Merry Monday Motivational

Howdy folks, today is Monday, December 24. My shopping is done, but today still means work, a workout, and a dinner with some far-flung friends home for Christmas.

For that, motivation is needed, because my day already feels stressful.

Santa is a pimp, never forget that.

Oh, to be somewhere warm right now. Also, I need a new bike.
Why does B&W make this look “artsy”?
Awww, someone looks tuckered out.
Don’t be fooled, ladies, jumping rope is good exercise, but it didn’t build that (dat?).
She’s giving me the “smolder” look.
Yoga pants are often motivating.
Merry Christmas to one and all.


  1. I’m half-expecting to be the only person at work today.

  2. And possibly the only person at this blog.

  3. Ahhhh, nice and quiet.

  4. Drive time.

  5. yoga pants FTW!
    Christmas sneaked up on me

  6. Good morning children. Thank you Leon, great job once again. If you’re the only one at work, be sure to mess with everybody’s stuff. It’s important to find out who has a liquor stash, who is has meth for when you need a pick-me-up, who is undergoing hormone therapy because they’re still pre-op.

  7. I’m not all alone, but it’s an extremely small group today.

  8. I guess we scared everyone off Pepe. What would you like to talk about this morning?

  9. Ahhhhhhhhh!

    Pepe, did you get a package for SS?

  10. Good morning, good people!

    Christmas Eve! I love it when everything is done and ready and I can relax with a good cup of coffee, Christmas piano, decorative lights on, and thoughts of our excellent Republican leadership moving us in the right direction for 2013!

    Taste the rainbow.

    I sincerely hope each and every one of you has a very Mare Christmas.

  11. And a Mare Christmas to you Mare

  12. This may not be Christmasy but don’t forget about these guys (and gals) who won’t be home for Christmas.

  13. Merry Christmas, mare.

    This word… excellent…I don’t think it means what you think it means.

  14. I’m not sure I should ever get that high, Mare.

  15. MJ, nope, I told my Secret Santa to buy a gift for Toys for Tots, or use the $ to support a single mom down at the local gentlemen’s club.

    I’m actually surprised there weren’t a bunch of inappropriate sex toy gifts for SS.

  16. MJ, I was tasting the rainbow from the assortment of drugs necessary to get me through ANY thoughts of our administration, republican leadership, dumb ass, low info voters, lefties, commies, RINO’s and DICKS!

    Also, COCK!!

    However, Merry Christmas.

  17. “tuckered” — is that a hint?

    Tineye is totally failing at identifying the pics today. Zero matches for bike gal, smolderer, and yoga pants. Alas.

  18. Leon gets me, he really gets me!

  19. Mmmmmm. Rainbow drugs.

    I read your comments the other day about sort of faking it (I’ve heard women will do this during sex, but I have absolutely no experience what so ever in this area) with regards to political interest and pretty much sympathize with your position.

    The small political battles seem so unimportant compared to the huge challenges ahead of the country. We can’t borrow enough or produce enough to afford the society we’re headed toward. Unless we disarm, which I fear is the real goal of the left.

  20. Comment by mare BENGHAZI TRAVESTY on December 24, 2012 9:01 am
    Leon gets me, he really gets me!
    I was thinking the same thing, but in reference to the pics………….

  21. “tuckered” — is that a hint?


  22. I sent you a gift anyway, Pepe. It was to a PO Box address that I was told you use for butt plug and ammo deliveries. But mostly butt plugs.

  23. Unless we disarm, which I fear is the real goal of the left.


    Yeah… cutting the entire defense spending would save about $500B a year. That ain’t gonna make even a minor dent in the between $16T and $250T in debt this country is facing.

    You may think the left drools over eliminating the military, but you would be wrong. They drool over the idea of disarming YOU! They love the military when it is theirs to control.

  24. Sorry, nothing made it MJ, probably being enjoyed by a postal employee, or confiscated by Homeland Security.

  25. It gives me hope to read that 8000/day are joining the NRA since those horrible murders. And that again, every time Obama opens his pineapple hole about guns, there is a rush on gun sales.

    They really worked on demonizing the NRA, I like that it’s not working on at least some of the people in this Country.

  26. Good Morning!
    It is a beautiful day.

  27. Just remember Mare Ayn Rand said “You can avoid reality, you cannot avoid the consequences of avoiding reality.”
    Be careful with those rainbow drugs. The purple meth is really bad from what MJ tells me

  28. *I’m assuming that 8000/day is UP from their normal daily enrollment.

  29. MJ, how many fingers am I holding up right now?

  30. “….consequences of avoiding reality.””

    This is exactly what I was directing my comment about leadership for 2013. Chickens, roosting, feathers and lots of poop.

  31. If the DoD really gets cut to the bone, I’m going into private security. I expect the market for it to boom after we lose the ability to protect our ports, harbors, and shipping in general.

  32. Merry Christmas Eve peoples

  33. Disarming won’t help much. The other day, my liberal cow-orker found a graphic in NY times (where else?) that showed various fed govt expenditures, with amounts represented by how big the circles were. He confidently pointed to the largest circle, saying, “look how much money is wasted on military aggression!” That circle turned out to be SS. He turned to second circle. That turned out to be Medicare. I think military was fourt or something, barely a few billion more than the fifth item.

    Then he got angry at me.

  34. Ho ho ho, davey

  35. Then he got angry at me.

    but of course. How dare you let his expose his incredible ignorance without attempting to stop him, you evil Rethuglican?

  36. Hah! I’m a triple-ho.

    So I got that goin for me. Which is nice.

  37. Tushar, sometimes idiots see federal spending graphs and think SS means “Shutzstaffel”. instead of social security.

    Then they think we invented the SS (the German one). Because we are Nazis. Mostly because they are mildly high functioning retards.

  38. “How dare you let his expose his incredible ignorance without attempting to stop him, you evil Rethuglican?”

    Exactly right, every liberal/leftist idiocy always turns out to be our fault. (And it’s good to negotiate from there, we will ALWAYS be blamed..go with it.)

  39. Mostly because they are mildly high functioning retards.

    These are the same people who think pushing $1trillion into the economy and then increasing taxes to suck that $1trillion and more right back out is “economic stimulus.”

  40. When I explained that SS, the biggest drain on US finances, was a liberal idea implemented by Roosevelt, he tried to argue that Teddy was a republicans. I swear, these people are retarded.

    I completely ignorant and distorted view of history is a prerequisite for being a liberal.

  41. Sorry, nothing made it MJ, probably being enjoyed by a postal employee, or confiscated by Homeland Security.
    Well that seems right considering I was bitching about my SS gift being late.

    FU, karma.

  42. >> These are the same people who think pushing $1trillion into the economy and then increasing taxes to suck that $1trillion and more right back out is “economic stimulus.”

    It’s just the tip baby.

  43. MJ, how many fingers am I holding up right now?
    Record player.

  44. L to R: Tushar, Wiserbud

  45. I’m positive a majority of people in this country think the government makes money, you know, as opposed to producers having it taken away in taxes.

  46. “Record player.”

    HA! That is exactly what I saw.

  47. My wife narrated an interesting conversation at her office:

    Clueless liberal coworker: the govt should spend more money on **insert liberal dream project here**

    Conservative coworker:but then they will have to raise taxes. Ae you ok with that?

    Liberal: why would they need to raise my taxes for that?

    Conservative: where do you think Govt gets money from?

    Liberal: um… I don’t know. Exports?

    Conservative: **walks away speechless**

  48. I completely ignorant and distorted view of history is a prerequisite for being a liberal.

    Well, an informed view of history would show them them that their ideas and ideology have and always will lead to ruin.

    And that’s inconceivable

  49. Yeah… cutting the entire defense spending would save about $500B a year. That ain’t gonna make even a minor dent in the between $16T and $250T in debt this country is facing.
    Yeah, good point. This is why I hate you.

    I was trying to be less DOOMy considering it’s Christmas eve, but so much for that.

  50. I’m positive a majority of people in this country think the government makes money,

  51. Wiser your L to R youtube link did not work

  52. I got an Instakilt from my Secret Santa. I wore it last night when I got home from family Christmas.

    Hotbride has been ill, but it really cracked her up.

    She now calls me Hotsporran.

    Whoever is my Secret Santa, thank you very much.

  53. completely ignorant and distorted view of history is a prerequisite for being a liberal.
    I think that is only partially true. Think of the lies they make up out of whole cloth for example Mitt not paying taxes. Then they forget that it is a lie and take it as truth.
    Then there is the whole revise history thing like Reagan invaded Lebanon.

  54. We can’t borrow enough or produce enough to afford the society we’re headed toward. Unless we disarm, which I fear is the real goal of the left.
    I’m going to go full retard and comment on my comment.

    I guess I think the left is going to try for a VAT, higher income taxes on everyone (including capital gains and a financial transaction tax), a minimal defense budget, and restricted health and retirement benefits for anyone in the public sector. Basically European style government, but with the added benefit of reducing the deficit on paper, then the public debt on paper.

    I’m guessing it will take about 20 years, but they are patient if nothing else.

  55. This made my eyes leak:

  56. Excellent comment, MJ.

    Thank you, MJ.

    May I say that you look smashing today?

    Why yes, yes you can.

    *shakes hands with self, causes rip in the space time continuum.

  57. Get a room, you… one?

  58. When I heard the “I get that for free” comment I immediately thought, “prick.” This too:

  59. One of my more memorable sessions with a lib:

    **Driving down I-10 in far west Texas. Extremely sparsely populated far west Texas. Limited water supply far west Texas.**

    Lib (female Episcopal priest): Let’s pull over at this rest stop. I need to go to the rest room.

    Me: This is not a rest stop, It’s a picnic area.

    Lib: What’s the difference?

    Me: No running water here.

    Lib: Why don’t they have running water at all of these stops? I need to pee.

    Me: Cause there’s no water supply out here. Water would have to be piped in from about 50 miles or more?

    Lib: So what?

    Me: That would be prohibitively expensive.

    Lib: There should be a restroom every 20 miles along every interstate highway in America. There ought to be a law making ’em do it.

    Me: That would be rediculously expensive.

    Lib: I don’t care. People need to have a place to pee when they want to.

    My takeaway…….to be liberal means to not care about how shit gets done……just get it fucking done…….so that I’m not convenienced.

  60. Simple MJ.

  61. PD, it’s a lot more simple than that, she’s an idiot.

  62. MJ The libs are jealous of Europe. They slashed military spending because America will not let anything bad happen to them they have NATO.
    Why can’t we slash our military too? Ban the military because gun control works so well and we have NATO looking out for us.

  63. Mare: flash mob make me blink dust outta my eyes too

  64. My SS gift was a good looking bag of coffee and an ornament from Marshall Space Flight Center. My SS is a rocket scientist of some sort—any guesses?

  65. Mare, the very first song in that video you linked: i have been listening to that tune in snippets forever and have no idea what that music is. What song and what tune is that?

  66. PG, why couldn’t he just go pee in a bush?

    Bereft of reason, I swear.

  67. Tushar:,_Joyful_We_Adore_Thee

  68. PD, would you send this to your co-worker, from me of course:

  69. Then he got angry at me.


    Isn’t this how all conservative-liberal arguments end?

  70. Hey, where has Teresa been?

  71. Isn’t this how all conservative-liberal arguments end?

    Most of mine end with me deciding it’s not worth it to keep arguing against shifting goalposts or facts that aren’t.

  72. Heh, that too, Leon.

  73. I’ve lost enough friends, Jay. When I it’s time to move on from here, we’ll see who I bother to stay in touch with, but I’ve got to make do until then.

  74. morning all

  75. Thanks, Mare. I need that music.

  76. Are hardware stores open today?

  77. hahaha….Scott, whatcha makin’?

  78. Should be, Scott, at least the big box ones. Ace was when I drove by.

  79. Still can’t keep the corner bead smoker tray lit, Scott. I drilled air holes, but that didn’t help.

  80. Hello, Jen!

  81. I need lump charcoal. Smoking leg of lamb for MIL.

    Nothing says Christmas like meat.

  82. Oddly, I get along well with my liberal coworker because he has a few libertarian tendencies. He went into a period of introspection after the prez election when I showed him polling data and concluded that he votes like uneducated people.

  83. Ug. Mrs MJ is more sick today.

    Screw you coughing virus thing!

  84. You know, Scott will be very happy if Santa fills his stocking with coal.

  85. If your package does arrive MJ, I’ll be sure and soak it in bleach before I touch it. Don’t want the lung fungus thing.

  86. Mare, I went to iTunes and bought a 100 piece Beethoven album for 8 bucks. As I was telling Hotspur at the CT meatup, you can tell how much the Western civ has declined when you can buy 100 great pieces by Mozart for 5 bucks, but a single grunt&howl-fest by Lady Gaga costs a dollar.

  87. BTW, any home theater nuts here? I am unable to run wires to the back of the room, and need some wireless transmitter+Amp solution that will let me put my own kickass back speakers.

  88. Tushar, I’m right there with you!

    They call me “musically retarded” here, but I like classical.

  89. MJ, say this to your wife (with love):

    “Hey bitch, you’re not ruining my Christmas, get your ass up and make me a high protein breakfast and don’t cough in my direction or “bitch slap” will take on a new meaning!”

  90. Mare, the greatest western music is more than 150 years old. I am sure people will still be listening to it after another couple of centuries. I wonder how many artists from 20th and early 21st century will still be heard after another 100 years.

  91. One word…..BACH.

  92. Yep, Bach and Tchaikowsky are next. Wagner too, as long as my Jewish friends don’t find out about it.

  93. Jay, here is a better shot of what mine looks like.

    I have extra if you want it.

  94. Nice, Mare. You have a way with words. Must have been fun growing up in your house.

    I hope XBrad liked his present. He’s probably hung over and has carpal tunnel this morning.

  95. Also MJ, make her serve you coffee in this….as a reminder!

  96. A brass handle for a coffee mug is a terrible idea. Too thermally conductive.

    Looks like I’m taking at least today off from the gym, too tricky to make the opening and closing of my office not annoy me or others. At least I didn’t bring a giant, post-workout lunch today.

  97. Wagner isn’t making any money from anyone alive today, and the music is objectively very very good. I don’t feel any guilt enjoying it.

  98. A brass handle for a coffee mug is a terrible idea. Too thermally conductive.

    Perfect gift for a liberal relative, though.


  100. Mare, that flash mob got me too. Merry Christmas, y’all.

  101. Leon, I got you a present!

  102. Mahler. You have to toss in Mahler’s 1st, 2nd, 6th and 9th.

  103. Merry Christmas, Oso!

  104. Where’s the wakey wakey??? Thanks for letting me sleep in, I still have shopping to get done. Thanks a lot!!!

  105. Great present Mare, I enjoyed it too.

  106. Good Morning, Fellow Hostages!

    Who stuffed a dead skunk in my mouth last night?

  107. I went to a Detroit Symphony Orchestra concert of Mahler.

    I found it exceptionally dreary.

  108. Jimbro’s Secret Santa photo has been added to the gallery of shame on the old poat.

  109. George, this link lists the best:

    You can buy their best work for a sum total of under $125. Best money spent ever.

  110. Your kids might enjoy this, Tushar; we’ve been checking it out for years…

  111. Mare, I think Tifw is with the family in BFTexas until Wednesday. Merry Christmas, Mare. We’ll probably get snow in the mountains today.

  112. Cyn, I have been tracking Santa through NORAD for years too! Hopefull this year my kids will be able to understand it too.

  113. From Adam Baldwin’s twitter feed, Cyn/Tushar, your kids might like this too:


  115. Most excellent, Mare! Haha!

  116. I went to a Detroit Symphony Orchestra concert of Mahler.
    I found it exceptionally dreary.

    Detroit. ‘Nuff said.

    Try my first love, Stravinsky. That won’t put you to sleep, especially Le Sacre du Printemps or the Symphony in Three Movements.

  117. nothing says ‘Tis the Season quite like d u rounds

  118. Can’t argue with that list, Tushar. There are a few stars from the 20th century but I wouldn’t remove anyone from that roster.

  119. That NORAD Santa tracking was always how we were able to persuade the boys to hurry up and go to sleep!! Fun times.

  120. George, I don’t think the musicians did a poor job at all. I listened to Mahler afterward by other orchestras, and I always found it a little sad and heavy on the minor keys.

  121. Well, Mahler is a bit on the melancholy side. You can point to a few bouncy movements, though. Like the scherzo in the Ninth, or the faster tempo movements in the Sixth or Second.

    Hey, he was a lapsed Jew in the midst of Austro-Hungarian decline. We’re lucky he didn’t title everything like “Ode to Death” or “The Suicide Variations, opus no. DIAF.”

  122. Leon, the thing is, Wagner was before Hitler’s time. He had nationalistic and even supremacist tendencies, which was more or less common at his time. Hitler made Wagner and his music as an inspiration for his lunacy. That does not put the blame for holocaust on Wagner’s head. But I would rather not have that argument with my Jewish friends.

  123. My Irish cousin Viv got me a tin of Cadbury Roses candy to bring home for my family. I made the mistake of “having just one” on the 4 1/2 hour ride home. They’re good is all I’ll say.

  124. I did note a few bright moments, and I understood that all the pieces I was hearing technically brilliant, I just tend to avoid melancholy music. I’m a depressive naturally, so I don’t need any help from the string section.

    Also, plucking viola strings offends me. Seems like an abuse of the instrument. Mahler did it a lot.

  125. Plus, Wagner was a horndog of epic dimensions. Yet he loved silk dressing gowns. Go figure.

  126. He had nationalistic and even supremacist tendencies

    I recall, and that’s part of the mal-lesson that Europe learned from WW2: nationalism is bad in and of itself. It’s a pervasive belief over there, and that sentiment largely gave us the EU.

  127. You want to really make your ears bleed and the hair on your neck rise? Listen to Richard Strauss’s opera “Elektra.” It’s a one act, so not a huge time commitment. I love that opera. This explains a lot about me, perhaps nothing good.

  128. Plus, Wagner was a horndog of epic dimensions. Yet he loved silk dressing gowns. Go figure.

    Who doesn’t??

  129. I liked Elecktra too!

  130. I liked Elecktra too!

    That will do in a pinch.

  131. Pupster?

  132. I hear that Elecktra is uplifting.

  133. *holds out hand for them all to turn in their ManCards and shakes head sadly*

    It’s like I don’t even know you people anymoar!!1!

  134. I have not figured out my SS, but I do want to thank him/her. The ornaments are adorned on the Crap Tree and they will be part of its future forever.

    If I can convince my kids to keep this up when I’m in the nursing home they picked out, which is a good one cause I was nice to them. I hope.

  135. How’s about we discuss Les Misérables? For real, I haven’t seen it but I know a lot of people like it and the movie is on the way. Is it as good as people say?

  136. I hanker for a deep dialogue about the socio-economic implications about the musical “Mamma Mia.” I think it’s John McCain’s favorite.

  137. I’m a Les Mis nerd. My favorite song changes each time I listen. I am worried about the movie.

  138. Nancy Pelosi: Wicked
    Mitt Romney: Book of Mormon
    Chris Christie: Jersey Boys

  139. Barack Obama: Sweeney Todd

  140. Moochelle: Evita

  141. Cyn, I was going to link Carmen, but I’m a little fucking busy unfucking a clusterfuck someone made behind the scenes.

    Someone hand me a monkeywrench.

    And a blowtorch.

  142. KMA

  143. <<<KMA

    Ooh! Kinky!

  144. Off to pick up some last minute things.

    Merry Christmas, Cool Kids.

  145. Wishing all you HotSausages and Hostagettes a wonderful Christmas. I can’t stay. Gotta run some errands and get to church early. I’m singing in the church choir and need some more practice. I’ll return much later. Hugs and love…

  146. “Hey bitch, you’re not ruining my Christmas, get your ass up and make me a high protein breakfast and don’t cough in my direction or “bitch slap” will take on a new meaning!”
    This was bad advice.

    On a totally unrelated note, does anyone know the number for 911?

  147. Good day, wassailors, wassoldiers, wasairmen, and wasmarines.

  148. All alone now, at least in my area. Creepy.

  149. Leon, perfect time for Christmas pranks and hi jinks

  150. Too late, no longer alone.

  151. I used to like to hook up a coworker’s office chair to his desk with a little chain of rubber bands.

    So he’d pull out his chair in the morning, let go, and it would snap right back into his desk.

    It’s the little things, you know?

    I didn’t work there very long…

  152. Big plastic bug waiting under the handset of the telephone was a good one too.

    I saw a guy *levitate* out of his chair from that one once.

  153. Oooooo.. I didn’t know that one.

    One I did know, my friend George was on vacation during the cricket drifts, and he had those overhead storage bins in his cube. I taped computer paper over the openings with the doors open, so I could fill them with dead crickets. Then I closed the doors, and pulled the taped paper free while the doors were closed.

    So when he opened them he was buried in dead crickets.

    That one was good I think.

  154. I have a plastic rat that appears in the break room from time to time

  155. A small piece of clear plastic tape over the mouthpiece of the mic in a phone handset.. hours of fun.


  156. Cricket drifts?

  157. Cricket drifts?

  158. lol

  159. How come you guys get to play your little reindeer games, but when I cover the parking lot with nails and broken glass, Johnny Law has to make a whole big thing out of it?

  160. In Sept in Texas, if we get rains we get hoards of crickets. They’s everywhere, and can even pile up like snowdrifts against buildings and stuff.

    It’s gross

  161. Cricket drifts would be an awesome way to feed my chickens.

  162. Took a bunch of fake cockroaches to a knife show once. That was a lot of fun.

  163. hordes.


  164. Jerusalem crickets are the worst!!! Shudders

  165. I saw Cricket Drifts open for the Dead in ’73

  166. have been recovering from what was nearly a catastrophic computer failure. Thought I lost it all. e-mails, docs, contact info…. everything.

    Went into recovery mode and couldn’t even see a single file on the drive. Like it had been wiped clean.

    I was able to get the computer back up, after which I immediately ran to Staples and bought an external hard-drive, to which I am currently running a back-up.

    holy fuck, that was close.

  167. Crosses Texas off of possible future places to live list.

    No bug drifts.

  168. Dammit, J’ames, your virus almost worked.

  169. I’m not sure if bug drifts is really worse than snow drifts. Like I said, I could at least feed the bugs to something.

  170. No bugs in FL MJ? I thought you guys had tons of nasty little vermin.

  171. Wiser has learned the rule of computers. They will fail when you don’t have a backup.

  172. MJ – Put your big boy pants on, ya sissy!

  173. Wakey wakey

  174. They will fail when you don’t have a backup.

    I have an sata docking station and I had a 500g sata drive that I was using to do backups.

    About 7 or 8 months ago, someone asked me to figure out what was wrong with her computer. I tested it with my 500g drive and it worked. When I told her it needed a new HD, she said “I wanted to get a laptop anyway, keep the computer.”

    So I left the 500g drive in it and replaced my recently dead main pc with it, telling myself “I’ll pick up a new drive for my backups soon….”

  175. In two and a half months it will be time to plant peas.

    *realizes I don’t have pea seeds yet and panics*

  176. D.G. went to help her Mommy at work today. . .

  177. Oh, check out the article (link at top, but you can tell what it is from the link text) and especially the comments. This came over the transom from Jammie Wearin’ Fool.

    This is what we call, ‘political terrorism.’ But of course the cowards are sure they are safe from the repercussions of their actions. FOIA, you see.

    What they hope will happen: gun owners in these listed homes will be burgled.

    What they pretend won’t happen: the unarmed households will be targeted for easy invasion.

    What will actually happen for sure: within a few weeks, many of those ‘unarmed’ households will become newly armed.

  178. Redwood city seed company has pea seeds, if you run out of paper bags to breathe into.

  179. Hah…will just have to get to AGWAY soon to calm down.

  180. Big bugs in Florida but they don’t form weather events.

  181. MJ – You would be happy for the protein when the Zombie apocalypse hits!

  182. Jay. See 10:53

  183. D.G. went to help her Mommy at work today. . .

    Studies have shown that productivity plummets when everyone is standing around going “AWWWWWWWWWWW!”

  184. DG is so SQUEEEEEEEE!!!!!!!

  185. They both look adorable!!

  186. Cookie baking time!

    M’wah and Merry Ho Ho!!

  187. DG always looks like she’s in a great mood. Super cuteness.

  188. Snow flurries just started here in Appalachia.

  189. This is what we call, ‘political terrorism.’ But of course the cowards are sure they are safe from the repercussions of their actions. FOIA, you see.

    I bet someone with a little time on their hands (FUNEMPLOYMENT!) could dig up all sorts of interesting information about the editorial board of that newspaper. FOIA is fair play.

  190. Christmase’en candle-light service at 17:00. It gets dark before 16:30. Man, I love living at 43°N. 😛

  191. Also, Merry Christmas, y’all.

  192. I saw that Scott, and I’m convinced its because of air starvation. I have to drill holes in the bottom of the tray. I appreciate the offer, but I think I can make this work.

    Hmm, maybe shoot holes in the bottom with a pistol, just for fun.

  193. Really snowing here now. Looks like we’ll be having a white Christmas!

  194. Wow, someone farther north than me!

    Happy hoho day stark!

  195. Comment by xbradtc on December 24, 2012 2:44 pm
    Dammit, J’ames, your virus almost worked.
    I’m a doctor not a computer hacker……….

  196. J’Ames: You live on a cruise ship, right? I think I saw you play against the Harlem Globetrotters once.

  197. J’Ames: You live on a cruise ship, right? I think I saw you play against the Harlem Globetrotters once.

    Nah, he was busy buying rufies off the ship’s doctor. He had barrels of them.

  198. Let’s hope Dr. McCoy doesn’t diagnose this poat.

  199. Merry Christmas to all — wood stove going, cookies baking and Christmas DVD’s playing — it’s family time!

  200. Merry Christmas to all of the Hostages and Hostagettes!

  201. Joyeuses Fêtes, mes amis.

    (cheese-eating surrender monkey version of Merry Christmas!)

  202. Watching Sherlock (Cumberbatch) spar with Irene Adler.

  203. Note to the paleo bakers: Bob’s Red Mill Almond Flour/Meal is NOT a good substitute for regular flour when baking Choco Chip Cookies.


  204. Take the any colored meth.

  205. It helps with the paleo buzz.

  206. Merry Christmas eve, cool cats and hawt chicks.

  207. Hi fellow felon, Andy. My Glock is suppressed, and I just KNOW you have some sort of weapon that is considered an assault weapon by whomever.

  208. I may or may not have one or more “assault weapons”.

  209. About to blanche the Christmas goose for a few minutes, then back in the fridge overnight, take it out 3 hours before cooking time tomorrow, then it goes on the grill for approximately three hours.

    Then yummmmm…

  210. All of my weapons are assault weapons including my firearms, knives, softball bats, the shovel and my killer smile.

  211. Okay, that’s done.

  212. Pretty sure my mini-30 magically becomes an assault weapon as soon as I attach a 20-round magazine.

  213. I’ve heard Ray Bans will be banned as assault weapons. Apparently there is a high panty-casualty rate around them.

  214. forgot about my Wayfarers

  215. I just found out on FB that an old friend of mine, whom I don’t have much contact with anymore, is a lesbian.

  216. Lipstick or butch?

  217. Lesbian fantasy and lesbian reality are rarely the same thing. All of the lesbians I know are just like regular couples.

    No one gets out of a helicopter wearing a short black dress and makes out with the secretary after a board meeting.


  218. The only hot lesbians are the ones that marry dudes after college.

  219. About to blanche the Christmas goose

    I once goosed Blanche for Christmas.

  220. Lipstick. 😦

  221. I keep an assault weapon in my pants……………

  222. >> No one gets out of a helicopter wearing a short black dress and makes out with the secretary after a board meeting.

    A guy can dream, though.

  223. Pups, that gif is awesome, almost like having a dog.

  224. Mare, if you ever discover that you’re a lesbian, please let us know.

  225. Hey Mare, wanna make out by the Christmas tree?

  226. Mare?!?

  227. No, that can’t be right. This is Mare. Staying fit.

  228. First Christmas festivity almost done. The last 48 hours have been a blur.

  229. In response to Hotspur’s comment, I like this and plenty of it:

  230. Hi car in. Merry Christmas.

  231. Mare- what are you doing right now?

  232. >> The last 48 hours have been a blur.

    Need me to track down a bailbondsman?

  233. Thanks Andy. That would be nice.

    Merry Christmas MJ. Did you exchange gifts with your better half yet?

  234. I worked all yesterday. It was crazy. Open to close. Don’t people have their own homes they make food?

  235. I like this and plenty of it:

  236. Off to MIL and FIL and pre-Xmas. It’s sunny and 61 degrees here.

    On the down side, this is Clownifornia.

  237. Carin, it’s just my immediate family, all is done, we had RJ Gator’s hot wings for dinner, Mass at 10:00pm. Hanging out. Can I help you get anything done?

  238. I like this and plenty of it:


  239. Merry Christmas MJ. Did you exchange gifts with your better half yet?
    Yep. All done.

  240. “Need me to track down a bail bondsman?”


  241. Where the heck does Leon work, it sounds creepy.

  242. Mare, I’m good now. Where we’re you yesterday when I needed you?

  243. Merry Christmas to you and yours, hostages.
    May you all come through this with relationships unscathed and no unwanted additions to your rap-sheets.

  244. I’m sorry Carin, you’re working shifts up the ying yang. Can you order your kids around, you know, make them do all the work? Use guilt if necessary.

  245. Merry Christmas, Chrispy.

  246. Yes, mare. I do that. But you ordering them around would probably work better.

  247. I can definitely do that.

    Time to clean the house, Jesus is coming, don’t let him see dust and filth, it’s disrespectful! Cleanliness is next to Godliness.

    COME ON!!!!

  248. Whew, finally found my present for MCPO:

  249. Has anyone heard from Jewstin?

  250. TiF is out visiting family without connection. I haven’t heard from Jew in months.

  251. Wasn’t Jewstin up in ND oil-patch when we last heard from him?
    I guess Sox is still in Brazil?
    They grow-up so fast…

  252. Just got off the phone with my little brother. I got him a copy of Jake Tapper’s book and had sent it to get it signed. I was sweating it arriving on time, but it showed up today.

  253. Last we heard from Jewstin, he was day-labor in WY.

    I got an email from Sox a couple weeks ago and he’s mostly in Brazil, with a side trip to Poland of all places. Doing well, misses the ‘ettes.

  254. What about Krow? It’s weird how people drop out of sight. He had some health issues, I hope he’s okay.

  255. Heh:

  256. X
    Have the results of the Lex investigation been released?

  257. Nice, xbrad. I sent that to CDR M.

  258. That frowny cat thing is the best Internet whatever in the history of stuff.

    I love it.

  259. Hey XBrad, did you like the retro porn?

  260. Vmax,
    Still just the prelim:

  261. Vman, just the same prelim you’ve seen. NTSB usually takes a year to 18 months.

  262. Pepe, believe it or not, I really haven’t sobered up enough to go through the stack. But what little I saw looked good.

  263. Did anybody slide down anybody else’s chimney today?

  264. Gross, Sean.

    Oh, wait. That was a Santa reference.

  265. Xbrad,
    They had the weather, and the tapes from Fallon & Reno. They could have done it in a week.
    It’s the NTSB. They don’t NEED to perform. It’s not like “Customer Dissatisfaction” is gonna get anybody fired.
    They’re FEDS = “Retired In Place”.
    You know, even though Fallon continually blew the GCA on that jet, because of its speed in the pattern, they’re gonna write it off as “Pilot Error”.

  266. Was it, Andy? Was it?

  267. Jack Klugman has passed away at 90.
    But, Abe Vigoda is alive!
    RIP, Oscar…

  268. If you killed off that bottle in one night, I can see how you might be a little off today. 🙂

  269. Chrispy, he ran out of fuel. By definition, it’s pilot error.

    NTSB takes its time, but they produce good work. Further, this is complicated a bit what with having to involve the USN and ATAC.

  270. I may or may not have peeked into my SS package a wee bit early.

  271. Mj, I love it too. I screwed up my timing though and deleted it.

  272. Xbrad,
    Acknowledged, but Fallon blew two GCAs before he aborted to Reno, that went below minimums just before he arrived. He went back to Fallon and went Bingo fuel.
    Fallon controllers killed him.

  273. Oh, wait, you were talking about the header, never mind!

  274. Snausages, Sorry to be a downer.
    I just went and watched Lex’s last Christmas card. He was having such a good time, with his wonderful family, the “All girl spending team”, and Son Number One getting his wings. He was “Living the dream”. Then he was dead.
    I miss that guy.
    Hugs on you all. Drinking now…

  275. Thanks X and Chris I have no concept of time

  276. The children are nestled all snug with their Wii U, whilst papa and I relax and begin slinging back brew. Ho Ho Ho

  277. Santa Tracker: NORAD

  278. Merry Christmas all you all.

  279. JD,
    Merry Christmas to you, too, you old reprobate!

  280. Ha Ha – even the grown ups like the Santa NORAD! I linked that for Tushar and his boys earlier today. I just went in there myself and it was horribly slow and bogged down my poor little machine.

  281. Merry Christmas UF/JD

  282. Merry Christmas everybody. Hope you all have fun and have a great 2013.

  283. Thanks Pepe… Merry Christmas to you and yours.

  284. From Zeke and I, merry Christmas hostages and ‘ettes

  285. Also…

  286. Merry Scritches and Christmas Hugs to you two, Vman!

  287. Reading the Christmas story on an iPhone. That’s a first.

  288. Thankee Miss Cyn

  289. This interweb-tube thing is a pretty strange variation on the normal social-structure of relationships.
    Those of you that have been to “Meat-ups” know what I mean.
    My only exposure was when XbradTC, BiW, and I got together in Tacoma a couple of years ago.
    It was not like three strangers meeting for the first time. It was more like old friends getting together. As if we had known each-other for years. Very strange, but we were comfortable with each-other right away.
    Am I right, or am I right?

  290. Merry Christmas to Zeke!

    (and also the rest of you lovable people)

    Vmax, give Zeke a bacon-flavored rawhide bone from me. I’ll pay for it. My check for $2.37 is in the mail. Tell him it’s from Uncle Batman.

  291. You are very right, Chris. Meeting Xbrad and PJM and Will and AD for the first time here in AZ was amazing. I still think fondly of hugging Dave in DFW like we hadn’t seen each other in years, but it was the first time we’d met. This really is a special bunch of people.

  292. Yessir Chris

  293. Meeting Xbrad on the side of the freeway… hahaha! Good times!

    (PS I pushed your poat tomorrow out to 11 am for something a bit more traditional and I swear that I didn’t fuck with any of the pictures this time.)

  294. Hugging everyone at the CT Meet Up back in 2010 was like an old school reunion, picking up as though we’d never been apart. Crazy stuff.

  295. Merry Christmas and Happy Birthday, Michael.

  296. On a off topic note I grabbed a handful of Canadian Brown Mustard Seed out of my spice rack and dumped it in a 12″ pot. I did not expect it to grow!
    I now have hundreds of tiny leaves growing in a tiny pot

  297. Nice! Will you eventually transplant, or will this stay a potted dealie?

  298. Happy Birthday, Michael.

    Is it already Michaelmas?

  299. I always remember it as the day after Festivus.

  300. I have transplanted 8 Miss Cyn
    I never thought spices from the grocery store would grow. I only have 30 or so containers on my deck. 15 are tomatoes that are ripening as I speak.

  301. Hanging out with Cyn a few weeks ago was like that too.

  302. I love you guys.
    Merry Christmas and Happy New Year, to my imaginary internet friends…

  303. Agreed, MJ!

    How’s your bride feeling? Has she infected you yet?

  304. I wish I had a green thumb to grow stuff. I have tried, but I manage to even kill cactus. Stupid Brown Thumbs.

  305. She’ll be out and about in a day or two. I’m fine. I did 7 miles without much problem this morning. Thanks for asking.

  306. Hearing about Mrs. MJ and the Wiser’s being down is really starting to make me rethink my decision about not getting a flu shot. What the hey… my boys both got the mist so they can take care of me. I mean, that’s what they’re there for, right?

  307. Meeting Hostages is almost always a blast.

    Except when Wiser gets a bit grabby.

    But hey, he also grabbed the check.

  308. Where’s Scott… he’ll know; he’s pre-med.

  309. Merry Christmas to all the little people inside my email machine.
    First day of festivities is over.

  310. Are you taking anything to NOT get sick, MJ, or just the hazmat suit and Lysol? I’ve hear that the Emergen-C stuff works well and I seem to remember using it a few years back.

  311. Cyn
    I will not say anything about brown thumbs. Nope. Never.

  312. Eerie.


  314. Cyn,
    I got “a cold” about a month ago. The coughing, snotting, sneezing, thing. It’s still going on!
    WTF, O? I’m still using massive tissues and coughing-up chunks. I have no idea what this is, but I’m pretty damn tired of it…

  315. Merry Christmas Scott and Laura!

  316. HAHAHA! God bless you for that, Vman.

  317. The flu shot is crap. If you are older than Hotspur, or have something else wrong with you they might make sense.

  318. *hands Chris a box of Puffs Plus, a half full jar of VapoRub, a package of vitamin C with no expiration date that’s only slightly crushed, a pair of fresh warm comfy socks, and an unopened box of Mucinex*

  319. Cyn,
    Thank you dear.
    Hugs, From Me & Anita.
    Should I put the VapoRub on my feet?

  320. I had a real Doctor tell me tonight that the tetanus shot is crap.

    Your chances of getting tetanus are about the same as getting raped by a gorilla.

  321. The flu shot is crap.


  322. Sorry to hear that you are sick Chrisp.
    I did hear that whatever is going around is a stubborn bugger.

  323. Scott, I’ve already linked the gorilla here today.

    You sure you wanna risk it?

  324. Merry Christmas, everyone! May the Christmas cheer last all through next year for you all.
    I put up the two little Christmas trees I got last year. By next year, I am hoping my two idiots will have matured enough that they will enjoy a full size tree without trying to hang from the branches.

  325. You linked gorilla rape today? I must be psychic.

    Was it rape rape?

  326. Are Liquor stores open on Christmas day? I have run out tonight of booze

  327. I just realized that I have not been sick since I quit smoking.
    It might not be as bad as I remember.

  328. Vmax,
    Quick! Run out to Rite-Aid or Wallgreens for a bottle!
    NOTHING will be open tomorrow!

  329. Merry Christmas!!! I’m allergic to flu shots. I never get sick. Dan gets a flu shot every year and always seems to get sick. YMMV.

  330. Tushar,
    Very merry Christmas to you and yours!
    You will bring the boys around. I am sure of it!

  331. Vman, call NASA, they know everything.

  332. Vman, FL is weird. You can buy beer and wine at some grocery stores, but liquor is at liquor stores.

  333. A Very Merry Christmas to all my Hostage friends, those I’ve met, and those I’ll meat in the future.

    May the Blessings of the Season be with you and yours!

  334. Flu is about to bust a move. With all the travel, germs are getting spread far and wide. Nanokingkongvirus develops next week. Then the college kids go back and scatter it far and wide.

  335. Cyn must be working a double.

  336. Oh yeah, I’m working a double in this glass right here.

    Actually, it was time for me to duct tape some smiles on the boys as I take photos of them hanging a special Santa Key at the front door. I will make them do this until put me in the old ladies home. The duct tape hardly shows I’ll have you know.

  337. Are you taking anything to NOT get sick, MJ, or just the hazmat suit and Lysol? I’ve hear that the Emergen-C stuff works well and I seem to remember using it a few years back.
    Just the usual gummy vitamins.

  338. Heh. My grandmother actually lost a sibling to the Great Flu Epidemic. WWI brought the flu to the Hondo Valley.

  339. Just the usual gummy vitamins.

    I hear those are tasty. It’s just not fair that little people get all the good stuff sometimes.

  340. SCOTT!! Go look outside RIGHT NOW… Google Santa Tracker puts him right over you!

  341. He’s already to Andy’s house. Man, that guy is fast.

  342. I thought that was snow.

  343. Oh, speaking of Santa, I’m kinda bummed. The youngest asked if we were Santa, but he still had this sweet look on his face, almost hoping that maybe we weren’t. And yet we had this conversation last year.
    We maybe could have pulled it off for one more year.

  344. Missed the old bastard again.

    I figured the 3 1/2″ magnums would get him this time.

  345. Santa spilled his blow…wha?!!

  346. Time to beat the boys off the new toy.

    Merry Christmas, Dear Friends.

  347. Merry Christmas Cyn.

    You too Andy.

    And Oso, and Brad and whoever else is still up.

  348. I have met a few hostagettes, and I can attest that they are all very smart ladies.

  349. It’s Christmas!

  350. Time to beat the boys off

    We don’t need any steenking context!

  351. Merry Christmas to all and to all a good night! (Snow falling all around us, but nothing here)

  352. I call bullshit on that study.

  353. Merry, Christmas, you fags.

    Also, Oso, Cyn, Laura, & all you fags.

  354. I take flu shots all the time. Haven’t had the flu in years.

    Except for last year, when I got the flu.

    It is interesting sometimes to see the post-flu season CDC reports. They’ll evaluate the current reported strains to see if they guessed right. Most of the time they do, sometimes they didn’t. H1N1/09 Swine flu a few years ago was a complete miss.

  355. Roamy, Beasn. Holy shit, I love youk gfags. Fuck

  356. <<<Time to beat the boys off

    <<<We don’t need any steenking context!

    I'm glad I waited for someone else to pick that fruit.

  357. I get the flu every 5 to 6 years. Since being off dairy, it hasn’t hit me as bad, as in moving it’s luggage and extended family into my chest.

    *knocks on wood (SYWM)*

  358. Merry Christmas to everyone living in the not-too-distant future!

  359. Merry Christmas, Hostages!

  360. Merry Christmas all you loveable lugs!

    Sean and Vman, give the puppehs some skritchies from Aunti Beasn.


  361. Sean, I love the not too distant future. Next Sunday…

  362. merry Christmas everyone. I’m beat.

  363. La la la!

  364. MST3K is the best. Better than Monty Python.


    1. An official staff visit by LTG Claus is expected at the Tyler, TX Recruiting Company on 25 Dec. The following directive governs activities of all Army personnel during the visit.

    A: Not a creature will stir without permission. This includes the Company Commander and mice.

    Recruiters & Center Commanders may obtain special stirring permits for necessary administrative action through the Company Commander stirring permits must be obtained through the Deputy, Post Plans, and Policy Officers.

    B: All personnel will settle their brains for a long winter nap NLT 2200 hours, 24 December. Uniform for the nap will be; Pajamas, Cotton, Light Weight, General Purpose, OG, and Cap, ACU pattern, with ear flaps in the extended position. Equipment will be drawn from the Company at the supply room from S-4 prior to 1900 hours. While at supply, all personnel will review their personal hand receipts and sign a Cash Collection Voucher, DD Form 1131, for all missing items. Remember, this is the “season of giving.”

    C: Personnel will utilize standard “T” ration sugar plums for visions to dance through their heads. Sugar plums are available in “T” ration sundry packs and should be eaten with egg loaf, chopped ham, and spice cake to ensure maximum visions are experienced, any questions ask the Company 1SG.

    D: Stockings, Wool, Cushion Sole, will be hung by the chimneys with care.

    Necessary safety precautions will be taken to avoid fires caused by carelessly hung stockings. 1SG will submit stocking handling plans to S-3, Training prior to 0800 hours, 24 Dec. All leaders will ensure their subordinate personnel are briefed on the safety aspects of Stocking hanging.

    E: At first detection of clatter, all personnel will spring from their desks to investigate and evaluate the cause. Immediate action will be taken to tear open the shutters and throw up the window sashes. On order OPLAN 7-07 (North Pole), para 6-8 (c) (3), dated 4 March, this office, takes effect to facilitate shutter tearing and sash throwing. Center Commanders will be familiar with procedures and are responsible for seeing that no shutters are torn or sashes thrown in each Recruiting Center prior to the start of official clatter.

    F: Prior to 0001, date of visit, all personnel possessing Standard Target Acquisition and Night Observation (STANO), equipment will be assigned “wandering eyeball” stations. The Assistant Center Commander will ensure that these stations are adequately manned even after shutters are torn and sashes are thrown.

    G: The Battalion S-4, in coordination with the National Security Agency and the Motor SGT for each Recruiting Center will assign on each Sleigh, Miniature, M-24 and eight reindeer, tiny, for use by LTG Claus. The assigned driver must have a current sleigh operators license with roof top permit and evidence of attendance at the winter driving class stamped on his DA Form 348. Driver must also be able to clearly shout “On Dancer, On Dancer, etc.”

    H: LTG Claus will initially enter Tyler Company through the front door. All Recruiting Centers without chimneys will draw Chimney Simulator, M6A2 for use during the visit. Draw each chimney simulator on DA Form 2765-1 which will be submitted in four copies to the S-4 prior to 23 Dec. Personnel will ensure that chimney are properly cleaned before turn-in at the conclusion of visit.

    I: Personnel will be rehearsed in the shouting of “Merry Christmas and Happy New Year” or “Merry Christmas To All and To All a Good Night.” This shout will be given upon termination of the visit. Uniformity of shouting is the responsibility of each Center Commander.

    GOODE, U. B.
    LTC, OD

  366. U. B. Goode is a douche. Or a RINO. One of those. Both.


  368. Merry Christmas, h2. Thanks for making the internets fun.

  369. Merry Christmas everyone.

  370. City sidewalks, busy sidewalks
    Dressed in holiday style.
    In the derp there’s
    A feeling of Christmas.

  371. Merry Christmas, H2.

  372. XBrad, that story tells me that
    1. US Military can systematically break down and take the cheer out of Christmas. They will file an elaborate after-action report.
    2. US Military has the most humorous mofos working for them.

  373. Bad Pupster!

  374. Bad Pupster!

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