Things I did Today

My fingers got dirty. Then I napped in the pool.

I love me.


photo (1)

photo (5)

Cyn will have to fix this.



photo (2)


I’m the best.



UPDATE I did this too. Flag Day yo.


Also check out the post on Chick at the mothership.


Flag Day 2014


  1. Which fag poated this poat?

  2. look at the pretty flowers and be happy

  3. Cyn has fixed this.

    Very pretty, Dave.

  4. You can afford non-smokable plants??

    One percenter!!!1!!11!

  5. What are the peach flowers, Dave? Recognize all of the other stuff; very pretty!

  6. Used to have some Antique Petunias – they came back year after year, and scented the whole yard. Then one year all of the AQs in the neighborhood just up and died. Don’t know what happened. We need to get some more of those to plant….

  7. look at the pretty flowers and be happy


  8. The peachy ones look like a hibiscus…

  9. like most things, my knowledge of flowers is limited.
    I can recognize roses and lotuses. That is about it.

  10. Hibiscus.

    Check out the big brain on Tushar.

    Hold still. Think happy thoughts.

  11. Lotuses are good eatin’.

    Wait, what was I saying?

  12. Oh wait that was Cyn.

    Smot gal

  13. Hi biscuits… with gravy… mmmmmcarbs

  14. >>Check out the big brain on Tushar.
    >>Oh wait that was Cyn.

    So, I make a dumb comment, Cyn makes a smart comment, and Dave praises me. You need more naps, Dave.

  15. *snugs cyn. ignores everybody*

  16. Slightly NSFW.

  17. One of my hibiscus didn’t make it this year. I got a new one today, Cranberry instead of pink.

  18. oso, Cardinals game is about to start.

    Just so you know.

  19. Hostages start young.

  20. Great. Look like my yoohoo mail got hacked. That, or I’m sending out spam about weight loss in my sleep.

  21. I like your milkshake, Puppeh.

    *waggles eyebrows*

  22. Well, congrats on the diet, Sean!

  23. Happened to me too, Sean. I changed passwords.

  24. Do you guys use password managers? Like Kee Pass or Last Pass? I like them.

  25. Wait… that email… wasn’t from you after all Sean and I really am not a fatass and I don’t have to successfully lose this baby weight no matter how long I’ve had it?!?


  26. Give me your email address, J’Ames. Apparently, weight loss is easy.

  27. The only password manager I have is an old school Rolodex. I have trained the family that, in the event of emergency, they should get the Rolodex out first and me laying crippled with two broken legs and whatnot should come second.

  28. Jeez, that’s what encrypted files are for.

  29. I hate Obama:

  30. It’s a damn shame.

  31. So since I don’t need to diet anymore *cough*, do I splurge with:
    A. Twinkies
    2. Ding Dongs
    iii. Ho Hos
    $. Vodka
    Z. All of the Above

  32. MOM!!!!!!!1


  33. I bet there’s a flavored vodka that would cover the splurge.

  34. I thought the only vodka-swilling Ho who eats Twinkies’ Dongs around here was Rosetta.

  35. Snoop would say Ho Hos. He’s pretty much my go-to guy for advice.

  36. Congrats, Rocketboy!!!

  37. So Cyn, cutie love.. what do you do when you fix pics?

  38. Ancient Chinese Secret

  39. So…cat meat?

  40. But if you were to torture me, I would reveal shit that’s in Teh Handbookie up in one of them thar tabs:

    If you insert a picture into your poat, please, please please ‘Edit Image’ to delete the “Link URL” in its entirety. These pics bring out the evil photo spambots with a vengeance and that makes Cyn crabby like you have no idea. To do this, click on a pic and you’ll see it become highlighted with two icons appearing; click the left one that looks like a mountain [it’s a pencil now], “Edit Image”, and a new window pops open. Toward the bottom is “Link URL” and below the link itself are three buttons a drop down arrow; click the one that says “None” and it will remove the linky back to the blog. A bit below that, click “Update” and the window will close. Fin.

  41. *glares at Sean with “The Look That Silences” and hands him a Tootsie Pop*

  42. Ooh, it’s one with a star on the wrapper!

  43. so just delete “link URL”? is that the deal? *massages your feet in anticipation of a reply

  44. can’t I just let you fix these? I only post 2x a year

  45. *eyes roll back with foot massage*

    Yes, just delete the Link URL setting by changing to “None”.

    Or you can massage my feet twice a year and I do it for free. Any more than that and we gotsta renegotiate.

  46. Also, plain ole tuna salad with a dash of soy sauce and pan fried in butter for lettuce wraps may be my best creation of yum evar.

  47. *rubs under your toe knuckles* you were sayin?

  48. That sounds good. Is it literally rolled in lettuce?

  49. asf;jeawie sadroiery bbaieoanreqqq mmmmmm

  50. Literally. We have Romaine (hi Roamy!) here, but I bet Iceberg would be good too.

  51. Romaine would be tasty. Can’t believe I haven’t had a lettuce wrap. Sounds right up my alley.

  52. Did anybody roll their eyes at anybody else’s enthusiasm about some soccer bullshit today?


  54. Just wrap the lettuce like a rolling paper

  55. Or like a tortilla, if you’re into that sort of thing.

  56. your arches seem tighty

  57. *nods and winces*

  58. this calls for the thumb pressing

  59. see the thumb presses while the fingers caress all the metatarsals on top.. it’s magical

  60. mmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmagic yes

  61. That tuna lettuce wrap is a keeper. And maybe all of one or two carbs total.


  63. I got a password stick.

  64. howdy,
    sounds good Cyn

  65. The Angels’ closer is fucking killing me. Came into the bottom of the 9th with a 5-1 lead. It’s now 5-4, nobody out, with a runner on third.

  66. Tie game. Fuck this guy.

  67. hold still already

  68. Stupid Braves.

  69. How many times is MJ going to use his mini-whisk in a public video, before I laugh so hard that I stroke out?

    Because he is so SERIOUS about that fucking mini-whisk in these videos. Like it is so vitally different from a fucking chopstick or even your goddamn index finger, when you’re dealing with fluids sloshing around among ice chunks.

  70. Huh. I have never heard that song before. Is that a new release?

  71. just came out. I never played this in 1977

  72. And I never danced to it literally all night in Missouri.

  73. Why do you have shoulder pads?

  74. How many times is MJ going to use his mini-whisk in a public video, before I laugh so hard that I stroke out?

    Ok, I just watched the video. WTH? Hahaha. That thing is…..I dunno.

  75. Is the mini-whisk going to replace or suppliment the muddler?

  76. Okay, where is this video of MJ and his whisk?

  77. Sean…..

    Pay special close attention to the fancy double twirl at the beginning. Thing of beauty.

  78. It was pretty impressive.

  79. W-why does he have little bowls of juice? Who does that?

  80. “Is the mini-whisk going to replace or suppliment the muddler?”


  81. Tied up again, Sean.

  82. I know, osita. I know.

  83. Augh!!! That last at bat was killing me! I need to just watch As/Yankees and stay off the computer.

  84. Did we ever get confirmation from Car in that she has the muddler?

  85. She is not giving it up.

  86. selfish

  87. Is it a magic muddler?

  88. Her words…..cold dead hands.

  89. We’re gonna need an intervention.

  90. It’s wrong, but I like her too much to kill her over a muddler.

  91. she stole my hat

  92. We can kill her for the hat.

  93. That muddler came from the late Patty Ann. For all of us. And it has traveled from the TX meetup, to my meetup, to another meetup, to another meetup, etc. for the last few years. It is gonna make its way to the next one, Hell or high water.

    That is all. Get your shit together and do the right thing.

  94. *muddles it over*

  95. Patty Ann.


  96. So not an intervention but a murdering. *grabs toothbrush and hazmat jumpsuit*


  97. Really Laura, you should change your attitude towards Car in and love her like Tushar would love her.

  98. gets a flamethrower

  99. i held the muddler once.
    but just once

  100. Took Mini-me to a birthday party tonight. They went all out and hired a DJ. I embarrassed Mini-me by dancing the Cupid Shuffle. Parenting win!

  101. I “held” the muddler once too.

  102. The muddler is just an object. Purchased by PattyAnn on Amazon some years ago, and therefore utterly replaceable.

    Yet it represents something meaningful and irreplaceable.

    It is meant to be passed on.

  103. And functionally, it’s actually a kickass muddler. Heavy, with little teeth at the base. Perfect for smushing up vegetation in the bottom of a glass.

  104. Way to go, Roamy!

  105. Vegetation… And fruit.

  106. You could kill a person with it.

    I’m just sayin

  107. mush em up into a pulp of goo and put em in bags and wipe everything clean..

    did I say that out loud?

  108. Soylent Mojito?

  109. i agree it is a thing,
    but it is our thing

  110. and should be passed from hostage to hostage as a relic

  111. I didn’t see or hear nuthin.

  112. Meat up to meat up. Like the Olympic Flame.

  113. *hears “Chariots of Fire” song in my head*

  114. Fox Muddler

  115. Fox Muddler? Really? Really? TROUT!!!!!

  116. Ha!

  117. I’m keeping quiet about the game, oso. But I Want To Believe.

  118. That Trout shouldn’t have been part of my questioning of the Fox Muddler. Breathing easier.

  119. In S.L. I reached into the ice chest for the Jager and pulled out the muddler. I’m not saying that I put it right back in the ice chest either. It’s Hypnotic.

  120. somebody has to be sober on a bass guitar tomorrow

    nite kids

  121. It does have a kind of power. Yep.

  122. Nighty night, Dave

  123. Gnight David In The State of Texas. Bring that bass fiddle to AZ

  124. I think I will call it a night too, mah peeps.

  125. Prolly not a lot of panties thrown at Dave in church, huh?

  126. From Montesquieu,

    “Therefore aristocratic families should be of the people as far as possible. The more an aristocracy approaches democracy the more perfect it will be, and to the degree it approaches monarchy the less perfect it will become.”

  127. Sleep tight, dave. Dream of a world where people don’t wander off to get a beverage or start up a conversation during your solos.

  128. G’night, Cyn. Thanks for the Tootsie Pop earlier. Your secret is safe with me.

  129. Whew. Fat lady just finished singing. G’night, Dave.

  130. Okay…




  131. Nice win, you guys.

  132. Evenin’, tools.

    I talked for a while about guns here: (starts at 1:00:00)

  133. I’ve sold more of Mariano’s book, than Cankles.

  134. Good work Andy. Imma listen to that later tonight. There sure are a lot of Mo Rons on the radio these days. That’s good to see (hear) whateve.

  135. Thought the same thing. We’re doing a shit ton of audio these days (looks askance at Wiser).

    I started the podcast as a way to take the blog with you on your commute, etc., but this seems to be a bigger trend

  136. Just so you know, I’m available to talk at length about Diet Dr Pepper tasting more like regular. Or politics. Whatever.

  137. I think that your calling is in Flaming the Angels. Double 0. That was aws!

  138. Rebecca’s Kindle is officially kaput. Luckily, we have a couple of older ones lying around, cuz she LOOOOVES her Kindle, and we are headed out on vacation tomorrow to places with no internet service. New one being shipped next week.

    If I don’t get on here tomorrow, I hope everyone has a great Father’s Day and a great week. Hopefully things won’t blow up in the world while we’re gone…..

  139. I love you guys.

  140. Thanks TiF. Safe travels and good times. I’m 98.7 percent sure we’ll be here when ye get back.

  141. 98.6 max

  142. I wish I was like you
    Easily amused
    Find my derp of salt
    Everything is my fault
    I’ll take all the blame
    Aqua sea foam shame
    Sunburn with freezer burn
    Choking on the ashes of her enemy

  143. Happy Father’s Day to all you baby daddies out there and step-daddies like me!

    Off to fix one of these:

    (No matter how much your kids beg you, do not buy a trampoline!)

  144. Morning, children.

  145. Wow. Slept in until 0820. Best Father’s Day Ever!

  146. I wasn’t a big fan of Rick Santorum before he robo-called me this morning. I hate his guts now. WTF, it’s 7:30. Whose fucking brilliant idea was this?

  147. WTF was he robo-calling about? Aluminum siding?

  148. I think he was fundraising for someone, but I didn’t let him finish.

  149. You hung up on a robo caller?

    That’s rude.

  150. Heh, Scott, I’m such a meanie.

  151. Speaking of mean, I liked S. Weasel’s link to Greenwich Mean Time.

  152. Greenwich sounds like a vegan meal option that I wouldn’t like.

  153. Hey Leon…what’s the rules for fireworks in MI? I can buy them in Ohio but I have to promise not to set them off in-state.

    I’m asking for a friend who lives on a lake.

  154. Our fireworks laws have loosened a lot since I last bought them. Airborne stuff is legal now, as I understand it, and it was always “legal” in the sense that unless your neighbors called the cops it didn’t matter.

  155. The loosening is one of the things I credit Snyder with as governor. It’s a little thing, but Jenny Grandstand didn’t do it.

    And ‘Merica.

  156. New Old Post.

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