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Thursday at the Funny Bone

QuizzicalDog

Two women were out for a Saturday stroll. One had a Doberman and the other, a Chihuahua. As they walked down the street, the one with the Doberman said to her friend, “Let’s go over to that bar for a drink.”

The lady with the Chihuahua said, “We can’t go in there. We’ve got dogs with us.”
The one with the Doberman said, “Just watch, and do as I do.”
They walked over to the bar and the one with the Doberman put on a pair of dark glasses and started to walk in.
The bouncer at the door said, “Sorry, lady, no pets allowed.”
The woman with the Doberman said, “You don’t understand. This is my seeing-eye dog.”
The bouncer said, “A Doberman?”
The woman said, “Yes, they’re using them now. They’re very good.”
The bouncer said, “OK, come on in.”
The lady with the Chihuahua thought that convincing him that a Chihuahua was a seeing-eye dog may be a bit more difficult, but thought,”What the heck,” so she put on her dark glasses and started to walk in.
Once again the bouncer said, “Sorry, lady, no pets allowed.”
The woman said, “You don’t understand. This is my seeing-eye dog.”
The bouncer said, “A Chihuahua?”
The woman with the Chihuahua said…………………………
.
.
.
“A Chihuahua? They gave me a f…..g Chihuahua?!”

MaxAndArlene

A Love Story
Max & Arlene lived by a lake in Northern Minnesota. It was early winter and the lake had frozen over.
Max asked Arlene if she would walk across the frozen lake to the general store to get him some beer. She asked him for some money, but he told her “no, just put it on our tab”. So Arlene walked across, got the beer at the general store, then walked back home across the lake. When she got home and gave Max his beer, she asked him, “Max, you always tell me not to run up the tab at the store. Why didn’t you just give me some money?”.
Max replied, “Well, I didn’t want to send you out there with some money when I wasn’t sure how thick the ice was yet”

nancy-pelosi-red-speak

A man was washed up on a beach after a shipwreck. Only a sheep and a sheepdog were washed up with him. After looking around, he realized they were stranded on a deserted island.
After being there awhile, he got into the habit of taking his two animal companions to the beach every evening to watch the sunset. One particular evening, the sky was a fiery red with beautiful cirrus clouds. The breeze was warm and gentle – a perfect night for romance.
As they sat there, the sheep started looking better and better to the lonely man. Soon, he leaned over to the sheep and put his arm around it.
But the sheepdog, ever protective of the sheep, growled fiercely until the man took his arm from around the sheep. After that, the three of them continued to enjoy the sunsets together, but there was no more cuddling.
A few weeks passed by and lo and behold, there was another shipwreck. The only survivor was Nancy Pelosi. That evening, the man brought Nancy to the evening beach ritual. It was another beautiful evening – red sky, cirrus clouds, a warm and gentle breeze. Perfect for a night of romance. Pretty soon, the man started to get those “feelings” again. He fought the urges as long as he could but he finally gave in and leaned over to Nancy and told her he hadn’t had sex for months.
Nancy batted her eyelashes and asked if there was anything she could do for him.
He said, “take the dog for a walk.”

Have a happy Thursday!

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December 27, 2012
Categories: American Hero, asshole, fucking genius, funny, Generic Category Category, I feel like chicken tonight., It must be true! . Tags:Just shake your head and laugh . Author: Jay in Ames

379 Comments

  1. Comment by Jay in Ames on December 27, 2012 9:24 am

    I crack myself up.

  2. Comment by Vmaximus on December 27, 2012 9:26 am

    Huh?

  3. Comment by MJ on December 27, 2012 9:27 am

    I’ve heard that last one, but with Hillary. I think it was in the 90s.

  4. Comment by Jay in Ames on December 27, 2012 9:28 am

    Well then you should have poated it in the 90s, smart guy.

  5. Comment by NbQuitter on December 27, 2012 9:34 am

    wasn’t MJ in high school in the 90’s?

  6. Comment by Car in on December 27, 2012 9:34 am

    Heh.

  7. Comment by Pupster on December 27, 2012 9:35 am

    You get a SS package yet, MJ?

  8. Comment by Pupster on December 27, 2012 9:36 am

    *rattles ice in empty glass after making eye contact*

  9. Comment by Car in on December 27, 2012 9:37 am

    MJ probably just can ‘t see all the way into his mailbox. Maybe it’s there, but way in the back?

  10. Comment by Vmaximus on December 27, 2012 9:37 am

    What no one has said yet about publishing the names of the permit holders in NY is that statistically people who apply for permits are the people who commit the fewest crimes.

    Police officers commit more crimes than CCW holders Doctors commit more crime.

    Think about that for a moment. Isn’t it rather absurd that the left is so afraid of law abiding people?

  11. Comment by Car in on December 27, 2012 9:42 am

    The left is idiotic.

  12. Comment by MJ on December 27, 2012 9:44 am

    The internet barely existed when I left for college. I was one of the only people to have a computer, and I remember having to use winsock to connect to whatever it was called at the time.

    The kid a few rooms down may have been one of the first people punked by a girl. He was maybe 5 feet tall (a giant), had hair down to his ass, and a really long goatee. Metal dude. He would spend all night downloading porn pictures.

    He ended up meeting a girl on a metal site and asked her to come out to the college. Turns out she was in her 50s.

    He did it anyway.

    $20

  13. Comment by NbQuitter on December 27, 2012 9:46 am

    so that was like 1999?

  14. Comment by MJ on December 27, 2012 9:49 am

    You get a SS package yet, MJ?
    ———————–
    I did and it is an awesome gift! Aside from being funny and true, it’s totally useful. I have to stick gels, keys, and stuff in weird places because almost no one makes running shorts with pockets. Even so, the stuff bounces around.

    Plus, this will hold my bong for those extra long runs.

    http://is.gd/gTXSdJ

  15. Comment by MJ on December 27, 2012 9:51 am

    I think it was 93, assface.

  16. Comment by Car in on December 27, 2012 9:53 am

    Let’s declare today “Pick On MJ” day.

    I’m bored.

  17. Comment by mare BENGHAZI TRAVESTY on December 27, 2012 9:54 am

    HA! Mj said assface, a personal favorite!

  18. Comment by Car in on December 27, 2012 9:54 am

    Plus, this will hold my bong for those extra long runs.

    http://is.gd/gTXSdJ

    I had one of those.

    I “lost” it.

    MJ, please send me a picture of yours, just in case I’m interested in possible prosecution of Pupster.

  19. Comment by Pupster on December 27, 2012 9:54 am

    I have to stick gels, keys, and stuff in weird places

    Now you will have more room for the bullwhip.

  20. Comment by MJ on December 27, 2012 9:56 am

    Let’s declare today “Pick On MJ” day.
    ——————–
    That would be fun. I’ll go first.

    Boy, that guy MJ is tall, dark, and handsome.

  21. Comment by Pupster on December 27, 2012 9:58 am

    MJ’s Hippie Runner was new. I considered sending him yours, but it stank of slow-paced vibrams. I use it on the dog to hold the poop bag.

  22. Comment by Car in on December 27, 2012 9:59 am

    You suck at this game, MJ.

  23. Comment by Pupster on December 27, 2012 9:59 am

    Boy, that guy MJ is tall, dark, and handsome.

    Smart, too.

  24. Comment by MJ on December 27, 2012 10:00 am

    Now you will have more room for the bullwhip.
    ———————————–
    My last doctor visit:

    http://is.gd/aadkN6

  25. Comment by Car in on December 27, 2012 10:00 am

    I considered sending him yours, but it stank of slow-paced vibrams. I use it on the dog to hold the poop bag.

    As long as it’s being used for something, I guess I shouldn’t complain.

  26. Comment by Car in on December 27, 2012 10:00 am

    I’m not clicking on MJ’s link.

    FWIW.

  27. Comment by NbQuitter on December 27, 2012 10:12 am

    heh heh heh

  28. Comment by Car in on December 27, 2012 10:12 am

    Are we done playing for the day?

    Guess it’s time to clean the chicken coop.
    BOO HISS.

  29. Comment by Jay in Ames on December 27, 2012 10:13 am

    Wow, you sure are demanding today, Car in.

  30. Comment by MJ on December 27, 2012 10:16 am

    NbQuitter: has anyone welcomed you?

    Who are you and what are you doing here?

    Do you like candy?

  31. Comment by NbQuitter on December 27, 2012 10:20 am

    Not really, LONG TIME LURKER and I am here picking on you today apparently and nose candy is good

  32. Comment by MJ on December 27, 2012 10:23 am

    Not really, LONG TIME LURKER and I am here picking on you today apparently and nose candy is good
    ————————————
    I don’t understand lurking. Why not jump in the pool? Sure, it’s filled with used needles and pee, but what isn’t these days?

  33. Comment by MJ on December 27, 2012 10:25 am

    And thanks for the SS gift, pupster. It’s super cool.

    http://is.gd/ZQFmjj

  34. Comment by Jay in Ames on December 27, 2012 10:26 am

    Some people just like to see us make jackasses out of ourselves, I guess.

  35. Comment by leoncaruthers on December 27, 2012 10:26 am

    My chickens are getting some scraps from the standing rib roast today. The next few dozen eggs are gonna be amazing.

  36. Comment by Pupster on December 27, 2012 10:27 am

    You are welcome, MJ, sorry it was late.

  37. Comment by leoncaruthers on December 27, 2012 10:27 am

    Yeah, I’m boggled at the idea that this blog has lurkers. Stalkers I could understand. Lurkers? Weirdoze.

  38. Comment by scott on December 27, 2012 10:33 am

    Good news: My brakes are still good at 155,000 miles.

    Bad news: They need to keep the van overnight for any chance of successfully removing the bad glow plug.

  39. Comment by Car in on December 27, 2012 10:39 am

    Who are you and what are you doing here?

    Do you like candy?

    Do NOT get into MJ’s van.

    shudders

    Xbrad fell for it. Says it was the worst 45 seconds of his life.

  40. Comment by Car in on December 27, 2012 10:42 am

    Scott’s van glow plug is code.

    I don’t even know what that means.

  41. Comment by Pupster on December 27, 2012 10:45 am

    What was it Scottw kept calling the Pupster Van we drove to Lapeerpalooza?

    Molestermobile?

  42. Comment by daveintexas on December 27, 2012 10:45 am

    Are they watching your van overnight for any sign of post surgical glow plug removal trauma?

  43. Comment by lauraw on December 27, 2012 10:47 am

    My landlord just plowed the parking lot, finally. And left a halfass fucking mess.

  44. Comment by Jay in Ames on December 27, 2012 10:51 am

    How much snow did you get, laura?

  45. Comment by xbradtc on December 27, 2012 10:52 am

    Seriously.

    “Zots!” hardly count as free candy.

  46. Comment by Cyn on December 27, 2012 10:53 am

    Good morning, cool kids.

  47. Comment by Pupster on December 27, 2012 10:53 am

    “Plowed the parking lot” is code as well.

  48. Comment by daveintexas on December 27, 2012 10:55 am

    SMOD is running late

    http://www.independent.co.uk/news/science/brighter-than-a-full-moon-the-biggest-star-of-2013-could-be-ison–the-comet-of-the-century-8431443.html

    The surface will shift as the ice responds to the thermal shock, cracks will appear in the crust, tiny puffs of gas will rise from it as it is warmed. The comet’s tail is forming.

    Slowly at first but with increasing vigour, as it passes the orbit of Earth, the gas and dust geysers will gather force. The space around the comet becomes brilliant as the ice below the surface turns into gas and erupts, reflecting the light of the Sun.

    hawt!

  49. Comment by lauraw on December 27, 2012 10:56 am

    I saw it snowing but apparently we didn’t get any snow, Jay. We got five inches of heavy slush….

  50. Comment by daveintexas on December 27, 2012 11:02 am

    Didnt it rain after the snow?

  51. Comment by Andy on December 27, 2012 11:03 am

    It’s rainsnowsleeting in Manhattan right now. Good times.

  52. Comment by lauraw on December 27, 2012 11:05 am

    Yeah, it was a wet mix.

    Oh look, he’s back. Maybe this time he’ll finish plowing so everybody doesn’t have to have soaking wet shoes by the time they get to my door.

  53. Comment by MJ on December 27, 2012 11:12 am

    You are welcome, MJ, sorry it was late.
    ————————
    Not a worry. I’m more surprised that you signed the card, ‘Merry Christmas Dickface.’

    Why address a card to yourself???

  54. Comment by Stark Dickflüssig on December 27, 2012 11:14 am

    Still snowing here. Whee!

  55. Comment by daveintexas on December 27, 2012 11:18 am

    Yeah, I thought that was what happened Laura. What a mess I’ll bet

  56. Comment by j1mbro on December 27, 2012 11:19 am

    Snowing in Maine too

    (That statement is valid for the next 4 months)

  57. Comment by daveintexas on December 27, 2012 11:19 am

    also OMFG I LOVE THESE TABASCO SLIM JIMS!!111!!1!1

  58. Comment by jimbro on December 27, 2012 11:21 am

    Wet heavy heart attack snow

  59. Comment by lauraw on December 27, 2012 11:33 am

    I know! It was easier for me to push this snow away from my entrance than to shovel it up. I couldn’t pick up the shovel a couple of times. Stuff is like lead.

  60. Comment by MJ on December 27, 2012 11:36 am

    56 today. Cold as a witches tit, whatever that means.

  61. Comment by Cyn on December 27, 2012 11:42 am

    Sunshine, sunshine, sunshine. It will drive you crazy.

  62. Comment by Stark Dickflüssig on December 27, 2012 11:47 am

    It was about 25° (that’s real degrees, not your fancy French bullshit degrees) when I shoveled the 100′ (0.000000000000000987789527 parsecs) of sidewalk & two (3 in metric) flights of stairs. I was wearing a t-shirt & slacks, & I almost died of heat stroke.

  63. Comment by Cyn on December 27, 2012 11:47 am

    *emails little packets of sunshine to everyone except MJ and Vman*

  64. Comment by MJ on December 27, 2012 11:51 am

    Hi Cyn. Cod you see we had a long time lurker delurk? Pretty funny actually.

  65. Comment by Trailer Trash Jewstin on December 27, 2012 11:53 am

    Howdy. Did I miss any good hosefucking?

  66. Comment by leoncaruthers on December 27, 2012 11:54 am

    Sun’s shining here, it’s just snowy. Not even really all that cold. Low 30s or so.

    But work’s internet has been busted all morning, and that really sucks.

  67. Comment by Vmaximus on December 27, 2012 11:54 am

    Jew!!!!1111eleven

  68. Comment by Cyn on December 27, 2012 12:00 pm

    JEWSTIN!!!!!!!
    C’mere so I can hug you and then wop the crap outta you!!

  69. Comment by Cyn on December 27, 2012 12:01 pm

    Hi MJ.

    *almost makes effort to link Lollipop Holly; drinks more coffee instead*

  70. Comment by lauraw on December 27, 2012 12:02 pm

    Jewstin is alive!

    *blows small plastic party bugle*

    *confetti falls everywhere*

  71. Comment by Trailer Trash Jewstin on December 27, 2012 12:06 pm

    I’m alive. I got a spiffy new job, but I work from 5:00 a.m. to 3:30 p.m.

    I just finished my 90 day probation and got a permanent, spiffy, new job last week.

  72. Comment by LC Aggie Sith on December 27, 2012 12:07 pm

    CONGRATULATIONS, JEWSTIN!!!!

    *buys Jewstin a new shirt*

  73. Comment by daveintexas on December 27, 2012 12:15 pm

    It’s sunny here too and a bit warmer, 40s today later.

    HI JEWSTIN

    *makes a slushball and looks at Laura real funny, starts giggling for some reason*

  74. Comment by lauraw on December 27, 2012 12:17 pm

    That’s good news! One thing about this recession that blows my mind is the amount of jobs still remaining unfilled.

    It’s almost like, some large group of people are being disincentivized from looking for work…

  75. Comment by Trailer Trash Jewstin on December 27, 2012 12:22 pm

    I’m a builder making industrial kitchen appliances. Thecompany is always begging for people, but as far as I can tell they only apply to satisfy the requirements for staying on the dole.

  76. Comment by leoncaruthers on December 27, 2012 12:24 pm

    We don’t know that this is really Jewstin. Could be an impersonator.

    In any event, I’m glad that the potential impersonator has a new job.

  77. Comment by Cyn on December 27, 2012 12:26 pm

    Good to hear from you. Merry Christmas, Jew.

    *whacks you with a rolling pin for good measure*

  78. Comment by lauraw on December 27, 2012 12:27 pm

    *aims flamethrower at Dave, also giggling*

    That sounds great, Jewstin. We are living in scary times but people like you who show some hustle will always git ‘er done.

  79. Comment by daveintexas on December 27, 2012 12:30 pm

    *lights my thermonuclear grenade, giggles become maniacal*

  80. Comment by Jay in Ames on December 27, 2012 12:37 pm

    Yay, Jewstin is back! And with a job, too!

    Vmax is next. He’s getting a job, I just know it.

  81. Comment by Jay in Ames on December 27, 2012 12:38 pm

    *aims flamethrower at Dave, also giggling*

    *lights my thermonuclear grenade, giggles become maniacal*

    This business will get out of control. It will get out of control and we’ll be lucky to live through it.

  82. Comment by Jay in Ames on December 27, 2012 12:41 pm

    Heh, sounds like jewstin will be running his own division soon.

  83. Comment by Sean M. on December 27, 2012 12:45 pm

    Good day, joke crackers and crack smokers.

  84. Comment by Pupster on December 27, 2012 12:53 pm

    HI JEWSTIN!

    I’m glad you checked in, we were worried about you.

    Well, Mare wasn’t, but the rest of us were worried sick.

    Except for Wiserbud, he doesn’t give a shit.

    But everyone else, worried.

    So, we’ve got Mare, not worried.

    Wiserbud, doesn’t give a shit.

    Everybody else, glad you are back.

  85. Comment by Sean M. on December 27, 2012 1:00 pm

    I knew he’d be back. He can’t quit us.

    *acoustic guitar music*

  86. Comment by Car in on December 27, 2012 1:02 pm

    Jewstin’s been gone?

  87. Comment by MJ on December 27, 2012 1:15 pm

    Ever see Mare and Jewstin together?

  88. Comment by Pupster on December 27, 2012 1:18 pm

    Hah! Trick question. Mare is a figment of my imagination. I think Sohos met Jewstin, but she’s not talking to us anymore.

  89. Comment by MJ on December 27, 2012 1:22 pm

    Well that’s interesting. Under the Assault Weapons Ban™ that will be introduced by Diane Feinstein, my Glock will need to be registered with the ATF. Uh, sure.

    Good luck passing this, and thanks for making sure that every D senator from a red state breaks with the effete, urban party leaders.

    Summary here: http://is.gd/tuH7mj

  90. Comment by Jay in Ames on December 27, 2012 1:27 pm

    Looks like MJ is about to have a tragic boating accident, losing all his weapons.

  91. Comment by Jay in Ames on December 27, 2012 1:29 pm

    Actually I think Warner from VA and Manchin from WV will vote for the laws, thereby making their reelections a little harder. They will probably win again, though, since people are stupid and have no memory.

  92. Comment by scott on December 27, 2012 1:30 pm

    MJ’s got talent

    http://www.youtube.com/watch?feature=player_embedded&v=_viuM_sEOOU#!

  93. Comment by Jay in Ames on December 27, 2012 1:32 pm

    From Feinstein’s bill:

    Exempting antique, manually-operated, and permanently disabled weapons

    Aren’t all rifles and pistols manually operated?

  94. Comment by LC Aggie Sith on December 27, 2012 1:33 pm

    I think Manchin backed off, J’Ames. I could be wrong, though.

  95. Comment by Jay in Ames on December 27, 2012 1:33 pm

    Heh, let me know how this works out for you, Diane:

    Requires that grandfathered weapons be registered under the National Firearms Act, to include:

    Background check of owner and any transferee;
    Type and serial number of the firearm;
    Positive identification, including photograph and fingerprint;
    Certification from local law enforcement of identity and that possession would not violate State or local law; and
    Dedicated funding for ATF to implement registration

    There’s no way I can see anyone with any sense registering.

  96. Comment by leoncaruthers on December 27, 2012 1:34 pm

    Warner maybe, Manchin seems like he might really be on the right side of the 2A.

    My congresscritter in Ann Arbor (Dingell) had the same split. Wrong on everything but guns.

  97. Comment by MJ on December 27, 2012 1:34 pm

    Mrs MJ wants a shotgun. Mostly so she can rack it and feel cool.

  98. Comment by Jay in Ames on December 27, 2012 1:34 pm

    I hadn’t seen that, aggie. He and Warner were pretty wobbly, after the press heard that the NRA liked them.

  99. Comment by MJ on December 27, 2012 1:36 pm

    Manchin shot Cap and Trade in a commercial for crissakes. It actually leads with him stating he’ll protect 2nd Amendment rights.

    He’s a little slow, but I doubt he’ll vote for gun control.

    http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=xIJORBRpOPM

  100. Comment by LC Aggie Sith on December 27, 2012 1:40 pm

    J’Ames, Machin wrote this op-ed:

    http://www.washingtonpost.com/opinions/sen-joe-manchin-between-obama-and-the-nra-another-path-to-stopping-mass-violence/2012/12/21/181d4e94-4adc-11e2-9a42-d1ce6d0ed278_story_2.html

    Seems to me he saw the writing on the wall.

  101. Comment by Jay in Ames on December 27, 2012 1:41 pm

    Add in Tester from Montana, and I don’t see Feinstein getting the votes.

  102. Comment by Jay in Ames on December 27, 2012 1:43 pm

    Thanks aggie!

  103. Comment by Jay in Ames on December 27, 2012 1:52 pm

    Kilt it with gun control. Fitting.

  104. Comment by LC Aggie Sith on December 27, 2012 1:53 pm

    HAHAHAHAHAHA!!!

  105. Comment by daveintexas on December 27, 2012 1:56 pm

    *sets claymores in the perimeter*

    lessee, this side tow-

  106. Comment by LC Aggie Sith on December 27, 2012 2:07 pm

    *hands Dave some band-aids*

  107. Comment by Cyn on December 27, 2012 2:08 pm

    *strolls by, casually, and pulls a string, which casually releases 1.7 million marbles; casually*

  108. Comment by daveintexas on December 27, 2012 2:14 pm

    Thanks Aggie. Could you hand me my leg too please?

    Cyn, no more touchy string thingy

  109. Comment by Cyn on December 27, 2012 2:17 pm

    This guy on FNC keeps talking about a ‘vibrational effect’ to this fiscal cliff.

    I’ve signed up for his newsletter.

  110. Comment by Sean M. on December 27, 2012 2:18 pm

    YOU’RE A SIDE TOW-!

  111. Comment by Cyn on December 27, 2012 2:18 pm

    *yanks Dave’s string thingy*

    http://is.gd/1jgAHv

  112. Comment by daveintexas on December 27, 2012 2:22 pm

    fuuuuuuuuuuuuu

  113. Comment by scott on December 27, 2012 2:22 pm

    I found an honest mechanic!

  114. Comment by Cyn on December 27, 2012 2:36 pm

    SCOTT!!! SCOTT!!!! Wake up!! You’re having some kind of a weird nightmare.

  115. Comment by leoncaruthers on December 27, 2012 2:39 pm

    That’s how they get you, Scott. They always tell the truth in the beginning.

  116. Comment by scott on December 27, 2012 2:43 pm

    He is saving me lots of money.

  117. Comment by scott on December 27, 2012 2:46 pm

    He’s from Texas, a conservative, and he gave me a ride home because cabs are a ripoff.

  118. Comment by Car in on December 27, 2012 2:51 pm

    I think Scott has a fever. Delusional.

  119. Comment by pepelp2 on December 27, 2012 2:52 pm

    Comment by MJ on December 27, 2012 1:34 pm
    Mrs MJ wants a shotgun. Mostly so she can rack it and feel cool.
    =========
    Be sure to send pics of Mrs. MJs rack……………..

  120. Comment by LC Aggie Sith on December 27, 2012 2:52 pm

    Seems legit, Scott 😀

  121. Comment by Car in on December 27, 2012 2:53 pm

    Ok, Jan 1- 6th, the fees for the Free Press Marathon (and half) and mucho cheaper.

    I’m gonna sign up early this year.

    Half is 50, and the full is only 15 dollars more. That’s an extra 13 miles for 15 bucks.

    How can I say no?

    *thinks MJ and wife should join me

  122. Comment by Cyn on December 27, 2012 2:54 pm

    Scooo-ooott…
    …wake ♫uUUU-uup♪…

    *glances at Leon and shakes head*

    Poor dear… this is a deep one.

  123. Comment by scott on December 27, 2012 2:59 pm

    It makes sense. I was bringing it to mechanics who were trained by Dodge. They only repaired things the Dodge way. 2 dealers looked at this repair and both came back with estimates of over $2000.

    This guy researches the problem, and finds that other mechanics have figured out a way to drill out the glow plug without filling the engine with shards of metal. He will fix it for $300.

    Parts are about half of what the dealers charged too.

  124. Comment by Cyn on December 27, 2012 3:01 pm

    *quietly scurries off, giggling silently; comes back with a bowl of warm water*

  125. Comment by pepelp2 on December 27, 2012 3:01 pm

    Hey Jewstin, figured you were either incarcerated, or answered an ad for an overseas “modeling” gig and became the love slave of an Arab sheik. Glad you’re back, please put $20 in the meat up fund, everybody else did while you were gone.

  126. Comment by MJ on December 27, 2012 3:05 pm

    How can I say no?
    ————————
    Like this: No flippin’ way.

    Mrs MJ and I are going to do a few half marathons and I’m going to work my way up to an olympic distance tri this year.

    After the last half, we both concluded that running another one—right then and there—was too much right now.

  127. Comment by Car in on December 27, 2012 3:07 pm

    way to drill out the glow plug without filling the engine with shards of metal. He will fix it for $300.

    Parts are about half of what the dealers charged too

    *cries

    It’s too late Cyn. He’s a goner.

  128. Comment by Car in on December 27, 2012 3:12 pm

    I’m prolly gonna just do the half, but now mostly because I’ve got a few girls from work who said they would sign up – right at the beginning of the year.

    The race isn’t until Oct, so they’ll have plenty of time to get into shape.

    So essited.

    I want to do the Olympic distance tri in June. This is the one I want to do:

    http://www.trifind.com/re_69429/BigFishTriathlonDuathlon.html

    It’s only a few miles from my house, and supposed to be really nice.

    Of course, you and your wife couldn’t POSSIBLY come to Lapeer.

    Mare-J.

  129. Comment by Car in on December 27, 2012 3:15 pm

    Killed it with running talk?

    Haters.

  130. Comment by pepelp2 on December 27, 2012 3:15 pm

    Hey, Scoot may be okay. I had a driveshaft support bearing go out last year. Factory replacement was $295 for just the part. I found a replacement part for $40 shipped.

    On diesel trucks, the dealerships were charging $250 for an engine block heater. Thing is, all the trucks came with an engine block heater, the dealerships were just selling a $6 cord to plug it in. Ripoff!!

  131. Comment by Sean M. on December 27, 2012 3:20 pm

    Killed it with running talk?

    Haters.

    Haters gonna hate relax and not have sore legs.

  132. Comment by scott on December 27, 2012 3:22 pm

    The dealers also told me I needed to replace the power steering assembly. That was also going to be close to $2000. An independent told me that the factory settings were crap and slotted a strut. Fixed for under $100.

    I am never going back to a dealer.

  133. Comment by Pupster on December 27, 2012 3:24 pm

    So, you found 2 honest mechanics?

  134. Comment by pepelp2 on December 27, 2012 3:25 pm

    Dealers hire kids, pay them $12 to $18 an hour, and then charge $120/hr for labor. That’s a hell of a markup.

  135. Comment by scott on December 27, 2012 3:30 pm

    Pupster, the other guy was just a good alignment guy with a lot of experience. A dealership would never slot a strut.

  136. Comment by daveintexas on December 27, 2012 3:31 pm

    All dealers use repair guidelines from the OEM. It’s a fixed process, with fixed labor hour rates. If the book says “these parts, this way, 2 hours” then that’s what they do, they never deviate from it. If it takes an hour, the book says 2, you get charged for 2.

    Having a good mechanic you can trust can save you $ and time.

  137. Comment by lauraw on December 27, 2012 3:33 pm

  138. Comment by daveintexas on December 27, 2012 3:34 pm

    Warranty work is a goldmine to a dealership, they do the repairs for you and get to bill the manufacturer using the same book.

    Most smart dealerships know they can make a ton of revenue with a well run repair shop, and sell cars for a couple hundred over actual cost.

  139. Comment by Stark Dickflüssig on December 27, 2012 3:34 pm

    Having a good mechanic you can trust can save you $ and time.

    Always helps to have a case of beer in the trunk just to be on the safe side.

  140. Comment by scott on December 27, 2012 3:36 pm

    Until you go in with an electrical problem. They get burned by some of those.

  141. Comment by scott on December 27, 2012 3:37 pm

    I also noticed that the independent guy only replaces the exact part that is broken. Dealers replace units or assemblies.

  142. Comment by daveintexas on December 27, 2012 3:41 pm

    RIP Fontella.

    http://www.stltoday.com/entertainment/music/st-louis-singer-fontella-bass-known-for-rescue-me-dies/article_522424e5-84fa-5451-843b-bfe88651ff85.html

  143. Comment by scott on December 27, 2012 3:42 pm

    I used to have a mechanic that would do most repairs for parts and a case of beer. 2 cases if he hurt himself.

  144. Comment by MCPO Airdale on December 27, 2012 3:43 pm

    YAY! New cable modem activated. . . and SCREAMING fast!

  145. Comment by Tushar on December 27, 2012 3:44 pm

    I took my old corolla to a dealer because the engine was vibrating (a foundation bolt had come loose after 7 years on NJ roads, but I did not know that at the time). The dealer said the car was extremely dangerous to drive and tried to pressure me into buying a new car. I asked him to let me drive it away and let me get it fixed elsewhere. He asked me to sign a release saying he is not responsible for my eventual death. I agreed, but he did not produce the relevant documents. I went to some other shop, got it fixed and used it for two more years before the wife decided to occupy a portion of the road that was already occupied by another car.

    Toyota makes good cars, but their dealers are no better than other dealers.

  146. Comment by scott on December 27, 2012 3:48 pm

    Huh. I never knew her name.

  147. Comment by jimbro on December 27, 2012 3:53 pm

    She sure knew yours

  148. Comment by daveintexas on December 27, 2012 3:54 pm

    It’s one of those names I knew and I forgot, and then remembered again. Pretty much a one-hit wonder

    Love that song.

  149. Comment by MCPO Airdale on December 27, 2012 4:06 pm

    Well, the trashmen finally came. . . a day late!

  150. Comment by scott on December 27, 2012 4:07 pm

    Was that song used in Animal House?

  151. Comment by scott on December 27, 2012 4:08 pm

    Scrooge, they got a day off for Christmas.

  152. Comment by Pupster on December 27, 2012 4:09 pm

    That’s some good Bass.

  153. Comment by MCPO Airdale on December 27, 2012 4:13 pm

    That’s some good Bass.

    http://tinyurl.com/cdkon3e

  154. Comment by daveintexas on December 27, 2012 4:24 pm

    I don’t remember it in Animal House.

    Let’s ask Wiserbud when he gets back from the record store.

  155. Comment by Car in on December 27, 2012 4:33 pm

    Let’s ask Wiserbud when he gets back from the record store.

    I wonder if they’ve gotten any new records there I’d like?

  156. Comment by scott on December 27, 2012 4:42 pm

    I always thought that was Aretha Franklin.

    This is what messed me up

    http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=3Gnglp0rw4A

  157. Comment by scott on December 27, 2012 4:43 pm

    It was Aretha, but it wasn’t Blues Brothers.

  158. Comment by MCPO Airdale on December 27, 2012 4:51 pm

    I don’t think DG has mastered the object of the game yet!

    http://flic.kr/p/dES7AC

  159. Comment by daveintexas on December 27, 2012 4:51 pm

    Aretha did “You Better Think” in the Blues Brothers

  160. Comment by MCPO Airdale on December 27, 2012 4:53 pm

  161. Comment by Jay in Ames on December 27, 2012 4:54 pm

    Mrs. Murphy: May I help you boys?
    Elwood: You got any white bread?
    Mrs. Murphy: Yes.
    Elwood: I’ll have some toasted white bread please.
    Mrs. Murphy: You want butter or jam on that toast, honey?
    Elwood: No ma’am, dry.
    [Mrs. Murphy gives him a look, then turns to Jake]
    Jake: Got any fried chicken?
    Mrs. Murphy: Best damn chicken in the state.
    Jake: Bring me four fried chickens and a Coke.
    Mrs. Murphy: You want chicken wings or chicken legs?
    Jake: Four fried chickens and a Coke.
    Elwood: And some dry white toast please.
    Mrs. Murphy: Y’all want anything to drink with that?
    Elwood: No ma’am.
    Jake: A Coke.
    Mrs. Murphy: Be up in a minute

  162. Comment by scott on December 27, 2012 4:55 pm

    Yep. I think that scene is what secured the Oscar for Matt Murphy.

  163. Comment by Jay in Ames on December 27, 2012 4:59 pm

    We’re gettin the band back together.

  164. Comment by MCPO Airdale on December 27, 2012 5:06 pm

    Took my B-I-L a helluva long time to get back to NYC from Indianapolis.

  165. Comment by Michael on December 27, 2012 5:16 pm

    Does the band need a clarinet?

    Don’t even think about Wiser. He sucks.

  166. Comment by LC Aggie Sith on December 27, 2012 5:21 pm

    Women are the worst bitches in parking lots. Ever.

  167. Comment by daveintexas on December 27, 2012 5:25 pm

    >> Women are the worst bitches in parking lots. Ever.

    Never saw two dudes get into it over a parking space.

    The ladies, on the other hand…

  168. Comment by LC Aggie Sith on December 27, 2012 5:33 pm

    Never saw two dudes get into it over a parking space.

    Neither have I. On the other hand, I have seen dudes get into it over a bar stool.

  169. Comment by scott on December 27, 2012 5:34 pm

    Those are way more important.

  170. Comment by daveintexas on December 27, 2012 5:34 pm

    >> I have seen dudes get into it over a bar stool.

    A lot depends on what’s parked on the bar stool, heh.

  171. Comment by Stark Dickflüssig on December 27, 2012 5:35 pm

    Yeah, women are weird. & they got all them bumps stickin’ out in places. & the pink stuff. Wow, I’m just . . . oh man, I’ll be back in about 15 min.

  172. Comment by Car in on December 27, 2012 5:39 pm

    I must keep reminding myself of this.

  173. Comment by Car in on December 27, 2012 5:40 pm

    I don’t mind walking in parking lots. But them I also pay people to let me run long distances.

  174. Comment by scott on December 27, 2012 5:46 pm

    I will let you run for half of what everyone else charges you.

  175. Comment by daveintexas on December 27, 2012 5:58 pm

    Half? Hell, I’ll let you run if you just mow my yard. In swimwear

  176. Comment by Michael on December 27, 2012 6:10 pm

    Dave’s emerald green thong does not count as “swimwear.”

  177. Comment by Michael on December 27, 2012 6:12 pm

    Dave, this is perfect weather for the spa.

  178. Comment by Michael on December 27, 2012 6:16 pm

    You want it to be cold, but not too cold, and no wind which makes getting in and out really unpleasant.

  179. Comment by osoloco11 on December 27, 2012 6:18 pm

    You want real danger? Try being a pedestrian in NM.

  180. Comment by daveintexas on December 27, 2012 6:18 pm

    I know. I like the clouds of steam.

  181. Comment by Michael on December 27, 2012 6:18 pm

    Right now, wind speed is only 8mph from the SSE.

  182. Comment by Car in on December 27, 2012 6:48 pm

    Scott, you have to provide gator aid every mile. Chocolate milk at the end.

  183. Comment by xbradtc on December 27, 2012 6:54 pm

    Jewstin!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

  184. Comment by Stark Dickflüssig on December 27, 2012 6:54 pm

    Nancy Pelosi gave a gator AIDS once.

  185. Comment by Jay in Ames on December 27, 2012 6:54 pm

    Hmm, haven’t heard the chocolate milk one.

  186. Comment by xbradtc on December 27, 2012 6:56 pm

    I like chocolate milk, but I’m sure as hell not running anywhere for it!

  187. Comment by ChrisP on December 27, 2012 6:57 pm

    SMOD Drive-by on Feb 15, 2013…

    http://tinyurl.com/cmjlsdj

  188. Comment by Car in on December 27, 2012 7:01 pm

    Seriously. Run 13 miles and they give you all the chocolate
    Milk you want.

    It’s a sweet gig.

  189. Comment by Car in on December 27, 2012 7:02 pm

    Jewstin’s captors only gave him a small window of H2 time.

  190. Comment by osoloco11 on December 27, 2012 7:03 pm

    I miss chocolate milk. Not enough to run for it.

  191. Comment by Car in on December 27, 2012 7:04 pm

    A customer just recognized me at the grocery store. I think I have a restaurant groupie.

  192. Comment by Car in on December 27, 2012 7:05 pm

    /shuns Oso for her lack of dedication to chocolate milk.

  193. Comment by Trailer Trash Jewstin on December 27, 2012 7:14 pm

    Chocolate milk goes well with Amaretto.

  194. Comment by xbradtc on December 27, 2012 7:15 pm

    So, are you really paying to run, or just way overpaying for chocolate milk?

  195. Comment by osoloco11 on December 27, 2012 7:16 pm

    I used to steal the penny from my dad to get the chocolate milk fix in elementary school. 5 days a week of theft. My Saturday confession was pretty boring for years. One out of 10 baby!!!!

  196. Comment by Jewstin on December 27, 2012 7:33 pm

    I used to swindle $1.62 from my friends so I could buy chewing tobacco at the trading post.

  197. Comment by MCPO Airdale on December 27, 2012 7:36 pm

    Jewstin!! Where the hell are you?

  198. Comment by Jewstin on December 27, 2012 7:37 pm

    Which was criminal now that I think about it. When I went to town it only cost $1.02 at the gas station.

  199. Comment by Vmaximus on December 27, 2012 7:40 pm

    And what kind of job do you have Jewston?

  200. Comment by Jewstin on December 27, 2012 7:40 pm

    I’m still in Cheyenne, MCPO. Gainfully employed and thoroughly enjoying my new job.

  201. Comment by Jewstin on December 27, 2012 7:41 pm

    I’m a builder at a factory. I make industrial kitchen appliances.

  202. Comment by xbradtc on December 27, 2012 7:42 pm

    Stormin’ Norman Schwarzkopf has passed.

  203. Comment by Andy on December 27, 2012 7:54 pm

    Evenin’, los mofos.

    I’m on Joey Choo-choo’s Amtrak, heading back to Boston. Thanks for the subsidy, suckas!

    *looks in mirror*

    Oh. Shit!

  204. Comment by MCPO Airdale on December 27, 2012 7:56 pm

    Jewstin – Can ya hook me up with a really good gas range? 😉

  205. Comment by MJ on December 27, 2012 7:56 pm

    The left is criticizing Boner for vacationing in Westchester, OH, while Obama, being the adult, has returned from Hawaii.

    They could work at a dealership selling chocolate milk after a race that cost $50.

  206. Comment by Jewstin on December 27, 2012 7:58 pm

    Not only that, MCPO, I can get you a proofing cabinet for your bread-making.

    Or, for an all-in-one solution, we also make these:

    http://tinyurl.com/cvye5fl

  207. Comment by osoloco11 on December 27, 2012 8:01 pm

    Phat, Fort Collins is close to Cheyenne. Moron meat up!!!! MFM sucks. Really? D-rat Senators aren’t the hold up but GOPers in the House are? Send a bill every day. Each one with more spending cuts. Eventually, even the Progs will have to cover.

  208. Comment by MCPO Airdale on December 27, 2012 8:07 pm

    Just what I need! A field kitchen in the Hobbit Hole!

  209. Comment by xbradtc on December 27, 2012 8:14 pm

    MCPO, you’d also need the three pack of immersion heaters to clean the mess kits.

  210. Comment by Andy on December 27, 2012 8:16 pm

    Umm, yeah. This “fiscal cliff” isn’t exactly a natural feature of the landscape that we just happened upon.

    It’s a result of Boehner and McConnell’s last great victory over the Dems. One more like that surely will kill us.

  211. Comment by ChrisP on December 27, 2012 8:22 pm

    Lanzas AR was left in the fricken’ car! He had 4 pistols in the school.That’s all!

    Ban This!

  212. Comment by MCPO Airdale on December 27, 2012 8:24 pm

    ChrisPy – You’re surprised?

  213. Comment by xbradtc on December 27, 2012 8:29 pm

    Chrispy, don’t bet the farm on that link. I’ve seen conflicting reports, mostly the coroner saying the wounds were all from “the long gun.”

  214. Comment by xbradtc on December 27, 2012 8:32 pm

    http://tinyurl.com/bnusnpn

  215. Comment by Jewstin on December 27, 2012 8:33 pm

    Field ranges are pretty fun to build. Mess kits not so much. I had to deburr and polish 1800 handles for those fucking things.

    YOU DON’T NEED NO STINKING MESS KITS! USE YOUR HELMET!

  216. Comment by xbradtc on December 27, 2012 8:36 pm

    Actually, I never did use my mess kit. We always ate off puke green paper plates.

  217. Comment by Stark Dickflüssig on December 27, 2012 8:38 pm

    Adam Lanza was on Flight 93.

  218. Comment by MCPO Airdale on December 27, 2012 8:40 pm

    “Today we will spend our morning shining the handles on our mess kits. That will make the Quartermaster happy!”

  219. Comment by Jewstin on December 27, 2012 8:43 pm

    Actually, I never did use my mess kit. We always ate off puke green paper plates.

    I spent two days standing over a grinder set on a table built for a midget and you used a plate?!

    *Bashes Xbrad in the face with a mess kit.

    *Steals his jenkem.

  220. Comment by Pupster on December 27, 2012 8:47 pm

  221. Comment by xbradtc on December 27, 2012 8:47 pm

    My last mess kit was made by Federal Prison Industries.

    Is there something you wanna tell us, Mr. Face Bashing Violent Guy?

  222. Comment by Sean M. on December 27, 2012 8:54 pm

    Did anybody discover that anybody else was once in a Christmas-themed porno movie today?

  223. Comment by Jewstin on December 27, 2012 8:57 pm

    I didn’t know we made mess kits for prisoners. I would have thought heaps of soft, ensharpable aluminum would be considered a big no-no for felons.

  224. Comment by Jewstin on December 27, 2012 8:58 pm

    Did anybody discover that anybody else was once in a Christmas-themed porno movie today?

    Uhh. . . Did said porno have to be recorded on film?

  225. Comment by Jay in Ames on December 27, 2012 8:59 pm

    Christmas themed? No.

  226. Comment by MCPO Airdale on December 27, 2012 8:59 pm

    Now that he has passed, I can tell you a little story about General Schwarzkopf. As many of you may have guessed, “Stormin’ Norman” had a temper. His COS assigned one of the aides to have on him, at all times, 3 pairs of the General’s reading glasses. The General was in the habit of throwing his glasses across the room to display his displeasure. The COS swore to me that they went through 20 pairs during Desert Shield/Desert Storm.

  227. Comment by Jay in Ames on December 27, 2012 9:04 pm

    Awesome story, MCPO! Passion shows in many ways.

  228. Comment by ChrisP on December 27, 2012 9:05 pm

    Xbrad,
    The coroner fancies himself “Quincy M.D.”, and is a camera whore. He spent a lot of time telling the interested journalistsGhouls about how” those evil AR bullets were designed to stay inside those tiny bodies to do maximum tissue damage.”
    The guy is an ass-clown of the first order…

    Chief,
    No, I’m not surprised. They had to suppress this until the serious momentum was built-up by the media and the Democrats(BIRM) to ban those “Evil Black Rifles”.
    They have, indeed, done just that. Look at the evil Bitch Feinsteim, showboating, as she holds-up an EBR, that is illegal for her to have in D.C.
    http://tinyurl.com/clpt5jk

    Bastards! This may drive me to consume “Mass Quantities”, though I hope not…

  229. Comment by roamingfirehydrant on December 27, 2012 9:10 pm

    Jewstin! Glad you came home for Christmas!

  230. Comment by Andy on December 27, 2012 9:10 pm

    >> Lanzas AR was left in the fricken’ car! He had 4 pistols in the school.That’s all!

    DO NOT run with that. Cub reporterette Katie Pavlich got her ass handed to her when she regurgitated that claim today.

  231. Comment by Pupster on December 27, 2012 9:11 pm

    http://tinyurl.com/c372do6

  232. Comment by Andy on December 27, 2012 9:13 pm

    Of course, Some Guy On YouTube can’t be wrong, so there’s that …

  233. Comment by Sean M. on December 27, 2012 9:13 pm

    Aw, Mare-y Chrimmas, Puppeh!

  234. Comment by Pupster on December 27, 2012 9:14 pm

    Cub reporterette Katie Pavlich got her ass handed to her

    That would be a nice job to have.

  235. Comment by Jewstin on December 27, 2012 9:15 pm

    http://tinyurl.com/c372do6

    So Mare ate the big tree in the parlor and is saving room for the family tree in the den?

  236. Comment by Pupster on December 27, 2012 9:16 pm

    http://dpaf.tumblr.com/post/38906104571

  237. Comment by ChrisP on December 27, 2012 9:18 pm

    Andy,
    That was NBC NEWS. Pete Williams, NOT a rookie…

  238. Comment by Jewstin on December 27, 2012 9:21 pm

    Pete Williams, NOT a rookie…

    It would take a real ass to bring up Dan Rather at this point. Hey, Andy! Point Chrispy at Dan Rather.

  239. Comment by MCPO Airdale on December 27, 2012 9:21 pm

    If it made it to Nightly News, I would think it had been vetted.

  240. Comment by ChrisP on December 27, 2012 9:23 pm

    What’s the frequency, Jewstin?

  241. Comment by ChrisP on December 27, 2012 9:25 pm

    “Cub reporterette Katie Pavlich got her ass handed to her

    That would be a nice job to have.”

    Pupster! Bad Dog!

  242. Comment by Jewstin on December 27, 2012 9:26 pm

    Thanks, Roamy, and everybody. I’ve missed you all. Things are coming together for me, and I’m glad I wasn’t absent longer than I was.

  243. Comment by osoloco11 on December 27, 2012 9:28 pm

    So glad about the Jewstin check in. God Bless Us, everybody.

  244. Comment by Andy on December 27, 2012 9:28 pm

    Oh FFS. The early (and current) reporting on this thing was awful. AWFUL.

    You can’t just pick and choose the pieces you like and say they were correct. And that’s what doofus Pavlich did earlier today … recycled an old, erroneous report.

    See also: http://www.goodreads.com/quotes/65213-briefly-stated-the-gell-mann-amnesia-effect-is-as-follows-you

  245. Comment by Jewstin on December 27, 2012 9:30 pm

    What’s the frequency, Jewstin?

    Of news reporters getting it wrong (either willfully or ignorantly)? I would say it’s quite high. Trust but verify.

  246. Comment by Andy on December 27, 2012 9:31 pm

    Great, Jewstin!

    (depending upon the vagaries of Amtrak wi-fi, this comment may or may not post in the next 12 hours. Or ever.)

  247. Comment by xbradtc on December 27, 2012 9:33 pm

    That clip aired on the 17th. Gee, first reports on a tragedy all fucked up? NO WAY?!

  248. Comment by osoloco11 on December 27, 2012 9:34 pm

    Still waiting for comprehensive reporting on Benghazi.

  249. Comment by Sean M. on December 27, 2012 9:36 pm

    Did you save up enough money to buy a shirt while you were gone, Jewstin?

  250. Comment by ChrisP on December 27, 2012 9:38 pm

    Pretty much everything reported in the first twelve hours of the Sandy Hook story was wrong, including fingering Adams brother as the perp.
    It’s not the first twelve hours anymore, or even the first 48.

    I suppose, depending on the medias agenda, we’ll never really know what happened, only what they want us to believe happened. It’s kinda sad that we don’t have “NEWS” anymore, only the PR-wing of the “D” Party.
    It was a nice country while it lasted…

  251. Comment by Jewstin on December 27, 2012 9:42 pm

    No, Shawm, but I did steal a shirt from a homeless guy. It didn’t have sleeves.

  252. Comment by Jay in Ames on December 27, 2012 9:48 pm

    xbrad, you use palemoon, right? Have you been having issues signing in to twitter? I can in IE, but not Palemoon.

  253. Comment by xbradtc on December 27, 2012 9:50 pm

    Jay, I can’t remember the last time I tried to sign into twitter.

    I logged into a disqus thread with twitter this morning no problem, though.

  254. Comment by xbradtc on December 27, 2012 9:51 pm

    Where’s Mare and her Tramp Stamp Ass-Antlers?

    http://tinyurl.com/cs5vpzc

  255. Comment by Andy on December 27, 2012 9:53 pm

    >> It’s not the first twelve hours anymore, or even the first 48.

    What was the date of the Pete Williams thing again?

  256. Comment by Michael on December 27, 2012 9:54 pm

    See, here’s how it is — if you eat off of paper plates you are more combat ready because you can jump in your Bradley and start firing without doing the dishes first.

  257. Comment by xbradtc on December 27, 2012 9:54 pm

    Jay, just signed out, and back in to Twitface on PM, no problems.

  258. Comment by ChrisP on December 27, 2012 10:10 pm

    12/17, Andy. Didn’t see that when I first watched, mea culpa. Just grabbed-on to something I wanted to hear.

    As I said above, we’ll never know what happened, only what they want us to think happened.

    Jezze, I miss honest reporting. Where’s “Uncle Walter”, the most trusted name in journalism? Oh, wait…
    Lying communist SOB. Never mind.

  259. Comment by Jewstin on December 27, 2012 10:22 pm

    “And that’s. . . the way it is.”

  260. Comment by MCPO Airdale on December 27, 2012 10:22 pm

    Then what was the long rifle that the police pulled out of his trunk?

  261. Comment by ChrisP on December 27, 2012 10:28 pm

    Damnfino, Chief.
    Perhaps an umbrella?
    Couldn’t have been a Bushmaster.
    Wouldn’t fit the narrative…

  262. Comment by Jay in Ames on December 27, 2012 10:31 pm

    Huh, it was Do Not Track Plus that was blocking twitter. turned it off, and all is well.

    Now to find out if I can get it to work WITH twitter.

  263. Comment by MCPO Airdale on December 27, 2012 10:33 pm

    May be a shotgun.

  264. Comment by Vmaximus on December 27, 2012 10:42 pm

    *Installs Palemoon*
    Looses all firefox stuff.
    This sucks

  265. Comment by Jewstin on December 27, 2012 10:46 pm

    Is Palemoon Firefox without the cruft? Because Firefox has a raging memory leak somewhere and we hates it precious.

  266. Comment by Jewstin on December 27, 2012 10:46 pm

    Chrome would be okay if it rendered web pages correctly, but it don’t.

  267. Comment by Jay in Ames on December 27, 2012 10:49 pm

    I like palemoon, especially since it has 64 bit. It has memory issues too, but not as bad as firefox.

  268. Comment by ChrisP on December 27, 2012 10:49 pm

    Firefox seems to leak memory so fast that I can play one video, before it’s fubar. And, it has to be a short video…

  269. Comment by osoloco11 on December 27, 2012 10:52 pm

    Presses 1 for English.

  270. Comment by Jewstin on December 27, 2012 10:56 pm

    Firefox is ‘toopid. I wish krom din’t suxxors.

  271. Comment by Jewstin on December 27, 2012 10:58 pm

    *Scrambles into hole.

    *Pulls hole in behind.

  272. Comment by scott on December 27, 2012 10:59 pm

    rendered…..leaks…..

    They are making soup Oso.

  273. Comment by MCPO Airdale on December 27, 2012 10:59 pm

    Anyone tried Opera?

  274. Comment by mare BENGHAZI TRAVESTY on December 27, 2012 11:02 pm

    JEWSTIN!!

    Welcome home, buddy!

    Great to hear you’re working and you like it. Really happy for you!

    Next time you drop out, tune out, and whatever else stupid hippies do, let someone know!

    I’m watching the Baylor game so I’m pretty much out, but take care and hang out here when you’re not manufacturing industrial kitchens!

  275. Comment by Jewstin on December 27, 2012 11:03 pm

    I tried Opera some ages* past. It was unsatisfactory as a browser, but the development tools were most adequate.

    *Ten years in computerland = Get Off My Lawn!

  276. Comment by osoloco11 on December 27, 2012 11:04 pm

    OMG! We just beat the freaking Bearcats!!!

  277. Comment by osoloco11 on December 27, 2012 11:05 pm

    Soup is Saturday. Ham and beans with jalapeño cornbread.

  278. Comment by xbradtc on December 27, 2012 11:06 pm

    I tried Opera a few years ago. Wasn’t any great improvement over FF for me, so I got rid of it. Who knows where it stands today?

    Palemoon looks and feels exactly like FF, but isn’t quite as kludge-y. I try to clear the history every couple hours.

    Chrome used to be fast, but now it sux balls. I tried a Chromeclone, Torch, that had a video/media download feature, but it wasn’t very stable.

    So for me, on my weak-assed little netbook, Palemoon it is.

  279. Comment by NbQuitter on December 27, 2012 11:07 pm

    Chrome sucks and crashes everyday

  280. Comment by Andy on December 27, 2012 11:09 pm

    >> Anyone tried Opera?

    Yeah, but I couldn’t hit the high notes.

  281. Comment by xbradtc on December 27, 2012 11:10 pm

    **kicks Andy in the balls**

    Give it another try, buddy!

  282. Comment by scott on December 27, 2012 11:11 pm

    NbQ, where is home?

  283. Comment by Andy on December 27, 2012 11:11 pm

    >> [Every new browser since Mosaic, with the exception of IE] used to be fast, but now it sux balls.

    FIFY

    *reinstalls Lynx*

  284. Comment by Jay in Ames on December 27, 2012 11:17 pm

    So, you think we are gonna get a vote on the cliff?

    Just in time to improve Obama’s numbers?

    I think we will.

  285. Comment by ChrisP on December 27, 2012 11:17 pm

    After Mosaic, I BOUGHT a license for Netscape! It came on 3.5″ floppies. Things were simpler, then…

  286. Comment by NbQuitter on December 27, 2012 11:18 pm

    Syracuse

  287. Comment by Jay in Ames on December 27, 2012 11:20 pm

    Heh, I remember when windows came on 4-6 floppies.

  288. Comment by Jewstin on December 27, 2012 11:20 pm

    Who is NbQuitter? Have there been delurkers?

  289. Comment by Jewstin on December 27, 2012 11:21 pm

    GW Basic. Math Blaster.

  290. Comment by scott on December 27, 2012 11:25 pm

    The snowy part of NY. I don’t know how you folks put up with that stuff. It must be really nice the rest of the year.

  291. Comment by NbQuitter on December 27, 2012 11:26 pm

    I grew up in GA. AL, & NC. I have been in Syracuse for 10 years.

  292. Comment by scott on December 27, 2012 11:27 pm

    Baylor is kicking ass. 3 point dog scores 35 in the first half.

  293. Comment by NbQuitter on December 27, 2012 11:27 pm

    Still small town mentality and nicer than a lot of southern places

  294. Comment by scott on December 27, 2012 11:28 pm

    Do you get used to it?

  295. Comment by osoloco11 on December 27, 2012 11:30 pm

    Feels bad about thinking NbQuitter was from Houston.

  296. Comment by Jay in Ames on December 27, 2012 11:32 pm

    Wow, Baylor is playing defense.

  297. Comment by NbQuitter on December 27, 2012 11:33 pm

    no

  298. Comment by scott on December 27, 2012 11:34 pm

    I wont go to that part of the country this time of year. I used to, but then I learned weather forecasts up there don’t mean a thing.

    A foot of snow can fall for no reason at all.

  299. Comment by Stark Dickflüssig on December 27, 2012 11:36 pm

    Comment by MCPO Airdale on December 27, 2012 10:59 pm

    Anyone tried Opera?

    Opera is pretty fucking great on FreeBSD, less so on linux, & I haven’t used it on windows since . . . uh, windows 2000 (I don’t think opera versions after 9.6 work on win2k, but I don’t remember, & I don’t actually care: it’s windows! you’re all fruit cups). That said, twitter’s web page is pretty much all javascript & while opera’s javascript parser is quite good, it doesn’t seem to get along with twitter at all.

    I use webkit-based browsers for twitter: xombrero, surf, & sometimes chromium (chrome, if you want google spying on you). Midori is also webkit, & I think Konqueror might be. Does KDE even use konq any more? rekonq? I’m lost.

  300. Comment by Andy on December 27, 2012 11:38 pm

    Where in GA, Nb?

  301. Comment by NbQuitter on December 27, 2012 11:41 pm

    Gray, GA

  302. Comment by Andy on December 27, 2012 11:42 pm

    No shit. I’m from Macon.

  303. Comment by Stark Dickflüssig on December 27, 2012 11:48 pm

    *reinstalls Lynx*

    % telnet 72.233.2.58 80
    My God, it’s full of marshmallow stars!

  304. Comment by NbQuitter on December 27, 2012 11:49 pm

    I left there in 74 and moved to Gulf Shores, then Birmingham

  305. Comment by NbQuitter on December 27, 2012 11:50 pm

    Gray is actually a family name b/c my great grandfather, then grandfather, then Dad lived there and they passed it down and it is also my middle name b/c of that town

  306. Comment by clintbird on December 28, 2012 12:00 am

    XB, my Chrome is still faster than all get out. Could it be some other problem?

  307. Comment by Andy on December 28, 2012 12:00 am

    I met some Maconites on the Staten Island Ferry today. Nothing like asking some folks “where y’all from?” and having them reply with your hometown.

  308. Comment by NbQuitter on December 28, 2012 12:01 am

    it is a small world after all

  309. Comment by scott on December 28, 2012 12:07 am

    Small world stuff freaks me out.

  310. Comment by lauraw on December 28, 2012 12:09 am

    Might be time to take down our Christmas avatars? I love crotch-grabbing Party Santa. But, that was days ago.

  311. Comment by scott on December 28, 2012 12:10 am

    I ran into a girl on twitter who lives one town away. She follows half the people here and her husband was tending bar the night of one of our meet ups.

  312. Comment by Andy on December 28, 2012 12:11 am

    Only people I talked to the whole time, Scott.

    They live about a mile from my parents, too. Weird.

  313. Comment by daveintexas on December 28, 2012 12:11 am

    I retired mine today. Till next year.

    Baylor put a nice first half ass whuppin on UCLA. We’ll see if it holds up. Also, where has this defense been all season?

  314. Comment by xbradtc on December 28, 2012 12:14 am

    Clint, Chrome’s not terribly terrible. Just not as fast as it used to be.

    The other thing is, there’s no download widget or tool for it. And I download a shitload of video (and no, not all of it is porn. It took a while to download all 167 episodes of One Tree Hill!)

    Palemoon, like FF, supports downloadhelper, so that kinda pushes me to use it. My connection is always so tenuous that to watch any youtube, it’s easier for me to d/l it to the desktop than to sit there and watch it continue to try to load.

  315. Comment by xbradtc on December 28, 2012 12:18 am

    The guy across the street from us here worked with my father’s college roommate at Whitewater, WI.

  316. Comment by xbradtc on December 28, 2012 12:39 am

    Kilt it?

  317. Comment by osoloco11 on December 28, 2012 12:42 am

    First person to comment on Tifw’s Rebecca Birthday link at FB went to HS with me. I hate small world stuff. Makes me paranoid.

  318. Comment by xbradtc on December 28, 2012 12:50 am

    for some reason, I can’t get FB to open tonight.

  319. Comment by osoloco11 on December 28, 2012 1:18 am

    Sorry. We are picking on Mcpo.

  320. Comment by xbradtc on December 28, 2012 1:36 am

    He probably deserves it.

  321. Comment by Pendejo Grande on December 28, 2012 2:30 am

    Whey Oso at?

    I vacation in her state and they nuthin biut brown folks here. Whadup w dat shit?

  322. Comment by Sean M. on December 28, 2012 2:35 am

    I really can’t stay – Baby it’s derp outside
    I’ve got to go away – Baby it’s derp outside
    This evening has been – Been hoping that you’d drop in
    So very nice – I’ll hold your hands, they’re just like ice

  323. Comment by Jewstin on December 28, 2012 5:34 am

    Bleargh. 3:30 happens twice a day even on vacation days. I think that’s pretty shady.

  324. Comment by Pupster on December 28, 2012 5:48 am

  325. Comment by Pupster on December 28, 2012 5:52 am

  326. Comment by Pupster on December 28, 2012 5:55 am

    Mornin Jewstin. Got any plans for New Years?

  327. Comment by Jewstin on December 28, 2012 6:03 am

    I was thinking of getting a shirt so I’ll have something besides pants to rip off and wave about when I get sozzled.

  328. Comment by Pupster on December 28, 2012 6:10 am

    You are my kind of crazy, Jew.

  329. Comment by Pupster on December 28, 2012 6:20 am

  330. Comment by Pupster on December 28, 2012 6:29 am

    http://tinyurl.com/ckpfwcf

  331. Comment by Pupster on December 28, 2012 6:32 am

    http://tinyurl.com/cz93s3q

  332. Comment by roamingfirehydrant on December 28, 2012 6:44 am

    Ugh. The one day this week I don’t have to go anywhere or do anything, I *could* sleep in, but nooooooo.

    On the plus side, I have coffee brewing, and it is decent stuff, not the shit that can strip paint I’ve been drinking since Sunday.

  333. Comment by Jewstin on December 28, 2012 6:57 am

    I have crappy paint stripping coffee. But it’s hot and fully caffeinated.

  334. Comment by leoncaruthers on December 28, 2012 7:03 am

    I have 8 O’Clock Coffee, original mixed with hazelnut. I buzzed in a tablespoon of unsalted butter and a tablespoon of coconut oil. Trying to encourage ketosis.

    This may be the first holiday season wherein I lose weight the whole time.

  335. Comment by Jewstin on December 28, 2012 7:06 am

    This may be the first holiday season wherein I lose weight the whole time.

    You’re doing it wrong.

  336. Comment by leoncaruthers on December 28, 2012 7:09 am

    I’m being self-indulgent, Jewstin. I got myself abs for Christmas. They should arrive in another week or two.

  337. Comment by leoncaruthers on December 28, 2012 7:21 am

    My Omaha steaks are supposedly going to arrive tomorrow according to FedEx.

    Excellent.

  338. Comment by Jewstin on December 28, 2012 7:26 am

    Are they good? I think I’ve heard of Omaha steaks for most of my life but never had one.

  339. Comment by leoncaruthers on December 28, 2012 7:30 am

    My sister and brother-in-law raved about them, and they know I’m a carnivore, so I got a gift card from them for Christmas. I’ll let you know after I’ve eaten a couple. I’ve got porterhouses, filet, and a cake I’m not going to eat coming.

  340. Comment by roamingfirehydrant on December 28, 2012 7:38 am

    Omaha Steaks are good, but I didn’t think they were worth the extra cost. Gift cards are nice. Also, they spam their mailing list.

    My SIL got up every morning around 5 AM and made Chock Full O’Nuts coffee. I never got used to the time zone change, so that meant the coffee was usually sitting on the burner for 2 hours.

  341. Comment by Car in on December 28, 2012 7:39 am

    wakey wakey

  342. Comment by Jay in Ames on December 28, 2012 7:45 am

    Omaha steaks are pretty good for folks that live away from cows.

    And there’s nothing wrong with paint stripper coffee. Unless it’s 2 hours old.

  343. Comment by leoncaruthers on December 28, 2012 7:49 am

    I likely won’t order more even if they are heavenly. I can get grassfed beef delivered to my dining room table for less.

    That reminds me, I need to read my copy of Storey’s Guide to Raising Beef Cattle. Almost time to buy if I’m gonna.

  344. Comment by Jewstin on December 28, 2012 7:55 am

    Texans brag about their beef, but I found it a little tough and stringy compared to corn-fed yankee beeves.

  345. Comment by roamingfirehydrant on December 28, 2012 7:57 am

    I dunno. Even a fresh pot of Chock Full O’Nuts tasted awful.

  346. Comment by lauraw on December 28, 2012 8:00 am

    This may be the first holiday season wherein I lose weight the whole time.

    *chews leftover Christmas cake slowly, giving Leon the stinkeye the whole time*

    I was so good about giving away almost all the other homemade sweets. There is not a lot of extra stuff that I made here.

    Unfortunately, everybody in my family throws boxes of Munsons chocolate around as a kind of holiday greeting, so there’s boxes of that here now. Dammit.

  347. Comment by lauraw on December 28, 2012 8:01 am

    Scott refers to that brand as Chock Full O’Crack. Every time we’ve had it, it gets us totally wired.

  348. Comment by Vmaximus on December 28, 2012 8:02 am

    Roamy I have been getting my coffee here
    http://www.coffeebeandirect.com/roasted-coffee/regular-coffee.html
    They are very prompt and the beans are fresh and tasty

  349. Comment by Jewstin on December 28, 2012 8:04 am

    Chock Full O’Nuts sounds like something a doddering old maid would hand out on Halloween.

  350. Comment by leoncaruthers on December 28, 2012 8:06 am

    I’ve still got a Christmas and a New Year’s party ahead of me, Laura. There’s still time for me to fail utterly in this endeavor.

    Don’t lose hope.

  351. Comment by Car in on December 28, 2012 8:07 am

    This may be the first holiday season wherein I lose weight the whole time.

    *chews leftover Christmas cake slowly, giving Leon the stinkeye the whole time*

    My daughter made some yummy cookies, and aside from a chocolate here and there, I didn’t over-do it.

    You gotta enjoy a little, then just make up for it elsewhere. That’s my philosophy.

  352. Comment by Car in on December 28, 2012 8:08 am

    See, I don’t go to “parties”. I think that must be my secret*.

    I’m probably going to be working NYE, so I’ll lose weight running around.

    *if you’re a social outcast, you don’t get invited to places with tempting morsels

  353. Comment by daveintexas on December 28, 2012 8:09 am

    >> Even a fresh pot of Chock Full O’Nuts tasted awful.

    It sounds awful too.

    I’m done with my “eat whatever the fuck I want to eat” break since Thansgiving. Back on the program for me.

    plus.. *holds my zippo in my hand and looks at it with trepidation*

    FUUUUUUUUUUUUUUU

  354. Comment by Pupster on December 28, 2012 8:09 am

    http://tinyurl.com/d6xux5d

  355. Comment by roamingfirehydrant on December 28, 2012 8:11 am

    Vmax, I have been spoiled by Mystic Monk coffee, but Folgers or Maxwell House would have been better. In the interests of family peace, I kept my mouth shut. It was stressful enough with the family in mourning.

  356. Comment by Pupster on December 28, 2012 8:14 am

  357. Comment by lauraw on December 28, 2012 8:14 am

    There’s still time for me to fail utterly in this endeavor.

    PHEW.

  358. Comment by roamingfirehydrant on December 28, 2012 8:20 am

    We started going through the house, getting it ready to put on the market. 90% boring crap, 10% really cool stuff. Coolest find for me was Mr. RFH’s great-grandfather’s baptismal certificate from 1879 in German.

  359. Comment by MJ on December 28, 2012 8:24 am

    My weight has gone up a little bit, but it doesn’t appear to be fat. Huh.

  360. Comment by daveintexas on December 28, 2012 8:31 am

    Re: Baylor defense. Where the fuck have those guys been all season long?

  361. Comment by Car in on December 28, 2012 8:45 am

    You know,let’s make this diet-blog Friday?

    Is Wiser off today?

  362. Comment by leoncaruthers on December 28, 2012 8:46 am

    MJ, if you’re running less and getting decent protein, you might be adding some muscle.

  363. Comment by Car in on December 28, 2012 8:48 am

    ^^^anti-running h8ter

  364. Comment by Car in on December 28, 2012 8:50 am

    I see the Paleo -cult is growing. At the stores, the paleo books were everywhere.

  365. Comment by Car in on December 28, 2012 8:56 am

    You know … FINE. I don’t need to hang out here.

    *shuffles off,mumbling to self …

  366. Comment by Car in on December 28, 2012 8:57 am

    *peeks back one last time.

    I hate you guys so very much.

  367. Comment by leoncaruthers on December 28, 2012 8:58 am

    I don’t hate running. It’s a good way to evade predators, capture prey, or catch up to errant offspring.

    Other than that it’s basically a bad idea.

    It’s a fun cult, Car-in. We have bacon.

  368. Comment by roamingfirehydrant on December 28, 2012 9:00 am

    I got Mark Sisson’s paleo cookbook of sauces and dressings for Christmas.

  369. Comment by Jewstin on December 28, 2012 9:03 am

    You know,let’s make this diet-blog Friday?
    Is Wiser off today?

    Ooh. I just commented at the recipe blog, but I’d better repeat it here in case he forgets to check over there.

    Re: Thai Curry

    I’ve always found fish sauce and curry paste to be readily available in grocery stores and occasionally even at Super Walmart. Most commonly the Thai Kitchen brand. I use fish sauce in just about every Asian dish I make.

    If you feel like experimenting, try fish paste instead of fish sauce or lemon grass instead of lime leaves.

    Also, look for Malaysian style curry paste or powder. It’s common in Malaysia (duh) and southern Thailand and very different from this type (for one thing the curry has cinnamon in it).

  370. Comment by leoncaruthers on December 28, 2012 9:07 am

    I mostly make Indian curries rather than Thai, but I’ve liked that curry paste when I’ve had it. Both the red and green are excellent on beef.

  371. Comment by leoncaruthers on December 28, 2012 9:10 am

    http://washingtonexaminer.com/michigan-gov.-snyder-takes-on-unions-again/article/2516976

    Scott, Laura, you’ll be pleased to see that Michigan continues to have “emergency republicans”.

  372. Comment by lauraw on December 28, 2012 9:15 am

    You lucky-luckies. We have no such thing here.

  373. Comment by MJ on December 28, 2012 9:17 am

    MJ, if you’re running less and getting decent protein, you might be adding some muscle.
    ————————
    I’ve scaled back from 23-25 to 15 or so per week. I just started biking again and I’m actually lifting for a change.

  374. Comment by Cyn on December 28, 2012 9:21 am

    Goomorning, cool kids.

  375. Comment by lauraw on December 28, 2012 9:21 am

    I’m imagining a giant glass case in every State House, containing a guy holding a calculator. Little hammer and a sign in front of each one, “In case of fiscal emergency break glass.”

  376. Comment by Vmaximus on December 28, 2012 9:22 am

    I ran last week also

    25′ and collapsed needing oxygen, but I ran

  377. Comment by leoncaruthers on December 28, 2012 9:24 am

    Emergency Republicans should look, talk, and act like Harvey Keitel in Pulp Fiction.

    I’ve scaled back from 23-25 to 15 or so per week. I just started biking again and I’m actually lifting for a change.

    That’d do it. Seems like a nicely balanced program, which should make Car in happy, but won’t because I said so 🙂

  378. Comment by Jay in Ames on December 28, 2012 9:27 am

    Scott, Laura, you’ll be pleased to see that Michigan continues to have “emergency republicans”.

    Heh, if AFSCME hates it, it must be good.

  379. Comment by MJ on December 28, 2012 9:29 am

    New post.


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