Cover Me

You can all thank Cyn for this. A post on cover tunes was her idea.

In fact, she pretty much threatened me with grievous bodily harm if I didn’t do a cover tunes post.

So here we go. I figured I would start with the crap that I don’t like.

It’s one of the most iconic and easily recognized songs in history……and Korn screwed it up.

Because no list of really screwed up things is complete without her, Miley Cyrus makes me think Cobain did the smart thing.

No. No No No No No NO NO! Stop singing that and go get some more toilet paper, Sheryl.

I…I just threw up in my mouth. And that was still better than this garbage.

Alright, enough of that. I can’t take anymore. Let’s get to some good stuff.

I’ll start with a George Michael cover. Yup, a good list is going to start with George Michael due to Seether.

Mudvayne gives the Stinger a bit of edge.

Yes, it’s sacrilege. Yes, Lars is a douche. Yes, they’re sellouts for cutting their hair. I still like Metallica’s cover of Seger’s Turn the Page. (Video is NSFW)

And finally, the greatest cover of all time in that it was done by a badass who did the song way way waaaaay better than it was done originally. The Man In Black covers NIN’s Hurt.

Alright Hostages, that’s all I got. Some of the ones I hate and love the most. What you got?

388 Comments

  1. So much wrong with this poat.

    MJ’s assfucker link. Shitty music. Cover theory. Gifs that don’t move.

    Bcock is the new douchebag king.

    Good job.

  2. MCPO, XBrad, Phat and all the hostages who served, you can only dream of being as awesome as this guy:

    http://imgur.com/gallery/2CdpRbL

  3. Hispanics *are*horrible tippers. I usually expect the worst, so i can be pleasantly surprised if they tip ok. Last night I got a decent one. But $5 on $75 is nothing to bat an eye.

    I would *never* be a server anywhere that had a large hispanic population. That’s why you get shitty service, Oso.

  4. Morning, children.

    Didn’t like Metallica’s cover. Aaron Lewis did a good job on Turn the Page, though.

  5. Shitty service with an attitude is a New Mexico specialty.

  6. Saturday morning worktime.

  7. Favorite covers:

    Maynard and Steven Drozd Rocket Man.

    Gary Jules Mad World.

    All the Apocolyptica covers, but of note is Helden/ “Heros”

  8. Aaron Lewis did a good job with Staind on a Tool song – “Sober”.

  9. Are we not supposed to stay on topic?

  10. Good morning all!

    This post sucks dead donkey dick in a dark alley for fun.

  11. Hah. He went there.

  12. Alient Ant Farm. Favorite cover off the top of my head.

    http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=CDl9ZMfj6aE

  13. It also fits the theory because no one every heard of them again.

  14. Oh, I know another good cover … New order. WHo did it? I can’t remember.

  15. I remember hearing or reading the name of the band Alien Ant Farm at some point but never any music they played. They’re still touring…

  16. G’mornig.

  17. I searched “New Order cover” on youtube and there’s 5 listed. Any more hints?

  18. Talking Heads – Take Me to the River

  19. Gmorning. Glad you’re enjoying the poat.

    Eldest midget is about to go onstage for her first dance competition. I might puke.

  20. Sounds like it could be from the Blues Brothers sound track

    http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=vGD8aQ2GKr0&feature=kp

  21. Try not to think about her messing up and dissolving into tears.

  22. Just picture Dave doing it instead and you’ll be fine.

  23. Aaron Lewis can really sing.

  24. Thanks Dave. Hey! Watch out for those rocks! I hear they’re slippery.

  25. I can’t remember. It may be a depeche mode song.

  26. I like that Seether cover of George Michael. That’s about it for all those covers. I fecking hate that Cash cover of NIN. And, Seether stole the “cover George Michael” idea from Bint Quisnit’s cover of Faith, but Seether wins because they actually have cred with me.

  27. The Celine Dion cover makes me want to stab my ears with an icepick and then fill’m with hot lead.

  28. You People actually clicked on some of those?

    Hunh.

  29. Jimbro, Alien Ant Farm covered Michael Jackson’s “Smooth Criminal.” I never liked either version. It doesn’t have a nice beat and you can’t dance to it.

  30. The only one I clicked, Cyn was Seether. I’ve heard them all, actually. I didn’t need to click them. There’s NO WAY I’m listening to that Celkine song again. None.

  31. Somebody in France bought this, it’s 9 feet tall.

    It looks like it’s going to be my problem shortly.

  32. Oh, man. I stepped on my dick with the Smooth Criminal comment. Duh.

  33. The cover of “Smooth Criminal” was better than the original.

  34. Somebody in France bought this, it’s 9 feet tall.

    Do they not have Ikea in France?

  35. I like the Smooth Criminal cover. And if we’re talking about Faith covers, then I’m going with the hometown team…Limp Bizkit.

  36. That piece sold for $3000. That would have fetched $10,000 – $12,000 before the crash.

  37. Aaron Lewis can really sing.

    I liked Staind, and I like AL. I can’t listen much, tho – that music tends to smother my optimism. I get dark if I spend too much time there.

  38. Bob Dylan doing “Stardust”?

  39. I’m going to assume that you’ll be okay with it being your problem Scott. If they’re willing to pay for it to be packaged and shipped properly then it’s worth your time, right?

  40. Comment by bcochran81 on February 22, 2014 9:08 am
    Eldest midget is about to go onstage for her first dance competition.
    ============
    Do they have a little brass pole for her to use? or do they just work the full size stripper pole? (Just kidding you poor bastard)

  41. In Kiev, they’re doing a cover of “Prague ’68”

  42. Somebody in France bought this, it’s 9 feet tall.

    My favorite song about France:

  43. That’s very sweet, BCoch

    Enjoy those cute kids years, before you plea for death

  44. Morning. Just checked with XSis2. Sounds like significant improvement overnight for XMom. Not near to being out of the woods, but improvement.

    Thanks for all the prayers, thoughts, good vibes.*

    *and by good vibes, I’m not talking about Cyn’s vibrator.

  45. They got diseases
    Like you never seen
    Got a mystery blow-job
    Turn your peter green
    In France
    Way down in France
    Way on down
    Way on down
    In France

  46. It’ll be worth it. I just don’t like stuff that big and heavy.

    I think I got a hernia just by looking at the marble.

  47. EXCELLENT news, xbrad! What a relief!

  48. Somebody did a rock cover of “I Walk the Line” that was good.

  49. BCock?

    //LHFA

  50. Woo hoo. The meds are kicking in.

  51. Great news XBrad.

  52. That’s great news xbrad!

    *smacks pepe*

    Seriously though, some of the shit they put these girls in and have them do is awful. There was a 10 yr old in a catholic school girl outfit that looked like it was absolutely made to be worn while on the pole. Fucking terrible.

  53. Yay for Pogo!

  54. I used to work for a freight forwarder, scott – spent quite a few years moving both air and ocean freight. Our crating company made bank. That’s like 20 years ago now, tho.

  55. Glad to read about Xmom, hang in there trooper.

  56. Seriously though, some of the shit they put these girls in and have them do is awful. There was a 10 yr old in a catholic school girl outfit that looked like it was absolutely made to be worn while on the pole. Fucking terrible.

    I’d be up in arms if my daughter’s dance school tried to pull something like that. I’d definitely move her to another instructor or school. I think the reason a school/teacher can get away with something like that is the lack of pushback. I might just be looking for reasons to be dickish, though.

  57. It’ll be worth it. I just don’t like stuff that big and heavy.

    Are we still not talking about Cyn’s vibrator?

  58. Superfreak FTW !!!

    Good news on Xmom

  59. >>>I’d be up in arms if my daughter’s dance school tried to pull something like that. I’d definitely move her to another instructor or school. I think the reason a school/teacher can get away with something like that is the lack of pushback. I might just be looking for reasons to be dickish, though.

    Yeah, I’d have lost my shit if they tried to put my daughter in something like that. I left to use the restroom at one point and apparently missed a striptease. Girl came out in the librarian look. Bun. Glasses. Jacket. Bun came down, glasses thrown across stage, jacket taken off.

    Glad I missed that.

  60. Jimbro, there’s exactly where Xmom got her nickname. Looked just like Pogo when she was a wee one.

  61. Girl came out in the librarian look. Bun. Glasses. Jacket. Bun came down, glasses thrown across stage, jacket taken off.

    http://dejavu.com/

  62. Link not remotely SFW.

  63. Bcoch, if anyone got video of that, send it to Fox. You could end up interviewed on O’rly.

  64. I like this one better than the Maroon 5 version.

  65. I never heard of them before, RFH. 200,000,000 youtube views?

    Pretty nifty story.

  66. Very glad to hear Xmom is doing better.

  67. >>>Bcoch, if anyone got video of that, send it to Fox. You could end up interviewed on O’rly.

    *shrug*

    They sell videos of the competition. I’m sure the wife will buy one.

    That would be awesome. Then I could tell BOR what I think of him. That would be entertaining tv.

  68. I solved another mystery this week. My legs have been messed up for months. I always just assumed it was from walking 20-30 miles a week on concrete. Nope.

    When I am on the laptop at the coffee table, which is every day, I rest my elbows on my thighs. Apparently with enough pressure to screw up blood flow and or cause deep muscle bruises.

  69. A friend sent me this. It’s all very digestible up to the “AMAZING” part. Then it dissolve into liquid bullshit. This is the stuff that gets intravenously fed to kids.

    http://tinyurl.com/nthr5v8

  70. We stuck to ballet and tap

    No ass wiggling or pole dancing shit there

  71. Tap tap tap.

  72. That would be awesome. Then I could tell BOR what I think of him. That would be entertaining tv.

    Well, you could send it directly to Megyn Kelly.

  73. You talking about the rivers? It makes perfect sense.

    It’s basic geology.

  74. Tap tap tap.

  75. The one thing that video failed to mention was how many cows and sheep those wolves ate, and how many farmers got fined for shooting wolves.

  76. TJ, I pulled my daughter from a ballet studio because of the older girls dancing to Michael Jackson (in tutus and on pointe) and being yelled at to fling their hair more. (Her class danced to Swan Lake, as they should.)

  77. Wow. Ukraine and Venezuela going to shit, and the top story at Memeorandum is Ted Nugent.

  78. I’m doing 75 on I20 last night and this drunken or stoned idiot comes around me doing at least 90 and prolly 100 and cuts right back in my lane missing my front end by less than ten feet. He does the same thing to the semi about 100 yards ahead of me but over corrects and ends up rolling it in the median. I slowed down and drove through the dust cloud and went on down the road. I hope there was a Darwinian solution but haven’t seen anything on the news.

  79. I’m not sure what this means, except maybe I can expect to have my penis preserved in a jar.

  80. Another cover I like, though I still like the original better.

  81. As a geologist, that video make me puke up yesterday’s dinner
    Unmitigated horseshit
    Twenty more hunters would have done far more to diminish the deer population
    And that riverbank stabilization crap is a hoot.
    Plus wolves kill thousands of the small rodents that aerate the soil, making the ecosystem LESS stable.

  82. >>>I hope there was a Darwinian solution but haven’t seen anything on the news.

    Cop or politician

  83. Pendejo,

    Drunk. Stoned drivers do about 15mph and think they’re doing 100. That scene from, either TommyBoy or Black Sheep, is accurate.

    So I’ve been told.

  84. >>>and the top story at Memeorandum is Ted Nugent.

    I’m taking a day off from news on TV anyway. Got NFL Live on now with minimal volume and when Paula gets up she’ll watch some netflix before she goes to work again tonight.

  85. They didn’t claim they eliminated the deer population, it was the altering of their behavior.

    Some of the valleys were flat wastelands, you know what rivers tend to do there.

  86. I bought Gerry Rafferty on vinyl. Gone now with one of my many moves.

  87. I got Chuck Norris on the test. Probably all the punching.

  88. Does wiser have anything interesting to say this week? T minus 57 and counting

  89. T minus 56 and counting….

  90. It was an illogical mess
    The deer behavior had to change as they depleted the flat grasslands to go forage in the less productive upland areas
    In any case, the burgeoning deer population was the main cause
    And main cause of the exploding deer population was the BLM not allowing much hunting.
    So it was the BLM that fucked up
    And that river stabilization nonsense was laughable

  91. I’m racking my brain to figure out what you’re compressing with your elbows Scott. You either have very sharp elbows or the force is tremendous. See if it goes away if you stop entirely or just use a pillow to distribute the force.

  92. No ecosystem has been studied more than Yellowstone. They can back it up

    http://www.acsu.buffalo.edu/~jcallen/river%20channel%20dynamics.pdf

  93. Elbows are a scam.

  94. I get golfer’s elbow if I’m not careful about my wrist angle when pressing. I have to wrap my forearm when it comes or I can’t lift a coffee cup.

  95. I enjoy the origins of expressions and sometimes end up writing something I’ve only ever spoken. And then wonder how the hell it’s spelled.

    http://www.dailywritingtips.com/wracking-or-racking-your-brain/

    Weird, I know.

  96. I’ve had that pain too Leon. As a resident we cared for people with tennis elbow, did injections and even surgery and I had no idea how painful it was. “Through suffering comes insight” was one of the mantras used by our attendings during residency.

  97. I know rivers
    I work with all that

    The critical issue is the deer and elk population control since they destroy the stabilizing vegetation on the riverbanks
    Im all for reintroducing the wolves but they could have solved that as well with additional hunting permits
    The drop in hunting in Texas has caused horrific problems with deer overpopulation
    Driving at night through the hill country in the fall is scary as hell

  98. Tennis elbow sucks. I had one that was messed up for over a year.

  99. TJ, I spent a full year studying what happened to the grizzly population when they closed the park dumps.

    That was a total clusterfuck.

  100. We’re having similar problems in MI, TJ. That’s why they opened up crossbow hunting to the non-handicapped. It was a surprisingly smart move on the state governent’s part.

  101. Obligatory: http://www.finetune.com/playlist/1758878

  102. Okay, one more. This one is a cover of a cover.

    I am procrastinating doing my taxes because I know it’s going to suck.

  103. Did you work for the BLM or Park Service?

  104. They need Nugent to move back up there and kill some more deer

  105. JEEBUS!!! Alice, hide that before wiser gets here! He’ll lose it!

  106. Jimbro, I think its a combination of physical exertion and screwed up blood flow.

    It would be very common for me to be leaning on my thighs for several hours. Several hours after walking 8 miles and doing 40-50 flights of stairs.

  107. I love cover songs, I wish FineTune wasn’t such a pain in the ass to work with anymore. I created that playlist before most of the other music services were a thing.

  108. They need Nugent to move back up there and kill some more deer

    By and large, I think we’d be happy to have him. He’d balance out Jeff Daniels and Michael Moore.

  109. I like this cover of Billie Jean. I found it when Rosie started posting Gareth Pearson vids (it’s not GP)

  110. No TJ, I had to teach a class on something in order to graduate. I chose grizzlies at Yellowstone. It was a big deal, advertised, open to the public, and the professors tried to make you look like a dumbass in the Q&A at the end.

    My fear of public speaking meant I had to know more than anyone else. In 1985 I bet I did. I studied everything ever published on the subject, all the way back to Lewis and Clark.

    One of the profs tried to take me down with an obscure new discovery about grizzly fat that was only a few days old, I knew all about it.

  111. By and large, I think we’d be happy to have him. He’d balance out Jeff Daniels and Michael Moore.

    And now Melissa Gilbert lives in Howell. :-(

  112. I got to see one of them a few years later. That was pretty cool.

  113. I still listen to gareth pearson, btw. Rosie hit a home run with that one.

    TJ, you were talking about Django Reinhardt a while back. Joshco Stephan does a bit of gypsy guitar

  114. I remember that those psycho Grizzlies absolutely scared the shit out of Lewis and Clark

  115. >> Tennis elbow sucks. I had one that was messed up for over a year.

    Those straps you put on your forearm just in front of the elbow really help. It’s an inflamed nerve that moves over your joint when you flex your arm, which keeps irritating it. The strap holds it in place. Usually feels better in a couple days.

    Tennis elbow is from gripping and lifting.

  116. Oso is not THAT old.

  117. *makes grizzly fat sandwich*

  118. Oh. Great.

    I’ve got a sobbing 6yr old on my hands. Apparently she thinks that in her first ever competition, and as the youngest dancer, she should have placed.

    I appreciate the drive , but a little realism is needed.

  119. It just feels like a nerve Dave. It’s inflamed muscles/tendons at the lateral epicondyle. The ECRB and ECRL undergo degeneration and have inflammation. The provocative test of resisting wrist and finger extension causes sufferers to jump out of their chair. The straps do help limit the pain.

  120. Elbow strap-on?

    Hunh.

  121. 7th Circuit Court of Appeals rules against Notre Dame in contraception mandate case

    http://bit.ly/1hEXoDo

  122. Thanks Jazz

    Here’s my favorite Django video with Grappelli and his band, in Paris just before the war in 1938 or 39

    Amazing what you can do with only three fingers!

  123. Apparently she thinks that in her first ever competition, and as the youngest dancer, she should have placed.

    She’s not wrong. Best evar and she was robbed!!11ty!

  124. bcoch, losing is a better teacher than winning. It’s important to lose once in a while. I’m glad you’ve got the attitude.

    BTW, I suck at losing.

  125. *waves upthread to Alice*

  126. Amazing what you can do with only three fingers!

    That story about how he ended up that way is truly awful.

  127. Couple of days? Maybe if you don’t have to use it.

    Tennis elbow and physical labor is different. Laura had it last year, she had it for months.

  128. >>>Amazing what you can do with only three fingers!

    http://tinyurl.com/l7kg87t

    (offensiveness warning for the linkie!)

  129. There’s the H2 debauchery I know and love!

  130. I have cubital tunnel in both arms
    Haven’t felt my pinkie and ring finger on my right hand in almost a year and a half
    Brought on by resting on my elbows on tables and accentuated by my diabetes
    Had to relearn how to write
    I did exercises and got 80 percent of my strength back

  131. “absolutely scared the shit out of Lewis and Clark”

    It was hard to reload those guns while running and crapping your pants.

  132. I’ve posted this before, but I like this group. Plus the singer is a cutey-patooty.

  133. >>> have cubital tunnel in both arms
    Haven’t felt my pinkie and ring finger on my right hand in almost a year and a half

    As a physician I’m amazed at the function of the human body and disappointed when it breaks down. I’m hoping we figure out some new things faster for everyone’s sake!

    Time to wake Paula and spend time with her before she needs to work again. See you all later.

  134. I’ve got a sobbing 6yr old on my hands. Apparently she thinks that in her first ever competition, and as the youngest dancer, she should have placed.

    Tiger Daughter.

    A- = F

  135. Wiser is doing really well so far.

  136. He is; seems to be comfortably settled in.

  137. Tom Hill!

  138. I’m not in favor of reintroducing wolves. Environmentalist assholes. They are vastly increasing the wolves range here. Planning on releasing wolves within 20 miles of my cattle. Not a good idea.

  139. Here’s a song that needs to be covered:

  140. B-Cock, serious question. Are you on pedo watch while at these things? I swear, my head would be on a swivel. Seems like a dance competition for little girls would be a pedo-magnet.

  141. BCoch
    The upside for her:
    Defeat brings out the Ice Cream Dad!

  142. XBrad, so very glad to hear of XMom’s improvement – serious prayers were being sent from down here to add to all of the others that were headed your way. Gentle hugs and kisses to Pogo (and to you, too) ♥♥♥

  143. Scott, that antique piece is gorgeous – can’t believe it went for only $3K!

  144. Antique furniture is on sale coast to coast. Everything is about 75% off.

  145. Ann’s Deli, recognized by more people in Michigan than any other CT Deli.

  146. phat on the radio!

  147. Ann’s deli has six foot grinders. What the fuck are grinders?

  148. Subs, MJ. Baked subs, not cold ones.

  149. Grinder is Connecticutian for sub or hoagie.

  150. They can be cold. When you order they ask if you want it toasted.

    It’s really only used here. I once ordered a grinder in Ohio. The guy looked at me and said “what part of CT are you from?”

    I wet my pants.

  151. Then he asked if I would like a pop and if I wanted it sacked.

    I laughed and laughed.

  152. I have never heard of a cold grinder. Perhaps someone sells cold grinders in MI. I dunno. Never experienced one, though.

  153. Guess I’m wrong. Mancino’s seems to sell cold grinders.

  154. Huh. I thought we were the only ones.

    I think they were hoagies in Ohio.

    gross

  155. Grinders are a scam.

  156. We mostly use “sub” here, scott, but “grinder” is a in use a bit. Not many hoagies. We never hear “hero,” and “po’ boy” is reserved for subs with fried seafood in’m.

  157. phat!

  158. I think that’s Pennsylvania.

    Dr. Huxtable used to call them hoagies and they lived in Philly.

  159. There’s a Grinders Sub Shop in Midland, Texas, in the heart of the Permian Basin oilfields

  160. There was a shop at UM campus that sold grinders. The distinction was that they made a sub sandwich and then baked it in foil.

  161. phat’s awesome.

  162. Yeah he is. I really want him to say something Phatish.

  163. Thanks Wiser, that was fun!

    Had to keep it classy for Naugatuck.

  164. HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA

    wiser calls out Tom Hill

  165. You were great, phat! You guys worked really well together. And, you know stuff and stuff. I enjoyed your segment a lot.

  166. I want some food from Ann’s Deli

  167. OMG, a fart joke.

  168. Nick is animated.

  169. OMG, a fart joke.

    Fart jokes are in-deli-cate.

  170. >> Planning on releasing wolves within 20 miles of my cattle. Not a good idea.

    Oh, that will be trouble. Sorry to hear that.

    Hey Scott, I have to furnish a living room, where can I get some of those sweet furniture deals?

  171. Wait.. what? Michigan’s trying to outlaw wood burning? Do I need to get a pitchfork and torch out? I haven’t heard this! I think wiser’s talking about the EPA’s proposed regulation of wood stoves?

  172. wiser needs some better lounge music.

  173. Hahaha

    Lounge music?

  174. Wow, check out the ancient statue that was found in Gaza (and promptly conficated by Hamas, of course). The fine carving of the hair is beautiful.

    http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/magazine-26275578

  175. yeah – wiser’s background music for the mixological segment is lounge music. It’s not lounge-y enough.

  176. Baby

  177. ohhhhh – Alien Ant farm cover!!!! HAHAHAHAHAHAHA

  178. Who is TGND?

  179. I wasn’t able to listen today. Busy watching crap like this:

  180. “After I saw the yellow colour at the head of the statue I thought it was made of gold, but one of my sons suggested cutting off the finger and taking it to the market to check.

    Dear gawd. Philistines.

  181. Lipstick, I would check out local antique auctions. See if you can find anyone local on liveauctioneers.com

  182. Who is TGND?

    MJ’s new friend, I think. We’ll see how friendly she is after she finishes those two margaritas.

  183. Friend of mine. We set that up, obviously.

  184. Girl Next Door sound like a lot of fun.

  185. That wasn’t a real taste test?

  186. *waves upstream at Cyn*

    I tried to find a picture of an elbow strapon for you, Cyn.

    It’s amazing how different the pictures that you get are when you change a search from ‘elbow strapon’ to ‘elbow strapon dildo’, but surprisingly, none of the pictures were actually what I was looking for.

  187. >>It’s not lounge-y enough.

    I think it is.

    And yes, Jazz, those savages wanted to cut the statue up. They just can’t be trusted with anything.

  188. Great show, Wiser. Really enjoyed it.

    And thanks, Scott.

  189. Hi Alice!

    but surprisingly, none of the pictures were actually what I was looking for.

  190. This is what I think of when I think of lounge music

  191. Dear gawd. Philistines.

    Literally. That’s where the name “Palestine” comes from.

  192. I LOVED how TGND slipped in a cover reference. I laughed hard at thtat.

  193. Ghurab’s uncle, Atef, proposed cutting the statue into small pieces and selling it.

    Ghurab’s uncle should be castrated, beaten with blunt instruments within an inch of his life, and fed to pigs while he’s still alive.

  194. Awesome contribution, MJ! Nice touch with TGND. Mee-oww.

    Fantastic job, Radiobud!

  195. Hi Pup!

  196. Listening to Phat was a kick in the pants. And that accent is teh hawt.

    Fun stuff overall today – makes working go mucho faster.

  197. This is what I think of when I think of lounge music

  198. I almost went with that, pup! hahahahah

  199. Anybody heard from b-rad today?

  200. This is what I think of when I think of lounge music

  201. Hi, idiots. You can see where we bottomed out at the Hate House blog, http://thegimleteyeball.blogspot.com

  202. >> It just feels like a nerve Dave. It’s inflamed muscles/tendons at the lateral epicondyle.

    Well invent a pill or something!

  203. Still can’t comment from WiFi. Mom is stable.

  204. Yeah, Sean, his mom is showing a lot of improvement

  205. Also, Fergie did a really awful live cover of Live and let die.

  206. Keep us poated when you can, b-rad. I gots my fingers crossed for you.

  207. best of luck, xbrad

  208. glad your mom is doing better, xbrad

  209. Comment by aliceaitch on February 22, 2014 2:36 pm

    http://thechive.com/2010/03/05/naughty-alice-in-wonderland-gallery-13-photos/

  210. well if that’s not a risky click, I don’t know what is…

  211. >>>B-Cock, serious question. Are you on pedo watch while at these things? I swear, my head would be on a swivel. Seems like a dance competition for little girls would be a peso-magnet.

    Always. Between cheer competitions and dance competitions, it’s a target rich environment for creeps.

  212. The first picture is disturbing, she’s way too young to be posing like that.

    And the Alice in Wonderland I have on my wall isn’t up there. http://shop.kevineslinger.com/product.sc;jsessionid=C1FB60B3956ECA24F0160063718D9B95.m1plqscsfapp03?productId=27&categoryId=1

  213. Hahaha, I like your how your tendrils of hate are blooming, George.

  214. My recipe:

    http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=egZkKET-t2M&feature=youtu.be

  215. Wiser’s:

    http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=DqONNt7aCmg&feature=youtu.be

  216. My tendrils of hate twine themselves amidst the very interstices of my soul. And my drip irrigation lines.

  217. Good job letting Wiser win, MJ.

  218. Good job letting Wiser win, MJ.
    —————–
    It’s his show, I had to let him win. And truth be told, I liked his drink better. If I had to choose, I’d choose that one.

    I can see how it wouldn’t be for everyone, though.

  219. Laura saw the comment about her tendonitis lasting a few months

    L- “a few months?”
    S- “How long did you have it?”
    L- “I still have it.”
    S – “How long has it been?”
    L – “Years”

    fin

  220. Tendonitis is a bitch. I got it in my knee during my junior year in college playing baseball. That was 12 years ago. It still bugs me.

  221. That was a good show. I heard Nick on another talk show last week.

    He’s an interesting character.

  222. You’re photogenic, MJ. I’m not sure how much I like you anymore. ;)

  223. I got tendonitis in my elbow a few years back – doc told me to wear a brace until it stopped hurting; said it might be a few months before that happened, but not to stop wearing the brace until it didn’t hurt any more.

    I can’t remember how many months I had to wear that stupid thing, but the pain finally did go away. Happily, it hasn’t been back since (knock on wood)

  224. I just went and got the world’s worst haircut. I’m gonna go to a mediation hearing on Tuesday looking like I cut my own hair with a bowie knife.

  225. Phat was interesting as well.. Last week astronauts, this week a pilot….

    * does math *

    Wiser in 57 weeks ….

    .”I am now joined by my friend xbrad who drives a golf cart.”

  226. >>>I just went and got the world’s worst haircut. I’m gonna go to a mediation hearing on Tuesday looking like I cut my own hair with a bowie knife.

    http://tinyurl.com/mh9peky

  227. My karate instructor and I have been joking about flowbees for 20 years. hahahahahahah

  228. phat is a hoot in person – missed the show, so I’ll have to catch it when Wiser puts it up later.

    Most of the stories he related at the DFW meat-up were NSFWR…..

  229. This is what I think of when I think of lounge music:

    http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=cq0m6MM1I8Y

  230. You’re photogenic, MJ. I’m not sure how much I like you anymore. ;)

    I particularly enjoyed the part when he turned around to get the glass.

  231. This again? Hawt!

  232. ”I am now joined by my friend xbrad who drives a golf cart.”

    ahahaha!

    “You won’t want to miss next week when we have Lipstick for an hour long chat about ferrets.”

  233. Cyn – yep!

  234. I think scott should be on and answer every question with, “scam.”

  235. Yes

  236. Week 13:

    We’d like to welcome Rosetta to the show. He’s from St. Louis and is an expert in bullwhips.

  237. His personal latexologist.

  238. Has no one mentioned the cover of “Cum on Feel the Noize” By Quiet Riot (orig. By Slade)

  239. No. Please elaborate at length.

  240. His personal latexologist.

    … and his personal expert on personal storage. “Where do you keep your bullwhips and potatoes, Rosie?”

  241. I still can’t believe the Alien Ant Farm comment. That was good.

  242. MJ, I laughed SO HARD!

    You must have shown this thread to TGND this morning?

  243. Howard Stern is starting to get it….

    After FCC commissioners announced they have reached a deal to approve the merger of Sirius (NASDAQ:SIRI) and XM (NASDAQ:XMSR), Stern ranted about Democrats’ ‘gangsterism’ and ‘communism’ and the obstacles to the merger.

    Stern described a phone conversation he had with his agent, who he described as a “liberal Democrat kind of guy.”

    “I go, ‘That’s it!’” Stern said. “[I] go, ‘You know what Don, I’ve voted Republican and I’ve voted Democrat. I have vowed I will never vote for a Democrat again. I don’t give a [expletive] – no matter who they are. I don’t care if God becomes a Democrat.’ I said, ‘I backed Hillary Clinton, I backed Al Gore, I backed John Kerry. I am done with them.’”

    http://bit.ly/1cC3Arh

  244. More Stern:

    “The fact that these Democrats on the FCC are communists,” Stern said. “They’re for communism. They don’t want to see companies – this is gangsterism. I said, ‘This is crazy.’”

  245. Re: Laura’s tendonitis.

    I still have a touch of it after 4 years when it first struck. And now I have a traumatized nerve from getting stuck with a needle of swine disease.

  246. Jazz, Stern can suck my ass. He voted for all of these f*ckers who have left a trail of pain and destruction and only gets concerned when the crocodile decides to give him a taste.

  247. I just got back from the grocery store. While walking each aisle, I kept smelling a whisp of something like old lady – moth balls and unchanged bladder pad. NO, IT WASN’T ME ASSHOLES.

    I get to the checkout, get behind a family I kept passing in the store, and wanted to barf. It was the man. A mixture of curry, unwashed scrotum, and severe bad breath of rotting teeth or tonsils. I would have repacked my cart, but they were finishing up and leaving.

    *heaves*

  248. We saw it coming, beasn, but I don’t think we’re in a position to turn down allies at this point. I like seeing guys like him get their comeuppance, but I like beating back the other side even more. I don’t have to hang out with him – I just want to give him a sword and let’m start hacking. AND, he has a pedestal – he has more influence and can convince more people of the evils of the left than you or I.

  249. True, but I would still tell him to suck my ass. I don’t think he would get too upset as it is a fine one……okay, it used to be.

  250. I am not sure whether this is good or bad.

    http://imgur.com/gallery/cfuTICS

  251. Tushar
    That makes me proud to be an American

  252. So Nick Nolte likes to visit grocery stores

    After all he was People Magazine’s Sexiest Man Alice in 1992!

  253. What’s a Man Alice?

  254. Slightly more butch than a nancy boy?

  255. What the intercourse is this fecal matter.

  256. From Sexiest Man Alive to Dumpster Diving in just 20 years

  257. The story of my life..

  258. “Oso is not THAT old” I was on break and snorted Coke Zero through my nose.

  259. I am not sure whether this is good or bad.

    http://imgur.com/gallery/cfuTICS

    Check out the muslim on the left.

  260. Oso
    If you’re snorting Coke Zero, you’re doing it all wrong

  261. ESPN2. Aztecs/Lobos. 8PM MST. You won’t see me, because we have crappy seats. You might hear me though! Everyone’s a Lobo! Woof! Woof! Woof!

  262. TJ, I should know better than reading the H2 in the break room.

  263. My wife’s a Lobo but will only admit it under extreme torture

  264. TJ, I should know better than reading the H2 in the break room.

    Heh, every once in a while a snicker will escape my cube at work.

    “What are you laughing at?”

    Never mind.

    (The libs would have a aneurism if they read H2)

  265. Everyone’s a Lobo!

    Even Steve Alford?

    *runs

  266. You better run, J’ames!!!

  267. If you’re snorting Coke Zero, you’re doing it all wrong

    http://tinyurl.com/l99tt83

  268. IMHO Alford wasn’t any better than Bliss. 2 and out. Last year, we couldn’t beat effing Harvard.

  269. There are 3 Messicans in MICU. There are 30 visitors. I keep looking for Oso.

  270. Oso
    Yesterday UTEP was beaten by New Mexico Tech in rugby

    New Mexico Tech..

  271. TJ, hahaha Nose Miners lost to NM Tech!

  272. Heading out for date night with the missus.

    Had fun with wiserbud on the radio. Can’t wait to meet him IRL.

    Back down to Houston tomorrow for my last sim ride then get unleashed on the paying public.

    March flying schedule layovers: Costa Rica, DC, LAX, San Fran, San Diego, Phoenix, DFW, and Newark. Not bad. A couple of those trips may get wiped out because I have to fly with an Instructor for my first 25 hrs, depends on how long it takes them to get me assigned to one.

    Most of the layovers are in the 16-18 hr range, but I think LAX is over 24 hrs. If you live in one of the locations, let me know and I can tell you what hotel I’m at. Drinks are on me. Sean will get dinner in LA.

    TiFW, I may drop in to DFW on Monday to see my mom for a day or so. I’ll let you know.

  273. phat, is the airline gig a better gig than flying for some outfit like NetJets?

  274. *raises hand for Phoenix*

  275. °°raises hand for Costa Rica°°

  276. Looks like my in-laws are getting a 2014 Toyota Venza XLE (FWD). They found one thru the Costco buying program and got some numbers from the dealer today. They’re getting rooked on the trade-in, and the dealer is wanting to throw on BS extras (paint protector and other crap–pffffft) to the tune of $1600. I ran the numbers, told them where crap needs to come off or go up and they’ll be good.

    I love, love, love buying cars. Seriously. The research and then the fun of haggling is a kick in the pants.

  277. This mongrel language is just out of bounds

    http://thehill.com/homenews/administration/111611-obama-calls-african-americans-a-mongrel-people-

    wait.. who said it?

  278. Just remember, you have to get pissed and denounce things that sound racist, its the GOP way.

  279. Make sure to get a look at the wheels before they buy, Cyn. Older people are susceptible to purchasing vehicles with penis wheels.

  280. Mongrel™: It’s only bad to say if you’re white.

  281. Ha Ha! Penis wheels. Yeah, I’ll be sure to check for those; they’re bringing the vehicle by tomorrow (though I may not be here to see it).

  282. Heh, the H2, where old jokes just wont die

  283. Waiting for my orange chicken then back home to watch Kansas kick the crap out of Texas.

  284. I had sweet & sour chicken, J’Ames, with vegetable fried rice, and it was good.

  285. This place has unbreaded chicken, love it. They have good sweet and sour chicken too.

  286. Speaking of racist, a young black girl was killed last week when a prank went terribly wrong:

    http://www.nbcnews.com/news/us-news/teen-killed-over-prank-celebrated-schoolmates-family-n36186

    We’re not hearing about it until now because the homeowner who “shot to scare” (and it does look like that’s what happened, if you click through the links) doesn’t have the right skin color for the Sharpton/Jackson/Crump race-hustling triumvirate to profit from get TV face time bother with.

  287. phat, we’d love to meet up with you (if Mr. TiFW’s schedule permits) – I think you have my phone number/e-mail addy; let us know when you’re here!

  288. I’m thrilled that an adopted girl found her birth family, but did we really need to spend this much Olympic time on it?

  289. >>>Speaking of racist, a young black girl was killed last week when a prank went terribly wrong:

    Very interesting but hardly shocking nowadays

  290. Heh, the H2, where old jokes just wont die

    thas ageiss

  291. Do penis wheels shrink when it gets cold?

  292. Not if you put chains on ’em. Kinky.

  293. Any Hostages speak Portuguese? I listen to a fair amount of Portuguese music – mostly bossa nova & jazz, but I like Daniela Mercury, too.

  294. Talk to Laura, Jazz – I believe she may know some Portagee –

  295. Did anybody debunk anybody else’s hoax today?

  296. desculpe, nao faolo Portuguese

  297. Testing 123

  298. show…. posted.

    http://stevenoxonradio.wordpress.com/2014/02/23/special-edition-saturday-february-22-2014/

    I also posted Monday’s show as well at that site.

    Because I love you.

    Sorry it took so long. I had to go to UConn after the show to see wiserson play in a concert with other 1st chair musicians from high schools around the state, as well as UConn music students.

    It was a cool night.

  299. A kid who was a class behind me in jh and HS flies for fedex. I haven’t seen or heard from him in over 35 years. But he told the friend who told me what he was doing that his job is every bit as satisfying, exciting, and glamorous as being an over the road trucker.

    Makes me wonder if phat ever feels like a bus driver w cute bus monitors.

  300. Kill me nao! They’ve planned a flash mob at tonights game. Really? Basketball isn’t enough they have to do crap like a flash mob?

  301. Wiser, borrowed bassoon work okay?

  302. If you like your flash mob, you can keep your flash mob

  303. Bassoon worked perfectly.

    They all sounded awesome.

    Stupid band director didn’t send in the names of the kids for the program.

    Her name was listed though.

  304. I’m glad it worked out for your son’s friend to be there. Band director sounds like an idiot.

    My mom saved all my programs, even the ones where they misspelled my name.

  305. Makes me wonder if phat ever feels like a bus driver w cute bus monitors.

    “Cute”? Have you seen the stewardesses lately? Thanks, unions!

  306. http://imgur.com/gallery/0NyKK2u

  307. I would assume FedEx pilots – take more chances
    – fly crappier planes
    – don’t make as much

  308. Yeah, band director is a complete ditz

  309. Is it true that most male stewards are gay? When I flew to Texas for the meatup, the male stewards looked pretty gay. Very polite, efficient, friendly and gay.

  310. oh crap, and you have to work nights too.

  311. I was stunned to hear how little those guys make

  312. Working night flights from Vegas = very quiet passengers.

  313. Phat was really awesome.

    Next week…. TexasJew!

  314. Getting Phat was a great idea!

    Thanks, Scott!

  315. 20 years ago I met an airline pilot that was making about $25k a year.

    He flew the little commuter prop planes.

    I was stunned.

  316. Wiser, typo on your description of the Margarita taste-off. “Girl Next Store”.

    /hotspur

  317. It is pretty crappy what they make. I think I will be nicer to those pilots from now on. Not that I was ever NOT nice.

  318. How nice?

  319. I wonder which gets more schedule pressure, the FedEx or passenger airline pilot?

  320. Yes.

  321. If FedEx messes up it’s free.

  322. On the other hand FedEx pilots don’t have to deal with drunken assholes.

  323. I sometimes like to read imgur comments, because it gives me a peek into what the thickheaded youngsters are thinking. One thing I noticed is that they don’t have much patience for the new 52 genders, over-sensititivity to perceived racial offenses etc.

  324. I think I read somewhere where the United and America types who fly the 737’s and up make north of a hundred.

  325. Average FedEx pilot earned $194,000 in 2011.

  326. Is it true that most male stewards are gay? When I flew to Texas for the meatup, the male stewards looked pretty gay. Very polite, efficient, friendly and gay.

    I think so. The only flight steward I know is a soooper, soooper gay ex-waiter from NYC. He’s Liberace gay. He’s a fun guy when he’s sober, but he’s a bit … aggressive, shall we say, when he gets liquored. One has to be very firm with him about the line when he’s in his cups. We worked at a restaurant together for a while before he got the steward’s job, and he did some things… One story: He got a flat tire in the ghetto one night on his way home from work. Imagine Liberace driving, first, and then imagine Liberace getting a flat tire in the ghetto at 3 AM while he was stumbling drunk. He ended up sitting on the curb crying, because he never even owned a car until he moved to Michigan, and he’d never changed a tire. Some other character ended up walking past (walking home from the bar, maybe?), and Liberace ended up trading the guy a beej for a tire change. He got home okay and had just little enough self-respect to share the story the next morning with a few of us before the restaurant opened for lunch. That was a strange day at work – his story was never far out of mind and caused a lot of unprompted laughter from quite a few people.

  327. OK Wiser
    That’s fine
    I’m flying out to North Dakota the next day because of a schedule delay so that should work out.
    However, you may need to prep me on what the hell we’ll be talking about
    If its about fracing (as we oil types actually spell it) things could get a little lively

  328. fracing and Texas bagels…. ;-)

  329. Frac You

  330. Out of curiosity: the guy who accepted the beej and changed Liberace’s tire in return must be gay himself, right? Or do straight guys think it is not gay to accept one?

  331. Beer goggles?

  332. I think I’ve read where it’s not gay to get one but it is to give one.

  333. Tushar, I have no idea. I don’t think Liberace got any digits, but, hell, I dunno. It’s not really a transaction I dwell on, and I certainly don’t claim to understand the particulars of rationalizing it.

  334. It’s gay.

  335. Damn, Hostages have been busy with the comments today.

    Freaking long day. Eldest midget had to be at her dance comp at 730am. So we were out the door by 640.

    My sis came over for dinner and then we had to go online to link reservations and those 1984 style armbands and all that shit for the Disney trip next weekend.

  336. Hey, was Mundane’s date tonight?

  337. Yes. I predict it goes well.

  338. I think it was, bcoch

  339. Awesome. Where is mundane? Is he out west?

  340. yes

  341. Well, it’s 8pm out west and we haven’t heard from him yet. So far, so good.

  342. If it went well, we should be getting an update soon. If it went REALLY well, we’ll get an update tomorrow.

  343. Dang, someone stole a car out of the parking lot here this evening. Buncha savages in this town.

  344. What if he gets a flat tire?

  345. Pucker up buttercup

  346. If his date turns out to be a trannie, we may not know for a couple of days

  347. Somebody he works with set him up with a date with their mom?

    Odds are favorable.

  348. We were set up by a mutual friend.

  349. Do you think he remembered to remove a bullet from the chamber in case things were going really well? Don’t want a shot going off prematurely.

  350. He could be one of those low T guys, and then it wouldn’t really be an issue without a purple pill.

  351. Wow, lots of things to address and I’m tired.

    Tush, 90+% of all male flight attendants are gay. The sub 10% that aren’t are swimming in it (‘it’ being pussy). The thing that cracks me up is the way they refer to themselves. For example: my name is Patrick. I usually go by Pat or Phat. Buds of mine named Steven go by Steve, Jonathan’s go by Jon, etc.

    Male FA’s ALWAYS insist on the ‘long form’ of their given name. It’s hilarious. Need to ask some hostages with experience on that side of the street what the rationale behind that is. Do they feel that going by a nickname is ‘jockish’ or overly masculine? No idea.

    Cyn, as my schedule gets clearer I’ll let you know if the PHX trip is a go. Hotel is the Hyatt Regency in downtown.

    TiFW, looks like DFW on Monday night will happen. I’ll email you when I get to Houston tomorrow.

    Wiserbud, thanks again and I’d like an edited copy if you have the time. It would be fun to play it for my girls so they know that dear old Dad does in fact know some things. You have my bio, would love to do it again if you get interested in another story that is in my wheelhouse.

    Xbrad, you are not allowed in Costa Rica. The hotel we stay at is an all-inclusive on the beach and they have free liquor dispensers in the rooms. You would never leave:

    http://www.riu.com/en/Paises/costa-rica/guanacaste/index.jsp

    Actually, if we ever had a meet up down there we would probably bankrupt the place.

  352. Xbrad, you are not allowed in Costa Rica. The hotel we stay at is an all-inclusive on the beach and they have free liquor dispensers in the rooms.

    I am also not allowed in Costa Rica.

  353. Phat,
    I tried to follow your link and Vipre told me NO!
    You REALLY don’t want to go here running a Windows computer.
    If you want to push this, “It’s on you!”

    I guess I’ll just skip it.

    NYTOL…

  354. ChisP,

    The link just goes to http://www.riu.com, the hotel is the Riu Palace in Costa Rica.

    I’m not seeing any malware notices on my Mac running firefox.

  355. Phat?

    http://imgur.com/gallery/laxsJHr

  356. OK, edited the comment to leave a cleaner link to the hotel.

  357. Anteater, FTW!

    Thanks Tushar, that made me giggle.

    Off to bed and then to Houston in the am.

    Be good, gentle people.

    …and Sean.

  358. Sounds like a plan, phat!

  359. Meh. My ears aren’t even ringing. Back in my day, The Pit was loud. Fans throwing cups and trash at opposing players hasn’t changed though. Stay classy, New Mexico.

  360. Still not happy with some of mom’s numbers, but today was a better day than yesterday.

  361. Thanks for the update, XB. Continued Prayers.

  362. What Oso said.

  363. The night shift Respiratory Therapist, Laurie, has a nice booty.

    The day shift, Bryan, not so much.

  364. Wiser should get Nick Searcy on the show.

  365. I

  366. don’t

  367. want

  368. Glad mom’s doing better, Xbrad. Little victories and baby steps.

  369. to

  370. So, one cute thing about St. Joseph’s. Whenever a baby is born, they play a snippet of Lullaby on the PA. I always get a smile. And I got to see a couple of brand new babies heading home.

    I asked Sis what they played when someone croaked. She didn’t think that was funny.

  371. Hahaha

  372. There must have been 50 family members in the lobby waiting for one little Mexican baby. I was heading for dinner when they wheeled mother and child out. 30 minutes later, coming back, they were still passing bambino around. It was cute.

  373. Heh, if he got Nick Searcy on the show, Tom Hill would wonder about his connections.

  374. I’ll shoot Nick a message. In the old days, he’d always answer me. But these days, he’s FB famous.

  375. I never wanted to derp
    I am not naturally evil
    Such things I do
    Just to make myself
    More attractive to you
    Have I failed ?

  376. G’morn, pup

  377. Howdy.

  378. Awesome, pup – puppies are so hard to resist!

  379. This is for TJ if and when he looks at this thread:

    Check out the drummer- BOSS. ;-)

  380. Morning, children.

  381. New poat, subhuman mongrels and Cyn.

  382. Meh. It’s lost its racist sting. I still don’t get it, though.

  383. Thanks Jazz

    Great link

    I have some other Jobim music links for you

  384. No new poat?

    Someone needs to get out of the fartsack!


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