First, there was Lemon Bear Dick Punch. It was an attempt to put four words together in a totally new, completely randomly ridiculous sequence. Today, I humbly submit that BBMP is possibly even moar dumb than LBDP. If I make the meat face, I’ll tell you the story of how it came about. By my calculations, that gives me about 99.0789 days to make something up, make and sell enough of the red meth for airfare, and get my bones stretched to ‘normal’ proportions.
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Checking Your Mom's Drawers for Hope&Change since March 2009 
This post confuses me. And I wrote it.
Declare victory. Move on.
Also, good morning.
http://imgur.com/VLjFeHF
Good morning all!
This post is certainly an interesting combination of parts that, together, form an unintelligible scrawl. And by *interesting* I mean “fucked up”.
/slurps coffee and peers over lip of mug at monitor
WTFITS MJ?
waker waker
It’s art.
Duh.
Art
Obviously, you’ve killed the blog with this post.
My comment went to spam. Probably best that way.
Here’s a bit of sanity from the WSJ:
http://online.wsj.com/article/SB10001424127887323623304579059571477464750.html
Again with the spam
http://tinyurl.com/okbkuwf
My shoulders are a bit sore from Cross fit.
This is a new thing. I haven’t had sore shoulders from a workout in years. Not in this spot. It was from a lift I’ve never done.
Moarnninn, cool kids. And MJ.
Freed one of you from teh bucket, Jimbro.
——————-
Oh my… isn’t this a plucky poat today.
Crackfit. We thought of that at work yesterday.
Best advice for that Car in, don’t rest waiting for the pain to go away, get another workout in. I have found those muscle pains in weird places as well, Crossfit just has you doing movements you just aren’t used to doing.
Do 5 sets of 10 Kegels.
Crackpipe Fitbots.
Declare victory. Move on.
http://i.imgur.com/80kOjAn.gif
Pretty sure I know that guy.
After seeing the title of this poat, I was afraid PJM was posting links again. **hits the black tar heroin to forget**
I never wait for pain to go away to work out again.
What kind of kookie talk is that?
I may be a crackfit noob, but I’m not a workout noob.
My next crackfit isn’t until tomorrow – but I’m hitting my regular gym today.
I woke up at 2 and changed the dressing on my finger from gauze and wrap to 3 fabric band-aids. That was the first time blood didn’t simply pour out of the wound, so it must be healing.
Seriously?
Did you rub dirt in it Leon?
Car in, if they had you doing snatches or any similar movement for time, run away now. This is basically begging god for an orthopedic injury.
twerkfit
I figured you knew, but I have had pains last longer than most normal workout muscle fatigue usually does and made the mistake of waiting, never again.
Did you rub dirt in it Leon?
Better, I rubbed meat on it immediately after the injury.
Morning, children. Nice poat.
Naw. I still get sore for two days after my p90x leg workout. Don’t know why that one still gets me EVERY time, but it does.
Swimming was a success last night and the tri I’m looking at is in a lagoon. A LAGOON!
That means no waves.
*prepares award winning speech
Will there be creatures?
Did your finger hurt when you rubbed your meat, Leon?
Of course it did, I’d just cut it pretty badly.
*wonders if Pepe might not be so smrt*
After seeing the title of this poat, I was afraid PJM was posting links again.
**hits the black tar heroin to forget**
*nods, and waves hands to pass over the forgetty medicine*
There will be a pack of people. I’m generally a slow swimmer but there’s always a group of fatties at tris that will make a better meal than I.
serverfit
Of course it did, I’d just cut it pretty badly.
*wonders if Pepe might not be so smrt*
*wonders how smrt Leon is if he’s rubbing his meat with his ouchie hand*
I read this blog, Leon, how smart could I be?
Didn’t Gilligan’s Island have a lagoon?
Chest pains? Run it off.
This seems perfect for this poat:
There’s no chest pains in thisain’tnoworkoutforlittlebitchesfit.
Cyn, it was high-quality meat. That’s pretty much a cure-all.
There will be a pack of people. I’m generally a slow swimmer but there’s always a group of fatties at tris that will make a better meal than I.
Ask Pepe what happens to the herd if the lead bull stops moving forward.
Hmmm, ever wonder who came up with acupuncture? They had to say, “Yannow, my arm hurts, I think I’ll stab a needle in my stomach and see if that helps.”
Bulls don’t lead, they mainly follow the cows around looking to get laid.
/Leon
Same rule for locust swarms, Pupster. The whole swarm is basically “following” about 1% of the swarm that’s actually going somewhere purposefully. Most of the intelligence of the swarm is embodied several simple rules:
1) Follow the guy in front of you. He might know where food is.
2) Eat him if he slows down too much.
3) Don’t hit the guys next to you. You’ll stop and get eaten.
4) Don’t slow down. The guy behind you will eat you.
1) Follow the guy in front of you. He might know where food is.
2) Eat him if he slows down too much.
3) Don’t hit the guys next to you. You’ll stop and get eaten.
4) Don’t slow down. The guy behind you will eat you.
———————————-
Are we talking about mare at a TexMex buffet?
Well, I can see this poat crashed and burned into a flaming pile earlier than usual.
And where’s this buffet you’re talking about?
1) Follow the guy in front of you. He might know where food is.
2) Eat him if he slows down too much.
3) Don’t hit the guys next to you. You’ll stop and get eaten.
4) Don’t slow down. The guy behind you will eat you.
—————————
While I was trying to decide whether to go with a crosstwerk joke, or one about MJ’s triathlon, MJ went and made a funneh.
Bulls don’t lead, they mainly follow the cows around looking to get laid.
Nevah mind. Maybe I was thinking of Buffalo. I’ve read a lot of western books, mostly fiction. One of the hunting strategies I read about was to kill the lead bull so the herd stops running and wonders who is in charge.
ALWAYS, ALWAYS follow the money:
– Qatar wants to build a gas pipeline thru Turkey to Austria.
-It also has to go thru Syria
-Assad in Syria has said no, it will hurt Russia (Gazprom’s gas monopoly in the EU)
-Putin has accumulated a large share of Gazprom
-France wants the gas, but must first overthrow Assad
Glenn Beck has been talking about this for a while.
http://freedomoutpost.com/2013/09/coming-war-syria-natural-gas-pipeline/
I can’t imagine that actually working, Pupster. Who tells the second row to stop? Seems like they’d just collide with the first row and you’d get a compression wave propagating back through the herd.
Don’t believe what you read in westerns. Cattle don’t hang around in a big herd, they are in little groups. Horses always stick together. An older mare leads horse herds.
OTOH, you’d still have a lot of dead/maimed buffalo.
Tatanka.
/Swims with Fatties
MJ – what stores to couples register at for weddings in FLorida? I’ve searched three stores and haven’t found their name.
Don’t make me CALL my family.
Comment by Car in on September 10, 2013 10:27 am
what stores to couples register at for weddings in FLorida?
==========
Hooters?
You could try Dillard’s or Macy’s.
Stop ‘n Go?
Sip’n’Suds?
Ralphs?
Piggly Wiggly?
Dollar General?
Found ’em registered at WIlliams -Sonoma. Plain, white boring bowl for $70.
@@
But that $350 saucepan looks nice.
I don’t think Putin wants any bombs falling in Syria. His guy is winning, for crying out loud.
I’m glad that nothing is going to happen, though. We seem to have lost sight that Obama created this by not staying on script. He was going to risk war because of his inability to read only what is on the prompter. FFS.
Macy’s! Lets see if there is something reasonable that doesn’t SUCK on this list.
Oh, look. A vera wang serving bowl for $165.
Does a $216 toaster do a better job that the $40 ones?
Vera Wang?
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8====D
Ffft. Wedding gift? Green, foldable cash. Wins over the registry list every time. Especially nowadays. Young people see so little actual green money, it’s like a novelty to them.
And what’s funny is that when they get actual money, they won’t spend it on that high-priced crap at Williams-Sonoma. Suddenly they’ll discover the difference between a fancy wish list and *actual needs.*
Second choice: Amazon gift card.
I guess some people might think money is a gauche gift? Well, no one I know has ever regifted it.
cash is king.
Cash is Queen.
(Please remember that we’re all gay now)
Haha.
I never saw Dave’s comment.
Dave siroting is my screen saver because it makes me laugh every single time I see it.
BAM!
I dunno, Lauraw. Apparently the bride is a shopper. She’ll just take my hard-earned cash to the outlet mall, and buy another purse she’ll throw into her closet and never use.
HAH!
Don’t hit me bro!
Also, I think there is a regional element to this. I know out East, $$$ is pretty much the norm. Not so much by me. My friend’s daughter is getting married this weekend, and I think she’d be offended if I gave cash.
Ohai
http://tinyurl.com/q567kg8
I hope people offend the shit out of me this way.
The bucks we got came in very handy on the honeymoon. Stopped at a hardware store on our way to Luling for some duct tape and some bubble wrap.
I’m gonna need a putty knife to get my eyebrows down off the ceiling.
http://tinyurl.com/nfw6vjq
Apparently the bride is a shopper.
Ah well in that case you should just take a picture of a $100 swirling down a toilet and mail it to her. Same difference.
My sister used to be like that. I know that now she is raising two kids on her own, she wishes she could have back a penny for every dollar she blew on useless bullshit when she was younger.
For some people shopping is an addictive behavior. A short-lived high that makes them feel amazing.
I’m living the dream here people! Laundry, oil change and tire rotation! Oh, and cheesy movies on Netflix too!
Hi, MCPO, where have you been, I’ve missed you.
I have been a busy boy, Mare! And if you would stay still, I wouldn’t miss you, IYKWIMAITYD! 😉
I’m about to fly solo with the kids, going to Safeway. Pray for me.
We got a putty knife too but I didn’t wanna mention that part.
Eh. I’m iffy about money gift. I really enjoy the gifts that were given and I still remember the recipient.
Even more special are some things handed down that were gifts my grandparents received.
Ah well in that case you should just take a picture of a $100 swirling down a toilet and mail it to her. Same difference.
Ha ha ha … yea, right?!
I’m kinda prepared to not like the bride. Shopper. Apparently she sits on her arse while my cousin does everything (cleans, etc). She walks into the house, while he gets the bags, etc. Princess she is. Doesn’t cook OR do the dishes.
Perhaps I’m just jealous. I’m doing it wrong.
The one saving grace of my retardo finger injury is that the soup is pretty good.
I’m kinda prepared to not like the bride. Shopper. Apparently she sits on her arse while my cousin does everything (cleans, etc). She walks into the house, while he gets the bags, etc. Princess she is. Doesn’t cook OR do the dishes.
The only way any of that is okay is if she earned her tiara on her knees, IYKWIMAITYD. And even then, it’s not okay, but I’d understand.
That’s what I figured. Hopefully my cousin doesn’t experience the “why does a bride smile as she’s walking down the isle?”-syndrome
I don’t think I’ve ever heard that saying before.
It’s not a saying. It’s a joke.
Why do brides ALWAYS smile as they walk down the isle?
I’ve never had a man laugh at that joke. Ever.
You know what would be yummy today? Gazpacho.
Steak and gazpacho.
dinner is DONE.
So, what’s the joke?
Give her this, Carin.
http://is.gd/BVSexP
Comment by xbradtc on September 10, 2013 11:45 am
I’m about to fly solo with the kids, going to Safeway. Pray for me.
===
Don’t forget to take the shock collars
Comment by leoncaruthers on September 10, 2013 12:02 pm
The one saving grace of my retardo finger injury is that the soup is pretty good.
———-
So, are you gonna cut yourself each time you make soup? or just cut yourself once and save the blood to add later?
Friends of mine are getting married and they set up a page on Honeyfund.com to get $ for the honeymoon. They’ve got enough stuff, and don’t need or want more.
You can check it out: http://www.honeyfund.com/wedding/AllisonPruitt
They’re nice, so please don’t mess with them. You can give $ if you want 😉
Don’t they have brain eating amoebas in lagoons in Florida?
Give her this, Carin.
http://is.gd/BVSexP
See, I would LOVE that. I doubt it would fit-in with her Tiffany’s/William-Sonoma lifestyle.
Yea, we’re not going to get along.
So, are you gonna cut yourself each time you make soup? or just cut yourself once and save the blood to add later?
Nah, I’m just going to add a pint of sangre de rez to future stews.
OMG, Lauraw, I hate you for that garden shop link. I want everything there.
Sometimes, nerds argue whether Kirk or Picard was the better captain. People who argue for Kirk are wrong.
http://hollywoodlife.com/2013/09/09/sunny-ozell-patrick-stewart-wife-married-age-difference/
Well, okay then!
Money for a honeymoon?
Yeah, I’d probably donate to that.
/sarc
Herself made a bunch of gazpacho. Some she freezes for winter time.
Ohai, cute face!
http://tinyurl.com/neqm4n8
I can’t even wrap my mind around that. I’d be looking at a pregnant woman today and then marrying her baby bump 36 years hence.
Trip to Safeway went surprisingly well, but the stepdad (who is a genuinely good guy) left a riding crop in the back of the SUV. That’s an item I’ll remember to remove next time.
There’s probably a riding crop in my wife’s car, why is that weird?
That’s gross leon.
Not gross at all, we have horses, as you’re aware.
Ohhhhhhhhhhhhhh, you meant the other thing.
Yeah, kinda.
I wonder if all of the lefties who posted derogatory remarks about George Zimmerman yesterday will correct themselves on Facebook today.
One friend brought it up to me at the ghetto bar last evening while I was waiting for a pizza. My response was “You’re just accepting the statements of a woman guilty of perjury?”
Don’t know anything about his divorce, but both of the Zimmermans HAD to have gone through hell during the trial.
Death threats, money worries, neighbors clashing, constant news coverage and scrutiny. Not surprised they are getting a divorce, and not surprised they are both showing signs of sever stress.
Greetings, fuckers of clusters.
She walks into the house, while he gets the bags, etc. Princess she is. Doesn’t cook OR do the dishes.
————————–
That will probably end well.
For the lawyers.
In my defense, the cluster was dressed provocatively.
May as well have left raw meat out for a cat.
Who ~doesn’t~ have a riding crop in the car to beat their children with?
Cyn, the problem was, the kids had the riding crop. Uncle Art didn’t.
Heh. I bet you don’t make THAT mistake again.
That’s okay though, the goal is to win the war in the end.
They didn’t whack me with it, so I’m counting it as a win.
I asked for your email xbrad. Forget it, no big deal. I just wanted to see if you had an opinion on what the conditions would be like for a military coup to happen in the US.
*sends secret email to niece and nephew on ways to make their uncle crazy with the riding crop while he’s driving*
I just wanted to see if you had an opinion on what the conditions would be like for a military coup to happen in the US.
There’s a 99% chance that there’s a thread about that going on at any given time over at Kos or DU, if you don’t mind idiocy and bongwater smell.
PWND
do you tip a tow truck driver??
This is real question, need answer fast. Thx!
Found answer. Thanks Tittyweb!!
MJ, an actual, honest-to-goodness banana republic let’s-form-a-junta coup? We’re nowhere near close to that.
We tend to think things are completely in the shitter, but hello, we’ve had a major civil war on our soil that makes the Syrians look like they’re playing patty-cake. Hell, even the civil unrest in 1968 was far, far more widespread than today. We’re so politically stable it is incredible.
That’s not to say that our current political trajectory is sustainable. It’s not. But I’d expect to see the services become more withdrawn, rather than more domestically active.
I was trying to avoid the idiocy, Sean.
Also, if you haven’t fallen for Metric, you’re dead to me.
Just the tip.
WTF? My niece just called and said SHE needed to call a tow truck. What’s the answer, Cyn?
It’s Yes.
Just because it says it on the internet…
Lying is not allowed on the internet.
Are nudes allowed?
Strategy. They keep using this word. I do not think it means what they think it means.
Also, if you haven’t fallen for Metric, you’re dead to me.
I guess it wasn’t enough that I just liked them, huh?
*starts digging grave*
Are nudes allowed?
Not yours. For the love of all humanity, NOT YOURS!
Only from the waist up?
Maybe.
Hotspur, do you spend much time at Home Depot?
Mare?
http://tinyurl.com/qh34oyd
No, Scott. I tend to favor our local lumber yard because it is family owned, and I’ve been on the board of the local homebuilders association with the owner for years.
We do about $30,000 a month with them, and he treats us extremely well.
MJ, an actual, honest-to-goodness banana republic let’s-form-a-junta coup? We’re nowhere near close to that.
We tend to think things are completely in the shitter, but hello, we’ve had a major civil war on our soil that makes the Syrians look like they’re playing patty-cake. Hell, even the civil unrest in 1968 was far, far more widespread than today. We’re so politically stable it is incredible.
That’s not to say that our current political trajectory is sustainable. It’s not. But I’d expect to see the services become more withdrawn, rather than more domestically active.
——————————–
This is why I emailed you. I didn’t mean are we there yet, I meant what do you think the conditions would have to be?
And most importantly, how do we include Dave ‘siroting’ in the coup?
*still laughing at the picture. It’s soooo hilarious to see Texas vs. Manhattan.
Tip a tow truck driver?
What?
Only if he shows up in less than 5 minutes.
I guess it wasn’t enough that I just liked them, huh?
————————-
I’ve accidentally had their albums on circulation for 2 or 3 days now.
It’s possible that I was …what’s the phrase… proposing a very limited yet amazingly powerful, unbelievably small yet totally destructive, over the top hyperbole.
I think Cyn was just feeling horny.
Just the tip?
They have a free app that is just simply amazing. It gives you access to their inventory, and the location of every item in the store.
The pro version does accounting stuff.
I downloaded it last night and played with it today. Very cool.
Apps are going to change the way we live.
Maaaaaybe.
Correct. We are using apps on standard iPhones that will replace hundreds of employees.
*twirls mustache
I’ll check it out.
Ace is funny.
‘In lieu of speech, Obama will just replay the Seinfeld episode “This was supposed to be the Summer of George” and weep softly.’
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=IsWFXkQ8hWA&feature=youtu.be
It’s a shame that I don’t know what movie that is from because it’s got to be one of the best ever.
I should start authoring apps until I hit it big with something craptastic that 1000000 people buy for $0.99.
Yes, YOU should join this group too.
https://www.facebook.com/groups/457423567676813/
I can walk into any Home Depot in the country and find anything.
Mind boggled.
15 years ago Palm Pilots were cool.
Thank god the Cards are playing tonight. Would hate to flip through TFG’s speech for even a nano second!
Shit, six years ago the first iPhone was released.
I look around restaurants and bars sometimes and wonder, what the fuck did these people used to do?
I bought a palm pilot in 1998 during fellowship because…who the fuck knows. I had it for a month and realized my mistake. I sold it to one of the residents for a 20% loss. If I held on to it that would’ve been a 100% loss.
I hope Sports Illustrated gets their balls cut off for the article on Oklahoma State. It appears they didn’t do their research. Then used information from guys who were kicked out or druggies:
http://tinyurl.com/plnms9o
Be sure to read Andre Sexton who sounds like an outstanding person.
Now that I’m done with the AF, I will probably assimilate into the iCult. Wife and kids use iPhone, and the airline uses iPad.
Would rather go with the S4, but at this point compatibility trumps it.
Afternoon.
I think I find the Mama’s Boy video funny because the sound affect is from Looney Tunes.
I use whatever my husband hands me because I don’t give a crap, but the iPhone has been fantastic for my girls, myself and my husband (and we all use it for different stuff). I don’t belong to any cult, but I like the product and appreciate how it is always cutting edge.
effect…..screw you Hotspur.
“screw you Hotspur.”
LOL…..Hotspur’s a douche!
Today I built three (3) of these:
http://tinyurl.com/bm49fw2
With the demise of Proposition 8 — the gay marriage ban — gay inmates in California can get married to their same-sex partners, the Associated Press has reported.
Ass pirates hardest hit.
Man, it’s hot here today. 90 something.
Did Apple introduce the iPenis? It’s micro and comes in colors.
It occurred to me that six sigma almost destroyed Home Depot a few years ago.
The corporate weenies came in and decided that it was a retail store, and that skilled trades were not necessary to answer customer questions.
Oops.
Did Apple introduce the iPenis? It’s micro and comes in colors.
—————
Nice. This is the first comment that’s on topic.
Gawd. There are people running in this heat.
Stop whining.
How’s that stump coming?
A little old lady just swam 100 miles with jelly fish in her mouth.
“Nice. This is the first comment that’s on topic.”
Holy crap, you’re still clinging to the hope we have “topics?”
HAHAH….DOUCHE
My mom used to kill garden pests with a .22 when she was 8.
A little old lady just swam 100 miles with jelly fish in her mouth.
You would think she would get at least a bit hungry.
The pests are dead. The only thing left is a supernatural ninja-pig.
Supernatural ninja-pig?
Well, la ti da.
Tejas?
“DOUCHE”
I mean that in a loving way.
Shut up, kid. Eat your hot dog. I don’t give a shit if the bun IS covered in fuzzy green mold.
//effective child rearing techniques
Mare, I need you to drive my kids around.
Or start dinner. It’s all ready to go – etc – I just can cook it and drive kids at the same time.
Penis butter and jellyfish sandwiches.
I’d rather drive.
Do I need to swing by and get their go bags and water?
Drive whatever, I don’t care. Then I can sit here and drink wine.
They’ve got their go bags and water. THey’re good.
That way I can also listen to QOTSA in anticipation of Thursday’s concert. And practice my panty-throwing aim.
This is so true, Boehner is played like a jackass….again:
DrewM @DrewMTips 33m
Given the events of the last few days, kudos to @speakerboehner and @GOPLeader for their early support of Obama. Well played, as always!
And practice my panty-throwing aim.
Just smuggle in a crossbow.
crossbowfit
QOTSAbow
Black Widow strikes
http://www.foxnews.com/us/2013/09/10/newlywed-wife-charged-with-second-degree-murder-in-death-husband-in-montana/
Penislongbow
/on topic??
Carin can just hand over her panties to me. My aim is true.
Anyone heard how Anthony Peiner is doing?
And what about Elliot Swallowzer?
unintentional bow-ner
http://tinyurl.com/oah7mog
The bucks we got came in very handy on the honeymoon. Stopped at a hardware store on our way to Luling for some duct tape and some bubble wrap.
Kinky. (Can’t believe you people didn’t hit that low-hanger.)
Weiner is a total pain in the ass, but Lawrence O’Donnell should have his cumstraining teeth knocked down his fucking throat.
I should get up early tomorrow and do some archery practice. Small game (i.e. micro penis) season starts Sunday.
Wouldn’t that be crossshortbow to be on topic?
I still have my recurve bow – Bear Kodiak Hunter. It’s rated at 48lbs, but at my draw it works out to 52lbs.
I used to consistently be in a paper plate at 40 yards, before bowsights.
Haven’t shot in years. Couldn’t hit the broad side of a barn, or Michelle’s ass.
On topic
http://tinyurl.com/7jqx8xq
Careful. That thing could put an eye out.
Hotspur how much land do you have at your camp?
I think you need a potato cannon.
Couldn’t hit the broad side of a barn, or Michelle’s ass.
Gravitational attraction will help you with the latter.
Hotspur / Jimbro
stupid fingers
It would be a fun family project, and the kids would be learning science.
Best use of AquaNet hairspray ever.
Not too much at camp, just under an acre. At home it’s just under 10 acres and the volunteer fire department is about a mile away for any mishaps. I’ll bring it up for discussion with the fam!
Crosspantythrowing
Asspotatocannon
http://www.instructables.com/id/The-Original-Potato-Cannon/
http://tinyurl.com/nh2ystk
For the ladies and MJ:
http://tinyurl.com/pf9evz8
Shoot the vicar.
Mare, have you ever been a blond?
Potato cannons are awesome.
And you can trim trees with it. This really is a no brainer.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=sdFK5eVmZ3o
Mare! (this may be old) http://i.imgur.com/fa8g7cH.gif
I managed to get most of my practice shots in a 2″ circle at 30yd, but I I’ve got some work to do if I want to consistently hit the center. Mostly trigger control and teaching myself not to anticipate recoil. The stock on my shoulder makes my muscles think I’m about to shoot a 12ga.
I was born a towhead and was blond until I had children. Got a lot darker after that.
Yeah, the blond jokes are hilarious, my daughter who is naturally blond thinks they are particularly funny coming from dumb asses (she is the kid that got a 5 on her AP CHEM, 5 on AP CALC and a 3 on her AP SPANISH. Not bad for a non native speaker).
Scott, old but a classic!
My question had nothing to do with “blond jokes”.
Vicar in a tutu. It’s not frightening.
Oh, then never mind.
hahahahaha
I wish I’d had an actual AP chem/calc course. I had to take an independent study and then beg for the exams.
Why did you ask, Hotspur?
Mare, I’m married to a blond. I was just curious if you color your hair sometimes. No biggee.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ZKLnhuzh9uY&feature=youtu.be#aid=P9vyhdB1uEw
He just wants to live his life that way.
Apropos of nothing, where’s Sean?
Hotspur, I have it foiled.
Otherwise I look like this:
http://tinyurl.com/5sd8xor
I don’t know what foiled is, but it would be hard to improve on that.
hahahaha….I’m still laughing at my little outburst.
Foiled is what women do until they come to terms with the fact it’s not hiding the gray and they need to “color” (dye) their hair.
Only does pieces of hair.
I decided to grow out my hair this past year. My daughter accused me of a comb over. I’ll admit my hair recedes on the sides, but I definitely don’t “comb over.”
At the end of the day HotBride stopped in the office. When she left she walked over and kissed me on the top of the head, and said “Don’t get up, I’ll just kiss your comb over.”
Paybacks!
So, I should foil my hair? I think it’s too late to be honest.
A girl at work does that. It’s brown, with random streaks of blond, red and pink. It screams “I am an idiot.”
She was in charge of Diversity Day.
Mare, is it like highlights?
I’m too lazy and cheap to do that.
I’m ready for my kids to get off the soccer field .
Mare, go get Carin’s kids. She’s blotto.
The streetlights have come on. It’s time to go home,
I am completely sober hotspur.
*cries
Paybacks indeed!
I don’t recognize that ol’ lady in the mirror. DAMN YOU TIME!!
Yes, it is Roamy, but I don’t like to plan crap so I lucked out and found someone at Fantastic Sam’s. I’m low maintenance, really. Fantastic Sam’s is a poor person’s Super Cuts. I don’t go to “Salons” although maybe I should.
“ol’ lady”
experienced
Would it be wrong of me to drag my kids off the field? I wanna go home,
It is now DARk out . Can the kids please go home now?
Pick a fight with another mom.
Did anybody catch anybody else returning to the scene of the crime today?
It’s interesting to me because so many of my friends have had their “eyes done” boob jobs, tummy tucks, face lifts, brow lifts, etc.. Lord, the stories I could tell you about being their nurse….sealed the deal I’ll never do it. Pulling out a foot long drain from a tummy tuck…(pretty proud I didn’t puke).
I joke about being old but don’t dislike my face, not that it’s good but I’ve never thought about it much or obsessed about my looks. Like one of my favorite characters, Miss Read said, “At this point, I just want to look clean.”
Good idea, Scott. You’re our idea man,
Natural looks better than fake.
I could snatch my kid off of the field and no one would see its so dark.
Dana Perino is going to be a perfect example.
Ptl, I think they’re done.
You can’t fake an illness because they will just tell you to run it off.
At this point, I’d just like to keep my shorts clean.
Cdr. Sal uses an old Geo Orwell essay:
“Shooting An Elephant” to illustrate how
the JEF found himself in this situation.
http://cdrsalamander.blogspot.com/2013/09/obama-hollow-imperialist.html
Just grow your hair longer Hotspur, you can comb over that too.
That doesn’t need combing over.
“Natural looks better than fake.”
I agree.
You have to be super wealthy to get the really good stuff done. Christy Brinkley, Madonna, Cindy Crawford, Demi Moore. I’ve seen the “right after the procedure is done” pictures and you can absolutely tell they’ve had stuff done, but now it looks very natural.
Now. In 10/20 years they can join a freak show.
Kerry looks natural – like someone took the Photoshop Blur Tool to his wrinkly mug.
I go for the high and tight haircut with a #1 blade on the sides
http://tinyurl.com/plbafoe
I was at work a couple weeks ago helping one of my coworkers out in her department. Time passes and before you know it we’re kidding around and ribbing each other and laughing like old pals. She asked me how old I am, I told her, then asked her (we are three years apart).
We instantly, reflexively did a visual run-over of each other. It was quick and silent, but it cracked us up again. I guess women just naturally compare themselves to each other. Just so happens in this case we felt comfortable enough to go ahead and openly give the other one the run-down when we found out we were close in age. So weird. Heh.
She looks older than me.
I
Isn’t that story supposed to end with the two of you kissing?
Crosspantythrowing
—
Asspotatocannon
I saw Crosspantythrowing open for Asspotatocannon at Lollapalooza in 1997.
Douche
I made an editorial decision to leave that out, Sean.
“She looks older than me.”
HA! Well done.
Douche indeed.
President Kickass is about to speak!
You know how much I don’t want to watch President “Whose line is it anyway?” I’m watching world cup soccer qualifying.
Which, to be honest, I wanted to watch anyway.
Managed to dodge the bald thing and gray on my head thing (it’s all over my stach and beard now, if I grew a beard) up to 54.
Hanging on. Stay tuned for updates.
*breaks laura’s blue pencil*
My father died at age 93 with a thick, full head of hair. Only started getting noticeably grey at around 70.
You know how much I don’t want to watch President “Whose line is it anyway?”
Enough to yank another catheter stuffed in someone’s abdominal cavity?
You know how much I don’t want to watch President “Whose line is it anyway?”
Enough to listen to the latest album by Asspotatocannon?
It’s Hotspur’s stupid red pencil that pisses everyone off.
Enough to yank another catheter stuffed in someone’s abdominal cavity?
Tough call, but I’ll go with the foot long stomach drain.
You know how much I don’t want to watch President “Whose line is it anyway?”
Enough to discuss wiserbud’s Cover Song Theory?
GOAL!!!!!!!
What the hell? Are all the H2ers watching President “VALERIE, what do I do now?”
Mare watching the speech:
http://tinyurl.com/ogkkffa
Nailed it, xbradtc.
My hairline was on the back of my head by the time I was 26. Fortunately, I appear to be holding steady at 3 gray beard hairs.
There is a secretary at work who is a year younger than me. Her hair looks great in natural light, but under the fluorescents, it is green.
back from the TPP / Fuck OblahblahCare rally…. kinda low turn out.
Jenny Beth was lookin’ pretty good in her boots tho….
GOAL!!!!!!
Jam2, it’s important you made an appearance. You’re trying. That’s good.
I haven’t laughed that hard or cursed the TV so unabashedly in a long time. That speech was AWESOME! Bwahahahahahaha!
I would so love to be in the backroom office with Putin and Assad right now. They have got to be peeing laughing.
Not in the sense that “Obama is trying, leave him alone.” You’re trying to get people fired up.
TFG actually did one of those semi-wincing blinks at the end of her speech when she said, “…and God bless America.”
Pants. On. Fire.
It was quite the tell.
“Obama is trying, leave him alone.”
Heh heh
Ha Ha Ha
BAAAAHAHAHAHAHAHA!
Soooo…….the JEF is asking us to get outraged over a coupla hundred Syrian babies lying dead or dying on a hospital floor because somebody deliberately killed them?
The irony.
>>>Obama is trying,
Yes. Yes he is. Very much so…
Burn-y irony.
http://tinyurl.com/c4mrdb4
>>>http://tinyurl.com/c4mrdb4
But do they use chemical weapons?
No, they do not.
So….. Doesn’t count.
MSDNC is having to work reeeeally hard to make this fly.
Aaaannnddd they’re moving onto another topic. Dang.
Has Weiner pulled out yet?
Andi Sullivan is on CNN.
This is almost more fun than a SOTU address.
>>Has Weiner pulled out yet?
Cyn! What am I going to do Saturday night??!? I am so conflicted!
I have very little hair, a paunch and my beard is white. I’m totally fucking AWESOME!
Obama is leading from behind PUTIN.
>>Cyn! What am I going to do Saturday night??!? I am so conflicted!
I know!!1!
**hugs MCPO, sneaks a pinch on the hiney**
If only Frank Kush was alive. He’d know what to do.
http://cdn.bleacherreport.net/images_root/slides/photos/000/482/354/YP_Lisa-ASU__BOO0362_display_image.jpg?1288743882
Hey Brew, did you ever do baseball stuff and know Roy Coppinger?
Oh wait. He is still alive and he said, “F**k those stinkin’ Badgers!”
I have heard of him Cyn. Just googled to make sure and saw the obit. Sad.
He was a neat man; it was a pleasure to have known him.
Uh oh… polls showing the Weiner is way down now.
BTW, I don’t get around these parts much because life has been keeping me busy but that doesn’t mean I love youse guys any less. Nighty nite hotsausagettes and hotsausages!!
LY2, Brew, but get your ass here more often.
I started getting gray hair at 19. Getting pretty thin (read non-existent) on top too.
Gray? Pfffft. Platinum is the new black.
Dad had a head full of thick wirey black hair until he hit 50, and then almost overnight it turned white. But it was thick and full until he passed 30 years later.
My hair is nothing like his except “present”
Drive by:
Chrispy says I should put this here.
http://www.youtube.com/embed/rv7dGhj5UlA
My beard was red/brown until I had to lose it in ’91 to work DoD at Ft. Lewis.
Two years later, when the contract ended and I let it grow out, it was white!
Top of the head is still dark, except for the bare-spot on the part.
Mare?
That video Anita just dropped was very cool!
We don’t get commercials like that here.
Would not play well for LIVs.
So how did Barky’s speech? Did he brag how he led Putin and Syria from the brink?
No, it was platitudes and the horrors of chemical weapons (like 130MM field guns aren’t horrible on kids too). He just needed to say something for less than 15 minutes and duck.
It really wasn’t a bad speech, just a meaningless speech.
I managed to make it through the evening without watching Barky’s stutter….er…. speech.
Niece/Nephew update-Both are still alive. Barely.
I turn 50 tomorrow. I’m older than Dan, but people that know both of us, always ask. With a little weight, I look younger. Dan tried to get associates to embarrass me today by singing Happy Birthday. I saw the text from the manager that I’m “Crafty.” I didn’t even realize that they were trying to “get” me.
XB, have you posted doggie pics that I’ve missed? I saw you on a horse, and pics of the kids…did I miss doggie pics?
Oso, I haven’t posted doggie pics. I took some recently, and will FB them soon.
Pretty much as soon as I let the dogs back inside.
you’re a good non-murderin uncle xb.
Happy b-day Oso. I liked 50
Thanks, DiT. XB, you are a good guy. I find you funneh more than once a month, too!
Oso, no one wanted to take a pic of Stella and I taking a nap together today. She’s an ugly dog, but just right for napping.
It’s not really a question of murderin’, more “I turned my back for a second, and they murdered each other/set fire to the house/played in traffic.
I thought she was cute! Snuggle dog!
I still need a pic with me and the rabbit and the chickens.
The chicken peeps are probably asleep by now! Bunneh!!!!
The chickens are most debbinibly asleep. I just checked on them. The bunneh is still awake, but I need someone to take the pic, so it may be a day or two.
There’s an outside chance there will be a pic of me with a goat, as well.
Get a hammer for the goat pic!
There’s an outside chance there will be a pic of me with a goat, as well.
Let’s leave Islam out of this.
Hahahhahah. NO! Do I look Filippino to you?
Can you make lumpia?
No, but I know a great little place that makes awesome lumpia.
Mmmmm…lumpia.
At dad’s last duty station, mom used to host a lot of semi-sorta-official cocktail and dinner parties at the house. Fairly often, they’d be catered by the Chief’s Club, which meant a menu of chicken wings, dinner rolls, and lumpia. Lots and lots of spectacularly good lumpia. Man, I loved those parties.
Happy Birthday, CO Alex and Cathy’s Mom. (Not quite EC time)
From the TMI file: I’m 50. Why do I still get the TOM pimple? Ridiculous.
Belly Button Micro Penis vs. Lemon Bear Dick Punch
A new exclusive movie in production for SyFy
For some reason, I see: Belly Button Micro Penis, but I see Substitutiary Locomotion.
Oops. I hear. Good Bourbon.
Wanna tell about my baby
Lord, you know she comes around
About five feet four
From her derp to the ground
Anyone else going around calling people that oppose TFG rayciss? I just got Revvy on FB tag! Booyah!
My favorite Marine deployed. His wife is at Pendleton with a 2 yr old and a 1 month old. Things just got interesting on FB.
Feliz cumpleanos, Osita!!
50s are the new 20s, mi hija
Good morning all!
Happy Birthday Oso. The Big 5-0.
Happy Birthday, Oso limon!!!!!!
Wakey wakey
Morning, children.
Crackfat again this morning. 8:30.
Swimming and running today.
I’m going to try to run before work but I dunno. We’ve had a pretty awesome heat wave going. TOmorrow it’s supposed to cool way down, so I may do something else today after crackfat.
My regular gym got all new equipment. Which is kinda fun.
Squats, presses, deadlifts, and chin-ups today.
No crack.
HHD, in case you are lingering here.