MMM 111: Surely some of these angels fell from Heaven

Weekend’s over, and thank goodness. I thought that would never end! Finally, I can get back to work and feel productive again. I know you’re all excited too.

Here, I made you this, you look like you need it.
cupojoe

I don’t know what sport she’s geared up for, but I’m a fan.
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Did y’all hear Hermione’s over 18 now? You still shouldn’t look.
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I persist in my opinion that these are more about weight distribution than strength.
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Do people still get bellybutton rings?
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If you squint, you can see Dave in the background treading water.
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Winter is still here — which sucks — but I’m always up for Christmas.
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I miss warm Summer days.
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This has an associated sound effect. That sound effect is “daaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaamn”.
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Again, warm Summer days, how I pine for thee.
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Now y’all get going on the week ahead. It won’t wait, and it’s going to get started even if you’re dawdling. Don’t let it get ahead of you.

402 Comments

  1. Good morning all!

    Warm summer days (both) win in my book.

  2. Burgers and broccoli for breakfast.

  3. Morning, children. Thanks, Leon.

  4. Don’t let it get ahead of you.

    I’m so far behind, I think I’m first.

  5. Today is the day I start filing complaints with the Illinois medical disciplinary board against my sister’s psych team and the psychiatric institute at which she obtained treatment. Gonna be a lot of sad doctors soon.

  6. HAHAHA Oliver Stone thinks Obama is PoS.

    http://bredred.com/if-oliver-stone-hadnt-burned-his-final-obama-buddy-bridge-this-statement-just-lit-the-match/

  7. I persist in my opinion that these are more about weight distribution than strength.

    So, you’re saying you can’t do them?

    wakey wakey

  8. Smoking Cigars By A Mountain Of Napalm

    the reality is that the world is on fire right now. In some places, like Ukraine or Thailand, quite literally.

    In many others (like Japan, China, and much of southern Europe), there are heaps of smoldering embers beneath a continent-wide funeral pyre.

    And in the Land of the Free, it’s as if politicians and central bankers are smoking their back-room cigars at the foot of a mountain of napalm and thermite that grows ever-higher by the day.

    If you step back and look at the big picture, there is cause for concern.

    For one, the tiniest elite has achieved record wealth thanks to the endless money printing of central bankers. The richest 300 people in the world alone addded $524 billion to their fortunes in 2013, while billions of other people across the planet pay higher prices for food and fuel.

    This gap between rich and poor has grown to its widest since the Great Depression… and I would argue in many ways since the feudal system.

    Obviously this isn’t a tirade against wealth, but rather the massively disproportionate benefits realized by a tiny elite at the expense of everyone else. And it exists because there is no separation between Bank and State.

    http://www.zerohedge.com/news/2014-02-22/smoking-cigars-mountain-napalm

    I don’t do in for this class warfare/envy stuff, but the point about Bank and State? I’m pretty in on that.

  9. CNN canceling J. Peirspont M(outh)organ’s show. FINALLY.

    http://nyti.ms/1o0oUsv

  10. G’morn, Carin! Did you ever get your comment submitted at the wood stove place?

    And, did you hear wiser say on his show the other day that Michigan is trying to outlaw burning wood in private residences? I think maybe he was misquoting the proposed EPA rules. BUT, if he wasn’t – what am I missing? Do you know of this? Do I have to go chase this down? I’m being kinda lazy about it, but I actually can go look stuff up iffin’ you don’t know.

  11. Good luck today Jazz.

  12. Brent, this is simple – no luck involved. I don’t even have to get to the subjective stuff. There’s an objective breach of governing Illinois statutory law – the psych unit never identified a substitute person of authority from whom to acquire consent to treat during my sister’s incapacity. Even if nothing else were to stick, that one’s gonna burn the whole damn place. ;-)

  13. But, thank you!

  14. Alec Baldwin rants about poor treatment from the media in relation to his poisonous rants and self-inflicted mayhem.

    heheheheheh He’s a melodramatic bitch.

  15. Oops – linky: http://www.vulture.com/2014/02/alec-baldwin-good-bye-public-life.html

  16. Jazz, I have more time to submit, and I want to know more about what stoves will be available and the cost.

  17. Today is the day I start filing complaints with the Illinois medical disciplinary board

    Give ’em hell, Jazz!

  18. What seems simple to normal people like you or I, *points at national debt*, can sometimes go awry when you involve others.

    How about I wish you happy hunting instead?

  19. Are you having trouble buying a wood stove Car in? I think I missed something.

  20. How about I wish you happy hunting instead?

    Awwww, yeah! :D Screw shooting fish in a barrel: I’m gonna shoot a hole in the bottom of the barrel with one shot, drain the damn thing, and pick up ALL the fish, easy peasy. :D

  21. I almost feel like buying a couple to have on reserve. They’re pricey enough that I’d feel pretty stupid if nothing happens with the regulations though.

  22. Give ‘em hell, Jazz!

    I can’t wait for the director of the institute (who was my sister’s primary treating doctor after she transferred to the psych unit and who is a VP of the hospital) gets notified of her complaint. The very serious doctor is going to have to be very serious defending a very serious complaint. Heh.

    It pays to be good at your job, and it pays to not be a scrunt. “Very serious” has its drawbacks.

  23. You’re in Maine, Jimbro – you can unload them easy, I’d imagine!

  24. I’ll just bet she’ll be able to pass the blame, Jazz. It always seems to work out that way.

  25. US Army may shrink to smallest size since BEFORE WWII

    * Proposed change may include scheduled drop of troops from 570,000 post-9/11 to between 440,000 and 450,000

    * Would be the smallest army since 1940

    * Budget cuts could mean higher casualties and a longer time for success if the US army had to handle two military campaigns at the same time again

    * Also expected are reduced housing allowances, increased health-care premiums, and limited pay raises

    http://dailym.ai/1o0rUVS

  26. US Army may shrink to smallest size since BEFORE WWII

    Carter and Clinton tried that too. Really did wonders for morale!

  27. Comment by Jazz on February 24, 2014 8:35 am

    US Army may shrink to smallest size since BEFORE WWII

    It’s going to take another Kasserine Pass for people to realize the stupidity of what is going on.

  28. I’ll just bet she’ll be able to pass the blame, Jazz. It always seems to work out that way.

    She is listed as the primary treating physician on my sister’s records, and I sent an email to her informing her that I was to be the contact person and the person from whom to obtain consent. I did that intentionally, suspecting that I’d need to file complaints like this. I pigeon-holed her. She may or may not squirm out of it, but I put her in a fecking TIGHT place. She’s gonna sweat.

    BTW, I don’t think she’s gonna be able to pass this off.

  29. Parents’ fear as mysterious polio-like illness paralyzes Californian children with NO hope of improvement: 25 kids taken ill so far

    A mysterious illness doctors are comparing to polio has struck down up to 25 children in California, leaving them with paralyzed limbs and a bad prognosis.

    Medical experts have identified the illness in Californian children over the course of a year.

    The children, aged between two and 16, all suffered paralysis of the arms or legs and some experienced respiratory difficulties.

    All the children had been vaccinated against polio.

    Polio once paralyzed up to 20,000 people a year in the U.S. until the vaccine was introduced in 1955.

    ‘What’s we’re seeing now is bad. The best case scenario is complete loss of one limb, the worst is all four limbs, with respiratory insufficiency as well. It’s like the old polio,’ Keith Van Haren, a pediatric neurologist at Lucile Packard Children’s Hospital in Palo Alto, California, told USA Today.

    http://dailym.ai/1o0snHo

  30. So, you’re saying you can’t do them?

    I can lift my whole weight easily with one leg, balanced on one foot. My anthropometry is such that I cannot do this with a leg in front of me. I simply do not move that way. I cannot do chin-ups to my sternum, either, because of the relative lengths of my upper and lower arms, nothing to do with weak rhomboids.

  31. Who needs academic freedom or freedom of thought? Liberals know everything!

    If this Harvard University student got her way, free speech on campus would be abolished and professors with dissenting views fired, because radical leftism is the only permissible political philosophy and the First Amendment is a barrier preventing modern colleges from fulfilling their proper role as indoctrination camps.

    Her name is Sandra Korn. She is a senior at Harvard and columnist for the Harvard Crimson.

    In a recent column, Korn unambiguously insisted that the university should stop guaranteeing professors and students the right to hold controversial views and pursue research that challenges liberalism.

    http://bit.ly/1o0sEu5

  32. That polio-like illness report scared the bejeebus out of me Jazz. I read it on Drudge last night but haven’t seen any CDC reports yet.

  33. Two chicks in the MMM. Refreshing!

    Also, g’morning.

  34. Drug Rationing for Seniors Begins

    Buried beneath the avalanche of recent news reports about the latest Obamacare-mandated funding cuts to the Medicare Advantage (MA) program is a related but far more disturbing story — the Centers for Medicare and Medicaid Services (CMS) has taken a major step toward rationing medications to the elderly. Since passage of the Medicare Modernization Act of 2003, seniors enrolled in the Medicare prescription drug program have been guaranteed access to “all or substantially all” of the drugs in several classes of pharmaceuticals. President Obama’s health care bureaucrats, however, have proposed removing three of these classes from the “protected” list.

    The New York Times reports, “The administration’s proposal would remove the protected status from… immunosuppressant drugs used in transplant patients, antidepressants and antipsychotic medicines.”

    http://bit.ly/1o0terI

  35. Well, pretty much everyone can easily lift their whole body weight with one leg. or they’d fall over while walking.

    The pistol is balance and strength and range/control of the hip, ankle and knee throughout the movement.

  36. It looks like a lot of these men and women prefer the completely bare-down-there look.

    Some of them are barely covering their hoo haws.

    *gets the vapors

  37. That polio-like illness report scared the bejeebus out of me Jazz.

    I wonder what gives rise to it and why it’s confined to Clownifornia so far? Lifestyle choices, i.e., diet, maybe? Or, something acquired from ticks or wildlife? Sounds really odd, but there has to be some common connection among the victims of this malady.

  38. So, what did I miss this weekend?

    I work a double today, so be concise and quick. I’ve got laundry to do before I go.

  39. Purity or Strategy: The Debate We Need To Have

    http://bit.ly/1o0u0VK

    Pretty good observations.

  40. Well, pretty much everyone can easily lift their whole body weight with one leg. or they’d fall over while walking.

    Walking is nothing like what I described; “lift” != “hold”, you know better. I have a 30″ inseam, I put one foot on a 30″ box, and I can lift everything and then some with just the one foot, then lower it under control, either leg. If I have to put my other leg in front of me, it cannot go high enough to allow me to fully descend. It’s not a question of strength, my leg simply will not go higher and permit me to reach the floor position of the pistol. My hip flexor is fully contracted, my non-squatting leg is as high as it will go, and I can’t reach the floor without the other leg touching it.

  41. The pistol is balance and strength and range/control of the hip, ankle and knee throughout the movement.

    The pistol is a circus trick, just like the side press, and no one was doing them until Pavel put out a few books. It’s a communist plot.

  42. Well, that’s why some people do them on a box.

  43. So, one of my facebook friends is SO very annoying. All weekend she was posting this BS about the Canadian Hockey team (she’s always bashing the US, but she’s really too stupid to engage). So … this is what I put up this morning (at the urging of some other friends who were really annoyed with her “Canada – WORLD DOMINATION” silly stuff)

    I’d like to congratulate the “Canadian” hockey team for winning that Gold in Sochi. Today, 22 of it’s 26 players return to America play on their various US hockey teams. In addition, the team’s head coach returns to Detroit’s beloved Red Wings.

    WELCOME BACK!!!! Good job.

  44. I would not do them on a box.

    I would not do them with a fox.

  45. Circus trick.

  46. Canada: outsourcing its national pride to America since inception.

  47. That’s great Car in!

  48. I would not do them on a box.

    I would not do them with a fox.

    I would not do them with chicken pox

    I would not do them eating bagel and lox

  49. Maybe you should try yoga, or Zumba, Leon.

  50. Handstands are a circus trick too. Lots of movements are circus tricks. Doesn’t mean they don’t have value.

  51. We had burgers for breakfast too.

    Well, mine was technically lunch.

    Back to work.

  52. Circus tricks help you sell flowers at the airport.

  53. I’m thinking about joining crackfat full-time.

  54. Circus tricks help you sell flowers at the airport.

    So does a bald head and tract literature. ;-)

  55. I don’t find handstands very functional. If I’m unintentionally ass over teakettle, I’m already going to die.

  56. You should also look into coal burning stoves.

    The idiots at the EPA will probably overlook those.

    – Back to work

    chop chop

  57. I’m thinking about joining crackfat full-time.

    This was already telegraphed by your enthusiasm for circus tricks.

  58. Actually, it’s the diversity – circus tricks – that makes it fun. One day we did cartwheels. That will work your abs. It was silly and fun.

    I like that it sometimes feels like play. It most often doesn’t. But handstands are fun. Cartwheels are fun.

    Deadlifts are fun too.

  59. Heh – I’ve been waiting for my sausages to cook. Sloooow going – until I realized I turned on the wrong burner (electric stove). Oops.

  60. Indirect heat, a well established cooking technique.

  61. I get my playtime with land management.

  62. Indirect heat, a well established cooking technique.

    *slow golf clap

    Well played!

  63. Jazz, when I turn on the wrong burner, it’s ALWAYS the one with the bowl on it.

    Every. Single. Time.

    *boom! glass everywhere

  64. My mom melted a lot of tupperware like that.

  65. I much, much prefer gas stoves.

  66. *slow golf clap

    Well played!

    Seconded. Outstanding! :D

  67. I get my playtime with land management.

    I do that too. But cartwheels are silly. I’m just happy to still be able to do silly at 46,

  68. I prefer cannonballs off the dock at Magician Lake, but to each their own.

    I practice my ukemi a lot, too. Lots of tumbling.

  69. L to R

    CARin, Leon

  70. I did a cartwheel at Christmas, scared the crap out of the nieces and nephews.

  71. John Jacob Dingell-berry Dick is retiring after 58 years in the House

    http://www.detroitnews.com/article/20140224/POLITICS02/302240051

    Finally

  72. Darnit, Pupster’s link is blocked.

  73. I should run for Dingell’s seat. Pretty sure I’m in his district.

  74. You’ll have to compete with his wife. God forbid that Dingell fade to black.

  75. A ham sandwich could beat Debbie Dingell in a debate.

    Sadly, the ham sandwich doesn’t have UAW backing, so it will lose nonetheless.

  76. Good morning, holes of ass.

  77. How is Pogo, X?

  78. Dropped some prayers for your mom at Mass this morning, xbrad. She’s still in the rotation. :-) Hoping things continue to improve.

  79. Thanks guys. Sis says last night passed without any major problems. Just more of the same.

  80. Glad to hear, xbrad.

    And BTW, holes of ass was funny.

  81. Dang. I’d already checked the box for February. Shoulda saved that for next month.

  82. Xbrad, I hope once you get her out of the hospital and home, you have better luck with her than we’re having with my grandfather.

    The docs told him over and over again that there were two things he absolutely must do to help prevent all the fluid retention and swelling that started this mess….elevate his legs as often as possible and wear those compression socks.

    Wanna guess what he’s balking at doing?

  83. He’s going to need help getting those socks on B.

    My dad had to wear them after his heart surgery, I helped him put them on, he could get them off with mom’s help.

  84. Mom is usually a fairly compliant patient. It was convincing her to simply tell anyone she was sick that was the problem.

  85. Anyway, it was embarrassing for him and they are uncomfortable and he wasn’t going to ask for help, but the doctor pulled me aside and told me to do it everyday until he could do it himself, and even then, make sure he was wearing them every day.

  86. Looks like I’ve got the place to myself.

    *launches into special rendition of singing in the rain*

  87. Pupster, yeah, he has help getting them on. He just won’t keep them on.

  88. “I’m not going to be carried out feet first,” says Dingell, who will be 88 in July. “I don’t want people to say I stayed too long.”

    ———————————-

    He’s right. 30 tens as a congressman would have been a little garish.

    29 terms is just right.

  89. Parents’ fear as mysterious polio-like illness paralyzes Californian children with NO hope of improvement: 25 kids taken ill so far

    It says they were vaccinated against polio……but were they? There was something I read this past week that said most vaccines or ingredients to vaccines are made in China. There have been cases linked to them where people have died due to contaminated vaccines or vaccines didn’t have what they said they had.

  90. Vaccines are a scam.

    So is Jenny McCarthy.

    Alec Baldwin, too.

    I think that’s it for today.

  91. McCarthy has a nice set of cans though.

    Apply a little duct tape and I’m sure she’s just fine.

  92. The ironic thing is that Dingell inherited the seat in 1955 from his father, who had it since 1933 – in the landslide of FDR’s first election
    So that’s a total of 81 years of Suck

    Dingell was a House Page in 1941 and was on the floor when FDR made his Day of Infamy speech and Congress voted for War

  93. John Jacob Dingell-berry Dick is retiring after 58 years in the House

    Another rat jumping ship. They finally accomplished what they set out to do – f*ck it all up, leftist-style – and then retire comfortably.

  94. My bet is that the polio “vaccine” those kids got was saline solution and mercury.

  95. Dingell had exactly one redeeming trait. A+ from the NRA.

    On everything else he was effectively a Soviet mole.

  96. Harold Ramis died. No Ghostbusters 3.

  97. Maybe his ghost will be in it.

  98. I may end up skipping the gym today. Had a non-work meeting at my usual time and I don’t know if I’m going to get to make it up later.

  99. Debra Grace say, “Time for school, Daddy!”

  100. Sounds like Mr. Ramis is in a much better place – he had a terribly debilitating disease:

    http://abcnews.go.com/Entertainment/ghostbusters-star-writer-harold-ramis-dies-69/story?id=22651174

  101. Chief, that little moppet gets cuter and cuter by the day! ♥♥♥

  102. She’s in, what, 4th grade now, right Chief?

  103. No, I think she’s a senior at Michigan.

  104. Me too.

    Skipping the gym I mean.

  105. I went and got my haircut “fixed” as best I could. The guy who fixed it asked if the original barber was drunk and blindfolded.

  106. My bet is that the polio “vaccine” those kids got was saline solution and mercury.

    Concur.

  107. Skipping the gym I mean.

    Well if you’re going to skip it, that means I have to go.

    To shame you.

  108. Debra Grace say, “Time for school, Daddy!”

    http://farm4.staticflickr.com/3827/12751891043_d022e4b8e6_o.jpg

    Squeeeee! Cutiepatootie!

  109. Two weeks from now I’ll be sitting in a boat on Lake LBJ, listening to a bunch of friends talk shit to each other, hoping like hell that the fish leave my line alone, eating pork rinds and drinking my fifth or sixth beer of the day. Can’t fuckin’ wait.

  110. Lake LBJ…Long Blow job?

  111. Cyn – Fills my heart whenever I gaze at her.

  112. To shame you.

  113. I assumed that the hospitals where those kids were tested their blood to see if they had antibodies to polio (which is why they said they had been vaccinated). Also assumed that they had tested negative for polio.

    I’ve slept since I read the article, though, so I could be mistaken.

  114. Oh, and hot flashes suck.

    In case anyone was wondering.

  115. DG?

    OMGSQUEE!

  116. Well, of course, if you have no shame, my shame-based attacks will fail.

  117. A Slight Case of Bastardy
    The curious and irregular conception of Obamacare

    http://tws.io/1cgZa5W

    Nothing you don’t already know, but a good read nonetheless.

  118. TiFW, there are two things that would give you polio antibodies.

    One of them is polio.

  119. The other is Twix.

  120. Dingell is a cunt.

  121. Dingell is a cunt.

    What do you think of his wife?

  122. I know nothing about her. Eight decades of DIngells is enough.

  123. What do you think of his wife?

    I’ve heard her interviewed by Frank Beckman on WJR.

    She’s the dick to his cunt.

  124. Dicks, Pussy, Assholes. The lot of ’em.

  125. I thought the only way we were ever going to get rid of that bumbling old fucker is if he keeled over on the house floor. I’d still like to see it.

  126. Teresa, I had assumed the parents confirmed they were vaccinated as babies.

  127. Yeah, I had assumed they were basing that on vaccination records.

    The other possibility is that there’s a sudden, entirely new disease that presents exactly like polio that isn’t polio.

    William of Ockham says that it’s polio and the vaccines were bullshit.

  128. Remember this?
    http://www.nytimes.com/2014/02/15/world/asia/medicines-made-in-india-set-off-safety-worries.html?ref=health&_r=1

    “The crucial ingredients for nearly all antibiotics, steroids and many other lifesaving drugs are now made exclusively in China.”

    Also binged around for manufacturers of polio vaccines. France popped up and so did India. Hmm..

  129. I’d be interested in knowing if these kids are from undocumented parents. Just watched a report that said it’s definitely not polio because they were said to have been vaccinated for the disease. Um. Okay.

    If I were them, I’d trace where these kids were vaccinated and then from where those vaccines originated…along with testing others who may have been vaccinated with the same batch.

  130. Beasn, I’d be surprised if CDC and other epidemiologists weren’t already working along those lines.

  131. Even the best vaccines aren’t 100%.

  132. Via Insty:

    If corporations can’t have religious beliefs, then it follows that they can’t believe in climate change, sustainable investment or any other beliefs embraced by the corporate social responsibility movement.

    http://calcorporatelaw.com/2014/02/44-law-professors-make-a-case-against-corporate-social-responsibility/

  133. The US aborts that number of kids every twelve minutes.

  134. I spent all day yesterday cleaning, polishing, and restringing my guitar, as well as disassembling, cleaning, polishing, reassembling and stringing my two banjos.

    My fucking hands and fingers are killing me.

  135. Now I can’t play. :(

  136. It’s okay, I can’t either.

  137. Hotspur – I’ll assume steel strings vice nylon.

  138. Bummer, Hotspur. I’d love to hear you pick sometime.

  139. If corporations can’t have religious beliefs, then it follows that they can’t believe in climate change, sustainable investment or any other beliefs embraced by the corporate social responsibility movement.

    http://bit.ly/1cIItna

  140. Too slow, Jazz!

  141. All steel.

    The wound strings on the guitar are steel with phosphor bronze winding.

    The wound string on the banjos are steel with stainless steel winding. After getting them on, I found that I prefer the sound of the bronze type. But I’ll change them in a couple months.

  142. How often do stringed instruments need restringing? Never played one, so I honestly don’t have a clue.

  143. It depends on how often you play.

    Some people change every week. Some go a few months.

    It also depends on how much your hands sweat.

  144. Good job, xbrad. hahahahahahahah

  145. Comment by beasn on February 24, 2014 3:18 pm
    I’d be interested in knowing if these kids are from undocumented parents.

    I was wondering the same thing myself. Lots of those folks just don’t bother to get their kids vaccinated, but I’ll bet when asked they say that they have been.

    Interesting that we haven’t seen the moms and dads on any TV news reports

  146. Depends on the instrument and how often it’s played. For the most common guitar and bass strings (roundwounds on E-A-D-G), it’s usually dirt that works in that kills the string.

    I play at least 5-6 hours a week and I restring my bass about every 6 months.

  147. My fucking hands and fingers are killing me.

    So is my arm. From a needle jab. Very, very, cranky am I.

    I found I could sleep by bringing my hand up to my chest SYWM.

  148. Pupster would dig this – fearless dogs in Alaska chase away great big bears.

  149. For Hotspur: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=LaxhVVwBAuw

    I wanna talk bluegrass with you sometime, Hotspur.

  150. How long has it been since you got that shot, Beasn? It seems odd that it is still hurting.

  151. Nice choice, Jazz.

    This song has been in my ear all day:

  152. Beasn, if you saw my post about the B12 shot, that pain lasted over two weeks. I hope yours doesn’t.

  153. Today Show cast appears without makeup. Dear gawd, they do magic with some of those folks, notably Kathie Lee and Savannananananananah Guthrie. Matt Lauer looks like he drives a pedovan.

    http://dailym.ai/1cINEU7

  154. Yikes.

  155. I’m always encouraged when the wealthy and elite disavow their privilege to take responsibility for their misdeeds.

    Bobby Kennedy exclusively told The Post that his sister should be found not guilty of driving under the influence because she’s a human-rights activist whose life-saving work would be severely curbed if she was sidelined by jail.

    http://bit.ly/1cIRxII

  156. Beasn would have been better off getting the flu.

  157. beasn, are you sure she didn’t break the needle off when she was done?

  158. Beasn, if you saw my post about the B12 shot, that pain lasted over two weeks. I hope yours doesn’t.
    —————————-
    Did they give it to you in your mangina or your taint?

    Wimp!

  159. Happy Birthday Abe!

    http://www.abevigoda.com/

  160. Seems like I remember getting a flu shot once a long time ago. That sucker hurt for like a year!

  161. Did they give it to you in your mangina or your taint?

    I assume that’s rhetorical.

  162. It caused his first perirectal abscess. Ahhh, the memories!

  163. Uh-oh

    “These emails are unlawfully left under their sole control, subject to selective or even wholesale destruction, by people who chose to move or leave some of their government work off-line,” Horner said. “From ‘Richard Windsor’ and Lisa Jackson’s Verizon account to every regional administrator we’ve looked into, this pattern raises serious questions whether the entire regulatory record of Obama’s EPA is legally defective.”

    http://bit.ly/1fjJij1

  164. Bobby Kennedy exclusively told The Post that his sister should be found not guilty of driving under the influence because she’s a human-rights activist whose life-saving work would be severely curbed if she was sidelined by jail.

    Generational Curses. The inability to handle alcohol responsibly as well as the assumption that the rules don’t apply. At times it makes me feel somewhat Bolshevickky.

  165. Hotspur, it’s been over 3 weeks.

    Scott, if it’s as bad a flu as they say, I’m really not in the mood to cough up green chunks. Normally I just suck it up and deal. Since I’ve been off dairy, the green crap stays to a minimum….though I can’t shake this sinus thing because it’s so flippin’ dry in this house.

    Jay and MJ, start running.

  166. Last time I got the flu, it was 12 years ago. I felt I was due.

    Now I don’t have to get another for another 12.

  167. Beasn we bought a humidifier this year, one with a humidistat.

    Huge difference. Sinus and skin issues are gone.

  168. Greetings, people who are still wondering about #’s 4-6.

    (They were born dudes.)

  169. A few weeks ago Texas hospitals were full of flu patients – it’s been easing up here and in other parts of the country – primarily because of the cold weather (people staying home, kids home from school)

  170. Best $100 we have spent in a long time.

  171. Afternoon.

  172. So long as my arm doesn’t do this, I’ll be okay. MJ, you especially need to see this.

    http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=yqXNwFh0ZM8&t=0m13s

  173. scott, what kind? I bought a little one by Vicks and it was defective. It helped a smidge.

    Can’t find a vaporizer – sold out where I’ve looked.

  174. Today I built one (1) of these:

    http://tinyurl.com/l7hddu7

  175. http://www.lowes.com/pd_121408-12934-MA0800_0__?productId=1125803&Ntt=essick+humidifier&pl=1&currentURL=%3FNtt%3Dessick%2Bhumidifier&facetInfo=

    We are very happy with it. It works by evaporation, it’s basically a wick and a fan. You just need the stuff to treat the water so mold doesn’t grow.

  176. So long as my arm doesn’t do this, I’ll be okay.

    *projectile vomiting*

    Why, beasn? WHHHHYYYYYYYY???!!!

    *resumes vomiting*

  177. Draining pus feels good. Doesn’t always smell good. Looks like they got more than they bargained for in that one. Gown, double gloves and a face mask would be handy. Suction too.

  178. My winter skin issues went away when I started eating a lot more fat.

    Standing rib roast is at 122F, margarita is at… much lower than that.

    Dinner will soon follow, then more worky worky.

  179. *does not click beasnlink*

  180. Jimbro, I have no doubt that person felt SOOOoooo much better afterwards. I suspect there had to be a quart or so of goo in there.

    I could never be a doctor confronted with something like that. I’d be barfing along with that back.

  181. DOG: Play with me! Come on! Hey! Hey! Hey! Let’s PLAYY!

    CAT: I have no idea what this pathetic asshole is doing.

  182. Sorry sean. I have a worry my arm will swell up and fall off. Then a facechimp friend posted that and now I have another worry.

  183. Awww, poor doggeh! And the cat is such a little squirt.

  184. I’m not a fan of sled dogs but that’s a beautiful, well behaved doggy.

  185. **stabs Beasn in the face with a dirty tattoo needle**

  186. Sorry sean. I have a worry my arm will swell up and fall off. Then a facechimp friend posted that and now I have another worry.

    I understand that when we are worried or in pain, we sometimes lash out at the very people who love us, but DAYUM.

  187. In case you peoples don’t know, Decorah eagle momma has laid her first egg of the season.

    Here’s the link to the eaglecam. Best reality show EVAR. (worries they were off the egg too long at noon).

    http://www.ustream.tv/decoraheagles

  188. **stabs Beasn in the face with a dirty tattoo needle**

    Hey, the person who needs stabbing is the fatty who allowed that thing to fester for so long. Who waits until they have a gallon of pus built up?
    Seriously, the doctor shoulda told them they were SoL and to go attach a vacuum hose.

  189. My winter skin issues went away when I started eating a lot more fat.

    Two of my coworkers were complaining about skin issues. One guy had a split thumb.

    Me: You need oil and fat to feed your skin. Put a drizzle of olive oil on your food before you eat. Eat the fat on your steaks and the skin on the chicken.

    Them: *stared at me like I was nuts*

    A hundred years ago people would understand the wisdom of this advice, but we are so much smarter now.

  190. “Who waits until they have a gallon of pus built up?”

    It will go away.
    It will go away.

  191. 2 fish oil caps in the morning helps me. I notice dry skin without it.

    http://www.newchapter.com/fish-oil/wholemega

    So far no fish burps

  192. The wood stove made our air incredibly dry.

    I still have scars on my arms from last winter.

  193. Ah, that tattoo infection video wasn’t so bad until he started rooting around inside the wound with his finger. What was that all about? Was that all rotten flesh?

  194. Shit, Jimbro, HotBrude tried those on me a few years ago, then in the middle of the morning it would be like WTF.

  195. It will go away.

    Or while it’s still a small pocket of yuck, you can apply heat and try to drain it yourself.

    When we got ingrown toenails as kids, my mom would soak our feet in what felt like boiling water and salt. When it was soft enough, she’d pry the corner out and drain the pain IYKWIMAITYD. Then iodine or alcohol it.

    With Obamacare, one must remember the old ways to try and survive.

  196. As I understand it, a sack forms around the infection. If you don’t remove the sack the infection just returns.

  197. Coconut oil and fish oil cure all ills.

    I conquer fishburp by taking mine at night so I burp in my sleep, if at all.

  198. we used to keep a pot of water on the wood stove. Had to fill it over and over again, in addition to the humidifier.

    Wood heat is dry.

  199. That’s a cyst, Hotspur. I’ve had those, too. And yes, the only way to get rid of them is minor surgery.

    Or a fingernail clipper.

  200. Chinese mercury keeps the burps to a minimum.

  201. If you get dry cracked fingers and thumbs get Watkins Petro Carbo Salve. That shit is a miracle.

  202. Or you could get a humidifier and plug it in.

  203. But if you work out in dry cold conditions where you have to remove your gloves a lot, a humidifier at home won’t cut it.

  204. I like to plunge my hands into a whole mackerel and walk around wearing them.

    Smooooooth skin I tell ya!

  205. My favorite pus-buster video is from a few years ago. Some kid filmed himself popping his golf-ball sized zit. Then, the vid picks up again a few days later, and he’s got these “zits” all over his body. He had a staph infection, and when he drained the first one, he caused the infection to spread.

    One of my co-workers got cellulitis from popping a zit. He ended up hospitalized for a week.That was bad juju.

  206. I’ve had bad luck with a couple of brands of fish oil with wicked burps and fishy reflux. This brand seems to work okay for me. Leon, I agree with you, fish oil, coconut oil and olive oil are good things.

  207. What brand, Doc?

  208. I saw Pus Buster open for QOTSA.

  209. What you need is a Balsam Specific.

  210. >> Ah, that tattoo infection video wasn’t so bad until he started rooting around inside the wound with his finger. What was that all about? Was that all rotten flesh?

    Okay, I can skip that video.

    *barfs*

  211. I saw Pus Buster open for QOTSA.

    That was a great tour. Those tickets were so hard to get.

  212. http://www.newchapter.com/fish-oil/wholemega

    I take 2 but you can try 1 to see how you tolerate it. I’m sure Hotbride’s store carries it or she’s heard of the brand.

  213. I use the Sundown brand Meijer carries, bought in the bigass jar. Keep it in the refrigerator! Fish oil goes rancid at room temp, and the cold minimizes the burp potential.

  214. Wholemega? HA HA HA HA

    Megawhole!……………………………………………..or YOUR MOM!

  215. This is a great product. Person who works in a surgeon’s office recommended it (surgeon uses it). Concentrated. A little goes a long way.
    I do not get dry cracked hands and it smooves out my dry heels tremendously.

    http://www.neutrogena.com/product/hand+cream.do?sortby=ourPicks

  216. Mega Ho

  217. >>>Ah, that tattoo infection video wasn’t so bad until he started rooting around inside the wound with his finger. What was that all about? Was that all rotten flesh?

    WTF? I’m not even scrolling up further to try and find that link.

  218. I know people who use Bag Balm for bad skin. I tried it, but I don’t like how it feels. I guess if you’ve got raw teats, though, it might work pretty well.

  219. Vanicream for skin and Corn Huskers for hands. 12% humidity today. I love my humidifier.

  220. Jazz, my FiL is a Bag Balm guy.

  221. I’m just guessing he was trying to dig out more pockets of infection.

    Or he was giggling and said “ok get a close up of this shit here”

  222. Try Vagisil Jazz. On your hands.

    Works wonders. Rosetta told me.

  223. Didn’t Peej like posting that nasty back zit video?

  224. Mix up some ammonia and some bleach. You will never complain about dry skin again.

  225. Vagisil Jazz Hands.

    hmmm,

  226. This is kind of funny:

    http://tinyurl.com/l4d3jgx

  227. http://tinyurl.com/nafzsth

  228. Some good news on the Pogo (mom) front. She was able to stand for a bit today (with a helper) and may move from MICU to the sub-ICU unit tomorrow.

  229. Put this on it:

  230. Sometimes my lifting shirt irritates my teats. I should get some bag balm.

  231. Forward progress!

  232. Great news, XB.

  233. Surprise, mothafuka

  234. Good news, xbrad. You’ll have a sammich in no time.

  235. Gold Bond Ultimate Healing Foot Cream – works on hands, too. You can order it online, but I’ve only found it a couple of places.

    The Healing Foot Cream is the only one that works for me – it has urea as its (2nd) main ingredient.

  236. Hooray, XBrad! Way to go, Pogo ♥♥♥

  237. Handling money is really drying on the hands. Not nearly as bad as cardboard though.

  238. Excellent, xbrad. Great news!

  239. Well, I’ve got a full day of lying, cheating, and stealing tomorrow, so I’mma go to bed. Y’all have a good night.

  240. glad to hear that xb

  241. http://tinyurl.com/nyb3v34

  242. If anyone is interested (4.9 stars, 50 reviews):

    http://www.drugstore.com/gold-bond-healing-foot-therapy-cream/qxp203928

  243. Glad to hear your mom is doing better, b-rad.

    You guys got anything that works on hooves? I’m asking for a friend.

  244. Cysts are gross. Surgeon who took care of my butt cyst, was the same guy that cut the tumor away from my MiLs thyroid. Dan’s cyst and his skin cancer were on the same side of his neck. Totes ruined my Frankenstein bolt removal joke.

  245. This thread is hard to take, right after a meal

    Blechhh

  246. You guys got anything that works on hooves? I’m asking for a friend.

    If you actually want to know, I can ask the missus. We’ve dealt with all manner of hoof issues.

  247. I came for the dick jokes but stayed for the pus removal.

  248. TJ, chipped beef for dinner?

    http://tinyurl.com/krg8ff7

  249. Good news XBrad.

    Link for Leon:

    http://fitgirlsohyeah.tumblr.com/

  250. Jimbro
    Thanks a bunch
    That food looks like a cum shot from an old Seka video

  251. Already on the list, Pepe, but thanks.

  252. This is what I was looking for, creamed beef, not chipped beef. First time I saw it was in an Army mess hall. It’s the stuff of nightmares.

    That Seka was one hell of an actress, eh?

  253. Chipped beef. I used to love “Shit on a shingle” for dinner.

  254. Jimbro – I prefer haddock!

  255. Any white fish for me, not farm raised. Butter, lemon and a little Old Bay sprinkled on top. Rice and broccoli if I’m being good, fries if I’m not. Delicious.

  256. Goodnight y’all. Time to dream of mermaids, the other white meat.

  257. If laura can watch that pus pocket without gagging, she will make a fine nurse.

  258. Jimbro,
    A buddy of mine was in Germany (Pershing Missile outfit) when they had “Fish” in the mess-hall one Friday night.
    One of his friends spit his food out on the tray, picked it up, and walked around the partition, into “Officers Country”.

    Put his tray down on their table and said:
    “Sir,
    There are worms in this fish,”

    Capt: “Son, There are worms in all whitefish.”

    “Sir, These worms are moving!”

    Capt:
    “Mess Sgt!”

  259. That creamed beef, not to be confused with a tattoo infection, looks delicious.

  260. Did anybody figure out how to avoid all of anybody else’s security cameras today?

  261. And I thought making it through the perirectal abscess story was an achievement. JTFC

  262. My dad could make SOS like a boss.

  263. chemistry sucks
    http://tinyurl.com/kn35gub

  264. long winters?
    cabin fever?
    http://tinyurl.com/mcyu236

  265. How is everyone doing? Emma Watson is all kinds of yummy. That belly…

  266. It’s been a rather pussful day, Alex.

  267. makes wisers days as a Thai Tranny look kinda tame:
    http://tinyurl.com/lsvvzrg

  268. I had a good morning, answering questions from two young engineers. I couldn’t tell if they were more impressed that I had answers or that I could actually find anything in my office.

  269. client for jazz:
    http://tinyurl.com/kdv8wme

  270. Cyn,

    Sounds delightfully vomit-inducing.

    I spent all day teaching and finding out that my insurance won’t cover the damages to my rental property. Can you send some of that pus to them? I reimburse you for the shipping.

  271. DiT, mine too.

  272. roamy just saw this on the blaze: (old but neat)
    http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=zCFDkj2JtyA

  273. Damn that sucks, Alex. Did you file a police report? I hope you remembered to tell your insurance about the signs of break-in *cough*.

  274. Jam, that was pretty cool.

  275. Just saw on facechimp that a friend of mine modeled for an ad campaign for our state’s 404care exchange.

    *bites tongue*

    *tastes blood*

  276. did your friend at least get to do a keg-stand?

  277. What’s the best website to find the value of your house?

  278. Cyn,

    A police report was filed, but I don’t have all the details yet about why they won’t cover it. I tried calling the gal back, but no one answered.

  279. Food for thought from Jane Fonda:

    “I feel myself becoming part of everything. I seem to be super sensitive to people’s joy and pain. I ache for unwanted children in the world, for polars bears, and elephants, and Monarch butterflies, and dolphins, gorillas and chimpanzees.”

  280. TJ, still waiting for her to become dust. Vile POS.

  281. I’ll keep my fingers crossed for you that your adjuster has overlooked something, Alex.

  282. Hanoi Jane’s list is OK with me except for butterflies. Flying insects. Up there with hummingbirds on my H8 list.

  283. Blerg. I don’t even want to begin too described the hell of today.

  284. I say fuck the chimpanzees, those sons of bitches

  285. Hanoi Jane is fine with abortion, but we must save all of the endangered species – up to and including breeding programs for those that we might be able to “save”…..

  286. From Chimpan A to Chimpan Z. Bonobos are the real assholes.

  287. Pours wine for Carin.

  288. You’ll never make a monkey out of me.

  289. We had a car stuck sideways on our icy driveway, and me stuck at work with a dead battery.

  290. My old straight razor.. the name always made me laugh. Which you shouldn’t do, the laughing thing, while shaving with it http://twitpic.com/dwkoko

  291. Throws chocolate towards Meechegan.

  292. *Gobbles chocolate and wine until I am unconscious.

  293. a dead battery? but don’t you.. have..

    *shuts up*

  294. icicles for deniers:
    http://tinyurl.com/my258lh

  295. You certainly don’t want to get Dorko’d in teh squeakhole.

  296. Ouch

  297. I was trying to avoid March Madness, but I keep getting pulled back in.

  298. If only Fonda had known that anti-aircraft guns might take out a butterfly, she wouldn’t have been yukking it up so much while posing on one.

  299. I’m OK with butterflies getting whacked. Hanoi Jane, too.

  300. Dan today: I’m not using AC in February. Roll your window down.

  301. Yes, we have old fashioned non-power windows in our new car. No penis wheels.

  302. Don’t make me think ‘penis wheels’ every time I hit the power windows!

  303. Hahaha I didn’t think it was possible to get a more stripped car than our Honda. I was wrong. Our Versa has fewer amenities.

  304. MiL decided she wanted a cell phone. Dan spent a week looking for a plan for his parents. We were at the inlaws today and Dan explained what he found that would suit them…they had forgot about the whole deal.

  305. You could always get a more stripped car…

    http://tinyurl.com/lg45o7v

  306. Sean, pretty close. Keyed entry only from driver side. No split back seat. I can’t pluck with natural light because the visor has no mirror!!!!

  307. George Harrison is my favorite Beatle. He’s been trending all day. Give me love…

  308. G’night. Dan doesn’t believe in Circadian rhythms or being a Night Owl.

  309. We seem to be having an infestation of crows. Bonus. Chased off the fucking pigeons. Flying rats. Dan is calling me “Tippi” Totes not funneh.

  310. Tomorrow would be George’s 71st birfday.

  311. I guess George’s actual birthdate is in dispute. BIRTHERS!!!!!

  312. I hear he wasn’t even born in America.

    Wait, what?

  313. Hahaha He hung out with commies too! Lennon, Lenin. Meh.

  314. Space ships can’t tame the jungle
    And I feel like I’m giving in
    We’ve been drivin’ through a desert
    Looking for a derp to call our own

  315. on a horse with no name.
    La La La la la

  316. slackers

  317. Not I, scott. I’ve got settlement hearings today. I’m up and working.

  318. I see that Australian animals are not all that different from a typical Hostage.

    http://imgur.com/gallery/vBj877B

  319. Heh – so true, Tushar. Here’s the story behind that pic.

    http://bit.ly/1hO3ocV

  320. Good morning all!

    9 degrees and clear here. Quiet but cold all week forecasted.

  321. ^wait for it…

  322. I’m making pork tenderloin.

    Yes RIGHT NOW.

  323. Hilarious, Jimbro. What a whore, though.

  324. http://nypost.com/2014/02/22/amish-beauty-trades-in-bonnet-for-nyc-modeling-career/

    Explains Stoltz: “My aunt once said, ‘I can’t wear nice dresses, but a good pair of underwear always makes me feel like I look good, even if I’m the only one that knows it!’ ”

    Apparently frilly lingerie is common among the Plain. I will never visit Amish country in the same light again. It could also lead to the following funny exhortation:

    “Honey, I really wish you’d dress sexy like the Amish girls.”

  325. a dead battery? but don’t you.. have..

    *shuts up*

    Yes, and that didn’t help me one bit when the store is 60 miles away from where my car was.

  326. wakey wakey

  327. Yeah, starfucker is how I’d describe her.

  328. Dingell is a cunt.

    What do you think of his wife?

    She’s just as bad. Some policies. Power whore. DIngell was just on WJR.

  329. Homewrecker. I find it amusing that the fellow is so distraught, after having broken his own childrens’ home for her.

  330. “I’m shocked, SHOCKED to discover this woman is a whoor!”

  331. Debbie Dingell is the worst kind of starfucker.

  332. >>>Homewrecker.

    Almost like there’s a pattern….

  333. Well at least he texted her an apology.

  334. Well, well, well hello goooooood morning!

  335. Yeah, his description of what he did and why, is hilarious. Like it was really no big deal. Don’t see the problem here, what? Oh, like you’ve never told your ex’s coworkers that she’s screwing everybody at the company? Then invaded her home and vandalized it? Puh-lease.

  336. This worries me.

  337. Why MJ, been doing some painting?

  338. http://www.npr.org/blogs/thesalt/2014/02/22/280231765/cholent-the-original-slow-cooked-dish

    Which one of you commented “cholent green is made from people”?

  339. I’ve got a story, but it’s too long to give all the details, and I don’t want to become the next wall of text game.

    It’s a shame. IT would have been sorta entertaining.

  340. Aw. Come on, Carin.

  341. I promise not to participate.

  342. Perhaps I’ll put it out in snippets. Throughout the day?

  343. I don’t think that’s kosher with long pig, roamy.

  344. Sounds great, Car in!

    *readies cut and paste

  345. YAYY!

  346. It wasn’t me, Roamy. I don’t read NPR.

    Commie.

  347. Ok, the story. Little back info to put it all in perspective.

    A co-worker’s sister (Amanda) has 2 YOUNG children by this guy – Sean. Sean started shtupping one of my managers (who know when?) , and then SHE got pregnant. Nine months of sturm and drang (he’s moving out, he’s not moving out, he can’t move out, he’s taking the car, he can’t pay child support – oh it went on and on) but by the day of delivery for his second baby momma ….

    What happens NEXT? Oh the anticipation is palatable …

  348. Sean sounds like quite the ladies’ man. He must be bursting with sexual vitality and reproductive juices.

  349. He probably looks like that Thor doll.

  350. I won’t be a dick like that. Promise.

  351. I’ve never seen/met the dude (I can’t bring myself to call him a “man”). I’ve asked about him, and he’s apparently slight, and very shy.

    I think he must have a very big penis, because he has very little else in the way of assets – intellectually, physically, morally, etc …

  352. I know you won’t, MJ. You can’t reach the paintings, after all.

  353. Ah, the quiet type. Just like me!

  354. Sean has game, or he’s picking women that his game works on.

    Shudder in horror when you realize that this POS has three children and I have none.

  355. We need to illustrate Carin’s story, ok?

    Here’s Sean: http://tinypic.com/r/155pc9d/8

  356. Ba haaaa haaa haaaa …

  357. THree children? Oh leon … the story’s not over.

    OOPS. I’ve said too much.

  358. *clasps hands under chin, waiting with rapt attention for Carin’s Storytime of Miracles*

  359. Is there violence to go along with the T&A in this story? I have a short attention span.

  360. *gives Jay an Indian Burn*

  361. I’ll try to work some in, J’ames.

  362. I just wanted to contextualize what we have thus far.

  363. When we last left our story, my Manager was just about to give birth, but not before she bought a house with the intention of sean- stud-muffin extraordinaire – moving in and helping pay the bills.

    Well, Sean had other plans. He didn’t have a car, he’s a cook, he owes some sort of payment to baby momma #1 (who’s an idiot in her own right). There are fights over cars. Money. WHo is supposed to watch those first two children – baby momma #1 gets a new boyfriend. Sean has all this going on … a new baby on the way … so what does he do?

    He gets a NEW girlfriend! Cute thing, apparently. So, he’s NOT moving in with my manager. He’s moving on. ANd guess what ? …

    stay tuned for the NEXT Installment …

  364. This has been going on for 9 months so far. My friend almost got fired over it, because she had some choice words for the manager. I’m trying to just stay to the main story. But, just know that all the people involved (not my friend) are idiots.

  365. How long do you boil eggs?

    Asking for a “friend”

  366. Take ’em TO a boil, cover turn off heat and let them sit for 15 minutes.

    Perfect.

  367. Anytime people wonder why the Church says no to premarital sex, stories like this should be presented.

  368. I usually transfer mine to an icewater bath right after the boil occurs.

  369. I actually turn off the heat before the boil. Just the little bubbles. Prevents the shells from cracking. Thus they need to stay in the water longer.

  370. Sitting now. Cold water bath forthcoming.

    Fanks.

  371. Your way would be better if I had no ice and more time, I suspect.

  372. ALMOST BOILIN THEN 15 MINUTES COVERED WITH NO HEAT? AIN’T NOBODY GOT TIME FOR THAT!

    *pours lighter fluid in the pot of eggs*

  373. I think my method represents a happy medium between Car in’s and Dave’s.

  374. Just microwave them, Dave.

    *gets popcorn

  375. If you’re doing a LOT of eggs, I’d do it my way. Otherwise a lot will crack during the heavy boil.

  376. Depends on how you like them. I like an egg boiled for three minutes, which means the yolk is still liquid but the whites are totally done. Jumbo egg needs 3 /2 – 4 minutes for this.

    Hard-boiled with no green rind on the yolk, do what Carin says.

    My grandmother’s way, very old-school Italian, as soon as the water boils, remove the eggs from the water and serve. She would set the egg in a cup, tap off the top with a spoon, then run the spoon around the inside of the egg to mix the barely-cooked outer white into the still-raw center, then down it like a shot.

    Other old ginnies put a splash of marsala in there before sucking it down. It sounds pretty gross, but actually in person it is even more disgusting to watch.

  377. New thread for Car in’s story?

  378. If you let the raw eggs sit in the cold water for a few minutes before starting the heat, it helps prevent them from cracking later on, in the boil. The cracking is caused by the initial temperature difference.

  379. My dad liked soft boiled eggs in an egg cup. He taught us how to take the end off and dip toast in the yolk. I haven’t had them like that in years. We usually boil eggs for lunches later on and go with hard boiled.

  380. My dad LOVED soft boiled eggs.

  381. Yep. Start the eggs in the cold water.

  382. That’s it?

    Needs more violence, swearing, and nudity. Please have a rewrite on my desk by noon. Chop chop.

  383. The story is not done, MJ.

  384. So, when we last left our tale, Sean got himself a new girlfriend. His second baby momma is about to give birth, and he still needs baby momma #1 to drive him around, etc.

    And NOW – the new girlfriend is pregnant. The story goes, it’s not his (not sure, it could be), but he’s claiming paternity because the OTHER guy she was facking beat her. Sean is apparently the better choice.

    Let that sink in.

    Anyway, my manager had her baby last week, and Sean needed baby momma #1 to drive to the hospital so he could see his most recent addition. He left baby momma #1, and their two kids in the car in the parking lot while he visited baby momma #2. He visited for 20 minutes, while baby momma #1 called him to ask when he was going to come back to the car (she thought he was just dropping things off) and baby momma #2 complained the whole time that baby momma #1 wouldn’t let him spend time with his newest child.

    It’s an effed up situation, and these people are all to blame for the situation they are in, but what happened on Sunday …

  385. Is Sean a drummer?

  386. No, as I stated before I think he must have a really big penis.

  387. so, drummers don’t have big penises? What about bass players?

  388. You think a big penis would get in the way of drumming.

  389. you’d

  390. Or assist in the performance.

  391. A guy’s right leg can get awfully sore stomping on the bass drum pedal.

    Or so I’ve heard.

  392. Is Sean’s real name Dale? Because if it is, I think you might be talking about my nephew.

  393. New post. It’s spectacular.

  394. Tommy Lee played the drums
    Plus me

    So your penis theory is incorrect

  395. Morning, children.

    You realize, of course, Carin, that someone will paste all your snippets together soon.

  396. Replace “waitress” and “manager” with “manager” and “manager’s baby sister” and I have the same story in my step-in laws family, except “Sean” lived with his mom who pays most of his bills so he can spend his wages on basketball shoes. He’s a collector.

    Manager baby momma 1 still lives in “Sean’s” mom’s basement with baby 1 and baby 2, sister baby momma 2 lives with her parents,

    “Sean” got a new girlfriend and lives with her part-time while she waits to become baby momma 3, and he buzzes from flower to flower to flower still collecting nectar. None of the baby mommas have made him responsible for his actions, so why should he change? Besides, the new Jordans are coming out. I think he’s 24-5. Oh, he has a car that mom bought for him, she pays the insurance and maintenance, so he can get to work and visit his kids.

    He’s a fry cook at Roosters, baby momma 1 is the restaurant manager.


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