee break is over, back on your heads!

  116. Spend a week away from home, come back and need a vacation to get over the “vacation”.

    It’s not even 2:00, and I’ve already had to deal with an overflowing toilet and an SD card on my Smart Phone that was being a smart aleck. Wasted 22 minutes of some poor customer service rep’s time, only to discover that said card had cleverly jumped from the back of my phone to the floor, then hidden under a blue blanket.

    She thanked me for the laugh….

  117. *reads upthread*

    Well, FFS – I’ve managed to ruin another H2 thread.

    I’ll just be over here in the corner; don’t worry about the banging sound you hear…..

  118. She said the cup holder on the computer was broken.

  119. …glad to see that you won first prize.

  120. At least it’s not dead. You have to have xbrad or me to truly kill a thread.

  121. Then the clown said, “look over your shoulder…MAGIC!”

  122. Blue Booties!

  123. Laura, I don’t know if you got a chance to hear Sobek’s Apu impression. On phone, he can fool anyone into believing he is a dot Indian. In person, his blindingly white skin gives him away.

  124. There is a silence, then a gun shot is heard. Back on the phone, the guy says “OK, now what?”

  125. Mind you, the toilet didn’t “just” overflow – Rebecca must have used an entire roll of toilet paper to clean up after herself, and then attempted to flush a couple of times, but nothing went down.

    The plunger was no help whatsoever; water just started coming over the edge and wouldn’t stop – it seemed like it took forever to turn the water off behind the toilet. Meanwhile, poop water was running everywhere.

    Now the whole back part of the house smells like raw sewage….

    *bangs head some more*

  126. “The doctor says you’re gonna die.”

  127. …glad to see that you won first prize.

    Oh, now you have that song running through my head.

  128. If this is my thermometer, where’s my pen?

  129. …and deep!

  130. “Frosted Flakes”

  131. “I was talking to the frog.”

  132. Cab fare for Dave

  133. Leon, that’s a false choice. It’s just as ridiculous as when leftists insist conservatives want no government at all when we say we want less of it.

    There is a world of beauty between ropey bulging veined mutants and fat-and-or-weak-normative beauty standards.

    Hey Roamy did you get a space pen?

  134. Bennet? Hell he broke it.

  135. Dave, you’re the one insisting that women are men, not me.

  136. I know what I see

  137. Mad Cow was already taken.

  138. Friend is visiting family in Germany. Just posted she’s having a beer after BBQ. My friend this wknds Vegan BBQ. I’m just smh. What makes it a BBQ as opposed to grilling or cooking outside? Is it a regional thing? I can’t remember when it changed, but I know burgers and dogs was a cookout, and actual brisket, pulled pork, or ribs was a BBQ.

  139. *donkey punches everyone.

  140. Why no Bear Punch?

  141. Dave, I have calligraphy pens, pens handed out by vendors, and pens stolen from hotels, but no space pens. I like that “space pens” as a category made the cloud over there ~~>

  142. Hey, that’s not my belly button! That’s okay, that’s not my finger.

  143. ‘No…not if I’m gonna have to explain it five times’

  144. Oh definitely! Most tables would have collapsed by now!

  145. “The same person who names his Rotweiler Jesus!”

  146. “It’s not a Porsche you got there. It’s a BMW.”

  147. no matter how full your life is, there is always room for BEER

  148. >> but no space pens

    Huh. I would have thought you being an insider and all would get you space pens.

    That sucks.

  149. Your face

  150. You’re a towel!

  151. Why do you ask, Two Dogs Fucking?

  152. Dwayne the bathtub….I’m dwouning.

  153. http://is.gd/VU2MDk

  154. One was assaulted.

  155. Bowzie Wowzie!!!

  156. You shot that damned dog, didn’t you?

  157. Boy, go gitcha mama.

  158. Because this is a dry cleaners, son.

  159. Cause my sistah has a patch of cotton about yea big and she owns all of them cars.

  160. Young lady how long did it take you to hoard all them quarters?

    About six months…..but my sister whored half of ’em.

  161. “If you don’t mind, I wanna watch that mama take off.”

    Cause my sistah has a patch of cotton about yea big and she owns all of them cars.

    Don’t know that one, PG.

  162. The Aristocrats!

  163. “Usually a lollipop.”

  164. That’s funny, I dreamed I was skiing!

  165. I bit her on the tit, she farted and flew out the window!

    (Also, ‘sup fagz?)

  166. “You can only fit three fingers in a bowling ball.”

  167. “Can’t you be Steve? I want to be Frank this time!”

  168. “She has a tampon tucked under her ear and she can’t find her pencil.”

  169. Okay, which one of you is studying abroad?

    “A US exchange student had to be delivered from a giant stone vagina in Germany after a dare went awry. German emergency services were called to make a safe withdrawal of the student from the marble sculpture of a vulva in the grounds of Tubingen University Institute of Microbiology.”
    http://www.news.com.au/world/us-exchange-student-pulled-from-tubingen-university-marble-vagina/story-fndir2ev-1226963283491

  170. …and don’t call me Shirley.

  171. “It’s not real bright, but its cheap, and spreads easy.”

  172. “Yeah, Pa told me the same thing.”

  173. “Hang on, let me get my hat.”

  174. “Very well, then–death by Bunga-Bunga!”

  175. “I wanted to, but I couldn’t move my hands!”

  176. “Yes, but if you rub it for a minute, it turns into a briefcase.”

  177. I study broads all the time, George, but it wasn’t me.

  178. “If you want to, reach over and tug it once. If you don’t want to, reach over and tug it 100 times.”

  179. “A lot of things have to happen to get a pussy wet.”

  180. “The more you bang it, the looser it gets!”

  181. “It’s difficult to open the legs on an ironing board.”

  182. Hillary Clinton insists she isn’t “well-off” and now daughter Chelsea, according to a recent interview, claims she couldn’t care less about money.

    “I was curious if I could care about (money) on some fundamental level, and I couldn’t,” she told Fast Company in an interview…

    The Clinton name likely opened doors for the political heiress, including an eye-popping $600,000 annual salary for an irregular stint as an NBC special correspondent, but Chelsea insists her work speaks for itself.

    It indeed speaks for itself. Like my anus after garlic soup and chicken vindaloo.

  183. President Obama and wife Michelle slept in separate bedrooms due to a marital fight during a first-term Martha’s Vineyard vacation, according to an excerpt from Ed Klein’s newly released book “Blood Feud.”

    “They slept in their own bedrooms,” a Blue Heron Farm staffer told Klein for his expose on the Obamas’ relationship with Bill and Hillary Clinton, released Monday. “They both had stacks of books by their beds…”

    “The president ate in bed,” the staffer added. “You had to change the sheets every day. He smoked cigarettes and didn’t try to hide it at all. And he snores. I heard him. He ate a lot of junk food, chips and stuff. He loved fudge and bought it from Murdick’s Fudge. It was a wonder that he stayed so thin.” […]

    “The Obamas seemed like they were bickering a lot, but they whispered so you couldn’t exactly hear what it was about,” the staffer said.

    I’m sure it was all Bush’s fault.

  184. Chelsea Clinton cares about money the same way I care about oxygen, and for the same reason.

    I bet her mathematical skills are on par with 0bama’s.

  185. It was a wonder that he stayed so thin.”

    Drugs.

    Actually, the “workout” video that was posted a few weeks ago was almost frightening. He’s not healthy. I wouldn’t be surprised if he doesn’t live more than a few years out of the White House.

  186. I wouldn’t be surprised if he doesn’t live more than a few years out of the White House.

    I wouldn’t be surprised but I might be thrilled.

  187. “Harelip! Harelip!”

  188. The AIDS is going to catch up with him soon.

  189. BIG EARS BIG EARS

  190. “They both had stacks of books by their beds…”

    What do you want to bet they were all books about/by them?

  191. “They both had stacks of books by their beds…”

    There’s no evidence either of them actually read any.

  192. But, he’s the smartest person EVAH to be President! He’s bored, it’s so dull, and unchallenging.

    Hmm, that kinda qualifies as a punch line, doesn’t it?

  193. I’d bet my life Obama was reading something by Toni Morrison.

    Barack, I mean.

  194. George and Laura were readers. Teh stoopid. Der. TFG and the Mooch? Our intellectual betters. Totes not AA poster children. I think TFG kept getting photographed with the “Same” book on his way to AF1/Marine1

  195. But, he’s the smartest person EVAH to be President! He’s bored, it’s so dull, and unchallenging.

    I bet he can’t finish a level 1 Sudoku puzzle.

  196. “how ’bout a little head?”

  197. Hey now, I can’t either!

  198. It would take a lot of work but It would be fascinating to read all of the jokes to these punchlines.
    You funny bastages.

  199. ‘Oh, we just love the chocolate around them’, replied the old lady.

  200. Well…which one are you?

  201. “I bet my friend 500 shekels that I could piss in your beard and still you would rejoice!”

  202. Sorry Puppah. I’m not used to this new WP crap.
    Look a kitty!

  203. “You’re right–you don’t have teeth down there and your gums are in terrible shape!”

  204. I bet he can’t finish a level 1 Sudoku puzzle.

    That’s only because he’s so smart he only knows numbers in base 16.

  205. Those who understand binary, and those who don’t.

  206. Went to view a very interesting hybrid auction. The place had online bidders, telephone bidders, and on-site live bidders all going after the same items. It was kind of mind-blowing how orderly and seamlessly the whole thing went.

    One of the wonderful aspects was that the people who were physically there, responded to the presence of online and telephone bidders in the same way they responded to the bids of other people present in the room. These old-timers know this auction house. But they are not necessarily tech-embracing. So. They trust the process = they trust the auctioneer.

    That was such a vote of confidence. I really, really want to do more business for and with these people. Honor is so rare a trait in any day.

  207. Went to view a very interesting hybrid auction. The place had online bidders, telephone bidders, and on-site live bidders all going after the same items. It was kind of mind-blowing how orderly and seamlessly the whole thing went.

    One of the wonderful aspects was that the people who were physically there, responded to the presence of online and telephone bidders in the same way they responded to the bids of other people present in the room. These old-timers know this auction house. But they are not necessarily tech-embracing. So. They trust the process = they trust the auctioneer.

    That was such a vote of confidence. I really, really want to do more business for and with these people. Honor is so rare a trait in any day.
    ——–
    Huh.

  208. Just watched Wolf of Wall Street
    The first half is absolutely hilarious

  209. It’s like Tomorrowland, today.

    What did you bid on? New nurses shoes?

  210. Went to view a very interesting hybrid auction. The place had online bidders, telephone bidders, and on-site live bidders all going after the same items. It was kind of mind-blowing how orderly and seamlessly the whole thing went.

    One of the wonderful aspects was that the people who were physically there, responded to the presence of online and telephone bidders in the same way they responded to the bids of other people present in the room. These old-timers know this auction house. But they are not necessarily tech-embracing. So. They trust the process = they trust the auctioneer.

    That was such a vote of confidence. I really, really want to do more business for and with these people. Honor is so rare a trait in any day.

    “Don’t worry.” said the Auctioneer, “He can talk. Who do you think kept bidding against you?”

  211. lauraw, i remember when honor and honest back and forth between opposing positions was the norm. Trust the process. Obey the law.

  212. Went to view a very interesting hybrid auction. The place had online bidders, telephone bidders, and on-site live bidders all going after the same items. It was kind of mind-blowing how orderly and seamlessly the whole thing went.

    One of the wonderful aspects was that the people who were physically there, responded to the presence of online and telephone bidders in the same way they responded to the bids of other people present in the room. These old-timers know this auction house. But they are not necessarily tech-embracing. So. They trust the process = they trust the auctioneer.

    That was such a vote of confidence. I really, really want to do more business for and with these people. Honor is so rare a trait in any day.

    ————–

    Man, that’s one helluva long punchline.

  213. Auctioneer rap, cowz!

  214. I am going to fucking kill you all.

  215. Went to view a very interesting hybrid auction. The place had online bidders, telephone bidders, and on-site live bidders all going after the same items. It was kind of mind-blowing how orderly and seamlessly the whole thing went.
    One of the wonderful aspects was that the people who were physically there, responded to the presence of online and telephone bidders in the same way they responded to the bids of other people present in the room. These old-timers know this auction house. But they are not necessarily tech-embracing. So. They trust the process = they trust the auctioneer.
    That was such a vote of confidence. I really, really want to do more business for and with these people. Honor is so rare a trait in any day.

    That’s one very long punchline.

  216. I remember when standing in line and waiting your turn was just understood. It just was. I H8 line jumpers. I H8 people that don’t understand the power of the queue. I’m rayciss.

  217. GODDAMN YOU TO HELL, SEAN M.
    TO HELL.
    TO H-E-L-L.

    Or Panorama City. Same deal.

  218. Went to view a very interesting hybrid auction. The place had online bidders, telephone bidders, and on-site live bidders all going after the same items. It was kind of mind-blowing how orderly and seamlessly the whole thing went.
    One of the wonderful aspects was that the people who were physically there, responded to the presence of online and telephone bidders in the same way they responded to the bids of other people present in the room. These old-timers know this auction house. But they are not necessarily tech-embracing. So. They trust the process = they trust the auctioneer.
    That was such a vote of confidence. I really, really want to do more business for and with these people. Honor is so rare a trait in any day.

    —————————–

    Can you get me one of these:

    *asking for a friend*

  219. Aww, is that a teensy lil’ bone saw, Sawbones? It’s distressingly cute.

  220. How do people even understand cattle auctioneers? It’s gibber.

  221. Panorama City. Heh. That place sux

  222. Can you get me one of these:

    I think I saw Leon carrying one of those out to the deep freezer.

  223. GODDAMN YOU TO HELL, SEAN M.
    TO HELL.
    TO H-E-L-L.

    Or Panorama City. Same deal.

    Whoa, whoa, whoa there, Eric–don’t let’s say anything we can’t take back here.

  224. The Nurse Templar
    http://tinyurl.com/pwl45m5

  225. Game of Thrones Lesson One: midgets get laid.

  226. The following is a presentation of Rosetta Community Theater:

    lauraw: *Knock, knock*

    scott: *remains totally silent, hides in closet*

    lauraw: Let me in I have a story to tell you.

    scott: *mutters under his breath*. Please no…this is not how I want to spend the last few years if my life.

    lauraw: Went to view a very interesting hybrid auction. The place had online bidders, telephone bidders, and on-site live bidders all going after the same items. It was kind of mind-blowing how orderly and seamlessly the whole thing went. One of the wonderful aspects was that the people who were physically there, responded to the presence of online and telephone bidders in the same way they responded to the bids of other people present in

    scott: *sticks barrel of gun in mouth, takes own life*

    lauraw: the room. These old-timers know this auction house. But they are not necessarily tech-embracing. So. They trust the process = they trust the auctioneer. That was such a vote of confidence. I really, really want to do more business for and with these people. Honor is so rare a trait in any day.

    Leo Tolstoy: Jesus woman, wrap it up.

    Fin.

  227. Get him, lauraw.

  228. Rosetta, that wasn’t Tolstoy but Chekov.

  229. Anything I say about the following link would be rayciss, so I’ll just present it without comment:

    http://tinyurl.com/m7to2ff

  230. I blame Mare.

  231. (((Hugs))) Rosetta for saying what I wanted to say last night. (((KICKS))) in shins for Tolstoy/ng lauraw’s story.

  232. FIFA asks Mexican fans to stop saying “Puto”. FIFA holds next World Cup in Qatar.

  233. No, it’s ok, that was very boring of me.

  234. Rosetta, that wasn’t Tolstoy but Chekov.

    Walter Koenig?

  235. So, this is a really great internet radio station that I’m hooked on. It’s a perfect mix. YMMV but if you dig it, pass it on.

    http://www.slacker.com/#stations/431227416/1855

    The DJ was a frontman for the best bands in Sandyego.

  236. Rosetta, that wasn’t Tolstoy but Chekov.
    Walter Koenig?

    Keptain, everyone knows the Wussians inwented boredom.

  237. Anything I say about the following link would be rayciss, so I’ll just present it without comment:
    http://tinyurl.com/m7to2ff

    I don’t get it. Mexicans are always flooding Huntington Park streets. Why the story?

  238. I bid on a Puto today at an online/old time lottery/auction/potlatch thing. I did not win but the girl who did win let me see it so, not a bad day all in all.

  239. Cabron puta puta puta

  240. You didn’t want the Puto anyway, Chumps. They blow up if you hit them from behind.

  241. Anita is on the phone to her insurance guy, Kieth.
    Time to renew, or go on the exchange(which is totally fucked-up).
    I heard her her tell him;
    “The policy you sold me is going to pay nothing for the diagnostic-imaging for my hip-dislocation, nothing for the ER fees, nothing for the reduction, and bupkis for the $932 ambulance ride.
    You want me to renew?
    Let me check my Excel spreadsheet. Oh, it looks like the premium increases by 103%, the deductible doubles, and, as you are fronting for them, you need a throat-punch. It’s lucky, for you, that you are not here.
    I think that she may be less than pleased with her health-insurance…

  242. Puta sounds like a pretty Mexican flower.

  243. Puta sounds like a pretty Mexican flower.

    So does “verga,” but don’t go around asking for a bunch of them.

  244. laura, I liked your story. I just did that because these meatheads were having a difficult time properly mocking you so thought i would help.

    *buys laura a martini and a shot of Jaeger*

  245. *sends Cyn a bouquet of putas*

  246. Only the pink ones please!

  247. ew

  248. We say “Jodido” or “Maricon”. I didn’t realize “Puto” was worse than “Puta”

  249. “Only the pink ones please!”

    You’re disgusting!

  250. Hi. Are you new here?

  251. Did anybody decide it wasn’t worth it to steal anybody else’s identity today?

  252. Who’s new here? LET’S KILL’EM!!

  253. *grabs a torch and pitchfork*

  254. Sorry but all torches and pitchforks have been confiscated by DHS as a precautionary measure to protect our fine public servants in Washington.

  255. *grabs porch and titfork*

  256. *Burns all the spinning wheels*

  257. Can you work with this one Rosetta?

    Comment by lauraw on May 14, 2014 3:19 pm
    Just saw a Baltimore Oriole fly across the yard! This makes me happy because of something that happened a couple hours ago.
    I came home from an errand today and couldn’t pull into the driveway because there was a Baltimore Oriole standing right at the end of it. Barely standing, that is. I drove around him, up onto the lawn and he just stood there with his beak open, panting on the hot pavement. I got right up to him but he didn’t move away. He looked stunned and his feet were askew under him. Something pulpy and bloody was happening at the end of the inside of his open beak. Dammit.
    So, I walked away from him, up to our porch door, and found his wife dead on the front step. Looks like they both hit the glass.
    I got a rag and picked him up and put him in the shady fold of the crabapple tree, about four feet off the ground. He shivered and was able to move a little bit. I saw him pick up his foot and move it when I set him in the tree. Then I picked up his departed lady and deposited her under the forsythia hedge.
    Later on Scott went out to check on the fellow and said he flew away at his approach. Which is good, though I wonder if he’ll survive his injury.
    Very sad. They are among my favorite birds, because they’re so uncommon around here, and so vivid.
    Anyway, I hope the one I just saw was my little buddy and that he’s feeling better.

  258. Baltimore Orioles. 1.5 games behind the effing Toronto Blue Jays.

  259. Pretty sure this comment would have pushed Scoot over the edge if anything would.

  260. Okay. Now I get to slide into interminable Los Angeles traffic. Envious?

  261. At least you are at .500 and playing the Kubz, oso.

  262. J’ames, I remember when WGN used to broadcast baseball games and not TBBT in syndication.

  263. I think I finally got Fat Bastard.

  264. I (heart) LW.
    thats a nice story.

  265. you’re ok too Scott.

  266. Fat Bastard is swimming with the fishes????

  267. I am.

  268. Scott, how many Warewolves is Laura fighting out in the yard right now?

  269. No confirmation yet, but I am confident.

  270. What’d you get him with?

    Did you finish him off for sure?

    Be. Sure.

  271. We need a tee.

  272. Pics or it didn’t happen

  273. 3, but she’s got her trusty umbrella so she should be fine.

  274. I prefer my putas to be a light shade of brown. YMMV.

  275. Make sure to use bricks on the grave, scott. Not a bucket.

  276. Thanks to Dan losing 2 grocery associates this week, I have to walk home again tomorrow. Should I get H8CHKN or Carl Jrs for lunch?

  277. Behead. Body and head buried separately.

  278. You should listen to Leon. He’s pre-animal-mortician.

  279. Haha, the Wal Mart story at AOS is a hoot!

    http://blog.walmart.com/fact-check-the-new-york-times-the-corporate-daddy

  280. Ewwww. Make something.

  281. I don’t know, scott. H8CHKN is pretty tasty.

  282. I don’t know what that is.

  283. I’m more of an undead-animal expert.

  284. Spicy H8CHKN combo it is!

  285. Chick-fil-A. They support traditional marriage. Ipso facto H8CHKN.

  286. I have not had fast food in 10 years.

    I stopped at a McDonalds for coffee a while ago and went WTF?

  287. Their menu didn’t change for 50 years, now I don’t know what they sell.

  288. Well tonight was good.

    Nite my friends.

  289. Doesn’t matter, it’s crap.

  290. als jaeger is definitely not your friend

  291. McDonalds is .4 miles in the wrong direction.

  292. Carl’s Jr. rocks.

  293. Bye Dave. Pleasant dreams. Don’t let the Putos byte the putas.

  294. So is Freddy’s. Mmmm…Freddy’s. I might just walk to WalMart and buy a book and a Coke Zero.

  295. McDonalds is always in the wrong direction.

  296. But their bathrooms are pretty clean. Usually.

  297. The Bacon McDouble is manna from heaven.

  298. I’m with scott on McDonalds. It’s crap.

  299. Clean bathrooms are important.

  300. Yeah, you spend a lot of time in the bathroom, after McDonalds.

  301. “The Nurse Templar”
    she’s kinda hot – i’d hit it

  302. Breakfast McMuffin is pretty diabetic friendly.

  303. Road Trip tips: Sam’s Club bathrooms and the employee bathrooms at WalMart. Back of the store. By the Site to Store desk.

  304. Iowa Cubs beat the Isotopes, but the Reds are spanking the Northsiders.

  305. Isotopes are Dodger larva. I boo them at home.

  306. *grabs tit and porchfork

  307. Gotta go in early, for the foreseeable future. Sucks being the guy who knows the system best.

    Gnite!

  308. Sunday AM, allergies had me puking. Not a fan of lung butter. Dan was pissed because I didn’t take into account 15 minutes of puking and I was 3 minutes late for work. Should I factor in puke time for tomorrow’s alarm clock, or hope that I don’t churn lung butter and cough all night?

  309. TMI TMI !!!!

  310. Nighty dreams, J’ames

  311. Allergies have never made me puke.

  312. It is the mucus draining into my tummy.

  313. I H8 mucus. I can’t even clean up eggs that have broken.

  314. TMI TMI

  315. Mmm. Light traffic and pork tacos at home. No mucus, however.

  316. Is this the same country that defeated Germany, bombed Japan, brought down the Soviet empire and sent a man to the moon?

  317. Lung Butter did a compilation album with Black Flag and The Cramps.

  318. I preferred Red Flag/

  319. Tushar, nothing could be funnier than trolling the people who post that dreck.

  320. My first poat in forever is scheduled for tomorrow morning. Yay.

  321. This is a lot of pressure on you, Mr. Bont. Have you checked grammar and punctuation? Because Hotspur will be watching. MJ will check for adequate gif content. Leon will inspect for tuckers. Can you handle this responsibility?

  322. Yay, Sean. I’m factoring in potential puke time for the AM. G’night. My triggers are real, and they are spectacular!

  323. *googles triggers*

    o^O

  324. Just back back from lovely Buffalo, NY.

    Can see how it’s a fun city.

    The inbound/outbound flight times didn’t allow drinking, but from walking around downtown I can see how Chippewa Street could be fun.

    Next layover is San Jose, CA.

    That will suck. Due to a massive Tony Robbins conference (he’s still a thing?) I have to stay out by the airport. Hello airport hotel bar, my old friend.

  325. No gifs. No tuckers. Fuck Hospurt.

  326. San Jose is good for getting out of. That, and gang activity.

  327. Do you know the way to San Jose?

  328. From where? You’ll have to give us more information, osita.

  329. I’ve been away so long, I may go wrong and lose my way…

  330. LA is a great big freeway…

  331. I run for the bus dear
    While riding I think of us dear
    I say a little derp for you
    At work I just take time
    And all thru my coffee break time
    I say a little derp for you


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