Hi mates! You made it. It’s Friday, which means time to work all weekend. Thanks Licorice Dick!
I wrote this song way back in 1982. I was backstage with The Gap Band and Charlie Wilson looked at me and said, ‘Damn, son. It’s like you just dropped a bomb on me.’ I told him that the cowboy look was still cool, that he just needed to add a few more rhinestones to his outfit, and that he didn’t look gay at all. The rest is herstory.
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I can’t remember if today’s model has been posted, and neither can any of you, so lets give a huge gooey hand to Satinee (pronounced sah-TEEN) Capona!!!! She sports two 34G watt light bulbs and has only recently learned to suck in her gut and face the camera properly. I love the newbies (future hostage). So fresh and clean.
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Man, those are some bigguns. I’m not really sure what you’d do with ’em. It’s not like you plow the field, unless you had a gentleman’s sausage roughly the size of Andy’s bald head. It would just get lost in there.
Anywho, it’s time for the test! Please arrange yourselves according to your resemblance of Floyd’s balls.
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238 – Roman subjects in Africa revolt against Maximinus Thrax and elect Gordian I as emperor.
1799 – Napoleon Bonaparte captures Jaffa in Palestine and his troops proceed to kill more than 2,000 Albanian captives.
1850 – Senator Daniel Webster gives his “Seventh of March” speech endorsing the Compromise of 1850 in order to prevent a possible civil war.
1862 – American Civil War: Union forces defeat Confederate troops at the Pea Ridge in northwestern Arkansas.
1876 – Alexander Graham Bell is granted a patent for an invention he calls the telephone.
1912 – Roald Amundsen announces that his expedition had reached the South Pole on December 14, 1911.
1914 – Prince William of Wied arrives in Albania to begin his reign.
1950 – Cold War: The Soviet Union issues a statement denying that Klaus Fuchs served as a Soviet spy.
1965 – Bloody Sunday: A group of 600 civil rights marchers are forcefully broken up in Selma, Alabama.
1985 – The song “We Are the World” receives its international release.
2007 – The British House of Commons votes to make the upper chamber, the House of Lords, 100% erected.
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378 Comments
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Checking Your Mom's Drawers for Hope&Change since March 2009 
Best post ever.
heh
ISWYDT
I’m not clicking any links. I don’t want the bomb dropped on me.
Oh nice, MJ!
Satinee (pronounced sah-TEEN)
What genius thought up that abomination? One that didn’t know the rules of the English language, I’m guessing.
It’s as bad as the “L-A” stuff.
(ladasha)
Do you put your pinkie out, Jazz?
No – just my wang.
What bomb? All of these links are totally safe and in no way related to muppets.
This whole mixing languages things really gets to me, too, Carin. “Females eat tamales” should be pronounced “fuh-mollies eat tuh-mollies” or “fee-males eat tuh-males.”
Consistency is underrated.
I will have to wait to click things after I get back to the farm.
Does anyone else have two weeks to build a working prototype of an enterprise integration effort?
*charges two 80-hour weeks in advance*
Great job, MJ.
Power is back!
Perfectly straight road with 3′ high snowbanks and someone managed to take out a telephone pole.
Perfectly straight road with 3′ high snowbanks and someone managed to take out a telephone pole.
Alcohol is a hell of a drug.
Get ready to love your country just a little bit more, because this shit wouldn’t fly here:
http://news.nationalpost.com/2014/03/05/your-porn-is-not-canadian-enough-crtc-warns-erotica-channels/
‘Merica.
Victor Davis Hansen lights into Ronan Farrow like a flamethrower on a funeral pyre:
http://victorhanson.com/wordpress/?p=7086
http://news.nationalpost.com/2014/03/05/your-porn-is-not-canadian-enough-crtc-warns-erotica-channels/
Nobody wants to watch polite sex.
Every time the girl screams, the guy says he’s soory.
It’s Friday. I wonder what changes will be made to Obamacare?
*thud*
Comment by scott on March 7, 2014 9:36 am
Power is back!
Perfectly straight road with 3′ high snowbanks and someone managed to take out a telephone pole.
===========
Telephone pole? or power pole?
A liberal friend sent me this: http://www.rollingstone.com/politics/news/make-believe-maverick-20081016
I replied “I’m not reading 8 pages of Rolling Fucking Stone in order to learn that some asshole over there doesn’t like John McCain. We didn’t like him either.”
HAHA! Click this link from up there and then play the Gap Band tune. Synchronicity!
Also… not too shabby a BBF today, MJ, plus no link URLs. You will be killed last.
It’s Friday. I wonder what changes will be made to Obamacare?
Licorice Dick just exempted Muppets from the individual mandate.
She seems nice boobs.
Telephone pole? or power pole?
Out my way they’re the same pole.
HAHA! Click this link from up there and then play the Gap Band tune. Synchronicity!
Also… not too shabby a BBF today, MJ, plus no link URLs. You will be killed last.
————————–
I actually dug out the email and removed the links. I expect a nobel, oscar, or bj. Your choice.
Does anyone else have two weeks to build a working prototype of an enterprise integration effort?
Are you talking about actual EAI involving a rules-based engine of some sort?
“What a lineup!” Mr. Obama declared at the outset of a concert that featured a generations-spanning array of soul singers stretching from musical legends Aretha Franklin…
—
Mr. Obama paid tribute to Franklin for turning her signature song “Respect” into “a rallying cry for African-Americans…
—-
In addressing the crowd, Mr. Obama said, “When Aretha first told us what R-S-P-E-C-T meant to her…”
That George Bush is so stupid.
So, concert last night. QUick speech to grade-school kids today, then a WEEKEND AT OCEAN REEF.
Joe Biden will be spending the weekend in the Virgin Islands.
Tying together a bunch of data, role-based security, and user I/O for demonstration porpoises.
Key Largo is really nice. I hope they have a great time.
I like bitching about how much vacation they take, but we’re much safer when he’s on the links.
Nice model today. Muppet links later. Can you drink coffee and tea when you’re fasting?
for demonstration porpoises.
http://is.gd/gVeleW
Sounds like you’re working on an RFP. Are you a systems engineer?
Key Largo is really nice. I hope they have a great time.
I like bitching about how much vacation they take, but we’re much safer when he’s on the links.
Eh, no we’re not. He’s the same either way. Plus, my grandma is going to be stuck in her house for the next three days most likely. Ocean reef isn’t exactly the easiest place to get around. There is pretty much one path to many places. Those people will be screwed.
Systems and software, Michael. Coming back to this sort of thing (Big Data, analytics, business intelligence) after 3 years doing radar software work.
And we’re well past the RFP. This is being built for CDR.
I’ve actually been there, but only for a day.
She’ll be forced inside so LD can have fun. It’s really small.
The island, not LD. Well, that too.
I expect a nobel, oscar, or bj. Your choice.
Yes.
It doesn’t matter where JEF spends his time. The damage is done by his staff. He just rubber stamps what they write, or he reads it from a teleprompter.
Maybe he’ll get raped by a fucking alligator.
Hey now, I’m sure it’s enormous, it just can’t do anything useful. Just like his government.
I found Cyn’s mouse.
Good luck Leon. You guys are often the unsung heroes on a project like that, IMHO. Mostly because nobody really knows what the fuck you’re doing. 🙂
If he gets attacked by a giant swimming rabbit we’ll know we’ve come full circle.
Thanks. I’m less than sanguine that we can meet the schedule the smarter folks have conceded, but at least they extracted overtime $$ at the same time.
I saw Less Than Sanguine open for Flock of Seagulls no wait no I did not.
One thing I did not miss, is all the retarded Apache project names and the absurd amount of overlap.
Hadoop, Oozie, Pig, ZooKeeper, Flume, Sqoop… are you 5?
GET OFF MY LAWN!
’ve actually been there, but only for a day.
She’ll be forced inside so LD can have fun. It’s really small.
The island, not LD. Well, that too.
Well, there are two golf courses, tennis courts, and all sorts of other things. Snorkeling trips, fishing boats, scuba diving trips. Ocean Kayaking. Hobycats. The beach area is amazing. I don’t doubt they will have to partake, but that will entail everyone else staying home.
Oh, and what does LD stand for?
Licorice dick.
Oh right.
Gross
Nice model today. Muppet links later. Can you drink coffee and tea when you’re fasting?
I read that the first time as fisting.
A) you fuckers are slowly perverting me.
B) it’s still a legit question that way.
A) you fuckers are slowly perverting me.
Yea …. right …
Because when you were new here, you were as pure as the wind driven snow.
@@
Coffee and tea are typically permitted while fasting for religious reasons.
Dinner: http://www.everydaymaven.com/2013/paleo-salmon-cakes/
Going to use rice flour in place of the almond.
You probably can drink them while fisting, but I suspect you’re more likely to spill.
We call them telephone poles here, a lot of them are owned by the phone company.
Gross.
Gross.
Fisting or fried fish biscuits?
Fisting is a scam.
But prolapse is all too real. Ask Anderson Cooper.
No.
We call them telephone poles here, a lot of them are owned by the phone company.
Not a salmon fan. Might try it with tuna or crab if you’re review is positive.
I have sent one of these to Elijah Cummings.
I’m sure those would work. Cod is really cheap right now, so I might try that next. I’ll let you know.
Might also try making some horseradish sauce with the roots I harvested.
I have sent one of these to Lois Lerner.
http://bit.ly/1kCKaYr
Car in doesn’t live in NY. What the hell, George?
I thought Car in had the big purple ones.
You know what they say about black.
I like to call that rubber paperweight “The Fifth Amendment.”
Black is the new Sean.
I prefer the Fifth Element.
Comment by Cyn on March 7, 2014 12:32 pm
You know what they say about black.
Goth girls are hawt.
Do goths still exist? I haven’t seen on in awhile, wasn’t sure if it had sort of died off or been replaced with whateverthehell Ke$ha is.
Okay, I know this has to be someone here on this blog.
http://www.craigslist.org/about/best/chi/4206407056.html
This week’s crackfat “open” is exactly why I didn’t sign up. This goes on for six weeks. One workout a week is judged, scored, with your score for everyone to see /laugh at.
Last week,I scored poorly because when I try to do /work on double unders, I pee my pants. This week? Chest to bar. I can’t do ONE.
you’re supposed to do over 10 overhead squats and then chest to bar, every three minuets, increasing the # of repetitions by 2 each time
I don’t know what half of that crap even means, Car in.
The heck is a chest to bar? Is that what you do before MJ hands you a cocktail?
Also, you might want to include kegels in your WODs until the pee thing improves.
Chest to bar—>http://breakingmuscle.com/video/video-body-position-and-mobility-in-the-chest-to-bar-pull-up
^ he could be featured in HHD. I just want to see the full tattoo.
CHest to bar is more of a gymnastic thing.
It’s the next step to muscle ups after you get chest to bar.
You must be ripped with all of this crackfat shit.
That’s a SLAP tear waiting to happen. No thanks.
^ he could be featured in HHD.
Confirmed.
Plus, that accent oooooyeaaaahhhh.
You must be ripped with all of this crackfat shit.
You did read the part where I said I couldn’t do them? I do jumping pull-ups, or use what is basically a huge rubber band to assist. I try to work myself as hard as I can do approximate the exercise as best as I am able.
But there are certain things I just can’t do.
Confirmed.
I found his loose, white shirt distracting though, cyn, didn’t you? I couldn’t really see the proper positioning/alignment. He should have just taken the darn thing off.
It is interesting, though, because for the women – some of the strongest aren’t what I’d say are the fittest. Since crackfat favors strength, though, they usually score better than me. Plus, they’re 20 years younger, but whatever.
There are a few girls who are REALLY fit there, of course, but strength – in women – doesn’t always result in fit.
some of the strongest aren’t what I’d say are the fittest.
————————–
This is totally true. One of the guys that first got me into triathlons told me to watch out for fatties. I had no concept of this, but it really slams home when I giant, spandex clad beast runs past you like you’re standing still.
Not all strong athletes look like it.
Ha haaa haaa …right. There are a few girls like this at crackfat.
He had on a white shirt you say.
Hunh.
Yes, it was white. And loose. And offensive.
Yeah – those guys that toss cabers in the Highland Games aren’t exactly what you’d call “svelte” –
Same thing with horses – a “workhorse” in the truest sense of the word (e.g. a Clydesdale) doesn’t have the sleek lines of a thoroughbred that competes in the Kentucky Derby.
Both horses are “fit”.
Today’s chick resembles Valerie Bertinelli in the face a little bit. Eddie VH probably needs to marry this chick for a while. Compare and Contrast.
Theresa, Highland Games have no weight classes, and the weights to be lifted are all fixed. There will never be a small-ish leading competitor in them.
Similar concept applies here:
http://wife-carrying.org/
http://wife-carrying.org/
Is there a Financial Division?
Same thing with horses – a “workhorse” in the truest sense of the word (e.g. a Clydesdale) doesn’t have the sleek lines of a thoroughbred that competes in the Kentucky Derby.
Both horses are “fit”.
I saw this in the Army. The guys who could ace the APFT weren’t necessarily the guys you wanted hauling the 240B up a mountainside. On the other hand, a lot of the workhorses that could go forever had to be taped every single time because they weren’t willing to starve themselves to make weight.
Similar concept applies here:
http://wife-carrying.org/
Unless you want to go to court there had better be same sex marriages here.
New Yorkers like Mayor de Blasio — they just don’t think he’s all that hot at his job, according to a poll released Thursday.
Just over a third of registered city voters — 39% — say de Blasio has done a “good” or “excellent” job, the survey…
More voters — 57% — disapprove, rating his performance either “fair” or “poor.”
Damn. How the hell did that guy become mayor? It’s a real mystery.
I think it’s time we, here, starting rspecting the POTUS.
What do you guys say?
That’s a grt idea.
He was reading form a prompter.
I’ll be really disappointed if the person who loads the words into the prompter for LD’s last speech doesn’t put, ‘Fuck you, San Diego,’ at the end of it.
Owning comments.
I’m mare. Really, I am.
5
I’m powerpoint engineering or I’d be commented more.
Where IS Mare, anyway?
Highland Games have no weight classes, and the weights to be lifted are all fixed. There will never be a small-ish leading competitor in them.
Yep.
Those “World’s Strongest Man” competitions don’t have any Pajama Boys making it into the finals, either.
Same can be said for NFL lineman, pipefitters, longshoremen, etc. Petite flowers need not apply.
Hah! Serendipity. Weird.
The best pipe fitters are my size. They can fit in tight spaces.
*whistles, just leaves this comment right here
I guess that wasn’t the term I was looking for, then – whatever you call the guys who wrestle those big pieces of pipe around all day long.
And no, I’m not talking about gay porn stars 😛
Finally caved and went to the Dr.
Labyrinthitis. I was like, Cool, I always wanted to meet David Bowie.
“When Aretha first told us what R-S-P-E-C-T meant to her…” Obama said, prompting laughter from the crowd.
The president’s face betrayed that he had misspelled the anthem, but he did not stop to correct himself…
—
But anyone reading the official transcript of the event provided by the White House would have had no idea of the president’s mistake. In that version, the president correctly spells out the word.
There is no skin in the world thinner than on Licorice Dick.
Speaking of gay porn, does anyone else think that the alphabet networks highlighting the Drag show on the military base might finally have been a bridge too far, even for them (the networks), in terms of what their viewers/readers will put up with?
I mean, it’s one thing to say, “OK, let gays in the military” – it’s quite another to see stuff like that highlighted in a group that most people associate with keeping our country safe.
It’s quite embarrassing, actually.
There is no skin in the world thinner than on Licorice Dick.
So he’s not a muslim after all?
Never even heard of that, Laura –
I don’t give a shit what the military does anymore. It’s already ruined by all of the PC bullshit.
Just give everyone a Bronze Star and call it good.
Labyrinthitis. I was like, Cool, I always wanted to meet David Bowie.
————————–
Hahahaha.
Chronic anxiety is a common side effect of labyrinthitis which can produce tremors, heart palpitations, panic attacks, derealization and depression.
Shit status, real. Take care of yourself LW.
Speaking of gay porn, does anyone else think that the alphabet networks highlighting the Drag show on the military base might finally have been a bridge too far, even for them (the networks), in terms of what their viewers/readers will put up with?
Unfortunately no. The left has long pushed the idea that not only should gays be treated equally, but any and every form of devient sexual behavior should be embraced and celebrated. Too many Americans are happy to follow along and can’t see anything wrong with incorporating radical gay culture to the military. In fact, many of those on the far left will think it’s a net positive, since military culture is some icky hetero-normative bastion of rapists or something.
Aw, thanks for the concern, sugarpuppy. I’m miles away from that bad neighborhood, though. Sudafed already seeming to help.
*starts writing eulogy for lauraw.
She was a good soul.
And she liked to garden. The end.
Comment by MJ on March 7, 2014 4:07 pm
*starts writing eulogy for lauraw.
Will there be a Missing Monkey flyover?
Well that was quick. But I think you got it all in.
oh hah.
*waits*
Now that Scott and I are single we’re going to pick up chicks.
Then what?
I’m actually not sure. I haven’t picked up a chick in about 12 years.
I think you get them drunk, which makes them more ardent.
How did you get Hotbride? Aside from the threats to her family and wearing a George Clooney mask.
She heard about me and came over.
Now that Scott and I are single we’re going to pick up chicks.
MJ will get them drunk and Scott will pack up their bodies and ship them home.
MJ will get them drunk and Scott will pack up their bodies and ship them home.
———————
I thought he was going to smoke them.
>> Labyrinthitis.
Whut?
That’s probably ok. The bad diseases are the ones they name after you.
That sounds like a new code that makes the doctor more money under Obamacare.
http://wiki.answers.com/Q/What_is_Dave%27s_Disease
Now that Scott and I are single we’re going to pick up chicks.
I haven’t asked him, because I never thought of it before, but I don’t think Scott has ever actually ‘gone out to pick up chicks’ before. I certainly cannot imagine him ever trying it, especially now, with my signature written in indelible sharpie on his forehead.
>> Labyrinthitis.
Women who contract illnesses that starting with “lab” and ending with -itis should not be kissed head or nethers.
I certainly cannot imagine him ever trying it, especially now, with my signature written in indelible sharpie on his forehead.
I thought you had him branded.
Well, that was in a different spot.
Problem solved.
http://is.gd/VS0rMx
Finders keepers isn’t always a win:
http://fxn.ws/O3sjvw
I wish John McCain would just go away. He’s a senile old coot, and we’re done with him.
L to R: Lauraw, Scott
Juan Williams gets something right for a change:
http://fxn.ws/1gYEiD8
Williams speaks clearly and passionately in his indictment. Credit where credit is due.
I love that Mr. Microphone commercial. It’s still funny after 30 years.
John McCain has possibly the worst dental work of anyone living or dead. Are we sure he’s not British, leftover from the Revolution?
Is Bob Dole still alive?
Yes!
Holy shit. Bob Dole is still alive.
So is Abe Vigoda.
Did anyone check on Jeff Goldblum?
Greetings, people who have to call Janet “Miss Jackson.”
Jeff Goldblum is some kind of weird secret crush I’ve had since adolescence. He used to be so appealing to me. I guess still is.
Up here still working on this pain in the ass oil well
Getting ready to acidize it in a couple of minutes
Jeff Goldblum was on a Top Gear episode. He’s just like all of the characters he plays in movies. Neurotic geek that is likable.
Can’t drive worth a shit, though.
If I were ever somehow single again (only possible through unspeakable tragedy) I wouldn’t be for long.
I’m charming ‘n’ shit.
Ted Kennedy: still sober.
I can’t believe you’re NOT single.
I tried to double the recipe, and I ended up having enough salmon cake batter that frying it as biscuits seemed stupidly time consuming so I’m baking it as a couple of loaves.
Loaves of fishes. I win at bible references that I’m going to eat.
ZOMG! Check out the date–This is from the future@!!11!
http://en.mediamass.net/people/jeff-goldblum/deathhoax.html
I can’t believe you’re NOT single.
You’re a dude, you can’t understand my appeal to the wimmens.
This made me LOLOL in my thong skort
I guess I missed the thing where I was supposed to think that Jeff Goldblum was dead. Dang, I guess.
Afternoon.
Today I built two (2) of these:
http://tinyurl.com/kwjuw2l
I saw Brittany Murphy in a movie this morning and was sad. She was a decent actress, and very pretty. Damn shame.
I know what you mean, leon. King of the Hill can be a little bittersweet now because of that.
I think Rick Perry’s Glasses can win in 2016.
I just told the older boy he’ll be shooting hoops in our driveway by the end of the month when I drove him to a school dance.
Got home and checked the forecast: 8 to 13″ of snow on Thor’s Day. Never ending winter.
Today I built two (2) of these:
http://tinyurl.com/kwjuw2l
But did you have fun?
Rik Perry’s Glasses/John Bolton’s Mustache 2016!
I had a little fun.
Then you won!
Rik Perry’s Glasses/John Bolton’s Mustache 2016!
I’m in.
I’m worried that Bolton’s Mustache may be to neocon to win the ’16 electorate, but I’m not sure I entirely trust Paul’s Frizzy Hair, either.
OTOH, I’m all in for Jindal’s Swarthy Complexion.
Fun.
Won.
Wheee!
OTOH, I’m all in for Jindal’s Swarthy Complexion.
Scares the hell outta me.
Serious question here, but why has this been labeled not safe for work??
Booty.
She’s wearing a bikini fer crying out loud.
Could you look at the SI Swimsuit issue at work?
I’m not sure I’d feel safe talking about looking at the SI Swimsuit issue at work.
Depends on where you work.
Could you look at the SI Swimsuit issue at work?
No, and I work in my dining room, mostly.
If you worked at Sports Illustrated, for example, it would be weird if you didn’t look at the Swimsuit Issue.
Darrell Issa flashes his punani
http://bit.ly/1cIYrdP
We’ve fired people for what’s in their browser history.
But then again, you can’t imagine the corruption of the contracting business in Chicago, New Orleans, NY, NJ, etc.
Takes the fifth.
No, and I work in my dining room, mostly.
Poor lighting, probably. You should talk to Tushar about some better bulbs.
But then again, you can’t imagine the corruption of the contracting business in Chicago, New Orleans, NY, NJ, etc.
Actually, I can’t imagine any of those places being above-board.
Takes the fifth.
Doing the “Lois Lerner”
Poor lighting, probably. You should talk to Tushar about some better bulbs.
Not unless there are snacks, too. Regular sugary stuff, not air biscuits and tubers.
No idea if this is true
No idea if this is true
I’d buy it. If that’s not the Mrs, his mistress is at least that hot.
Interesting perspective on Ukraine by Henry Kissinger
http://www.washingtonpost.com/opinions/henry-kissinger-to-settle-the-ukraine-crisis-start-at-the-end/2014/03/05/46dad868-a496-11e3-8466-d34c451760b9_story.html
Salmon loaf was pretty good.
>> Could you look at the SI Swimsuit issue at work?
Sure if I worked in a strip club.*
* I used this example to gross out all the dudes
Comment by leoncaruthers on March 7, 2014 6:36 pm
If I were ever somehow single again (only possible through unspeakable tragedy) I wouldn’t be for long.
I’m charming ‘n’ shit.
Modest, too.
Chicks dig that.
LOVE Rick Perry.
HATE the glasses.
Salmon loaf was pretty good.
Leon, I wish I’d seen that recipe Wednesday. I made salmon croquettes with breadcrumbs like Mom’s recipe called for. Tonight was cioppino, and it was awesome.
Rick Perry’s glasses are actually X-Ray Specs from an ad in the back of a comic book.
Modest, too.
Chicks dig that.
Life has taught me otherwise. They want swagger.
http://imgur.com/gallery/ZpIw6WC
http://imgur.com/gallery/ZpIw6WC
Some people just don’t follow appropriate rodeo etiquette.
Did anybody complain to anybody else about how their internet connection kept crapping out tod
Did anybody complain to anybody else about how their internet connection kept crapping out tod
Yes.
Dude, I think Amanda Marcotte really commented at Ace’s.
She wants his penis.
She wants his penis.
Why? Is there something wrong with hers?
Why? Is there something wrong with hers?
*slow clap*
Hahahahahaha, good one, Sean.
http://www.craigslist.org/about/best/bos/4344804413.html
Thanks, guys, you’re a great audience.
*loosens tie*
Seriously, though–I wouldn’t fuck Amanda Marcotte with Amanda Marcotte’s dick.
It looks and sounds like the real Marcotte. Not many can pull off the vagina clownsuit, and she isn’t one of them.
*sproing*
Someone linked a pic of Marcotte’s dick earlier in a Craigslist ad.
going with Pupster’s sproing theme
When would you place these ads?
I’m thinking early ’60s.
What would happen to a company that did this today?
It wouldn’t be pretty…
http://tinyurl.com/p9fsbs8
Evening Hostages. Piss anyone off today?
“Don’t worry, darling, you didn’t burn the beer!”
HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAH
And my house is finally rented!
Evening Hostages. Piss anyone off today?
————————-
Nah. You’re mom was grinning from ear to ear.
Comment by bcochran81 on March 7, 2014 9:39 pm
Evening Hostages. Piss anyone off today?
Just myself. I left my woobie at work. Can you go get it for me?
>>>Nah. You’re mom was grinning from ear to ear.
I wondered what that was about.
>>>Just myself. I left my woobie at work. Can you go get it for me?
Are you going to cry and guilt trip me too?
That pyrex ad is kind of suggestive.
Your.
Thanks HS.
FFS.
That’s twice today.
Howdy, y’all.
You’re mom was grinning from ear to ear.
Your mom was disappointed in the grade you got in English. You’re in danger of losing her rspect.
We had a clothes dryer heist tonight.
A minivan without plates pulled up to the front door and two guys wearing ski masks got out. They walked in the front doors, picked up a dryer and off they went.
Evening Oso.
That’s pretty fucking bizarre scott. And ballsy.
Who steals a dryer?
I’d steal wood pellets.
Most crooks pay cash for appliances.
Inside job.
bcoch, the Polynesian has 2 of my favorite restaurants.
We had a clothes dryer heist tonight.
———————
Was it a Crimea dryer?
What Sean said. Someone that knows AP stop rules and camera technology.
>>>bcoch, the Polynesian has 2 of my favorite restaurants.
I would love to try them. However, I almost passed out just paying for the rooms. The rooms have a mini fridge in them. We’re taking food with us.
Someone here had a story about a bad New Years eve. It involved a fight, some douchebag friends, and the police.
Who the hell was that?
>>>Who the hell was that?
Mare.
Someone here had a story about a bad New Years eve. It involved a fight, some douchebag friends, and the police.
Who the hell was that?
—————–
Mare.
I had $4000 in my drawer today. I H8 that. I kept calling for a skim, but accounting couldn’t get a manager to walk with her.
I think that was Jazz.
I had $4000 in my drawers once.
ONCE
Wait, Jazz’s story wasn’t in Winter.
Reenacting Indecent Proposal by yourself with Monopoly money doesn’t count, DiT.
CoAlex has the story, but I thought it was Thanksgiving.
Someone here had a story about a bad New Years eve. It involved a fight, some douchebag friends, and the police.
Who the hell was that?
Amadou Diallo.
(Too soon?)
I am pretty sure the AM post is a sock puppet, but the funny thing is, it could be her.
I mean, when Scott Brown was running for senate she got Teh Vapors that a “Cosmo Model” could be a senator. Then a doctor gets dismissed by Scott Walker for posing in her thongs, it is all about the misogyny.
She uses “misogyny” the way Michael Mann uses “Climate Change”; i.e. everything is evidence of it
I get really nervous when I have lots of cash in my register. Dan left Payless after having a gun exposed on Christmas Eve over a crappy pair of Payless work boots. A few months later, at a neighboring Chinese restaurant, the owner’s wife was killed over $34 in the register.
Mostly off-topic, but my beef guy offered to take payment in Bitcoin.
I get really nervous when I have lots of cash in my register. Dan left Payless after having a gun exposed on Christmas Eve over a crappy pair of Payless work boots. A few months later, at a neighboring Chinese restaurant, the owner’s wife was killed over $34 in the register.
———————————
$34. Why no $35?
I denounce myself.
I had a student that was arrested for shoplifting two 12 paks of beer from a convenience mart. He ran into the plainclothes cop coming into the AM/PM door.
MJ, exactly. Turned out to be a gang initiation. She was dead no matter how much money was in the till. Kind of like my cousin. She was dead, no matter what.
Someone here had a story about a bad New Years eve. It involved a fight, some douchebag friends, and the police.
Who the hell was that?
Was it me talking about my really awful Thanksgiving 2012?
Well, that was a massive midair explosion at the HQ. Nice work by a commenter. Accused someone of being an incestuous pervert. He accused the wrong person.
Which thread, bcoch? I haven’t caught up at the HQ today.
It’s the International Women’s Day thread. And he’s already apologized.
MJ, exactly. Turned out to be a gang initiation. She was dead no matter how much money was in the till. Kind of like my cousin. She was dead, no matter what.
———————————————–
All of that sounds terrible. I was just trying to be funny.
http://is.gd/hDGCKn
It was funny. I’m supposed to hit certain goals. One is 22% TDs. Me: Why not 23%?
It was funny. I’m supposed to hit certain goals. One is 22% TDs. Me: Why not 23%?
——————————
Are you sure you’re not mare?
Slap took it better than I would have CA. Way better.
The amount of cash in the register doesn’t matter.
Crackheads think all registers have millions of dollars in them.
>>>Are you sure you’re not mare?
I thought you were Mare….
MareJ?
I think there is a little Mare in all of us…
Damn viruses!
“I think there is a little Mare in all of us…”
No, that’s Elvis.
I wasn’t the one with the story. I don’t have any douchebag friends.
Heh.
I am mareJ?
The movie is coming out in 2016. It looks like this:
http://is.gd/L9dZnx
>> Reenacting Indecent Proposal by yourself with Monopoly money doesn’t count, DiT.
Fuck if it don’t
Bullwhips?
Leon, I see that you are into Hadoop. A close friend of mine is writing the next book on Hadoop. And I am reviewing it!
Grokety grok
So, the killer that plead got 13 yrs. Credited for the 3 that were served trying to figure out the “charged as adult” and separating the trials from the other girl. She’ll be out of prison by the time she’s 25.
Tushar, I still haven’t decided if I’m “into Hadoop”. I’m working with it for at least the next 6-12 months. Thus far I’m indifferent to it as a tool. I’m not sure I like the kind of work that using it is going to entail, but it pays well. I’m hoping my mild antipathy will be an asset and allow me to remain dispassionate when “build or buy?” decisions are being made.
I may change my tune when I finally get to write some code rather than blindly sketching out prototype designs.
Nevertheless, point me to the book when it’s published. Assuming you decide it’s readworthy.
I have reviewed the first few chapters, and it is shaping up good. This friend of mine is the top Hadoop expert in Washington DC area. He has this weird itch for studying and acquiring degrees. He did Electrical Engineering, a Post Grad diploma in CS, an MBA majoring in Finance, and a few years back went ahead and got a masters in Mathematics. I encourage him to once in a while study more interesting things like boobs and booze. Even taught him to shoot a handgun.
Why are you working with hadoop when we wave haboob?
See, if the dork who started this thing had had the wherewithal to name it Haboob, I’d be on top of it without hesitation.
Haboob!
If you get the chance to watch the Jason Statham movie “Redemption,” don’t. Gawd, it sucked. Super super super bad.
*starts Open Source project
*names it HawtBooty
Well, the backstory is: the guy who created has a son who was a wee toddler at the time, and had a stuffed toy elephant. The boy named the elephant Hadoop for some reason. Dad liked the name and named his new software Hadoop. So now you are gonna blame a little boy for not naming his toy haboob.
Jason Statham is consistent. One acceptable movie for every 3-4 stinkers.
Teenage boys are LOUD. blergy blergy.
Remember, hadoop spelled backward is “poodah”
Jason Statham: Still better than Clooney.
I honestly don’t know why I finished it, Tushar. I should have walked away.
So now you are gonna blame a little boy for not naming his toy haboob.
Yes. To do otherwise would be to treat him unfairly based on his age.
Also his dad could have fudged some consonants.
*releases HawtBooty 0.77: Bangin’ Badonk
Jason Statham: Still better than Clooney.
So true.
so, in the header pic, what’s all the brown stuff flying in the air, and from whence does it originate?
I’m afraid it’s flying fecal matter, which in some games would be trump, but… well… yeah.
HawtBooty will only have Alpha releases, because Betas don’t get the fine wimmens.
That’s some well-developed software you’ve got there.
It’s pretty amazing. It’s a high-throughput user-configurable categorizing engine that allows your Python code to function on the Haunch framework for maximum content delivery in narrow partitions.
That was silly, I should go to bed.
My first college roommate listened to The Gap Band NON-STOP!!!! My second roommate listened to MJs Thriller NON-STOP!!!!
>>>It’s pretty amazing. It’s a high-throughput user-configurable categorizing engine that allows your Python code to function on the Haunch framework for maximum content delivery in narrow partitions.
Uh huh. Does that thing come turbo charged?
Somebody mentioned this story on facechimp. I’d never heard of it before. Fucking crazy.
http://www.e-reading.bz/chapter.php/72065/7/Barker_-_Books_Of_Blood_Vol_1.html
Had a roomie that loved Barker. She was weird.
There was a GF of one my buds in the Army that listened to Brian Adams endlessly
Bryan Adams is my guilty pleasure.
One of my freshman year roommates listened to Rush whenever he studied. I didn’t spend a whole lot of time in there.
I re-watched Kingpin. Today, I helped a Vietnamese lady with a fake hand. I’m totally on the Hell Express. I couldn’t stop looking at it. It was like the SNL Doll Hands skit. The skin tone was way off. I have a really hard time not talking to people with the accent that they talk to me. Bad day all around. But funny.
Dan and I had to come up with Country as our compromise music. He hates my “Cock Rock” and I H8 his U2/ELO/Eagles light weight music.
“Cock Rock”?
Pre-big hair bands.
Picked up an extra shift tomorrow. Early. Too early. G’night.
Hi. Did I miss anything gross?
*wanders down empty blog, kicking tin can*
See Jazz at 11:35 and 11:38 pm, Eric.
heh
It’s not that bad. comparatively
You should have said, “See header pic,” Sean.
I’m hungry. I’m either gonna go find tacos or a burger
Can’t you feel it
Now that derp has come?
That it’s time to live in the
Scattered sun
Morning, children.
Further proof that there is no justice in the world.
TL;DR David Thorn’s epic email exchanges may be real.
Bizarre, Pupster. I can’t believe it’s the same guy.
OK, no, not the same guy. Hoax.
http://www.27bslash6.com/p2p.html
Oh. OK. Thanks LW. How’s your balance today?
Rite of Election today. Going to Detroit in awful, awful weather.
I take that back, it could be much worse. It’s pleasantly warm.
Mornin Leon. Nice weather here too in oh hi oh. Gonna get the lawn tractor out of storage and see if I can nurse it through another season.
>> Thanks LW. How’s your balance today?
OH I forgot, I looked that up. I’ve had that before and it sucks.
I CAN’T WAIT ANY LONGER
You’re going to mow!?
Departure time.
Much better, Pupster, thanks! Which is good because I’m going to the Chinese circus today. My Mom really wanted to go so I took the day off to be with her. I’m thinking of selling my sister while there. Hope I can get a good price. Don’t tell Mom.
Me: OK, that was fun, let’s go home.
Mom: Where’s your sister?
Me: She’s going home a different way.
Mom: But she came with us.
Me: You know she never really loved you, right? Here’s your coat.
Me: I won’t settle for less than $XX,XXX.
Chinese Flesh Merchant: Deal.
Me: Shit.
Mom: This is ridiculous. We need to find your sister.
Me: OK, we can look. Fine.
Mom: Something is wrong. I’m your mother, I can feel these things.
Me: It’s true. I’m upset.
Mom: So help me God, you better tel–
Me: *deep breath* Mom, I really, really, really need a new car.
What’s the Chinese circus? Like Cirque?
Does she do housework?
Wait until they do the balancing chair act. Your mom won’t be able to take her eyes off of it.
Then barter fast. Maybe you could get a Peking duck and a bag of marbles.
If your sister is non-compliant, you can restrain her with Chinese finger cuffs. Her new friends should know how to get the cuffs off.
OK, just kidding. It’s not the circus. That’s just what I told Mom so she wouldn’t object to going to SlaveCon.
Laura is the only person I know who keeps zip ties in her back pocket wherever she goes.
Laura is the only person I know who keeps zip ties in her back pocket wherever she goes.
Whistles innocently….
wakey wakey
Just kiddign, I’ve been up since 6. Had an early morning soccer excursion. now i get to work a double.
Guy at work a while back: “You don’t REALLY work double shifts. It’s not as if you work two 8-hour shifts.”
Me: “you’re completely right. It’s not two 8-hour shifts. It’s just one, long, completely uninterrupted 10-12 hour shift on my feet, constantly, without a break to eat or even go to the bathroom. You got me on that one.”
I’m such a slacker.
(actually, now that I think about it – that was on fucking mother’s day last year)
the guy actually took me to task because I wasn’t working a “double” on mother’s day. He was so evil, his wife made him stop. Then he gave me a shitty tip.
asshole
I was as pleasant as pie to him. I think he was trying to get me to complain, and I refused to do it. I actually was at a loss for words when he started in.
He started in by asking me how my day was. I said it was fine, but then he started baiting me -in a really weird way – about working on Mother’s day.
I wish I could go to people’s work and be a complete asshole to them back.
You can, but you might get arrested.
Scott, did the guys with ski masks look like this?
I may have a lead.
You can, but you might get arrested.
Why? They are assholes at my work and don’t get arrested.
What if I found out they worked at some local shop and I just went in and was rude, dismissive and insulting to them? Where’s the crime?
Then he would know he got your goat. Which was probably the purpose anyway. You were good to hide it so well.
Can’t you just spit in their food?
Problem solved.
Dave has answers to all of life’s dilemmas.
Although a pocketful of zip ties + a pillowcase with five doorknobs in it are still helpful for many contingencies.
http://gifsound.com/?gif=i.imgur.com/amNUPl6.gif&v=LvmKlZGTTU4&s=27
Are you ready to ROO!?
I SAID, are you READY to ROO?!?
THOSE ABOUT TO ROO, WE SALUTE YOU!
Oh no…two people on that lost flight were using stolen passports
Damn Amish!
It’s always the Amish.
What if I found out they worked at some local shop and I just went in and was rude, dismissive and insulting to them?
You’re assuming everyone works in a similar establishment to yours – a place that is open to the public. If your asshole customers are employed in places that are not generally open to the public, you’d risk trespass (and perhaps more, depending on how much of an asshole you were back to them). If they were service/retail employees, though, you’d just be another problem customer.
So none of you have the gumption to erect a new post?
Do I have to send Cialis through the intertubes?
New poat you say??
I wish I could go to people’s work and be a complete asshole to them back.
Clearly your lost calling is politics.
I just did one but I see that MJ is working on one now too.
Hmmmmm.
Just poat already!
Make. Me.
Oh snap.
Push it down Cyn!!!!!!
Looks like MJ got the Cialis.
I bet yours is better.
Hmm. Let me see what the muppet hath wrought.
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