MMM 123: Everything but the kitchen sink edition.

So my lovely bride is in Maine for the next 11 or 12 days, my kitchen sink is busted, and I have to deal with Benny the hyper-agressive lap dog, the diabetic old cat that’s an actual friend of mine, and the schizophrenic kitten who runs away from gentle petting most of the time. Oh, and the chickens and the giant gerbils. And I can’t cook a meal for myself unless I can wash whatever I use in a bathroom sink.

Good times. The puppy is actually the worst of it. He has more energy than I have patience.

So, anyhow, I’m pretty motivated to get my sink back, because I really want to cook food again, or at least be able to wash a cutting board.

Now, pictures you people* will make fun of because you think women with body fat percentages lower than 30 are men.

Twins.
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Scorpion pose.
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Pretty smile.
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Sweet bike. Looks heavy, though.
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Nice house.
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She’s probably too tall.
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Woman with a beer and no beer belly. Maybe it’s for someone else.
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I hope she’s still going down or on her way up, otherwise this is a shallow squat.
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No idea what this is called. Scorpion attack pose?
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So many bright colors, it’s like a handful of skittles.
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Happy Monday.

375 Comments

  1. Nice job Leon.

  2. Thanks. Haven’t done the poat in the morning in quite a while.

    Now I’m going to try to fill the coffee pot in the bathroom. Wish me luck.

  3. Coffee brewing. I will survive.

  4. Morning, children.

  5. Happy Anniversary, Oso.

  6. Almost time to feed the horses and check on the birds.

  7. wakey

  8. Wrapping up my first ever visit to Florida. The slum dwellers are not revolting. The slumlord is happy.
    Sitting at JAX, waiting for a flight to Tampa. Tiny prop plane.
    Will be home by 2.

    I did not know Starbucks coffee sucks so bad.

  9. Tushar, if you’re ever in my area, we have Biggby. It’s quite good.

    It was better when it was Beaners, but apparently that was rayciss.

  10. First impressions about Florida:
    It is freakin green and beautiful. Big wide roads, affordable nice houses. The guys who work on the properties (plumbers, handymen) are all reasonable, quick, skilled gun lovers.
    Bitches are hawt, beaches are cool.
    Many black folks are trim, properly dressed polite hard workers. In Northeast, they would easily qualify for Senate candidates.
    The one Albanian handyman I met made it clear that he is not exactly fond of black people, but I don’t think he is anymore rayciss than northern liberals. Just doesn’t know how to hide it.

    Downside: freaking gators and snakes.

    All in all, I want to move there.

  11. Downside: freaking gators and snakes.

    Michigan in the Summer is a lot like Florida because of all the water and flatness. It’s also cold enough that we have very few large reptiles, and almost no poisonous snakes.

    Our Winters can be hell, though.

  12. Why can’t north east women wear dresses like in the south?
    Why does it have to be jeans or skirts all the time?

  13. Nice selection today Leon, something for everyone.

  14. StarDog slept well ina crate last night with no whining or fussing. Peed and pooped in the yard and took an interest in her food. Progress is being made.

  15. Why can’t north east women wear dresses like in the south?
    Why does it have to be jeans or skirts all the time?

    Femininity died here long ago. I only see dresses in church.

  16. Speaking of progress, I made it through “Pillars of the Earth”. It was excellent and I want to thank that goatfucker Hotspur and his minion J’Ames for recommending it. Did any of you guys read the follow up book “World Without End”?

  17. What part of Floriduh are you in?

  18. Good morning, peeps.

  19. TJ,
    Jacksonville, the only business part os the state. Rest of Florida is for pleasure.

  20. Wheels up

  21. Why can’t north east women wear dresses like in the south?
    Why does it have to be jeans or skirts all the time?

    Because it’s still freakin cold up here.

    Besides, dresses are impractical. You put a dress on to shop or be entertained in some manner. Once I dress is on (outside of a business environment, where I see dresses and skirts a lot), nothing is getting done. I’m there to look pretty.

  22. I read World Without End, Jimbro. Liked it just as much as Pillars.

    The TV series (for both Pillars and World Without End) wasn’t bad, either.

  23. Isn’t Tushar supposed to turn off all his electronics on the plane?

  24. Safe travels Tushar.

  25. Isn’t Tushar supposed to turn off all his electronics on the plane?

    I stopped bothering years ago.

  26. Once I dress is on (outside of a business environment, where I see dresses and skirts a lot), nothing is getting done. I’m there to look pretty.

  27. They’ll let you keep your phone, ipad, tablet on in plane mode for the duration of the flight, you have to power down and stow your laptops until cruising altitude.

  28. Last time I flew I had the electronics police all over me, in the form of a flight attendant. Couldn’t even turn on an mp3 player with a book on it.

  29. Silly, although serious question: What does plane mode actually do? My understanding is that it prevents your phone from searching for towers/reception at 30,000 feet and saves the battery. Anything else?

  30. Jacksonville and the Panhandle are still pretty Southern in culture
    The rest of the state is northern detritus

  31. It’s a recent change, Jay, like this year I think.

    Airplane mode disables the cellular com is my understanding, Jimbro. I leave the wireless turned on on my tablet but I’m not sure if that is allowed or not, on some planes Southwest has free TV shows and a flight tracker on wireless that is kind of cool, but I’ve never purchased inflight internet. Yet.

  32. Why can’t north east women wear dresses like in the south?
    Why does it have to be jeans or skirts all the time?

    Southern girls are harlots. They need a piece of clothing that all comes off in one rip.

  33. *heads to I-95 South*

  34. lauraw
    You just explained why I stayed down here

  35. I knew a girl in college who wore sundresses often when it was warm enough. She was a vegetarian, though. Married a friend of mine who became an optometrist.

  36. Gah, anybody else spend the last hour removing a dead packrat from the stove vent hood and then sterilizing the area? If so, that’s a hell of a coincidence.

  37. Mmmm, sundresses.

  38. I thought packrats kept stuff in the basement and the garage.

  39. We don’t have packrats here, so that would be unlikely for me.

  40. >> Nice selection today Leon, something for everyone.

    Especially if you like trannies

  41. I hope you bite into a lemon expecting an orange, Dave.

  42. Ha ha ha, that’s a good one Leon. Did you just make that up or is it an old gem that’s just new to me?

  43. it’s new to me

  44. Just made it up. Feel free to spread it.

  45. Paula accuses me of being a packrat. Other than my home office which looks like a set for the show Hoarders, I disagree with her.

    *returns to folding clothes owned since high school*

  46. http://www.theverge.com/2014/5/15/5720446/science-explains-why-octopus-arms-dont-stick-together

    On the one hand, I’m glad we know.

    On the other, I’m glad it was Israel that spent money on this rather than me.

  47. “I hope she is still going down…” Things I say to myself everyday

  48. Oh great. I hate reptiles, and Tampa airport has an Iguana the size of a horse sitting atop a grass hut.

  49. If you hate reptiles, Florida may not be for you.

  50. Octopussy was a pretty good Bond girl name

  51. Alotta Fagina was a good Austin Powers name

  52. Dave?

  53. I hope you bite into a ______ when you were expecting a ______ .

    Zit, nipple.

  54. Leon, reptiles and bugs are pretty much the only con so far, and small compared to the huge pile of pros.

  55. I hope you bite into a ______ when you were expecting a ______ .

    Dong, sausage

  56. I remember studying Octopi for Zoology lab
    Very cool animals. Closest things to aliens we have
    They’re very smart too.

  57. taco, taco

  58. Girls in dresses are nice. Especially a sundress and a big, wide-brimmed hat. Mmmmm.

  59. I hope you bite into a ______ when you were expecting a ______ .

    My rendering of this was the nicest I think we’re likely to see.

  60. Chocolate eclair, taquito.

  61. The sink install people I contacted haven’t called me yet. If I haven’t heard from them by 4pm I’m going to Lowe’s.

  62. Marine plywood and a jigsaw is cheap. Just sayin.

  63. I broke the old stainless steel undermount in the process of trying to re-apply the silicone. I need a new one no matter what, but I am willing to get an estimate for re-shaping the granite to permit a drop-in sink, which is really my preference. I hate undermounts.

  64. I wish I still lived in AA, I could get Hotspur to refer me a guy who doesn’t suck.

  65. My sink is a top mounted one yet, solely based on your experience, I have now come to hate undermounts.

  66. Don’t buy a raft of fucking GLASS items on an internet auction on the other side of the world, and then get all pissed off when you find out that people have to be paid to get all of this stuff made out of GLASS HELLO GLASS BREAKABLE to you in the original number of pieces.

    Jesus Tittyfucking Christ.

  67. Even if it hadn’t failed, I would much rather count on metal as being water-impervious than on the silicone that fills the gap. Plus the granite exposed to dishwashing gains a film of food and soap that can be tough to clean.

  68. >> Don’t buy a raft of fucking GLASS items on an internet auction on the other side of the world, and then get all pissed off when you find out that people have to be paid to get all of this stuff made out of GLASS HELLO GLASS BREAKABLE to you in the original number of pieces.

    Noted.

  69. I hope you bite into a ______ when you were expecting a ______.

    sausage, taco

  70. What about eggs? Can you ship those?

  71. What a weekend. What happened?

  72. The internet was free this weekend!

  73. I hope you bite into a ______ when you were expecting a ______.

    hand, muppet.

  74. Comment by Pupster on May 19, 2014 11:51 am


    The girl is cute. The boyfriend is a dick for putting that up online.

  75. looks like she was ok with it. She’s laughing at the end.

  76. I bet she didn’t dump him over it.

    Girls like dicks.

  77. Girls like dicks.

    Imma gonna go home and pick a fight.

  78. Picking a fight is probably the wrong way to go about it.

    Probably.

  79. For roamy!

  80. There is a thing called The Race Card Project at NPR. It’s as bad as ypu can imagine. An entire series devoted to white guilt. It seems no one else is racist except teh whiteys.

  81. well, duh!

  82. Michelle Obama hates white people.

  83. They are white, so that’s ok, leon.

  84. I hate white people, too. I hate most people regardless of color.

  85. Holy Orwellian Newspeak, Batman.

    Governor Malloy was sued by some groups over his decision to force all the daycare and home care workers into a union and to pay dues.

    “Malloy gave low-paid daycare workers the right to unionize.” On the radio just now, repeated several times in slightly different ways, all making Malloy seem like a hero for extracting union dues out of people who are taking care of sick family members.

    Disgusting.

  86. I will forever hold a grudge against Newt Gingrich. He promised that if the republicans gained control of the House in 1994 they would stop funding PBS and NPR.

  87. Laura, we had that shit in Michigan, until the court decided it was crap.

  88. That’s a fair grudge to hold.

    Laura, they did that here, too. We just had a court decision rendered that meant all of the “what? I’m in a union?” folks stop paying if they chose.

  89. Hotspur, do you know anyone who wants a moderately-small kitchen remodeling job in SE Belleville?

  90. Sink, faucet, disposal install, with a small amount of granite contouring. I’ll pay extra for promptness.

  91. *calls Wayne County Building Inspector*

  92. We could take care of it, but we’re pretty booked right now.

  93. Another reason to hate undermounts:

    In a standard cabinet, there may be no room beneath for a disposal.

  94. Yeah, I figured this season is about the worst time to look for construction.

  95. Still no callback from the first contractor I contacted.

  96. Craigslist. You can pay in meth and horse dung.

  97. I don’t have any meth. Right now.

  98. I mean, if i had some, I’d have done this shit myself already at about 2am.

  99. Wow, you didn’t plan that out very well, leon.

  100. No, I did not hang on to my meth stash as a hedge against my sink failing. Complete incompetence on my part, that.

  101. You gotta make sure you have meth before you talk to Hotspur about getting work done.

    It’s just common sense.

  102. I’ve still got a crapload (heh) of horse dung. That’s got to count for something.

  103. I have never owned a garbage disposal. All food scraps get composted in the garden or in a dog.

  104. We had one in AA, and Mrs. Caruthers misses it. If I can wedge one into the situation as a result of this debacle, she will be quite happy.

  105. Garbage disposal is nice, but not really, really needed. What I really miss is my Insty-hot hot water dispenser.

  106. Yeah, we’ve lived without it for several years now. Not the end of the world if it’s not possible, but I may as well try.

  107. No garbage disposal? How do you make margaritas?

  108. Unless there is something bizarre about your sink cabinet, a disposal on an undercount sink should be no problem.

  109. Catch 22 need the sink to make meth, need meth to get the sink……….

  110. I never tried, but it didn’t look like I could get one under the sink and still give it a downward slope to the sewer line.

  111. Put mare under your sink.

  112. Leon, while you’re waiting, go order that book – did you know that back in 1987 the Framingham Heart Study determined that women don’t generally have to worry about heart issues if their cholesterol number is below 300?

    Seriously, dude – it expands on the Gary Taubes book!

    Too bad for Michelle Obama that the only way to raise HDL levels is to eat fat…..

  113. did you know that back in 1987 the Framingham Heart Study determined that women don’t generally have to worry about heart issues if their cholesterol number is below 300?

    Yes.

  114. Second contractor I contacted got back to me and declined. They do remodeling, and don’t do jobs this small.

  115. MJ, I had a really good after dinner type drink at a little restaurant in Nashville:

    Very sweet so you probably won’t like it, but I thought you might be interested in it for a DOTW. I’ve got the bartender’s email if you want to get details and give credit.

  116. http://pupster.files.wordpress.com/2014/05/white-chocolate-crisp.jpg

    Shut up and take my money!

  117. Tastes like a vanilla mudslide.

  118. Hoo boy, work sucked.

  119. Scott needs a white chocolate crisp.

  120. Very sweet so you probably won’t like it, but I thought you might be interested in it for a DOTW. I’ve got the bartender’s email if you want to get details and give credit.
    —————————–
    Looks pretty sweet.

  121. XBrad Family Home Theater

    XMom: I need you to call the home warranty place and see where the renewal notice for our policy is.

    XBrad: Sure.

    2 minutes later-

    **sound of cell phone on speaker phone**

    XMom: Who is that? What are they saying?

    XBrad: HOW THE HELL DO I KNOW?! I CAN’T HEAR THEM OVER YOU YELLING ASKING WHO IT IS AND WHAT THEY’RE SAYING!?

  122. Happy Mount St. Helen’s Day!

  123. Excellent choice, Scott. Oh, and I agree with the sentiment!

  124. howdy cons, johns and ‘rons.

  125. I am back in New Jersey, sadly.

  126. Who made you go back?

  127. It’s north Jersey. I feel for you, Tushar!

  128. I am back in New Jersey, sadly.

    seriously, Tushar, just what in the fuck is wrong with you?

    YOU WERE OUT!!! YOU WERE FREE!!!

    And you went back?? Voluntarily???

    *smh

    some people…..

  129. Leon, my wife and kids, my house, my job.
    I can move the family to Florida. The hell with the house and job. I will find another.

  130. For BCoch

  131. Wiser,

  132. Wiser,

    heh. I was trying to figure out a way to formulate a joke out of that, but what the hell…. you linking that clip works.

  133. I can move the family to Florida. The hell with the house and job. I will find another.

    Do it. There’s work down there. I should have moved to Tampa when I had the chance.

  134. 4pm and no response from the first contractor, who I emailed yesterday.

    Going to Lowe’s.

  135. This is the part of NJ I grew up in. . .

  136. Pupster swears to uphold the LAW!!!

  137. You’ll be able to shoot people that frighten you.

  138. MCPO, the Jersey of your childhood is gone. The few farms that remain have gone into the organic scam, and are swarming with swooning hipsters.

  139. Pupster?

  140. Speaking of hipsters, they have gotten into growing full beards. A full beard looks good on a farmer or a lumberjack. On a scrawny 110 pound hipster, it looks pathetic.

  141. Tushar
    Move to Texas
    We have slightly fewer alligators and not quite as many stupid voters

  142. TJ, you have rattlesnakes.

  143. Move to a DRY (arid) part of Texas, though – not as many big “palmetto bugs” (aka, roaches) in the dryer parts of the state.

  144. So does Florida.

  145. My rented house in St. Louis had cockroaches. Disgustipating.

  146. Hmm. Promotion was a bonus cut of 50%.

    Are these people fucking nuts?

  147. If someone pulled this prank on me, there will be murder.

    http://imgur.com/gallery/2scFpSd

  148. Crossfit addicts are nuts.

  149. Tushar
    Florida has rattlesnakes, water moccasins, copperheads and deadly coral snakes
    Plus those fucking Manatees

  150. MJ, respond with this.

    http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=pfN3r6LHLD0

  151. Great – Rebecca loved TYD#1; can those politically correct pedophiles in Hollywood leave NOTHING untouched for children?

    http://www.breitbart.com/Big-Hollywood/2014/05/18/dragon-character-gay

  152. I thought the gays in Hollywood wanted to touch children?

  153. Thanks, Pepe. TFG and Joey Choo Choo have a sexual assault PSA that runs before the trailers at Cinemark theaters. There are other lame, male celebrities too. Your tax $$$ at work.

  154. Heh, that’s rich, MJ. Good luck!

  155. The chocolate ration has increased from 30 grams to 15 grams.

  156. Great – Rebecca loved TYD#1; can those politically correct pedophiles in Hollywood leave NOTHING untouched for children?

    The left is obsessed with sexualizing everything. The goal is to convince society that it’s perfectly normal and healthy for young children to have sex and that we shouldn’t get so hung up over it if they play around with each other.

    Did we say “each other”? We mean “forty-year old adults”.

  157. Good news: my order finally arrived.

    Bad news: They forgot half of it. I’ve now had to send my third email to this guy asking what the fuck is up.

  158. pretty good – sad Batman

    http://weknowmemes.com/2014/05/best-of-the-sad-batman-meme-14-pics/

  159. I didn’t do all the things today.

    Just, low energy. My weekend job really takes it out of me.

    I’m going to get plenty of sleep tonight and chug a big can of Awesome for breakfast tomorrow. Tomorrow I will do all the things.

  160. MJ is not a team player.

  161. Hopefully, once this deal for you and Scott is finalized, you won’t have to have the Obamajob any longer.

    BTW, congrats to both of you on that! Fantastic news –

  162. Alvin Greene would have jumped at the opportunity.

  163. Afternoon.

  164. Well, Penlope made it back from her cruise. Lots of pics. She had a good time, visited a lot of places.

  165. Greetings, people who are still waiting for their check from the Koch brothers.

  166. I see everyone is still dumbstruck by the fact that most of leon’s models for today appear to have been born women. Perfectly understandable.

  167. Greetings, people who are still waiting for their check from the Koch brothers.

    Oho, yet another great idea that nobody bothered to tell me about. I see how it is around here.

  168. *Sends check to Cayman account*

    What check?

  169. It’s just a possibility, and down the road a piece, Theresa, but thanks. We shall see.

  170. jewstin, how was your meeting with HR?
    http://tinyurl.com/oemkdbq

  171. Greetings, people who are still waiting for their check from the Koch brothers.

    Speaking of Koch brothers, Mr. TiFW’s brother and SIL found out that they are going to be grandparents! Very excited for them and our nephew and his wife.

  172. Promotion was a bonus cut of 50%.

    Did you immediately invite them to consume a sack of sausages?

  173. So, Lowe’s doesn’t install under-mounted sinks. But the guy in the plumbing department assured me that it’s super-easy.

    “I’m sure it is, but it failed once already, and was theoretically installed by a guy who know what he was doing.”

    He gave me a referral list of local handyman-types.

    Also fuck granite counter-tops forever.

  174. >>Also fuck granite counter-tops forever.

    be careful. Granite is hard. Your wingwang not so much.

  175. I meant fuck in the negative sense, as in I wish whoever thought up this abortion of a material for home cabinet surfaces might suffer from uncomfortable relations of an involuntary sort.

  176. That’s what you get for going to Lowes.

  177. Would the answer have been different at Home Despot?

  178. Also fuck granite counter-tops forever.

    Not even Sting can fuck anything forever.

  179. I liked kitchens better when they were kitschens.

    http://tinyurl.com/qc6yfv7

  180. I got a farm-out for a large oil lease in Winkler County, Texas (home of PG) and Lea County, NM back in December, 1985 from Charles Koch
    I drove up to Wichita and had lunch with him. The leases were originally owned by his father Fred, back in the 40’s.
    Very nice man, as I recall.
    Wells are still producing, btw..

  181. I am so very jealous of that drop-in sink. I’d also like whoever thought of under-mounting a kitchen sink — wherein one might wish to soak a stock pot full of water overnight — to be uncomfortably violated in an unseemly fashion. Seriously, that guy needs ritualistic abuse.

  182. Home Depot installs everything. However, I don’t think your problem can be fixed without flipping over the countertop.

    You can’t drop in an overmount?

  183. They don’t come in the right shape for the hole in the granite. At this point, I’d be happy to just have someone else install the new under-mount and not fuck it up.

  184. Plus the lip on the under-mount sink is built to be glued, rather than be seen

  185. >>You can’t drop in an overmount?

    i suppose, if he can live with a smaller sink.

  186. Leon, was your sink mounted using this method?

  187. Leon, just get a big galvanized tub and run a garden hose in through the kitchen window.

  188. To use mounting hardware you need to drill out holes. To drill holes in marble you need water to cool the bit.

    Hard to do after the counter is installed.

    I’m sure there is a way, but it’s beyond my pay grade.

  189. Start a kitchen midden. You’ll be creating a treasure trove for future archaeologists and ensuring that your preferred brands are well-represented in the museums of tomorrow.

  190. Leon, I’m guessing you’ve already scoured youtube for how-to videos?

  191. I did a garbage disposal once (replaced a dead one), and new faucets and shit… I can do basic plumbing repair if it’s PVC (I won’t touch 30 year old metal shit it just breaks).

    Ain’t never done a sink.

    How bad you need this thing?

  192. Evening Hostages.

  193. Dave is wise.

  194. I have never had a good experience with old metal plumbing.

  195. Is this turning into a caulking blog?

  196. So…..Leon posts a bunch of pics of pre and post ops and you people spend the day talking about pipes.

    *shakes head*

    I wonder about y’all sometimes.

  197. BCoch, I just came back from a very brief and sudden visit to Jax. Nice city ya got there!

  198. Oh man. Excellent timing Tush. The weather has been insanely nice.

    Next time you come down, let me know and I’ll buy you lunch.

  199. Yes, plenty of data on how to install one. None on how to cut granite in place so you can never do it again.

    And mine didn’t have a harness. If this ends in me swapping out sinks (likely), I’ll add one.

  200. I’m confident I could install it at this point, but I don’t have a spare set of hands until June when Mrs. Caruthers is back from Maine.

  201. BCoch, Saturday was awesome! Sunday was slightly less so.
    Yesterday my friend dragged me to the downtown Hooters. First time for me. I felt quite guilty.

  202. Hahahaha. The one down at The Landing?

    Lunch is a good time to go. That area isn’t really safe after dark.

    Why guilty?

  203. I could just do this and salvage the one I’ve already glued back in place: http://youtu.be/5WD51-OzIkk

  204. Why guilty?

    Dine ‘n’ dash?

  205. Dude, those girls were so young. I am sure they were playing with Barbie dolls a couple years back. They were serving beer. I don’t think they could legally consume it themselves.

  206. I thought the issue was the seal of the sink to the edge of the underside of the granite counter?

  207. I liked the Landing area. Saw two girls buying drugs from two black dudes.

  208. Play it, Dave!

  209. I fixed the seal but I broke the sink basket, XBrad. I’m going to add the harness doohickey and replace the broken sink basket (and probably the one I didn’t break too, just so they look the same) and take the new sink I bought back to the store.

    I seriously thought the basket was something I couldn’t replace independent from the sink. Tushar’s video showed a sink that didn’t have them in it, and a light bulb went on.

  210. If you ain’t old enough to drink it you can’t serve it.

    *says Dave, a former 17 year old bartender*

  211. I assume that our Precedent will make his annual pilgrimage to Andrews AFB to play golf for Memorial Day.

  212. >>>If you ain’t old enough to drink it you can’t serve it.

    Riiiiiiiiight.

    Nothing beat right after high school when I was still 17, got into a club and had the 19 year old waitress/drink girl hitting on me and slipping me drinks.

    Tush, that sounds completely and totally accurate. My eldest had a dance recital down at The Landing a couple Fridays ago. It didn’t start till 6:30pm. I made sure I was carrying.

  213. >>Tushar’s video showed a sink that didn’t have them in it, and a light bulb went on.

    I was of some use! What I write here is not entirely blather.

  214. I had found the same video a few days ago, but that part wasn’t broken when I saw it, so seeing it again was very useful.

  215. Saw two girls buying drugs from two black dudes.

    Noticing that they were black is rayciss.

  216. >>Noticing that they were black is rayciss.

    So is you calling them black.

    ……………..

    DAMMIT. Now I did it. We’re all raycists now.

  217. >>Noticing that they were black is rayciss.

    if you had noticed that, it would be rayciss. I have brown immunity.

  218. #CheckYourBrownPrivilege

  219. I have brown immunity.

    You gave that up the first time you ever voted for anyone with an R after their name. C’mon–this is basic stuff.

  220. Coworker lady a few years younger than me, who thinks she is old: “Laura, how old do you think this guy is?” (jabbing her thumb into the chest of some young lackey)

    Me: “Um. Twelve?” (tries to smile kindly at the young little boy who is somehow seven feet tall)

    Coworker lady: “He’s Twenty-something! Can you believe it?”

    Me: “They all look like little boys to me now.”

    Young Lackey: (gives a disgusted look, wanders away, bats a plane out of the air)

  221. Sean. I am not a US citizen yet. Never voted.

  222. Lauraw, working with young people, keeps me young. Exasperates me too. Retail speak: I was trying to teach a 19 yr old how to zone/recover. I kept having to walk him through and correct. How hard is it to prep a store for the next days business? Totes not rocket surgery.

  223. Tush, does NJ have Motor Voter?

  224. >> They all look like little boys to me now.

    *nods understandingly*

  225. Sean. I am not a US citizen yet. Never voted.

    Hell, Tushar, there are dead people and cartoon characters who don’t let that stop them. But your stated preferences around here for things conservative is enough to get your immunity pulled.

  226. I bet some D-rat is voting as Tush in NJ…right now!!!!

  227. Hey Dave, did you get your pool all ready?

  228. Tushar, exactly how attached are you to your surname, native language, country of origin, and cultural associations?

    Because if you change your name to Pablo Diaz, a lot of your immigration headaches are OVER.

  229. I early voted today. For Susana and contested races. I don’t have time to vote for any one else. 3 GOPers running for Sheriff. Only 1 has said that he wants to bring Cops back to the Q. Yep. I voted for him. I H8 the County Commissioners more than the City Council.

  230. Oso, according to Wikipedia, Motor Voter law is a federal law and implementation is mandatory after 1995. So, yes.

  231. I helped a woman the other day whose name was Rosa Blanca. I was like…oh hell no. Dumbest name EVER!!!

  232. >>Tushar, exactly how attached are you to your surname, native language, country of origin, and cultural associations?

    very.

  233. Tush, in that case, check your voter history. You may already be voting for D-rats.

  234. Scary brown person, it’s hard for me to admit but my gut was once that big.

    *looks down*

    Time to stock up on beef jerky and peanuts.

  235. Just checked. I am not registered to vote.

  236. OMG! NM is worse than NJ when it comes to voter fraud? I bet you’ve never been called for a jury either?

  237. I vote in 3 states and I only live in one? I must be a Democrat!!!

  238. very.

    Me too, man. Me too. I am happy to inform you that the centuries-long benign ‘melting pot’ example that is represented by the experiences of many Americans of foreign birth, still exists. But it is now underground. We have to pretend we don’t really like each other.

    And I can’t cook with coconut, or else be accused of ‘cultural appropriation’ by some idiot college student who needs to be beaten with a hairbrush.

  239. Did anybody ignore anybody else’s warning that their plate was very hot today?

  240. My mom tried to beat me with hairbrushes but more often than not just decided to throw them at me.

    I ain’t sayin she wasn’t provoked.

  241. People; is there anything sweeter in life than beating a spoiled teenager with a hairbrush?

    I don’t think lobster or the sweetest baby lamb could be so divine on the palate.

  242. I preferred melting pot to tossed salad analogy. IYKWIMAITTYD?

  243. Beating a 26 year old spoiled hipster with a rubber hose.

  244. La Chancla. Google it.

  245. Yeah, OK Bcoch, but how often does that really happen? 26-year olds have civil rights, and that is a real enthusiasm dampener right off the bat.

  246. #CheckYourPrivelege I took a spatula across the face on Mother’s Day.

  247. My brother and I gave our Mom a handmade green card. I was closest.

  248. Didn’t you hear, Laura? Laws can be disregarded now.

  249. People; is there anything sweeter in life than beating a spoiled teenager with a hairbrush?

    Are you a cop? Because you have to tell us if you are.

  250. I WASN’T SPOILED

  251. YOU WERE TO THEM.

  252. I WAS DUCKING HAIRBRUSHES in fairness I did piss mom off

  253. Laws can be disregarded now.

    Not actually a new thing. Just the blatant openness of it.

  254. Laws? We don’t need no stinkin’ laws.

  255. Sean M, I wonder if Car in warns her patrons of the hot plate? Is that a Gringo thing? Are people of color assumed to be smart enough to understand the concept of a hot plate, and only Gringos get warned?

  256. If it’s sizzling, I know it’s hot. If the server uses a towel to hand it to me, I know it’s hot. Otherwise, a warning would be helpful.

  257. I just spent over an hour looking at DIY concrete sink plans, because of Leon’s problem. I now desperately want something I do not need.

    Seriously though, these things are so totally bitchin.

  258. They make sinks out of concrete now? Didn’t they do that in the Flintstones?

  259. I’m sure C arin only warns here white patrons of the hot plate. Not because brown people are smarter, but because she enjoys seeing them suffer.

  260. Yes, David. They did. They made useful things out of concrete, and that is a backwards practice.

    *pulls down projection screen*

    Sit down. Look at these filmstrips about these other funny things!

  261. Concrete sinks are kewl.

  262. Dave, Rocketboy knows if he makes me laugh, even when he’s misbehaving, he gets out of most punishment. He had a list of chores to do. I called at lunchtime to 1. see if he was awake, B.) make sure he did something other than play computer games and watch Futurama.

    Me: Whatcha doing? Did you eat breakfast?

    Rocketboy: No, I’ve been sitting on my lazy butt all morning.

    Well, at least he’s honest, and he did get most of it done this afternoon.

  263. http://www.concreteships.org/

  264. MCPO and Herself had concrete countertops put in recently, but I don’t know if that included a concrete sink.

  265. Ahhhh…..gotta love the casual, likely unintended, but still oh so lovely insult from the MiL.

    *sigh*

  266. those are the best kind, Bcoch, because they convey the true sentiments.

    Spill?

  267. How long of a visit, Bcoch?

  268. We’re watching Criminal Minds. The wife was laughing about how the show kind of freaked her out. Gotta have the door locked, house alarm on, random sounds in the house freaked her out.

    MiL pats FiL on the leg, “Don’t worry, your protector is here.”

    Why, thank you for that.

  269. Ok Laura called me David which is a trigger cause mom called me that when she made me watch 8mm films and Kodak slides of sinks.

    And Roamy is telling me her kid grins his way out of trouble with mom by being charming and funny to her.

    Anybody think I didn’t do that too, and the hairbrush stories are pretty much bullshit at this point isn’t paying attention.

  270. Who knows oso. I have not been given a departure date.

    They got here Wednesday. They prob won’t leave till the end of the month.

    :-)

  271. I’m remodeling everything outside now

  272. Bcoch, do you have a safe room and an evac plan?

  273. No, oso. And I’m getting absolutely crushed at work right now. Which is just awesome.

  274. Crushed at work AND inlaws visiting? Have you dropped the mic yet?

  275. I’m too tired. The mic just slipped from my hand.

    Dad had a hip replacement last Monday. Which means he might be back part time in about 3 weeks. Full time in 5 more weeks.

    So I’m doing twice as much work. And we suddenly got really really busy.

  276. I’ve really missed out on the whole antagonistic relationship with inlaws thing by remaining a bachelor.

    Yeah.

  277. “Fish and guests begin to smell after three days.” – B. Franklin

  278. In TFGs economy, being busy is good. We’re here for you. Come for the trannies, stay for the pipe talk. We washed wieners today, but you don’t see me making weak puns about cleaner wieners.

  279. Bcoch, was that meant as a kindly word to the old man?

  280. Pretty sure if it feels like a punch in the gut, it was meant as a punch in the gut. *Puts on Oprah hat* *Checks privilege* *Alerts trigger*

  281. I like my in laws, by and large. Everyone gets on my nerves to some degree, they’re not high up on the list.

    Perhaps it was Laura, but for me, it was pretty insulting.

    I think part of the problem is that they don’t get the whole Southern thing at all. I promise you she has no idea she just insulted the fuck out of me. Hell, they didn’t understand why I came to them first before asking my wife to marry me.

  282. >> Dad had a hip replacement last Monday

    Wishing him well. Tell him to do the rehab shit. He’ll hate it but he’ll have a better outcome. Best to him.

    OH.. and tell him to take the damn pills before the therapist comes over

  283. You’ll mellow.

  284. Where are your inlaws from?

  285. He’s working hard in rehab.

    He’s scared to death of getting hooked on the pills. So he only takes them when he can’t stand it anymore.

    Which appears to be about 45 minutes after therapy is over.

  286. FiL was in NJ when he was a kid, but then moved to MD. MiL was born and raised MD.

  287. So, us southern girls are supposed to ignore the slight that lauraw gave us this morning about EZ clothing?

  288. Dammit! They had to take little DG back to the hospital for her asthma again.

  289. Yankees. Got it. (Glad your Dad is all in on the PT)

  290. Dammit! Sorry, MCPO. Prayers for our DG.

  291. Yeah, 45 minutes after therapy is the wrong time. 1.5 hours before therapy, better therapy.

    I get you on the MIL thing. Now that I have two COUNT them two boys in my daughters’ lives I’m working on getting Mrs. Dave to relax a bit. We have good days, we have not good days. Moms are silly.

  292. Yeah, he wants to get better. He’s tired of hurting. The hip has been really hurting for a long time. The doc told him just over a year ago that he was a candidate for surgery.

  293. Sorry to hear MCPO. Could be allergy-related that’s common. She is the cutest little bug ever and all the nurses will take extra good care of her.

  294. Your son is your son, until he takes a wife. But your daughter is your daughter, all the days of her life.

  295. I have to be careful relaying “everything” my son tells me to Herself. A lot of times he is just venting about his home life. If he said those things to her, she would drive up there and get all Company Commander on the lovely Julia.

  296. Thoughts and prayers, chief.

  297. Prayers up for DG,

  298. Alright, folks, I’m out. See y’all tomorrow.

  299. My boss has two daughters in law. I have two daughters. He told me “you can’t treat a DIL like your own daughter”.

    Truth

  300. G’night, bcoch.

  301. HospitalMay014

  302. Heh, don’t vent to the parents. Too much slips out.

    That’s what the Hostages are for.

  303. After 3 boys, my mom was more than happy to get 3 DILs.

  304. Bcoch,
    Anita has had two “total hip”.
    I can’t emphasize enough how important the PT/Rehab is.
    If it is slacked-off or neglected, he will pay for it for the rest of his life!
    DO NOT let him fuck this up.
    It is painful and hard, but it is necessary.
    I am not shitting you on this.
    The rest of his life…

  305. DebHospitalMay014

  306. Mcpo,
    I want to hug her and kiss her and call her George.
    I love that little baby girl…

  307. i adore that little girl. Prayers.

  308. MiL didn’t follow through with her hip PT. FiL has been a trooper. It is the dementia that is rocking us now.

  309. Awwww, MCPO. Prayers up.

  310. Anybody think I didn’t do that too, and the hairbrush stories are pretty much bullshit at this point isn’t paying attention.

    Don’t get me wrong, Dave, if Rocketboy screws up getting his Eagle, he’s going to wish for the hairbrush.

    Two merit badges, recommendation letters, and a board of review to go.

  311. XbradTC, at his blog, had a memorial for the Boeing “Dash-80” today.
    It became the KC-135, and then the 707.
    It holds a special place for me.

    “Ah yes, the 707.
    Once upon a time, I think it was in ’68, while I was courting Anita, I picked her up on a Saturday morning.
    She had no idea what was ahead, but she came with me.
    I took her to PDX and we got two round-trip tickets to SEA, on a 707.
    It cost me $27!
    She had never flown before.
    The ticket agent was like; “No Luggage?
    Well, then (wink wink, nudge nudge.) say no more!
    We flew to SEA, took a shuttle into downtown, had lunch at “The Needle”, wandered around downtown and shuttled back to SEA.
    We flew back to PDX and we are still married after 45 years!
    I blame Boeing!”

  312. Roamy, we were talking about you and Rocketboy, today.

  313. ChrisP, love you and AnitaP too much. I remember when air travel was a luxury. Almost there again.

  314. ChrisPy – You sly devil, you!

  315. Gonna say a prayer for Bcoch and his family, too. At least I knew the end date when my in-laws visited. Hope BcochDad heals quickly.

  316. Osita, do tell.

  317. We did not, so much, get the hairbrush.
    More-like, whatever was close.
    The wooden spoon, paint-stick, a piece of an extension-cord, it did not matter.
    She hated all six of us for ruining her “Perfect princess” life, even though she willingly went into a catholic marriage.
    Her rage did not cease until she died.
    I’m still trying to forgive her…

  318. MCPO,
    Roger that!

  319. We were talking about your post about Catholic schools backing away from actual Catholic religious instruction, tied it in to the Charlotte dealio, made it local with last years St Pius Trannie issue.

  320. Looks like DG is making the best of it, Chief!

    BCoch, I don’t get what’s upsetting you with what your MIL said – sounds like something I would say to Mr. TiFW in jest in the same situation. We’re so used to it being just the two of us watching a show that when others are around we don’t even realize how it might sound to them.

    I seriously doubt she meant anything by it other than good-natured joshing between her and FIL.

  321. ChrisP, my Mom still doesn’t understand that what she did was wrong. What she knew. The fact that my brother and sister escaped her wrath, is still not a deal. My Grammo beat 11 kids equally. (12th kid died) My Mom focused on me. Forgiveness is hard. I love confession. Face to face has been beneficial.

  322. Tifw, I’m the trigger queen. If it feels like a punch in the nuts, it was meant as a punch in the nuts. I may have more toxic people in my life than the rest of you.

  323. G’night. . .

  324. GN MCPO Prayers

  325. >> Rocketboy screws up getting his Eagle, he’s going to wish for the hairbrush.

    Tick tock RB

    MCPO, she looks like she’s well cared for and ain’t suffering. Glad for that.

  326. I dunno, oso – I just decided many years ago that my life was too short to spend time second-guessing if there was a hidden meaning in what other people said when they were around me. Of course the upside of that is that if they WERE trying to diss me, it frustrated the heck out of them when they didn’t get a rise out of me!

  327. Oso,
    I’m not there yet. The hate and violence was so strong,
    I cant’ help but think that she wished us dead.
    When I left to go to basic-training, I escaped, and never went back…

  328. Kid went to the Chihuahuas game in Sunday with her Tio
    Had a blast but ate way too many jalapeños on her nachos
    Paying for it now.,

  329. Tifw, never let ’em see me sweat. I do know a punch in the gut, when a punch in the gut is intended. It was kind of cool when Dan kicked my Mom out of our condo though.

  330. TJ, we had fiery nachos last week, too. Dan put fresh jalapeños in the Guac today.

  331. Leah told me the foods pretty good at the new stadium
    Chihuahuas won
    Woof woof!

  332. Then again, I probably piss a bunch of people off without knowing it. It certainly is never my intent. I can be a regular bull in an etiquette shop.

  333. ChrisP, it is a process. My abuser/aka grandfather died in 2011. Sexual, not physical. Whatever. In our “Culture” we bury our own. When it came time to plant my grandfather, everyone for the most part had fled. I can list the handful of family that was there. I broke tradition and handled a shovel. Dan was right there with my brother, my cousins, J, David, and Richard. 2nd cousins, Paul and Clovis. 3rd cousin, Jordan. Bunch of fucking hypocrites.

  334. Tifw, I’ve been told that I’m too sarcastic for most people. I may come off as meaner than intended.

  335. oso you are perfectly sarcastic for me

  336. Ha! BTW we cheated and used a loader to bury my Grandfather. Token shoveling. Nobody knows, because they were too busy being superior. We spent more time at the liquor store, than at the gravesight.

  337. thanks, DiT.

  338. Site.

  339. I was training Drama Llama, and she complained that I was bullying her. WTF? I stepped back and just let Drama Llama, be herself. She has fucked up so many Memberships, it isn’t funny. OK, it is funny. There really is an art to turning angry people into happy people.

  340. Crap. XB is right. Site. If any of you people ever drive between Ruidoso and Roswell, our family plot from WWI is on the 70 across from the school.

  341. Pre-WWI is at the San Patricio Church. Not St Jude. The actual church from Billy the Kid era.

  342. Dan’s Crypt keeper was more tech savvy then my hipster douche guy. I like early voting. My inlaws have a heavily D-rat dying urban neighborhood. I live in a mostly upscale GOP community. We get the same number of machines as my inlaws. 3X the population. When Dan was a poll worker, SYWM, they would send him into the South Valley. Few GOPers. Fewer citizens.

  343. Internet connection here at work is being an Athol.

  344. You got into my derp
    I don’t know how you found me, but you did
    It stopped me heading someplace else

  345. wakey wakey

  346. Yesterday was a really $hitty day at work. Got stiffed TWICE. I mean, STIFFED. Zero. athols. I don’t care if the “forgot” or if they thought the other person was going to tip. I worked for free, and gave them excellent service.

    Fortunately, I have a memory like an elephant.

  347. In added joy, I took a six mile run on Sunday, and my car key worked it’s way out of my pocket. six miles.

    And for the coup de grace, my kid’s soccer team imploded and now they have no where to play next season.

    EVERYTHING IS AWESOME.

  348. Lazy hostages. What did I get up so early for?

    *Looks outside, and sees the rainy day ahead.

    FUUUUU

    I’m gonna choke a bitch if my luck doesn’t change

  349. I think right now is basically my only chance to go to Meijer today.

    I wonder if they have sink baskets and plumber’s putty.

  350. A construction barge ran aground on the bank of the river across my field. Must have slipped the mooring at the town dock last night. So far they’ve had no luck getting it off the bank.

  351. Carin, what do you do when a cheap-o, tip-stiffing rat turd of a customer returns? Pawn them off on another server?

  352. When you get a cheapo at the pizza place, they get theirs delivered last.

  353. Make sure oso sees that one, pupster. She’ll love it.

  354. Morning, children. Hope DG is feeling better.

    Do you spit in their food, Carin?

  355. IF I have to wait on them, I will give them the most awful service I can.

  356. Lowest priority. Clear plates? No one’s got time for that. Oh, you need a refill? Oops.

    I’ll get to it right after I check every other table I have. And refill a few drinks of tables i’m NOT waiting on.

  357. Meijer had sink baskets and plumber’s putty. Imma kick this thing’s ass after I’ve had some coffee and worked for an hour or so.

  358. This is a disgrace.

  359. Anyone want to do a new post?

  360. This is a disgrace.

    Car in being stiffed? I concur.

  361. Once again proving “horse” is a bad idea:

    http://tinyurl.com/pxhxj8t

  362. Video from a band called James. They were more active in the 90’s.

  363. Oh, you think you’re so pretty

  364. Be careful what you wish for.

    There’s a NEW POAT!


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