Two women were out for a Saturday stroll. One had a Doberman and the other, a Chihuahua. As they walked down the street, the one with the Doberman said to her friend, “Let’s go over to that bar for a drink.”
The lady with the Chihuahua said, “We can’t go in there. We’ve got dogs with us.”
The one with the Doberman said, “Just watch, and do as I do.”
They walked over to the bar and the one with the Doberman put on a pair of dark glasses and started to walk in.
The bouncer at the door said, “Sorry, lady, no pets allowed.”
The woman with the Doberman said, “You don’t understand. This is my seeing-eye dog.”
The bouncer said, “A Doberman?”
The woman said, “Yes, they’re using them now. They’re very good.”
The bouncer said, “OK, come on in.”
The lady with the Chihuahua thought that convincing him that a Chihuahua was a seeing-eye dog may be a bit more difficult, but thought,”What the heck,” so she put on her dark glasses and started to walk in.
Once again the bouncer said, “Sorry, lady, no pets allowed.”
The woman said, “You don’t understand. This is my seeing-eye dog.”
The bouncer said, “A Chihuahua?”
The woman with the Chihuahua said…………………………
.
.
.
“A Chihuahua? They gave me a f…..g Chihuahua?!”
A Love Story
Max & Arlene lived by a lake in Northern Minnesota. It was early winter and the lake had frozen over.
Max asked Arlene if she would walk across the frozen lake to the general store to get him some beer. She asked him for some money, but he told her “no, just put it on our tab”. So Arlene walked across, got the beer at the general store, then walked back home across the lake. When she got home and gave Max his beer, she asked him, “Max, you always tell me not to run up the tab at the store. Why didn’t you just give me some money?”.
Max replied, “Well, I didn’t want to send you out there with some money when I wasn’t sure how thick the ice was yet”
A man was washed up on a beach after a shipwreck. Only a sheep and a sheepdog were washed up with him. After looking around, he realized they were stranded on a deserted island.
After being there awhile, he got into the habit of taking his two animal companions to the beach every evening to watch the sunset. One particular evening, the sky was a fiery red with beautiful cirrus clouds. The breeze was warm and gentle – a perfect night for romance.
As they sat there, the sheep started looking better and better to the lonely man. Soon, he leaned over to the sheep and put his arm around it.
But the sheepdog, ever protective of the sheep, growled fiercely until the man took his arm from around the sheep. After that, the three of them continued to enjoy the sunsets together, but there was no more cuddling.
A few weeks passed by and lo and behold, there was another shipwreck. The only survivor was Nancy Pelosi. That evening, the man brought Nancy to the evening beach ritual. It was another beautiful evening – red sky, cirrus clouds, a warm and gentle breeze. Perfect for a night of romance. Pretty soon, the man started to get those “feelings” again. He fought the urges as long as he could but he finally gave in and leaned over to Nancy and told her he hadn’t had sex for months.
Nancy batted her eyelashes and asked if there was anything she could do for him.
He said, “take the dog for a walk.”
Have a happy Thursday!
379 Comments
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I crack myself up.
Huh?
I’ve heard that last one, but with Hillary. I think it was in the 90s.
Well then you should have poated it in the 90s, smart guy.
wasn’t MJ in high school in the 90’s?
Heh.
You get a SS package yet, MJ?
*rattles ice in empty glass after making eye contact*
MJ probably just can ‘t see all the way into his mailbox. Maybe it’s there, but way in the back?
What no one has said yet about publishing the names of the permit holders in NY is that statistically people who apply for permits are the people who commit the fewest crimes.
Police officers commit more crimes than CCW holders Doctors commit more crime.
Think about that for a moment. Isn’t it rather absurd that the left is so afraid of law abiding people?
The left is idiotic.
The internet barely existed when I left for college. I was one of the only people to have a computer, and I remember having to use winsock to connect to whatever it was called at the time.
The kid a few rooms down may have been one of the first people punked by a girl. He was maybe 5 feet tall (a giant), had hair down to his ass, and a really long goatee. Metal dude. He would spend all night downloading porn pictures.
He ended up meeting a girl on a metal site and asked her to come out to the college. Turns out she was in her 50s.
He did it anyway.
$20
so that was like 1999?
You get a SS package yet, MJ?
———————–
I did and it is an awesome gift! Aside from being funny and true, it’s totally useful. I have to stick gels, keys, and stuff in weird places because almost no one makes running shorts with pockets. Even so, the stuff bounces around.
Plus, this will hold my bong for those extra long runs.
http://is.gd/gTXSdJ
I think it was 93, assface.
Let’s declare today “Pick On MJ” day.
I’m bored.
HA! Mj said assface, a personal favorite!
Plus, this will hold my bong for those extra long runs.
http://is.gd/gTXSdJ
I had one of those.
I “lost” it.
MJ, please send me a picture of yours, just in case I’m interested in possible prosecution of Pupster.
I have to stick gels, keys, and stuff in weird places
Now you will have more room for the bullwhip.
Let’s declare today “Pick On MJ” day.
——————–
That would be fun. I’ll go first.
Boy, that guy MJ is tall, dark, and handsome.
MJ’s Hippie Runner was new. I considered sending him yours, but it stank of slow-paced vibrams. I use it on the dog to hold the poop bag.
You suck at this game, MJ.
Boy, that guy MJ is tall, dark, and handsome.
Smart, too.
Now you will have more room for the bullwhip.
———————————–
My last doctor visit:
http://is.gd/aadkN6
I considered sending him yours, but it stank of slow-paced vibrams. I use it on the dog to hold the poop bag.
As long as it’s being used for something, I guess I shouldn’t complain.
I’m not clicking on MJ’s link.
FWIW.
heh heh heh
Are we done playing for the day?
Guess it’s time to clean the chicken coop.
BOO HISS.
Wow, you sure are demanding today, Car in.
NbQuitter: has anyone welcomed you?
Who are you and what are you doing here?
Do you like candy?
Not really, LONG TIME LURKER and I am here picking on you today apparently and nose candy is good
Not really, LONG TIME LURKER and I am here picking on you today apparently and nose candy is good
————————————
I don’t understand lurking. Why not jump in the pool? Sure, it’s filled with used needles and pee, but what isn’t these days?
And thanks for the SS gift, pupster. It’s super cool.
http://is.gd/ZQFmjj
Some people just like to see us make jackasses out of ourselves, I guess.
My chickens are getting some scraps from the standing rib roast today. The next few dozen eggs are gonna be amazing.
You are welcome, MJ, sorry it was late.
Yeah, I’m boggled at the idea that this blog has lurkers. Stalkers I could understand. Lurkers? Weirdoze.
Good news: My brakes are still good at 155,000 miles.
Bad news: They need to keep the van overnight for any chance of successfully removing the bad glow plug.
Who are you and what are you doing here?
Do you like candy?
Do NOT get into MJ’s van.
shudders
Xbrad fell for it. Says it was the worst 45 seconds of his life.
Scott’s van glow plug is code.
I don’t even know what that means.
What was it Scottw kept calling the Pupster Van we drove to Lapeerpalooza?
Molestermobile?
Are they watching your van overnight for any sign of post surgical glow plug removal trauma?
My landlord just plowed the parking lot, finally. And left a halfass fucking mess.
How much snow did you get, laura?
Seriously.
“Zots!” hardly count as free candy.
Good morning, cool kids.
“Plowed the parking lot” is code as well.
SMOD is running late
http://www.independent.co.uk/news/science/brighter-than-a-full-moon-the-biggest-star-of-2013-could-be-ison–the-comet-of-the-century-8431443.html
The surface will shift as the ice responds to the thermal shock, cracks will appear in the crust, tiny puffs of gas will rise from it as it is warmed. The comet’s tail is forming.
Slowly at first but with increasing vigour, as it passes the orbit of Earth, the gas and dust geysers will gather force. The space around the comet becomes brilliant as the ice below the surface turns into gas and erupts, reflecting the light of the Sun.
hawt!
I saw it snowing but apparently we didn’t get any snow, Jay. We got five inches of heavy slush….
Didnt it rain after the snow?
It’s rainsnowsleeting in Manhattan right now. Good times.
Yeah, it was a wet mix.
Oh look, he’s back. Maybe this time he’ll finish plowing so everybody doesn’t have to have soaking wet shoes by the time they get to my door.
You are welcome, MJ, sorry it was late.
————————
Not a worry. I’m more surprised that you signed the card, ‘Merry Christmas Dickface.’
Why address a card to yourself???
Still snowing here. Whee!
Yeah, I thought that was what happened Laura. What a mess I’ll bet
Snowing in Maine too
(That statement is valid for the next 4 months)
also OMFG I LOVE THESE TABASCO SLIM JIMS!!111!!1!1
Wet heavy heart attack snow
I know! It was easier for me to push this snow away from my entrance than to shovel it up. I couldn’t pick up the shovel a couple of times. Stuff is like lead.
56 today. Cold as a witches tit, whatever that means.
Sunshine, sunshine, sunshine. It will drive you crazy.
It was about 25° (that’s real degrees, not your fancy French bullshit degrees) when I shoveled the 100′ (0.000000000000000987789527 parsecs) of sidewalk & two (3 in metric) flights of stairs. I was wearing a t-shirt & slacks, & I almost died of heat stroke.
*emails little packets of sunshine to everyone except MJ and Vman*
Hi Cyn. Cod you see we had a long time lurker delurk? Pretty funny actually.
Howdy. Did I miss any good hosefucking?
Sun’s shining here, it’s just snowy. Not even really all that cold. Low 30s or so.
But work’s internet has been busted all morning, and that really sucks.
Jew!!!!1111eleven
JEWSTIN!!!!!!!
C’mere so I can hug you and then wop the crap outta you!!
Hi MJ.
*almost makes effort to link Lollipop Holly; drinks more coffee instead*
Jewstin is alive!
*blows small plastic party bugle*
*confetti falls everywhere*
I’m alive. I got a spiffy new job, but I work from 5:00 a.m. to 3:30 p.m.
I just finished my 90 day probation and got a permanent, spiffy, new job last week.
CONGRATULATIONS, JEWSTIN!!!!
*buys Jewstin a new shirt*
It’s sunny here too and a bit warmer, 40s today later.
HI JEWSTIN
*makes a slushball and looks at Laura real funny, starts giggling for some reason*
That’s good news! One thing about this recession that blows my mind is the amount of jobs still remaining unfilled.
It’s almost like, some large group of people are being disincentivized from looking for work…
I’m a builder making industrial kitchen appliances. Thecompany is always begging for people, but as far as I can tell they only apply to satisfy the requirements for staying on the dole.
We don’t know that this is really Jewstin. Could be an impersonator.
In any event, I’m glad that the potential impersonator has a new job.
Good to hear from you. Merry Christmas, Jew.
*whacks you with a rolling pin for good measure*
*aims flamethrower at Dave, also giggling*
That sounds great, Jewstin. We are living in scary times but people like you who show some hustle will always git ‘er done.
*lights my thermonuclear grenade, giggles become maniacal*
Yay, Jewstin is back! And with a job, too!
Vmax is next. He’s getting a job, I just know it.
*aims flamethrower at Dave, also giggling*
*lights my thermonuclear grenade, giggles become maniacal*
This business will get out of control. It will get out of control and we’ll be lucky to live through it.
Heh, sounds like jewstin will be running his own division soon.
Good day, joke crackers and crack smokers.
HI JEWSTIN!
I’m glad you checked in, we were worried about you.
Well, Mare wasn’t, but the rest of us were worried sick.
Except for Wiserbud, he doesn’t give a shit.
But everyone else, worried.
So, we’ve got Mare, not worried.
Wiserbud, doesn’t give a shit.
Everybody else, glad you are back.
I knew he’d be back. He can’t quit us.
*acoustic guitar music*
Jewstin’s been gone?
Ever see Mare and Jewstin together?
Hah! Trick question. Mare is a figment of my imagination. I think Sohos met Jewstin, but she’s not talking to us anymore.
Well that’s interesting. Under the Assault Weapons Ban™ that will be introduced by Diane Feinstein, my Glock will need to be registered with the ATF. Uh, sure.
Good luck passing this, and thanks for making sure that every D senator from a red state breaks with the effete, urban party leaders.
Summary here: http://is.gd/tuH7mj
Looks like MJ is about to have a tragic boating accident, losing all his weapons.
Actually I think Warner from VA and Manchin from WV will vote for the laws, thereby making their reelections a little harder. They will probably win again, though, since people are stupid and have no memory.
MJ’s got talent
http://www.youtube.com/watch?feature=player_embedded&v=_viuM_sEOOU#!
From Feinstein’s bill:
Exempting antique, manually-operated, and permanently disabled weapons
Aren’t all rifles and pistols manually operated?
I think Manchin backed off, J’Ames. I could be wrong, though.
Heh, let me know how this works out for you, Diane:
Requires that grandfathered weapons be registered under the National Firearms Act, to include:
Background check of owner and any transferee;
Type and serial number of the firearm;
Positive identification, including photograph and fingerprint;
Certification from local law enforcement of identity and that possession would not violate State or local law; and
Dedicated funding for ATF to implement registration
There’s no way I can see anyone with any sense registering.
Warner maybe, Manchin seems like he might really be on the right side of the 2A.
My congresscritter in Ann Arbor (Dingell) had the same split. Wrong on everything but guns.
Mrs MJ wants a shotgun. Mostly so she can rack it and feel cool.
I hadn’t seen that, aggie. He and Warner were pretty wobbly, after the press heard that the NRA liked them.
Manchin shot Cap and Trade in a commercial for crissakes. It actually leads with him stating he’ll protect 2nd Amendment rights.
He’s a little slow, but I doubt he’ll vote for gun control.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=xIJORBRpOPM
J’Ames, Machin wrote this op-ed:
http://www.washingtonpost.com/opinions/sen-joe-manchin-between-obama-and-the-nra-another-path-to-stopping-mass-violence/2012/12/21/181d4e94-4adc-11e2-9a42-d1ce6d0ed278_story_2.html
Seems to me he saw the writing on the wall.
Add in Tester from Montana, and I don’t see Feinstein getting the votes.
Thanks aggie!
Kilt it with gun control. Fitting.
HAHAHAHAHAHA!!!
*sets claymores in the perimeter*
lessee, this side tow-
*hands Dave some band-aids*
*strolls by, casually, and pulls a string, which casually releases 1.7 million marbles; casually*
Thanks Aggie. Could you hand me my leg too please?
Cyn, no more touchy string thingy
This guy on FNC keeps talking about a ‘vibrational effect’ to this fiscal cliff.
I’ve signed up for his newsletter.
YOU’RE A SIDE TOW-!
*yanks Dave’s string thingy*
http://is.gd/1jgAHv
fuuuuuuuuuuuuu
I found an honest mechanic!
SCOTT!!! SCOTT!!!! Wake up!! You’re having some kind of a weird nightmare.
That’s how they get you, Scott. They always tell the truth in the beginning.
He is saving me lots of money.
He’s from Texas, a conservative, and he gave me a ride home because cabs are a ripoff.
I think Scott has a fever. Delusional.
Comment by MJ on December 27, 2012 1:34 pm
Mrs MJ wants a shotgun. Mostly so she can rack it and feel cool.
=========
Be sure to send pics of Mrs. MJs rack……………..
Seems legit, Scott 😀
Ok, Jan 1- 6th, the fees for the Free Press Marathon (and half) and mucho cheaper.
I’m gonna sign up early this year.
Half is 50, and the full is only 15 dollars more. That’s an extra 13 miles for 15 bucks.
How can I say no?
*thinks MJ and wife should join me
Scooo-ooott…
…wake ♫uUUU-uup♪…
*glances at Leon and shakes head*
Poor dear… this is a deep one.
It makes sense. I was bringing it to mechanics who were trained by Dodge. They only repaired things the Dodge way. 2 dealers looked at this repair and both came back with estimates of over $2000.
This guy researches the problem, and finds that other mechanics have figured out a way to drill out the glow plug without filling the engine with shards of metal. He will fix it for $300.
Parts are about half of what the dealers charged too.
*quietly scurries off, giggling silently; comes back with a bowl of warm water*
Hey Jewstin, figured you were either incarcerated, or answered an ad for an overseas “modeling” gig and became the love slave of an Arab sheik. Glad you’re back, please put $20 in the meat up fund, everybody else did while you were gone.
How can I say no?
————————
Like this: No flippin’ way.
Mrs MJ and I are going to do a few half marathons and I’m going to work my way up to an olympic distance tri this year.
After the last half, we both concluded that running another one—right then and there—was too much right now.
way to drill out the glow plug without filling the engine with shards of metal. He will fix it for $300.
Parts are about half of what the dealers charged too
*cries
It’s too late Cyn. He’s a goner.
I’m prolly gonna just do the half, but now mostly because I’ve got a few girls from work who said they would sign up – right at the beginning of the year.
The race isn’t until Oct, so they’ll have plenty of time to get into shape.
So essited.
I want to do the Olympic distance tri in June. This is the one I want to do:
http://www.trifind.com/re_69429/BigFishTriathlonDuathlon.html
It’s only a few miles from my house, and supposed to be really nice.
Of course, you and your wife couldn’t POSSIBLY come to Lapeer.
Mare-J.
Killed it with running talk?
Haters.
Hey, Scoot may be okay. I had a driveshaft support bearing go out last year. Factory replacement was $295 for just the part. I found a replacement part for $40 shipped.
On diesel trucks, the dealerships were charging $250 for an engine block heater. Thing is, all the trucks came with an engine block heater, the dealerships were just selling a $6 cord to plug it in. Ripoff!!
Killed it with running talk?
Haters.
Haters gonna
haterelax and not have sore legs.The dealers also told me I needed to replace the power steering assembly. That was also going to be close to $2000. An independent told me that the factory settings were crap and slotted a strut. Fixed for under $100.
I am never going back to a dealer.
So, you found 2 honest mechanics?
Dealers hire kids, pay them $12 to $18 an hour, and then charge $120/hr for labor. That’s a hell of a markup.
Pupster, the other guy was just a good alignment guy with a lot of experience. A dealership would never slot a strut.
All dealers use repair guidelines from the OEM. It’s a fixed process, with fixed labor hour rates. If the book says “these parts, this way, 2 hours” then that’s what they do, they never deviate from it. If it takes an hour, the book says 2, you get charged for 2.
Having a good mechanic you can trust can save you $ and time.
Warranty work is a goldmine to a dealership, they do the repairs for you and get to bill the manufacturer using the same book.
Most smart dealerships know they can make a ton of revenue with a well run repair shop, and sell cars for a couple hundred over actual cost.
Always helps to have a case of beer in the trunk just to be on the safe side.
Until you go in with an electrical problem. They get burned by some of those.
I also noticed that the independent guy only replaces the exact part that is broken. Dealers replace units or assemblies.
RIP Fontella.
http://www.stltoday.com/entertainment/music/st-louis-singer-fontella-bass-known-for-rescue-me-dies/article_522424e5-84fa-5451-843b-bfe88651ff85.html
I used to have a mechanic that would do most repairs for parts and a case of beer. 2 cases if he hurt himself.
YAY! New cable modem activated. . . and SCREAMING fast!
I took my old corolla to a dealer because the engine was vibrating (a foundation bolt had come loose after 7 years on NJ roads, but I did not know that at the time). The dealer said the car was extremely dangerous to drive and tried to pressure me into buying a new car. I asked him to let me drive it away and let me get it fixed elsewhere. He asked me to sign a release saying he is not responsible for my eventual death. I agreed, but he did not produce the relevant documents. I went to some other shop, got it fixed and used it for two more years before the wife decided to occupy a portion of the road that was already occupied by another car.
Toyota makes good cars, but their dealers are no better than other dealers.
Huh. I never knew her name.
She sure knew yours
It’s one of those names I knew and I forgot, and then remembered again. Pretty much a one-hit wonder
Love that song.
Well, the trashmen finally came. . . a day late!
Was that song used in Animal House?
Scrooge, they got a day off for Christmas.
That’s some good Bass.
That’s some good Bass.
http://tinyurl.com/cdkon3e
I don’t remember it in Animal House.
Let’s ask Wiserbud when he gets back from the record store.
Let’s ask Wiserbud when he gets back from the record store.
I wonder if they’ve gotten any new records there I’d like?
I always thought that was Aretha Franklin.
This is what messed me up
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=3Gnglp0rw4A
It was Aretha, but it wasn’t Blues Brothers.
I don’t think DG has mastered the object of the game yet!
http://flic.kr/p/dES7AC
Aretha did “You Better Think” in the Blues Brothers
Mrs. Murphy: May I help you boys?
Elwood: You got any white bread?
Mrs. Murphy: Yes.
Elwood: I’ll have some toasted white bread please.
Mrs. Murphy: You want butter or jam on that toast, honey?
Elwood: No ma’am, dry.
[Mrs. Murphy gives him a look, then turns to Jake]
Jake: Got any fried chicken?
Mrs. Murphy: Best damn chicken in the state.
Jake: Bring me four fried chickens and a Coke.
Mrs. Murphy: You want chicken wings or chicken legs?
Jake: Four fried chickens and a Coke.
Elwood: And some dry white toast please.
Mrs. Murphy: Y’all want anything to drink with that?
Elwood: No ma’am.
Jake: A Coke.
Mrs. Murphy: Be up in a minute
Yep. I think that scene is what secured the Oscar for Matt Murphy.
We’re gettin the band back together.
Took my B-I-L a helluva long time to get back to NYC from Indianapolis.
Does the band need a clarinet?
Don’t even think about Wiser. He sucks.
Women are the worst bitches in parking lots. Ever.
>> Women are the worst bitches in parking lots. Ever.
Never saw two dudes get into it over a parking space.
The ladies, on the other hand…
Never saw two dudes get into it over a parking space.
Neither have I. On the other hand, I have seen dudes get into it over a bar stool.
Those are way more important.
>> I have seen dudes get into it over a bar stool.
A lot depends on what’s parked on the bar stool, heh.
Yeah, women are weird. & they got all them bumps stickin’ out in places. & the pink stuff. Wow, I’m just . . . oh man, I’ll be back in about 15 min.
I must keep reminding myself of this.
I don’t mind walking in parking lots. But them I also pay people to let me run long distances.
I will let you run for half of what everyone else charges you.
Half? Hell, I’ll let you run if you just mow my yard. In swimwear
Dave’s emerald green thong does not count as “swimwear.”
Dave, this is perfect weather for the spa.
You want it to be cold, but not too cold, and no wind which makes getting in and out really unpleasant.
You want real danger? Try being a pedestrian in NM.
I know. I like the clouds of steam.
Right now, wind speed is only 8mph from the SSE.
Scott, you have to provide gator aid every mile. Chocolate milk at the end.
Jewstin!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Nancy Pelosi gave a gator AIDS once.
Hmm, haven’t heard the chocolate milk one.
I like chocolate milk, but I’m sure as hell not running anywhere for it!
SMOD Drive-by on Feb 15, 2013…
http://tinyurl.com/cmjlsdj
Seriously. Run 13 miles and they give you all the chocolate
Milk you want.
It’s a sweet gig.
Jewstin’s captors only gave him a small window of H2 time.
I miss chocolate milk. Not enough to run for it.
A customer just recognized me at the grocery store. I think I have a restaurant groupie.
/shuns Oso for her lack of dedication to chocolate milk.
Chocolate milk goes well with Amaretto.
So, are you really paying to run, or just way overpaying for chocolate milk?
I used to steal the penny from my dad to get the chocolate milk fix in elementary school. 5 days a week of theft. My Saturday confession was pretty boring for years. One out of 10 baby!!!!
I used to swindle $1.62 from my friends so I could buy chewing tobacco at the trading post.
Jewstin!! Where the hell are you?
Which was criminal now that I think about it. When I went to town it only cost $1.02 at the gas station.
And what kind of job do you have Jewston?
I’m still in Cheyenne, MCPO. Gainfully employed and thoroughly enjoying my new job.
I’m a builder at a factory. I make industrial kitchen appliances.
Stormin’ Norman Schwarzkopf has passed.
Evenin’, los mofos.
I’m on Joey Choo-choo’s Amtrak, heading back to Boston. Thanks for the subsidy, suckas!
*looks in mirror*
Oh. Shit!
Jewstin – Can ya hook me up with a really good gas range? 😉
The left is criticizing Boner for vacationing in Westchester, OH, while Obama, being the adult, has returned from Hawaii.
They could work at a dealership selling chocolate milk after a race that cost $50.
Not only that, MCPO, I can get you a proofing cabinet for your bread-making.
Or, for an all-in-one solution, we also make these:
http://tinyurl.com/cvye5fl
Phat, Fort Collins is close to Cheyenne. Moron meat up!!!! MFM sucks. Really? D-rat Senators aren’t the hold up but GOPers in the House are? Send a bill every day. Each one with more spending cuts. Eventually, even the Progs will have to cover.
Just what I need! A field kitchen in the Hobbit Hole!
MCPO, you’d also need the three pack of immersion heaters to clean the mess kits.
Umm, yeah. This “fiscal cliff” isn’t exactly a natural feature of the landscape that we just happened upon.
It’s a result of Boehner and McConnell’s last great victory over the Dems. One more like that surely will kill us.
Lanzas AR was left in the fricken’ car! He had 4 pistols in the school.That’s all!
Ban This!
ChrisPy – You’re surprised?
Chrispy, don’t bet the farm on that link. I’ve seen conflicting reports, mostly the coroner saying the wounds were all from “the long gun.”
http://tinyurl.com/bnusnpn
Field ranges are pretty fun to build. Mess kits not so much. I had to deburr and polish 1800 handles for those fucking things.
YOU DON’T NEED NO STINKING MESS KITS! USE YOUR HELMET!
Actually, I never did use my mess kit. We always ate off puke green paper plates.
Adam Lanza was on Flight 93.
“Today we will spend our morning shining the handles on our mess kits. That will make the Quartermaster happy!”
Actually, I never did use my mess kit. We always ate off puke green paper plates.
I spent two days standing over a grinder set on a table built for a midget and you used a plate?!
*Bashes Xbrad in the face with a mess kit.
*Steals his jenkem.
My last mess kit was made by Federal Prison Industries.
Is there something you wanna tell us, Mr. Face Bashing Violent Guy?
Did anybody discover that anybody else was once in a Christmas-themed porno movie today?
I didn’t know we made mess kits for prisoners. I would have thought heaps of soft, ensharpable aluminum would be considered a big no-no for felons.
Did anybody discover that anybody else was once in a Christmas-themed porno movie today?
Uhh. . . Did said porno have to be recorded on film?
Christmas themed? No.
Now that he has passed, I can tell you a little story about General Schwarzkopf. As many of you may have guessed, “Stormin’ Norman” had a temper. His COS assigned one of the aides to have on him, at all times, 3 pairs of the General’s reading glasses. The General was in the habit of throwing his glasses across the room to display his displeasure. The COS swore to me that they went through 20 pairs during Desert Shield/Desert Storm.
Awesome story, MCPO! Passion shows in many ways.
Xbrad,
The coroner fancies himself “Quincy M.D.”, and is a camera whore. He spent a lot of time telling the interested
journalistsGhouls about how” those evil AR bullets were designed to stay inside those tiny bodies to do maximum tissue damage.”The guy is an ass-clown of the first order…
Chief,
No, I’m not surprised. They had to suppress this until the serious momentum was built-up by the media and the Democrats(BIRM) to ban those “Evil Black Rifles”.
They have, indeed, done just that. Look at the evil Bitch Feinsteim, showboating, as she holds-up an EBR, that is illegal for her to have in D.C.
http://tinyurl.com/clpt5jk
Bastards! This may drive me to consume “Mass Quantities”, though I hope not…
Jewstin! Glad you came home for Christmas!
>> Lanzas AR was left in the fricken’ car! He had 4 pistols in the school.That’s all!
DO NOT run with that. Cub reporterette Katie Pavlich got her ass handed to her when she regurgitated that claim today.
http://tinyurl.com/c372do6
Of course, Some Guy On YouTube can’t be wrong, so there’s that …
Aw, Mare-y Chrimmas, Puppeh!
Cub reporterette Katie Pavlich got her ass handed to her
That would be a nice job to have.
http://tinyurl.com/c372do6
So Mare ate the big tree in the parlor and is saving room for the family tree in the den?
http://dpaf.tumblr.com/post/38906104571
Andy,
That was NBC NEWS. Pete Williams, NOT a rookie…
Pete Williams, NOT a rookie…
It would take a real ass to bring up Dan Rather at this point. Hey, Andy! Point Chrispy at Dan Rather.
If it made it to Nightly News, I would think it had been vetted.
What’s the frequency, Jewstin?
“Cub reporterette Katie Pavlich got her ass handed to her
That would be a nice job to have.”
Pupster! Bad Dog!
Thanks, Roamy, and everybody. I’ve missed you all. Things are coming together for me, and I’m glad I wasn’t absent longer than I was.
So glad about the Jewstin check in. God Bless Us, everybody.
Oh FFS. The early (and current) reporting on this thing was awful. AWFUL.
You can’t just pick and choose the pieces you like and say they were correct. And that’s what doofus Pavlich did earlier today … recycled an old, erroneous report.
See also: http://www.goodreads.com/quotes/65213-briefly-stated-the-gell-mann-amnesia-effect-is-as-follows-you
What’s the frequency, Jewstin?
Of news reporters getting it wrong (either willfully or ignorantly)? I would say it’s quite high. Trust but verify.
Great, Jewstin!
(depending upon the vagaries of Amtrak wi-fi, this comment may or may not post in the next 12 hours. Or ever.)
That clip aired on the 17th. Gee, first reports on a tragedy all fucked up? NO WAY?!
Still waiting for comprehensive reporting on Benghazi.
Did you save up enough money to buy a shirt while you were gone, Jewstin?
Pretty much everything reported in the first twelve hours of the Sandy Hook story was wrong, including fingering Adams brother as the perp.
It’s not the first twelve hours anymore, or even the first 48.
I suppose, depending on the medias agenda, we’ll never really know what happened, only what they want us to believe happened. It’s kinda sad that we don’t have “NEWS” anymore, only the PR-wing of the “D” Party.
It was a nice country while it lasted…
No, Shawm, but I did steal a shirt from a homeless guy. It didn’t have sleeves.
xbrad, you use palemoon, right? Have you been having issues signing in to twitter? I can in IE, but not Palemoon.
Jay, I can’t remember the last time I tried to sign into twitter.
I logged into a disqus thread with twitter this morning no problem, though.
Where’s Mare and her
Tramp StampAss-Antlers?http://tinyurl.com/cs5vpzc
>> It’s not the first twelve hours anymore, or even the first 48.
What was the date of the Pete Williams thing again?
See, here’s how it is — if you eat off of paper plates you are more combat ready because you can jump in your Bradley and start firing without doing the dishes first.
Jay, just signed out, and back in to Twitface on PM, no problems.
12/17, Andy. Didn’t see that when I first watched, mea culpa. Just grabbed-on to something I wanted to hear.
As I said above, we’ll never know what happened, only what they want us to think happened.
Jezze, I miss honest reporting. Where’s “Uncle Walter”, the most trusted name in journalism? Oh, wait…
Lying communist SOB. Never mind.
“And that’s. . . the way it is.”
Then what was the long rifle that the police pulled out of his trunk?
Damnfino, Chief.
Perhaps an umbrella?
Couldn’t have been a Bushmaster.
Wouldn’t fit the narrative…
Huh, it was Do Not Track Plus that was blocking twitter. turned it off, and all is well.
Now to find out if I can get it to work WITH twitter.
May be a shotgun.
*Installs Palemoon*
Looses all firefox stuff.
This sucks
Is Palemoon Firefox without the cruft? Because Firefox has a raging memory leak somewhere and we hates it precious.
Chrome would be okay if it rendered web pages correctly, but it don’t.
I like palemoon, especially since it has 64 bit. It has memory issues too, but not as bad as firefox.
Firefox seems to leak memory so fast that I can play one video, before it’s fubar. And, it has to be a short video…
Presses 1 for English.
Firefox is ‘toopid. I wish krom din’t suxxors.
*Scrambles into hole.
*Pulls hole in behind.
rendered…..leaks…..
They are making soup Oso.
Anyone tried Opera?
JEWSTIN!!
Welcome home, buddy!
Great to hear you’re working and you like it. Really happy for you!
Next time you drop out, tune out, and whatever else stupid hippies do, let someone know!
I’m watching the Baylor game so I’m pretty much out, but take care and hang out here when you’re not manufacturing industrial kitchens!
I tried Opera some ages* past. It was unsatisfactory as a browser, but the development tools were most adequate.
*Ten years in computerland = Get Off My Lawn!
OMG! We just beat the freaking Bearcats!!!
Soup is Saturday. Ham and beans with jalapeño cornbread.
I tried Opera a few years ago. Wasn’t any great improvement over FF for me, so I got rid of it. Who knows where it stands today?
Palemoon looks and feels exactly like FF, but isn’t quite as kludge-y. I try to clear the history every couple hours.
Chrome used to be fast, but now it sux balls. I tried a Chromeclone, Torch, that had a video/media download feature, but it wasn’t very stable.
So for me, on my weak-assed little netbook, Palemoon it is.
Chrome sucks and crashes everyday
>> Anyone tried Opera?
Yeah, but I couldn’t hit the high notes.
**kicks Andy in the balls**
Give it another try, buddy!
NbQ, where is home?
>> [Every new browser since Mosaic, with the exception of IE] used to be fast, but now it sux balls.
FIFY
*reinstalls Lynx*
So, you think we are gonna get a vote on the cliff?
Just in time to improve Obama’s numbers?
I think we will.
After Mosaic, I BOUGHT a license for Netscape! It came on 3.5″ floppies. Things were simpler, then…
Syracuse
Heh, I remember when windows came on 4-6 floppies.
Who is NbQuitter? Have there been delurkers?
GW Basic. Math Blaster.
The snowy part of NY. I don’t know how you folks put up with that stuff. It must be really nice the rest of the year.
I grew up in GA. AL, & NC. I have been in Syracuse for 10 years.
Baylor is kicking ass. 3 point dog scores 35 in the first half.
Still small town mentality and nicer than a lot of southern places
Do you get used to it?
Feels bad about thinking NbQuitter was from Houston.
Wow, Baylor is playing defense.
no
I wont go to that part of the country this time of year. I used to, but then I learned weather forecasts up there don’t mean a thing.
A foot of snow can fall for no reason at all.
Comment by MCPO Airdale on December 27, 2012 10:59 pm
Opera is pretty fucking great on FreeBSD, less so on linux, & I haven’t used it on windows since . . . uh, windows 2000 (I don’t think opera versions after 9.6 work on win2k, but I don’t remember, & I don’t actually care: it’s windows! you’re all fruit cups). That said, twitter’s web page is pretty much all javascript & while opera’s javascript parser is quite good, it doesn’t seem to get along with twitter at all.
I use webkit-based browsers for twitter: xombrero, surf, & sometimes chromium (chrome, if you want google spying on you). Midori is also webkit, & I think Konqueror might be. Does KDE even use konq any more? rekonq? I’m lost.
Where in GA, Nb?
Gray, GA
No shit. I’m from Macon.
% telnet 72.233.2.58 80
My God, it’s full of marshmallow stars!
I left there in 74 and moved to Gulf Shores, then Birmingham
Gray is actually a family name b/c my great grandfather, then grandfather, then Dad lived there and they passed it down and it is also my middle name b/c of that town
XB, my Chrome is still faster than all get out. Could it be some other problem?
I met some Maconites on the Staten Island Ferry today. Nothing like asking some folks “where y’all from?” and having them reply with your hometown.
it is a small world after all
Small world stuff freaks me out.
Might be time to take down our Christmas avatars? I love crotch-grabbing Party Santa. But, that was days ago.
I ran into a girl on twitter who lives one town away. She follows half the people here and her husband was tending bar the night of one of our meet ups.
Only people I talked to the whole time, Scott.
They live about a mile from my parents, too. Weird.
I retired mine today. Till next year.
Baylor put a nice first half ass whuppin on UCLA. We’ll see if it holds up. Also, where has this defense been all season?
Clint, Chrome’s not terribly terrible. Just not as fast as it used to be.
The other thing is, there’s no download widget or tool for it. And I download a shitload of video (and no, not all of it is porn. It took a while to download all 167 episodes of One Tree Hill!)
Palemoon, like FF, supports downloadhelper, so that kinda pushes me to use it. My connection is always so tenuous that to watch any youtube, it’s easier for me to d/l it to the desktop than to sit there and watch it continue to try to load.
The guy across the street from us here worked with my father’s college roommate at Whitewater, WI.
Kilt it?
First person to comment on Tifw’s Rebecca Birthday link at FB went to HS with me. I hate small world stuff. Makes me paranoid.
for some reason, I can’t get FB to open tonight.
Sorry. We are picking on Mcpo.
He probably deserves it.
Whey Oso at?
I vacation in her state and they nuthin biut brown folks here. Whadup w dat shit?
I really can’t stay – Baby it’s derp outside
I’ve got to go away – Baby it’s derp outside
This evening has been – Been hoping that you’d drop in
So very nice – I’ll hold your hands, they’re just like ice
Bleargh. 3:30 happens twice a day even on vacation days. I think that’s pretty shady.
Mornin Jewstin. Got any plans for New Years?
I was thinking of getting a shirt so I’ll have something besides pants to rip off and wave about when I get sozzled.
You are my kind of crazy, Jew.
http://tinyurl.com/ckpfwcf
http://tinyurl.com/cz93s3q
Ugh. The one day this week I don’t have to go anywhere or do anything, I *could* sleep in, but nooooooo.
On the plus side, I have coffee brewing, and it is decent stuff, not the shit that can strip paint I’ve been drinking since Sunday.
I have crappy paint stripping coffee. But it’s hot and fully caffeinated.
I have 8 O’Clock Coffee, original mixed with hazelnut. I buzzed in a tablespoon of unsalted butter and a tablespoon of coconut oil. Trying to encourage ketosis.
This may be the first holiday season wherein I lose weight the whole time.
This may be the first holiday season wherein I lose weight the whole time.
You’re doing it wrong.
I’m being self-indulgent, Jewstin. I got myself abs for Christmas. They should arrive in another week or two.
My Omaha steaks are supposedly going to arrive tomorrow according to FedEx.
Excellent.
Are they good? I think I’ve heard of Omaha steaks for most of my life but never had one.
My sister and brother-in-law raved about them, and they know I’m a carnivore, so I got a gift card from them for Christmas. I’ll let you know after I’ve eaten a couple. I’ve got porterhouses, filet, and a cake I’m not going to eat coming.
Omaha Steaks are good, but I didn’t think they were worth the extra cost. Gift cards are nice. Also, they spam their mailing list.
My SIL got up every morning around 5 AM and made Chock Full O’Nuts coffee. I never got used to the time zone change, so that meant the coffee was usually sitting on the burner for 2 hours.
wakey wakey
Omaha steaks are pretty good for folks that live away from cows.
And there’s nothing wrong with paint stripper coffee. Unless it’s 2 hours old.
I likely won’t order more even if they are heavenly. I can get grassfed beef delivered to my dining room table for less.
That reminds me, I need to read my copy of Storey’s Guide to Raising Beef Cattle. Almost time to buy if I’m gonna.
Texans brag about their beef, but I found it a little tough and stringy compared to corn-fed yankee beeves.
I dunno. Even a fresh pot of Chock Full O’Nuts tasted awful.
This may be the first holiday season wherein I lose weight the whole time.
*chews leftover Christmas cake slowly, giving Leon the stinkeye the whole time*
I was so good about giving away almost all the other homemade sweets. There is not a lot of extra stuff that I made here.
Unfortunately, everybody in my family throws boxes of Munsons chocolate around as a kind of holiday greeting, so there’s boxes of that here now. Dammit.
Scott refers to that brand as Chock Full O’Crack. Every time we’ve had it, it gets us totally wired.
Roamy I have been getting my coffee here
http://www.coffeebeandirect.com/roasted-coffee/regular-coffee.html
They are very prompt and the beans are fresh and tasty
Chock Full O’Nuts sounds like something a doddering old maid would hand out on Halloween.
I’ve still got a Christmas and a New Year’s party ahead of me, Laura. There’s still time for me to fail utterly in this endeavor.
Don’t lose hope.
This may be the first holiday season wherein I lose weight the whole time.
*chews leftover Christmas cake slowly, giving Leon the stinkeye the whole time*
My daughter made some yummy cookies, and aside from a chocolate here and there, I didn’t over-do it.
You gotta enjoy a little, then just make up for it elsewhere. That’s my philosophy.
See, I don’t go to “parties”. I think that must be my secret*.
I’m probably going to be working NYE, so I’ll lose weight running around.
*if you’re a social outcast, you don’t get invited to places with tempting morsels
>> Even a fresh pot of Chock Full O’Nuts tasted awful.
It sounds awful too.
I’m done with my “eat whatever the fuck I want to eat” break since Thansgiving. Back on the program for me.
plus.. *holds my zippo in my hand and looks at it with trepidation*
FUUUUUUUUUUUUUUU
http://tinyurl.com/d6xux5d
Vmax, I have been spoiled by Mystic Monk coffee, but Folgers or Maxwell House would have been better. In the interests of family peace, I kept my mouth shut. It was stressful enough with the family in mourning.
There’s still time for me to fail utterly in this endeavor.
PHEW.
We started going through the house, getting it ready to put on the market. 90% boring crap, 10% really cool stuff. Coolest find for me was Mr. RFH’s great-grandfather’s baptismal certificate from 1879 in German.
My weight has gone up a little bit, but it doesn’t appear to be fat. Huh.
Re: Baylor defense. Where the fuck have those guys been all season long?
You know,let’s make this diet-blog Friday?
Is Wiser off today?
MJ, if you’re running less and getting decent protein, you might be adding some muscle.
^^^anti-running h8ter
I see the Paleo -cult is growing. At the stores, the paleo books were everywhere.
You know … FINE. I don’t need to hang out here.
*shuffles off,mumbling to self …
*peeks back one last time.
I hate you guys so very much.
I don’t hate running. It’s a good way to evade predators, capture prey, or catch up to errant offspring.
Other than that it’s basically a bad idea.
It’s a fun cult, Car-in. We have bacon.
I got Mark Sisson’s paleo cookbook of sauces and dressings for Christmas.
You know,let’s make this diet-blog Friday?
Is Wiser off today?
Ooh. I just commented at the recipe blog, but I’d better repeat it here in case he forgets to check over there.
Re: Thai Curry
I’ve always found fish sauce and curry paste to be readily available in grocery stores and occasionally even at Super Walmart. Most commonly the Thai Kitchen brand. I use fish sauce in just about every Asian dish I make.
If you feel like experimenting, try fish paste instead of fish sauce or lemon grass instead of lime leaves.
Also, look for Malaysian style curry paste or powder. It’s common in Malaysia (duh) and southern Thailand and very different from this type (for one thing the curry has cinnamon in it).
I mostly make Indian curries rather than Thai, but I’ve liked that curry paste when I’ve had it. Both the red and green are excellent on beef.
http://washingtonexaminer.com/michigan-gov.-snyder-takes-on-unions-again/article/2516976
Scott, Laura, you’ll be pleased to see that Michigan continues to have “emergency republicans”.
You lucky-luckies. We have no such thing here.
MJ, if you’re running less and getting decent protein, you might be adding some muscle.
————————
I’ve scaled back from 23-25 to 15 or so per week. I just started biking again and I’m actually lifting for a change.
Goomorning, cool kids.
I’m imagining a giant glass case in every State House, containing a guy holding a calculator. Little hammer and a sign in front of each one, “In case of fiscal emergency break glass.”
I ran last week also
25′ and collapsed needing oxygen, but I ran
Emergency Republicans should look, talk, and act like Harvey Keitel in Pulp Fiction.
I’ve scaled back from 23-25 to 15 or so per week. I just started biking again and I’m actually lifting for a change.
That’d do it. Seems like a nicely balanced program, which should make Car in happy, but won’t because I said so 🙂
Scott, Laura, you’ll be pleased to see that Michigan continues to have “emergency republicans”.
Heh, if AFSCME hates it, it must be good.
New post.