Jim

Good morning! The old poat was fantastic but full of the inane ramblings of crazy people, so I thought I’d get the weekend kicked off with some fresh content.

Saturday mornings are spent doing chores and bonding with offspring in the Pupster Household. We start with a trust exercise and life lesson rolled into one.

Today we will most likely wash cars and do yard work. What is on your agenda today?

337 Comments

  1. This is my 50th poat at H2 Boogaloo.

    I need to get my shit together.

  2. Au Contraire, mon pupster.

    Your feces is consolidated.

  3. Hoping for a slow shift today.

    After today only 3 shifts left!

  4. Wakey wakey. Crim with my daughter.

  5. John Wayne marathon on AMC today. Not sure what movies they’re showing, but does it really matter?

  6. Run fast Car in. The young un will fade after mile 7.

  7. Hey Phat…how did you get started with your career as a pilot? What did you do prior to joining the Air Force?

  8. http://tinyurl.com/lroh7pf

  9. Pups,

    I went to the Air Force Academy after high school. After graduating as a 2nd Lt they sent me to flight school.

    The rest of my career is looked upon as a grave error by the USAF.

    Funny thing is that I never wanted to be a pilot as a kid. I went to the Academy because it was free and I wanted to be an aero engineeer. While I was there I kiinda got interested and the year I graduated they really needed pilots. If you were medically qualified, you were expected to go. Worked out pretty well.

  10. All of pupsters links are blocked by the IT fascists. Probably for the best.

  11. bouncebreak dot com must trip some sort of blocking protocol. Huh.

    Thanks for the info, Phat. Ohio State has a pilot training program, I just wondered how it happened for you. I talked to boy2 about it as a career choice, but he didn’t seem interested. Maybe I should get him a drone to fly around.

  12. Morning children.

  13. phat
    Long as its not back to back “The Angel and the Badman” it’s his only PC movie and they play it to death

  14. Waitress, coffee please!

  15. >> http://bouncebreak.com/gif/bounce/fox-news-bounce.gif

    and my co-anchor Tits McGhee

  16. We have The Shootist, Searchers, Sons of Katie Elder and El Dorado.

    Solid choices.

  17. and I’m at work. dammit

  18. Man, this poat is dead. Where’s the white wimmen at?

  19. Carin’s running.
    Too early for Cyn and Mare.
    PJM is hungover.
    Oso is scooping doggy poop.

    Did I leave anyone out?

  20. Oh, how could I forget Laura? She’s tending her garden.

  21. Or somethin’.

  22. Would someone mind coming in and doing this estimate for me?

  23. Me. I have company. Mini-me had a friend sleep over last night. It is very odd for me, hearing 12-year-old girls discuss who is hot in The Avengers.

  24. I mean, seriously, it’s a beautiful day, and here I am working on some guy’s enclosed swimming pool addition.

    We build shit that people don’t need.

  25. Oh, sorry, Roamie.

    Thanks for rescuing this sausagefest.

  26. I figure I should probably wait to click links until after the girls leave.

  27. Sausagefest or not the sausage is not making itself.
    or sumthin’

  28. When girls hit puberty, the shit gets real for parents

  29. The conversation in the car yesterday consisted of gossip about another girl who is “boy-crazy” (their words). I was torn between wanting to know what they thought and telling them not to gossip.

  30. Good call by you, Romie.

    Standing in line at the DMV. We are not moving.

  31. These contests are simply awesome.

    http://www.thesmokinggun.com/time-waster/match-arrestee-item-they-allegedly-stole-34

  32. I get up early, I just wait until I can stomach it here. Coffee!!

    This post made me LOL.

    I liked the “pupster household” and “will most” links.

  33. Survived. Daughter did great. We walked through two water stations but otherwise she made the whole ten.

  34. Looks like I’m on the hook for taxi duty. Y’all have a good day.

  35. “When girls hit puberty, the shit gets real for parents”

    Nawwww…Not always. My two were fun and drama free. They were really busy with sports, and homework and fun stuff my husband cooked up (not meth).

    Roamy, I didn’t allow my girls to say negative things about people but I did encourage them in the car/wherever to tell me what the scoop was for that day. There is a difference and I’m glad they told me LOTS of stuff.

    Pretty enlightening.

  36. That’s a great thing for a parent and a kid to do together. Mutual suffering/challenge is bonding.

  37. I like pupster’s go-cart deal. How can a kid be snotty and pissy when they are having fun fixing something that will be even more fun when it’s done?

  38. I rarely work on weekends, but I have 2 new client meetings today. Business is the booming right now! I got here a little early and wandered on here to see what all the cool kids do on Saturdays… and now I know.

  39. Yeah, GMLand, keep kicking butt!

  40. Weekends are time to settle down with a good mystery story.

  41. Coupla Somalis just stumbled in, high as kites. Rent a cop is messing with them, “You sure your OK? You guys all have real bad allergies? What’s the name of that cologne, campfire?”

  42. Any of you cool kids done a Cancun or Caribbean vacay lately? Trying to plan something fun for the family before I have to go back to my airline job.

  43. “Sleepy?! It’s 1100, the days half over! Did you guys have a good breakfast? Something baked?”

  44. Phat:

    Belize – Hamasi Resort

    HEAVEN

  45. I wore my SCOAMF shirt for the Crim. LOL

    OH, and some black dude was running (very slowly, in basketball shoes) wearing a hoodie and saying “Remember Travon” to the (black) people on the sidelines. He had also hand-written his little message on the hoodie.

    I lucky passed him and go away rather quickly, because I was in no mood for that.

  46. Thanks Hotspur!

    Will look it up when it slows down a bit.

  47. Maybe this is why Cyn has trouble sleeping. She’s a two-sleep person.

    http://slumberwise.com/science/your-ancestors-didnt-sleep-like-you/

  48. Oops, make that Hamanasi Resort. Sorry.

  49. It’s so pathetic to me that THE President of the United States would continually piss and moan about a private citizen, Rush Limbaugh. What the hell?

  50. There is an intersection near my house on a 4 lane road that pisses me off every day.

    I remember a time when two lines of opposing traffic would turn to travel in the same direction, at the same time, by turning into the closest travel lane. (One line would turn into the lane closest to the yellow line, opposing traffic would turn into the lane closest to the curb)

    Nobody does that anymore.

    At this particular intersection its common for only one car to turn for every cycle of the traffic light because people wait for all the opposing traffic to turn first.

    It’s also common to hear me screaming at the top of my lungs…..

    THERE ARE TWO FUCKING LANES!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

  51. THE President of the United States would continually piss and moan about a private citizen, Rush Limbaugh

    He’s just jealous of a guy who can put more than three words together without a TelePrompTer. Plus, Limbaugh isn’t half-black.

  52. I’ll tell you what pisses me off. Two lane street I drive on every day has a bike lane on both sides. If someone is turning left some fucking Prius drive (and we have thousands of them) won’t go around on the right because it’s the fucking “bike lane.” Oooohhh… Like the bike lane is fucking sacred or something.

    I honk and scream.

  53. You know who was really stunning? Kay Francis. First saw her in the Marx Brothers’ “Cocoanuts.”


  54. George, you’re old and dead. We see in technicolor now.

  55. I honk and scream.

    I do that, even when I’m not in my car.

  56. I’m so old and dead I see in daguerreotype.

  57. I’m sure this is racist somehow, but I can’t say precisely why. Maybe only if non-whites shop there.

  58. George
    You scared the crap out if me
    I thought you meant Margaret Dumont

  59. I thought you meant Margaret Dumont

    Oh no. However she was a fine foil to their humor, and would have made a top-notch linebacker.

  60. That newfangled daguerreotype stuff will never catch on

    Get off my lawn, bitches

  61. Now Linda Ronstadt, who was one hot piece of ass (according to many accounts) has Parkinson’s

    Now where did I park the car?

  62. Parkinson’s? Too bad it couldn’t have been Jerry Brown instead.

  63. I’ve got a title, plates, registration, and stickers for the go cart. I’m fucking exhausted.

  64. I suspect this item will be a favorite when Secret Santa time arrives.

    http://www.firebox.com/product/6086/UNT-Mug

  65. Good day, genetic anomalies.

  66. We have discovered what FLOTUS eats in private.

    http://is.gd/csHVfY

  67. My kids joke that on my tombstone they are going to have engraved:

    “Why am I in this lane!!”

  68. I have come to love driving with the boys in the car. We talk about so many things together. Sometimes they learn new words and about the various types of people in this world. We have a good laugh.

  69. Speaking of Secret Santa, I’ll be putting up a poat on this soon! Squeeee!

  70. Ditto here, Cyn. Driving with the kids was always fun. They learned the word “JACKASS!” at a fairly early age.

    Our road trip this summer was still just as fun.

  71. It’s nice that you and the kids can laugh and learn together and enjoy life’s rich tapestry.

  72. Yeah…. But these new words your boys are learning, their teachers aren’t gonna like them using them in class.

  73. On my tombstone will be:

    “GO AROUND, FUCKSTICK!!!!”

  74. “Jackass” is a staple, but often we try to make up new ‘cleaner’ words. Sometimes I slip and release a really good one and I ask if they heard that; trained well, almost in unison, they say, “Hear what, Mom?”

    I miss the longer drives to their old school. They’re getting to be such fun now at 12 & 15.

  75. Cyn, you are correct!

    I actually say, “JASSAX!!!

  76. Carin, my friend Christy ran in the CRIM. Did you see her?

  77. “GO AROUND, FUCKSTICK!!!!”

    HAHAH

  78. Yeah…. But these new words your boys are learning, their teachers aren’t gonna like them using them in class.

    So true. Googleman said some kind of comment the other day, very Hostagesque, and after laughing my ass off, I reminded him that that stays In The Family!11! He already knew this.

  79. Cyn, I’m very envious.

    I’m happy you’re enjoying it.

  80. Sean, that’s funny. I saw one of the tapestry deals about Star Wars. Where did you find that one?

  81. Buying furniture gives me a headache. Had to get a bacon cheeseburger for lunch to ease my pain.

  82. I just did an image search for “funny tapestry,” mare. This is one of my favorites:

  83. I am enjoying it very much, Mare. And I already know I’m going to miss that when they start driving. Too soon, dammit!

    Maybe a bacon cheese burger will console me too.

  84. Are hover rounds considered furniture now, M-C3PO?

  85. “Maybe a bacon cheese burger will console me too.”

    Yes, yes it will. And some chocolate chunk cookies.

  86. HA! I like those Sean.

    I have spent some time looking at the real Bayeux Tapestry. Really cool.

  87. Hey Cyn, I found a model for a future BBF, you want me to take this week or have you got it?

  88. Chief, at your age and stage of the game seems like you’d have all of the furniture you’ll need, unless you’re shopping for twin beds.

  89. Mr. TiFW swore the first time he drove DD#1 and a few of her junior-high-aged friends someplace that he lost 10 IQ points on the drive over :P

    We miss those days, too – but the girls are lots of fun to hang out with now that they’re adults; turns out Mom and Dad aren’t the idiots they were once rumored to be…..

  90. http://tinyurl.com/k77ckt9

  91. These are great.

    Finish her! http://imgur.com/gallery/X4NgF

  92. I haven’t found anything yet Pups, so if you want it, it’s yours.

  93. Hahahah!

    Hotspur? http://imgur.com/gallery/A9fysfT

  94. Got it.

  95. I have a tapestry for Sean. No one else look.

  96. http://tinyurl.com/kujw4t2

  97. I have a tapestry for Sean. No one else look.

    http://i.imgur.com/z1MTaFq.jpg

    Fair maidens, be’st thou vigilant of his strands of iniquity!

  98. HA!

  99. Put. Thy coffee. Down.

  100. We hath added a little something to this month’s sales contest.

  101. It’s dead Jim.

  102. It’s dead, Jim.

    *inserts comma*

  103. Hey, for all we know, the post’s name is “Jim”, in which case TGSG would be correct….. :P

  104. Flight booked for the Shindig at Michael’s place.
    I better see a lot of you sonsabitchez there, else I am not going to be happy.
    You won’t like me when I am not happy.

  105. Yeah, but if we’re not there, we won’t suffer your ire.

  106. *winks at Teresa*

  107. Pepe, I will come to your ranch, take one of your prized knives and poke a hole in your car tire. I will also scare your horse by speaking Indian to him. Don’t mess with me.

  108. Kemosabe.

  109. Hooray! I finally get to meet Tushar IRL!!!!!!

    http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=UNTsbZCj7H4&feature=player_detailpage

  110. Hotspur, a question for you: I am not the handiest person, but I am not completely useless. Do you think I can learn to do basic electrical work by reading some book like this:

    http://www.amazon.com/Black-Decker-Complete-Guide-Wiring/dp/1589236017/ref=sr_1_1?s=books&ie=UTF8&qid=1377380246&sr=1-1&keywords=home+electrical+wiring

  111. Absolutely. Electrical is easy, and that book should explain it all.

    Next think you know you’ll be installing three way switches.

  112. *looks around to make sure Hotbride isn’t looking – winks back at Hotspur*

  113. Teresa, be prepared to be disappointed. Exotic people are not all they are cracked up to be.

  114. Hotspur,
    I have lately been caught with the home improvement bug. I want to install one if those fancy electric toilet seats that spray your delicates with hot water and dry your jewels with a gentle breeze. That will need some electrical and plumbing work.

  115. We just installed one of those. Pay attention to the part on GFCIs in your book. That’s the type of outlet you’ll need.

  116. Hey, they post *IS* named Jim!

  117. Dammit, Jim, I’m a doctor, not an electrician!

    /mccoy

  118. you’ll be installing three way switches.

    *wakes up*

    Did someone say “three way?”

  119. Lie back down, George. The only three way in your future involves worms and centipedes.

  120. Pupster’s got some learnin’ left to do:

    http://is.gd/PhAIH0

  121. Or ghouls and zombies.

  122. Did someone say “three way?”

    http://tinyurl.com/mplzlaj

  123. The only three way in your future involves worms and centipedes.

    Ya takes what ya can gets.

  124. Figures that the only other person here is dead.

  125. Busted.

  126. Garden-Blog:

    Asshole lone elk wandered through the garden last night. He ravaged the sweet-peppers, knocked-over a couple tomatoes that were about 4′ tall, then went through the beans to the pumpkin (that we did not plant). The pumpkins are bigger than 2′ in diameter, so he couldn’t get a bite on them. He was only able to scrape patches of skin off.
    He’s lucky I didn’t see him or, instead of the moose-burgers that we’re eating today, it might have been elk. I’d probably have to use the bucket on the Kubota to hoist his hind-legs to gut & bleed him. Then, while he was cooling, go down to Lowes to buy a freezer…
    At-least he didn’t get the corn. It’s coming ripe just now and we’re probably going to be canning Monday.

    Anita swears she planted Patty-Pan squash back there. We can’t find any of those, but there are some big pumpkins! She planted pumpkins at the childrens-garden at the church. Perhaps a seed stuck to her shoe and ‘got off’ in our garden.

    /Garden-Blog

  127. Tusher
    Before you go out and buy that home electrician book, invest in rubber boots and update your will

  128. I miss Patty-Pan.

    Wait, what?

  129. HA! Pups, my cat does that when I walk into a room, it always makes me LOL. I say to my cat, “What the hell, you KNOW me.”

  130. Anita is by far the most accomplished person on this blog.

  131. Phew. Worked late today. Whose turn is it to massage my hump?

    *Throws a bottle of Armorall Leather Polish into center of blog, watches Hostages scatter*

    cowards

  132. Douchebag two doors down is popping fireworks. Dog is scared out of his skin.

    This is bullshit. If I wanted this kind of crappy neighbors, I’d be living near Dad.

  133. My kid posts on that Deviant Art site
    This worries me

  134. *Throws a bottle of Armorall Leather Polish into center of blog, watches Hostages scatter*

    cowards

    *grabs belt sander*

    I’ve got this.

  135. TexasJew,

    Deviant Art is mostly for otaku who post poorly drawn catgirls. Worry when she starts posting to SuicideGirls.com

  136. We had the freaks at the park yesterday and some butthead was setting off fireworks in the arroyo…thanks asshole. MaryAnn gets out of her Cone for 15 minutes and you ruin her trip to the park.

  137. Setting off firecrackers in an arroyo is a great way to burn down your neighborhood

  138. Did anybody advise anybody else to seek medical attention for a certain condition lasting more than four hours today?

  139. Our girl Ruby was so scared of fireworks- trembling like a paint shaker from head to toe- that on July4th nights when the neighbors were having their parties we used to shut up the whole house and put on loud country/ bluegrass music. It calmed her. We speculate that it was the music of her puppyhood, based on who we adopted her from.

    Dorkus here just pants loudly and crushes himself to me. Occasionally after a big boom he has to get up, walk three feet away, then crawl back. Poor Dorkus.

  140. Gingy was OK with thunder, hot air balloons, gunshots, and fireworks. Then we got MaryAnn. Now, I have two freaks that need to be comforted. We no longer go out on July 4th or New Year’s. When we are at work, we close everything up and play Country Music. I’m sure our neighbors love us.

  141. How many nicknames does Bubba have?

  142. Moses hates fireworks. Fortunately most of the asshole kids in my hood have moved on.

  143. oso
    Only one of my two idiot dogs barks a lot
    But he barks all night outside at nothing in particular

  144. My neighborhood is mainly wealthy Mexicans from Chihuahua and retired colonels
    It’s fairly quiet except for my loud idiot dog

  145. Yankee, Bubba, Boo-boo, Boo-boo bear, Dorkus, My Idiot (spousal variant: ‘Your Idiot’).

    Those are all the public ones. I think. We probably had more a few years ago.

  146. He answers to all of them except the Idiot Series.

    OH. ‘Doodles.’ That’s another one. I forgot. Derived from ‘Yankee Doodle.’

  147. My dogs have lots of nicknames, too. They know which is which. TJ, my girls cower from loud noises and become velcro and super glue. MaryAnn likes to get on the back of the couch and bark. We know the difference between people walking by on the street bark, people getting too close to the condo bark, and “Hey Guys, let me see how many neighborhood dogs I can get to bark back” bark. Did I mention my neighbors may h8 us?

  148. Doodles!!! I’ve never met Bubba, but I love him!

  149. oso
    Im waiting for one of my nice friendly neighbors to call their cousin in the Sinaloa Cartel to come up here and finish off my crazy dog with an Uzi

  150. Dorkus loves you too. He is weak for all ladies, and if they make high-pitched babytalk at him he gets ridiculously sweet on them. It’s a disgusting show, frankly.

    That’s just ladies. Most men however can just walk on by, as far as he’s concerned. Keep steppin’ cowpoke. Tarry not. You are being watched, and judged. Unfairly.

  151. >> I’ve never met Bubba, but I love him!

    I’ve met him.

    I don’t love him.

  152. SQUEEEE!!!! Most dogs adore Dan. I would love to meet Bubba! TJ, what kind of barky barkersens’ do you have?

  153. Which will deter more killers?

    A sign that says, GUN FREE ZONE or this:

    http://tinyurl.com/kxb68rx

  154. Dorkus doesn’t bite me anymore, only took about 10 years.

  155. A friend of ours, down at Kapowsin Field (used to be the skydiving airport) had a beautiful Collie. I was down there in the maint hanger one rainy day, doing maint on one of the Caravans, when it started to thunder/lightning. I looked out into the rain and that Collie was running around, scared shitless.
    I squatted down and called him. He ran into my arms so hard, he about knocked my on my bony ass. He tried to burrow inside me to hide. He was shaking so hard I thought he might have a heart attack. I just kind of wrapped him up and held him until it stopped. He was terrified of the thunder.

  156. http://tinyurl.com/luxyc8x

  157. ChrisP, Thunder Shirts didn’t work on my freaks. Holding them tight does. “Experts” say not to snuggle them or it reenforces the behavior. I can’t “Not” snuggle them. Sorry for laughing at Scott being bitten by Dorkus. Tetanus booster?

  158. Bubba occasionally barks for some other social reasons, but he is not one to bark in an aggressive or defensive posture. He is a confident dog and if he thinks you are up to no good he will not warn you or try to gauge your determination by barking at you.

    He will just watch you, make his own decision to bite you, and do it. No warning. In this regard he is a creepy asshole. Fortunately this has not happened very much.

  159. Dorkus doesn’t carry tetanus.

  160. We watch for the stripe along the back. Gingy loves Big Dogs! Her best buddy when she was a puppy was a GSD. MaryAnn is afraid of her own shadow. We have to be vigilant around kids. My dogs are socialized with dogs, afraid of kids.

  161. Rabies? Does Bubba at least carry rabies?

  162. He never bit me.

    But he thought about it, first meeting.

    I’ve never met a dog who eschewed friendliness before. He was all like “fuck you jack, you’re just another guy and if you cross me I will eat your face off”.

    So it was like that. Even the last time I saw him it was like “you ain’t a threat so pet me some but I don’t care”.

    I’m actually glad he was Laura’s dog in the store. He was very very protective of her.

  163. Scott, Dan got bit by a dog at the golf course one Christmas. The ER docs gave him several shots. Golf Course dog bit one golfer too many and got maced. Dan still wears dog bite jeans around the condo because jeans are comfortable even with hole in leg.

  164. I’m glad Bubba was in the store with Lauraw too. Just don’t sit on his couch spot.

  165. In retrospect he was a lot like a giant cat.

  166. Spoiler alert.

    http://tinyurl.com/mqddxuw

  167. He only gave me two serious bites, one left facial scars. That was early on.

    All the later bites were warning nips.

    We are OK now, but I bet I could make him bite my face without trying hard.

  168. We have 2 dogs. One is a Border Collie/Kelpie cross that terrorizes all the animals. She’ll grab a bull by the tail, but is horribly afraid of loud noises: thunder, shooting, etc. The other, Spike, is a pitbull cross that is afraid of everything BUT loud noises. Honestly, you go to pet him and he cringes like we beat him. When he yawns he looks just like Stitch, Oso. Neither will bark when someone drives up, but give ’em an owl in a tee at 3:00 AM and they’re all over it. For hours.

  169. We are OK now, but I bet I could make him bite my face without trying hard>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>

    Wait, are we talking Bubba, or Laura’s twin?

  170. I’ve met so many dogs over the years, in and out of peoples houses, and dogs have always taken to me.

    So far. Knock on wood.

  171. OMG! Do you Cesar Milan him?

  172. This poat was called something else earlier today before I left for my Payson turn-around trip. I’m not losing it. Right?

  173. Pepe, we called Gingy “Stitch” as a puppy!

  174. FromThe moon-rise here Thursday night was strange. It was almost red, shining through the smoke of the Eastern-Washington wildfires.

    This morning, with the overcast, the light was very flat. It puzzled the birds with respect to our 6’x6′ east windows, as they could not see them. A very loud “THUMP” was heard. We went out and saw a broke-necked Goldfinch.
    Well, I’ll go pick him up when I go out to water the potted plants.
    We sat back down. 15 minutes later, THUMP, in the other big window. Another Goldfinch. When I went to pick them up, the mate of the first was standing 8″ away from him, waiting for him to get up.
    It broke my heart.

  175. This poat was called something else earlier today before I left for my Payson turn-around trip. I’m not losing it. Right?

    This poat has always been Jim. It will always be Jim. We are all Jim. Jim is love. Be one with us, Cyn. Be one with the poat. Be one with… Jim.

  176. What are you talking ’bout Cyn? You remember to take your meds?



  177. Oooooooo yeeeeeeaaah.

  178. Be one with… Jim.

    Mmmmmm. Jim…. James T. Kirk…
    *looks off dreamily and breaks into the faintest of smiles*

  179. He came from a messed up home Oso. He had demons.

  180. When I went to pick them up, the mate of the first was standing 8″ away for him, waiting for him to get up.
    It broke my heart.

    Awww, that’s sad. We had two big baby birds on the ground below our massive tree in the back yard this past week. I think the daddy bird booted them out. Momma bird was squawking her head off for two days.

  181. Riley barks his head off at anybody who’s not a member of our immediate family, but he doesn’t bite. We did a poor job of socializing him as a puppeh.

  182. Poor Bubba. I like dogs more than people. (((Hugs Bubba)))

  183. Alex is evil.

    I like that in a fellow Hostage

  184. Really? Really? Crying over Bubba, Riley, and stupid birds on a freaking Saturday night.

  185. She seems upset about something

  186. How you doin?

  187. She seems upset about something

    That time of the month. Amirite, fellas?

  188. She seems upset about something

    Ha!

    Um, maybe show this to Pepe Jr.

  189. Ha ha ha, Sean.

  190. That time of the month. Amirite, fellas?

    I HAVE ABSOLUTELY NO IDEA WHAT YOU ARE TALKING ABOUT!!

  191. Actually kinda hoping this will happen, Cyn. He seems to learn best by actually doing stuff.

  192. “Really? Really? Crying over Bubba, Riley, and stupid birds on a freaking Saturday night.”

    Oso,
    How could you be so callous?
    All of GODs creatures are precious. The dogs, birds, and the smallest fallen sparrow.
    Or, did someone hack your ID and you are really a heartless asshole posting as our own Crazy Bear?

  193. I HAVE ABSOLUTELY NO IDEA WHAT YOU ARE TALKING ABOUT!!

    Your caps betray you, madam.

  194. Cyn,
    “That time of the month. Amirite, fellas?

    I HAVE ABSOLUTELY NO IDEA WHAT YOU ARE TALKING ABOUT!!”

    You are gonna be so frickin’ glad to get to be our age.
    Trust me…

  195. Actually kinda hoping this will happen, Cyn.

    Darned thick-headed lugs. I’ll be there with my boys soon enough, though I do try to give them hints and tips when we see crazy broads on tv.

  196. I never cry! (Hardly evah!) I don’t cry for spiders or insects. You people are cruel making me care about dogs, birds, and everything that isn’t an arachnid or a insect. BTW I H8 mudbugs/crustaceans too.

  197. When I met Dorkus, I had oyster juice on my hands. Dorkus was like, “we can postpone ripping your face for later, because I need to lick your fingers right now”

  198. Dan still wears dog bite jeans around the condo because jeans are comfortable even with hole in leg.

    I think Dan and Mr. RFH are related. Then again, for years, I still wore the jeans with acid holes from meth chemistry lab.

  199. Your caps betray you, madam.

    *winks and uncaps some Silly String behind by back*

  200. I’ve had the “don’t stick your d!ck in crazy” talk with him. I guess it didn’t register. Someone said “God gave men a brain and a penis, but only enough blood to run one at a time.”

  201. Giant slabs of wounded cow, tater, rice, and veggies were et for dinner.

    http://tinyurl.com/lqgr2by

    Best of all, I didn’t have to do the dishes.

  202. You are gonna be so frickin’ glad to get to be our age.
    Trust me…

    Can. Not. Wait…

  203. >> He came from a messed up home Oso. He had demons.

    I didn’t know he had a past but that splains a lot.

    I’m not complaining, just sayin like it is. He could take me or leave me. Under the circumstances that’s pretty good of him.

  204. XB, taters and rice? Are you taunting the Carb gods?

  205. I’ve had the “don’t stick your d!ck in crazy” talk with him. I guess it didn’t register.

    We all have to find out for ourselves, don’t we. You couldn’t pay me enough to do the late teen-early 20’s years again. Ugh.

  206. Oso, I’m hardly a paleo guy. But I figured since I had two massive slices of beef, two modest servings of carbs wouldn’t be the end of the world. Hell, I even et my salad *and* some veggies.

  207. I was pretty angsty in those years, Cyn.

  208. >> I HAVE ABSOLUTELY NO IDEA WHAT YOU ARE TALKING ABOUT!!

    *checks color coded calendar.. orange..

    oh.

    *hand Cyn something from the Godiva grab bag*

  209. He had a bad past. When we got him home we learned he was afraid of men, garden tools, things thrown, rifles, and postal employees.

    He was two.

  210. *hand Cyn something from the Godiva grab bag*

    WHY WERE YOU NOT HERE WITH THIS THREE DAYS AGO?!!???

    *ahem*

    I mean, why, thank you very kindly. Most thoughtful of you, Dave.

  211. Wounded cow? That’s just cruel.

  212. I think Sparky has a thing going on with guys; he is so crazy protective of me and very jealous when I’m hugging or kissing on one of the boys. He’s gotten a little better since I’ve been working with him, but sometimes… cripes.

  213. I H8 people that abuse dogs and kids. OK, cats too.

  214. He responds to fear with violence. That’s why he bit me and fucked up some vacuum cleaners.

  215. I wouldn’t say ‘afraid of.’ I would say ‘gonna bite and fuck with it if he ever gets the chance.’

    And occasionally he got the chance.

    Pretty sure those kids got him with the bb gun now and again when he was a pup. Pretty sure he probably deserved it, too.

    We used to throw snowballs at our old Black Labrador, and he would try to catch them, frolic in the snow, etc.

    We learned in .03 seconds that throwing a snowball at Bubba does not elicit the same joyful play response, and he doesn’t try to catch the snowball. He tries to catch the thrower. In a bad way.

    Listen, I’m not going to sugarcoat this; my dog is a fucking asshole. I still love him. But I know what he is.

  216. **makes mental note to not hump Cyn’s leg at next AZ meetup**

  217. *pushes the chocolate towards Cyn

  218. oh honey.. here, you get the whole bag..

    *whew*

    Under the circumstances Bubba’s distrust of mens served Laura well. Except for your face.

    I don’t think I ever met Ruby, not sure. I wish I had.

  219. *takes all the chocolate, hands out orange highlighter pens and smiles sweetly*

  220. I have other colors to track.. the things..

    but I really don’t need them. I can just kinda tell. I’m like the Rainman in this regard. Ask around.

  221. I like that Sparky is that protective of me when I’m here by myself. If we hear a noise during the day, I just fling open my office door and he charges right out to check things. Good boy.

  222. All my dog abuse H8 is centered on Michael Vick. The Eagles. And MCPO. Sorry. I’m literal like that. (Wants to Kumbaya every animal in the history of Ohana)

  223. Sparky. Good dog. Except the whole ASU thingy. Fork U!

  224. Cyn, try giving Sparky a job. Some dogs need that.

    Ruby’s job was to keep all other animal life out of our yard. She was good at it.

  225. Fork U 2, Oso. M’wah!

    *makes note to make sure Oso is my SS recipient, laughs evilly, begins buying all the Sun Devil things*

  226. Dan FINALLY lost his Sparky pic on FB.

  227. You wouldn’t believe what she would do to Ripper when he entered the yard.

  228. He love guarding the yard, Scott. Unfortunately, his skin allergies have been so bad this year, if I let him stay out there for too long then he gets miserable, and we already have to wet wipe him every time he comes back inside. Yet another appointment to the dermatologist vet this Wednesday to discuss his food diet trial (which failed).

  229. I <3 Ruby too. Good dog.

  230. Is that code for something Oso?

  231. Poor Sparky. I think Gingy has cataracts. Dan thinks cataract surgery on dogs is insane.

  232. Dan attends ASU games with CiL without me and uses his pics with Sparky on FB. WHY?

  233. Xbrad,
    I’ve seen cows hurt worse than that get well!
    WTF are you eating? Did it MOO when you cut it?

  234. Goodness, is CAC trying to write the War and Peace of astronomy? I think I sprained my finger scrolling through all that.

  235. my downstairs neighbor’s son is blasting music at eleventy.
    I jacked my Onkyo 600 watt receiver up to 1111111ty and am pumping Limp Bizcut to the max. My Polk Audio Rti9a to 11

    bite me I win on stereo amps and speakers.and sub-woofers rock the house

  236. Allergies suck.

  237. >> Ruby’s job was to keep all other animal life out of our yard. She was good at it.

    Moses does alright with the squirrel intruders. It’s hot now and they drink from the pool

    Didn’t mean to mention Ruby, my bad, I just remembered her is all.

  238. Haven’t met him, but I like Dan even more. GO DEVILS!

  239. We didn’t do right by our sweet Ruby. She suffered, we took too long to say goodbye.

  240. One of the watermelons had a vine sneak through the fence into the back yard. I didn’t see it today. I mowed it.

  241. Oh honey, I’m sorry I mentioned her. It was memories of how much you both loved her.

    I didn’t mean to rub a hurt. I’m sorry.

  242. Dan is a sports whore! He’ll wear any team any time as long as the tickets are free!

  243. Nah, no worries. Just a fact.

  244. Scott, Laura, my bad. I didn’t mean to recall a sadness. We’ve all had critters, and had to do the things you gotta do with critters. I was just thinking about how you loved that pooch and also laughing about my feeble attempts to reach Yankee… which was NOT happening. Anyway my bad.

  245. Our neighbors in Washington went on vaca, and Mom and Dad were left in charge of Shadow, a GSD, who was just about as much their dog as the neighbors. And the poor girl took a turn for the worse. And Dad had to take her in. Just about broke his heart.

  246. I jacked my Onkyo 600 watt receiver up to 1111111ty and am pumping Limp Bizcut to the max.

    I was cranking up some Pink Floyd once when my MiL dropped off my wife after they went somewhere. MiL wondered when I put speakers outside.

    My wife was laughing as she said I was in the basement.

    o_O

    Harman Kardon with some Klipsch Cornwalls here.

  247. We had a German Shepherd/St. Bernard cross on the farm. Noopy. He got along with the farm cats, and they used to go hunting together. They would bring each other presents.

    Noopy passed when we were gone at school. Mom covered him with a blanket, until we got home. When we got home, the cats were all on the blanket, saying goodbye with a little nap.

  248. Well we’ve all been there I think, most of us. Those little furballs work their way into our hearts. The hardest thing ever is to carry them to sleep but it’s a thing we must do when the time comes. All they ask of us is to hold them at the end of it. Our love for them at that time is what they need the most, even when we’re crying.

  249. True Story! Our first dog, Rip, really went home with a co-worker of my Dad’s that lived in the country. Rip was able to run and play and enjoy country life. SYWM

  250. Jay, you hold Dave while Laura gives him the shot.

  251. oh fuck

  252. *has the whole blog put down*

  253. Jay and Dave,
    Yup, Saying goodbye is the hardest part. Seeing the other kittens saying goodbye to their ancestors is a heart breaker.
    They really do that, and it damned near killed us.
    Now they are no more.
    We will never do it again, but we will miss it…

  254. Before our Gingy Miracle! We went through all the stages of grief. She has cataracts and we are torn. TORN!

  255. Rip?

    http://tinyurl.com/l9cjvtf

  256. First dog was named Rip. Porn Star name: Rip Torrez.

  257. Rip Starboard if you use 1st pet and Street instead of mother’s maiden name.

  258. True Story! Your birthdays are OK but September!!!!

  259. Well, I just got fantastic news. My mom had her hip pop out for the third time this year. Sounds like it’s going to be surgery this time, and they’re not going to Hawaii in two weeks.

  260. *cranks up September

    great tune, Dave. I’m sorry for having you put down.

  261. My new Logitech computer speakers with subwoofer really rock!

  262. Crap! Sorry, Sean. Parents need to just stop!

  263. youtube makes better musical selections than amazon makes shopping choices for vmax:

  264. Can you go in her place, Sean?

    To Hawaii, not surgery.

  265. There are good rap songs:

  266. Way to find the bright side, xbrad!

  267. Friend of ours had her hip-replacement pop-out for the third time, after about ten years.
    They took her in and replaced the ball and socket, under warranty!

  268. It’s not the parts, it’s the labor that’ll get ya.

  269. J’ames, my mom bought me a two week trip to Aruba once. And didn’t tell me. And she booked it over the ONE week I absolutely could not get leave.

    So Dad went in my place. He hated it.

  270. MiL has never recovered from hip surgery/broken femur. That is why we are so pissed that she decided to garden the other day while FiL was at oncologist. (Broke hip, surgery, while in rehab, night nurses didn’t respond fast enough and MiL fell out of bed and broke femur)

  271. Best thing about working retail: Avoiding family holidays. Worst thing about retail: Ruining holidays. Feast or famine.

  272. That would be nice, but it’s not really an option. I gots car payments to make.

  273. Sorry about your Mom, Sean.

  274. Sorry, Sean. I wasn’t a huge fan of Hawaii, but then, to me, being there was just a job.

  275. Thanks, oso.

    I was just talking to someone about something similar, b-rad. Apparently, when you live and work in that part of the world, Hawaii is kinda meh.

  276. Sucks that she won’t be able to go, sucks worse about her hip.

    Hope she gets it fixed, so it doesn’t ruin anything else.

  277. I can’t wait to be homeless in Hawai’i. I’ve already picked out my beach and island.

  278. Hawaii to Oso:

    (don’t watch, Cyn)

  279. oso

    Check out St Johns sometime
    American Virgin Islands
    Best beaches in the Caribbean

  280. J’ames, my options are defined by lottery wins. If I win the big lotto: Guy designs my home. If I don’t win but sell off my assets: Oahu condo. I really don’t like crowded Oahu. (Sorry Mare)

  281. TJ, do I need shots and a passport?

  282. oso
    No shots or passports required

    The natives supply the spliffs

  283. Weird, Guy already designed my house. I sent in my budget, and this is what he sent back:

    http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Corrugated_box_design

  284. Thanks, TJ. I’ll check it out. True Story: My birth certificate was lost in a fire in STL. I have to actually pay for a BC in SD if I want one.

  285. J’ames, I am waiting to win the lottery before I submit my budget to Guy.

  286. Sure oso
    La Migra hears that story every day

  287. Oh, J’ames with the fancy box. Guy tossed me a couple old newspapers, and told me there’s a steam grate at 5th and Elm.

  288. I used to have the letter from military records explaining the loss of my BC. Call me Barack! LOL

  289. Four Yorkshiremen SQUEEEEE!!!!

  290. oso
    If Obamas daddy had been white, Barack would be fixing parking tickets in Honolulu right now
    And he would have less shitty name than Barack

  291. Like Todd or Lance or some other ghey name

  292. Heh Lance. Not saying, but just sayin’

  293. oso
    I have a great picture of my (most) idiot dog with a cone but tinypic wont work on my iPhone

  294. My bebe isn’t photogenic. Even on FB. Takes after me. And Ginjar Binks.

  295. I can’t even describe how bizarre this dog is, yet amazingly cute

    He’s a Juarez stray that wandered into New Mexico with Juarez rabies tags
    My daughter found him on her way to the horse stables in Sunland Park

    He only took commands in Spanish

  296. A steam grate? Luxury. Guy wrapped me in a tarp and threw me into a drainage ditch.

  297. Aww…good perro! TJ I love rescue stories!

  298. Tarp? Drainage ditch? Shoebox in the middle of the road!!!

  299. Guy hates Whisps, Oso. Thought you knew…

  300. It’s allllliiiiiiiiiivvvvveeee!

  301. The city is crowded
    My friends are away and I’m on my own
    It’s too hot to handle
    So I got to get up and derp

  302. good morning haters and friends in the Texas cabal:

    http://dfw.cbslocal.com/2013/08/22/survey-says-texas-is-the-least-favorite-u-s-state/

  303. one of the midwestern cabal was arrested last night –
    drunk and disorderly and driving w/out a clue:
    http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Mvc2O-wpS4U

  304. Morning children. FU WordPress.

  305. http://tinyurl.com/kgrqosr

  306. off to help sonny boy on another remodel project…
    later pepe et al

  307. Wakey wakey

  308. Morning

  309. jam2
    Thanks for the upbeat link
    We love to be hated by a bunch of bankrupt leftwing fucktards

  310. So, they seriously released this shot of Obama shooting a soccer ball, unchallenged, in the goal? He’s not PUTIN level yet, but he’s close.

  311. As for soccer being gay, my daughter ran 10 miles yesterday with basically only soccer conditioning as her prep.

  312. Of course my daughter could probably duck Obama’s ads in about any sport.

  313. ooooo!
    Attack of the soccer mom!

  314. Ass. Autocucumber doesn’t like that word. It’ll learn.

  315. Duck. Kick.

    Name. I like soccer. Fun to watch and keeps my kids in great shape. My football playing son wasn’t in nearly as good of shape and now his knees hurt. Stupid.

  316. My kids too lazy to run long distance, so she’s a sprinter and long jumper

  317. Ha. Kindle FIRE wants me to just stop.

  318. I played da football in my yoot
    Never had an injury, thankfully
    My kid gets her speed from her mom
    Not me. Im pathetic
    Any sprint over 200 meters she refuses to run.

  319. car in
    Your daughter sounds amazing
    That’s a hell of a run

  320. The 400 is the greatest race. Followed by the 800.

  321. She is amazing. Only 13, but I want see what she can do in track or cross country next year. She has the natural calm athletic demeanor. No head games or girly bs.

  322. I know
    She’s built like a 400 meter runner
    Maybe in high school next year they’ll make her run it

  323. My kids been competing in the Junior Olympics since she was 10
    Calm demeanor is not her forte. however

  324. Rocketboy is a distance runner. Hated sprints in P.E.

  325. Spin, lift, spin, 5 mile run, 5 mile run, spin.

    Swim this afternoon if it doesn’t rain.

    *rain dances

  326. G’morning.

    Your rain dance is working here. Thank you.

  327. My son did football and baseball. They wanted him to run track, but he hated just sitting around all the time. Just before the state track meet, they timed him in the 100, and he ran the best time in the 100 for New Mexico that year. Couldn’t qualify for the meet though. No way he’d run distance.

  328. pepe
    Wow
    What did he run?

  329. Oh good – MJ did my exercise for me this morning.

    Appreciate it! :P

  330. Poated…

  331. I much prefer sprints to distance runs. Worked for an S3 who was training for the Army Ten-miler, and the fucker demanded that we do long (6-8 miles) runs about three times per week. By the end I’d get about a mile in and then my shins and feet would hurt so bad that I had to stop and walk. Ended up going on profile for a month right before I got out of the Army. Give me 30-60s on the track any day over that shit.


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