You wanted a poat…

You’ll accept minimal content…

You’ll get selfies.

And really, isn’t this the story of Obama?

Bjr4PPZCIAADwfS

So, I managed to hack a few Hostage cell phones. Let’s take a peek, shall we?

MJ

geraldo-300x450

Scott

hdboston2

Laura

WateringGarden2

Hotspur

angry-old-man-4-2

Dave in Texas

flat,550x550,075,f

Last, but not least, Cyn

these-6-cheap-easy-diy-masks-are-perfect-for-last-minute-halloween-costumes.w654

Well, that was fun. I’m sure punishment will be swift, brutal and merciless. That’s ok. Worth it. Lots more hacked pics floating around, maybe we’ll do this again.

361 Comments

  1. I miss the boobs already

  2. Nice poat you got here Brent, let me step into the other room for tea

  3. I like the lauraw one best

    wakey wakey

  4. I never knew MJ looked so much Geraldo Rivera

  5. Worky worky.

  6. 7! Scorpion sprouts.

  7. Nope, 6. Some sort of clover sneaked in the pot.

  8. I got a few more milk jugs from friends at work. YEA. I’ll start some kale and spinach.

  9. Morning, children.

  10. >> Newark sucks.

    So does East Orange

  11. Good gardening work sing for Laura

  12. Freezing rain.

    http://imgur.com/wBS1NFN

  13. I blame the evil queen and her foul snow powers.

  14. Putin just tweeted Obama a selfie of his ass

  15. Something happen today that I haven’t heard yet, TJew?

  16. Did Georgia get invaded or something?

  17. Nothing new
    SOS with our pussy in chief..

  18. I’m going to go buy a grill today and make my minions assemble it.

    I’ve got a Weber charcoal with electric start picked out, now I have to go see if Scottw or Lauraw’s Ohio cousin stores have the one I want. Since it is raining ice pellets, I may allow assembly in the garage.

  19. We do need to defend Estonia from Putin since, after all, it invented Skype and, according to Phat (IIRC) has the best-looking women in the world..

    http://tinyurl.com/krpjelu

  20. Spinning was a total failure. I pedaled for an HOUR, got no where, and didn’t pass a single person.

    I was SO SURE I could at least pass up that fat chick in front of me.

  21. Ilves is a badass. His response to Krugman was a thing of beauty.

    Spinning was a total failure. I pedaled for an HOUR, got no where, and didn’t pass a single person.

    How far did the pedo meter say you went?

  22. DANG. I forgot to wear the Pedo meter spinning.

    This day is just one failure after another.

    I will wear it at work. At least I’ll have that.

  23. TJ, you recall correctly. I met my next two future ex-wives on my last trip to Tallinn.

  24. Does the pedo-meter go off when Harry Reid is on TV?

  25. Mrs. Caruthers said the average girl on the street in Estonia or Latvia could be a catalog model here, if not runway.

  26. G-murmin

    http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=VTCJ5hedcVA&t=0m14s

  27. Bcoch, good etiquette dictates that when you make a new poat, you put a comment in the old one so that no one is left there talking to themselves.
    Sure, it was me today, but tomorrow it could be someone people want to talk to.

  28. That would be difficult to do Tushar, as I wrote the poat last night, scheduled it to post at 715 this morning and I was still asleep then.

  29. I do the same thing with MMM.

  30. I like that Ilves guy. (followed a link to the twitter spat and when Krugman was told the guy grew up in New Jersey, he was his dick self and continued to pick apart what Estonia should have done. As if he is some grand master the peasants should listen to. Asshole.)

  31. Former Enron Advisor Paul Krugman?

  32. Former Enron Advisor Paul Krugman?

    The warty toad himself. Ilves took him to task with considerable aplomb.

  33. So I was a dumbass and accidentally put regular laundry detergent in my high efficiency washer, yesterday.

    I don’t know how many rinse cycles I put it through trying to get the suds out. Which is more proof of my dumbassery. That and the machine does not spritz any water in the spin cycle, like a top loader does to help get rid of any lingering suds.

    I finally figured out that I had to let it fill up so I could bail the water out in a bucket and replace it with clean water. Four times. A monkey probably could have figured that out sooner.

    Now I have to go to the laundromat to rewash a few things as they will have some non-he residue on them, which I’m too scared will suds up the machine again.

  34. bcochran, skim through this for the tweets –

    http://www.businessweek.com/articles/2012-07-19/krugmenistan-vs-dot-estonia

  35. I’d do a selfie but it’s so dark in my coffin.

  36. Hey BCoch, are you in Jacksonville? I might be visiting there sometime. I am buying property in Jacksonville like a mofo. May move there a few years down the road.

  37. Buying for yourself, Tushar? Rental investments?

  38. Also, how much longer are you trapped in NJ?

  39. Good morning, cool kids. And Bcrock.

  40. Hmm. Do I bother tuning in to the Tom Hill and that Other Guy show?

  41. I’ve got this other podcast… I can only listen to one thing at a time…

    Darn it. Really torn.

  42. Leon, yes, investment properties.
    I plan to be in NJ for a bit more time and get some good sounding job titles. After that, I will move south.

  43. RAIN!!!! It never stops here.

  44. The rent to house cost ratio is pretty attractive right now. I plan to have a decent portfolio before that changes.

  45. Look in Feather Sound, Tushar. There are condos selling for 60-80K, and can be rented for around $1000 per month.

  46. Clearwater, FL 33762–the community is called Feather Sound.

  47. I am impressed by your astute business acumen. I have considered such a thing but am fearful that I won’t have the energy to navigate the needed complexity.

  48. Of course, I find out next week if I can ever borrow money again after drowning myself in debt getting my MD.

  49. MJ, I am buying mostly in Jacksonville. Want to keep them in a single location if possible. Clearwater is a bit out of the way. My numbers are similar to what you gave.

    Leon, my close childhood friend lives in Fl. He bought four properties, and dragged me kicking and screaming into this. Now I am hooked. I already have one property, and simultaneously working on 3 more! I will have ulcers by the time this is over.

  50. *calls number on screen*
    *buys the Tushar Real Estate Riches System*

  51. Unless you are really smart, in the southern Clownifornia, your primary residence will eat up all of your real estate monies. And I’m not really smart.

    I would make a lousy landlord. And by lousy I mean unprofitable.

  52. On the plus side, Leon, now that you have your MD, you can write scrips for all your friends.

    Oxy here we come!

  53. I could use something for my 5 day headache.

  54. Seems to me a fella could make a pretty good living doing the opposite of whatever Krugman says.

  55. I’m still waiting to get that in the mail with my diploma, sadly.

    I can write you something on the back of this Meijer receipt and wish you the best of luck, though.

  56. Hey, for all the MMM tuckers, Leon can write prescriptions to begin hormone therapy and pre-op gender reassignment.

  57. I could use something for my 5 day headache.

    DotW?

    Kidding. How’s your sleep and hydration?

  58. I am the most financially conservative guy you have ever met. I take every step after a lot of analysis. I am ok with lower returns, but I don’t want fanciful investments. I am ok with this. My analysis looks good.

  59. When I tell them that the “op” means they last orgasm they’ve had is the last one they’re going to have, most opt to just stay on the drugs and dress like girls.

  60. How come the brown person gets to live the American dream?

  61. Being a landlord in So Cal is clearly possible, but unless you get in at a rock bottom price it’s hard to see profit. If you bought in the late nineties slump you’re golden. Now not so much. Plus the laws here are heavily stacked against the landlord. It takes six months to a year to eject a deadbeat, and meanwhile they trash your unit.

    I’m fresh out of investment ideas myself. Like I said I’m not that smart. Probably the best thing I did apart from underspend was buying a nice chunk of Apple back in the mid-100 range.

  62. Do you use your friend or hire a property management company, Tushar?

  63. The brown person also posts the best weird videos.

  64. Kidding. How’s your sleep and hydration?
    ———————–
    Good, actually. I drink a lot of water and I get about 8 hours a night.

    I think when I had one of my molars removed, the dentist really screwed things up. My jaw still hurts, and it basically goes all the way up to my head.

    Hopefully it will go away. Or I’ll just get my prostate checked.

  65. You are probably getting exposed to a lot of pollens you didn’t have in Florida, too. My youngest is allergic to pine tree pollen, we took a vacation to Hilton Head Island in May…the yellow pollen was blowing around and covering everything like a dust storm. He was miserable.

  66. Did you get an implant to fill the gap in the bone? Sometimes those can result in bone loss or pearling. If there’s nothing in the gap, the bone could be growing in to fill it. I’d get an x-ray from another dentist and see how things are going. Bone loss in the mandible or skull is no joke.

  67. I used to go to Georgia for a few days, every year. During the spring. So many trees, so much pollen.

    Last couple of times I went, I felt sick all over. Didn’t start to feel better until I hit Kentucky, on the way home.

  68. Pupster’s linking pictures of girls spanking the monkey!

    Naughty bad!

  69. Position as Worstest Mom In The World… SECURED!

    The Axeman asks yesterday if he can go hang out with friends at the mall today; sure, happy to take you! When do I get the details on when he’s supposed to be there? About 45 minutes ago that he had to be there at 10:15am. BZZZZZZT. Nope.

  70. So, any hints on the DotW? I’m asking for a friend.

  71. It’s already on youtube, Cyn.

  72. Cool

  73. Nice ranting, Radiobud!

  74. What was the rant about, paternalism?

  75. Reading takes concentration. . .

  76. BookDeb

  77. ^OMGSQUEE!!^

  78. Sooooooo cute.

  79. Too cute! How is she doing after her asthma diagnosis? Is it allergy related? *fingers crossed*

  80. I remain unimpressed with her new hairstyle.

  81. Cyn – Much better, but the kids are leery of the medication. Makes her a little crazy person.

  82. You know, if that children’s book isn’t a copy of “Heather Has Two Mommies,” you’re a hatey racist homophobic bigot.

  83. Pups, my friend does everything from scouting properties to getting the house ready for renting. Then he hand it over to a property manager and just keeps an eye.
    He has not asked for anything for his effort, but I am going to give him a fat sum for his efforts.

    This is what we do: look for foreclosed properties that look damaged (so no bank will finance, ergo very few interested buyers), but are easily repairable. We bid on em, buy em, fix em, go to mortgage folks and get financed, and put them up for rent. We make strategic changes to the property that makes sense from rental perspective: e.g. Replace carpet with laminate flooring. Renters pay premium for it, and it does not get damaged easily. Concrete preformed siding: cheap, durable and low maintenance. Etc etc.

    In Florida evicting them is easy and cheap, and getting new renters is even easier. My friend had to evict a guy. As his stuff was being taken out, another guy swooped in and rented the property right there.

  84. So, basically, you’re a slumlord.

    Cool.

  85. George – It is a book about princesses. Doing our best to indoctrinate her into a hateful, hetero-normative racist.

  86. My rental property in Fl has been vacant for about 20 days in 4 years.

    It’s not difficult to find people to rent a decent, well maintained place.

  87. This reminds me of “Glengarry Glenross” where there was a reference to a prospect named Patel. Patel means “landowner” or “landlord” methinks.

  88. XBrad, basically yes.

    Look, stupid people make unwise life decisions and suffer losses. Their loss logically has to be someone’s gain. Someone has to volunteer to gain. I am just stepping up to the plate.

    A lot of these get HUD assistance. Some drive BMWs! If one cannot afford to buy a $60K townhouse, but buys a BMW on zero down(to have it repossessed soon), he has no choice but to rent.

    These are not bad people. Just dumb.

  89. >>>Hey BCoch, are you in Jacksonville? I might be visiting there sometime. I am buying property in Jacksonville like a mofo. May move there a few years down the road.

    No shit? Awesome. I work in Jax but live north of there in Fernandina.

  90. What area of town?

  91. Cyn – Much better, but the kids are leery of the medication. Makes her a little crazy person.

    I’ll bet it does!

  92. Bcoch, to the east of downtown Jax. East of 295 and north of Fl 10 highway.

  93. Tushar – Don’t let him lie to you!! He really lives in Yulee!

  94. Arlington? Ft. Caroline?

  95. Ft Caroline

  96. Shut up chief.

    Tushar, that’s Arlington.

    Get good insurance. Some of that area can be rough.

  97. Bcoch, one of my properties is on a road named fort carolines lake dr, so I guessed the area name. I have no freaking clew.

    Also, you are kinda right about the area. I would never live there myself, but the numbers add up well for that area.

  98. That neighborhood is right up against Mill Cove Golf Course. Not too bad.

  99. That was a little too accurate for my comfort, Tushar!

  100. What if I make my hookers wear blue latex gloves?

  101. Might be the cheapest way to get your prostate checked for brain tumors.

  102. Tushar
    You need to get to colder climates with fewer bugs
    Try Minnesota or North Dakota

  103. Going back in for more horrific doctor torture in a couple of weeks
    Don’t mention “prostate” while I’m in the building

  104. Leon, or, you could train a doctor very little or pay a TSA agent a fuckload of money. What is your point?

  105. I just take issue with the exclusion of that possibility in the diagram.

    Also it’s kinky.

  106. >>>What is your point?

    That somebody better mind the stepchildren.

  107. Get your annual physical whilst flying for business or pleasure – this could work.

  108. Maybe I should find a female urologist who is also a prostitute
    That would work well..

  109. 1. ????
    B. ????
    iii. Profit!

  110. Jeebus what a mess. Just got finished cleaning the deck, drive and porch.. the hail tore leave and twigs all over the place. I’m still cleaning the pool.

    Sonofa. I need a Nobel Peace Prize

  111. What, you think they hand those out to just anybody, Dave?

  112. http://imgur.com/gallery/zIlOisx

  113. I’d like to donate $20 to whoever greased the handrail.

  114. “Greased the handrail” sounds dirty

  115. *grabs a Nobel coin from the H2 kitchen junk drawer, tosses to Dave*

  116. “Greased Handrail” sounds like it could be a new DotW…!

  117. Or a package at the Bunny Ranch.

  118. My father had a plan to build some rental properties with concrete floors, so that all he has to do is hose the damn thing out when the tenants move out.

    In other news, flying out of Fayetteville sucks, but I’m home finally. I swear next time I’ll fly into Charlotte and rent a damn car.

  119. I thought “Greased Handrail” was an album by the group Indian Slumlord.

  120. Nah, Greased Handrail opened for Indian Slumlord.

  121. Thank you Cyn. *puts the leaf blower up against my lap, this is gonna be awesome*

    AVENGE ME

  122. I don’t know who changed the header pic, or when, but that is outstanding.

  123. HAHAHAHAHAHA!

    *ahem*

    I mean, um, that’s horribly offensive!eleventy!

  124. JTFC: I really could just strangle my company’s management sometimes. We freaking use an excel spread sheet to upload our time recordings for our file work. We went from version 6.0 to 6.5 in a matter of three weeks. This last change, instead of inserting the new spread sheet in my existing on-going record of all my files, ohhhh noooo, I have to enter each tab individually of my existing work into the new spread sheet. Doesn’t anyone know how to fucking use Access anymore?!! @@ Fuck me running. /end rant

  125. ….wherein I threaten to set Tom Hill on fire……

    http://stevenoxonradio.wordpress.com/2014/03/29/special-edition-saturday-march-29-2014/

  126. best part of this week’s drink video is that MJ can drink the unfinished portion of the cranberry juice to help get rid of his “issue.”

  127. Good job, wiser – you did not suck very much at all today!
    *tosses a Nobel out of the junk drawer*

  128. *tosses a Nobel out of the junk drawer*

    Gee. Thanks.

    *tosses Nobel on the pile with the rest of them

  129. Wha?? It’s not like you were good enough for beads. Sheesh.

  130. Wha?? It’s not like you were good enough for beads. Sheesh.

    I promise to step up my game next week.

  131. and now, it’s nap time.

  132. Nap time? Oh sure… leave me so I have to work on this mutheffin’ spread sheet. Thanks. THANK A LOT!

    *runs off crying, slams door*

  133. I simply cannot move without pain today. Stupid rain.

  134. Sorry to hear that Master Chief :(

  135. Oye, what a day.

  136. Scott

    http://tinyurl.com/lrw56r6

  137. The ground is still frozen and we have about 3″ of rain on the way.

    Tomorrow will be Sump Pumpalooza at Home Depot.

  138. That’s gonna be alotta water.

  139. Gonna need a bigger boat.

  140. Gonna need a bigger Home Depot sump pump department.

  141. Are basements pretty common back there?

  142. Scott spent all afternoon marking sump-pumps, shop-vacs, and such up 300%. Tomorrow they’ll knock off 20% and announce that it’s a sale.

  143. Of course, Cyn.

  144. I thought about buying all of them.

  145. Cyn, most homes have basements, probably 95% or more.

  146. Maybe the internet wasn’t a great idea:

  147. Saw this on a guy I used to know’s facedouche page this morning and laughed.

    I went to the bar last night. When they played chubby checker’s “twist”, I got up and twisted. When they played van halen’s “jump”, I got up and jumped. When they played dexy’s midnight rider’s “come on Eileen”, I got thrown out of the bar.

  148. There was a fat lady at HD wearing tight stretchy pants today.

    Across her ass was LOVE LOVE PINK, my brain switched it to LOVE LOVE CAKE.

    Uncontrollable laughter followed.

    People wanted to know what was so funny and I couldn’t tell them.

  149. MOOOOMMM! Scott’s committing thought crimes again!!

  150. I will never understand the “LOVE PINK” thing.

    I mean, I realize that I’m an immature juvenile idiot, but I can’t be the only one who sees “PINK” and thinks….well…

  151. Why did it need two “LOVE”s? I thought that branding just had it once.

    Oh….

  152. Ballsiest man ever

    http://imgur.com/gallery/LmJBC

  153. http://is.gd/9Wt7ym

  154. After letting your spawn put it together, do you have a new grill yet, Pups? http://i.imgur.com/wVYM5RY.gif

  155. I think I will be ingesting copious amounts of booze this evening.

  156. Goals are good.

  157. I’ve been slowly ingesting all afternoon chief. Nice slow buzz.

  158. I’ll wait until I’ve had my chicken pot pie, then start drinking in earnest.

  159. Greetings, flatlanders.

  160. Wow, dogs understand gratitude so clearly.

    A cat would scratch its rescuer all the way and then run away.

  161. http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ApmvDU5RmyY

  162. Tushar – That pup was definitely pleased to be outta there!

  163. I will never understand the “LOVE PINK” thing.

    I mean, I realize that I’m an immature juvenile idiot, but I can’t be the only one who sees “PINK” and thinks….well…

    There’s a commercial (I think for 5 Hour Energy) where they have various people saying things like “I do it for PINK!” and I’m always waiting for one of them to bust out with one of these:

  164. My roommate has an interesting approach to the telephone which he uses incessantly.

    Roomie: Blah, blah blah HELLO?! YEAH, blah, blah, blah Hold on. *throws down phone goes to bathroom* HELLO? Yeah. Blah, blah blah. Hang on. *throws down phone, eats snack* HELLO?

    Me:Are you even talking to the same person?

    Roomie: Huh? Yeah. HELLO? Yeah. Blah, blah, blah.

  165. When he is in bathroom, switch it off. See if he notices.

  166. I think he would notice. I’m fairly certain HELLO? is him saying ‘Can you hear me now?’l

  167. I have to wonder at the person on the other end of the call. Seven minutes of silence would be more than enough for me to hang up.

  168. Seven minutes of silence is preferable to seven minutes of grunting and dookies sploinking in water.

  169. My mom would consider him courteous for not taking the phone into the bathroom.

  170. Am I the only person left to say ‘Well, I gotta go now. Uh, huh. I’ll talk to you later.’?

  171. Fuck you people and your freshly minted social norms. I’m going home.

    And stay off my lawn.

  172. Am I the only person left to say ‘Well, I gotta go now. Uh, huh. I’ll talk to you later.’?

    No… there is another.

  173. No one talks on the phone anymore. Now you tweet your bowel movements complete with appropriate selfie.

  174. Leon will probably fap to this

    http://imgur.com/gallery/1ZGJGD6

  175. No one talks on the phone anymore. Now you tweet your bowel movements complete with appropriate selfie.

    Tweeting is, like, so 2013. It’s all done with the Snappychats now.

  176. Snappychat? Bitch, please. You can’t Kik me?

  177. By the way, nice game outta the Huskies last night. We were so busy, I couldn’t even be sad!

    Mainly cuz I couldn’t watch it.

  178. Vine your stool

  179. My new app will allow users to record their bowel movements and compare them to their friends’. The winner each day will get a groupon.

  180. My new app will allow users to record their bowel movements and compare them to their friends’. The winner each day will get a groupon.

    Roomie will see to it that he has taco shits daily. I hope groupon can keep up.

  181. Leon, in case videos help you get off better than gifs.

  182. In the not-too-distant future, all pooping will be done by drones.

  183. ~hi guys~

  184. Look, stupid people make unwise life decisions and suffer losses. Their loss logically has to be someone’s gain.

    That’s actually not at all logical. The economy in general, and particular markets like residential real estate, are not a zero sum game.

    You also meant to refer to rent-to-value ratios, I hope. Generally they are now closer to economically rational, since the residential real estate bubble burst, but not necessarily a bargain by long-term standards. Rent-to-cost, which you mentioned, is a meaningless number unless cost actually represents FMV, which is questionable with foreclosure properties.

    Good luck. Lot’s of people really do make serious money renting and flipping houses, but you gotta be careful.

  185. ‘Sup, osita.

  186. Dodgers/Angels coming up on MLB.network. I’ve got the windows open and it smells like everyone is grilling tonight.

  187. Soon…

  188. I H8 the Dodgers, but Vin Scully is pure class.

  189. I just ripped that. Gonna make it my ringtone.

  190. Tushar

    First they came for the Hindus..

    http://tinyurl.com/mgk86um

  191. The Dodgers just started their own cable network, and so far, only Time Warner Cable has it. None of the other local providers want to pay them what they want to carry it.

  192. Michael, to give youa typical example. I can buy and fix a property for $75k. I can get $1000k monthly rent on it. A typical 15 yr 4% mortgage will cost me $450. My invested cash is roughly $20k.

    After $100 property management fee, my monthly cashflow is $450. Even if I consider $100 per month other expenses, i still have $4000 yearly return. So I am looking at a 20% before tax return. Anything north of 10% is good, and here I am making 20.

    I am not even counting the depreciation I can claim etc.

    Not to mention that after 15 years, I own this property outright. No more mortgage, and my cashflow doubles.

    I am getting advice from some veterans in this field with a shitload of local knowledge. If I play this right, I think I can retire in 15 years. Ofcourse I won’t.

  193. TJ! This means war! How dare he insult our gods?

  194. Michael, these properties are foreclosed. That does not mean they are in shitty areas. There is a nice golf course next to two of my properties.

  195. Can one of you please call Geraldo and tell him he’s not sexy? He is starting to look like my uncle Joaquim. Who is, not hot.

    Thanks.

    And wtf is that big yellow thing in the pic above him? Horrid. And the giant green beads…! Urk. Jeepers. Awful.

    Oh, and hi there people. *waves*

  196. May Lord Ganesh smite these heathens!

  197. Wtf is this? There is not much resemblance yet. But this is clearly sorcery.

    http://www.foxnews.com/science/2014/03/28/know-what-youre-thinking-scientists-find-way-to-read-minds/

  198. ~hi Lauraw~ nice ringtone, Sean.

  199. I *am* a little curious why the State Department spox has her anal beads around her neck.

  200. $100 per month for other expenses?

    That would be the best month ever.

  201. Laura, I’m only going to say this once….I need you to do the Garden Thread. I love the fine folks at the HQ and the weekend Open Bloggers are basically commenters that managed to get keys, so I love them more. But, please, go hijack the weekend Garden Thread.

  202. >>>$100 per month for other expenses?
    That would be the best month ever.

    $1200 a year for basic maintenance/landlord responsibilities? I think that’s reasonable.

  203. Scott, even with $200 other expenses, I am looking at a 15% rate of return. Even with $300 per month, I am still making 10%. If my property is costing me $300+ extra expenses per month, I chose poorly and should be ashamed of myself.

  204. OMG I can’t wait for Laura to hijack the garden thread.

    DO IT! DO IT.

  205. What’s your property tax?

  206. In the last few years I have replaced the roof, a boiler, and had a large tree removed. Our driveway needs to be replaced, our water heater is broken and we need updates inside.

    We were about to spend about $7000 on replacement windows when the economy tanked.

    Some years can be $100 per month, some years will be 5X that.

  207. Oso, you want to dance?

    http://imgur.com/gallery/BNCKC47

  208. Scott, I am doing all that right after purchasing the house! I am not expecting anything to break soon, unless I get asshole tenants. And if they do, I don’t return the deposit.

  209. I am spending an average of $20k on each house before the first tenant walks in.

  210. It doesn’t matter Tushar. In 15 years it’s paid off.

    If you break even every month, it’s still a very good deal.

  211. >>>OMG I can’t wait for Laura to hijack the garden thread.
    DO IT! DO IT.

    You follow what I’m delicately trying to say, right?

  212. The “it doesn’t matter” referred to the monthly expenses.

  213. Scott, yep. I don’t care as long as the property pays the mortgage and I don’t have to sink any more money into it.

  214. Nice tango bear, Tush.

  215. >> You follow what I’m delicately trying to say, right?

    No what?

  216. Ummm…that Laura should take over that thread. Yup. That’s it.

  217. Seven minutes of silence is preferable to seven minutes of grunting and dookies sploinking in water.

    I hang up on people who take me into the can with them. And I won’t take a return call for days. I don’t wanna go with you while you drop a deuce or make water. Ever. That shit triggers me.

  218. Wake up, Cyn. Time to go home.

    http://imgur.com/gallery/hyQSzwQ

  219. I bought Ruffles instead of Wavy Lays. Worst Wife EVAR!!!

  220. You follow what I’m delicately trying to say, right?

    Did you forget where you are or something?

  221. FUCK THAT SHIT. OR NOT

  222. I’m halfway through the second season of “Life.” I don’t know if the show ever wrapped up the story lines, but I think Charlie’s ex-wife’s husband is one of the guys that set him up. I also think the FBI guy is one of the guys who set up Charlie. I also think the crappy love interest sub-plot they tried to develop between Reese and Donal Logue’s character sucks ass. I also think my critique is waaaaay the fuck untimely and completely irrelevant to anything.

  223. Our rental was inherited because the BDMF that we loaned $100k to buy it, lost his shit and walked away.
    It took us $25-30K to replace the tweeker damage (wiring/plumbing/furnace/cabinets, and a roof on a 30×50 shop.).
    We’re getting $1,075/month, out in the sticks in East Pierce County, WA.
    It is close to schools & shopping.
    We’ll have to rent for a couple years to break even, then try to unload it.
    We do NOT want to be land-lords!
    I suppose that if we had multiple properties and a PMC to deal with the tenants/maint-issues, it would be different.
    I don’t think that we feel well enough capitalized to do that.

    Pretty funny that there are hundreds of bank-owned foreclosures sitting around waiting to be stripped of wiring, plumbing, and appliances, while folks are building new spec-houses and they are selling fine. I’ve no idea what the banks are trying do do here.

    China is now buying a lot of foreclosures in the Seattle area and doing the same thing as Tushar.
    Clean-em up, hire a PMC, and rent them!

  224. I think this MD is not happy with Obamacare:

    http://proteinwisdom.com/?p=53144

    Not surprised…

  225. That Maher clip epitomizes the hypocrisy on the left that I find so irritating. What a bunch of douchebags. I thought Rick Lazio did okay, though – not great, but okay.

  226. ChrisP, from what I know about Florida market, banks are sitting on huge inventories in areas that are basically decent. They and Freddie/fannie don’t want to flood the market, because that will make the housing markets to tank further, causing more people to walk away. So, they are bringing in property onto the market in a trickle. If the banks were not doing this with Govt blessing, they would be dragged into court for collusion.

    So, anyhoo, there are about 10-15 other people i am regularly bidding against. They win some, I win some. I think I have an apettite for 6 maybe eight properties. I doubt prices will go up too much or rents will go down, but I am sensitive to bank’s inventory drying up, or interest rates going up.

  227. I miss the haiku threads and I H8 haiku. Too much math.

  228. Bcoch, are you saying I should take over the whole recurring gardening post duty? Because I can’t do that.

    I mean, if I didn’t have this Obamajob that kills me every weekend, I *could* ask Ace if it was okay for me to burn his super-nice weekend content-providing volunteers and take something away from them that they invented.

    There is a small chance he wouldn’t tell me I was a piece of crap for even asking. Small.

    But, even if he didn’t, that would be a not nice thing to do, to really nice people.

    I have been toying with another post idea though. An ‘Ask Laura’ feature. It has been suggested before but I never had the balls to think anybody would actually want my shitty advice.

    But I think if the advice is deliberately the most shitty possible, it could be funny.

  229. An “Ask Laura” column would be cool.

    “My husband is leaving me for his 19 year old Filipino boyfriend. What should I do?”

    “GROW A GARDEN!”

  230. Laura, go for it! It does not have to be a post where people ask in comments and you answer in comments.
    They can email, you choose 4 or 5 to reply to, write reaponses at your own pace, and put a post in draft. Ace/cobs can put it up when they want. Kinda of how advice columns work in magazines.

  231. Nail on the head, Tush.

  232. Sorry to hear about your husband Colorado Alex.

  233. Oh no, I would never suggest something like that. *cough* I’m not that big of a dick. *cough cough*

    >>>I have been toying with another post idea though. An ‘Ask Laura’ feature. It has been suggested before but I never had the balls to think anybody would actually want my shitty advice.
    But I think if the advice is deliberately the most shitty possible, it could be funny.

    I think that would be awesome. When would you do it? The weekend is packed full of all kinds of threads. And commenting is relatively slow. I’d hate for your thread to get short thrift.

  234. Kinda of how advice columns work in magazines.

    You mean make it all up?

  235. *Asks Laura* Who wins, the irresistible force or the immovable object?

    Show your work.

  236. Did anybody note that anybody else never has a second cup of coffee at home today?

  237. Lauraw used to own FIAF and the Friday Flame War. Just sayin’

  238. I don’t know. Maybe Fridays? That might be the best day for me, but not the best day for the blog.

    Need to run it by the ewok first, anyway. I’m rusty and it will probably suck at first.

  239. Hah!

  240. Oso, I’m still enough of a noob that I have no idea what that is/means.

  241. The day you work on it and the day it is put up on AoS don’t have to be the same. I predict that Ask Laura will become big.

  242. Padewan, hit the archives. All will be explained.

  243. You could practice here, laura. Our advice and suggestions would be GOLDEN!

  244. oso, your memory of things moron-related is very impressive.

  245. Tushar,
    I was kind of thinking that the banks were carrying these foreclosures on their books at face-value to cover-up their bad-loans, so as not to take a loss.
    If they tried to sell them, they would have a $550K loan getting sold for $250. If they did that 4-500 times, it might show on their books.
    It would make them look stupid, drop their stock, and trigger an investigation…

  246. Fridays are DEADSVILLE on the blog.

    *employs the irresistible force choke hold*

  247. I kind of liked when Ace was posting the archived anniversary threads, so people could see where some of the Moron memes come from. I’m all National League about cleaning out the blogs on the sidebar. I like knowing that Andrew Olmstead lives on in the sidebar at the HQ.

  248. We do need to defend Estonia from Putin since, after all, it invented Skype and, according to Phat (IIRC) has the best-looking women in the world..

    Late to this, but yeah, sure. I mean if you think white-blonde with excellent bone structure and a stunning figure is something to write home about.

    Seriously, I remember thinking “Wow, the guys here have it good. Really good”.

  249. Some of those were entertaining Oso, but he wouldn’t go big. No “Skankathon”, no “Dennis Miller Being Fucked By A Bear”, none of the really out there stuff he’s done in the past.

    That’s the stuff that kills me. The Greatest Hits.

  250. bcoch, you should’ve seen it in color. (Obscure Jamey Johnson song)

  251. Lippy, we are getting a pretty sizable Ukraine/Estonian population in Albuquerque. I can’t get over their skin. OMG. (Sizable for NM. Shut Up.)

  252. *tacklesnugs Lipstick*

  253. *blushes*

  254. Is there going to be a meetup this year?

  255. there should be

  256. I may be remembering wrong, but I thought Matthew Sheffield did a guest post at the HQ. I followed him to Newsbusters. Roundabout way of saying RIP Noel Sheppard.

  257. So what you’re saying is that Putin’s next target for invasion will be Albuquerque?

  258. Oso, you’re so right! Their skin is as if the sun has never hit it. Alabaster, but not creepily so, unmarred.

    Hitler would have loved them.

    I remember someone there telling me that they are mostly Finnish in origin.

  259. I mean if you think white-blonde with excellent bone structure and a stunning figure is something to write home about.

    Meh.

    *burps*

  260. TiFW, it is ridiculous. LOL. We were already invaded in the original Red Dawn. (Las Vegas, NM)

  261. There’s nothing wrong with Estonia that a healthy infusion of Obamacare and Sabado Gigante couldn’t cure.

  262. Lippy, exactly! I keep waiting for the high desert to dry them out and age them.

  263. Jazz, hahaha I H8 Sabado Gigante.

  264. Oso,
    You hit a nerve.
    When Andrew Olmstead put up his last post, it just broke my heart. Almost like when Lex died.
    I read him every day, just like I did with Lex.
    I miss those guys…

  265. You hear that?

    That’s the sound of someone frantically trying to piece together an ONT.

  266. RANT: Back in the day, the final week of Spring Training was when you got to see your team as it would be on Opening Day. Au contra ire mon frere. Now, we have Opening Day in Australia, LAST WEEK. (Stupid douchebags) and “Subway series” in select home venues. WTF are the Bats? Why are the stupid Dodgers playing the Angels and pulling their starters early? $$$$$$

  267. ChrisP, salud. I miss them, too.

  268. oso, we’ve had the Freeway Series right before Opening Day here at least since I was a kid. And the Dodgers probably pulled their starters early because they have the ESPN Opening Night (on American soil, anyway) game in San Diego tomorrow night.

  269. I remember someone there telling me that they are mostly Finnish in origin.

    My FOB had a large Czech detachment and some of the women were beautiful. I wanted to ask them if their ancestry was German or Russian.

  270. Sean, I remember when they’d pull the final exhibition to LV when the 51s were the Stars, and then again when the Dodgers were in LV. I still H8 that Opening Day was taken away from my Reds. Get off my lawn. When the Dodgers were in FL, I guess it was OK. Listening to the announcers talk about why Anaheim draws better in the Freeway Series than the Dodgers is meh. Meh! (Throws baseballs at the 50 yr old small world bobble heads at DL)

  271. Anyone else stalking one of their half-sisters on FB only to find out she recently married? (All apologies to Sean)

  272. Did she post the honeymoon sex video by accident yet?

  273. Nope. Just wedding pics and dog pics. Still kind of weird. We looked more alike when she was a baby.

  274. We may be getting a pomadachshund puppeh.

  275. Leon, SQUEEEEE!!!!!

  276. I laughed so hard at this that I felt dizzy.

  277. Video incoming.

  278. For anyone who wants a more graphical explanation:

  279. Leon, you know me. You really know me.

  280. Ugh. My Freakzilla has had GI issues this week.

  281. We all know that I’m too lazy/ignorant to post anything. Still think that between Jazz, Andy, MCPO, HS, and the rest we could come up something musicals.

  282. Leon, you know me. You really know me.

    I do? Have we met or something?

  283. Hey, it’s Earth Hour here at work!

    http://tinyurl.com/o47xo7q

  284. Heh, Sean. Going all Trace Adkins up in here!


  285. Puppeh.

  286. He’s about 4 weeks old.

  287. That puppy is adorable, Leon. ahhhhh.

  288. We will need many pics.

  289. AWWWWWW!!!! Puppeh!!!

  290. He is very cute and cuddly. I wasn’t kidding, his breath is like death.

  291. Name?

  292. He’s probably going to be named Benedict/Bennie.

  293. I love Papa Bene! Good choice!

  294. I love Lauraw’s shitty advice.

  295. I think you got some food in yer beard there, leon.

  296. Where did you get him?

  297. Leon, I misunderstood. I posted a pic, and you said video incoming, and then I posted video. I thought you were referring to my video.

    That puppy is awesome!

  298. No besos!!!!

  299. There was nothing in my beard but whiskey, that was the weird thing.

    We don’t have him yet, he needs another couple weeks to be weaned. A friend of Mrs. Caruthers owns the dachshund, and his GF’s pomeranian knocked her up a little while back. 4 pups, all male, look like mini yellow labs.

  300. I thought you were referring to my video.

    Perhaps I was doing… both.

    *nods mysteriously*

  301. Your dog’s cute, but he’s a drunk, leon. You know where to find me when he admits he needs help.

  302. awww,,, a BABY dog

  303. I will point him straight to you, Sean.

  304. Dachshunds need stimulation. High energy; stubborn. Take 2.

  305. Riley can be his sponsor.

  306. His dad’s name is Riley, amusingly enough.

  307. OMG Streams crossed!

  308. Bedtime. More pictures in a couple of weeks when he comes home.

  309. Yay!

  310. His dad’s name is Riley, amusingly enough.

    Sweet.

  311. Dave knows the joy of baby dogs.

    He will be sitting back and nodding.

  312. There’s nothing like the pure joy of picking up puppy crap off the carpet.

  313. Life is a series of tradeoffs, b-rad.

  314. There’s nothing like the pure joy of picking up puppy crap off the carpet.

    The joy of stepping on it in the middle of the night?

  315. Puppy pad trained fat doxies that poop for treats.

  316. Thank goodness Sox poops in a box.

  317. MaryAnn has been sick. Allergies. Dan bypassed St Francis and Prayed straight to the big guy.

  318. Blergh early day tomorrow. G’night.

  319. I get to go home on Tuesday.

    It will be so nice to finally be able to fap in my own room.

  320. Thanks for the visual, XB.

  321. Oh, you want pics?

    I don’t usually post them to Facechimp…

  322. Darren eagerly researched pathogens.

  323. That’s not very lyrical, Sean.

  324. Everybody must have slept in.

  325. Beats sleeping out I guess.

  326. Hey Mare, let’s limbo!

  327. Pupster, I hope the heartless person filming that last gif gave the smaller doggie a treat after this.

  328. It’s a good life lesson.

  329. Morning children.

  330. http://m.imgur.com/gallery/4okRMOL

  331. http://is.gd/vT8dO5

  332. Pupster, did you see the pomadachsund video?

  333. That hideous little beast might one day weigh as much as 6 lbs.

  334. I knew a girl who said “yinz”.

    She was from Moon, PA.

  335. Great, 55 mph winds predicted, dust advisory, no burning. No BBQ either, although who would want to BBQ in 50+ mph winds?

  336. It’s next to Mars.

  337. Tushar

    I don’t know what this exactly means, but it looks interesting

    http://m.imgur.com/r/india/Oaob72C

  338. Awwww..

    http://m.imgur.com/r/Putin/Dgx8tGf

  339. It’s time for Sump Pumpalooza!

  340. I knew a girl who said “yinz”.

    She was from Moon, PA.

    haha, Pittsburgh area. Near Beaver.

  341. G’Morning

  342. Morning, Cyn.

    I’m listening to Wiser’s radio show from yesterday.

  343. Morning, Lips.

    I’m scouring the interwebz for crap to poat.

  344. TJ, a brief primer on Indian political scene.

    Indian National Congress INC is the equiv of Democrats. They believe in leftism and Nepotism. After Nehru, his Daughter Indira Gandhi, her son Rajiv Gandhi, they are trying to make Rajiv’s son Rahul Gandhi the Prime Minister. He is about as qualified as Obama.

    BJP (Indian Peoples party) is the GOP equivalent. They believe in free markets and more freedom. They are also big on national security.

    The upstart AAP(Common Mans party) is the Tea Party equiv. Tea party is trying to reform GOP from within. AAP is fighting against both left and right parties at the same time.

    The photo you linked is from a clash between BJP and AAP. Someone threw a chair, and the guy standing below is trying to protect himself. But it looks like he is levitating the chair.

  345. Poat of Newness – go there.

  346. Nied’s pulp sci-fi link looks very cool. I loved that stuff when I was younger.

    I have a few sci-fi stories I’d like to find and read again. One was about a kid – 11 years old or so, maybe? – who wanted to be a starship navigator. He had a tremendous memory, and he clandestinely memorized this large book of interstellar navigational coordinates while serving as an interstellar cabin boy on a starship. When the ship’s navigator is killed and the navigational aids are destroyed (I don’t remember how), the kid is promoted to navigator based on his being the only one with the knowledge to get the ship home. It was a good story I’d like to read again, but I can’t remember its name – very frustrating.

  347. Tushar

    Thanks for explaining that rather complicated situation in India!
    I’m still stuck in the old Congress Party/Communist stuff from way back
    The Ghandis, again

    I think this reflects your take on the 2014 elections here as well:

    http://m.imgur.com/r/india/TaUrei7


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