So….Senator Diaz-Whatever thinks the immigration reform will pass soon because he’s been shopping it around Capitol Hill and everyone has a real case of the smiley-likes over it.
STATUS—-DOA. This is bullshit of the highest level. There is no way that it will go through and quite frankly, the only reason anyone is making any noise about it at all is because there is giant wave of pain coming in the midterms. After that, Boehner will never get enough squishes to vote with DemocRats on immigration reform. It’s now or never so they’re playing the ‘inevitable’ game.
One might be tempted to note that we already have an immigration system in place and if the government decided to, you know, enforce the laws, we wouldn’t be in this mess right now. But that’s just silliness from radical right wing rethuglican wingnuts that play by the rules, if you listen to our betters. The only way we’ll be ever win an election again is to legalize and give voting rights to a group that will always vote for DemocRats. Their logic is truly dizzying.
So here are the conditions, which I know will never pass.
A wall. Walls are nice. They keep people out and give a semblance of sovereignty to the nation. For examples of how walls make good neighbors see the following: England, China, Israel, Your Fucking Backyard. I propose that the asshats that live in Manhattan or DC show good faith by removing their walls that they share with their neighbors before proposing that walls aren’t that important. I’d like to hear about David Brooks peeing (sitting down) while his neighbor watches from their kitchen. When that happens, I’m all in for immigration reform.
No voting rights, ever. If you crossed the border illegally as an adult you will never vote in this country. You have shown a wonton (especially if you’re Chinese) disregard for the people and property of the Unites States and should therefore never be allowed to participate in an election. If you truly came here to better your family, the most you can hope for is that your children will be part of the civic process.
No benefits. I think there’s a rational argument to be made for SS or Medicare if these programs have been paid into, but there will be no food stamps, no section 8, no Headstart, no welfare, no Obamacare subsidy…nothing.
Repayment of all back taxes. If you have lived here and worked here for 20 years and not paid into the system, you will pay, including all penalties and interest. No more free rides.
Repayment of all benefits. If you have used any social welfare benefits, they must be repaid in full. We’ll even set up a really nice payment plan system for you! For just 60 easy payments of xx you too can be part of the great American dream! Kind of.
Tushar gets to yell at you for an hour. Someone from the H2 will translate if he becomes so enraged that you can barely understand him, or English can’t be understood. I believe we have people that can speak French, Spanish, Hindi, Latin (if you’re a time traveler), and a few others. We could probably make a decent stab at Italian and Portuguese if required to do so. If there are Swedes that come over illegally we just need this phrase: din inavlade kuksugare. You inbred cocksucker.
DON’T BE A DICKWEED, MJ.
SWAT HUMP GIF HERE, MOTHER FUCKER.
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