Good morning, and welcome to another edition of Hunky Hump Day, my first one for 2014. As I’m putting this poat together, I’m listening to Rocketboy play the guitar. He’s got “Enter Sandman” and “Stairway to Heaven” down pat, but I want him to play this. This version, not the rocking chair, lullabye version.
Now that we’re awake, I will tell you that today’s theme is men’s cologne ads. I was waiting at the dentist’s office, flipping through a People magazine, when I saw a smokin’ hot hunk in a cologne ad and said to myself, “Self, there’s a search that should turn up some good ones.” You be the judge.
Not a fan of Brut, but I could be persuaded.
No idea what this brand is.
Some of the Yves Saint Laurent ads were a big turnoff. This was an exception.
I think this guy is in Gray’s Anatomy.
Bonus link for the guys who made it this far. Last, but not least, a reappearance of the Old Spice guy.
That wraps it up for me. Thank you for your attention, and y’all have a good day.
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BUNK!
And good morning cool kids.
Hi cyn. I wore your hat this morning. 34 degrees.
Awesome MJ. You’re going to need a heavy coat moving up to NC too.
*clicks the H2 Amazon link to begin searching for more prony outerwear.
Loaded dryer last night, didn’t start it. All my gym clothes are in it.
It’s a sign.
34? Oh MJ are you ok?
I may or may not have pirated almost every Clapton album.
Can’t decide if I like Derek and Dominos or Blind Faith better. Also, does anyone think the cover for Layla and Other Assorted Love Songs looks like a vagina? A friend told me she thought so. I don’t really see it.
http://is.gd/BX74VA
Are you kidding? He must be dying in that heat.
I checked the crawlspace. The “pop” noise wasn’t anything obvious. I’m worried one of the cinderblocks in the foundation suffered some kind of icequake.
I’m good Car in. Thanks for asking. My mom and dad got me a North Face bionic jacket for Xmas. I guess it gets cold in NC.
How you doin’?
I don’t see a vagina either, and I’m really looking.
I hope all you cold peeps are starting to thaw out a bit. I just saw on the news that a woman’s tires were frozen to her driveway with about 3 inches of water after a line break. Yikes.
Morning, children.
It’ s balmy today. 0.
Pat sold batteries at a rather quick clip. It would appear that every battery in Michigan failed yesterday. He couldn’t leave until 3 hours after the “closing” time, and only made it a few miles before he gave up and got a hotel room (ice was really bad).
I hope all you cold peeps are starting to thaw out a bit.
*attaches grill-lite stick to garden hose
*attaches garden hose and to propane tank
One way or another, this ends today.
*drops welding mask
We are getting up to the 20’s today and then we gain 10 degrees a day, by this weekend it will be in the 50’s!
We’re still at -1 here. Supposed to get to 14 at 1pm.
We’re supposed to get to 38 this weekend, and then rain.
Seriously? Rain, on top of all this snow is going to be a disaster.
I’m very worried about flooding. I need to spend Friday evening clearing snow around the foundation and making sure the sump vent is good and clear.
It’s weird here, by Sunday it will be 70.
I like the way Lex writes:
http://www.wwtdd.com/2014/01/oj-simpson-asks-obama-for-clemency/
11. Feels nice.
My sister went to HS with Ron Goldman. Said he was a nice guy but didn’t know him well.
This will piss off mare:
http://is.gd/IOYct9
Did anyone else wake up to the partially-eaten remains of a bird on their stair landing this morning? Their INTERIOR stair landing?
Apparently the alpha dog decided she wanted to nosh on her midnight snack inside where it was warm. And of course, Mr. TiFW and I are both half-asleep when we let the dogs in in the middle of the night, so…..
It certainly explained why the inside cats were all atwitter this morning.
The chickens are surviving. All their eggs are freezing, but they’re doing ok.
Going out for a humidifier.
The air, it’s too damn dry.
Yep. Every night my throat hurts, and this morning I blew my nose and blood came out.
Ugh.
We’ve both had sinus issues, and if I don’t stop scratching my left arm it will soon be a bloody stump.
Yes
That Layla album cover looks like a Georgia O’ Keefe knockoff
And half the stuff she did looked like vaginas
But that’s just my pervy-ness
My idiot dogs are too dumb to hunt anything quicker than a Milkbone
The ring-tail doves eat all their food and mock them
The O’Keefe similarity was brought up too.
I see that, but not the other thing.
I saw Blind Faith at the Hemisfair in San Antonio
Clapton was great, but Stevie Winwood was unbelievable
Monday’s “females” have a BMI about half of what we’re seeing here with these “males”. And Leon wonders why we’re not feeling the love.
Is it time to get rid of the Christmas thingy yet?
**drowned the brain cell that was assigned to remember what these fucking pictures are called during new year’s binge drinking session**
I can find girls with high BMIs, PG. You won’t like what you see, and neither will I.
Mostly because they will look like these dudes.
BMI != BF%.
Tom Cruise had a BMI of 30 when he did the first Mission Impossible. A chick with a BMI of 30 could look like Tom Cruise in MI, or like the mom on Honey Boo Boo, and not much else.
I just realized that I’m close to being overweight.
Huh. I don’t feel like I am.
I am Obese 🙂
BMI of 31.2.
I’m 24.7. I’m going to eat an entire pizza tonight to see if I can get to 25 tomorrow.
UR tiny. Little wisp of a manlet.
I have no upper body strength and I really don’t care. I’m trying to carry less weight on top so I can perform better on the bike portion of a tri.
You’re like the opposite of a rock climber.
Conveniently also the opposite of a curlbro, and I can respect that.
Yes, basically.
. I’m trying to carry less weight on top so I can perform better on the bike portion of a tri.
You wanna talk about the swimming portion?
see, this is why I don’t care that I’m a slower runner. I carry too much weight (in muscle plus some extra padding) than those runners that kick my ass. I could get down to 110 and probably really book.
I just wouldn’t be able to do anything else.
*shrugs
I just care about all-over health, not my mile splits.
curlbro?
That’s why I like you Car in. You care about what you care about and that’s it.
Bros in the gym that only work upper body. You see them benching and doing pulldowns and curls and shrugs, but never squatting or deadlifting.
They usually have chicken legs.
——————————>
I don’t do endurance events other than walking — and I do that weighted — and upper body strength is kind of important to my lifestyle and all the random crap on the farm
Plus my wife fondles my arms and says “damn” sometimes when she sees me shirtless. So, worth it.
Be happy, Car in, you could receive the tip of a lifetime:
http://journalstar.com/news/local/lincoln-waitress-receives-the-tip-of-a-lifetime/article_23f4f201-2b5c-5393-985f-4b7b12ea3d81.html
I mean, I do try to run faster, but I know that do really do that I’d have to stop all the other stuff I enjoy.
I like running but not THAT much.
Strength is generally more useful than vast amounts endurance, I’ve found. And more fun to do stuff with.
*throws log
That was my point. Do what makes you happy.
No BOO! face.
I just downloaded Steve Winwood Greatest Hits and it had songs from a few bands he was in and solo stuff. Good collection.
I enjoy that I can pretty much keep up with my kids (which is endurance). I can ski all day, or hike up a hill w/o having to stop to catch my breath. There are lots of activities which are endurance based.
I might have to get Robert Gates’ book. I also really wish he’d said this out loud at some point, preferably to Obambi:
I may be the secretary of defense, but I am also an American citizen, and there is no son of a bitch in the world who can talk to me like that. I quit. Find somebody else.
I’m too
oldmature to feel pressure to set goals (run 8 min miles in a half) which would make me miserable.15º below overnight. 2º below now. It’s a heat wave.
I thought that men’s strength muscles were primarily concentrated in their upper body and women’s were primarily concentrated in their lower body.
Y’know, to help carry the cantilevered weight of a growing human being while in utero, then to help carry said human being around on a hip while still young.
I’m probably pregnant.
Teresa, that is very true. Yep. Woman are able to lift much more in the squats/deadlifts, etc than they are in the movements which are upper body focused.
Most obvious when you watch fit women trying to do pull-ups. No where else is the difficulty more pronounced.
TIFW, it’s more that a man’s upper body is much stronger than a woman’s, and his lower body is only a little stronger.
The hips on a woman are the wider pelvis to accommodate the birth canal; the carrying of an infant thereon is function following form. Other primate females just carry them elsewhere.
Men are basically apes, is what it is.
Women are more developed on the evolutionary scale.
Only lift I can think of when women routinely do better than men is this wonky thing called a barbell hip thrust: http://youtu.be/A8nFGuY77CE
And I suspect the women do better because men just don’t do these.
There will be mostly onsie-men in a few years anyway.
Women are more developed on the evolutionary scale.
Feministing is right over there, missy.
I’m looking forward to a future in which the manliest dude in a given room is likely to be me.
It’s gonna suck for the rest of Western Civilization, but I’ll be cool.
That bar is low, leon. I’m often the manliest dude in a given room.
BMI is a scam, it was started in the 1800s.
That bar is low, leon. I’m often the manliest dude in a given room.
—————————
Hahahaha. Me too. A very low bar, indeed.
So is ASCAP. Those fuckers are old school mafioso.
I can’t hear anyone on this conf. call. I am wasting my time.
Try plugging it in.
Pup, I had a daily 11am for the last 3 weeks. Monday was the first time anyone else talked. I kept dialing in and muting for 10 minutes just in case.
Telecons killed it.
This is an every other week meeting that I couldn’t make in person, the room is an echo chamber and the phone is in the corner. Every once in a while someone will yell my name and I’ll ask them to repeat the question. The rest of the time it is Charlie Brown’s teacher on dope.
Comment by Car in on January 8, 2014 10:36 am
Men are basically apes, is what it is.
Women are more developed on the evolutionary scale.
*high-fives Car in, tosses bunch of bananas at the rest of the sausage-fest*
Just for laughs I ran Obama’s approval numbers if you lowered the share of african american approval to 50% rather than 90%.
He’d be at 37%. Ouch.
*high-fives Car in, tosses bunch of bananas at the rest of the sausage-fest*
*Adds TIFW to the “rampant misandrist” list
That’s “Mrs. Andrist” to you, sonny-boy
You know, I should be receiving seed catalogs about now …
WHERE ARE MY MUTHFOCHING SEED CATALOGS?
On the internet, everyone knows I’m a dog.
*Adds TIFW to the “rampant misandrist” list
That sounds dirty.
I think the low fat diet is preventing boys/men from making enough cholesterol and testosterone;Ergo, onesie-dick.
But that could also be scientifically crap.
Justified was very dark last night. Holy smokes a whole lot of killing going on.
My grammar could also be crap.
I OWN this bitch.
But I mean that in a nice way.
You don’t own me.
KICK HIS ASS MARE
I have lower AND upper body strength, Mj is going down.
Everybody owns MJ:
I have kind of a nice coffee high going on. DON’T KILL MY BUZZ!
Yeah!! Kick his ass!!!
Wha?
I think the low fat diet is preventing boys/men from making enough cholesterol and testosterone;Ergo, onesie-dick.
Also xenoestrogens, lack of sunlight/Vitamin D, reduction in time spent electrically grounded, and zero exposure to manual labor or competitive sports.
But mostly because there are women who will still sleep with these prancing nancies.
I’m often the manliest dude in a given room.
And probably the manliest blogger I know, after Jeff G.
Maybe that’s why everyone is gay, now.
“But mostly because there are women who will still sleep with these prancing nannies.”
I use to joke that I couldn’t date/marry anyone with smaller thighs than mine. (narrowed the lane pretty quickly)
But mostly because there are women who will still sleep with these prancing nancies.
Nailed it.
I have lower AND upper body strength,
weight =/= strength
* Runs away before she kicks my ass
I use to joke that I couldn’t date/marry anyone with smaller thighs than mine. (narrowed the lane pretty quickly)
I used to say I wouldn’t date a woman with an ass wider than my shoulders, but I was a lot narrower back then. And had lower standards.
We’re havin’ a heat wave,
A tropical heat wave.
Why is Dennis Rodman going to Korea? Why did he go in the first place? I know he’s an attention whore but what makes you say, “hey, I’m going to Korea and hang with a sick, psycho, dictator tyrant, sounds fun.”
mare last year:
http://tinyurl.com/kynw39s
The state of Colorado:
http://tinyurl.com/krkhqhl
Yep, Mare. Lotta killin’, little not enough Art Mullen.
Of course, the series opener and the finale always have the most killin’. Most of the rest tend to not have a lot.
I haven’t read this yet, but knowing Laura’s on a Julia Child kick right now…
http://www.thefrisky.com/2014-01-07/7-delicious-pieces-of-life-advice-from-julia-child/
Why is Dennis Rodman going to Korea? Why did he go in the first place? I know he’s an attention whore but what makes you say, “hey, I’m going to Korea and hang with a sick, psycho, dictator tyrant, sounds fun.”
———————–
Money. And the little fat kid has some sort of fascination with the 90s Chicago Bulls.
mare this year (substitute stomach roll for boob):
http://tinyurl.com/oewvsro
Mj, how is he making money on it? Is that little weirdo paying him to come to N Korea?
So any fat, gross, skank can be a cover model.
http://pagesix.com/2014/01/08/lena-dunham-lands-vogue-cover/
I don’t need to kick anyone’s ass – I just trip ’em and then sit on them.
(you can learn a lot from your cats)
To be fair, the 90s Bulls were pretty incredible.
Thank you for leaving the link intact Mare. No way am I clicking to see that skanky chancre.
Is that little weirdo paying him to come to N Korea?
I wanna know who’s paying the publicists to print these stories in the first place.
I mean, if nobody was reporting on this, who would even know/care that Rodman was palling around with Kim Jung Feeds-Uncle-to-His-Dogs in the first place?
He got over there somehow. Somebody’s taking pictures. Somebody’s writing stories. Somebody’s reporting the stories.
That stuff ain’t free.
Is that little weirdo paying him to come to N Korea?
Access to the harem.
Mj, how is he making money on it? Is that little weirdo paying him to come to N Korea?
I thought he was being brought in to organize some kind of basketball league..
Mj, how is he making money on it? Is that little weirdo paying him to come to N Korea?
—————————
He is coaching the N Korean basketball team.
I think he’s being brought in to put it in Kim’s pooper.
Ahh, I had no idea about the coaching deal.
Remember when Magic Johnson was HIV+? He was going to be the poster boy for AIDS because, hey, anyone can get it, so we all might die. AIDS was going to run rampant through heterosexuals, not just the fags.
The left gets everything wrong.
Everything.
Here’s a better link Jimbro! Much easier on the eyes:
http://tinyurl.com/qh6ayvp
PIV sex is hard to get HIV from, unless it’s rape.
But all PIV is rape.
Therefore hetero AIDS is rampant.
Lena Dunham is never easy on the eyes.
Rape rape?
This is for Mare. No one else look.
http://tinyurl.com/p39ovow
Please tell me HIV isn’t hand in vagina.
If it is I’m really confused right now.
HS you really need a bigger warning on the Mare only link.
I use to joke that I couldn’t date/marry anyone with smaller thighs than mine. (narrowed the lane pretty quickly)
What do you say now?
I refuse to believe a hand will fit in there. I’ve convinced myself it’s all special effects.
When meth meets fashion.
HS you really need a bigger warning on the Mare only link.
What the bear said.
Pups, I married someone who was a physical stud so, yes, he had bigger thighs than I did. I weighed 128 at the time. Size 4-6.
HIA?
Total myth.
Let’s talk about something else.
Razor @hale_razor 7m
Difference between Dennis Rodman and Biden? One is a brain-dead idiot who had lunch with a dictator; the other played in the NBA.
I wouldn’t date a girl who could throw a tennis ball I could catch before it bounced.
I weighed 128 at the time. Size 4-6.
How… were… you doin’?
Rodman played in the NBA? I thought he was famous for his fashion sense.
“I wouldn’t date a girl who could throw a tennis ball I could catch before it bounced.”
hahaha…See, we all have our standards.
Hoo boy, read that post at Ace’s about the gun/vagina combo.
no way.
nuh uh
I do want to know and then of course I don’t want to know, but how in the hell do people end up with these weird sexual deals. Holy crap, get some help.
Kiss kiss bang bang
how in the hell do people end up with these weird sexual deals.
What do you do for an encore? Bear trap up the keister?
He is coaching the N Korean basketball team.
How low are the hoops?
I mean, seriously – at 4’10”, DD#2 would tower over the newest NK Army recruits. She probably outweighs them, too.
hahaha Good one, pups.
Right MJ, where does it go when this stuff inevitably escalates? Wait, maybe that was THE escalation. What if that was the gateway act?
HOLY CRAP
I’m scared.
Whoa whoa whoa let’s leave the bear traps out of this.
She then proceeded to “have inner course with the gun,” according to the court fling.
The multiple errors in that sentence scare me as much as the content.
Scott, I put in a new faucet too. Not too difficult. I went with the “white” version:
http://tinyurl.com/m2h65r5
RACIST
I’m scared.
—————–
You’re scared? I have to learn how to be socially acceptable to make friends in Charlotte.
I’m not doing any gunfucking. That’s where I draw the line.
Oso, how many bear traps do you have up your ass RIGHT NOW?
“I’m not doing any gunfucking. That’s where I draw the line.”
I think that’s wise.
I’ve heard there are lots of attractive women in Charlotte. What did you experience when you were there?
When you do your first race, you’ll meet people. If you are planning on belonging to a gym (why not) you’ll meet people. When you go to MPA* meetings you will meet people.
*muppet porn anonymous
ok I read it. I don’t understand it, but I do understand Cormack McCarthy’s depression.
I find the gun shaming thread offensive. I demand an apology and your immediate termination of employment her at The Hostages.
ufff, feeble old man with too many plastic surgeries to look “youthful” looks like ” a few bear traps short of a full load” mental patient.
When you go to MPA* meetings you will meet people.
But probably not the type to bring home to Mom.
When you have your first arrest, you’ll meet people.
When you wake up hungover in the gutter the first time, you’ll meet people.
Gun fucking – it’s a Second Amendment right.
What did you experience when you were there?
————————————
The area where I’m living is young and professional. I don’t think I’ll have many problems meeting people to hang out with. I’m sort of looking forward to getting out of Tampa.
I generally don’t talk to people at gyms, but I’m sure I’ll start recognizing people from the neighborhood,gym,grocery store, walking the dog, etc.
MPA! Ha!
MJ, will you be seeking PIV sex?
If so, how big a P can you accommodate?
Mare wants to know.
Shut your lobster macaroni hole, Hotspur.
Hey, do you guys know where our George Orwell has been? I haven’t seen him in a long time. Did something happen?
The dead jokes aren’t going to be that funny, trust me.
I’ve been wondering the same Mare. Sean or someone else has piped up in the past about seeing him comment somewhere else…maybe protein wisdom? Haven’t heard any word from GO here or elsewhere in months.
MJ, will you be seeking PIV sex?
If so, how big a P can you accommodate?
Mare wants to know.
——————————-
No, not really.
I have no idea. Just take your average and multiply by zero, if you really want to know.
This last one doesn’t really seem plausible.
Anybody hear from that stud BrewFan lately?
So was the gun a semi automatic, revolver or derringer?
Yeah, where the heck has that amazingly attractive, witty, and intellectually adept BrewFan been?
I haven’t seen George over at PW recently, but I don’t follow every thread sometimes.
So was the gun a semi automatic, revolver or derringer?
A rifle.
I linked this yesterday, but tough nuts, I may link it everyday:
http://tinyurl.com/oelz48r
Comment by mare on January 8, 2014 2:19 pm
*muppet porn anonymous
===============
All muppet porn is anonymous, and for good reason.
Insane Clowns take on Incompetent Clowns:
http://weaselzippers.us/?p=167058
My money’s on the Juggaloes…..
I have to say mare that you seem to have extraordinary intelligence and wisdom. May I subscribe to your newsletter?
BrewFan has commented on my FaceChimp page. He is currently under snow. . .
GO’s last comment here was on November 2nd.
Why, yes, yes you may NotBrew!
And may I say it’s wonderful to see you here.
One of the rare politicians who makes Joe Biden look sane:
http://tinyurl.com/q5frf8k
YES!! (with conditions)
Alexis Levinson @alexis_levinson 9m
Rubio: “I am proposing that we turn Washington’s anti poverty programs, and the trillions that fund them, over to the states”
The job appears to be a done deal other than paperwork. Not sure how fast things will happen, but I need to bone up on some rusty skillz.
Not under any longer chief. It is frozen rock solid hard so you can run right across the top of it! If this winter isn’t crappy enough, there is freezing rain in the forecast for Friday. Good grief!
mare, are we friends on facechimp?
Does anyone know the latest stupid thing Thomas Friedman has said? Ace made a funny about Friedman on twitter but I don’t know what about.
Congrats, fatty.
That was for leon, not mare.
Congratulations Leon.
*schedules weekly conference call*
I’m 60 and looking for a part-time job. . . figure the odds.
Congrats, Leon.
Repeat after me Chief:
“Qué quieres patatas fritas con que?”
“Bienvenido a Wal Mart, qué necesitas un carro?”
Have you considered Muppet Porn, MCPO?
A bad dream woke me up at around 2 AM.
When I finally fell back asleep, I was in the same nightmare.
This happened 4-5 times.
Was there a stump involved? Glow plug?
So was the gun a semi automatic, revolver or derringer?
A blunderbus.
I’m 60 and looking for a part-time job
Toll booth operator in Mass?
Driving Instruction in FL?
The sad part is, I have more background and experience in logistics than any job I can find requires. Maybe I can find something driving a 10K forklift. . .
Congrats, fatty.
Thanks. Now I have to hope I can actually do the work.
Chief, I have friends up here in the transportation business if you have any urge to move.
Chief, get a job in the government. If at first you don’t get hired, sue for age discrimination.
A bad dream woke me up at around 2 AM.
——————–
Weird. I woke up at 3:30 and decided to start working. I went back to sleep around 5 for a few more hours.
Giant spider dream?
Good afternoon, holes of dill.
NotBrew, I don’t do Facedouche because I’d only link cat pictures and people giving others the finger.
Presented to justify any and all who need it:
http://drpinna.com/alcohol-the-worlds-best-medicine-part-ii-20839
“That was for leon, not mare.”
You dick.
Mare, I’ll call you a fatty if it will make you happy. I’m good like that.
Leon, is this job more money? Better hours? More likely to last? Better town?
Here ya go, Mare. Start your career: http://is.gd/hgUKfD
Huh, so now we find out that besides all his other faults Chris Christie is also a vindictive asshole.
We don’t need another Obama like person in the White House, go screw yourself fatty.
I don’t want a career on Facedick. The only good thing about it is pictures of your granddaughter.
MCPO, things have changed too. I had skills that made me a really good operation manager. Software has replaced the need for those skills.
The only good thing about it is pictures of your granddaughter.
Right, then. No more Riley pics.
Do you link Riley pics from facecock here, Sean? If so, I’m sorry I missed them. I like your pup pup.
Leon, is this job more money? Better hours? More likely to last? Better town?
Yes. Same. Yes. Exact same town and I won’t even move my office, unless the building closes, then I’m working from home via laptop.
Well, I’m happy for you!
http://tinyurl.com/n62wgod
I won’t even move my office
Well, if you do, lift with your legs!
I do occasionally link facechimp pics of the little fella here. Here’s one from Chrimmas morning:
I won’t even move my office
Well, if you do, lift with your legs!
Lols
He’s a sweetie, Sean. Do you ever feel he wants to cut you while your sleeping?
you’re
No, but I am under no illusions about the fact that he would eat me if trapped alone and hungry with my tasty, tasty corpse.
On that note, it’s naptime.
Worky worky
We kicked ass this afternoon, 7 chairs got packed.
if trapped alone and hungry with my tasty, tasty corpse.
I’m not sure my cattle dogs would wait until I was actually a corpse…
Just so I have this straight…the political left thinks that barricading 80 year plus WWII veterans out of a memorial is ok, but closing traffic lanes (still unacceptable) is not.
Got it.
So the snow in my yard is starting to form geological-like layers. The stuff before Christmas got very wet, and then a very hard freeze solidified it. Then we got a layer of really soft fluffy stuff. It started to melt, but then the polar vortex turned it into a crunchy kind of layer. Some recent rain (just before the vortex) started running out of the snow over the hard frozen ground, and has since frozen into micro-glaciers on the paths I carved for my dogs.
It’s a Winter Wonderland!
Five years after we bought the goddamn toaster oven and I’m still having to explain how thefuckingthing works to Xmom.
How she didn’t starve to death when she lived alone is a fucking mystery for the ages.
To add to it, I have several balls in the yard (SYWM) for the dogs to play with – Jolly balls. Plastic/rubberized, with a handle, about the size of a volleyball. I have to collect them before any significant snow, so that I don’t suck them into the snow blower afterwards.
I normally kick one around the yard for Beta every morning as I clean up the poop before leaving for work. When I went to kick one this morning, it was like kicking a cinder block. Hard as a rock – Ouch!
but closing traffic lanes (still unacceptable) is not.
because of “The Children!”, or some such bullshit….
having to explain how thefuckingthing works to Xmom
thefuckingthing? Seems like she knows, since she had you. Unless you’re trying to lay claim to another immaculate conception? 🙂
How she didn’t starve to death when she lived alone is a fucking mystery for the ages.
She didn’t lose a lot of cats, dogs, or goldfish then, did she?
I’ve just always prayed I was adopted.
I’ve just always prayed I was adopted.
My sister always claims that either she or I was, since we’re so different.
You were saved from the pound, AD.
Afternoon.
My wife’s sister is almost certainly not a full sibling based on appearance and temperament. We know her brothers aren’t, but her mother still claims the older children have the same father.
I have doubts.
Are you calling your MIL a slut?
Of course. Of course the day I have a horrible headache is the day the neighbor kid comes over and they’re all running amok.
My company’s Christmas gift to employees at my building was an assortment of cheeses and a salami. Last year it was a $35 gift visa — which was popular — so that means this cost even less.
The garlic cheese is pretty good, though.
Today I built one (1) shitty:
http://tinyurl.com/lj6ostl
and six (6) of these:
http://tinyurl.com/mdg9lu5
Fancy cheeses?
BTW, I *finally* noticed the other part of my SS gift, the cursing parrot, and the not terribly fitting magnetic bumper stickers.
Are you calling your MIL a slut?
She got pregnant with my wife because she wanted someone to love her. My wife could possibly pick her father out of a police line-up, and I’ve never met the man. There were other men in MIL’s life after/during the period that wife’s sister might have been conceived.
This was 30 years ago, and she doesn’t really date now, so I can’t really say she is a slut, but…
Fancy cheeses?
Sorta. Garlic and jalapeno are high points.
Cheez that doesn’t come out of a can *is* by definition, fancy.
It is not pre-shredded.
This discussion interests me.
The salami isn’t bad either.
Off to the pool!
If I were a better person I’d feel bad for my vegan coworkers.
>>>This discussion interests me.
Of course it does.
I just made pizza with smoked cheddar, smoked ham, and jalepenos.
I found the smoked cheddar by the helluva good dip. It’s awesome.
I thought the helluva good dip was by the cheap shredded cheese?
We will be keeping the relative humidity between 35%-40%.
This humidifier kicks ass.
162 The game of soccer was invented by the French so the men would have something to do while the women went and fought in the wars.
Posted by: Hank Hill at January 08, 2014 06:14 PM (012vu)
That was posted at some weird site called Ace of Spades. HAHAHAHA!!!!
None of these cheeses are smoked!
If my building had a stock, I would short it.
It was a FIND, as in, it should have been near the fancy cheese but wasn’t. And was reasonably priced.
Jeez. Try to keep up.
Some people…
That was posted at some weird site called Ace of Spades. HAHAHAHA!!!!
Never heard of it. What’s the URL?
>>>Jeez. Try to keep up.
Some people…
Sorry, I don’t keep up with that 1%er bullshit.
There’s a shortage of Velveeta. Cheesepocalypse!
False. Velveeta isn’t cheese.
OMG. I found the greatest BBF model ever. I think they’re fake.
We’re going to find out on Friday.
Good point.
I can’t quite grasp the concept. I’ll keep trying.
No fake jugs. It’s in your contract.
Like my ol’ daddy said, “I don’t know if being a vegitarian will make you live any longer, but it’ll goddamned sure make it seem longer.”
PG, what kind of a fagotty avatard is that supposed to be?
I’m actually not sure and there’s a fair amount of debate about it.
Ignorance is no excuse.
Nose bleeds are authorized during the winter months. Humidifiers are for the French and part of the Obamification of wussies.
I got awful nosebleeds the winter I was on e-cigs. I had a habit of exhaling through my nose to get more nicotine out of the vapor, probably didn’t help.
Nose bleeds are a scam.
You people are in the grip of Big Humidifier!!
We’ve been getting sick.
If you want to keep your illnesses, you can keep your illnesses.
I wasn’t sick but felt like shit when I was in Illinois. It was super cold, of course.
When I got home, I felt fine. I suspect the change in humidity.
Humidity is a scam.
#1 cause of nosebleeds?
Digital foreign body.
It’s lower on the list of causes for rectal bleeding.
If you like your nose, you can pick your nose.
Why do doctors talk like that?
Just say finger.
It could have been an analog foreign body.
Mono foreign?
I saw Analog Foreign Body open for Badfinger at the Fillmore in ’84.
Analog is probably high on the rectal bleeding list.
The first NASA employee newsletter of the year is always a recap of the previous year. Launches, major milestones, etc. It’s a pretty damn sad thing when the Combined Federal Campaign is not one but two of the highlights.
Can I ask a stupid question?
Why aren’t we weaponizing space?
You can charge more for digital amputation vs lopping off a finger.
We don’t believe in space.
I was in Buffalo in the middle of winter to train some nuns at a Catholic hospital on our software a long time ago.
All of a sudden, I felt this warmth on my upper lip.
Reach my hand up and it came away bloody.
Spontaneous nose bleed.
Excused myself and went to men’s room to try to stop the bleeding and clean up.
To this day, I wonder if the nuns thought I was a coke addict.
>>>You can charge more for digital amputation vs lopping off a finger.
CPT-4s FTW!
MJ, feel free to blast the fuck out of that idiot at Ace’s.
Hotspur, that reminds me that I need to meatup with the Cuffys.
I’m on salary so if you like your finger, meh, you can keep your finger.
Well, tell that fucktard that we miss him.
Why aren’t we weaponizing space?
We started to, but the Soviets were ahead of us in launchers, so it made sense to make a treaty to keep space nuke free.
>>>Why aren’t we weaponizing space?
*hits MJ with a vacuum
In a way, the Chinese are. They blew up a satellite as part of a “test” that nearly doubled the number of trackable space debris. A few more like that, and you can kiss GPS and anything in low Earth orbit goodbye.
>>>I’m on salary so if you like your finger, meh, you can keep your finger.
It’s just that kind of positive work ethic that is going to propel our healthcare system to the top!
Gravity:
Americans need to be rescued by the Ruskies and Chicoms.
But George Clooney dies. So there’s that.
MJ, feel free to blast the fuck out of that idiot at Ace’s.
————————
Nah. I just don’t think a circular firing squad is worth wasting the ammo.
*hits MJ with a vacuum
—————-
ISWYDT, AF.
Did you just call wiser an assfucker?
A few more like that, and you can kiss GPS and anything in low Earth orbit goodbye.
————————-
What if we launched mare into space? Would she be able to break free of Earth’s gravitational force?
I’m skeptical.
Yes.
I think that was Mare playing Ryan in Gravity.
She has an awesome ass.
>> MJ, feel free to blast the fuck out of that idiot at Ace’s.
What? What’d I do now?
Mare *is* Earf’s gravitational force.
Hotspur.,
its a tag w a bag of swag.
Dude…..
Fucking kindle!!
>>>What? What’d I do now?
No, not you. This time.
The anti-lawyer idiot.
I think Cuffy (and to some extent Rosetta) is embarking on a career in politics. And if he’s ever discovered hanging out in this shitholedump, he’s toast.
Interesting. Kindle will not allow you to say f a g. Auto corrects every time.
>> No, not you. This time.
The anti-lawyer idiot.
Oh, ok.
I don’t know who that is but as long as I’m good.
Hello Houston!
Eldest phatspawn called this afternoon after I got to the hotel. Water line froze and burst in the basement. Flooded.
She quickly googled ‘water main’, found it and shut it off. She’s a hero.
Rosetta is running forpublic office?????
Going down to the bar. Be back later.
>>>I don’t know who that is but as long as I’m good.
Yup, you’re safe.
And, AmishDude.
My MIL is on her way to a rehabilitation stay. Gallstones and COPD, now being compounded by Alzheimer’s. BIL on his way down to Orlando. Geez!
Phat, your daughter kicks ass.
Did anybody forget to cut the crusts off of anybody else’s sammich today?
Rosetta probably has a whole lot more than this shitholedump to worry about.
>>>Rosetta probably has a whole lot more than this shitholedump to worry about.
That sounded either ominous or very bad.
He’ll make a fantastic pubic officer.
I decided to actually do the thing where I accept all the adds on G+.
My RL friends are apparently exactly who I feared they were.
Good on Phatspawn 1.
Hey, dave, that podcast with you, Andy, and Peabody-Award-winning actor and international superstar Mr. Nick Searcy was fucking awesome.
Five out of five cans of Diet Dr Pepper.
The podcast gets better each time. Except it needs more Laura.
>>>What if we launched mare into space? Would she be able to break free of Earth’s gravitational force?
I think the bigger concern would be the conflict between the moon’s gravitational pull and that of mare’s ass.
AmishDude always has the hate on for lawyers
Something about childhood trauma. I believe..
Exactly TJ. I’m going with a divorce where he took it up the ass.
A lot of guys have been royally fucked over by the US court system.
And a lot of DC is lawyers, so it’s not hard to hate them as a class.
>>>He’ll make a fantastic pubic officer.
You misspelled “orifice.”
/xbrad
I see MJ and Wiser both stole the only jokes I had on tap today.
>>>I see MJ and Wiser both stole the only jokes I had on tap today.
The pressure’s on now, huh? Only 22 days left…..
Yep. Startin’ to sweat like Mare just thinking of walking up a flight of steps.
>> Hey, dave, that podcast with you, Andy, and Peabody-Award-winning actor and international superstar Mr. Nick Searcy was fucking awesome.
Thanks Sean, that was a shitload of fun. He was great. I am not sure which was better, us cracking up over our stupid shit or him putting up with my insolence.
I am going to check with wiser later on the appropriate use of a mute button when you have to cough.
>>>And a lot of DC is lawyers, so it’s not hard to hate them as a class.
It’s lazy and insulting to those of us with a JD.
Hey DiT, what was up with the audio on the last HQ podcast? Through the whole thing Gabe’s audio kept popping and clicking.
>>>Yep. Startin’ to sweat like Mare just thinking of walking up a flight of steps.
Or Car In waiting for the crackfat gym to open at 4:30am
It’s lazy and insulting to those of us with a JD.
Not saying I share the sentiment, just identifying some causes. It makes as little sense as hating “foreigners” or “engineers”.
>>>Or Car In waiting for the crackfat gym to open at 4:30am
I don’t want to talk about early morning trips to the gym.
*grumble grumble*
>>>leoncaruthers added you on Google+
YOU GO TO HELL! YOU GO TO HELL NOW!!!!
We’re not allowed to hate gays, Jews or Hispanics now, so of course we all hate lawyers.
YOU GO TO HELL! YOU GO TO HELL NOW!!!!
Yep, exactly who I feared they were.
>>>We’re not allowed to hate gays, Jews or Hispanics now, so of course we all hate lawyers.
You’re supposed to hate white people.
>>>It makes as little sense as hating “foreigners” or “engineers”.
You ridden Metro-North lately?
I hate both engineers and conductors.
>>>so of course we all hate lawyers.
Shakespeare says “up-twinkles”
I am white people.
In addition to being a racist, I commit the hatecrime of not being self-loathing.
Engineers and lawyers are the worst customers.
Scott is h8fully stereotyping. I’m an excellent customer. I trust the expertise of anyone who does a job every day over my own best guesses.
H8r.
>> Hey DiT, what was up with the audio on the last HQ podcast? Through the whole thing Gabe’s audio kept popping and clicking.
No idea. I only listen to the ones with me in em. And Humpy.
>>>Engineers and lawyers are the worst customers.
Unless you’re a mortician.
>>>I only listen to the ones with me in em. And Humpy.
*breathe
*breathe
*cough
*breathe
I’m not a big enough celebrity to be on the podcast. I’ll have to settle for calling in to the Wiserbud show.
I am not saying they are all bad Leon, just that there is something that draws superaholes into those professions.
When we get a really difficult customer, one we consider firing or actually do, they are almost always an engineer, lawyer, or from the Middle East.
>>>I’ll have to settle for calling in to the Wiserbud show.
*hires screener
Wiserbud has a show?
I am not saying they are all bad Leon, just that there is something that draws superaholes into those professions.
I think you’ve got us confused with middle management.
>> When we get a really difficult customer, one we consider firing or actually do, they are almost always an engineer, lawyer, or from the Middle East.
Big brain “I’m better than you” syndrome. Big brain “I’m better than you” syndrome. Pathetic man who’s never touched a girl’s boobie in love syndrome.
How’d I do?
>>>Wiserbud has a show?
Not since the donkey died.
/xbrad
“show” is kinda generous.
It’s an ad for Nagautuck with music.
>>I think you’ve got us confused with middle management.
Speaking of which, congrats on the promotion
>>>”show” is kinda generous.
It’s an ad for Nagautuck with music.
I really need to work on”un-funny”ing my /xbrad comments
I read that as *hires screamer.
And it made me feel good to know I wasn’t the only one.
Speaking of which, congrats on the promotion
Thanks, man. If this goes well I should make middle management next year and turn into a mega a-hole right on schedule.
Ace has a podcast and Wiser has a radio show.
Next, Wiser will have blog and Ace will be skywriting.
When we get a really difficult customer, one we consider firing or actually do, they are almost always an engineer, lawyer, or from the Middle East.
———————————
Hahaha. My dad’s closest friend is engineer, Iraqi, with an MBA.
>>>Next, Wiser will have blog and Ace will be skywriting.
Wait…..
Wiserbud.wordpress.com
Hostagerecipes.wordpress.com
AnimosityInternational.wordpress.com
Etc.
All I need now is a blimp.
He could do Scott’s job so much better than Scott. Just ask him.
I think you nailed the weirdo engineer part of it Dave. There are a lot of geek lawyers who have that …….DO YOU KNOW WHO YOU’RE MESSING WITH thing going on.
MJ, did you get my e-mail?
MJ, did you get my e-mail?
—————
I didn’t but I switched email account recently. You can use dbl.143.id at gmail thingy.
I think it’s the nature of the job Scott.. I remember asking our chief general counsel years ago if he would choose law again, and he said no, I’m tired of fighting people all the time. That’s all I do is fight. It’s just by nature adversarial.
Engineers, different. Just smart guys and gals who go from A to Z while we’re gettin to B and C.
At one point early in our friendship I think I assumed wiser was a lawyer.
This is pretty cool
http://www.theblaze.com/stories/2014/01/08/rock-band-invites-11-year-old-guitarist-onstage-what-he-does-next-blows-away-the-band-and-the-audience/
Okay, then check that one.
(you pain in the ass)
>>>>This is pretty cool
That kid is so gonna get laid.
Notice the bass player trying to horn in on his moment…..
Loser…
All I need now is a blimp.
Better be a peaceblimp.
Xbrad, we’ve covered this. Warblimp.
Let’s just say you score a 99 percentile on an aptitude test.
Would you take the test again?
>>>>Better be a peace blimp.
As opposed to the “piece blimp”
Aka: mare
>>>Would you take the test again?
No.
Why bother?
Guess what has two thumbs and a hunchback, and just scored in the (national) 99th percentile for aptitude in my chosen field?
>> *this gal* <<
OK, so Scott rooned it.
I’m thinking of taking the test again. He says there is no point.
I got a 92.7
That’s fucking shameful.
>> That’s fucking shameful.
I think you misspelled “awesome”. Deducts one more point.
Congrats ya goof.
>> Notice the bass player trying to horn in on his moment…..
intercept panties you mean.
It’s the only way
And my second test is nonrefundable. ALTHOUGH if I give up my spot, somebody else who might have lost their turn for the year might be able to get in there.
Suppose canceling is the humanitarian thing to do.
You can’t score higher than the 99th percentile.
But you can score higher than 92.7.
[i]You can’t score higher than the 99th percentile.[/i]
You can’t rank higher than 99th percentile, but you can score higher than a 92.7.
Wrong blog moron. *sigh*
I mean, that’s almost an A-.
But you can score higher than 92.7.
YOU GET ME.
But, hey, at least you didn’t dork up your italics.
>> Suppose canceling is the humanitarian thing to do.
Depends on how it impacts your immediate “who’ll hire me” score. Can you get some intel on that? Cause if people in the know think it is a factor I’d say go for it.
If not then you can be gracious or something.
Brad knows things.
>>>>> *this gal* <<
Color me….ummmm… What's the opposite of shocked?
I sincerely doubt employers are going to give a flying fignewton whether I got a 93 or a 98 on this thing, three or four years hence.
>>>That’s fucking shameful.
Why not 92.8?
Yeah, if I’d known that my college GPA was going to factor so highly into who’d interview me, I might have given more shits.
My first crack at the ASVAB, I scored in the 99th.
My second crack, 98.
College made me measurably stupider.
*cheek kiss to Wiser*
Fanks, man.
>>>Suppose canceling is the humanitarian thing to do.
Fuck ’em
I got a 92.7
That’s fucking shameful.
If you claim to be a “white hispanic” or something that score might get you into a decent grad school. Otherwise…..you’re fucked.
>>>My first crack at the ASVAB, I scored in the 99th.
My second crack, 98.
College made me measurably stupider.
Same here. I remember thinking at the time that it was the easiest test I’d ever taken.
The Army called me for years trying to get me to sign up.
Laura,
You Go, Girl!
Congratulations!
>>>Fanks, man.
Seriously, considering how your eyes were spinning around in their sockets yesterday, I’m surprised you spelled your name correctly.
That’s awesome, laura! Congrats!
College made me measurably stupider.
If you don’t kill a few million brain cells during your college years you’re prolly doing it wrong.
XBrad, isn’t the score on the ASVAB relative to the current cohort? Maybe you just took it with smarter people te second time.
Bcoch,
Yeah, I had the same problem. They said I could do what ever I wanted. I told them I wanted to fly Hueys(Long ago, they had lots of empty seats), they would not let me because I had marginal vision.
So it goes…
That’s what is bothering me. I felt terrible, which is why I scheduled the second test. The business was busy, I had another make-up test scheduled, and so I didn’t bother to hit the test prep materials.
Imagine how well I will do, when I’m feeling well, and do test prep.
That’s what my dad did, ChrisP. As xbrad suggested, I gotta get his stories down on tape or paper.
No, the ASVAB percentiles are versus a long term cohort. Not sure when they last adjusted it, but they don’t do it often. Like, maybe every generation or so.
Is marginal vision anything like butterface?
**massages hammie from stretching to far**
J’ames, a friend is reading a book on the A-6 Intruder, and came across my Dad’s name, telling some stories. And it just kills me we don’t have more.
PN,
No, It’s more like I could wear glasses, or not. If I did, I could not go into aviation. If I did not, then needed glasses later, that would be cool.
I fucked up.
>>>Imagine how well I will do, when I’m feeling well, and do test prep.
Don’t make the perfect the enemy of the good.
You’re set. Let it go, honey.
>> Imagine how well I will do, when I’m feeling well, and do test prep.
Do you mean “stab the proctor”? Cause I can imagine you doing that pretty good with some sleep and a good breffish.
Yannow, I hated those people who took the SATs repeatedly to get a better score.
You won. Stop now.
I only took the SAT once.
I only took the HIV once too. I passed, so I didn’t feel like taking it again would matter.
I only took it once too. Didn’t know I could
wintake it more than once.I was a junior, I could have taken it again.
Holy crap, adrenaline quit and ‘tired’ just fell on me like a ton of bricks. Goodnight boogers.
Gahd, I thought she’d never leave.
Back when I was a pup I didn’t know anybody who took the SAT more than once. It damned sure never occured to me. Of course, I grew up as a rural motherfucker. And went to a college that didn’t have just real high entrance requirements. That might have fucked up our basketball program.
Xbrad told me the Army would not take me at all now, as I am an aspie, 1 step removed from “Rainman”.
They did not have that restriction during Viet Nam. If you had a pulse, you were in!
So it goes…
You’re only an Aspie if 1. You take drugs for it, and 2. Tell the doctor.
You’re only an Aspie if 1. You take drugs for it, and 2. Tell the doctor.
This is why I don’t have depression.
I got a 600 in the math when I took the SAT’s and about that in Verbal
Years later, I took the GRE’s stone cold and scored an 800 in the math and over 750 in Verbal
You can’t tell me they haven’t dumbed down these tests…
Ha, I wonder if I’d get double digits on ACT if I took it today.
I could probably crush the SAT today. I took it back in ’92 before the dilution, and I did okay (670M 660V) then.
ACT, I got a 27 on the math, 30 on the Verbal, and 33s on the other two categories, which, I forget what they were.
and 33s on the other two categories, which, I forget what they were.
Masturbation and Latex I’d guess.
My sim partner for this month is a ginormous Minnesota guy.
Looks like Thor with short hair.
Someone wake up Cyn .
I’m not a small man and it will be a challenge to fit both of us in the 737 cockpit.
Yes, I will post a pic!
He’s a f-16 pilot from the Duluth guard unit. Nice guy. Also blessed with daughters.
ACT was Math, English, Science Reasoning, and Reading Comprehension.
I got a 31, 28, 34, and 35. I knew a guy who got a 36 on the Reading.
Nowadays I’m illiterate, though. I can barely maintain my attention long enough to watch YouTube videos longer than 5 minutes.
blerg
*ears perk, head tilts*
Did someone say “Thor”??
Comment by wiserbud, wuzong of the yuan. on January 8, 2014 10:21 pm
Yannow, I hated those people who took the SATs repeatedly to get a better score.
=========
Had this woman in several classes in college. She would audit a class, then, the next semester take it for a grade. That way she could get a perfect 4.0 GPA. JTFC, I could barely stand the courses once, but twice (3 times if she wasn’t sure!!)
Must have been nice to be able to afford to take a class twice.
The toothpicks propping my eyes open are starting to fail. G’night handsome and hawty peepers.
Congrats Lauraw! Congrats Leon!
I do not make new years resolutions. However due to a link here about improving ones self. I decided to take up my hobby of being a guitar player.
Holy Schnike! I paid $600 for a Les Paul Custom and $300 for a 67 Telecaster.
If I wanted to replace them I will have to work several months to replace them each.
Amps I paid $200 for are now $2000
Pedals are cheap now
oh
‘Cause I play guitar link
I can’t play a CD, let alone the guitar.
Hey, Vman, check out this 11 year old player:
Clintbird, are you gonna watch Chicago PD?
Heh…I found my MCAT test score report the other day. Damn, I did good on it. 11, 13, 14 and R, Q on the essays.
Probably not. I already have more shows to keep up with than time.
I’m gonna watch it just because it has Sophia Bush and her lovely ass.
11, 13, 14 and R, Q
Is Mundy having a stroke?
The sun is laughing it’s another broken morning
I see a shadow and call out to try and warn him
He didn’t seem to derp
Just turned away
The quiet fellow follows and points his fingers
Straight at you
He had to sacrifice his pride yes throw it all away
Good morning all!
Occupy airport. There is a lady sitting 15 feet away with headphones on, listening to the Pointer Sisters so loud the whole gate is grooving. Either she is stone deaf or they are not plugged in.
Heh. The guy who sat down next to her reached over and showed her the unplugged headphone cord.
Technology, how does it work?
Wow. How do you not notice your headphones aren’t plugged in?
“Why does it sound so tinny?”
I’m so excited!
And I just can’t hide it.
I’m about to lose control and I think I like it.
You guys have been chatty lately. Big comment totals.
You’re probably scaring off more lurkers. Way to go!
Time for another committee meeting.
Agenda: Deconstructing the Lurker Gap.
Who ordered the ice luge?
I ordered that. Buddy of mine is having a birthday and I figure he’ll get drunk enough to give us a great photo op.
Congrats to you Leon, I hope it is a nice raise for you and a smooth transition as to approach the paunch of middle management.
And Goodmorning, cool peeps.
Where’s bcock? It would be a good time for his intro poat.
No matter how shitty it is.
Agreed… I’m too tired to put out a top-notch poat today.
Topic for bcock to address:
http://tinyurl.com/m9edaks
New Pixies:
Video may induce seizures
INTRO POST!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
WTF, cheese boy?
The air was too damn dry.
We have a crappy little 6 room house and it absorbed over 2 gallons of water in about 12 hours.
I’ve decided to be a LIV. You guys better not ruin it for me with your links and insight. * shoplifts some smoked gouda and a nice brie*
The air was too damn dry.
Preach it, brother.
*buys more stock in Carmex and Chapstick*
* checks pot by stove *
3.5 gallons
I sniffed really hard in the car and felt moisture. Panicked that I was having a nosebleed.
Fortunately, I appear to have just inhaled the icicles that had formed in my mustache on the walk to the car.
wakey wakey
I just poated for the 43rd time! Come over and see!
I’m going to put up a post, so everyone can just wait with baited breath.
Oh, shit. I have a conference call. SAVED BY JAY!