MMM 102: Merry Christmas Eve Eve to you

Greetings, fellow revelers who — like me — are probably working this week. Upsides: your office is probably mostly empty, so this is almost certainly your best chance to photocopy your tush this year. Downsides: if your hiney breaks the copier and you get stuck, you might be there awhile.

Speaking of hineys…

This seems like a risky dance move.
It’s been too long since we had some high-quality snatch in one of these.
Does this really count as a skirt? It’s more like a wide belt worn low.
If gymnastics weren’t a thing, this would be a pretty creepy BDSM scene. Actually, I’m not sure gymnastics being a thing changes that anyhow.
I predict this lovely young lady will be voted “most likely tucker” this week.
I could do a bunch more of these, but it’s getting late on Sunday, and I’m
If you’re working this week, bless you for your labor and I hope your yoke is light. If you aren’t working this week, enjoy your vacation you lazy slacker.


  1. Wakey wakey.

  2. Still no power. The whole town is out. There are only two restaurants open, and even most of the fast food places are closed. Yesterday was crazy and
    I’m afraid today will be worse because we’ll have the small/Monday staff.

    The grocery stores, by some miracle, are open. Banks. ? No power.

  3. Fixin avatard

  4. Oh Carin, that sounds like it sucks. How are the roads? Is it mostly ice or ice with snow?

  5. Matching avatard complete.

    Srsly, it’s creepy. No power anywhere. Our two closest restaurants/ owned by the same guy in neighboring towns (15+ miles away ) are both w/I power as well.

  6. “Wide belt” wins the Tucker Award.

    The low angle shot gave him away.

  7. Roads are ok. Salt took care of that.

  8. We have one block of stuff open. By some miracle a walgreens opened up last night, despite no power all around it. It’s mostly blown transformers and stuff like that.

  9. I don’t really like snatches.

    Saturdays workout nearly killed me. Good thing, since I can’t work out again until I have some hope of a shower.

  10. So yours is one of the two restaurants open?? Will you go in?

  11. I’m scheduled , yesterday was hell. But I just got a message that the restaurant lost power at the end of the night. That might mean that we lost our grocery store too. Yikes .

  12. We had to run cards manually. No telephone, or TV. Everyone in a 30 mile radius looking for food. All day . I left at 5, and felt bad , but I doubled Saturday and it was just as busy. I’m scheduled for a double today . Hopefully I’ll get a text or something.

  13. Hugs and good warm thoughts coming your way, Carin.

  14. I bet one of the MMMs could help you chop firewood.

  15. I need water at this point . A bathtub filled with water so we could flush . I bought ten gallons of water yesterday but we need that for drinking /pets/ chickens.

  16. Oh goodie. One of the dogs is throwing up. What next ?

  17. Gym is closed, do no shower there . Laundrymat probably doesn’t have power or is packed ,

  18. Ugh, that’s awful, Car in. I hope you get power back.

    A couple years ago my side of the family went through this. Big snowstorm, knocked out the power. They had soup by candlelight for Christmas Eve. Oddly enough, they said church that year was the most beautiful service they could remember. No power, but all candlelight.

    Silver linings and $20 bills for all! And to all a good morning!

  19. You had a fireplace, right Car in?

  20. Work out complete. Browser cookies cleared.

  21. Car in, if you have containers large enough, you’re welcome to come here for water from my well. I know it’s far and heavy, but it’s there if you want it and it’s free.

  22. Also, I’m assuming you are on a generator.

  23. No fireplace. Nope. Leon, I’m gonna see if my son can hook the well up to a few batteries long enough to fill up some pots and pans .

  24. Our generator blew. The motor started and it was running , but something … Stopped working . Son says it isn’t the fuse. I dunno.

  25. Good job, Satchmo! Make sure you cool down after your strenuous morning.

  26. At least we’re saving on propane, right ?

  27. You could also just break the ice on your lake. That would be good enough water for livestock and toilet flushing.

  28. *nods at leon

    Good call!

  29. I could do that . I need more buckets.

  30. My son crapped in the woods last night. Said he dug a hole and everything .

  31. A regular Jeremiah Johnson there!

  32. Pooping in the woods killed it.

  33. That one next to last looks like it’s made out of leather

  34. Morning, children. Great job, Leon.

    No power sucks, Carin. Now this truly is a crap-tastic blog.

  35. Just found out the rest of lapeer -downtown, all the stores, restaurants list power sround 10:30 last night.

    How long until the cannabalism starts ?

  36. One nice thing about having the horses, I’ve got a lot of buckets. If I needed to get water out of your lake I’d rope a cinderblock and use that to break the ice, then lower a bucket with a brick in it to get water.

  37. Is it true they are changing Lapeer’s name to Donner Pass?

    I just heard that on MSDNC.

  38. If I needed to get water, I’d send her kids. Hilarity will ensue. Stand back and videotape it,

  39. You should rename your place Crap in the Woods Farm.

  40. Translate Crap in the Woods to an Indian language.

  41. Is your son’s name Bear?

  42. I like the second one’s hair. That’s the dramatic, wind-tossed wave of hair that looks so cool on other people, that when I try it, I look like Medusa.

  43. Comment by Cyn Tits McGhee on December 23, 2013 8:49 am

    Is your son’s name Bear?

    Hahahahahahahaha, for both the comment and the new name.

    Work time. I’ve already been warned that the power was out in the lab over the weekend, so I get to pull samples, weigh them, and restart the test.

  44. It’s likely only your own perception, Roamy, I’m sure it looks fine. Get Mr. RFHs opinion maybe.

  45. MOO-OOOOOM!! Pupster isn’t playing nice again!!!

  46. Just used my new aeropress for the first time. Coffee came out velly nice.

  47. Comment by Jay in Ames on December 23, 2013 8:46 am
    Translate Crap in the Woods to an Indian language.

  48. Ha ha ha.

  49. Pepe wins the internets for today.

  50. Car in, that really sucks. We’ve gone through that 3 times in the last couple of years. If you get the water going I can UPS you a Gas Grill Shower Solutions.

  51. Holy crap, Carin. Awful. Weather report for you says 14 degrees tonight and 4 degrees tomorrow night. Scott suggests draining your pipes and driving.

  52. It’s going to be 80 and might rain.

    *waits for sympathy

  53. My wife and I talked about moving to Guam yesterday after driving in the freezing rain.

    I’m not sure if we were kidding.

  54. *sends MJ a block of ice

  55. well since you’ve been working out, Guam won’t tip over.

    If it does you can just pick it up again.

  56. >> How long until the cannabalism starts ?

    You’re in the eastern time zone, right?

  57. *moves to Guam
    *walks around in weighted vest
    *hilarity ensues

  58. Comment by Car in on December 23, 2013 7:04 am

    I don’t really like snatches.

    *starts boycott of cArIn and all associated cArIn products*

  59. Leon, Guam sucks.

    Trust me on this.

    Glad to see we took the inevitable next step from Smart Pee Solutions tm to Smart Poop Blog.

    Kinda surprised it took that long.

  60. *moves to Guam
    *walks around in weighted vest
    *hilarity ensues

    Great morning laugh!


  62. Still have yet to hear from the lucky bastich that got my SS gift.

  63. Phat, opinions on American Samoa?

  64. Some nice Hostage, whom I have no clue as to their identity, sent me a beautiful set of stainless steel ice cubes, which is prescient, because I don’t put ice in my rum because I don’t like the taste of it watered down, but I like it cold.

    So, whoever you are, thank you veddy much.

  65. Yep,

    Guam is the place to be:

  66. Hotspur,

    You are welcome!

    I remember you mentioning many moons ago that you were a straight-up liquor aficionado!

  67. That was you, Phat?

    Well done!

  68. And sorry to take so long, but I wasn’t around last night – family Christmas.

  69. Going to see the live musical version of ‘Elf’ tonight with a group of about 12 friends.

    Only reason the husbands agreed to go is that we were promised the best BBQ in the world first:

    I also have no intention of being remotely sober.

  70. Hotspur,

    What can I say? I’m an enabler.

  71. Heh.

  72. $20 if you wear green tights to the showing.

  73. We can’t because of the dogs. No place for two, not very friendly, shepherds.

  74. Heading to St. Louis in the morning, Christmas with the inlaws!!

    *looks at airfare to Guam*

  75. Unless you mean we should live in our car. Which is where I right now .

  76. Starting to pack for the trip to Mexico today.

    Have to kennel the dogs. It’s an awesome kennel, but it still makes me sad.

  77. Gland,

    Have you eaten at Pappy’s? Going there this afternoon!

  78. Nah Phat, never have. We stay out on a farm in Illinois (Bethalto) and don’t make it in to the big city that often.

  79. Don’t forget to say a prayer for these studs!

  80. Car in, I’ve got a fenced yard they could hang out in. The barn stall they could use (attached to said yard) currently has a pair of feline tenants, but I could move them.

  81. Went to my daughter’s house yesterday. She lives about 30 miles north of here. Trees were covered with ice, but they didn’t lose power. We didn’t have any ice at all in Ann Arbor.

    Sorry you’re without power, Carin.

  82. GLand,

    You’re real close to me.

    I’m in Glen Carbon.

  83. Comment by leoncaruthers on December 23, 2013 10:18 am
    The barn stall they could use (attached to said yard) currently has a pair of feline tenants, but I could move them.
    Why spoil their fun?

  84. Wow, Carin has the worst of it. Remember eat the young first, they’re the most tender.

  85. I’ll be, I know right where that is.

  86. Why spoil their fun?

    The cats have a rental agreement and their lease says “no dogs”. Them’s the rules.

  87. Car in, you and the dogs should just show up on Hotspur’s doorstep.

  88. Leon, could you imagine Carin’s dogs staying somewhere without their people? For any length of time? They would be dead of anguish in two days.

  89. Carin and her family are welcome. Leon gets the dogs.

  90. We stay out on a farm in Illinois (Bethalto) and don’t make it in to the big city that often.

    What Gland means is that they don’t let GLAND in the big city that often.

  91. For two humongous shepherds, they are the biggest insecure mama’s boy pussies I have ever seen.

  92. But of course, at least they’re not total assholes, like my dog.

  93. Unfortunately, I’ve only got one spare bedroom, but someone could stay with the puppies and I have room enough (and enough eggs) for everyone to have breakfast here on Christmas if need be. Y’all can even come to mass at St. Anthony’s if you like.

  94. Of course, if the power is still out two days from now, Lapeer will already have devolved into dog-eating, so it might be academic.

  95. From Ace’s War on Women post this morning:

    Here’s a better measure of what people think about the Affordable Care Act: 63% of respondents think that it’s going to make their health care cost more, compared to only 28% who think it will stay the same — and only 7% who think it’s going to make it more affordable. The last time CNN polled on that question was September 2009,

    Really? Four fucking years since CNN last polled the question? A good part of the magic of media bias is knowing what questions to not ask.

  96. Gosh, I hope Carin’s not trying to call me or email me. My office precludes both because they don’t trust us with webmail.

    But they do with facechimp, linkedin, and any number of other time-wasters.

  97. Carin’s family will be a force to be reckoned with in the new Mad Max style dystopian Lapeer.

  98. Maybe she’s out practicing with her bladed boomerang.

  99. GLand,

    Swing in to Fast Eddie’s for me when you’re in town.

    It’s an epic biker bar, but read that menu/prices and tell me you wouldn’t freaking live there.

    Back when I had my Harley I was there every weekend.

  100. I suspect Car In is out trying to monetize the chickens.

    They will be the main form of currency in the ‘dark days’.

  101. I read a long article about bitcoins yesterday. I have no better idea what the hell they are than I did before I read the article.

  102. I vaguely understand them, Hotspur. They are still fundamentally a fiat currency at the core, but with the advantage that no entity can inflate the supply.

    The Fallout currency of Nuka-Cola bottlecaps makes more sense, but they’re hard to trade on the interwebs.

  103. Phat, my Fil hangs out there regularly. He is the Sec. of his local HOG chapter and that is one of their regular haunts. I’ve been there a couple of times, when he’s not too ashamed to be seen with me in public that is.

  104. Swing in to Fast Eddie’s for me when you’re in town.

    Looks like a fun place. They advertise on the Cardinal’s baseball games.

  105. Carin’s family will be a force to be reckoned with in the new Mad Max style dystopian Lapeer.

    *imagines Car in out on the roof with a flamethrower.

  106. Rain is still falling here at 28 degrees creating an ice covered mess. The plow guy left a 12 foot strip of frozen snow next to the garage doors we had to remove by hand before it froze into a layer of concrete tomorrow. He hit my garage a while back and ripped off a few boards so now he’s a little gun shy.

  107. Haven’t lost power yet. Kids are still able to shit in the toilet.

  108. If I absolutely had to choose between fucking wide belt girl and Michelle Obama, I’d choose……….wide belt girl. But I’d close my eyes, grit my teeth, and wear a set of brass knucks.

  109. He hit my garage a while back and ripped off a few boards so now he’s a little gun shy.

    Wow, how close is your garage to the road?

  110. GLand,

    About the only other place we go up that way for is Castelli’s, but it’s been a while.

    While you’re here come down to Cleveland-Heath in ‘downtown’ Edwardsville.

    It is awesome. Amazing food and it’s not near as expensive as it should be given the quality.

    I’ve had the burger, the pork porterhouse, and the pulled pork. All are great. Get the Brussel sprouts as a side. I normally hate brussel sprouts, but these are something special. I suspect they’re laced with crack.

    Wife and I go there often. They sell Stag for $2 a can so the FiL will be at home.

  111. Jay, it’s way back from the road. It’s at the end of a long driveway attached to the house. There is a piece of granite that acts to hold crushed rock from sliding off the hill it’s on. He hit the rock which in turn hit the garage and caused the boards to peel off. I didn’t make him pay and the guy who built the garage fixed it in the spring at my cost. Maybe he knows I won’t be as understanding next time.

  112. So has everyone guessed who their SS is, or are folks still figuring that out? It was fun seeing all of the cool stuff everyone got last night!

    Car in, hope you guys get power back soon. Sounds like all you folks up north got hit pretty hard. At least when we get ice down here it is fairly mild.

    Internet service is slow here, but wanted to pop in and wish everyone a Merry Christmas

  113. I have absolutely no idea who my SS was! It was a digital gift via amazon of 2 albums and a song. I’ve been playing them at work for the past month but there’s no way of knowing from who they came from.

    Was it you TiFW?!

  114. Not me, Jimbro. I was glad to see that my victim liked what they received, though!

  115. I think my SS thinks someone else gave them their present….

  116. TIFW, have you put batteries in your ss gift yet?

  117. I had Russ. I thought he could build that thing with his son. I saw it on puppy blender and was hoping whomever I got would be a good target for that.

  118. Did you see his response, Car in?

  119. My husband and I are going to tag team the dogs. He’ll stay with them tonight and I’ll stay with them tomorrow. Rest of the family has bugged out to mil’s house. Kids just left. I’m waiting to see if my work gets power, because owner wants to open. @@

  120. Yep, I did. Funny he had a similar thing . He’d better put them both together now .

  121. PG, my SS gift got lost in the mail. It’s OK, though, as my gifter has done a lot for Rebecca’s school already – that is more than gift enough for me.

    I had lots of fun putting me giftee’s loot together. Because of their unique blogger name, I was able to get creative.

  122. Where’d everyone go?

  123. *runs through blog*

    *waves to Teresa*

  124. I just purchased a crown roast of pork for tomorrow night’s dinner, and 1.5 lbs. of beef tenderloin for Beef Wellington on Christmas.


  125. D.G. likes to share her big sister Violet’s bed!

    Violet's bed

  126. 1%

  127. She’s a cutie, Chief. You guys getting together for Christmas?

  128. We were expecting 8 people for dinner Christmas Eve, but now it’s only going to be 5, so looks like we’ll have some leftovers.

  129. Pupster – No. Video chatting Christmas this year. We’re going up in mid-January for a short visit though.

  130. You can feed Car in’s kids.

  131. Maybe I’ll invite some muslims over.

  132. Poor Violet. Pushed aside…

  133. Boss let me take vacation. Woo hoo!

  134. Today’s workout should not have been as hard as it was. The week off cost me some progress.

  135. looks like you all had an awesome SS party last night (except Car In, who got mared.) Some great gifts in there, but then, you funny bastards never disappoint.

    By the way, pic # 5 looks like a great way to dry your gymnasts after hosing them off.

  136. D.G. likes to share her big sister Violet’s bed!

    That kid has an awesome smile.

    You sure she’s related to you, MCPO?

  137. I’d like to hose down a few gymnasts…

  138. Good morning. Were we supposed to reveal our SS identities somewhere on/in the gifts we sent? I did, but it seems like most didn’t.

  139. The USPS refused to send mine without a return name and address, so it would have been an easy guess. I felt like it was okay to just admit it.

  140. You were supposed to try to be anonymous until after things were opened.

  141. Same here, Leon.

  142. Yeah, I waited until Tom took the picture of the mug and told us he worked at Purdue — which I hadn’t known, and makes it much funnier — before I confessed.

  143. I just printed out my mailing label at home, then put a sticker with a different return address on it before mailing it off. Since we put it in the chute at the post office, no one was the wiser.

    And since the USPS has the official info on file, I figure they know where I live if there’s a problem.

  144. Ah well, next year. I confessed in the card that went with it.

  145. no one was the wiser.


  146. I’d like to hose down a few gymnasts…


  147. hey, does anyone have a favorite Christmas song that they would like to play tomorrow?

    Can’t be too out of the mainstream, but I can slip a few lesser-known songs in for ya if you like.

  148. I really like Burl Ives singing “Holly Jolly Christmas”. It’s upbeat and happy, brings back good memories from childhood.

  149. All That I Want by The Weepies

  150. All That I Want by The Weepies

    say whut now?

  151. I hate this one: “Rocking around the Christmas tree, it’s a happy holi- (hock, hock) -day”.

  152. say whut now?

    You asked for Christmas favorites. That’s one of mine.

  153. nice one, Hotspur.

    Got it.

  154. I hate this one: “Rocking around the Christmas tree, it’s a happy holi- (hock, hock) -day”.

    Sadly, I have to play the standards too, but I think I can avoid that one.

  155. I really like Burl Ives singing “Holly Jolly Christmas”. It’s upbeat and happy, brings back good memories from childhood.

    It shall be done.

  156. It shall be done.

    weeeee! Thank you.

  157. Jaimee Paul’s The Man With The Bag, Wanda Jackson’s Merry Christmas Baby, Faith Hill’s A Baby Changes Everything, Bing Crosby’s Do You Hear What I Hear, Celtic Woman’s Away In A Manger is especially lovely.

    Not trying to toot my horn, Wiser, but if you go to my blog, there are 25 days’ worth of all sorts of different Christmas songs….

  158. Dan put my Christmas Mix on the speaker this morning. It is heavily country with a little bit South Park. Perry Como, Dean, and Frank are on another Christmas Mix. I have 3 other Christmas Mixes that he could have played…but NOOOOOOO! He has to play the one that he can snark through until I get pissed and turn it off.

  159. O Holy Night – Celtic Woman

  160. Type in “Advent Calendar” in the search box to get all 25 days’ worth – some of this year’s haven’t been published, but they are just copies from years past.

  161. Or Perry Como’s version.

  162. Susan Rice is the female Obama. Or perhaps Obama is the female Rice.

    Not sure.

  163. Wham-Last Christmas. Mcpo knows why.

  164. Susan Rice has just a wee bit more Pali love than TFG. Wee bit.

  165. Have Yourself a Merry Little Christmas – Judy Garland

  166. The Christmas Shoes.

  167. O Holy Night – Celtic Woman

    Already got that one, as well as Josh Groban’s version. Also a couple of TiF’s suggestions.

    Just wanted to pick your brains to see if I missed anything.

    I’ve realized that there are about 30 good Christmas songs that have been covered by about 750 different people.

    I got 5 hours to fill and just playing everyone’s version of White Christmas probably wouldn’t go over so well.

  168. I have an O Holy Night that I found by accident a couple of years ago – ethereally beautiful. I think it’s on the December 24th post. And of course The Mormon Tabernacle Choir’s Hallelujah Chorus is a must-play…

  169. “Away in a Manger”, oooh, haven’t heard that one in many years.

    Two mentions of Celtic Woman – have to look her up. Unfortunately, my computer is on its last legs and seizes up when I try to play music. Come on Christmas computer gift, arrive soon.

  170. Only if you play Patton Oswald’s The Christmas Shoes first….

  171. Mrs Peel was tweeting Angels We Have Heard On High this AM.

  172. Susan Rice is the one who wants to invade Israel and take it over.

  173. Tifw, I don’t think he can play Patton Oswalt or any of the South Park songs. Blah blah FCC blah blah

  174. Christmas at Ground Zero.

  175. Merry Christmas From the Family.

  176. CW’s Away In a Manger is the “alternate” version – there are two distinct tunes for that song, believe it or not. Both equally beloved. Who knew?

    You’re a Mean One Mr. Grinch is another favorite :-)

  177. waiting for the country fans to chime in here…

  178. I snuck this in on Saturday’s show.

  179. seriously, if the … thing .. on the right is what you are attracted to, can you honestly call yourself a lesbian?

  180. Wiserbud,

    My lovely SS sent me a bonus CD from a Vegas show band called ‘The Phat Pack’.

    It included a bonus holiday song. Give me a moment to play it.

    What’s the best way to get it to you? Email, dropbox, or H2 media folder?

  181. TiFW,

    UPS says my shipments to Dallas were delayed 3 days d2 backlog from the ice storm.

  182. Wiserbud,

    I’ll post it Youtube if it’s decent. stand by.

  183. Scud missile

  184. I’ll post it Youtube if it’s decent. stand by.

    Probably the easiest. And if it is any good, I guarantee I will play it. Will even let you know which 1/2 hour so you can listen for it.

  185. You’re a Mean One Mr. Grinch is another favorite

    ummmmmmm ——————–>

  186. Gene Autry-Anything, George Strait-Christmas Time in Texas, Alan Jackson-Let It Be Christmas. Rats, gotta go to work

  187. ‘Christmas Shoes’?

    Oso is cruisin’ for a bruisin’.

  188. Parenting 101:

  189. Christmas by Darlene Love

  190. phat, check the mail. I’m gonna delete your comment above.

  191. Wiserbud,

    It’s a big file (TWSS). Uploading to YouTube now.

    My SS managed to get this Vegas act to give me two VIP show tickets! Once I manage to relearn how to fly the 737 I can’t wait for my next Vegas layover!

  192. My SS managed to get this Vegas act to give me two VIP show tickets! Once I manage to relearn how to fly the 737 I can’t wait for my next Vegas layover!

    dayum… next year, I want your SS.

    Oso is cruisin’ for a bruisin’.

    First person who suggests Dominick the Donkey gets banned.

  193. Double-booked in evening Christmas parties tonight, and working tomorrow.


  194. >> UPS says my shipments to Dallas were delayed 3 days d2 backlog from the ice storm.


    Oh, hey wiser, how about Elvis’ “Blue Christmas”?

  195. Oh, hey wiser, how about Elvis’ “Blue Christmas”?

    Already got it.

  196. Do you have a cover of it?

  197. What time is the show?

  198. Good one, MCPO.

  199. I played Blue Christmas, Music Box Blues and Please Come Home for Christmas back to back before I realized…

    damn, no wonder people get depressed at Christmas

  200. What time is the show?

    1-6 tomorrow.

  201. Good one, MCPO.

    MCPO remembers playing that song for his grandkids when it was first released.

  202. Wiserbud, no Christmas show would be complete without:

  203. Wiser – Whatever you do, don’t play, “Celebrate Me Home”.

  204. Do you have a cover of it?

    Isn’t all Christmas music basically covers?

    But yes. Yes we do.

  205. The show is 1-6. at 6:00:03, you can expect to hear this:

  206. Wiser,

    Let me know if the dropbox thing worked. If not I’ll try another route.

    Guaranteed to be the only one in the country to play it.

  207. >> I played Blue Christmas, Music Box Blues and Please Come Home for Christmas back to back before I realized…

    ease up Ripley you’re just grinding gears.

  208. Let me know if the dropbox thing worked. If not I’ll try another route.

    Got it. It’s hilarious, but I don’t think I can play it.

    Sorta dances a little too close to the line.

    S’gonna go on my playlist, but unfortunately, I doubt the station manager would appreciate it in the same way.

    Thanks anyway, dude.

  209. Wiser, Julie Andrews’ In the Bleak Midwinter, if you’re looking for something quiet and reflective. The earlier version is the best – check my YouTube video for a link to that version; I’m away from my computer, or I would send you my copy.

  210. Julie Andrews’ In the Bleak Midwinter

    Okay, that’s on the list.

    Nice one, TiF.

  211. Hahahahahaha

    Ace just poated something so fucking old it farts dust.

  212. I’ll break SS silence now…

    Wiser, ask Phat for the e-mail address of the contact person from The Phat Pack – his name is Bruce Ewing – they may have a “cleaner” version you can play on the radio. They might even give you an interview….

    Just tell them that you are one of the people on the blog with the crazy lady who was putting together a special Secret Santa present for a retired Air Force veteran; he seems like a sweet guy!

  213. Wiser,

    Can you go with “Embrace the Hate” as a motto for Animosity Int’l.? It works for me.

  214. they may have a “cleaner” version you can play on the radio.

    Oh, it’s clean, but it doesn’t really fit with the format of the station.

    Can you go with “Embrace the Hate” as a motto for Animosity Int’l.? It works for me.

    Love it.

  215. Is Leon around?

  216. I’m good with that.

  217. I have mere moments before departure for the scaled-down-yet-again company Christmas party.

  218. Can you go with “Embrace the Hate” as a motto for Animosity Int’l.? It works for me.

    *subscribes to Pepe’s newsletter again*

  219. For Leon only: Merry Christmas

  220. Hayley Westenra’s Coventry Carol, then.

    Or Barbra Streisand’s (I know, I know…) I Wonder as I Wander is along the lines of some of the other songs I listed

  221. I’m thinking about adding a little content when I see news about regional conflicts that don’t erupt into much-needed violence. The recurring line will be “sadly, cooler heads prevailed”.

  222. Thanks, Pepe. She’s blessed.

  223. The recurring line will be “sadly, cooler heads prevailed”.


    Yeah, I’m wondering if Embrace the Hate works better as a motto or as the welcome message.

    I’ve got it set up to always show the initial screen when you go there, which includes Leon’s brilliant ad (which I guarantee will not be allowed on the air.)

  224. Greetings, anatomically-correct snowmen.

  225. Animosity International.

    We’re not Happy ’til You’re not Happy!

  226. Of course, Phat’s employer would sue for copyright infringement.

  227. We’re not Happy ’til You’re not Happy!

    Ha! You trying to earn points for January a bit early or what?!

  228. I’m just trying to keep my skills from atrophying.

  229. Anyone seen my pants?

  230. Wiser, here’s a fun one for your “country collection”

  231. Pants are for quitters.

  232. I’m watching Duck Dynasty for the first time and the family is udderly charming.

  233. Siamese twins walk into a bar in Canada and park themselves on a bar stool.

    One of them says to the bartender, “Don’t mind us; we’re joined at the hip. I’m John, he’s Jim. Two Molson Canadian beers, draft please.”

    The bartender, feeling slightly awkward, tries to make polite conversation while pouring the beers. “Been on holiday yet, lads?”

    “Off to England next month,” says John. “We go to England every year, rent a car and drive for miles. Don’t we, Jim?” Jim agrees.

    “Ah, England !” says the bartender. “Wonderful country… the history, the beer, the culture…”

    “Nah, we don’t like that British crap,” says John. “Hamburgers and Molson’s beer, that’s us, eh Jim? And we can’t stand the English – they’re so arrogant and rude.”

    “So why keep going to England ?” asks the bartender.

    “It’s the only chance Jim gets to drive.”

  234. BOO. HISS.

  235. That’s retarded, sir.

  236. These are pretty good. If you’re a nerd.

  237. guess I’m a nerd

  238. Sean M. – Saw those this morning and laughed and laughed and laughed!

  239. Terrible. Just awful.

  240. Just saw a pic of MCPGrouchy’s granddaughter. She is an adorable baby girl. Very happy for you MC.

  241. DinT – Thanks, man. She fills my blackened little heart!

  242. I didn’t know you was Cajun, Chief.

  243. ^ ha!

  244. Rocketboy is drinking wine from a Blue’s Clues glass. Bad mom or redneck?

  245. Both.

    Nice work, RFH.

  246. Weren’t we talking about Spurwing the other day? He shows up here.

  247. Did anybody get stuck in anybody else’s chimney today?

  248. That was disturbingly sane, roamy.

  249. Interesting scanner call:

    UPS driver is waiting in his truck in a church parking lot. Saw people stealing package he dropped on porches.
    Dismounted and chased them.
    Three young males(late teens) and a young female.

    He has the loaded pistol they dropped and the address they went to. He’s waiting for the cops.

    He’s damned lucky they did not shoot him.
    He’s very brave.
    He will probably get fired tomorrow.

    Merry Fookin’ Christmas…

  250. But what about his balls? Are they hairless?

  251. Chrispy… Merry Christmas to you and AnitaP.

    Stay warm.

  252. Too good to save

  253. I been waitin’ all day for Monday Night

  254. Hotspur can use this one

  255. Too cool

  256. Wrestling, Cyn?

  257. >>>But what about his balls? Are they hairless?

    Something very very wrong with you.

  258. Exactly

  259. Whose balls of which are we inquiring about hairlessness?

  260. For Cyn

  261. Until I started singing in a Chorale, I watched every week, with my wife. We kind of got tired of the “John Cena is a goody two-shoes so let’s beat up on him” schtick. We even went to a couple of the matches that were in Indy.

  262. Thanks, MJ.
    Merry Christmas to you, too.
    “Once you’ve smoothed your sack, you’ll never go back!”

    And, Merry CHRISTmas to all the inhabitants and lurkers of this hive of scum and villainy!

  263. Nice manfix – thanks Pepe. I mean other than the dudes in this poat. NTTAWWT.

  264. *flexes and hip thrusts at Cyn*

  265. *falls out of chair, conks head on desk, goes unconscious before I can get out the words, “Your fly’s open”*

  266. Wiser, they play this one at Home Depot every 45 minutes or so. I sing along and substitute crappy and crappiest, for happy and happiest.


  268. *draws mustache on unconscious Cyn*

  269. *looks at zipper down*

    *looks at unconscious Cyn*

  270. Scott
    That is one creepy song
    I wonder..
    Did Bing Crosby sing this when he was beating his sons with tire tools?

  271. >> “Once you’ve smoothed your sack, you’ll never go back!”

    Uh. I did that once in prep for the Big V and I ain’t ever doing it again.

    I looked rigoddamneddiculous standing with one foot on the toilet with a hand mirror and a safety razor.

  272. Sean
    Some etiquette I learned when I worked in the ER:
    It’s considered impolite to cop a feel when a woman is unconscious

  273. Hey, I just drew a mustache on her. It’s bcock who’s about to become the impetus for a Take Back The Night rally here.

  274. >>>I looked rigoddamneddiculous standing with one foot on the toilet with a hand mirror and a safety razor.



  275. Wow. About 6 months ago a relative of Aaron Hernandez died in a freak car accident. The car flew about 100 feet through the air and into a country club. There was a women in the car that survived.

    A couple months later an uncle died in a freak scooter accident.

    Yesterday, the lady who survived the first car accident died in a one car accident.

    Nobody suspects foul play.

  276. *takes a bow*

    Mrs Dave offered but she raked her leg shaving that morning and I saw the cut.

    I said “oh thanks honey, I got this”

  277. What the fuck?

    Did a Hernandez family reunion cheat Death or something?

  278. Scott
    Sounds suspicious
    Did anyone die in a bizarre gardening accident?

  279. Two of the accidents were at the bottom of a long hill. hmmmmm I wonder why that guy who got shot in the face doesn’t want to press charges?,0,2061519.story

  280. If you google that address, you can see our former dumpster.

  281. HA HA and if you go to Main St, and turn right you will see our sign.
    And to the right is The Banglar Party Van.

  282. That’s crazy Scott. Surely all the witnesses can’t die.

  283. He’s a bad man with a ton of money.

    I would not be surprised if he walks.

  284. Everybody dies. And don’t call him Shirley.

  285. I was zip tied in that van.

    I woke up to, horrors.

  286. I think I found some early Mare Christmas video

  287. Moped accident. A hell of a way to die.

  288. It happens all the time.

  289. I’m calling Alex Jones on this
    I suspect Reptilians

  290. There are a million moped accidents in the naked city…

  291. Epic. Nap.

  292. Oh, goody! Antiques Roadshow tonight!

    //kill me nao.

  293. You napped when you should have been sniffing glue.

  294. I napped *by* sniffing glue.

  295. When I was nine years old me and dad built a balsa and paper Fokker Triplane.

    I should have opened a window when I was treating the wings.

  296. I picked this week to give up sniffing glue.

  297. Idiot.

  298. Oh, like that’s an exclusive title here…

  299. Funny riffing going on amongst the dudes tonight.

  300. Wow.

    Kinda slow…

  301. I never understood the glue thing. I mean, it smelled ok I guess, but I always just ended up with a bunch of paste up my nose.

  302. Lippy!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

  303. Wow.

    Kinda slow…

    I was catching up.


  304. Rotisserie Guy at the Club just got a FT job picking up corpses at remotes. (He was PT, non-Albuquerque pickups are called remotes) I h8 being in the break room when he’s telling stories. He’s worse than my cop cousin used to be.

  305. Don’t you Lippy!!! me.

  306. //licks window

  307. Unless — Unless you wrote your comment before you saw my comment.

  308. I’ll “Lippy” you and you’ll damn well like it.

    Send me a text. Still have my number?

  309. threw it away

  310. hahahaha

  311. Can’t say I blame you.

  312. Quick note: thoroughly enjoying my India visit.

    Also, this:

    Mark Steyn rips his editor a brand new asshole.

    I never ever thought about embracing teh ghey. But I might consider it for Steyn.

  313. I can’t believe you sent that pic via text, Lippy.

  314. Hey Tushar!! Steyn is one of my secret fantasies. I even had an explicit dream about him. It was great!

  315. Xbrad, it was my friend’s pic. She is desperate for male company. ANY male company.

  316. Tushar! Merry Christmas. How’s things in the home country? Are the kids having fun?

  317. True story, I was in love with Steyn even before I saw what he looked like.

  318. Absolutely agree with Tushar! Steyn is the man. That editor that tried to justify his own pussification was asking for it.

  319. Pretty much every contributor to NRO has posted something that either explicitly or implicitly says Steyn’s editor is a retard.

  320. Retard is such a hurtful word.

  321. We don’t hardly ever think of you as a retard, Sean.

  322. I liked what Ace had to say about the R word today.

  323. Hi Oso – haven’t been there today. Checking.

  324. I was called “Retard” my whole life, until Rainman came out. Then, my nickname became Rainman. I know for a fact there are quite a few Rainmen who comment here.

  325. hahaha, from Ace’s: “Okay that dress is kind of tight. And she doesn’t just have the badankadonk, she’s got the badonkadonkadonk. Adonk.

    To motorboat her would require an actual motorboat.”

  326. Why’d they call YOU a retard?

  327. Lippy, when Ace tweeted the “Motorboat” comment, I shot Coke Zero out my nose.

  328. I have socialization issues. I don’t pick up facial cues and have a tendency to blurt inappropriate comments. I was always considered “Off”. I used to spend a lot of time in study carrels in class so I wouldn’t distract others. I spent most of my 6th and 7th grade years in the library instead of class, because my teachers didn’t want to deal with me.

  329. Oh my gosh, I was too. Except it was vodka and Peach Fresca.

    And I can see you as Rainman in the sense that you are super-smart. That’s different and different must be mocked in school.

  330. I was kind of a bully. I couldn’t tie my shoes, but I read at a 5th grade level in 1st grade. I spent a lot of time with the Principal.

  331. People, I have spotty third world internet access, so sorry for the sporadic hit and run comments.
    We are having lot of fun here. The cows crowding the living room is getting a bit bothersome.

  332. I have a pretty good memory. At work, I have to make an effort not to remember phone numbers, SSNs, and birthdays. It kind of freaks people out when you use their phone number to find a membership and you haven’t helped them in 3 mos.

  333. Merry Christmas, Tush. Hug a cow for me.

  334. Well hell, sorry hon, that must have been awful to have to deal with that sort of stuff at that age. Right when we most care about what other people think of us.

  335. I would invite kids over to play and for sleepovers, because that was what “Normal” kids did. Then I’d ignore them and read and let them play with my siblings. I’d still rather read than talk.

  336. Hey Tushar, what Oso said!

    (okay, glad my keyboard is acting up and what was originally typed was “Hey Tushar, shat Oso said)

  337. I don”t know, Oso, that remembering numbers thing is a huge skill. You have probably already considered playing blackjack…

  338. I’ve missed you, Lippy. Glad you’re back. When I was in FL in October, we went to Primanti’s. Had a Yuengling. Thought of yinzer. (Did I say that right? Is it just yinz?)

  339. Hahaha, my brother has a better memory than me. He plays blackjack. My Dad used to make us play poker for our allowance. I get severely stressed when I game. I REALLY wanted my $2.

  340. Aarg, trying to figure out how to write how it is said. Moment.

  341. OK, maybe yinz is the right way to spell it. If you say it while remembering that it is short for you ‘ens. Yes, that should be it.

    And the plural is yinzes. (think, but don’t completely say: You ‘enses)

  342. I’ve missed you too. Glad to be back.

  343. Pittsburghese is a pretty cool regional dialect. The first time Dan met my Buckeye family, he thought they talked funny too.

  344. What kind of heathen place is Dan from?!

  345. He was born and raised in Albuquerque. The first time we were in Alabama and Mississippi, I had to translate for him. It was kind of funny.

  346. From the TMI dept, when my hormones get out of whack, my iron levels drop and my Blood Glucose rises. I’ve been even spacier than usual this wknd.

  347. There’s a derp outside your window
    And it’s a derp of dread and fear
    Where the only water flowing is the bitter sting of tears
    And the Christmas bells that ring there
    Are the clanging chimes of doom
    Well tonight thank God it’s them instead of you

  348. TMI in return, oh yeah, know what you’re talking about with the hormones. We are the same age, but I don’t have the diabeetus.

    I just sweat and so forth. My hair has gone from stick straight to curly so that with the right haircut I can let it air-dry and it looks faabulous.

    But the MS hitting at the same time is not fun either. Spacy — sistah!! *thunk*

  349. Sean’s getting a hit of girly hormones. Run! Run!

  350. I had to find out about the diabeetus and the Glucose spike from my pharmacist. My hair gets curly at sea level. It is weird. I go from Flower Child to Curly Sue upon landing in Cali or FL. My grey hairs curl more than my dishwater blonde.

  351. Sean went to Cal. (Still don’t know how he’s not a commie)

  352. A few Christmases ago, a friend gave me a mouth harp for Christmas, because I’m a Red Neck. Now, he justifies me being a Red Neck, because I have a mouth harp.

  353. Good night from sea level. Muah.


  354. Why do we qualify “Cat Lady” with the “Crazy”?

  355. G’night, Lippy. We made it past the “Derp”

  356. Wakey wakey.

  357. Occupy shitty airport.

  358. Safe travels MJ

  359. Morning, children.

  360. GNU POAT

  361. Watching an episode of La Patrona and then heading in to be lonely at work.

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