On the fly… and since it’s on the fly, you-know-who is featured:

I would still hit that like a screen door in a hurricane. Or something.

Important, hunky update. Leon’s clothing weighs more than your clothing.


  1. Oh yes I would.

  2. Always liked Tom Selleck, back to the Magnum PI days.

    For different reasons, of course.

  3. That zero hedge article is really good, Car in.

  4. Let me distill my ramblings:

    The can just called me and said, ‘look buddy, you can only kick me so far.’

  5. That’s really what irritates me about this Ryan “deal”.

    The sequester, no matter how small, was the first time in years we actually cut something. As in spent less money.

    And now everyone on both sides are blaming it for all the bad things happening, and want to repeal it? Come on, give me a break. Ryan IS a sellout. It goes against what he was trying to do with his budget. As MJ said, fuck fees. It’s just another word for TAX.


    At least Ted Cruz tried to stand up for his beliefs.

  6. And you have a good day too, Cyn!

  7. I could support an additional 10% fee on government salaries.

    Even 15%.

  8. Leon is usually around in the AM. Did the zombie possum finally come after him?

    Went straight to work this morning with no coffee stop on the couch. That’s what happens when I sleep until 8am.

    And thus I cannot look at Pepe’s bait picture.

  9. Is it really a fee, or a tax, since that money already comes from taxes?

    How about retroactive refund?

  10. This pretty much sums up how I feel about the sitch-e-a-shun.


  11. I’ve been watching a lot of videos about organic gardening. Not because I’m hippy, but because I expect food to continue getting more expensive, and pesticides cost money.

    Also: calming. Government crashes and burns, plants will still grow and be worth something.

  12. Leon, if you really want to have enough fruits and veggies to eat, leave the “organic” crap behind. You need the maximum yield from a plot of land and organic is going to reduce yields by 50% under the BEST conditions.compared to chemicals added. Nitrates are cheap, easy to store and will double yields.

  13. Let’s talk about something interesting.

    How good is hawaiian pizza? Really good.

  14. Mundy, I have so much “brown matter” that buying nitrates would be a complete waste.

  15. I’ve never liked pineapple, let alone thought it belonged on pizza.

  16. Pizza topping should have two things on it: Meat and Cheese

    Pineapple is neither meat nor cheese…

  17. That said, I should probably get jammin’ on the composting soon.

  18. Leon, if you use animal waste as fertilizer…well, everything has to be cooked then at least. No raw veggies

  19. Weird, poop is classed as “green” material for composting because of the C:N ratio.

  20. You right wing rethuglicans are all anti pizza progress. Try new things, like pineapple on your pizza, or killing off a certain segment of the population for the greater good.

  21. You can’t use horse or chicken waste directly, it has to be composted with leaves or wood for several months until the bacteria have gone full course and it’s just dirt. That’s what I’ll have to do.

    Rabbit pellets are low-acid and can be used right away, though.

  22. And it looks like I may have missed the composing boat for this year anyhow. I’ll have to start next Spring after the thaw, and that’s about when I need to start planting.

  23. Hawaiian pizza is good, especially with good pineapple. Good ham (much better than most Canadian Bacon), onion, green pepper, fresh cut pineapple (much sweeter than the canned stuff), and a double helping of mozzarella.

  24. just put a light bulb over the compost pile, leon. It will be fine.

  25. Here’s one for you, MJ. Pineapple and Jalepeno.

    Sweet and sour to the max.

  26. A lot of people also like pineapple and sauerkraut.

    As sauerkraut is just rotted cabbage, I can’t get on board with that theory.

  27. Mornin’, gheyboys and hawtchicks

    Was reading the link to the Detroit bankruptcy article and I saw this regarding the Illinois public union pension reform:

    The bill says that some people would be allowed to participate in a 401(k)-style plan. But participation in the 401(k) option is limited to 5 percent of Tier 1 members (which includes members who were hired before 2011). Once 5 percent of these members are in the plan, it is closed. No one can transfer in or out of the plan.

    Moreover, the state can cancel the 401(k) plan at any time. If the state decides to cancel this defined contribution plan, the state can [edit: “will] raid (“recover”) the money in the 401(k)s. The money effectively does not belong to the workers; it belongs to the state.


    I would like to meet just one of those Teir 1 employees who is fucking stupid enough to move their retirement to a 401(k) under these conditions.

    They may as well just toss it into Lake Michigan.

  28. Jay, ‘kraut is fermented, not rotted. It’s basically the sourdough of salads.

  29. Here’s one for you, MJ. Pineapple and Jalepeno.
    Good idea.

  30. Don’t try to convince with your fancy fermented vs. rotted spoken word games. I knows what I knows!

  31. I’ve made very good sauerkraut. It is quite distinct from rotten cabbage. I promise. Swearsies.

  32. ooops.

    my bad. I didn’t realize I was at hostagerecipes.wordpress.com

  33. Have some more peyote, wiser, and I’ll introduce you to the Cheshire Cat.

  34. We’re running low on special sauce.

    * puts mayonnaise in sunlight *

  35. My dad made “really good sauerkraut” too. I smelled it all summer a long time ago.

    Kinda soured me on the stuff.

  36. Hehe, I love that Simpson’s episode.

  37. and I’ll introduce you to the Cheshire Cat.

    ♪one pill makes you larger
    and one pill makes you small….♪

    oh, I see MJ has already taken that one…

  38. I remember hiding in the attic when my mom made sauerkraut.

    There is nothing good about it.

  39. That zero hedge article is really good, Car in.

    Yes, everything kid who has read the book need to read it.

    It had me on the cliff this morning, though.

  40. I love sauerkraut.

  41. Every kid …

  42. Shocker. Ace called it. Pope is Time’s person of the year.

    They are so fucking predictable.

  43. I like sauerkraut on a Reuben, maybe a hotdog.

    And then I’m pretty much done with sauerkraut.

  44. Pineapple/ham pizza is good, pineapple/jalapeno sounds good. Pepperoni pizza gives me acid reflux.

  45. Shocker. Ace called it. Pope is Time’s person of the year.

    Yep, and just as he said, for all the wrong reasons.

  46. I kicked ass at crackfat this morning, in case anyone wanted to know.

    PR for my front squat. Then kicked everyone’s ass on the timed WOD.

  47. Pineapple/Jalepeno comes from a large number of Asian and Indian students in the Iowa State community. They know sweet and sour.

  48. I made faux chorizo again. I’ve given it two days in the fridge to flavor meld, going to eat it tonight with a pile of potatoes.

  49. Post that at hostage recipes leon!

  50. The Elf On The Shelf needs to be donkey punched. Such nonsense.

  51. The Elf On The Shelf needs to be donkey punched. Such nonsense.

    I’m sure not everyone feels this way, but it’s a replacement for the mystery the surrounds the life of Christ. If you are secular, and searching for something more out of the holiday, the Elf on the Shelf is perfect. NOT that this is why everyone does it. Some – it’s just harmless fun.

  52. I’ve become aware of it gradually over time after initially thinking it was a flash in the pan notion that would die down. Just read a story in the NY Post about how the Elf gives kids things in advance of Christmas. In other words, not just acting as Santa’s Spy to report on the kids behavior in the all important weeks before Christmas. If the intention is simply to remind kids to behave then I’m on board. If it becomes another vehicle for pre-gifting Christmas I’m not so sure it’s a good idea. Either way, my kids are too old for that so I guess I’m just being pissy for no good reason.

  53. You should end those rants with GET OFF MY LAWN!

    Or if you found $20.

  54. What have I missed? Is the collapse imminent?

    Went to the mall yesterday evening. Even though it was a Tues. night, I was unnerved by how few people were there shopping, a couple of weeks before Christmas. I’d think the panic shoppers, like myself, would be starting their business.

  55. I hate the Elf. He reminds me of one of Obama’s pedophile lackies.
    Still can’t think of his name….think of that one picture where he creepy smiles with ‘Obama cares’ written on his fingers. Who is that?

  56. Jim Messina

    No relation to Loggins.

  57. Bored now. Don’t make me go run at the gym. It’s either that or clean. I work at five. sigh

  58. Thanks Jay. Seriously. Separated at birth. *shivers*

  59. Yea, beasn, I think this holiday season is going to be disappointing for retailers.

    Good luck seeing that covered by the media .

  60. If you are secular, and searching for something more out of the holiday

    then I suggest such a person go talk to a member of the clergy, or go suck an egg.

    It is a Christian holiday. I am not a Christian, but my wife is, so we observed this holiday in our house. If someone is secular, why are they celebrating a Christian holiday?

    Car in, I don’t disagree with you often, but someone who is not a Christian should not celebrate the holiday. In fact, they should treat it just like any other day of the year, and leave the holiday celebrations to Christians.

  61. >>>You should end those rants with GET OFF MY LAWN!

    Or if you found $20.

    I understand the get off my lawn. I’ve always wondered about the $20 saying and figured I’d be enlightened over time but so far I haven’t drank from the well of knowledge on that one. I have lost $20 though.

  62. The parking lot at the mall was nearly empty.

    *puts finger in the air*

    Something is not right. Could it be that Dear Leader and co. are lying again? If the economy was recovering, wouldn’t more people be spending money?

    Speaking to that. I can’t get into the Christmas spirit. The kids are harder to buy for.

  63. It’s a throwoff. You tell a story, nobody cares, but then out of the blue you found $20! Magic!

  64. I don’t think we’re disagreeing, AD, or I expressed myself poorly. I certainly wasn’t endorsing the Elf.

    I was merely giving a pass to Christians who both sought the true spirit of the holiday as WELL as doing the elf thing.

    Generally, though, the elf is a distraction. Like stupid television and celebrity fascination. It gets between us and what’s important.

  65. Car in, don’t they usually report and make a big deal over Black Friday sales by this time? I haven’t heard anything. Are they still in the red?

    *makes note to spend that JCPenney store credit before I can’t*

  66. There’s lots of distractions at Christmas. Those are the things that the non-christians celebrate.

    I only know one person who worked on Christmas, a consultant for us. He worked BECAUSE it was Christmas, and wasn’t his holiday.

  67. *restores opinion of Car in to its former esteem

  68. The elf is a pervert. Or maybe I have friended too many pervs, who like to search out the elf in compromising positions.
    (just don’t like it’s face)

  69. You tell a story, you think is exciting, but is actually boring. Someone points out that your story is lacking a climax (SYWM) by saying, “And then what happened?”

    You steal victory from the jaws of defeat by announcing you found $20.

  70. Don’t make fun of elves! MJ and leon are around!

  71. But they have pleasant, non-creepy faces.

  72. I didn’t find shit, but here’s my story:

    Sooper boss held back 5% of my annual bonus because he didn’t feel like I was ‘all in.’ These are dumb words for dumb people that can’t find an objective measure that wasn’t met for the previous year. Essentially he was being a dick.

    It really bothered me and I attempted to schedule a meeting with my prior supervisor and SB. He stated, “I don’t understand why I need to be there,” so I let it go. He’s a coward of high magnitude.

    At a certain level I understand that business is essentially political. I’ve also been thinking about the concept of forgiveness and that I should be more open to it but I just can’t get there with this guy.

    Revenge will be better, so I’m going with that option. I’ll keep you posted on how this all turns out as I know you’re all interested in the middling life of a mid level corporate hack.

    I have a few options:

    1) Racism. Sooper boss doesn’t like my old boss, who is black. A gentle mention of it here or there should start the ball rolling.

    2) Sexism. He routinely can not get along with women in the company and treats them like shit. He treats everyone like shit, but so what. If we’re a PC business then it can be used against him.

    3) Ethics violation. He is aware that we have taken $5M from customers and have failed to delver the promised service. He will not do anything about it because it will set off chain of events that will likely lead back to him. This is a serious issue, but would require courage to solve, and the ability to accept responsibility.

    4) Donkey punch (wife or daughter 18+)

    5) Let it go

  73. Hey, MJ, you dickbag, I intended to contact you over the past several days so you could buy me a drink. Time was too short, and there were obligations that were not of my choosing.

    Next time I’m going to have to travel all the way to fucking Charlotte to collect.

  74. Generally, though, the elf is a distraction. Like stupid television and celebrity fascination. It gets between us and what’s important.

    This woman is so wise.

    I was merely giving a pass to Christians who both sought the true spirit of the holiday as WELL as doing the elf thing.

    To pick a nit: aren’t these actually the worse offenders? Someone that knows the origin and meaning of the religious holiday, and yet succumbs to the materialistic trappings of today’s superficial society, and seeks out a non-Christian cause/purpose for the holiday?

  75. leon is a Dwarf (Tolkien kind), not an Elf.

  76. This is me after writing that wall of text:


  77. To pick a nit: aren’t these actually the worse offenders? Someone that knows the origin and meaning of the religious holiday, and yet succumbs to the materialistic trappings of today’s superficial society, and seeks out a non-Christian cause/purpose for the holiday?

    The worst? I dunno. There are so many worse things, that I’m not going to heap scorn on the Elf fans. I know some nice people wh do it.

  78. Next time I’m going to have to travel all the way to fucking Charlotte to collect.
    It’s disappointing that you couldn’t find your way out of the St Pete bathhouse to meat up, but I understand. There are dicks that must be sucked.

    I look forward to seeing you in Charlotte. There’s a great place with a kick ass wine list about two blocks from my new place.

  79. I made an executive decision.
    We are going to the Malaysian Thai place for dinner.

  80. Ervin’s Fried Chicken FTW!

  81. Bah! Christmas is a humbug!

  82. The insanely hot chick who does proper squats in yoga pants was in the rack next to me today. I am blessed.

  83. I did squats in yoga pants. It’s cold outside – way too cold for a skort.

  84. Don’t make fun of elves! MJ and leon are around!

    Go ahead, I hate those poncy fucks.


  85. MJ, I’d go with 3. Provides him the best chance to learn something.

  86. Huh. Had to google poncy and it pretty much applies.

  87. Speaking to that. I can’t get into the Christmas spirit. The kids are harder to buy for.

    Give them each a hand made gift certificate for one free “get out of a beating”.

  88. I did squats in yoga pants. It’s cold outside – way too cold for a skort.

    It’s a Festivus Miracle!

  89. There’s a rich man sleeping on a golden bed
    There’s a skeleton choking on a crust of bread. . .

  90. “Ponce” is the word for “elf” in the language of my people.

  91. Comment by beasn on December 11, 2013 11:57 am

    Thanks Jay. Seriously. Separated at birth. *shivers*

    In other news, Harry Reid was spotted loading rolled up carpets into the back of a van while muttering that “they’re getting too close.”


  92. Also, 12 Oaks Mall in Novi was packed to the gills when I went Christmas shopping, so the slowdown isn’t everywhere.

  93. {{{hugs}}} MJ

    Sounds like it’s a good thing you’re skedaddling outta Dodge…..

  94. Harry Reid is a pederast (allegedly). It’s common knowledge outside of Nevada.

  95. In other news, Harry Reid was spotted loading rolled up carpets into the back of a van while muttering that “they’re getting too close.”

    That’s some timely humor there. Well done!

  96. Sounds like it’s a good thing you’re skedaddling outta Dodge…..
    I’m not complaining. I’m grateful for the opportunities I have, but I can’t shake the idea of revenge. It’s just so goddamn appealing.

  97. I’m grateful for the opportunities I have, but I can’t shake the idea of revenge

    Some people should be grateful for YOU, it sounds like. Then again, Sooper Ass sounds like Grade A Jerk. Don’t even need to mix with alcohol for full effect.

  98. Where is that whore mare. I’ve got something for her.

  99. 23 and 28 are my favorite.

  100. MJ, a fool and his money is worth two in the bush.

  101. Bah. I require neither faith nor any other reasons to enjoy a holiday. Holidays are fun.

    I like how you gave *yourself* a pass because your wife is a Christian, AD. It’s nice of you to not make her move out of the house for the month of December.

  102. Totally ghey, Car-in.

  103. I’d have to have a damn good reason to celebrate Kwanzaa.

  104. white privilege

  105. Greetings, mustache riders.

  106. Oh, and I’m sure it was Quakers.

  107. Nobody celebrates Kwanzaa. It was thought up by a misanthrope communist and is therefore dreadfully dull and full of nitpicky tedium and endless bullshit make-work.

    Seriously, look at this control-freaky shit: http://www.wikihow.com/Celebrate-Kwanzaa

  108. How I’ve missed Hotspur’s Christmas avatar flipping me off.

    Hope you’re having fun in Florida. You’re missing all the snowy fun up north.

  109. I’m unfamiliar with the elf thing but I am generally in favor of anything that adds to the Christmas magic for kids, and anybody else regardless of religions, creed or political party.

  110. Thanks, Jay.

    Alas and alack, I am back in sunny southeast Michigan.

  111. I didn’t click your link MJ. Every time I’ve tried to get a handle on that so called holiday my eyes have rolled back in my head with the BS of it all. Left to its own devices it would have died a natural death but it’s not allowed to by Big Kwanzaa.

  112. Big Kwanzaa is just a front for Big Candles.

  113. So, Jonah Goldberg thinks the Ryan budget deal is good for keeping the focus on Obamacare?

    How about we keep the cuts, and also focus on Obamacare? How about that, Jonah?


  114. Maybe this guy can explain Kwanzaa to us:


  115. Time to go get a new license photo taken. 4 days of beard stubble should be perfect.

  116. Pupster?

  117. Big Candles is just a front for Big Tallow.

  118. To learn more about Kwanzaa, visit your local libarry:


  119. Comment by scott on December 11, 2013 2:07 pm

    MJ, a fool and his money is worth two in the bush.

    I thought it was “A rooster in the hand…”

  120. Bah. I require neither faith nor any other reasons to enjoy a holiday. Holidays are fun.

    Nobody celebrates Kwanzaa. It was thought up by a misanthrope communist and is therefore dreadfully dull and full of nitpicky tedium and endless bullshit make-work.

    How do you reconcile those two comments, then? One “holiday” is fun, but another is boring and make-work? Do you celebrate Passover? Easter? Ramadan? Washington’s birthday? May Day? If you don’t believe in the faith/reason behind a holiday, how can you celebrate it? And when did YOU get chosen to decide which holidays are real and which aren’t?

    And then you go on to question my marital relationship and how I interact with my wife? Got it.

  121. For MJ

  122. I just sent my Secret Kwanzaa gift. It’s almost impossible to do it secretly though, so I said it was from WickedPinto.

  123. How about this, Jay:

    Obamacare requires cuts to research for deaf homeless children with AIDS cancer.

  124. For MJ

    On a totally unrelated topic of my boss at work being a tool, I may want to purchase one of your products. How may I do so?

  125. Someone put a pamphlet on “Standards Based Grading” in one of my rooms today along with the Highlights magazines. I flipped through it and can’t decide if it’s pro- or anti- common core. There are lots of references to search out but there’s no group name on it. I put it in the trash along with the “Get right with God” pamphlets we find.

  126. Get right with Common Core.

  127. Common Whore.

  128. Leave Cyn out of this.

  129. You guys make me laugh.

  130. HAHAHA.

    My weighted vest came in flat-rate packaging through priority mail, packed dense enough to be depleted uranium.

  131. Obamajob time.

  132. There is nothing common about Cyn.

  133. Did the ATF ask you why you needed a bullet proof vest, leon?

  134. Not yet, AD. I’m waiting patiently.

  135. Ass Titties and Fufkas

  136. I’m not fighty-hatey-fighting you. I am saying you are wrong. It is possible for me to celebrate a holiday even if I don’t buy the origin story. I know it is possible because I have done it. Trust me, it works nearly the same as when I was a believer.

    Maybe you don’t understand why that is so (ie: because it’s a fun tradition anyway), but that doesn’t mean you are correct in your assertion.

    You were the one being bossy in the first place, not me. I absolutely don’t decide which holidays are real or not.

    But I can voice my opinion that Kwanzaa appears to blow chunks and that is why it isn’t even popular among black communists, even though that’s who it was invented for, about forty years ago or whatever.

    I’m not questioning your marital relationship. I am poking you for saying that other nonbelievers cannot possibly celebrate a holiday if they don’t believe in the origin story for it, but you can because your wife does. It is possible that is not precisely what you meant, but that is what you said.

  137. **hands Laura a boxcutter**

    Let’s you and him fight.

  138. There’s pretty much no way to hide this under anything short of a parka.

    Wearing it right now, I’ll try to take a selfie.

  139. I can’t get too butthurt about non-Christians (or non-observant Christians) celebrating a holiday whose almost every trapping was stolen from pagan solstice celebrations.

  140. Nope, no luck. I can’t get the camera far enough away to really capture the majesty.

  141. Pagans celebrate Giftmas or Yule, though they keep the name their parents used for it.

  142. Crap. How do I get out of this thing?

  143. I can’t get any butthurt about it at all, much less “too butthurt”. Of course people who aren’t Christians celebrate Christmas. A lot.

    I’m sure not seein a downside here.

  144. *celebrates festivus without watching Seinfeld

  145. And Christianity is not an exclusive club in which we shun, SHUN the unbeliever.

    We’re supposed to welcome all. I can’t convert someone, only the Holy Spirit can move them. But I can certainly try to set the conditions so they’re more likely to hear the invite.

  146. And Kwanzaa is fucking hilarious. It always reminds me of Sammy Davis Jr.

  147. Nope, no luck. I can’t get the camera far enough away to really capture the majesty.

    Ever hear of a mirror?

  148. >> *celebrates festivus without watching Seinfeld


  149. *Shuns XB* (Actually, that was well said)

  150. Ever hear of a mirror?

    No mirrors of the right size on the ground floor.

    I’ll put it back on and see how using the stairs goes.

  151. Wear it out to the ghetto bar tonight. I’ll tell everyone you’re from the CIA.

  152. Ahem! Everyone, I’d like you to meet my friend, Mitch Rapp.

  153. Wear it to the ghetto bar and tell everyone you’re Muslim.

    Watch ’em back away.

  154. I will argue that someone celebrating “Christmas” without celebrating the Christian basis for the holiday (and yes, xbrad, the the traditions have been “stolen”), is in fact not celebrating Christmas at all, and is therefore hypocritical. If you are not celebrating the birth of Christ, just what are you celebrating? December 25th? What is so special about that day? And the point I was making to Car in is that if you are celebrating as a Christian, also celebrating the recent cheesy secular “traditions”/justifications for the date are counter to significance of the day to you and your faith, and are also being hypocritical.

    Let’s face it: all these secular traditions of “Christmas” were adopted so that non-Christians can celebrate “Christmas” too, without all that “yucky” God-bothering, and commandments, and morality, and all that other believing stuff. Only they aren’t actually celebrating Christmas.

    And, yes, you were questioning my marriage. Or to quote you: “ It is possible that is not precisely what you meant, but that is what you said.“. BTW, I said Christmas was observed in our house, not that I celebrated Christmas.

  155. Wear it out to the ghetto bar tonight. I’ll tell everyone you’re from the CIA.

    So. Tempted.

    Upstairs: easy. Down felt a little perilous.

  156. With all the cells of weight, it does look way more like bomb vest than armor. I just need some bits from a clock radio and I’m set.

  157. Lighten up Francis.

  158. [three days from now]

    Anyone heard from leon?

  159. Remind me again why you’re wearing body armor?

    And don’t say anything gross.

  160. Ahem! Everyone, I’d like you to meet my friend, Mitch Rapp.

    The iPad has a camera, so we should have live video.

  161. Make sure to warn everyone that they can’t use cell phones around him, or “things could happen”.

  162. Because my life is too easy, Dave, and I need to toughen up.

    Also because I hate running, but need some cardio, so I decided to make walking harder.

  163. Waiting for photo to make its way to me from phone to personal email.

  164. Afternoon.

  165. JEWSTIN!

    What did you build today?

  166. Today I built four (4) of these:


  167. Did your company build Alto Shaam?

  168. You don’t think I am celebrating Christmas, if I am not celebrating the birth of a God on Earth. I disagree.

    It’s even okay if you have a real stick up your ass about insisting to me that this celebration I am having is not real according to your standards of meaning and significance. These things happen. I hope you will feel better soon.

    I deeply regret my clumsy verbiage, it was not my intent to question your relationship or make it seem like I was impugning your marriage in any way. I also thought you did mean that you did celebrate Christmas personally. Guess I misread that too.

  169. No, Alto Shaam is somebody else.

  170. In lighter news, I had added a sexy dude pic to this poat.

  171. OK, off to dinner. I’m going to close my eyes and think happy things and nobody can stop me.

  172. Also, my mirror is dusty.

  173. I generally agree with AD that without the baby Jesus, Christmas as practiced is something of an empty ritual.

  174. Nice pic, Leon.

  175. Meh. AD sets the “hypocrite” bar pretty low. I was a hypocrite for refusing to endorse impeachment of Barry-O (IT’S THE RIGHT THING TO DO x ELEVENTY!) even though it could never be accomplished (WINDMILLS! TILT AT THEM!).

    So Bossy McBosserson, why don’t you go wash the sand out of your vagina and find some other thing to tell people to do? It seems to be your thing lately.

    Don’t be surprised if people decline your generous offer of “FEEL BAD ABOUT SOMETHING”. It’s a tough sell.

  176. I don’t necessarily have anything against the practice, I just wouldn’t bother if I didn’t believe.

  177. I don’t bother, and I do believe.

  178. Oh, and nice Hunk Day addition.

  179. Klaus the German Bathroom Kat is attempting a cameo in the corner.

  180. Early this morning:

    S & Manticore: *Lots of shouting and finger-pokery*

    Me: *Parking a pallet*

    C: NO! Not there! I’m going to work there.

    Me: I can move down. Don’t get into a snit.

    C: *Gets into a snit*

    Helpy Helper from Fabrication: *Stunned* Are they always like that?

    Me: Oh. Sure. They just got started early today.

  181. Klaus Doldinger?

  182. Low tonight 7°. High tomorrow 18°.

    Yesterday I was in 80°.

  183. Few years ago, DD#3 wanted me to write her a note so that she could get out of class on Good Friday like all of her other friends.

    She was (and still is) a vocally non-practicing Christian, so I asked her (in my best Southern drawl), “Do you believe that Jesus Christ is your Lord and Savior and that he died on the cross for your sins?”

    Without missing a beat, she said, “No”.

    I said, “Then I’m not writing you a note” and walked away…..

  184. Hahahahaha


  185. I’ll write you a note if you bring me a church bulletin and sworn testimony from three witnesses that saw you at the Good Friday service.

  186. ((scrolls up and down))

    Ahh, so not getting into this…

    ((goes looking for proper age group porn))

  187. Tifw, love it!!! Albuquerque schools close on Good Friday because there weren’t/aren’t enough substitutes for all the teacher call outs.

  188. Leon, we used to get the bulletin and forge signatures.

  189. Group porn is way more gross than single people porn.

  190. Mundy, we can switch to food or back to bizarre workout stuff if you like.

    I’m about to go out to dinner, though.

  191. I get kind of creeped out by the washing of the feet on Holy Thursday and the Veneration of the cross on Good Friday.

  192. Fred Upton is going to be on Kelly’s show tonight.

    If she asks him about light bulbs, I will giggle like Rosetta in a new poodle skirt.

  193. Leon, that was funny..

  194. http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=JRK0LjJqiW0

  195. Comment by xbradtc on December 11, 2013 5:15 pm

    Well put XBrad, couldn’t have said it better if I tried.

    Well, I probably could but I couldn’t be bothered.

  196. I agree with you Leon, that AD has a point about the meaning of Christmas, if you are religious. Absolutely.

    But the rest of it- going over the edge and insisting we “should not” celebrate Christmas, we should treat it as any other day or be considered hypocrites, is rather small and mean. Not to mention goofy in the coco.

    Growing up I had Jewish friends who celebrated Christmas, fer cryin’ out loud. It’s just a wonderful tradition in this country, part of our shared culture. In *addition* to the reason for the season. Which you can either partake in, or not. It’s a nice thing about America.

    I think a lot of people conflate those loudmouth militant atheists with people who are simply not religious. There’s no reason to rage against folks having a lovely day right alongside their religious friends and family.

  197. $20 opinion. I loved growing up on or near base, where everyone would get their boy or girl gift from Santa. All kids whose parents worked on base. Secular Christmas was observed at school. Kids from all faiths and all nationalities celebrated Christmas. I have friends from Shang Hai to Tel Aviv that still celebrate Halloween, Thanksgiving, and Christmas. My Dad was an atheist. My favorite Uncle is Jewish. Feel free to punch my inner hippie that celebrates the JOY of the season.

  198. One time I had Christma with Jesus. He worked on a berry farm in the summer.

  199. >> I am not a Christian, but my wife is, so we observed this holiday in our house.

    It’s almost as if “we” isn’t plural.

  200. Punching your inner hippie sounds dirty.

  201. Every now and then, my pot smoking 70s upbringing comes out. I try to squelch it. (Punches self in face for owning a really cool tie dye marine animal tee shirt)

  202. Blog fighting misunderstandings and disagreements: excellent!

    So… 10 paces with duelling pistols or Hulk Hands in the back yard?

  203. My brother and his husband (SYWM) adopted a nephew when his mom got sent to jail for a long term. His name was Jesus which they promptly changed to Kevin and never again was his original name mentioned.

  204. Nah, I’m sorry guys, didn’t mean to bring everybody down. I just felt a little bitchy when the bad man said that I wasn’t allowed to have a Christmas.

    I’m over it.

  205. You can have Christmas if you passed your Chem final.

  206. What do they call that cute little infant person in the manger thingy of the nativity scene? Kevin is a cool name, don’t get me wrong.

  207. I know people that are named Jesus Maria y Jose. Talk about covering all the bases.

  208. He’s been replaced by Lego Batman

  209. I’m over it.

    Awww, dangit.

    *trudges off to put the Hulk Hands away*

  210. Yep, Oso. If I like my A minus, I can keep my A minus.

  211. Lego Batman named Kevin? That works too. Very cool.

  212. If you are born on or around Christmas, your traditional Spanish name is Jesus. See also Easter. If you are a Hispanic female, Maria is part of your name. I have 4 Aunts named Maria. Maria Dolores, Maria Monica, Maria Cecilia, and Maria Georgia. I am Constancia Maria. My sister is Theresa Jo Maria. (The Jo is after a nun that was my Mom’s favorite teacher in nursing school. Sr. Joseph) We also name kids after the relative that is most recently deceased.

  213. Nicely done, Laura!!

    Now you can relax for a few weeks and let your brain empty out a bit.

  214. Whoot! Whoot! How many people H8 Lauraw over her A minus?

  215. “Jesus, Maria y Jose”

    Things my dad said in English before kicking our asses?

  216. L to R: Lauraw, a nameless pool boy I just sent to deliver the marg

  217. A… minus? I see.

    *removes a present from under the tree*

  218. Just checked. B+ total grade. Missing a couple homeworks killed me.
    Oh well.

  219. My bitch congress critter that walked out on the Benghazi families is sending congratulatory wedding wishes to all my gay friends that are getting “married”

  220. One more final next week.

  221. Goes all Tiger Mom on Lauraw* No Christmas for you!

  222. *removes another present from under the tree*

  223. Really proud of you, lauraw! We’re going to need nurses when we bug out in the Gila.

  224. *removes another present from under the tree*


  225. Can we bug out in the Belize instead?

  226. Are you saying we’re bugging out with Michael and not Scott?

  227. Scott wants to go to Gila???

    *runs downstairs to have a talk

  228. Flying to Belize is not bugging out.


    You’re down to the jar of Hump Wax and the pony.

  230. That’s like buying a $500,000 RV to go camping.

  231. Flying to Belize is not bugging out.

    Yes it is.

  232. I guess all of us showing up on Pepe’s doorstep is out too?

  233. Colorado Alex lies.

    There’s not really a pony in that pile of horseshit.

  234. Why no A- ?

  235. Is it rayciss that I heard MJ’s comment in Mrs Swann’s voice?

  236. Yes it is.

  237. Just sheer fatigue, MJ. This class was ridiculous.

  238. Goode evening Hostages. Another dance class survived.

  239. So, my MiL decided to get rid of all her Christmas ornaments THIS WKND! OMG!!!! Dan had to go by and get the ornaments he wanted on Monday. It is tough watching him watch his parents lose it.

  240. What’s their problem, Oso?

  241. Aging. We’ve been through so many cancers and heart issues that the seemingly dementia stuff is huge.

  242. Back from dinner with wife person. Had tenderloin and sweet tato. Did not find $20.

  243. Been debating if I should do this, so I guess it’s been on my mind, but tonight it was official.

    Found out my mother in law has Stage 4 pancreatic cancer, which has metastasized to her liver. She’s a wonderful lady that could use your thoughts and prayers. She starts chemo next week.

  244. mmmm…sweet taters.

  245. And oso’s comment wasn’t there before I poated that. Didn’t mean to add to it.

  246. So sorry, J’ames. Praying for your MiL. Pancreatic cancer sucks. St Peregrine is on it, too.

  247. Say some Prayers for beasn too.

  248. Good job lauraw. I’m proud I’d you.

  249. Learn your chemistry well, laura. It’s a daunting list to look at, but you can handle it.

    B+ is pretty awesome.

  250. I think we can all agree that Jay is a complete idiot, but the Hawaiian pizza with jalapeños is ridiculously brilliant.

  251. Did you try it, MJ? Pretty good, isn’t it?

  252. Sorry to hear that Jay.

  253. Sympathy and prayers, Jay.

  254. It’s amazing. Sweet and hot is just about as good as sweet and salty.

  255. Cyn? NSFW Language

  256. Did anybody run into anybody else’s car after hitting a patch of ice today?

  257. Thoughts and prayers, J’Ames.

  258. MJ, if you can’t get hot green chile, jalapeños, pineapple, and pepperoni is yum. (I really wish I knew how to link stuff.)

  259. That sucks Jay. I’m so sorry.

  260. Oh damn Jay. I’m sorry.

    I don’t hate Lauraw for makin an A-. But I would have, if she had been in my class and we had a curve.

    Pure white hot hateyness.

  261. And Oh damn too, Oso.

    Sheesh. I only dealt with dementia for a week.

    Not me.

    As far as you know I mean

  262. Coming to a critical mass. Dan is still trying to negotiate optimal scenarios.

  263. Dementia sucks.

  264. Jay, best wishes for your MIL’s comfort. Extra hug for your missus from me, too, please.

  265. Yep. Alzheimer’s too.

  266. Rough to hear that, Jay; good thoughts and prayers headed your way.


  268. The same headed Dan’s and your way Oso, too.

  269. Oso – why does beasns need our prayers? *gives them anyways*

  270. I see “Sen. John Cornyn”, but I think “Sen. John Cornball”. SUE ME!!1!

  271. She’s getting hit with a butt load of family sh…tuff right now.

  272. Shtuff are hard.

  273. Texas could do better than Cornyn. Feet held to the fire Cornyn is good too. Mack Brown.


  275. *loads a red thong into a rubber band shooter and aims for Pepe*

  276. oh CYN you will love LOVE this…



    OHS NOES!!!

  278. Saban is playing the Bama regents for mo’ money.

  279. HAHA! Hilarious, Dave.

    Silly dork believers.

  280. For anyone with a stain on their SS gift, just saw this out there:

  281. Someone with better linkage skills than I should link Tim McGraw’s Live Like You Were Dying. Everyone else needs to Fu Manchu it!

  282. Alabama is offering him a contract extension and lots more $, but if Texas really wanted him they could top it.

    I don’t think that’s where they’re lookin though. Could be wrong.

    But oh shit that paging thing at Bergstrom is funny as hell.

  283. Fu Manchu?

  284. DiT, yes it was. The clenching that took place in Austin and Bama was worth it!

  285. Hahaha The name of the bull in Live Like You were Dying!

  286. {{{hugs}}} Jay – thoughts and prayers to you and your family.

    Ditto to Oso and Beasn.

  287. Last night a manager called me Jiminy Cricket. I guess I need to dial it back a bit.

  288. I can’t imagine what that would do for the Texas athletic donations.

  289. They’re done with Mack. It’s all opera at this point.

    It’s too bad cause he would have done fine at AD.

  290. I found out this week that we can’t say Ginger at work. Equivalent to the N Word.

  291. No Ginger Snaps? What do you call them?

  292. We don’t carry Ginger Snaps anymore.

  293. *idea stolen from LauraW who wrote it about her dog some years ago

    The beagle escapeth this evening. And lo, a single shining star in the heavens led him to the shite, he found the scat and he rolled upon it. And the prodigal beagle cameth home with his tail betweenst his legs, lookin all sadz and “oh man I’m sorry” and he sucketh up with great suckething. But he still got baptized with myrhh and frankinstone and whatever else I could find to kill that awful stank.

    He is evil. And dumb. And now he is wet.

  294. Insanely hot chick at the gym is a pseudo-ginger. Her hair is copper colored. Looks natural.

  295. After an hour of cutting and prep, my french-ish pork stew is crocking.

  296. Mack had a pretty good year, after losing to Iowa State. He was tied for the lead in the Big 12 for a long time, and pulled off some signature wins. Oklahoma comes to mind.

  297. Snuggle cuddle time with Dan and the wieners and their new heated throw.

  298. Mack’s job was to win the Big 12 title. That was the only thing that would have kept him on.

    He fumbled and lost control 4 years ago and this is what happens in the bigs. I’m surprised he survived this long.

  299. Yeah, not everyone has the goals of Iowa State. I keep forgetting that some football teams are used to winning.

    I’ll just keep going to basketball games.

  300. Being a Lobo fan is tough. I feel J’ames pain.

  301. I went to Baylor in the lean years.

    I don’t feel sorry for you at all.

    And also I do not recognize these bears.

  302. Not as bad as being an Air Force Academy fan.

    Our coach (who as a ’89 grad should know better) has been lobbying for a ‘five yr system’ for academy athletes so we can can get a redshirt year for them and compete on equal footing.

    My response: Shut the Academies down if it’s come to that.

    It is worth noting that our coach never served in a line officer billet and his entire, short, USAF career consisted of coaching at USAFA before he became a civilian and entered the collegiate/NFL asst coach ranks.

    On a more important note: Jay, the Phat Phamily prayers are with your family.

  303. Jay, did you see my poat at xbrads?

    I sent a rough draft to Tushar before he went back to India and his response was: ‘Dude, I knew you had gayer stories than the ones you told in Texas.’

    Not really sure how to take that…

  304. Ok. We beat the Air Force Academy my freshman year.

  305. Dave,

    That’s nothing to be proud of. The only two teams we beat this year were Colgate and Army.

    I didn’t know Colgate even had a football program. I strongly suspect they sent their lacrosse team by mistake.

  306. we settled for little happy

  307. You know you suck if you lose to the Lobos.

  308. Loved your stories at xbrads. I’m waiting for more!

  309. Everybody’s coming from the winter vacation
    Taking in the derp in a exaltation to you
    You come running in on platform shoes
    With Marshall stacks
    To at least just give us a clue
    Ah, here it comes
    I know it’s someone I knew

  310. Good morning all!

    Slow day today for me.

  311. Guten Morgen!

    That’s a good thing, Jimbro! Unless of course this was your day of sawing off feet for profit. Then not so good.

  312. I wish it were so! Only one case late morning and that individual will keep all of their appendages.

    For Leon if he’s around:


  313. FTR, I don’t really care how/why someone celebrates Christmas. But if you’re a Christian, AND concerned that you’re holiday has been sidetracked from the true meaning … Elf and overshopping and etc … could be where you should look.

    But secular and pagan folks can knock themselves out with their Holiday tree. Don’t care. It’s all good.

    wakey wakey

  314. Something President Selfie would never do.


  315. A kicker lives in a world of extremes: Hero or Goat.

    43’s note was nice.

  316. http://www.washingtontimes.com/news/2013/dec/11/tea-partiers-turn-capitol-hill-budget-deal/

    Gee, I wonder why they are mad! Maybe it’s because of increased “fees”?

  317. I wonder if Foster took any heat for his message “Framing This”.

    You should burn all documents from Satan Himself, right?

  318. With as much scorn that’s been heaped upon him I’m guessing this is a minor speedbump.

  319. You should burn all documents from Satan Himself, right?

    Auction them for charity. It’s what Rush would do.

  320. For Leon if he’s around:

    It would be a better world in many respects, but would provide me less opportunity to distinguish myself from slothful coworkers.

  321. I ate almost the whole pizza, Jay. I’m not even hungry this morning.

  322. C’mon, just one more slice


  323. https://twitter.com/MemorialSigner

  324. SMH, the President that gives beaucoup $$$ for AIDS relief gets booed, President Narcissist gets cheered. I hate Bizarroworld.

  325. Goom dorning, cook lids.

  326. Paul Ryan is up early this morning.
    It’s another great day to be a lying fuckup.

  327. Is someone working on a post? If so, great. If not, I’ll put up a little MP for the cool kids.

  328. Bwahahahahahaha!


    Poat away, MJ, please.

  329. ISS meltdown?

  330. South Africa didn’t benefit directly from Bush, so of course they boo him.

    The rest of the continent loves the guy.

  331. Not me poating today – have at it

  332. Haha, good one, roamy!

    They forgot the cat’s ears.

  333. Got my SS package last night – SSqueeeeeee!

  334. I’m hoping it’s a software problem and not the ammonia pump gone bad.

  335. I didn’t know you were sick.

  336. I just realized MP = Muppet Pron. **logs off, clears cache**

  337. Social Security, Cyn?

  338. I thought we were getting a new poat?

  339. “It’s another great day to be a lying fuckup.”
    he surely is a disappointment

  340. “I just realized MP = Muppet Pron. **logs off, clears cache**”

    Good one, Roamy!

  341. https://tinyurl.com/k8j3kqk

  342. Nah, it’s her new Nazi uniform – 😛

  343. finally the recognition it deserves-

  344. New post.

  345. That was cute, Roamy!

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