MMM 121: eleven squared on Cinco de Mayo

I woke up at 430 with Benny the Tiny Half-Wiener Dog, and I’m pretty exhausted, so I’m going to forgo the part of the poat where I try to pep you up for another week of whatevertheheck it is all you people* do when you’re not picking your noses and watching yootoob.

*should be obvious

Instead, we go straight to photos. I’m not even going to do captions this week. You get numbers in Spanish because it’s Cuatro de Cinco. DEAL WITH IT!


Dos con una photobomb de Pupster.
Now… go… do something. Try not to suck at it.


  1. My life is awesome, and I’m the luckiest man alive.

  2. Jack in de Mayo.

  3. I should have kept my holiday for today. I could be drinking Mexican beer right now.

  4. I have a Floating Holiday I could use, but I can’t use it.

  5. Pupster’s also in Seis, should have noted that.

    That’s why he keeps saying what he said.

  6. Quiet today. I guess I’ll just pack up and go to work.

  7. Morning, children. Cuatro looks fun.

  8. Ga. I’m not going to type in the level of suckage. Just let it be accepted that unless a miracle happens, I’m going to be in a Shitty mood for the next 9 days of so.

    I may very computer back this week though. Processor was shot. That’s what I figured.

  9. Third from the bottom is super cute and appears to be female.

  10. Can you summarize, Car in?

  11. Quatro is a girl, the rest are dudes. Quatro, however, is clearly a stripper.

  12. Too bad Car in. We’ll do our part to elevate your mood.

  13. The hormone therapy in Ocho is quite impressive.

  14. Every news report you’ve ever seen on TV:

  15. They scheduled me to work a double on Sunday. Mother’s day. The day from which was born “you don’t work a real double” comment last year. The weekend load depression will begin on Thursday. Friday night, all day Sat, all day Sun, all day Monday. You know, sure. It’s not a real double. It’s just 10 hours straight on my feet w/o any break what so ever to eat or anything.

    Fuck that shit. I am beyond pissed. I worked all Easter . Seriously, ETC?

    Mother’s day sucks. Twice the work, for shifty tips and people being assholes.

  16. I had invited my mom up for Sunday night since I assumed I was off, because I did Easter, I have a set schedule, and I don’t work Sunday night.

  17. Heh, shifty.

  18. Yea, Leon, I’m done fixing the Swype/Autocucumber things. Computer should be back this week. Just deal until then

  19. *teaches autocucumber “fuck”

  20. Well the situation sucks. Have you considered flinging feces at the person who wrote the schedule?

    Why not?

  21. I have thought of that . Chicken shit is the most obvious choice .

  22. It would send a very clear message about your schedule.

  23. If you need something heftier, I can haul up a sterilite bin full of the good stuff.

  24. It sucks being good at your job. You get the hard jobs, then.

    I am extremely fortunate to have a job, and I’m not gonna bitch about it. *repeats, over and over

  25. That’s why I target B+ performance.

  26. Might be crankery, but I keep wondering. Curious if there’s any experiment that could even settle the question.

  27. Viva la fiesta!!!! Feliz Cinco de Mayo, y’all.

  28. I was the only guy in the courtroom with a suit and tie except for the lawyers

  29. What was the case, Dave?

    And Siete has armpit hair, gross!

  30. And Siete has armpit hair, gross!

    What the heck are you talking about?

  31. Remember when the president said “Happy Cinco de Cuatro”?

    What a dope.

  32. I have a big high-res monitor and it does not look like a shadow, but individual hairs.

  33. Remember when the president said “Happy Cinco de Cuatro”?

    What a dope.

    Yeah, that Bush was a moron all right.

  34. Remember when the president said “Happy Cinco de Cuatro”?

    Of course I do, that’s why I put it in the poat.

  35. And Siete has armpit hair, gross!

    Oooooof; he does.

  36. You wrote Cuatro de Cinco.


  37. I like my rendering better. Translates literally as “four out of five”, or 80%. Goes to my earlier comment about targeting the B+.

    Also I forgot how he fudged it up.

  38. Yoga pants FTW. Everyone else is a dude.

  39. Good afternoon. Which one of you’s turn is it to give me a humpicure?

    *points to toolkit containing wood rasp, orbital sander, and spackle*

  40. It’s mare’s turn.

  41. Who?

  42. Dammit!

  43. I can do it.

    But I charge extra for boil popping, pus draining and ingrown hair removal. Also, I expect to be provided with a hazmat suit.

  44. Don’t worry about the pus. I’m saving it.

  45. Laura, be glad your pustule is on your back. You don’t wanna know about the boil in my nose.

  46. Dude. Are you gonna be okay?

  47. It’s XBrad. He didn’t start okay.

  48. I’ll be fine. Just as soon as I get settled into my new digs at the Home for the Visually Offensive.

  49. **looks online for a Hazmat shipper to send my surplus pus to Laura**

  50. OK, even *I* want to vomit now.

  51. Oh, I guess I don’t need to link the youtube…

  52. Emergency puppy

  53. Roamy/Leon picnic table

  54. Pepe, booooooo!

  55. >> What was the case, Dave?

    Don’t know. Didn’t even make the voir dire cut. I got cut loose at 10

  56. Soooo……at 8:00 on a Sunday night, the first openly gay bishop of the Episcopalian church announces he is getting a divorce from his partner, and it is quickly and quietly relegated to back bench status.

    And I’m betting that Episcopalians who are now indignant that their churches were torn asunder at the time of the ordination decision will now be told that they are unChristian if they question the wisdom of that decision.

    Honestly, this man caused so much dissension just because he wanted to force peoples’ acceptance, and now that it’s crashing down around him, he probably doesn’t think that he owes all of those people an apology. Chances are, he wants people to feel sorry for him now.

    This was always all about him.

  57. Why the hell do people make such a big fucking deal about some mexicans who beat the french? I wouldn’t brag about it.

  58. You got out of jury dooty by wearing a tie? I am sooo using that trick next time I get called up.

  59. Cyn, try wearing *just* a tie.

  60. The French had dysentery. They whipped the Mexicans a few days later.

  61. Cyn, try wearing *just* a tie.

    Hard to do here, you know that… hot pavement already. So I was thinking tie, Full Windsor, and thigh-high boots. You think the Full is too much??

  62. >>The French had dysentery.

    That is why you shouldn’t consume rations captured from enemy.

  63. Coors was trying to get back into favor with Latinos and Blacks. Started sponsoring events and scholarships. After the Smokey and the Bandit movies, Coors was seen as a “White” brand. Plus, one of the Coors family members made a comment about American blacks being lucky to have been brought to the US as slaves. They could still be in Africa. Or something rayciss like that. I just know that they sponsored the party on the plaza and the musicfest on campus for some stupid holiday no one had heard of. Budweiser stepped up a few years later. Today, 5$ Margs at pretty much every bar and restaurant.

  64. So, Coors is responsible for this?

  65. Si. It was a thing of beauty, before the campus booze nazis got involved. The early days of the Cinco de Mayo sponsorship clashes were incredibly fun and rewarding for a poor college student looking for free booze and appetizers.

  66. ….Coors was seen as a “White” brand….
    …..Or something rayciss like that. I just know that they sponsored the party on the plaza and the musicfest on campus for some stupid holiday no one had heard of. Budweiser stepped up a few years later.

    So why haven’t MadDog, Thunderbird, Ripple, and Schlitz Malt Liquor gone out of their way to prove that they’re not rayciss by sponsoring parties in white neighborhoods?

    I denounce myself in advance.

  67. >> You think the Full is too much??


  68. Tifw, they don’t have to. (I know you are joking. They own the urban markets that they are prevalent in) Coors was trying to break into the midwest market and they had just hurt their brand with the Southwest market that they had previously owned.

  69. I prefer most of the typical white beverages

  70. I think Budweiser really hurt themselves by pushing that American owned BS after Coors/Miller was sold. Inbev isn’t exactly “American”.

  71. White Russian. Whitest drink you can get.

    Or Rumpleminz.

  72. I’ve started calling white casts (which no kid ever wants) “Caucasians”

  73. Hmmm…whitest drink you can get….straight moonshine? Boone’s Farm? Euro white or Trailer Park white?

  74. Whitest drink ever: Vodka Martini.

    Never seen a person of color order one.

    MJ, what say you?

  75. James Bond’s favorite bartender?

    Michael J. Fox.

  76. Phat, we recently went through a yuppie martini phrase. Even had martini bars sprouting up everywhere. Yuppies of all colors drinking vodka/gin martinis and smoking cigars. Then the cigar nazis stepped up and put all the martini bars out of business. Or maybe it was AIDS. (I know it wasn’t AIDS, I just H8 yuppies a little less than hippies)

  77. XB just won May.

  78. Whitest drink ever: Lemon Bear Dick Punch

  79. We have brown people here.

  80. Where???!!?

  81. Lauraw, Tush, and I.

  82. Oso- Come June, I’m browner than you!

  83. I bet you are browner than I am…NOW!!! I know you speak more Espanol.

  84. **checks privilege**

    I’m whiter than both of you and I can dance poorly to prove it.

  85. *Joins Xbrad on dance floor*

    *Does an Elaine Benning*

    “Hey Brad, where ya you going?”

  86. Oso – Dad always claimed he was “black Irish” with Spanish blood from the Armada survivors. Meh.

  87. Eliminate superfluous ‘you’ up there

  88. Don’t you mean an Elaine Benes?

  89. Whitest guy here and it’s not even close.

    It’s kind of impressive that Leon can find so many dudes with tit jobs. I wonder if they go to Mexico for the procedure.

  90. I make Navin Johnson look like Fred Astaire!

  91. Chief, you don’t look pasty, Ginger, or freckled. Your Dad may have been right! Lots of peninsular influences on the GB.

  92. Really? We’re going to have a “White” off?

  93. I make Navin Johnson look like Fred Astaire!

    Ha ha

  94. Trinidad, CO.

  95. Don’t you mean an Elaine Benes?

    Fuuuuuuu!!!! What the hell was I thinking??

    Yes, yes I did mean Benes.

  96. I win the White Off.

  97. You actually look pretty brown in that pic.

  98. The freckles do weird things in the light.

  99. I was wearing shorts at Sea World. My legs were glowing like beacons in the blacklight. I don’t even remember what it was for. White people were looking at me like…damn, she’s white.

  100. If I were shorts outside for any length of time people start wondering where the bacon is.

  101. Wear/HS

  102. I’m so white, people think Dan is messican and I’m his guera bride.

  103. I’m so white, I’m my own nightlight.

  104. I’m so white, my HS teachers would use me as an example of “Caucasian” so Texans would know how to fill out the govt forms.

  105. Yo estoy marrón.

    *illegally immigrates to Messico*

  106. Leon, don’t do it! Mexico is actually serious about border control.

  107. Read marron as Maricon. My bad. Sorry.

  108. hey, where all de white people at??

  109. Oh my goodness, this reminds me of how old my dad’s jokes are.

    Example: “He’s so dumb he thinks the Mexican border pays rent”

    har de har har. *sigh*

  110. Lippy, just their Southern Border. Rayciss. I personally would like stricter Northern Border patrols.

  111. Leon, don’t do it! Mexico is actually serious about border control.

    Soy católico, la iglesia me protegerá. ¿Verdad?


  112. Yep, Oso. Canada lets in far too many muslims.

  113. Afternoon.

  114. Lippy, yep. Both US and Mejico.

  115. Today I built five (5) of these:

  116. Leon, we’ve been having this battle with the Church in NM for sometime.

  117. I tried to get Dan to wear an American flag shirt to work today, but this isn’t California. Le sigh.

  118. I’ve heard about it, Oso. I really wish they’d pour their energies into fixing the failed state to our south rather than facilitate ongoing crime.

  119. Hola, Jew. When is your next date?

  120. I don’t know yet Lippy. Date Guy is going to California for a wedding later this week. He’ll be back next week.

  121. Comment by BCochran1981 on May 5, 2014 5:19 pm
    Whitest guy here and it’s not even close.
    II’m so white I’m blue…………….

  122. “I’m so white, I’m blue” is my line.

  123. Pepe?

  124. Happy May 5th, fellow Americans.

  125. Rasist

  126. And that was actually on purpose, unlike the Elaine Bennet comment earlier. Just sticking with the program.

  127. Corona, California claims the longest running Cinco de Mayo festivities that don’t involve alcohol. Whatever! More people have heard of beer flavored water AKA Corona, than Corona, CA and their weak ass matachines parade.

  128. Corona, California claims the longest running Cinco de Mayo festivities that don’t involve alcohol.

    They’re proud of having the shittiest Cinco de Mayo party ever?

  129. I’m so white, MSNBC was like “Damn dude, you’re white.”

  130. Jewstin, I know! When I saw the parade costumes, I was BS! Cali didn’t have matachines! I’ve been to the Missions!!!

  131. Bcoch, I’m so white, Huffpo won’t even let me read their posts!

  132. Haha, I hadn’t seen this from back in November where Dave got top billing at Twitchy:

  133. 6 AM – 6PM, that has to count as a double.

  134. I’m so white, the White House offered me a job.

  135. Huffpo is pretty much only for white people, I thought.

  136. Specifically white people who are ashamed of their skin color.

  137. Lippy, NOV? Dude, that is like so 6 mos ago!

  138. Bcoch, FAIL! My cousin, Raul, was a WH fellow for the first 2 years of TFG.

  139. I know!!

  140. I saw bcoch interviewed by White Entertainment Network during White History Month.

  141. Lippy, I’m like “Dude” and you’re like “DUDE!”

  142. 6 AM – 6PM, that has to count as a double.

    Double… triple… whatever it takes.

  143. MARE!!!! Scott is skewing the results!

  144. They’re proud of having the shittiest Cinco de Mayo party ever?

    Their official seal contains the following motto: Lorem ipsum maius est in quinta mensis Maii, in factis, in mundo.

  145. I’m so white, I make jokes about Latin mottoes.

  146. (Oso – I phished a comment of yours from 5:25pm outta the bucket; keep an eye out for this)

  147. Thanks, Cyn.

  148. *slaps knee and laughs*

    I’m so white, I got Sean’s joke in Latin.

  149. Lippy, I’m like “Dude” and you’re like “DUDE!”


  150. Trinidad, CO used to be the transgender destination in the US. I’m old. I know stupid trivia.

  151. I am working Mother’s Day. When I seemed incredulous that they expected a huge crowd at The Establishment, I was told, “Oh, yeah. We get swamped. Game’s are on TV, and all the douchebags don’t want to hang with mom.”

  152. I’ve worked retail since 1978. Mother’s Day is the most asshole aggressive date on the calendar. Passive aggressive. Macro aggressive.

  153. I did take a spatula across the face for a funny comment my brother made. Mother’s Day 1979.

  154. I’ll also be working on Mother’s Day, Mun. Golf junkies don’t take a day off.

  155. I’m working Mother’s day too! Conspiracy? You tell me?

  156. I’m getting a dog on Mother’s Day.


  157. (I just want to say that Maine may quite possibly be the whitest state in the history of America and I bet that any dog that Jimbro gets is the whitest dog ever)

  158. Weird. I’ve heard of the Easter Ham, but never the Mother’s Day Dog.

  159. So white it’s blue (heeler)

  160. I’m going to smoke it Jewstin.

  161. BTW, my call weekend totally upended my plans to try smoking some meat on the barbie. Didn’t want to leave it to smoke in my absence.

  162. Dog is really good. I loved it. I totally missed that beef cho cho wasn’t beef on an island that imported powdered milk.

  163. Put one of the kids in charge of the barbie, Jimbro. What could go wrong?

  164. In a word: everything.

    We’re talking about kids that need to be reminded to flush the toilet and wash their hands after dropping ass. Open flames would be a recipe for disaster.

  165. Jimbro is totes rayciss!

  166. He puts the RINO in Maine!

  167. I bet if Jimbro got serious about the whitest Hostage, he would win. I’ve seen the math. I’ve seen the ads for ME based businesses. Maine is so white, Vermont says WTF?

  168. I’ve probably eaten dog. And cat for that matter. When I was in Thailand one of my favorite places to eat in Chiang Mai was a combination auto body shop and eatery. I would order mysterious and delicious things, but keep my questions to myself.

  169. Trigger warning.

    (the yyy at the end of the tinyurl link may as well be kkk)

  170. Jew, our amah said we were eating dog and cat. Didn’t care. It was yummy. Locals loved American pets. Bastards even stole my bunneh.

  171. I’ve probably eaten dog. And cat for that matter.

    Me too. I’ve been to the combination Pizza Hut and Taco Bell.

  172. You people eat ceviche and lobster and I’m supposed to feel bad about yummy dog and cat? FU lamb. FU poultry. FU.

  173. Can’t get away from it Oso

  174. What is the spice that makes white beer white?

  175. What is the spice that makes white beer white?


  176. Shut it, Stonecutter.

  177. Dunecat can’t save rayciss Lobster boy!

  178. What is the spice that makes white beer white?


  179. Gluten.

  180. Oso, I’m so white, I enjoy watching hockey on tv.

    (Nice work Caps. Bunch of losers.)

  181. Hockey? FU. I watch bowling AND Lacrosse. Jai Alai.

  182. I have a Hartford Whaler Jersey!

  183. I would cede whiteness to a BooSux, Celtic, pre-Brady Patriot fan. Like a Wahlburg.

  184. Whalers

  185. Is it just me, or is it getting very white here?

  186. I’m so white Pedro told me to vote for the other guy.

  187. Really cute fluke logo.

  188. Never cared for the team, loved the logo. I NEED a bear Bruins jersey and the stylized C in Canuck. NEED

  189. I’m so white, Public Enemy wrote a bunch of songs about me.

  190. Well, that doesn’t mean anything, Sean. I wrote a bunch of songs about you, too.

    *crazy eyes*

  191. Pretty sure “Derp” is rayciss, but I got too bored to finish the article.

  192. Just so you know, Peej and I share Baman Piderman links in honor of the Hump who isn’t even on Facechimpdouche.

  193. I’d do the whole “How YOU doin’?” thing, but scott’s avatard looks like the kind of guy who carries a sharpened screwdriver.

  194. Sharpened screwdrivers? You should see Pepe’s art on the FCD. Beautiful shabby stabby

  195. Stabby stabby.

  196. Shabby stabby isn’t so bad. Give it a try, Sean.

  197. >>>I have a Hartford Whaler Jersey!

    Ovechkin Caps jersey and a St. Louis Lightning jersey.

  198. I’m medium white

  199. Crosby tee and a Sabres jersey. Dan has a Capitals and an avalanche tee.

  200. Was talking to one of my grandma’s friends several years ago. They were remeniscing about east Texas where they came from. One said they had a sign with the town motto atthe city limit “The blackest dirt and the whitest people”

  201. Hoedown Throwdown while singing The Climb! (Drops mic)

  202. Lots of peninsular influences on the GB.


    Also, this is the view from my balcony at a resort in Hilton Head Island, SC.

    Did I mention how lucky I am, or how my life is awesome?

    Down here for a two day conference. 5 indians.

  203. Pepe, I remember Mexia had a sign that said “Don’t let the sun set on your black ass” May be apocryphal. I do know that a RL friend was the first Hispanic grocery manager in West Texas. People were taking shits on the conveyors. He was moved back to NM.

  204. Pupster is in Hilton Head? Do you even golf?

  205. Crosby is a chick and the Penguins can kiss my ass. . . just sayin’.

  206. Pfft…Flyer fan.

  207. Mexican chicks don’t get an opinion on hockey. It’s in the Constitution!

  208. Crosby is a total bitch.

    And oso, vienna sausage on saltines. It doesn’t get much whiter.

  209. What started out as a crappy day is ending with Rocketboy learning how to play “Sunshine of Your Love”. Definite improvement.

  210. Ugh, I make Dan eat sardines on saltines outside. That shit is whack! I love hockey. Cute guys on skates. Teeth optional.

  211. Shabby stabby isn’t so bad. Give it a try, Sean.

    My grampa fought a war so I wouldn’t have to eat Japanese food.

  212. Sean watches baseball at a park with Panda Express and Sushi.

  213. I ain’t eat that stuff, though. Clyde Wright’s BBQ.

  214. Pupster, if you get a chance, try out the Main Street Cafe. I remember it was good.

  215. fun! where’s the golf course?

  216. I’m here on somebody elses dime, no car. I eat when they say eat, drink when they say drink.

    HEY! There are free bathrobes in the closet!!!

    *pretends to be a boxer*

  217. Why is Dan eating bait?

  218. There are two courses on this plantation, a George Fazio and a Robert Trent Jones.

    Whatever the fuck that means.

    *re cinches bathrobe*

    One size fits all my ass.

  219. Man, I’m already sick of the Tomahawk Chop at Atlanta.

  220. Plantation? PLANTATION???!

    *puts on dashiki*

  221. Robert Trent Jones has my vote.

  222. Dan is weird. He’s never had crawdads. I don’t like them, so he’s never forced the issue. He’s never gone on a Robert Trent Jones tour either.

  223. I had crawdads once. It was an awesome day. In Texas.

    My sister got married that day, too. But that was merely incidental.

  224. Ohhhhhh oh ohhhhh..ohhhhhh oh ohhhhhh….ohhhhhhhhhh…

  225. Somebody offended the white guy.

  226. Love me some sardines. Also loves me some mudbugs!

  227. Is bcock humming New Kids?

  228. Wow!
    When Wiserbud laughingly told me to “check my credit”, after ordering the viola, he was NOT kidding.
    I THOUGHT he was kidding, but I was very very wrong…

    The day after he ordered it, someone calling from a phone number that resolves to Sweetwater, TN as “John(Star wars/Boston Pops) Williams” ordered $11,000 worth of promotional-thumb-drives imprinted with “OnPoint Ent.” logo.
    They were to be delivered to “Ashley(Playboy model) Cox” at a vacant house in Indianapolis.

    Let me tell you, surprise $12,000 VISA bills are surprising!
    VISA cancelled and new cards on the way.

    FUCK this shit, in particular…

    I’m drinking while Anita plays the viola in front of the bathroom mirror.

  229. Heh. That was what I was picking up too, J’Ames.

  230. Bcoch is a tomahawk chop pro-wife beating Booby Cox fan. If only he ate boiled peanuts and velveeta. He would totes win whitest hostage competition. Totes.

  231. Damn it.

    * closes thumb drive business *

  232. I love boiled peanuts.

    And velveeta is for rich assholes. Kraft singles is where it’s at.

  233. Holy crap, Chrispy, so glad you caught that quick!

    *snortles at Scott*

  234. In case wiser is around, my bloodwork went entirely smoothly today. There’s hardly even a mark where the needle went in.

  235. Cyn,
    The printing company and CitiBank are looking pretty hard at this.

    Unfortunately, they printed-up the drives.
    Fortunately, they did not ship them.
    Look for bargain thumb-drives at a “Big Lots” near you!
    Coming soon!


  236. >> My sister got married that day, too. But that was merely incidental.

    In Texas we call a wedding a “hootenanny”, Because it’s a funny word.

    Just like “crawdad”

  237. **waits for thumbdrive delivery**

  238. On Point looks legit

  239. There are three weeks between final exam week and the first week of Summer school.

    Three weeks to see family and friends, get the gardens squared up, strip & paint the upstairs bathroom, and help my family members get their new gardens established.

    Gonna work my ass off. Will be freakin’ wonderful.

  240. Yep, Scott.
    Totally cool.
    Somebody “may” need to get ‘whacked’ for this.
    Just sayin’.
    I know people who ‘move bodies’ in SoCal…

  241. It is not supposed to be 95 on May 5. Not even here

  242. Folks on the ‘Recipe Thread’ at AoS were talking about ‘Salsa Verde’.
    I was looking at recipes and they were like 2 jalapenos and 8 Tomatillos and one medium white onion.
    Then I Binged “Mexican Salsa Verde” and got 8 jalapenos, or Serranos and 5 Tomatillos.
    A bit different…

  243. Dude, in these parts the spinach is supposed to have germinated by now. But the nights have been too cold. Which is a bit annoying, though not actually all that ahistorical, if you take the long view.

  244. Comment by lauraw on May 5, 2014 10:07 pm

    Three weeks to ,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,strip & paint the upstairs bathroom,
    You paint nekkid?

  245. best version ever

    That was pretty good. If we’re linking Smiths covers, my friend’s younger sister is in this band:!/search?q=dum+dum+girls+there+is+a+light+that+never+goes+out

  246. + Mothers Day gifts

    + get the pond going for the season (water change, activate the live filter, remove muck, etc)

    Holy crap. I knew there were many things to do after my final exams but I wish I hadn’t started this ‘To-Do’ list.

  247. Laura,
    We are not gonna have a garden this year. Anita and I are both totally gimped-up.
    She is scared to death that her hip will dislocate again, and my back is totally fucked.
    Breaks my heart, but it is what it is.
    I’m sure the deer and elk will be heart-broken that they don’t have the three pyramids of green-beans to graze on.
    The bunnies won’t get their peas and peppers.

    Oh, well…

  248. So in the two weeks that I’ve been gone from ATL it has managed to achieve a before now, unheard of level of ghettoness. Who in the fuck steals the batteries out of the TV remote?

  249. MJ,
    I thought you were in Charlotte.
    Why do you have a TV remote in ATL?

  250. If you have a broken bone you’re not supposed to eat spinach.

    I heard that.

    In related news I already have tomatoes. Started too late last year BUT NOT THIS GODDAMN YEAR why am I yelling

  251. Crispy, I just know that Anita will be back up and about in no time, and hope very much that you will reach some kind of effective treatment for your pains.

    Wish I could do something to make you feel better right now.

  252. I’m in ATL working Chrispy. Just got here an hour ago.

  253. Sounds like fun MJ.

    Know what else is fun? Having a cob put up a thread at the HQ mocking you.

    Lol. I care not. I’m an unabashed 24 fanboi.

  254. White people’s music. . .

  255. Bcoch is a tomahawk chop pro-wife beating Booby Cox fan. If only he ate boiled peanuts and velveeta. He would totes win whitest hostage competition. Totes.

    Ditto, but I’ve been one for more years than he has. I win.

  256. Damn, Chrispy.

    We are really serious about protecting that kind of information, so much so that I forced the owner to update all of his computers to stay PCI compliant. He wasn’t happy about it, but it had to be done.

    By the way, just so you can all get a really good laugh, I will be interviewing the author of this book on Friday.

    Guess who will be talking recipes!

  257. I also own two Pat Boone albums.

  258. I had no idea what those words meant and I’ve never seen one episode of 24.

    It’s probably because I’m a communist.

    Explain in a 300 word essay what you would do to Keifer Sutherland if he was tied up, Bfanboi.

  259. >>>Guess who will be talking recipes!

    Tom Whateverhisnameis?

  260. For wiser

  261. I have pulled a muscle in my back doing exactly, nothing.

  262. Get the fuck out MJ.

    Just get out.

    And the question is invalid. If I attempted to tie him up, he would break loose and beat the hell out of me on his way out the door to prevent WWIII.


    I’ve been semi reading threads lately. She dislocated a hip?

  264. Also started making inroads at Hartford station.

    We’ll see what happens.

    I’ve been semi reading threads lately. She dislocated a hip?

    Dude, that was like a week ago.


    ummm… ditto.

  267. For wiser

    what the hell?

  268. I think Anita dislocated a hip that had a joint replacement, poor thing.

    *looks at my left knee*

    feels intact

  269. Wiser – Send a tape to Rush and tell him, for a nominal fee, you “might” be willing to sit in for him occasionally.

  270. Wiser, MCPO has a good plan, but you need to offer a cage match against Mark Steyn to sell the deal.

  271. * Throws more thumb drives on the fire *


  272. Did anybody finally acquire the toenail clippings they needed to complete their shrine to anybody else today?

  273. A song about diners for the author of a diner cookbook, derp.

  274. >>I have pulled a muscle in my back doing exactly, nothing.

    Nothing is one of the most dangerous things to do.
    I do it, because I am a trained expert, and I am a risk taker.

  275. Steyn is in NH, close enough.

  276. Can the Obama era get any worse? Yes, yes it can.

    Margaret Cho returning to television in the fall.

  277. A week ago?

    Wow. I really haven’t been paying attention.

    I hope Anita feels better very soon, and I’d give you a spine if I could find you an extra one, Chrispy.

  278. I don’t pick up kids, I don’t do yard work, I don’t tie steel for concrete (I did that when I was 18 and that shit IS back breaking).

    I didn’t even cough.

  279. Comment by roamingfirehydrant on May 5, 2014 10:28 pm
    I also own two Pat Boone albums.
    You win.

  280. A song about diners for the author of a diner cookbook, derp.

    hmmmm….. I guess I got distracted by the animation.

    I’ll try again.

  281. Wiser – Send a tape to Rush and tell him, for a nominal fee, you “might” be willing to sit in for him occasionally.

    he’s gonna need to ask me nicely

  282. Laura,
    Yeah, she’s getting around okay, but she has been betrayed by the prosthesis, and she is very afraid that it could fail again. Anytime, anywhere. When and if it does, she’s back in the ‘Red Box’ to the ER and go through this goat-fuck once again.
    Thanks for your wishes, sweetie.
    I’d hug you if I could.

  283. Fuck

  284. Yeah, she’s getting around okay, but she has been betrayed by the prosthesis, and she is very afraid that it could fail again.


    sorry to hear that, chrispy and best wishes to you both.

  285. ChrisP, give her a hug for me. I really can’t imagine going back in for a re-work on my left leg, I’m still trying to forget about that shit so I can face it with righty

  286. Sup?

  287. Sorry

  288. A song about diners for the author of a diner cookbook, derp.

    Was I the only one who was expecting Suzanne Vega?

  289. More music for white peoples. . .

  290. Dave, it has been two months since my mom got two new knees. She can walk more than a mile easily now, and just two days back flew to see my kid brother and climbed the three flights of stairs to his apartment. I am so happy. The only sadness is that I don’t get to see her often.

  291. Tushar blew my white apology.

    Who could’ve seen that coming?

  292. ChrisP, how are Anita’s ribs today?

  293. PG, if you think a tiny little sorry will atone for not checking your privilege all these years, you are mistaken.

    Check your privilege!

    I don’t even know what ‘Check your privilege’ means.
    These feminists and assorted culties are freaking nubags.

  294. Check it, as in a coat check sort of way, is my guess. Like give it up.

  295. So, the 15 is closed up by Hesperia. Doubt any Morons here use it, but there was a bridge collapse.

  296. Lipstick,
    Getting better. Less frequent “Ouch!”
    Her hip does not hurt her at all, but she is scared to death that it will fail again.
    A ‘crises of confidence”, if you will.

    Tushar, your mom is rockin’!
    I am so very glad for her!

  297. >> I am so happy.

    I’m glad for your mom too scary brown guy. And believe me, I get the missing thing.

    Call her every week without fail. Tell her you love her always. Always, always let that be the last thing she ever heard you say. Trust me on this.

  298. ChrisP, can she remember any specific motion she did that could have caused this? Maybe some tight restrictive bandage etc to prevent that specific motion? She cannot lose confidence and live in constant fear like that.

  299. She was stepping back. Maybe she let the thigh go back too far and put too much pressure on the hip.

  300. Thanks, Dave. I call her and dad as often as I can. All they want to hear about is the kids.

  301. Tushar,
    She has ordered a brace from Amazon that is supposed to hold the hip in place. It is highly rated, though that means nothing.
    The strange thing is that she stepped-back with the right-leg, and the left-hip blew-out.
    We will see…

  302. >> All they want to hear about is the kids.

    I’m sure a smart Skype savvy guy likes you sticks grandkids in front of the webcam often.

    They are their legacy.

  303. NYTOL,
    I love you guys…

  304. Night ChrisP. Sleep well.

  305. I have discovered that feisty 2 year olds only stay in camera range for 3.7 seconds when video chatting.

  306. I don’t even know what ‘Check your privilege’ means.

    It translates roughly to “Shut up, whitey.”

  307. HAHAHAHA oh Master Chief I envy you that little girl and how big a mush you are over her. She is so adorable,

    You’re a fortunate man.


  308. That. ^^^ Give it up and shut up. But you also have to take this ticket that says you acknowledge that you have had this privilege unfairly.

    The Scarlet Ticket.

  309. I was responding the Mr. Sean “Shut up Whitey”.

    And good night Dave.

  310. zzzz nite lips

  311. Dang – this 24 season is going to be pretty dark.

  312. ♫ Oh, I’ve got a scarlet ticket… ♫

  313. Last season was dark Cyn. Dark and fucking awesome.

    I don’t think this season will go anywhere near the last one.

  314. I stopped watching years ago… we’re catching up now on Prime but didn’t want to miss this. The boys are really hooked.

  315. It’s badass. For me, far and away the best show on tv.

  316. The boys were little when 24 came out and they always went to bed early when it came on. I can remember running, RUNNING, out to the living room when I heard the first “tink, tink, tink, tink” sounds of the opening. SPRINT!!!

  317. I don’t think I watched the final (before now) season. My memory is a little hazy.

  318. You would remember it Sean. About halfway through the season, news came out that it was the “final” season. The writers appeared to “ah fuck it. let’s go dark.” And boy did they ever.

  319. No spoilers, or I will have to cut you.

  320. *hands raised*

    Yes ma’am.

  321. You would remember it Sean.

    Er, there are things that happened to me back in 2010 that I don’t remember. But yeah, I’m looking over the synopses on IMDB and it looks like I didn’t watch.

  322. Tanks mon.

    – – –

    G’night and Mwah, guys… Must try to catch up on zzzzzz’s (up last night for a while when The Axeman hit 333; he’s been fighting a cold).

  323. Nitey nite, Cyn. Hope the boy feels better soon.

  324. I took my baby to the doctor
    With a fever, but nothing he found
    By the time this hit the derp
    They said she had a breakdown

  325. I wish I had thought of this, but alas…

    ted kennedy has the only confirmed kill in the war on women.

  326. Morning, children.

  327. That was amazing, MJ. Thanks for sharing that with us.

  328. Wakey wakey

  329. So, is this the first season of 24 since it stopped? I think I missed the last one before it ended.

  330. Is Wordpuss messing with me, or is it that slow this morning?

  331. It’s slow.

  332. Hahahahaha.

  333. It’s slow. Can anyone do a Tuesday post or should I throw some crap at the wall?

  334. Throw it.

    And good morning, cool kids.

  335. Worky worky.

    Which hopefully includes the press release that was supposed to be for Earth Day (April 22). Place your bets.

  336. Obama is releasing some huge, dire global warming thing today.

  337. Noo Poat.

Sorry, the comment form is closed at this time.

Comments RSS