Big Boob Friday™

Hi. This week’s edition of big boob friday features a very special woman. She is an accomplished actress, starring in highly acclaimed films such as Shindler’s List (Big Titty Gypsy #3–Pre Gas Chamber), Terms of Endearment (Big Titty Cancer Patient #2), Leaving Las Vegas (Hooker–Corpse), Requiem for a Dream (Heroin Addict #93–Big Tits), and Old Yeller (Big Titted Dead Dog That Dies at the End).

Nah, bro. I was just kidding. Here’s an actual list of Cristina Jolie’s IMDB: Cotton Panties 12, Me and My Sybian 1 and 3 (She got a call back!!! Squee!!!!!!), Prime Cups 6, Jiggling Jugs, All Internal 11, Lesbian Prison, Russian Institute 12–Back to School, and Natural Wonders of the World 49. Other than this extensive list of xbrad’s hard drive movies, she really hasn’t done much. Just a girl from Checkland giving blowies and eating tacos looking for that big break.

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And now a musical interlude:

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Now for a bit of trivia or dates, or just ve-hickles for gif linking. Yes, there will be a SWAT hump, and due to overwhelming demand you might find a little bit o’ Muppet pron. Admit it; it’s why you love me.

845 – The first King of all Brittany, Nominoe defeats the Frankish king Charles the Bald at the Battle of Ballon near Redon.

1574 – Discovery of the Juan Fernández Islands off Chile.

1858 – Denver, Colorado is founded.

1869 – In Dumbarton, Scotland, the clipper Cutty Sark is launched – one of the last clippers ever built, and the only one still surviving today.

1908 – The Congress of Manastir establishes the Albanian alphabet.

1942 – World War II: Battle of Stalingrad – General Friedrich Paulus sends Adolf Hitler a telegram saying that the German 6th army is surrounded.

1954 – The Humane Society of the United States is founded.

1974 – The United Nations General Assembly grants the Palestine Liberation Organization observer status.

1986 – Mike Tyson defeats Trevor Berbick to become youngest Heavyweight champion in boxing history.

1995 – Toy Story is released as the first feature-length film created completely using computer-generated imagery.

2004 – The Orange Revolution begins in Ukraine, resulting from the presidential elections.

2013 — MJ sells his house without listing it. Fuck yeah, bishes.

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Christina_Jolie-after-babe-smoking-hot-stunning-before-lips-chickipedia_thumb_585x795*

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Ya’ll have a great weekend. One month till Christmas!!!!!!

UPDATE–FACE RIPPER THINKS THIS BISH IS A HO. AND VICE VERSA.

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352 Comments

  1. Probably one of my best posts ever.

  2. It is certainly superior to at least one of them.

  3. TGIB!

  4. I’ve been up for hours. Where is everyone?

    Slackers.

  5. What no Bio on Miss BBF? Enquiring minds and all. And I read Playboy for the articles (and the Centerfold Bios) :)

  6. Oh, BTW, nice job, MJ!

  7. Nice work, MJ.

  8. Morning, children. Thanks??? MJ.

  9. Looks like Andy in the UN link. I can totally see him saying that to the UN, too.

  10. Wakey wakey.

    I have a headache. I think I need a new pillow or something.

  11. Booger

  12. 8 eggs yesterday. My birds have recovered.

  13. Awww, the UN link is blocked. I have to look at home.

  14. Car in is getting new pillows!

  15. Yea, my little darlings are laying a TON. My son thinks the younger birds weren’t laying as much because the older birds were so mean .

    Perhaps. They’re a happy flock now. I can’t wait until the Spring to get more. I love the new birds I got and I’m going to get a ton of those.

  16. Good job MJ.

    http://tinyurl.com/mmsyv8k

  17. Good job MJ.

    http://tinyurl.com/mmsyv8k

    Ha Ha Ha!

    Dammit.

  18. You should sit outside the chicken hut, eating chicken soup.

    Motivation.

  19. So, apparently my son’s girlfriend dumped him last night. First girlfriend. Dated three years. She TOLD him she wanted his “plan” by now. What he’s going to do with his life.

    Humn … right now he’s working full time in a battery store that is owned by his parents. College is expensive, and over-rated for many kids. They’re NEVER going to make out financially for that investment. But she demanded a plan (which includes college) and she’s not taking no for an answer.

    @@.

    btw- she’s going to school for nursing, and she doesn’t even want to be a nurse. Plus, she’s already told Ian she doesn’t want kids, so I told him he should dump her anyway.

    But he’s sad. She’s probably playing games – interested in dating all the fabulous people she’s meeting, but the no-school thing is a good excuse. Whatev.

    He’s a great person, and she’s going to be hard pressed to find a better one.

  20. MJ,

    Your whore would look good in a dark room. And that’s good enough for this shithole dump.

  21. I can’t justify new birds with my limited space. I have room for one more in the current enclosure. I have been considering building another setup for other birds, but I am really tempted to try building a small rabbitry instead.

  22. Car in, sounds like this is the best thing that could have happened to him at this point. He’s from a big family, “no kids” should have been an instant dealbreaker.

    Is he considering a trade school or apprenticeship of some kind? Not that he has to, but it’s what I’d be thinking about at his age.

  23. Car in,

    My first girlfriend broke up with me after about 7 months or so. It was my first real brush with emotional trauma and I didn’t like it. I was in a bit of a funk for about the next 6 months or so. It didn’t help that she started dating a known drug dealer about 2 weeks after dumping me. I think she wanted to try a walk on the wild side and she knew I wasn’t going to go there.

    She eventually pulled herself together and married a friend of mine. They’ve managed to have a pretty decent life together I think.

  24. Leon, bunnies will be harder to kill than chickens.

  25. As long as we’re going to talk about chickens and shit……my boss and I smoked a half a dozen turkeys last night for a feed today. I threw a couple of catfish fillets and a salmon fillet on to snack on as we went. I was shocked at how good smoked catfish tasted. I’m gonna do it again and do a bunch at one time. Also I found $20.

  26. I think so. I don’t think they’re well suited, never did. She’s nice, but he’s smarter than her and she’s bossy. Nothing worse than being bossed around by someone less bright, imho.

    He’s very thoughtful, and a good boy. He thinks he’ll never meet another woman, but that’s just because he’s young. He’s attractive, doesn’t have any bad habits, isn’t your typical teenage boy who’s a slut, etc. He’s a catch.

    And, I refuse to let him have mountains of college debt w/o opportunities available. I will see him into success.

    I’d really like to see him get into a groove of learning what work is. So he can really have an idea of what he wants to do. If he wants to take a few courses to sharpen his skills (accounting, etc) that’s cool. Right now, we’re in a holding pattern.

    But he works 5 days a week – very long hours.

  27. http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=DVfo1jFZwQI

  28. It didn’t help that she started dating a known drug dealer about 2 weeks after dumping me. I think she wanted to try a walk on the wild side and she knew I wasn’t going to go there.

    Yea, Ian’s not going there either. His one friend has started smoking pot and he’s very disappointed in him. Other friends have started drinking in college – again, he’s disappointed. I told him he has to accept that some of his friends are going to make such decisions and not to judge them too harshly.

    (honestly, where did this child come from? PTL facebook wasn’t around when I was a teen and in college)

  29. He thinks he’ll never meet another woman, but that’s just because he’s young.

    The abundance mindset is a hard one to find, but it’s how he should be looking at it.

    I have two brothers-in-law at the same age. One of them is considering a career in welding, possibly in the military, so I’ve got my fingers crossed.

  30. The first girlfriend/boyfriend is hard to get over. Pretty soon he’ll be dating the volleyball team.

    He’ll bounce back, but it will be a rough month or two.

  31. This post has it all, suspense, boobs, laughter, tears, joy, but the disappearing bowl is my favorite!

  32. Comment by Pupster on November 22, 2013 9:20 am
    Leon, bunnies will be harder to kill than chickens.
    ======================
    Are they harder or easier to kill than opossums?

  33. Opossums are easier to kill than bunnies, I’m sure of it.

    There’s a rabbit farm not too far from me. I need to buy a live one and find out if I can do it before I get to building.

  34. Go over there in the middle of the night, leon. They won’t mind.

    Plus zombie opossum will be glad to see you in the woods.

  35. The actual killing of the last opossum was mechanically simple, but it had a tough moment for the heart. I could share it, but it will be a big downer.

  36. 3…2…1…..

    http://tinyurl.com/mssn5rv

  37. DON’T SHARE IT. TYIA

  38. Okay.

  39. Leon, did you see my question on your site? A simple one.

  40. The abundance mindset is a hard one to find, but it’s how he should be looking at it.

    I have two brothers-in-law at the same age. One of them is considering a career in welding, possibly in the military, so I’ve got my fingers crossed.

    Yep, plus he’s a catch. I’ve seen the competition out there. Coupled with the fact that he’s not going to be saddled with useless debt …

  41. Looking at pictures of the US military aid in the Philippines.

    http://news.yahoo.com/uss-george-washington-warship-turned-floating-aid-hub-180639544.html

    When did the C130 get 6 bladed props? Those things look nasty awesome.

  42. 4 Fs

  43. Your son is a catch for sure, Carin. If geography didn’t get in the way, I reserver him for one of my girls. Possibly Beasnsnsnsn daughter.

    You’ve done a great job with your children.

  44. Your whore would look good in a dark room. And that’s good enough for this shithole dump.
    —————–
    Mission Accomplished.

  45. When do you move, MJ?

  46. Answered, Mare.

    We watched WWZ last night. Read the book. The movie was blah.

  47. Sheryl Fucking Anderson.

    She was my first love. She had to leave high school and college because of anorexia.

    Poor girl.

  48. Your son is a catch for sure, Carin. If geography didn’t get in the way, I reserver him for one of my girls. Possibly Beasnsnsnsn daughter.

    I know one of the reasons he is sad is because he doesn’t think he’ll be able to find another “nice girl.”

    He’s also a relationship kind of guy. He likes having a girlfriend. The connection, etc.

    The hook-up culture would make him sick to his stomach.

  49. He’s probably gay.

    It’s ok Car in. We don’t judge.

  50. Healthy set of fun bags on the young lady. Excellent work MJ.

  51. Mare, if you really, really cared, you’d come to Michigan to visit us and bring your daughter(s) along as traveling companion(s).

  52. “The hook-up culture would make him sick to his stomach.”

    My girls too.

    God has a plan for all of them. As long as they stick to the plan. Work hard, follow the rules, don’t give in to culture. Something good is going to happen.

  53. If being gay means you don’t want to bang some slut in a bar … then I’ll be happy to have a “gay” son.

  54. Mare, if you really, really cared, you’d come to Michigan to visit us and bring your daughter(s) along as traveling companion(s).

    Leon has a point.

    Gods has a plan for all of them. As long as they stick to the plan. Work hard, follow the rules, don’t give in to culture. Something good is going to happen.

    yep.

  55. I was getting excited about meeting MJ, since my daughter has a job near Tampa. I thought for sure I would meet him on one of my upcoming trips.

    Also, I had to correct the s on “Gods” I don’t want to go pagan.

  56. I was getting excited about meeting MJ, since my daughter has a job near Tampa. I thought for sure I would meet him on one of my upcoming trips.

    I’m just happy MJ can avoid the disappointment. He’s had a rough year.

  57. Do I have to remind you guys I made this big proclamation about never going back to Michigan after my horrible year and a half there?

    It was almost an oath. Can’t remember if it was as I was walking out the door of my home or getting on the plane.

    My husband was born in Jackson and my oldest was born in Ann Arbor.

  58. “I’m just happy MJ can avoid the disappointment. He’s had a rough year.”

    Good point.

  59. Do I have to remind you guys I made this big proclamation about never going back to Michigan after my horrible year and a half there?

    Michigan wants to redeem itself. You can avoid Jackson and Ann Arbor.

  60. Mare, all you have to do is get here. One way or another, you’ll have free room and board and high-quality entertainment.

  61. Good point.

    Not meeting Mare, though, is a badge of honor. Makes you a true hostage.

  62. Mare, all you have to do is get here. One way or another, you’ll have free room and board and high-quality entertainment.

    Plus – CHICKENS.

    But that was already referenced in the “high-quality entertainment” line.

  63. Forget chickens, you still have kids at home, now that I would enjoy.

    *although I would like the chickens too

  64. Mare could even ride a mare at my place.

  65. Forget chickens, you still have kids at home, now that I would enjoy.

    *although I would like the chickens too

    Oh, if we plan it correctly, we could spend the day driving them to and from soccer practices/friends’ houses.

  66. Haha, check out the images tab when you google “mare on mare”

    SFW, I promise.

  67. ‘Mare’ means ocean.

  68. I like riding horses, Leon. I took lessons in Florida for dressage, just a starter kind of deal. What I think I should have done is take lessons in barrel racing.

    I’m a beginner horse person.

  69. “‘Mare’ means ocean.”

    Bingo!

  70. I thought it was fitting, since mare waxes poetically about Hawaii.

  71. I shave poetically.

  72. Nothing worse than being bossed around by someone less bright, imho.

    *cough*

  73. Mare also rhymes with hair and Nair. It all makes sense now.

  74. “It all makes sense now.”

    Would you make a chart? TYIA

  75. Ohai:

    http://tinyurl.com/mnfxtud

  76. After looking at that soldier it’s obvious our President is a pussy. One big giant pussy.

    http://tinyurl.com/n7geo5b

  77. I hope your son laughs in her face when she asks him to take her back.

  78. Yea, Scott, that’s what I’m going for with him.

  79. President Pussy hotlink – denied!

  80. Hmm, I sense there will be an update to Mare’s Musings today.

  81. CariN, even if GF gets her need for pirates out of her system and comes crawling back, it sounds like the children issue is a big deal. Lots more fish out there.

  82. Second link didn’t work, but I imagine if Obama had been in the soldier’s position, it would have been a rather unflattering picture.

    Which leads into the issue that was brought up by photo-journalists yesterday: the complete and utter control the White House exerts over images of the president. And Chewbacca.

  83. “I big giant pussy”

    That one?

  84. CariN, even if GF gets her need for pirates out of her system and comes crawling back, it sounds like the children issue is a big deal

    Yea, my other kids were going off about that last night. They know the rules.

  85. Try now, Cyn.

  86. Well, I certainly cocked that up and not in a good way.

  87. No.

  88. That’s the one, scott.

    Although I like the dumpster fire one, too.

  89. I got out of bed for this?

  90. I no big giant pussy.

  91. Mare, no worries. We are always having meetups.

    I feel certain that when someone hosts the next one (which is not in Michigan) (but yet also not near your home in TX when you are out of town,) (and also not in a city you frequently visit but the hostage that you want to meet that lives there has so inconveniently moved away), you will be able to attend and there will be no scheduling conflict.

    Certain. I am certain of this, and anyone who disagrees will have to argue mightily to overcome my steadfast confidence in your dedication to making this happen.

  92. *crosses ‘fuck with Mare’ off To-Do List

  93. I’ve got a headache.

    No kids = deal breaker. We had two friends who agreed with their spouses-to-be to hold off having kids for awhile after marriage. One agreed to 10 years (they married right after high school)…the other was a bit vague.
    After 10 years, our friend’s wife said ‘hey, it’s ten years, I’m not getting any younger’.
    The other’s wife after about 5 years, ‘hey, I think we’ve waited long enough’.
    Both men balked and threw shit fits. They both came very close to losing their wives.
    When the clock starts ticking…that’s not a clock, it’s a freight train….

  94. Update on my ebay woes.

    I contacted the company on the buyer’s behalf. The company responded and is working to help me out.

    I contacted the buyer and told her about it while reminding her of my sale’s stated terms.

    She escalated and wants a refund. Says item wasn’t as described.

    I’m shocked. My shocked face –> O_o

  95. I’m in Tampa until February. Plan accordingly.

  96. In all seriousness, I hope your son is ok. It sounds like he’s better off, but I’m sure that’s difficult to see at the moment.

  97. >> ‘mare’ means ocean

    Mare Tranquillitatis is where Apollo 11 landed. The Sea of Tranquility.

    see how fuckin tricky Latin can be?

  98. Greetings, douche galleons.

  99. I think Carin’s son should wait awhile before he starts having children.

  100. So Harry Reid flips off McConnell and co. and strips them of their ability to represent their constituents,and McConnell is out there saying ‘tea party’ people are bullies and need to be punched. Nice.

  101. Yeppers, beasn, that is pretty much the way of it. LIB

  102. *smears glue on Oso, then dips her in glitter*

    *dries her out on the windowsill*

    *hangs her on the Christmas tree*

    Check out my cute new bear ornament!

  103. hotspur, he needs to find a girl who wants them, first.

  104. McConnell’s office and Rove’s guy are denying it, Oso. It’s possible it’s a false flag from the other side, as a unified GOP helps the dems not at all. Until we get an unedited audio, I’m withholding judgment.

  105. hotspur, he needs to find a girl who wants them, first.

    Of course this is the point. Why waste time with one who doesn’t have the same goals?

  106. I feel certain that when someone hosts the next one (which is not in Michigan)

    I think Mare would like my deck, though. It might redeem Michigan.

  107. I bet she’d love the ghetto bar.

  108. Mare can’t be trusted in Ann Arbor. The concentration of liberal asshats is too high. She might blow.

  109. Carin, your deck redeems North America.

  110. :)

  111. In all seriousness, I hope your son is ok. It sounds like he’s better off, but I’m sure that’s difficult to see at the moment.

    I asked him if he’d texted her, and he said “a little bit,but she texted first.”

    I told him to NOT text her all weekend. Just don’t. Go have fun with your friends.

  112. I think Mare would like my deck

    How big is your deck?

  113. How big is your deck?

    Big enough. No worries, Mate.

  114. She might blow.

    Too easy.

  115. I asked him if he’d texted her, and he said “a little bit,but she texted first.”

    That’s just bad game, right there. He should have ignored them completely or responded with “…” or complete non sequitors.

  116. It is a nice deck.

  117. Drink service is a little slow though.

  118. The soup of the day never changes, either.

  119. Limited dessert menu.

  120. Of course this is the point. Why waste time with one who doesn’t have the same goals?

    Yep. Mr. Beasn graduated a year and a half before me. He found a job and moved away. I was a year out from graduating myself. We’re still dating, no talk of the future.
    So I told him that maybe we should see other people because my goal was marriage and a family one day and if he wasn’t on board, I didn’t think we should waste each other’s time.
    We were engaged within a month or two.

  121. Comment by Pupster on November 22, 2013 11:17 am
    Nothing worse than being bossed around by someone less bright, imho.
    *cough*
    ====================
    Now that was funny, Pups,

  122. I found the view on the deck to be spectacular.

    And Little Jerry. Who can forget Little Jerry?

  123. Hey, she gave birth in Ann Arbor. She probably has some fond memories of this liberal land of hypocrisy and failure.

  124. It took Nixon to go to China

    It took Freddy Mercury to sing “Fat Bottomed Girls”

    It took Mare to give birth in Ann Arbor

  125. It took Freddy Mercury to sing “Fat Bottomed Girls”

    I have seriously, seriously never understood how this came about.

  126. If Mare’s oldest is under 36, then I was in Ann Arbor when she gave birth. Another failed meat-up.

    We should just start referring to missing a meat-up as maring.

    Me: Lauraw, are you going to the meat-up next summer?

    Lauraw: No, I think I need to mare that one.

  127. If she is between 16 and 20, I was there too.

  128. Actually, pretty much any time between 1994 and 2011, minus 2002.

  129. I was in AA one weekend in 1986.

    Another failed meetup.

    These are just piling up, aren’t they?

  130. Carin, we refer to it a A2. AA is something else entirely.

  131. Ga. I don’t want to go to work.

    sigh.

    I don’t even want to go outside.

  132. I was in AA one weekend in 1986.

    Keep coming back. It works if you work it.

  133. a = as

  134. a = as

    Only for cases where s = 1. Otherwise, you suck at math.

  135. Or a = 0.

  136. So one of the hip babies had a cold. Case cancelled. So only a single hip day today. Two days ago the first of three hips cancelled due to a cold. I was psyched for a rare triple hip day. The case I got to do today went well. Cute little red headed 14 month old girl I was able to put her hip back in the socket closed with manipulation and hold with a spica cast (body cast). So much better for the baby than doing it open.

    And then, boobs.

    Heckuva job MJ.

  137. Heckuva job MJ.

    *appoints MJ to head FEMA
    *supplies BBFs to US Senate as proof of competence

  138. The H2: Come for the boobs, stay for the hips.

  139. >>>The H2: Come for the boobs, stay for the hips.

    http://tinyurl.com/ot5qrz3

    I like the way you’re thinking!

  140. Jimbro, tell me you have her phone number.

    It’s okay if it’s confidential patient info. You… uh… got hacked. By a hacker.

  141. I like big decks and I cannot lie.

  142. What a fucking day.

    Holy cow.

  143. I wish she was someone other than a random image search for “yoga pants girl”. Sadly, that’s an anonymous ass, whose name is known only to the photographer.

  144. hahahaha…you, dicks.

    I have good reasons for missing meat ups.

  145. I saw Holy Cow open for Anonymous Ass and the Big Deck Band in ’95 at the Garden

  146. We all have good reasons.

    *eyes lauraw sideways

  147. We all have good reasons.
    *eyes lauraw sideways

    What’s that supposed to mean?

  148. I’m growing out my bangs but I’m sick of looking like a middle aged, suburban mom emo.

  149. What’s that supposed to mean?
    —————————
    Lame joke. As per usual.

  150. “What a fucking day.
    Holy cow.”

    Why, MJ?

  151. I think MJ meant to imply that I am the reason people choose not to attend meatups. This was likely an attempt at humor, by way of playfully indicting my personality.

    Since I have just stung him in the neck and deposited an egg on his paralyzed body, we will never to analyze his joke methodology again.

  152. I miss meat-ups because a: I’m anti-social, 2. I’m poor, iv. I’d just sit in the corner and make the occasional snarky comment that you all would ignore (see a. above) just like here.

  153. I feel woozy and I’m craving pickles and hobo carcass. What is wrong with me?

  154. So, okay, on a scale of 1 to Michael Jackson, how weird would I be if I started wearing one of these under a baggy sweater, like pretty much all day?

  155. You should host, Pepe. I hear you’ve got a bunkhouse.

    Steer roast, bring your own beer and work gloves.

  156. I’ve spent much of the day trying to buy a CNC machine. It will either help my business immensely, be an expensive failure, or something in between. Waiting on the bank to approve the wire transfer.

  157. Not weird, very effective especially if you do any plyometrics. You can really increase your vertical.*

    *not that you need to

  158. Might as well get a real ballistic vest Leon. That’s what people will think anyway.

    I don’t think it’s weird because I know why you would be doing it, for training.

  159. That’s cool, Leon. Do you go through security at Federal buildings or airports? If so, you’ll be really popular.

  160. I’ve spent much of the day trying to buy a CNC machine.

    Those things are cool.

  161. I love working out:

  162. A real ballistic vest is a lot pricier. I’ve checked.

  163. Lauraw and Scott:

    http://tinyurl.com/mqfgrj7

    Or any woman at Home Depot who needs help and Scott.

  164. Why, MJ?
    ——————-
    The people that we sold the house to think they are the Sopranos. It’s sort of funny because it’s a regular neighborhood. Govoni. I guess it makes them feel important or something.

    Anyhoo, they’ve been a bit strange. During the inspection, which took three hours, I left to run some errands. When I got back the inspector told me the wife of the guy’s company (not the actual people) came by and took a look around. She thought it was ok to just walk around a house that didn’t’ belong to her. Weird.

    Then today, they wanted to see it again. I agreed to meet them there and their lawyer just started pushing on the front door, then realized it was locked, and knocked. When I opened the door he just walked in and said, “is Caitlin here yet?”

    I was a bit astonished so just said, ‘who are you?’

    I obviously knew people were coming at that time, but had no idea who this guy was.

    I think they are used to dealing with foreclosures or abandoned properties. They wanted this house because it’s next to the house they bought for their daughter two years ago.

    I just don’t understand why anyone would cross the threshold of a door that doesn’t belong to them without being invited.

    It’s just odd.

    Whatever. They paid full price what we would have taken from a real estate agent so it’s all good.

  165. Oh man. They have a 60#.

  166. I just don’t understand why anyone would cross the threshold of a door that doesn’t belong to them without being invited.

    At least you know they aren’t vampires.

  167. People can act very strange, MJ.

    And no, they shouldn’t act like they own the place yet, unless of course you have their money.

  168. Be careful for your back, Leon. I can imagine a 60# weight up that high really screwing you up if you twist wrong at the waist or something.

  169. You should walk around with a big cast iron plate around your neck, like Flava Flav’s clock.

  170. We didn’t close until 11am today.

    Like I said, it was very weird. I plan on throwing around the word C-U-N-T at the neighborhood christmas party a little. And possibly using the term fat slob. Dunno, we’ll see. Might even go taco licking butt fucker. I’m working on my conjunctive swearing so who knows what level I’ll be at in a few weeks.

    A few years ago we got a letter on our door stating what assholes these people were from their next door neighbor and I dismissed it as weird suburban bullshit. Turns out the neighbor was spot on.

  171. Noted, Laura. If I got the 60# it would be aspirational. I’d adjust it down to 40# to start, which would put me at about 10# shy of my old body weight.

  172. I’m not sure what’s more strange, that leon would wear a bullet proof vest or that we all sort of expect it.

  173. MJ, just ruined a neighborhood….niiiiiice.

    Be sure to yell, “SUCKERS” at the top of your lungs as you drive away for the last time.

  174. Stop working out and grow your own vest.

  175. “….which would put me at about 10# shy of my old body weight.”

    What? When you were a baby?

  176. Mare, I was 230+ prior to TFG getting elected.

  177. My “fat leon in Paris POL” pic has me at like 225 I think.

  178. Technically your old body weight is zero.

    /leon

  179. wot?

  180. Dad bought me a 1/2 lb of really good prosciutto yesterday.

    I just realized I have melons, ripe pears, and prosciutto in the house.

    Appetizers for breakfast tomorrow!

  181. Just checking in for BBF.

    It’s just a coincidence I’m here on Fridays .. really

  182. “I just realized I have melons,”

    Hahahahahahaha

    That just sounds wrong.

  183. “Mare, I was 230+ prior to TFG getting elected.”

    What??? No way. Your Paris picture certainly doesn’t look that big.

  184. There is something growing on my neck. I can feel it. It seems to be thrashing about and gnashing its teeth.

    I’m not crazy.

  185. My weight hasn’t changed in years, yet I look completely different.

    Exercise blog!!1!!!

    http://is.gd/eV5PzG

  186. Bad luck, Oso.

    It’s raining here in the desert.

  187. 3rd day of rain here. Snow in the mtns. Temps were in the mid-30s when it was raining. Could have snow with accumulation soon. Weather Blog!!!

  188. This post has a very important update.

  189. Going out for ribs tonight.

    woot!

  190. Face ripper is precious.

  191. I kind of like how the executive branch is just sort of doing whatever they want these days.

    Mandate? Fuck it.

    Deadlines? Zero fucks.

    Accountability? Bish, please.

  192. This is definitely going to happen here if we let this crap get going:

    http://tinyurl.com/mzk7q52

  193. For Mare only. No one else look.

    http://tinyurl.com/plpa7cw

  194. What??? No way. Your Paris picture certainly doesn’t look that big.

    I carried it well, and the camera was pointing downward to get the backdrop. But I was huge.

    My weight hasn’t changed in years, yet I look completely different.

    I’m a very different 180# today than I was on the way down. Or on the way up the first time. Composition is everything.

  195. Oh man, I love the internet.

    http://is.gd/qTrVg7

    I can’t stop laughing.

  196. I missed the part where “Muslim” is a race.

  197. So, MJ, once you start your new life in Charleston, are you just going to be gay and not worry about it?

  198. Well, assface, I’m actually moving to Charlotte, and no, assface, I’m going to stay in the closet.

    Why, what have you heard?

  199. Holy shit, I think I found Rosetta. Tell me that doesn’t look like him.

    http://is.gd/dCfq5M

  200. That was uncalled for MJ. Fuck. At least warn someone first.

  201. Ok, ok.

    EVERYONE LISTEN UP:

    The above picture appears to be a likeness of Rosetta and bcoch engaged in what is termed ‘leather daddy’ role play. I believe, although can not confirm as he can, that it is a homosexual arrangement where an older male is dominant over bcoch.

    Bcoch emailed me that picture with this caption:

    MJ, does this chain make me look fat?

    I think he’s hitting on me, but I don’t want him to feel bad about getting turned down again.

  202. Hotspur, I saw that earlier and was fairly successful at choking down my bile.

  203. Ohplease ohplease let me get MJ for secret santa.

  204. hahahah…It really does look like Rosetta and Bcock.

    This place, I tell you, is worth the loss of dignity.

  205. So what are you up to tonight mare, bcoch?

  206. Is anyone else sick to death of hearing that asshat JFK speaking today?

  207. Waiting for my husband to finish up in his office. (All you whores can shut your mouths)

    Going out to dinner but I would be happy to sit home and watch Castle and drink wine and switch to college football or watch home videos of our girls.

  208. Sounds like a nice evening.

    Try not to barf in a cup under the table.

  209. Leon, haven’t heard him. Watching basketball.

  210. Anybody need any golf balls?

  211. Have you tools ever watched Pitch Perfect? It’s a really fun movie with great music.

    This is an FSU group getting in on the action.

  212. Not the best group I’ve seen but this song is hot right now and they capitalized on it.

  213. Who doesn’t remember where they were when Kennedy was shot?

    http://tinyurl.com/loz2x8r

  214. >>>Who doesn’t remember where they were when Kennedy was shot?

    Well, it was almost 20 years before I was born…

    And mare’s jokes don’t bother me. She’s not even real. MJ, you better hope I’m not your secret santa. *evil laugh*

  215. Afternoon.

  216. Oh crap! Stupid Michigan is back in the game.

  217. Nessie says HI!

  218. Well, it was almost 20 years before I was born…

    Get. Off. Of. My. LAWN!!!

  219. >>>Get. Off. Of. My. LAWN!!!

    In fact, my dad had just turned 9….

  220. Awww…Nessie is getting big!

  221. Today I built five (5) of these (kill me NAO!):

    http://tinyurl.com/bm49fw2

    and one (1) of these:

    http://tinyurl.com/ny9zpyn

  222. MAAARE!!!!

    http://tinyurl.com/l4h87wb

  223. In fact, my dad had just turned 9….

    Well, I had just turned 3, so….

    (fuck)

  224. JEWSTIN!!!!!!

    http://tinyurl.com/l4h87wb

  225. Are we still ignoring Pepe while he makes snarky comments in the corner?

  226. MJ, you better hope I’m not your secret santa. *evil laugh*
    ————————-
    I’m sure you’ll arrange something with Cyn. She’s wily like that.

  227. >>>ell, I had just turned 3, so….
    (fuck)

    And my dad waited till his later 20’s before having kids. Which means….*counting fingers*…carry the 2…….HEY! You’re old enough to be my dad!

    buahahahahahahhahaha.

  228. >>>Are we still ignoring Pepe while he makes snarky comments in the corner?

    Who’s Pepe?

  229. Are we still ignoring Pepe while he makes snarky comments in the corner?

    who?

  230. buahahahahahahhahaha.

    You’re grounded.

  231. Oso what are you doing RIGHT NOW?

  232. I was only 2 mos old. I was 13 when we moved to Texas. I guess if the Tea Party and Southern GOPers could kill him, I should be able to remember where I was.

  233. >>>You’re grounded.

    I hate you! You can’t tell me what to do! I’m an adult and shit!!!

  234. and by the way, my 19 year old daughter wasn’t born until I was 33.

    So I’m not that old.

    wait….

    (fuck!)

  235. Drinking wine, watching basketball, surfing the inter webs, and reading an Allison Brennan novel. You?

  236. I was only 2 mos old.

    oh fuck it all, just read the goddamn Onion piece. It’s funny.

  237. I remember Reagan being shot. I remember Columbia’s first liftoff. I remember the day Challenger blew up. I remember 9/11.

  238. I did read it. It was cute. Dovetails nicely with all the BS conspiracy pieces I’ve been seeing all week.

  239. I hate you! You can’t tell me what to do! I’m an adult and shit!!!

    That’s it. Hand over the car keys.

    NOW, mister!!!

  240. Duffelblog has a good one too.

  241. Cloudy and 45 this morning, now it’s 27 and snowing lightly. Brrrrrrrr. I hate cold gray weather.

  242. I did read it. It was cute. Dovetails nicely with all the BS conspiracy pieces I’ve been seeing all week.

    I loved the last line.

    So cutting in so many ways.

  243. I remember Reagan being shot. I remember Columbia’s first liftoff. I remember the day Challenger blew up. I remember 9/11.

    Ah, but do you remember your first blowjob?

  244. It’s funny the things you remember. I remember watching the First Gulf War on the nightly news with my parents. I remember watching BillyJeff’s inauguration in my 6th Grade class. I remember the White Ford Bronco. I remember “I did not have sexual relations..”. I remember virtually every moment of the morning of 9/11.

  245. >>>That’s it. Hand over the car keys.
    NOW, mister!!!

    YOU ARE SO UNFAIR!!!!!!

  246. YOU ARE SO UNFAIR!!!!!!

    You live under my roof, you live by my rules.

  247. JFK was worm food before I was born.

  248. >>>You live under my roof, you live by my rules.

    YOU’RE NOT EVEN MY REAL DAD!!!!11!!

  249. You?
    —————–
    A friend is coming over. We were going to get a nice dinner but I don’t really feel like it.

    Listening to Tom Waits and playing with the doggeh.

  250. Speaking of blowjobs….

    Guess what I got for my birthday from the bride!!!!!
    .
    .
    .
    .
    Furniture

  251. >>>YOU’RE NOT EVEN MY REAL DAD!!!!11!!

    (Why did I get a sudden chill down my spine?)

  252. Ah, but do you remember your first blow job?
    ————————-
    Bert?

  253. The assassination happened four days after my dad’s seventeenth birthday. Since we come from old Illinois Republican stock (making him part of the CLIMATE OF HATE) I’m sure it was like a late present for him.

  254. Huh. JFK is still dead. Who knew?

  255. >>>YOU’RE NOT EVEN MY REAL DAD!!!!11!!

    *inserts bad “are you sure?” joke here

  256. >>>*inserts bad “are you sure?” joke here

    Lol. Reasonably.

  257. >>>Huh. JFK is still dead. Who knew?

    And Ted Kennedy is celebrating his 1556th day of sobriety

  258. I can barely remember high school at all. I have some memories of things that happened but I have no idea how I felt.

    It’s like it happened to someone else.

  259. >>>Lol. Reasonably.

    *whew

  260. >>>And Ted Kennedy is celebrating his 1556th day of sobriety

    No fucking way his body has dried out yet.

  261. Ah, but do you remember your first blowjob?

    I remember the first one I received. Also the second. The second was much better.

  262. >>>No fucking way his body has dried out yet.

    Damn good thing they didn’t cremate him.

    http://tinyurl.com/o2q4qpp

  263. I remember the first one I received.

    Did you blank out the first one you gave?

  264. >>>Also the second. The second was much better.

    But tasted horrible, didn’t it?

  265. >>>Damn good thing they didn’t cremate him.

    Sure they did. They’re just doing it in pieces. How do think this gets fueled?

    http://tinyurl.com/q6b9ypm

  266. >>>Did you blank out the first one you gave?

    *insert Price Is Right fail horn here

  267. >>>http://tinyurl.com/q6b9ypm

    HAHAHAHAHA!!!!

    That sumbitch is never going out….

  268. See? No right way to answer that.

  269. We are officially on STORMWATCH!!!!!

  270. Do not click on this unless you want to hear my concert band perform:

  271. I was born 9 months later.

    Hmmm.

  272. lmao

    Kennedy Conspiracist in the current thread at the HQ.

    This is gonna be fun.

  273. That song was written for Columbine HS after the shootings.

    The composer wanted to write a song based on their school song. He learned that they didn’t have a school song, so he wrote one for them and then wrote this based on that.

    The trumpet you hear at around 6 minutes is meant to be played from off-stage.

    It’s a very touching piece. While the audio sucks, it sounded great live.

    Very hard to play with watering eyes….

  274. On a brighter note, The Magnificent Seven!

  275. Harlem Nocturne!

  276. I’m sure it’s just a coincidence that everybody suddenly made themselves scarce.

  277. Wiser’s links are long. 8+, 3+, and 3+. Then I get distracted and rewatch some Ragu Kid.

  278. They’re all listening to great music.

    Speaking of which…

    Great song from horrible movie

    Watch the tubas

  279. Who’s the faggot with the tuba?

  280. Way to kill it.

  281. MAAARE!!!!
    http://tinyurl.com/l4h87wb

    That’s a great gif!

  282. Hey Cyn, I need to talk to you about Secret Santa.

    Nobody read this but Cyn.

  283. *winks and finger-guns BC*

    No worries, buddy.

    Oh, and nobody read this but Brent.

  284. Hey! You can’t bribe Cyn to get MJ as your victim! Secret Satan has rules!!

  285. Rules are a scam.

    /scott

  286. SECRET SATAN – you go here and sign up now!
    http://wp.me/pb9T5-9Yu

    Here’s some incentive: http://is.gd/S2HOA0

  287. And Cyn can’t be bribed! Rats, should’ve gone with that first.

  288. Did anybody use a hidden camera to expose shocking health code violations inside anybody else’s restaurant today?

  289. PMing with Sohos this morning. She misses everyone and misses Secret Satan.

  290. I’m sorry she left us, but from your updates, it sounds like she’s having a nice life. And that’s a nice thing.

  291. >>>And Cyn can’t be bribed!

  292. And Cyn can’t be bribed!

    That’s right.

    *cough*

  293. And Cyn can’t be bribed!

    Damn.

    *Hurls chocolate mocha cheesecake into pig trough*

  294. That video had no effect on me at all, Brent. NoSireeBob. Nope.

    (Psssst – call me *does that hand-phone-shape-thing to the ear*)

  295. Comment by Jay in Ames on November 22, 2013 7:18 pm

    I was born 9 months later.

    Hmmm.

    _____________________________

    My brother from another mother….me too!

  296. *Hurls chocolate mocha cheesecake into pig trough*

  297. Cyn……http://youtu.be/d1k2SNtq79c

  298. I swear, this is NOT me: http://is.gd/eKcAQk

  299. http://tinyurl.com/kj944dv

  300. We just had a nice family dinner at Fridays. Our waitress was really good…she even flirted a little with Boy2. He didn’t know whether to shit or go blind. She got a nice tip.

  301. Holy shit, I never noticed this before…

    http://tinyurl.com/ktexc3m

    Someone alert Ace!

  302. What the Fuck, Over?

  303. Sean, that’s fucking awesome.

    The only thing I ever found was KaBoom oven cleaner.

  304. Cyn.

    What up girl?

  305. Wiser, your band has gotten a lot better since that time we went to see you!

  306. http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=SpkSejI8OQE

  307. Corgis always look so happy.

  308. Folks better start bringing me some funny/interesting/news/booze or I’m gonna start cutting people.

  309. http://www.liveleak.com/view?i=2e1_1384967953

  310. I think they are the stoners of the dog world.

    http://tinyurl.com/pd5zdwq

  311. It is a little chilly here today.
    I like chilly

  312. Here you go, b-rad. Sorry it doesn’t include the street address…

    http://tinyurl.com/lgy8jcn

  313. Breastfeeding kills BBF.

  314. blerg

  315. What is Face Ripper wearing up there?

  316. Dan just got home from work. Dinner and doggeh time.

  317. What’s the soup today, Car in?

  318. 3 more cups left!

  319. Hi Car in
    is wiser into self immolation?

  320. Burning couches smell very bad, and the crap that doesn’t burn is sharp and pointy.

  321. THE SOUP IS THE FOCHIN SAME EVERY DAY.

    Wiser is planning his cremation.

    I missed this convo, but I have both my dad’s and my grandma’s remains currently residing with me. My grandpa’s are missing – some thought there were here, but I’m at a loss. Perhaps I should search my dad’s room?

  322. Grandma is right here above my computer. She died back in … ’94.

    Oye. Grandpa could never figure out what to do with her, and somehow she ended up here (after he passed, I think?)

    Now I”ve got my dad here too. It’s like a collection.

  323. Okay, so what’s the soup every day?

  324. Two cats. Two sets of cremains.

    Should I worry? Am I officially in weird status?

  325. wtf??

  326. fack. Cheesy potato, clam chowder, seafood chowder, and french onion.

    [please don’t order the french onion]

    It screws up my timing.

  327. wtf what, Lauraw?

    *gets ready to “go”

  328. Obviously, I should get Wiser’s remains. I’ve got shelf space.

    Next to the dildo ok?

  329. That’s actually a pretty good pic of Wiser.

  330. French Onion is great!
    I have 2 cool wooden boxes that held the remains of Ruby and Bear. Before I moved to Texas I scattered their remains around the favorite spots in my yard they liked to hang.

    Now I have 2 creepy but cool wooden boxes that I don’t know what to do with.

  331. Two cats. Two sets of cremains.

    Um, I think I’ll have the salad.

  332. WTF, regarding Wiser’s pic. I worry.

  333. I saw Wiser open for Wiserbud at Burning Man back in ’11.

  334. I will have another bourbon thank you

  335. “https://thehostages.files.wordpress.com/2013/11/image.jpg
    3 more cups left!”

    I approve!

  336. Wiser explained…

  337. I thought we were out of Sriracha. We had a brand new bottle in the pantry.

  338. I kinda wanna start pouring Siracha sauce on everything, and then watch Miley Cyrus be surprised when she licks it.

  339. You do realize that it doesn’t go on clear, right?

  340. I realize Miley isn’t that bright.

  341. Good point.

  342. big!

  343. I derp it hardcore, like porno-flick bitches
    I roll with groups of ghetto bastards with biscuits

  344. http://www.mediaite.com/tv/foxs-red-eye-announces-the-departure-of-repulsive-sidekick-bill-schulz/

    There goes the best job Bill was ever going to have.

  345. wakerey

  346. Good morning all!

    You don’t ever f%ck crazy:

    http://www.newsobserver.com/2013/11/22/3396116/jury-in-mangum-murder-trial-continue.html

  347. Morning, children.

  348. Gimme a few minutes, and I’ll have a new poat up.

  349. Obamajob all day today.

    stupid Obama

  350. New poat!


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