Pope Status: DOPE

Recent news indicates that the current Pope, Benedict the XVI, is going to step down as the Bishop of Rome at the end of the month. I was sort of uncomfortable with John Ratzinger as the pope anyway, so this doesn’t really make me sad. In reality, a life of sitting on a bar stool at Cheers and delivering mail wouldn’t have made the ideal representative of God on earth, but Cliff Claven really knew his shit. I mean, he knew everything, which is why he got the job, I’m sure. Whatevs. The Catholics will find a new one.




In all seriousnesslyester,

Way back in 2007 Mrs MJ and went to Rome for some sort of party. While there, we decided to catch the weekly blessing from Pope Benedict. I’m not a particularly religious guy and neither is my better half, but it seemed like a fun thing to do and it gave us a chance to go through the museum.

Every expectation I had was totally incorrect. The crowd was raucous, the Pope was energetic, and the ceremony was pretty short. It started with a welcoming prayer which was repeated in 2o something different languages. When he delivered it in Portuguese, the Brazilians started singing and dancing, to which the Pope happily smiled, laughed, and clapped along. It felt a bit like a soccer match. He also welcomed a few nuns from parts of Africa that I wasn’t really familiar with, who stood and dazzled the crowd of thousands with their ornate costumes (there’s multiple Jumbotrons). We happened to be sitting close to them, and it was obvious that they beamed with pride as the crowd cheered them loudly.

It was a wonderful experience that I was fortunate to be a part of. Rather than sombre and reflective, as I expected, it was joyful and uplifting.


Crowd waiting to get in to see the Wednesday blessing with the Pope.

Crowd waiting to get in to see the Wednesday blessing with the Pope.


Saint Rosetta: Patron of chubby kids, lice, and Jaegermeister.

Saint Rosetta: Patron of chubby kids, lice, and Jaegermeister.


No PopeMobile Required. Also the name of a good cover band.

No PopeMobile Required. Also the name of a good cover band.


Pope: What up, homies? Ready for my blessing?

Pope: What up, homies? Ready for my blessing?


This Swiss Guard looked a little French IYKWIMAITYD.

This Swiss Guard looked a little French IYKWIMAITYD.


  1. Timely. Relevant post.

    WTF is going on here?

  2. I had to file my yearly ethics/financial report for work yesterday. Pisses me off that I’ll go to jail and fined into oblivion if I did 1% of what Menendez did with Melgen.

    Obeying laws, like paying taxes, is for the little people. And by “little” – I mean those not politically connected.

  3. Excellent, MJ.

    You are absolutely not the dickweed that Cyn says you are in her secret emails.

  4. St. Rosetta has hair?

    That’s cool, MJ. Mr. RFH went to one of the weekly papal audiences in 1997. (I would have been there, too, but my plane was late.) He was quite impressed with the Swiss Guards’ talent for crowd control and the way the Popemobile could drive right up the steps..

  5. I also see that you are a master at photoshop….well done, douche.

  6. Aristocracy is alive and well in our government.

    The first rule of any government should be that the employees will be held to a higher, not lesser standard. Fines and jail time should be doubled for those in a position of public trust.

  7. “Fines and jail time should be doubled for those in a position of public trust.”

    Amen, Brother!

  8. MJ, what is your favorite Deadmau5 piece of music?

  9. G’Morning, peeps

  10. Ohai, Cyn.

  11. How are you feeling Cyn?

  12. >> yells FU FATASS!!

    What? What’d I do now?

  13. I can’t be you Dave, you’re a slender one now.

  14. Ah, “it” can’t be you.


  15. Three layers shy of death warmed over, Scott. Thanks.

  16. Caption up there: This Swiss Guard looked a little French IYKWIMAITYD.

    HA! LOTS French.

  17. *marries mare for the 3rd time*

  18. **sends cabana boy with chicken and rice soup to Cyn**

  19. For Cyn, it’s not chicken soup but I hope it helps:


  20. Oh, my gosh Roamy we are simpatico, I did not see your comment before I posted mine.

  21. http://tinyurl.com/baxguea

  22. Mmmm burn it outta me — thanks girlies!

  23. *whacks cabana boy with a 2 x 4, grabs soup, delivers personally*

  24. So, there are actually republicans who would vote for that dope Hagel.

    Fricken shameful.

  25. Mmmm, between chicken and rice, and chicken noodle, I don’t know which one to pick.

    Ok, the homemade noodles, they get the edge. But both so delicious.

  26. Dave, you better be prepared to dance, that’s part of the deal.

  27. Morning children.

  28. Comment by mare on February 12, 2013 7:20 am

    I get up early, but my husband is out of town so I have a different routine.


  29. I have a few:

    Faxing Berlin
    Raise Your Weapon

  30. HA! Pups, nailed it.

    Actually I’m getting up earlier because I’m not drinking to whittle the waist.

    My husband has about 1 beer or 1 margarita a month…maybe.

  31. Thank you, MJ.

  32. So SOTU is going to be about gun control?

  33. My husband has about 1 beer or 1 margarita a month…maybe.

    I like to get that first one out of the way, right away. No procrastination here!

  34. I asked because I think I like DM5.

    Since I’ve dropped out of political society I’ve been listening to music all the time. I love Stateless now and that lead me to DM5. Very strange journey.

    I usually like music that 15 year old girls like.

  35. So SOTU is going to be about gun control?

    Holy crap, that’s funny.

  36. Mmmm burn it outta me — thanks girlies!

    Perhaps a lovely libation would help as well?


  37. Most of you people are young but have any of you ever looked in the mirror and said, “what the hell happened to my face?”

  38. >> Dave, you better be prepared to dance, that’s part of the deal.

    *does sexy Elaine dance*

  39. Hostage Family Theater:

    Mare to Mr. Mare: Do I look weird?

    Mr. Mare: Weirder than what?


  40. I try to avoid mirrors.

  41. I have to use a mirror to keep my beard even. If it weren’t for that, I wouldn’t bother.

  42. Most of you people are young but have any of you ever looked in the mirror and said, “what the hell happened to my face?”

    Mr. TiFW told me I had to quit looking in mirrors:

  43. I’m going to be fired today.

    And immediately re-hired. The owner of the company sold out to 2 VP’s and is retiring.

    How about a joke thread – best/worst job benefits?

    Reach around on Mon, Wed, Fri and 2 holidays a year

  44. Most of you people are young but have any of you ever looked in the mirror and said, “what the hell happened to my face?”
    I can’t figure out how it is going by so quickly. It’s sad, sort of.

  45. Pupster, that happened to me after 9 months on this job.

    Hope it’s a painless transition.

  46. WTF, Pups?!?

    Also, free food when they empty out the company fridge once a month.

  47. Morning, losers. Is anyone watching the political rally tonight?

  48. My last job came with a Red Ryder BB gun & all the squirrel tacos I could shoot & eat.

  49. Is anyone watching the political rally tonight?

    I’ve decided to take the feminists’ advice and refuse to enable my abuser, so……no.

  50. Great guns, MJ, I just listened to that Dead Mouse thing. I know what we’re playing at our jade plant’s next birfday party.

  51. Tushar’s chart continues to capture accolades on Twitter.

  52. Looks like he’s getting as much credit as Geoff for his charts.

  53. Every half hour.

  54. very moving to see all that here in my little central Texas town

  55. I’ve decided to take the feminists’ advice and refuse to enable my abuser, so……no.

    I’m staying sober for a while, so I don’t think I could handle it.

    Of course, I’m also a bit of a masochist when it comes to politics, so I may.

  56. Better… this is remarkable


  57. Very cool poat, MJ. When we went to Rome almost 15 years ago, the Pope was out of town.

  58. Most of you people are young but have any of you ever looked in the mirror and said, “what the hell happened to my face?”


    Beasn lurves mare.

  59. L – R

    Mare – Cyn


  60. I have never been to Spain.

    But I’ve been to Oklahoma.

  61. http://tinyurl.com/besb37h

    Fake but Accurate!

  62. Hey mare, how did you get all those Valentine cards?

    Want another one?

  63. I used to love it when the boys would make me cards when they were little.

  64. Good day, smart people and Suzi Parker.

  65. Haha, that story about Palin going to Al Jazeera America is a hoot.

    Stupid libs will believe/write anything.

  66. Well timed, Sean. Well timed.

  67. I like the scoop that Sarah is opening a women’s hunting store called:


  68. Good ones here (along with the one xbrad mentioned):


    First 3 out of 4 starring Cuffy!

  69. HA! Hello funny tools.

    Suzi Parker…part time cub reporter, part time political and cultural journalist, full time dumbass.

  70. My favorite:

  71. Hehe, she’s blocking people on twitter without responding.

    Poor Cuffy.

  72. I have never been to Spain.

    But I’ve been to Oklahoma.

    I have never been to Heaven.

    But I’ve been to Iowa.

  73. I used to love it when the boys would make me cards when they were little.

    The ones from little Oedipus were especially adorable?

  74. I watched that movie, too.

  75. Cuffy is a survivor. He’ll muddle through somehow.

  76. I don’t believe in Cuffy.

  77. Suzi Parker is a special kind of stupid

  78. It’s not like there is a nationwide shortage of “special kind of stupid.”

  79. Four More Years! Yes We Can!

  80. True on that!

  81. It’s not like there is a nationwide shortage of “special kind of stupid.”

    Second look at rationing?

  82. Where would we keep the extra stupid, Sean?

  83. Where would we keep the extra stupid, Sean?

    Mostly we seem to send it to Congress.

  84. Well, Miss Lindsey is up for reelection, isn’t he?

  85. I heard Yucca Mountain is not being used. Ship it there. Also Nor Luap said Fort Knox is empty, so maybe half there to spread it out.

  86. Where would we keep the extra stupid, Sean?

    We’re not using Gitmo for anything anymore, right?

    Oh, wait…

  87. Where would we keep the extra stupid, Sean?

    Dump ’em in the Bermuda Triangle.

    Better yet, drop ’em over some empty spot in the middle of Afghanistan and let them figure out how to get back. I’m sure the Afghanis, the Chinese, and the Russians will be nice to them.

    Not so sure about the Turks, though……

  88. This is potentially the funniest thing ever written by the unaware left:

    “He is relaxed, more voluble and even more confident than usual, these people say, freer to drop profanities or dismiss others’ ideas — enough that even some supporters fear the potential for hubris.”

  89. I’m still laughing over the Cariboutique :D

  90. Would Sean watch Greg Gutfeld on Celebrity Jeopardy?


    I would!

  91. They aren’t good enough for Gitmo. Why isn’t our Gulag someplace more Gulag-y?

  92. Dude, I watched when they had Tingles on. So, yeah.

    (I would actually be interested in seeing Andy Levy as a contestant, but I’m pretty sure he’s too smart for the celeb edition.)

  93. We could gulag ’em to Hawaii. Drop ’em on the lava fields & let the feral pigs have ’em.

  94. Olivia Wilde says hello:


  95. *waves*

  96. I bet feral pigs are delicious.

  97. JohnE’s poat over at the mothership is a work o’ art.

  98. I bet feral pigs are delicious.

    Not as good as farm raised pigs.

    And if you kill them by shooting them with half a dozen cleaning rod sections fired out of an M16 barrel propelled by blank rounds, let the guy you really don’t like be the one that goes up to admister the coup de grace and slit its throat.

    Our guy got mauled by the pig, AND managed to stab himself more than the pig.

  99. I like game meat, so I might enjoy them more than you did.

  100. shooting them with half a dozen cleaning rod sections

    I can’t wait to go on a huntin’ trip with you.

  101. I wanna hunt with the guy from the Slingshot Channel.

  102. “He is relaxed, more voluble and even more confident than usual, these people say, freer to drop profanities or dismiss others’ ideas — enough that even some supporters fear the potential for hubris.”


    Welcome to the GOP, circa 2008.

    (Somebody increase their chocolate rations, m’kay?)

  103. Reporting on KCAL right now that Dorner may have been taken into custody.

  104. I think they grabbed LL Cool J by mistake.

  105. Right now they’re saying there’s a possible sighting. Unconfirmed reports of custody.

  106. Bigfoot might be involved.

    And Loch Ness Nessie.

  107. You made a comment not long ago about our site loading weird; I’m noticing today that it loads fine, but it doesn’t want to keep its place where I’ve clicked to hold it.

  108. What’s that smell? It smells like a diaper full of indian food! It smells like bigfoot’s dick!

  109. Sarah Palin spotted in vicinity!

  110. Sarah has done what the LAPD can’t: actually shot her intended prey.

  111. Cyn, I’m having that same problem.

    //stabs WordPress with a rusty fork

  112. //stabs WordPress with a rusty fork

    Don’t stop until my arm gets tired.

  113. It smells like bigfoot’s dick!

    Dave, how do you know that’s what it smells like?

  114. //trades in fork for flamethrower

    I’m on it, TigerCyn

  115. You can say Michael Savage is wrong about a lot of things but he’s not wrong on this; Liberalism is a mental disorder.

  116. His diet advice is mostly terrible, too.

  117. //trades in fork for flamethrower

    Bring the heat!

  118. Will you be surprised to know wordpress has been landing where it wants to on my computer for a while.

    Xbrad, please pass that fork. Appreciate it.

  119. Oh, great. Mare and I have something in common. How long before I’m consigned to the spam bucket?

  120. Local CBS actually has a guy live on the phone up there in the middle of a gunfight. One of the cops just shouted “GET THE FUCK OUT OF HERE!” at him on air.

  121. So is it him, Sean?

  122. Live stream might be available here before their server melts down:


  123. I’m quoting movie lines, not relating personal experiences. I don’t know nothin bout no bigfoot.

    Now, chupacabras…

  124. Dunno, Cyn. However, it’s a little late in the day for newspaper deliveries, so there’s that.

  125. Crud; I gotta leave to p/u a boy. I’ll find out when I get back.


  126. I heard that guy loves Rush Limbaugh and Sarah Palin. The only reason the media isn’t reporting it is because they are so biased toward conservatives.

  127. Are schools in CT on lockdown?

  128. “Are schools in CT on lockdown?”

    HA! If closing all schools could save one life, we have to try.

  129. If there’s ever a statewide manhunt for me, please tell any investigators that I was obsessed with Rachel Maddow.

  130. I sorta felt bad typing that out, but I thought it was pretty goddam funny.

  131. Did you dickholes eat your paczkis today?

  132. I gave up lint.

  133. If that’s another word for beef jerky, then yes.

  134. I looked at a paczki until I thought I might be hungry, then I ate pork and sweet potatoes. Does that count?

  135. Cleanest my desk has been in years:


    getting new office furniture, for extra people in our department!

  136. Good call on minimizing the solitaire game before taking the pic, J’ames.

  137. I shoulda had Soylent Green on there.

  138. So tonight the networks will have to decide whether to cover an angry black man intent on getting people killed and spreading hatred and anger or the Dorner story?

    Posted by: Rob Crawford | February 12, 2013 at 05:00 PM

    From Just One Minute

  139. This is from the Huffington Post yesterday:

    Christopher Dorner: Cop-Killer or Martyr?

    There is no dealing with the left. They are way too weird.

  140. Whoops, prank call.

    “You’re a real dumbass! You still don’t know this is a prank?!”

  141. Wow, turns out they really shot the owner of the cabin in Big Bear.

    Someone named Suzi Parker.

  142. They report Dorner took Hostages.

    *looks around*

    *counts noses*

    Hey, where is Carin?

  143. Don’t worry, Hotspur. She’s super sizing for people today. If it was tomorrow, you’d have to worry.

  144. They report Dorner took Hostages.

    If he took Rosetta, do you think he’d keep him?

  145. Cleanest my desk has been in years:

    Hey! I can see my avatard! Things are going to start happening to me now.

  146. Rumor — police has called in an armored vehicle to evacuate the wounded officers.

    Didn’t they do that in Die Hard, too?

  147. Sheppard has made me smile today.

    I plan to be watching anime on Crunchyroll in any event.

  148. If he took Rosetta, do you think he’d keep him?

    No way. Well, maybe after getting a few latex wardrobe tips first.

  149. Today, on my order, I instructed the LAPD to take down Dorner. After a carefully reviewed manhunt, I directed the local police, again on my order, to find him and bring him to justice for the people that I lead and command. It was with heavy heart that I made such sacrafice for the people who I lead in LA. My plan worked, and now thanks to my order, the people of LA can know that this nightmare is over thanks to me. Again, this was all done at my command, and on my order and my direction, after I carefully deliberated on my plan that I thought up in my head.

    — Barack Obama

    Can this guy lead or what.

    — Chrissy Matthews

    Posted by: SH at February 12, 2013 04:14 PM

  150. Cyn ♥s Noel Sheppard

  151. It bugs the shit out of me when they talk about someone in the Navy having survival skills/training.

    Look, unless he went to SERE school, no, he doesn’t have survival training.

  152. I can open a can of Beefaroni without using an electric can opener.

    ~Class of 1973, Survival School Graduate

  153. Maybe he read the Army Survival Manual. I have a copy at home. I’ve also seen every episode of Survivorman.

    Leon = Survival Expert.

  154. I know how to get those last pesky Pringles out of the bottom of the can without crushing my hand.

    ~Survival School Graduate

  155. Screw it, I’m going to the pool.

  156. I can drive through Boston without unplanned vehicular contact.

    I haz survival SKILZ!

  157. I cut open a tube of toothpaste to scrape the last bits out.

  158. MJ, I laughed.

  159. Dan had never used a manual can opener before we got married.

  160. I throw out the last sliver of soap. (First to die after Nork Nuke Attack)

  161. When I was in the Space Army, we had to slice open Rosie ODonnell & sleep over night inside her to keep warm.

  162. 3 of our 4 daughters lived to see 19 – I haz Survival SkilzTM

  163. Stark, did you fight in the Australian War?

  164. My grammo’s adobe had a wood stove and a cistern. No TV. No radio. Party line. I’ve already roughed it. I camp with more amenities than my mom grew up with. I want a direct hit from SMOD/Nork Nuke.

  165. Afternoon.

  166. They are probably shooting at someone’s black lab.

  167. I used to watch MacGyver and The A-Team. I will survive in a tank made from tinfoil gum wrappers.

  168. Oso, same with my grandma, different country (ireland). Rock walls, thatch roof and a peat fire. My uncle convinced her to add plumbing and an indoor toilet when she was in her 70’s.

  169. Back in the ‘Nam, we lived on wild bananas and chased them down with Agent Orange Tang.

  170. Leon,
    You must be thinking of my grandfather, Stumpy Dickflüssig. I was a Space Army REMF, I dug space latrines & only had to take that one Rosie Survival class.

  171. Well, in event, thank you for your fictional service.

  172. Nobody let mare see this


  173. Here is my “fictional” service!


  174. Jimbro, my grammo was pissed when her kids replaced her wringer/washer with electric washer and dryer. She was 80 and hated it! I hated going to the outhouse. It had no door and you could see the sheep grazing on the hillside.

  175. Żubrówka.

    You gotta try this stuff. Grass vodka. Vodka infused with some kind of buffalo grass that lives in Poland.

    I guess it is a Polish national drink of sorts; they’ve had it forever but it just started getting distributed in the US recently.

    Does it taste like fresh mowed lawn clippings? Yes.
    Is that somehow pleasant? Yes.
    Does it also taste warmly of vanilla and cinnamon? Yes. Dear God, I don’t know how, but yes.
    Is it mufakin delicious? Oh my word yes.
    With three splashes of apple juice, does it suddenly and mysteriously taste like a delicious, rich creamy cocktail? Yes.

    I don’t know what kind of elfin magic is in this and I don’t care.

  176. Ok I’m in.

  177. In Chris Kyle’s book, he says the Polish vodka kicked Russian vodka’s ass.

  178. I’ll look for it. You should see if they’ll pay you for the advert on this highly-trafficked American blawg.

  179. I’m home from taking food to perfect strangers.

    I get tomorrow off.


  180. Are you washing down your paczkis with it?

  181. My grammo’s adobe had a wood stove and a cistern. No TV. No radio. Party line. I’ve already roughed it. I camp with more amenities than my mom grew up with. I want a direct hit from SMOD/Nork Nuke.

    I am so happy you decided to delurk after 821 years. That’s just funny.

  182. What kind of vodka do you think Obama’s daughters prefer?

  183. You guys are funny mofos.

    *cries that I have to work so much

  184. Żubrówka.
    Sounds interesting. I’ll see if I can get it out here.

  185. What kind of vodka do you think Obama’s daughters prefer?

    A protective 5th column will see to it that we never find out.

  186. I bet I could find that in Hamtramck.

  187. I’m pinned down, by which I mean I went to the pool, soaked in the hot tub, talked with a few Canadians, read a book, drank a beer, smoked some cigarettes, and came home to see the total suck that passes for comments here.

  188. You’re more likely to find Ripple in Hamtramck these days.

  189. Haha, it’s the first vodka mentioned here:


  190. We are getting a Total Wine & More next week. Looks like they carry it. SQUEEEEE!!!!

  191. There were still a few heritage Polish shops over there last time I visited, but yeah, I’d not want to be there after dark.

  192. The cocktail recipe I heard this morning was three parts apple juice and two parts Żubrówka. But I just tasted some on the rocks first, and then splashed in some apple juice on top. It’s wonderful. Rich, subtle, not too sweet. Kind of indescribable.

  193. This one, laura? Bison grass?


  194. Laura, will you adopt me?

  195. Hamtramk has turned mostly Arab, actually.

  196. I’m waiting for leon to explain it’s effects on rats, and why it’s banned in North America (except for the American version, zu)

  197. So, who thinks Dorner was wounded and bled out?

  198. We have a Governor here fighting to privatize booze sales. . .

  199. Don’t fall for it, Laura. He’s in his forties, and lives in his mom’s basement.

  200. That is it, Jay. It makes an impressive and unusual cocktail. I’m sniffing my empty glass and it smells almost like some kind of delicious musk or perfume. So strange but so tasty.

  201. What’s with all of the A-rabs in Michigan anyway?

  202. Henry Ford invited them.

  203. Nobody let mare see this



  204. No, Xbrad. Sorry. I’m not allowed to take on any more foster kids since The Incident.

  205. Henry Ford was an anti-Semite and a horrible human being.

  206. Probably why he liked those other Semites from that same region.

  207. Of COURSE, the cabin is on fire now.

  208. Same strategy as Waco, I see. Started out as Ruby Ridge.

  209. This could be entertaining:


    If I hear the first chords of Stranglehold tonight, Imma gonna die happy.

  210. A friend of mine’s ranch was the end of the power line. Had 5 freezers in his barn that belonged to various people further down the road. They finally put in the power line to the rest of the people in about 1990. Two little old ladies in their late 70’s had power for the first time ever. They went from cooking on a wood stove to a microwave and a Mr. Coffee. Quite a change. Heck we didn’t have a phone at the ranch ’til 1980, we did have power though.

  211. Who is watching the SOTU and who is watching Westminster?

  212. Westminster.

  213. Enjoy your day off tomorrow Carin. I’ll call you.

    >> Kind of indescribable.

    Yet you soldier on. You’re not sucking at it by the way, I’m gettin the general idea.

  214. Pepe, I have friends that had to pay for 4 poles when they built their home in ’87. As the properties between their home and the road sold, they were reimbursed for the poles. I could sit in their living room and watch elk and deer head to the river.

  215. SOTU won’t be interrupted by Dorner. Coincidence?

  216. “There are no coincidences..” – Sherlock Holmes

  217. Hope they find a corpse or he’ll be the next DB Cooper or Osama Bin Ladin

  218. Oso, while they were drilling the well, I spotted a couple of dozen elk about 300 yards away. Not disturbed by the drilling activity.

  219. Elk have AADD.

    Kinda like me around girls.

  220. Spent the day putting in pipe and conduit. Hopefully the electrician can come tomorrow. Once everything is set, the well guy will come and put the pump in the well and hook it up. With any luck we’ll only be out of water for one day.

  221. You should have harvested one, Pepe.

  222. She seems nice pup. Maybe I’ll buy it this year!

  223. One day without water is like camping. Last year we went to Black canyon too early and had to bring in all our own water. (Shudders)

  224. I’m waiting for leon to explain it’s effects on rats, and why it’s banned in North America (except for the American version, zu)

    It’s Fat Tuesday. I’ll be an ornery buzzkill some other time.

  225. So he’s not bleeding out, he’s hungry?

  226. That Dorner dude is really baked!

  227. Raise your hand if you think the cops will cheerfully reimburse the owner of the cabin for torching the place to the ground.

  228. Collateral damage

  229. Sup losers?

  230. **sets MJ’s cabin on fire**

  231. Man Job.

  232. Wanna get away?

  233. Sweet. My Total Wine carries the polish vodka. I’m out of Chopin so I have to swing in there fairly soon anyway.

  234. Pups, I am glad you survived your meetup with Cyn.
    She’s horrible.

  235. I know, right?

  236. Did they use a tank to set the cabin on fire? They’ll probably say Dorner did it.

  237. I meat up with Cyn in 11 days! SQUEEEEE!!!!

  238. Oso’s first.

    * snif *

  239. Car in has the day off tomorrow. Yea!

  240. I know!

  241. If 12 days from now, Cyn starts talking about bear jerky…

  242. Did anybody ruin anybody else’s skiing vacation today?

  243. They are saying that the next Pope could be black.
    They will have to lower the chassis and add a boombox to the popemobile.

    I denounce myself.

  244. Pickled bear…

  245. Tape a machete to your leg.

  246. I’m not Puerto Rican. Mexicans use knives. (Looks around for Aggie)

  247. PJM didn’t do that.

  248. Mexicans use knives.

    Stereotypes are hurtful, homes.

  249. I’m Irish, we use shillelaghs.

  250. Holy Fuck, he just said we’ve had 2.5 trillion in spending cuts.

  251. We use guns too. We can’t afford range time. Or bullets.

  252. And we’re back to the Buffett rule.

  253. It’s good that Boehner has the Scotch decanter in front of him again.

  254. Whomever whacked me with that nap bat, thank you!

  255. Aww, you won’t need your gun here, Oso. Probably. We won’t be close enough to Guadalupe.

    Come to think of it though, I almost took MJ there on accident.

  256. Pedal to the metal on climate change!

  257. Jay hit the Scotch to watch. Good call.

  258. For God’s sake, J’Ames, find something better to watch. Your sanity is a precious gift.

  259. And now we’re gonna spend it on bridges!

    *pulls up youtube of last 4 SOTU

    Yep, same thing.

  260. For anyone else who wants to come visit, I promise that I won’t take a wrong turn into Guadalupe. Unless you like it a little rough. *grins evilly*

  261. Hahaha We took a wrong turn through Guadalupe. Short cut from Chandler to Tempe…the map didn’t say anything about “Guadalupe”

  262. You only make that mistake once. Memorable, nevertheless.

  263. I have been watching SotU and when my BP rises there is a calming aerial overview of English castles on the Smithsonian channel.

    I admit it is rather lopsided Castles are winning hands down.

  264. Only thing scarier was the detour through Little Haiti in Miami, the year they were killing tourists and had just burned that part of Miami down because of the cops killing that guy on the motorcycle. You should have seen the cops face when I walked into the substation to get directions to the ballpark. Good times.

  265. Hehe, Daughter of Lily Ledbetter just reared it’s head.

  266. Minimum wage to $9 an hour!

    Woo hoo!

  267. Raise minimum wage. *DRINKS*

  268. I have worked at the pizza place for over 25 years. I make $9.25.

  269. Well, that’ll bring the Messicans back to work on farms again.

  270. I made it 2:55 before flipping it back to House.

  271. Good fucking thing the SOTU was tonight. Had it been during Lent, I would have gone on a machete-wielding hacking spree.

  272. >> Whomever whacked me with that nap bat, thank you!


  273. Every time minimum wage was raised, Target did not do incremental increases for employees that were in place before the minimum wage increase. ABQ just passed a BS minimum wage law. I recv’d my increase two weeks ago to compensate. We still have a hiring freeze in place. Way to go, ABQ. (Laughs at friends still with Target)

  274. Minimum wage was 1.90 when I started working. I made 2.10 as a touch key. We wore turnips on our belts.

  275. Minimum wage is much better than what I have received Oso.

    Not complaining. Well not much.

  276. Is it racist to note that Boener looks more tan than Obama?

  277. Gimme five bees for a quarter, oso.

  278. welcome

    *emails Dave a thank you fruitcake*

  279. It was better than what I received as a salaried retail manager too. Minimum wage increases with Obamacare hourly mandates are killing us at store level. Elections have consequences.

  280. Let’s just go ahead and raise it to $50 an hour. In fact, some smart Republican should enter a bill for that.

  281. Hahaha ‘ean.

  282. Wait we are looking for the Bonhome Richard? Xbrad have you blogged about that? The Grasp? In the North Sea? Wow

  283. Let’s just give every American $1 million dollars and end all poverty forever!

  284. Zimbabwe here we come eleventy oh yea.

  285. Using race, over and over and over.

    You should have heard the Dems barking during the gun control “they deserve a vote” chanting from Teh Won.

  286. well, he does have Teddy Kennedy’s speechwriter now.

  287. I have no idea what you’re talking about, Vmax.

    I’m not watching TFG.

  288. Michigan/MSU and doggehs. I can’t watch TFG. I get Tourette’s.

  289. Thank you for watching that, Jay, so we didn’t have to.

  290. Smithsonian Channel Xbrad Series Mighty Ships, USS Grasp looking for John Paul Jones Bonhomme Richard or however the Frenchy French spell it

  291. Hmm, I think Orrin Hatch just got a hug. Wait for him to sell us out, soon.

  292. Ah, I didn’t know that, Vman. We don’t get NatGeo here.

    When I hear that name, I usually think of the carrier, CVA-31. Or even LHD-6.

  293. Yea
    My Pre interview interview results in a interview in Charlotte NC

  294. The show is over now Xbad so I missed if they found it. The USNS Grasp spent a few years looking for JPJ wooden crank ship the Bonhomme Richard.

    My spelling may be off of course.

  295. Of course it is not Nat Geo Xbad.

    It is Smithsonian Channel, Mighty Ships.

  296. Do I own it yet?

  297. Vman, do you have to make your own arrangements for the NC interview?

  298. I don’t get that either, Vman.

    But the BhR was a tired old ship when JPJ fought HMS Serapis.

    Good luck with NC!!

  299. How does this idiot say, out loud, that he hasn’t added a dime to the debt?

    It’s an interesting tactic that the dems are taking, just keep saying there is no debt problem, there is no spending problem and cover Obama’s sorry ass for another 4 years.

  300. just getting home and catching up –

    did you californicators finally kill the ex-cop cum cop killer?

    if so, you’re a bunch of racist, hood wearing, lynching, hating motherfuckers….

  301. They just pulled his smoking remains from the ashes.

  302. No Oso. I need to call back but the company is my last choice. However I naturally do what they require, I chafe at making the requirements above normal.

    However working 45 hours a week and billing 80 hours before taking vacation is normal. But not required where this company is.

  303. Mare, we don’t have a “Spending” problem. We have a “Greed” problem. Rich people don’t want to pay their “Fair” share. MFM, TFG, and Botox say so.

  304. i can see tomorrows headline:

    “Burning Cross on Front Lawn Ends Dorner’s Protest”

  305. I have an idea. Why don’t we raise the minimum wage to $200? That way, everyone will be 1%, instead of only 1% being 1%.

    I is a genius!

  306. WTF is Reserve Best in Show? They have dick pics of the winner?

  307. Rush has been saying that for years, Tushar.

  308. Blow torch.

    Just sayin

  309. Heh, Jay!

    I swear I did not copy that from Rush. I don’t listen to him. I agree with everything he says anyway. What is the point in listening?

  310. Btw, why are you people listening to that bloodsucking leech? He just spews the same slime in every speech.

  311. teriyaki beef jerky, grilled pork chops, and beer – the dinner of champions –

  312. He had new stuff in this one. Gun control!

    But equal pay for women, climate change, balanced approach, and money for bridges all made an appearance!

  313. How does this idiot say, out loud, that he hasn’t added a dime to the debt?

    Clinton balanced the budget.

    Remember when they said that? Yeah, they were lying, but lots of people believed it, & that’s all it took.

  314. Don’t forget voter’s rights!

  315. WTF????!!! I missed the SOTU address? For the 23rd year in a row?


    They’re all just about a bunch of theater, doesn’t matter if it’s TOTUS ro a real president.

  316. Oso, turnip = watch? My dad says all the old coal miners called watches turnips.

  317. Grandpa Simpson reference. I never thought it had historical relevance. I just thought they were making fun of old people.

  318. I thought Grandpa said they wore an onion on their belt.

  319. http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0701151/quotes

  320. Wow. Grandpa Simpson kills threads.

  321. All this time I thought he said “turnip”. Meh. Turnip is funnier than onion.

  322. **takes off pants**

    **gets comfy**

  323. I watched as much as I could. TFG can kid my ads.

  324. Can I get you an appetizer, Car in? Our special tonight is pizza rolls.

  325. Kiss my ass.

    My kindle can kiss my as too for correcting me.

  326. Our best app is a mussel dealio. Yummy.

  327. Friend of my folks runs a mussel farm.

    I’m not bringing you any fucking mussels.

    You want the pizza rolls or not, lady?

  328. **pulls out vibratorr…….eyeballs a nekkid xbrad**

    Pretty fucking risque for a Tuesday night you gotta admit.

  329. We also have calimari.

  330. What the fuck is that shit in the header pic? Besides undercooked bacon I mean.

  331. Tomorrow is a day of fasting and abstinence. I’ll take some pizza rolls. Dan thinks I need to give up Sriracha for Lent. Mmmm…Sriracha.

  332. It was a Welsh thing – lots of men came over here to work in the coal mines. Dad is 78 and he heard it when he was a kid.

  333. Cake, bourbon, and bacon. Breakfast of champions.

  334. We also have calimari.

    **points at top line of menu- “NO SUBSTITUTIONS”**

  335. My Welsh antecedents came to the US in the 1700s. I don’t know if they could sing. I do know that several of them were killed by Indians in Ohio in the early 1800s.

  336. Oso, same with my Swiss ones who also came over here in 1722 – killed by Indians in PA. These are also Russ’s ancestors too.

  337. Very cool, Lippy. My Dad’s family, for the most part, was in VA by 1615. OH by 1790s. A few stragglers in MD. You and Russ are familia? 6 degrees of separation familia?

  338. The plate in the header pic looks like knock off Fiesta Ware.

  339. Mmmmm….lead.

  340. Ohio so early?! Wow, they really were in the wild wild west.

    B-rad, I have been laughing at your LL Cool J line all day. Even emailed it to the hubbster.

  341. I’m glad you like that, Lippy, but I stole it. I don’t remember where, but some blog showed just how much alike they looked.

  342. Lippy, before I found out that I couldn’t have kids, I was really into genealogy. Now, I’m like “Let the breeders do their own damn research!” Went to a cemetery in OH that had family members for several generations buried there. You could trace American history by their graves. Revolutionary War through WWI. It was pretty cool.

  343. Reads again…1615? Family Bible? Ancestry.com? Wow, very cool.

    The balls it took to do that…

  344. Answered same time I asked, Oso.

    Brad, you swiped it?? Here I was thinking how clever you were.

  345. I was clever enough to swipe it.

  346. Lippy, the key to genealogy is find the President you’re related to and let the professionals take over. In my case, it was Truman. My family owned a plantation that is now Quantico. They took property in OH in lieu of payment for fighting in the Revolution. My dad joining the Navy, was pretty much the first time a family member left OH in 200+ years.

  347. Hmmm, well you said something else kind of funny around the same time, but I feel so hornswaggled. Polecat.

  348. Hornswaggled?

    What? Did you subscribe to “word a day?”

  349. Thanks, Oso, I don’t know if we’re related to a president but that’s good advise.

    B -rad I use the Hillbilly Directery.

  350. Western PA was good for the Whiskey Rebellion. I can get my NM family to the 1850s, but then it becomes work. In Spanish. I’m trying to get a few cousins to run for office and let some professionals do the job. I refuse to pay for library time at the Hispanic Cultural Center.

  351. G’night.

  352. Me too, goodnight. Sleep tight westcoasters.

  353. Quitters.

  354. I’ve cried so many times and that’s no lie
    It seems to make you derp each time I cry

  355. Good morning fellow Americans. After the flames rose on Dorner’s cabin I headed to bed and thus avoided any news coverage of SCOAMF giving his SOTU. It was blissful. I suppose when I read the news and listen to radio today I’ll get hit with it but it was a good 9 hours anyway.

  356. >>Former Army staff sergeant Clint Romesha, who was awarded the Medal of Honor at the White House on Monday, has declined the first lady’s invitation to sit in her box on Tuesday night during the State of the Union address

    Yeah. I wouldn’t want anything to do with her box either.

  357. Good for him. Obviously not falling for the propaganda that Moochelle is a kind, beautiful woman offered by the MFM.

  358. When did wives and children start showing up for state occasions anyway? I get the dinners and what not, but why show up for work?

  359. Not sure when that happened or began to get more common. For crying out loud, the kids should be in bed at that time anyway.

    Just watched the tribute to movie strippers on the ONT. Good looking women, a few good dancers and, sadly, clothes. Video accompanied by Def Leppard “Pour some sugar on me” of course.

  360. Off to work, office all day. Lots of new visits of kids with broken bones. It’s always interesting to hear how they happened. As long as kids do stupid things and try to violate the laws of physics I will remain busy.

  361. Jimbro, when my wife’s elder bro was a kid, he put an eraser in his ear. When the doc asked how he managed to do that, he proudly explained how it won’t go in and he had to push it in with a pencil.

    He is a surgeon now.

  362. Ha!

    Kid my ads!

  363. This stinky old poat is still here?
    Never mind I need coffee

  364. HAHAHA…..Lena went way out of her league (anything above a loser) and it’s so implausible that people are talking:


  365. I sincerely wish this would get around, I’ve never bought into the rewritten “Bill Clinton was wonderful on the economy” crap. They should have hammered Frank too.


  366. Kids my ads, Scott.

    Then wakey wakey.

    I hate it when my kindle corrects me. You guys can usually figure out my regular typos.

  367. What is that pictured in the header? I agree with PD, it looks like undercooked bacon and brick of cream cheese with something in it.

  368. I’m looking forward to HHD.

    I saw Paul Bettaney on a show yesterday and it made me think of you Carin. He’s a sexy ginger.

  369. The fact is that someone of Lena Durham’s looks and size could get laid quite often, but it would be of the one night stand variety, and rather than empowering it would leave her very empty. She’d understand that guys are using her, but don’t commit because of her looks. Especially rich, handsome older dudes.

    But reality isn’t exactly what the left traffics in these days.

  370. HHD poat is up!

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