Daily Dose of Splodey

I usually do this shit over at my place, but the neighbors have started to complain of the noise and shrapnel, but mostly shrapnel.

242 Comments

  1. It’s 6 am!!!!

    finally.

  2. Good morning, you people

  3. The Metallica I’m currently playing goes really well with this poat. just saying, if anyone wants to give it a try.

    The Four Horsemen, to be specific.

  4. Some friendships are exhausting.

    discuss.

  5. I just put up a new post. Hahahaha. I forgot xbrad was doing his yearly thing.

  6. Believe me, I know. Gawd I hate you all.

  7. Save it for later, mj.

  8. You could push the date out to like 6pm.

  9. easter or Pacific?

  10. n

  11. Also, Mother Angelica was pretty cool.

  12. Is? She’s still alive, but in her mid-90s.

  13. *puts up with MJ

    *again

  14. Does MJ need help changing the publish date?

  15. Perry has uttered one of those ugly truths that can no longer be spoken aloud. Never mind that his position was considered normal if not outright generous just a few decades ago. I believe it is still the normal position in much of the western world.

    It’s a shame, he would have been a good president.

  16. Thanks faces of dick.

  17. Did I kill it or did dickface kill it?

  18. Dickface.

  19. See? This is why we need to keep multiple options like Ted Cruz, Rand Paul, Walker, Paul Ryan, Ben Carson, Allen West etc alive rather than marking them unacceptable early on.

    Our guys are eager to put their foots in their mouths. The one who keeps his mouth mostly shut will be our candidate.

  20. Well, iffen nothing’s going on here, guess i’ll go get another load of mulch.

  21. A search for sugar free toothpaste turns up nothing.
    That is the last piece of carb I need to eliminate

  22. dammit

  23. * changes all the clocks to Easter time *

  24. You shouldn’t be eating any toothpaste, Tushar. Says so right on the tube.

  25. Here comes Peter Cottontail…

  26. Thanks, Leon!

    I never thought of that!

    I am sure some sugar gets absorbed through the membrane of mouth.

    If not, chewing all kinds of desserts and spitting them out may be a good way to have your cake and not eat it too.

  27. Tasting sweet things can cause anticipatory insulin rise, Tushar, that’s part of the problem with diet sodas and splenda/aspartame/etc.

  28. *chugs 2 liter bottle of Diet Dr Pepper, wipes mouth with inside of a Twinkie wrapper

    Man up, pussies.

  29. Tushar, I wouldn’t worry about your toothpaste. Srsly.

    Track your food for awhile and check your macros. If you’re really not making progress, it’s possible (though unlikely) that you actually have too much protein coming in relative to fat calories, and you’re building an excess of glucose through gluconeogenesis.

  30. Today is not tracking well. Everybody seems to be on edge…here in the office, on email and on the phone. Maybe it is just me, I’m the common denominator.

  31. Just get all your teeth pulled. No more toothpaste.

  32. Pupster, did you leave the spiked collar on when you went to work today?

  33. * invents gumpaste *

  34. * gumbrush *

  35. Gross

  36. Pupster, I’m hearing you.

    Why even try?

    *gives up

  37. I saw gluconeogenesis before Peter Gabriel left the band.

  38. What’s lauraw swearing about?

  39. Ha! The XBrad solution!

    Leon, I lost barely 6-7 lb in 7 weeks. I am definitely not consuming excess protein. If I don’t see steady reduction, I may go hmmmm….

  40. Are you measuring your waist week to week? You might be re-composing and not actually changing scale-weight.

  41. I have lost an inch and half (SYWM, everyone), but I don’t see how I could be adding muscle. I am not doing any strength training yet.

    I am seeing all other benefits like steady energy, lack of hunger, much lesser knee pain etc.

    I think I should stop eating those damn cashews. Almost a fistful everyday.

  42. I saw gluconeogenesis before Peter Gabriel left the band.
    ——————-
    hahahahahaha

  43. I think Lauraw was cursing because she was left on HHD.

  44. Is it time to stomp this post yet?

  45. Laura is swearing because of YOU guys.

  46. Tushar, muscle growth is dependent largely on hormone signaling. The reason we strength train is to force the signaling to switch to “grow”, but it’s not the only way to create that signal. They’ve done the “sitting on your ass taking anabolics” experiment and found that for a given period of time, you could add more muscle that way than lifting without the anabolics.

    You’re eating adequate protein and fat, and that tells your body that you are in a safe place with ample food, so it may seek to add muscle purely as storage for protein in case of future hardship. It happened to me when I first switched; my muscle tone improved dramatically without lifting, just because I was eating right.

  47. From your mouth to the ear of the God of metabolism, Leon

  48. I have not tried to measure muscle mass or size, but I have much more strength and endurance now.

  49. Holy crap. The Mississippi river dumps about 500,000 tons of sediment into the Gulf every single day.

    Add in all the other rivers of the world, and volcanic activity, and it might explain why sea levels rise.

  50. Plus the bodies of drowned polar bears.

  51. When you guys smoke salmon, do you brine it first?

  52. >>Holy crap. The Mississippi river dumps about 500,000 tons of sediment into the Gulf every single day.

    that is because of global warming and those reichwing racists in Mississippi who vote for republicans

  53. The only time I smoked salmon, I encrusted it completely in salt, and let it sit for a few days in the fridge (Alton Brown, Good Eats). It came out too salty.

    The goal was to get a good pellicle for the smoke to stick to. If it had soaked for an hour or so after coming out of the salt it would have been ok, but that would have wrecked the pellicle, too.

  54. Holy crap. The Mississippi river dumps about 500,000 tons of sediment into the Gulf every single day.
    Add in all the other rivers of the world, and volcanic activity, and it might explain why sea levels rise.
    ———————–
    Geological activity has nothing to do with the way the earth changes.

    It’s the type of car you drive.

  55. I just googled Al Gore 2014.

    A man should never get any type of plastic surgery unless medically necessary.

  56. The Easter Bunny is not coming around ever again.

  57. Ribs guy said to brine for an hour, rinse, soak in water for an hour.

    I’ll know soon.

  58. When you guys smoke salmon, do you brine it first?

    No, it makes it too wet to stay lit, and tears the rolling papers.

  59. Somebody switched Rebecca out of Free Time on her Kindle, and she downloaded so many apps that she ran it out of storage.

    Guess who gets to spend the day re-downloading all of the movies we had (previously) installed on her Kindle after the factory re-start (because we’re going somewhere next week that gets no internet service)?

    Good times, good times….

  60. Did you back it up? Try backing it up.

  61. We should just tell all of the global warming alarmists that gay sex and smoking pot cause the most damage to the environment and let them run with that for a while.

    Should be good for a few laughs, at least – watching all of their heads explode because they’re going to have to give up their favorite vices.

  62. You leave gay sex and pot out of this!

  63. Yeah, but what about gay pot?

  64. Gay pot?

  65. Sexpot??

  66. It is my understanding that pot often leads to sex.

    And by sex I mean rape, of course.

  67. It is my understanding that pot often leads to sex.

    Only if you don’t have to ever get off the couch.

  68. Ha ha… no, silly: pot makes you sleepy.

    I read this once.

  69. Pot makes you lethargic. If you want sex, you need cocaine and strippers.

  70. The salmon kicks ass. The brown paper bag trick is pretty cool.

  71. Hunh. Really? Okay, why not… I’ll try anything once.

  72. Hunh. Really? Okay, why not… I’ll try anything once.

    Just remember to get the good cocaine and cute strippers.

  73. Penis + blow = http://is.gd/88CWfK

  74. Bow chicka wow wow

  75. Well, as I’d heard it, the pot is for her. You’re supposed to keep the blow for yourself.

  76. I’ve heard that before but I don’t get it. I think it all depends on the user.

  77. Oooh – let’s tell them that abortion causes global warming…..

  78. Starfishing?

  79. I have not tried to measure muscle mass or size, but I have much more strength and endurance now.

    gross

  80. Mulch is spread. Guess it’s time to weed teh garden now.

  81. Starfishing?
    —————–
    No back door for me.

  82. Weed? We were just talking about that.

  83. No back door for me.

    Me either. Not worth the effort and not especially healthy.

  84. Hotspur? MCPO?

    You are adults now. Don’t fight like children.

    http://newyork.cbslocal.com/2014/06/12/naked-man-in-wheelchair-charged-in-beating-of-fellow-nursing-home-patient/

  85. Hi honey, I’m home early!

  86. http://is.gd/eUJdp2

    Gay Flag flying at US Embassy in Israel. Our ambassador is very proud.

  87. I’ll kick his ass. After my nap.

  88. Waiting for them to flay the Gadsden Flag

  89. Gay Flag flying at US Embassy in Israel.

    Looks like some serious anti-semitism to me.

  90. Putincize

  91. Putincize

    I can’t watch the video right now. Is it a video of a Russian man slapping a feckless twerp over and over again?

  92. Part of my IT security training included asking me my age, race, and sexual orientation. I said, “Prefer not to answer” because it’s none of their damn business, and I like screwing up their data.

  93. Clips of obama’s recent workout alternating with well known macho publicity shots of Putin and narrated by a punster with a faux Russian accent.

    Just saved you 40 seconds

  94. asking me my age, race, and sexual orientation.

    Age? I prefer it in my cheese, thanks,
    Race? Only to the bottom.
    Sexual Orientation? Right side up.

  95. >>Putincize

    I can’t watch the video right now. Is it a video of a Russian man slapping a feckless twerp over and over again?

    yes, but verbally.
    And the feckless twerp is exactly the one you guessed

  96. Study for 4 1/2 hours today; just before I start getting ready to go to class, check email. Class canceled. See you next week.

    *debriefs*

  97. In other news, my sugarsnap pea vines are almost seven feet tall and absolutely covered with flowers and immature pods.

    They like this cool weather. Glad something does.

  98. >>>flowers and immature pods.

    That describes more than half the Hostages

  99. See laura, it pays to goof off on the internet!

  100. I sort of got my hair cut today. The salon owner was in the midst of firing an employee, so the drama was on eleventy. The fired employee took the vacuum cleaner as she left, which made for an interesting exit. Never had my hair cut by someone crying before, and I had to come home and re-wash my hair to get the shampoo residue out. I need to figure out just how bad she skunked my hair, if I need to get it cut again or if it can wait a couple of months.

  101. Seriously, I am kind of bummed. I’m already tired so I don’t want to go to a three hour class tonight. But on the other hand, I was so gonna ace that quiz.

  102. Jimbro. Need your email address.

    A friend of mine needs a neck dissection. Do you know anything about it?

  103. Wow, Romy. That sucks for her. But on the other hand, I think you look very pretty in that mohawk/ Rachel/ pixy thing you’re rockin’, there.

  104. Just sent it to your gstringmail

  105. Romacita Bonita? http://is.gd/xUxug9

    I…you…got a little something in your…um. Just, here. Take this.

    *hands you a peanut, and a washcloth*

  106. The burritos are cold !

  107. I need a haircut. , But I gardened all day instead of attending to that need .

  108. Wait, Laura, are they yours?

  109. Does anyone have those stats to refute that white males commit 70% of mass shootings?

  110. The splodey stuff is mesmerizing

  111. This is a bit hyperbolic but still, holy shit

    http://www.cnn.com/2014/06/12/us/north-carolina-nuclear-bomb-drop/index.html?hpt=hp_t2

  112. Beasn, no, but I found the one that listed the drugs they were taking.

    Dave, I worked with a guy whose dad was EOD and did the post-crash recovery. Said his dad came back with white hair from the stress of “if I mess this up, a lot of people die.”

  113. Car in,

    Surely you have some clippers lying around the house. Just give yourself a high and tight.

  114. Thanks Jim.

  115. I can’t even imagine Roamy. Did they even evacuate?

    That woulda been real bad.

  116. Anybody got a beer?

  117. Yes

  118. Dave, there is another case of a bomb that was jettisoned and landed in the delta of a major river – still there to this day. Near Atlanta, I think? The natural background radiation of the surrounding area makes it impossible to locate the thing.

  119. Yeah, there’s been several jettison/drop accidents.

  120. http://formerspook.blogspot.com/2011/02/one-click-away.html

    This says they did evacuate the surrounding area.

  121. Interesting. Is the guy named your friend’s dad?

  122. Not mine, Romy. You stand still, I’m going to see if I can draw them out into a fight over the peanut.

  123. peanut?

  124. Dave, no. Last name was Burch.

  125. I’d listen to the NPR clip on AoS for the schadenfreunde, but that means I’d have to listen to Hillary. Never mind.

  126. Afternoon

  127. Today: Nada.

  128. Gawd Hillary is an awful candidate.

    On a totally different note, FUCK YEAH.

  129. I made it 2 seconds and I wanted to kill a baby seal.

  130. Back from my errands. My question pertained to this shit I saw on my pinterest ‘feed’ –

    “White men make up 36% of the population but commit 75% of mass shootings. What would be called terrorism by any other skin tone is suddenly some mysterious unnamed disease. We as a society are perfectly happy to further stigmatize mentally ill people, who are far more likely to be victims of violence than commit violence, in the service of protecting white supremacy and male entitlement.”

    Discuss.

  131. I still think she’ll be the nominee. Cuomo’s going to wait until 2020.

  132. Worth noting: nearly all “white male mass shooters” were progressives or just flat crazy in the first place.

    Conservative white men commit almost no crimes. Other than the obvious crime of simply being conservative white men.

  133. Worth noting: nearly all “white male mass shooters” were progressives or just flat crazy in the first place.
    ————————
    What I read:

    Worth noting: nearly all ‘white male cross dressers” were progressives or just flat crazy in the first place.

    Why you so hatey?

  134. It’s funny that it’s true whether I wrote or you read it.

    Why you so hatey?

    Because I was called the bad guy so many times I decided they were right.

  135. Jewstin, why nada? Job interviews?

  136. Of the 12,996 murder victims in 2010 for which supplemental data were received, most (77.4 percent) were male. (Based on Expanded Homicide Data Table 1.)
    Concerning murder victims for whom race was known, 50.4 percent were black, 47.0 percent were white, and 2.6 percent were of other races. Race was unknown for 152 victims. (Based on Expanded Homicide Data Table 2.)
    Single victim/single offender situations accounted for 48.4 percent of all murders for which the UCR Program received supplemental data. (See Expanded Homicide Data Table 4.)
    Of the offenders for whom gender was known, 90.3 percent were males. (Based on Expanded Homicide Data Table 3.)
    Of the offenders for whom race was known, 53.1 percent were black, 44.6 percent were white, and 2.3 percent were of other races. The race was unknown for 4,224 offenders. (Based on Expanded Homicide Data Table 3.)

    http://www.fbi.gov/about-us/cjis/ucr/crime-in-the-u.s/2010/crime-in-the-u.s.-2010/offenses-known-to-law-enforcement/expanded/expandhomicidemain

    Blacks were 12% of the population, and committed more than half of all murders.

    Yep, murder is a white male problem.

  137. Sorry, that was really hatey, and verbose.

  138. We should just teach people not to murder.

  139. No material. They took the laser and robot offline today. I have no idea what we’re supposed to do for the next two weeks.

  140. MJ, if you look across the entire nation’s grade school curricula right now, I think you will find that there is not a single course on how to avoid committing the occasional murder.

  141. Education is a scam.

  142. We don’t teach things like not murdering anymore. It’s too Judeo-Christian and thus false by the property of religious contagion.

  143. Every school needs a AMMK certified teacher.

    Anti-Murder, M Kay?

  144. *gets AMMK certification*

    *retires at 52 with a pension*

  145. Dana Loesch’s book cover is… um… motivating.

  146. “Or hey, how about we just teach men not to rape” in response to personal self-defense is about the dumbest goddamn thing I’ve heard this year.

    Let’s wish away the bad people.

  147. I met Dana Loesch couple weeks ago.

    She’s cute.

  148. How tall is she?

  149. Hard to say she was in heels and eye level with me

  150. She looks pretty short.

    I like short.

  151. Happy Friday Eve!! What’s happening hot stuff?

  152. I wouldn’t say short. They weren’t super heels

  153. DiT, Dana from The Five?

  154. Loesch, AW, go look at Insty. He’s got her book cover up.

  155. Leon might agree with Sir Mix-a-lot

    http://tinyurl.com/mjll539

    or is it haunches?

  156. Is she on the Five? I don’t know I don’t watch it. I know she’s on the Blaze.

    *phone makes funny sound*

    Oh cool, tornado watch

    *picks up the beer cans in the back yard so they can’t be projectiles*

  157. Did anybody figure out that anybody else was the one who hadn’t been flushing lately today?

  158. AW is thinking of Dana Perino.

  159. Leon might agree with Sir Mix-a-lot

    I own a copy of the compilation album Monster Booty, you tell me.

    I read a more scholarly article on that topic awhile back.

  160. Blacks were 12% of the population, and committed more than half of all murders.

    But if we apply “Of the offenders for whom gender was known, 90.3 percent were males” to the equation, it looks even worse for Black males, no?

    If we assume a 50/50 split, Black males make up only 6% of the population – and that 6% of the population commits more than half of all murders in the US.

    Maybe we should suggest to all of those feminists who are spouting that “murder is racist” crap that the solution to the problem would be to require all black women to abort any male fetuses they are found to be carrying.

    That would make things more “just”, wouldn’t it?

  161. Yeah, that’s her

  162. I’m done with people ,

  163. Dana Loesch can has the key to my gun safe

  164. Can we have a Michigan hostage meetup? Just a nice dinner or something? I need to restore my faith in fake internet friendships.

  165. Some Sunday . I’ll make a nice prime rib or something. Everyone’s invited,

  166. Road trip to Car in’s house!

    I’m bringing the Tenement-On-Wheels.

  167. Pick a day. We’ll come up. I could even bring this demonic little beast that keeps licking me.

  168. *books flight to MI, Grabs Megadeath CDs

  169. I can’t find Monster Booty.

    *calls police*

  170. She was very nice, and her husband is a riot when you get a couple beers in him

  171. I have Sundays off now . Let’s pick a date.

    *looks forward to megadeath

  172. We have lightning and thunder. Moses the beagle is officially distressed

  173. Awww…give Moses some snuggles.

  174. Moses. Heh. That’s a cool name for a beagle.

  175. Dave’s running with famous circles, now.

  176. I mean, not everybody gets to ride the bus with Mr. Chumpo.

  177. You did.

  178. What an Awesome night. You all have been busy since then. Lot a Meat at the H2. Now I know why.
    (Schoolbus rides around different cities)

  179. That was a fun one.

  180. He’s sitting on my feet panting.

    Chumpo, my eldest daughter named him when he was a puppy nine years ago.

    He’s a good dog.

  181. Three MV-22s just went cruising overhead.

    Kinda weird. You don’t really hear them. But you feel them.

  182. You’ve got a friend in a Beagle. I lived with “Ripley” for three years. He was a real aristocrat.

  183. He’s a very loving pain in the ass.

  184. Osprey are great. I go to some Beer Bar across the street from MCAS Miramar. If they’re hovering over the airstrip you know it right away. They are big and intimidating.

  185. Groundhog Day is on AMC.

    NO SPOILERS PLEASE!

  186. [i]Groundhog Day is on AMC.
    NO SPOILERS PLEASE![/i]

    Bill Murray is Luke’s father.

  187. Dammit!

  188. Bill Murray gets sent to NYC which has been converted into a giant prison. He cuts the sleeves off his shirt and rides around in a cab with Mermaid Man.

  189. Ha! You guys suck!

  190. Groundhog Day is on AMC.
    NO SPOILERS PLEASE!

    After escaping from prison, Bill Murray and Andi McDowel murder the reporter and flee to Mexico. The final scene is of them driving down a highway, with two kids in the back of their van and Andi pregnant.

  191. The final scene is of them driving down a highway, with two kids in the back of their van and Andi pregnant.

    Sonuvabi…

  192. I hope that takes off, Chrispy.

  193. Bill Murray said Rosebud and the spell was broken

  194. Chumpo is an excellent bus driver.

  195. The dog dies. It’s sooooo sad. I just want you to be prepared.

  196. *books a flight to kill Dave repeatedly*

  197. Caaaarrrriiiinnnn, nooooooooooo!

  198. Bill Murray was dead the whole time.

  199. Man, I love Bill Murry; he makes me giggle like Rosetta.

  200. You can’t land here weather cancellations abound.

    We got shit happening.

    Sorry.

    ALSO I meant to tell you at the end Cyn and Car in drive off a cliff holding hands.

    I hope that’s not a spoiler

  201. *emails Xbrad with all the meat up information with the wrong hotel*

  202. Thanks for the meat up info, Cyn! I’ve already booked!

    http://tinyurl.com/lzx7dba

  203. ALSO I meant to tell you at the end Cyn and Car in drive off a cliff holding hands.

  204. Bill Murray wakes up, everything is in black and white, and he realizes it was all just a bad dream.

  205. Thats funnah B.

    Later Turkeys. I’m teaching a Photoshop class.
    BBL.

  206. for Cyn only

  207. Nice place, X!

  208. Dave… you’re a dead man.

  209. Half a million people “voted” on whether the Redskins should change their name…..82% said no.

    Sorry, progressives.

  210. I’m making a date mix tape

  211. Not. Clicking. Anymoar.

  212. The Redskins will be changing their name.

    It’s only a matter of time.

  213. I booked my flight to Florida today. Only burning 2 vacation days. Looking forward to seeing the gang again in AZ

  214. How’s it going Vmax? Is Houston treating you well?

  215. It is Scott.
    You and Laura should consider moving here. It is a boom town and there is money to be made. No Zoning means you can carve out your niche where you wish.

  216. nite kids

  217. Scott, you should move to Arizona.
    No need for a smoker. Leave the meat out in the sun, and it will start smoking.

  218. Houston is too humid.

  219. and too big.

  220. It is Scott,
    But it is just as humid as New England, but the heat is longer. I mean 95 with 80% humidity is universally hot.

  221. Amazons announcement today about prime music was awesome. I listened to all the Van Halen albums have not bought. They were pretty good.

  222. You are right about Houston being big. I lie on the west side and the north side is between 1/2 and 1 hour from me.

  223. Try Kerrville or Fredericksburg, Scott.

  224. Kerrville looks like a nice town. I kind of want to visit just because I use a topographic map of the city for some example analytical products in my classes.

  225. Kerrville killed it.

  226. I hug scott sooo hard

  227. wow this dead?

  228. WTFU!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

  229. MICHAEL///HOUSTON better than Dallas….everyone says so

  230. fuck

  231. //pulls sheet over the face of poor dead poat.//

  232. *plays Taps*

  233. Midnight rockers
    City slickers
    Gunmen and maniacs
    All will feature on the freakshow
    And I can’t do nothing ’bout that, no no
    But if you derp what’s mine
    I’ll sure as hell retaliate

  234. Hi Sohos Bye

  235. Sohos!

  236. Hello Sohos.

    Hello boobs.


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