Nailed it


  1. Am now motivated to climb a ladder and put up lights.

  2. Excellent poat Cyn!!! Thanks.

  3. Hello! BBF redux, the gift that keeps on giving. Thanks Cyn

  4. What does it say about this here Blog that the Hostagettes have better taste in wimmin than the Hostages?

  5. Christmas lights – GAH! I saw them up BEFORE Thanksgiving day.

    Just. No.

    After? That works.

  6. Somethin’s cookin

  7. Here’s why T.

  8. *giggles and curtsies*

  9. Jimbro, that is so true. Men would notice other men only if they have a bushy tail, 3 legs or are missing an eye or a skull or something. Women basically give every woman they see a head to toe body scan that would make TSA’s scanners blush.

  10. Hostagettes rock! **high fives Cyn, smacks Carin on the hiney, misses Mare, pats Lauraw on the hump, sees the look on Beasn’s face, goes to make another pot of coffee.**

  11. Roamy, I wanted to ask you something: are there any brown injuns in NASA?

  12. Women basically give every woman they see a head to toe body scan that would make TSA’s scanners blush.

    That’s out of courtesy, really. To let them know if they have lipstick on their teeth, or that their slip is showing, or they have TP on their heels. We’re nice that way.

  13. WIth all the extra wimmens, do we get an extra hunk day?

    I’m asking for a friend.

  14. I had a dream last night that HotBride had died and I was dating Helen Hunt.

    She wanted to go to Paris, but I wouldn’t go. I said that was special to me and HotBride, and I would never go back.

    This morning HotBride told me Helen played a woman who has sex with a guy who has lived his life in an iron lung and wants to lose his virginity at 30, called Sessions – full frontal nudity.

    I’m not gonna date Helen anymore.

  15. Hostage wimmens: Lezbos most and damn proud of it! Ha!

    Okay, maybe they’re only part time lezbos, but still …

  16. I want to see Sessions. It’s supposed to be damn good.

  17. I saw a bit about that movie.

    It’s supposed to be really good.

  18. Dreaming about Helen Hunt means that you’re ghey.

    *holds out hand and waits for ‘Spur to knowingly place his Man Card there*

  19. Okay, maybe they’re only part time lezbos, but still …

    Dreeeeeaam…. the imposssssible dreeeeeeeeaaam…

  20. WIth all the extra wimmens, do we get an extra hunk day?

    whispers to Carin: Yes, but don’t blow the set up.

  21. uhuh, I see what you’re doing here….

  22. I saw some still pics of Helen Hunt. She may not be BBF material, but she’s held up pretty well for a woman of her age.

    Better than Rosetta.

  23. I’d do her

  24. for therapeutic reasons only…in a “session”

  25. Wait
    What is wrong with HH?


  27. A man walks into a restaurant with a full-grown ostrich behind him. The waitress asks them for their orders. The man says, “A hamburger, fries and a coke,” and turns to the ostrich, “What’s yours?” “I’ll have the same,” says the ostrich. A short time later the waitress returns with the order. “That will be $9.40 please.” The man reaches into his pocket and pulls out the exact change for payment.

    The next day, the man and the ostrich come again and the man says, “A hamburger, fries and a coke.” The ostrich says, “I’ll have the same.” Again the man reaches into his pocket and pays with exact change.

    This becomes routine until the two enter again. “The usual?” Asks the waitress. “No, this is Friday night, so I will have a steak, baked potato and a salad,” says the man.
    “Same,” says the ostrich. Shortly the waitress brings the order and says, “That will be $32.62.” Once again the man pulls the exact change out of his pocket and places it on the table.

    The waitress cannot hold back her curiosity any longer. “Excuse me, Sir. How do you manage to always come up with the exact change In your pocket every time?”

    “Well,” says the man, “several years ago I was cleaning the attic and found an old lamp. When I rubbed it, a Genie appeared and offered me two wishes. My first wish was that if I ever had to pay for anything, I would just put my hand in my pocket and the right amount of money would always be there.”

    “That’s brilliant!” says the waitress. “Most people would ask for a million dollars or something, but you’ll always be as rich as you want for as long as you live!” “That’s right.. Whether it’s a gallon of milk or a Rolls Royce, the exact money is always there,” says the man.

    The waitress asks, “What’s with the ostrich?”

    The man sighs, pauses and answers, “My second wish was for a tall chick with a big ass and long legs who agrees with everything I say..”

  28. I just caught a hawk killing one of my bantams. :((((

  29. Sympathies, Car in.

  30. Are you having hawk for dinner?

  31. The man sighs, pauses and answers, “My second wish was for a tall chick with a big ass and long legs who agrees with everything I say..”

    At least it wasn’t that Carmen BBF chick. {shudders}

  32. In reply to Sean’s posted youtube that I’m not supposed to watch:

  33. Poor little Bantam…

  34. self-reports of 177 porn actresses

    Reliable science.

  35. Are you having hawk for dinner?

    Okay. That right there is funny.

  36. Time to go shopping.

  37. Are you crazy?!? There’s… there’s… there’s crazy people still out there from Black Friday!!

  38. So, did you kill the hawk? or are you gonna wait ’til he comes back for another one?

  39. Ca rin, I will come install the Chicken Dome missile and hawk defense system for a nominal fee.

  40. Good morning, warkend weeriors.

  41. are there any brown injuns in NASA?

    Yes, in fact my deputy lab director is from Kanpur.

  42. Sorry, he’s from Agra, he went to school in Kanpur.

  43. I was framed!

  44. In reply to Sean’s posted youtube that I’m not supposed to watch:

    The number of people in that video (which I linked mainly because I thought recognizing some of the people might make…certain activities…hilariously uncomfortable for you, not to make any kind of moral point) who died as a result of drug overdoses and related causes seems to track with that.

  45. Ran 12 miles, ate a Whopper.

  46. Not enough miles for a Whopper. Go do it again.

  47. And then drop and give me 100.

  48. Shopping done, now I have to either go winterize the lawnmower alone or take a nap.


  49. From the “You learn something new every day”:

    IHOP adds pancake batter to their eggs to make them “nice and fluffy”.

    *crosses IHOP off list of places to go for weekend breakfast*

  50. I thought I’d warned you about that, T. They will make omelets with cracked eggs if you ask, you just have to ask.

  51. OMG I’m watching some program on Animal Planet and it’s nothing but cute animals. CUTE. ANIMALS.NONSTOP. Wheeeeeeee!

  52. Oh, Lawdy Reegis, they’re now doing a cuteness COUNTDOWN!!11!

  53. Cyn, any meerkats?

  54. Number One on the Cutest Pets at the bottom of the hour was a kitten and a dolphin. Sweetness Level MCMXI.IV

  55. Not yet, Jimbro, but fingers crossed!!!!

  56. If it works, here’s some meerkats to view:

  57. BABY GSD singing with cell phone sounds. D’awwwwww!

  58. It worked… they are hugable and worthy of this show.

  59. Crap; I missed the number one at the top of the hour, but on now is “America’s Cutest Dog”. Stand-by for cuteness updates!

  60. So yesterday I went by my local comic book store for their Black Friday specials and they had a young woman dressed up as Harley Quinn, cosplay style. Of course I had to have my picture taken with her! Here is the roll of photos…they cut my head off but, most importantly, got the best parts of Harley:

  61. Well done, Jimbro. She seems nice.

    But not as cute as these lab puppies and bunnies on right now.

  62. She had other elements of cuteness not shared with our animal brethren, however, since I am old enough to be her father, they were reluctantly ignored so as not to be a creep!

  63. Oh no; no creepout factor at all. Nope. None.

  64. Here we go, now people:
    Doxie puppy asleep on the dash of an RV… sunning himself… UPSIDE DOWN!!!

    *slips into slight sugar coma and smiles*

  65. Work was dead. Off already.

    So mad about that bantam.

    Poor thing.

    I bet the hawk was there because other prey has become scarce.

  66. You might want to consider getting an eagle.

  67. Pupster, that looks like a border collie pup, I’ve had 2 of them, both were great dogs

  68. Our hawk left and now the pigeons are coming back.

  69. Hi.

  70. Not enough miles for a Whopper. Go do it again.
    Ok. But it will have to be next Saturday.

  71. Hi, Pups!

  72. Somebody tell Dave that The Ohio State University is playing in The Game today.

    I’m not talking to him.

  73. WooHoo!!!! Poor DG has to wear loser gear.

  74. I think my car is fucking with me. It started just fine after I’d already called AAA.

  75. SHIT.

    3 bantams.

    I need someone with a gun.

  76. You should get Zelda to guard the chi…uhm, nothing.

  77. shooting went well. And by “well” I mean “they’re unlikely to find the bodies in time to recover any forensic evidence.”

  78. Might not be able to shoot the hawk legally.

    But I hear a .20ga is usually enough.

  79. Might not be able to shoot the hawk legally.

    *looks around for law enforcement.

    I thin we’re good.

  80. I had a bad ignition switch, Sean. Most times it would start, but occasionally it would not even turn over, just go click. I could get it started by jiggling the handle keys.

  81. We need to start the Xterra by opening the hood, pliers, battery, yammer blah blah blah.

  82. WooHoo!!!! Poor DG has to wear loser gear.

  83. Normally, my car is pretty reliable. I think it was just in a mood today.

  84. I can’t believe I’m taunting a baby!

  85. eight pounds of soda ash inna pool.

    ph.. BALANCED

  86. Sean, is your car a USC fan? I understand they have a big game tonight.

  87. UConn is going to beat Louisville! HA HA HA

  88. 11 point underdogs.

  89. I didn’t even realize UConn and Louisville played football!!! Thought it was too early for them to match up in BB. Only one Game that mattered today, and The Ohio State University won already!

  90. Pfffft. THE game that mattered was played last night and Arizona State whipped those Wildcat pussies.

  91. The only thing that distinguishes my car as a sports fan is the faded, decade-old Anaheim Angels license plate frame on the back.

  92. They play FB in AZ?

  93. o.O

    *shakes head and wildly scribbles off Oso’s name from the “2013 Thelma & Louise Trip” planner*

  94. >> I didn’t even realize UConn and Louisville played football!!!

    They don’t

  95. I like AZ State, they have fine coffee mugs.

  96. M’wah!

  97. Oldest nephew attends U of A.

  98. Louisville was in the top 20.

  99. Only one Game that mattered today…

    That’s right. Alabama vs. Auburn!

  100. Scott, I like making fun of Kentucky teams almost as much as Hoosiers.

  101. Sun Devils seems.. I don’t know, conflictatory.

    I made up a word.

  102. Someone tell Dave I picked up his prescription for him.

  103. Pulled pork and cheese, possibly the finest sandwich.

  104. Ok. It’s that time. Everyone email me iffen you want to be on the gift exchange. I’m a tad slow, so you all have LESS TIME TO get your name to me.


    Carin.obrien at gmail.

  105. EMAIL ME. Now.

    I’m serious.

  106. *checks email

  107. I believe you mean “conflictitory”. Yes; sometimes.


    *emails Carin poste haste*

  109. What does Santa secrete? Forget it, I don’t wanna know

  110. If Santa is secreting, I don’t want anything to do with him.

  111. Conjures up image of deadbeat mall Santa….shudders

  112. *Checks email for email from cyn


  113. Whatever it is that he’s secreting, I’ve found that it clears up pretty fast with some gluten, car battery acid, some jumper cables, a stick of Beeman’s, rainbow-colored toe socks, three lamp harps, cyan printer ink, a time machine, and a quick setting of the spin cycle in the washing machine (Downy fabric softener is optional, but does smell nice). Good as new.

  114. Check your whoremail.

  115. You don’t have that yet, Carin? Hunh. Oh yes, new email addy. BRB!!!

  116. HI PUPS!

  117. Dec. 1st that fat old rapist is going to be parading his rapy old self around town here, probably molesting little kids on his parade sled. Anybody need anything from him before I pound the fucking candy out of his raping ass?


    Bad Santa

  119. the f is your email…ANSWER PHONE

  120. Good idea Dave.

  121. Why are you always stuck dickflossing?

  122. It keeps my Dickzähne clean & sharp.

  123. Well, that clears up the mystery.

  124. Didja get my e-mail, Car in?

    Don’t make me call you…..

  125. Well, that clears up the misery.


  126. I think I look good in pink:

  127. Don’t give me compos again. That sumbitch doesn’t even know his own address.

  128. Who sent me a dead chicken?

  129. You’re not gonna start crying now, are you Hotspur?


  131. CArin-please check your email right this second so I don’t think one of the accounts has been hacked. TYIA.

  132. You do look lovely in pink, Xbrad, though I’m thinking that you’re more of a Summer on the color palette and should have leaned more to a salmon.

  133. Cool. I’ve been cited by wikipedia a second time! This time in the Polish language version.

  134. No.

  135. Neighborhood party. If anyone talks to me about politics I’m just going to end all discussion by saying I can’t vote democrat because of their tendency to rape and murder people.

  136. “Democrats are Nazis, Obama is Hitler, and you can’t change my mind.”

    Ought to get them quiet.

  137. Also, “All democrats are racist, especially those that claim otherwise”.

  138. Killed it?

  139. I don’t think that would go over well.

    Meh. What am I saying ill give it a shot.

  140. It’s just resting.

  141. Is the blog turned on?

  142. Hahahahahaha! Two ‘ettes postings showed up in a row on my facechimp:

    I like watching the birds heading south along the bosque. Until we walk the dogs at a school and there are birds on ALL the playground equipment. –oso

    Effen hawks. I hate them.

    Lost THREE bantam hens today.

    :(((( –C arin

  143. If anyone, anyone (priest, neighbor, family member, etc.) asks me who I voted for I am saying, “Well I obviously didn’t vote for that jackass, cowardly, lefty, lying piece of crap, Obama.”

  144. Turkey hangover killed it

  145. Nobody thinks twice about making a Fox News or Sarah Palin joke, why not just go ahead? You might find a kindred soul or at least get someone to stop talking to you. It’s the intellectual equivalent of The Face.

  146. Erin and I were just ( still) talking about our lost hens.

    Such a bummer. Poor little things,

  147. I’m almost halfway through the Khan Academy Organic Chemistry playlist. I’m kickin’ ass at this. And also having flashbacks to 1994.

  148. I think Carin hit me with chloroform

  149. CHCl3

  150. Is the blog turned on?


    If OceanCat or that other jackhole show up here, I’ll cut you.

  151. I’m almost halfway through the Khan Academy Organic Chemistry playlist. I’m kickin’ ass at this. And also having flashbacks to 1994.

    I didn’t take chemistry in college, but I occasionally have flashbacks to 1994 as well.

    *waves hands, sees tracers*

  152. I stopped at the first semester of Orgo. I’ve regretted it ever since.

  153. Saw a Gamo Whisper on sale at Cabela’s and had to get it. It will be Laura’s. Holy crap is that a powerful pellet guy.

  154. If OceanCat or that other jackhole show up here, I’ll cut you


    Oh come on. That would be fun.

  155. gun.

  156. Who’s warming up some leftover turkey for me?

  157. Jenna Marbles is batshit crazy.

  158. Did anybody talk shit about anybody else’s mascot today?

  159. I totally had some warmed up for you Xbrad, but then Sparky beat you to it.

  160. Yes. The Stanford Cardinal. A freaking tree.

    Vertical log.

  161. Scott,

    what model did you get? I have too many guns already, but could be talked into a nice .177.

  162. Run away with me, Cyn.

  163. I could use another pellet guy for the squirrels

  164. *swoons at Sean and drops handkerchief*

  165. No pellet guys here, but we do have sever Airsoft handguns that are pretty kickin’.

  166. Funny, I was thinking yesterday that a good pellet gun would be a nice addition to the arsenal.

    Maybe something like this:

  167. DX II. It actually kicks.

    I shot through a 1 x 4 with ease and it’s not too loud.

    Cabela’s sale price is $179.

  168. Sparky is a good boy who deserves leftover turkey.

  169. *looks it up and eschews my cheap ass squirrel pellet gun*

  170. You’ll shoot your eye out.

  171. That’s a sexy pellet gun. I might want one for the rodents and lagomorphs.

  172. Lagomorphophobe

  173. Au contraire, I’m fond of them, I just like them to be dead before I eat them.

  174. I stopped at the first semester of Orgo. I’ve regretted it ever since.

    Carbon is a whore.

  175. Yes, dead things make the best foodstuffs.

  176. Carbon is a whore.

    Without that, though, you aren’t here to type it.

  177. Roamy, I am not surprised he studied at Kanpur. Kanpur IIT is one of the top ranked engineering schools in India.

  178. Oso got the shock of her life.

  179. Tushar, he’s a pretty smart guy. He’s also figured out that the best way to manage me is to tell me what needs to be done then get the hell out of the way.

  180. I love hands-off managers. When I was working at a big Wall St firm that shall not be named, my manager on day one told me to build system XYZ. I asked for requirements and she said, I dont know, talk to the customer (an internal guy who was going to be chief user of system). When I asked about hardware, deployment etc, she asked me to talk to the sysadmin. Once a month, she would say, “I am not hearing any complaints. You must be doing a good job.”

    That was the sum total of our communication. Best manager I ever had.

  181. Carbon is a whore.

    A dirty, dirty whore.

  182. Most of the managers I have are hands off, thankfully. They have starting using squishy metrics, though, and I hate that.

  183. Not only did DG hang her first Christmas ornament today, she wrote her first letter to Santa:

  184. Hands on can be good.


    *brushes the singed eyebrows off and enjoys outdoor heats*

  186. *coff*

  187. For Chris and others who were talking about this last night:

  188. I went to see some family, and when I got home, I had a brand new pellet gun! It’s so lovely.
    And tomorrow I’m making 5 lbs of fresh homemade linguica for Scott to smoke.

    This has been such a lovely weekend; I wish we had just one more day or two so I could knock some more stuff off the to-do list, but I really can’t complain.

  189. I fixed a toilet

  190. what the hell is all that black shit around the seals? It’s worse than grease from a head gasket.

    *scrubs my nails with MJ’s toothbrush*

  191. >>what the hell is all that black shit around the seals?

    It’s called a boat, Dave.

  192. CB,
    I saw a trailer the other day about “The Making Of Les Mis”. Hugh Jackman and Crowe were talking about having to do it live, and the orchestra taking their cues from the singers and not ‘leading them’. It gave them a lot of control, but put the pressure on them too.
    I’ve been in a theater twice in the last 20 years, Once for “2016”, and once for “Lincoln”.
    I actually WANT to see this…

  193. 1. New pellet gun

    2. ???

    3. Homemade sausage

    Has anyone heard from Fat Bastard?

  194. Toilet seals? On the floor?

  195. This is your brain on H2

  196. I fixed a toilet

    with my steely glare, and it ran, whimpering, from the room. The large man who had been anxiously waiting his turn grunted in disgust and chased it out the door with one hand holding his cheeks together.

  197. no the tank to the toilet., flapper and refill valve

    Sheesh.. you stir that stuff up and it surrounds you with black.. and that’s.. ugh *scrubs more*

  198. Speaking of SEALS, Amazon dropped-off “No Easy Day”, “Lone Survivor”, and “American Sniper” the other day.
    Anita has read the first two, and is on the third. I’ve only read “No Easy Day”. It was good…

  199. Some of the CTBRCs menu attempts didn’t work out so well…

  200. Sheesh.. you stir that stuff up and it surrounds you with black.. and that’s.. ugh *scrubs more*

  201. Xbrad, that just links to a pile of other pictures on funnyjunk. I don’t think that site lets you link just one of their images.

  202. Shamelessly stolen from kbdabear at AOSHQ:

    “An Aggie wants lunch, so he goes down to a place he knows of down the street, walks up to the counter, and says, “I want a burger, some fries, and a chocolate shake.”

    The man behind the counter says, “You must be an Aggie.”

    The guys says, “Oh, I can’t believe it! Everyone always knows,” and he storms out of the place. He vows that he is going to learn to disguise his alma mater if it’s the last thing he ever does.

    He goes to a fashion designer to have a whole new wardrobe designed for him. Then he goes to a finishing school to learn all the proper manners and how to behave in all circumstances.

    A couple of months later the Aggie goes back to the same place and goes up to the same man at the counter.

    “I would like to start first with some vichyssoise,” he says, “then I’ll have some steak tartare, and then I think I’ll finish off with some fresh raspberries.”

    The man behind the counter says, “You must have gone to Texas AM.”

    The guy freaks out. “I just spent thousands of dollars on a wardrobe and finishing school! How is it that you always know I went to AM?”

    The man behind the counter says, “son, this is a hardware store.”

  203. Try that one, Laura.

    er… actually, probably better not.

  204. son of blob

  205. Wants Lauras smoked sausage. Recommends “Lone Survivor” to Chris

    I have had lots of Kolbász is Linguica similar?

  206. Is Kolbász traditionally made with woodchuck?

  207. Heh Sean
    orders assassin’s creed III

  208. Well, I guess this explains why he hasn’t been around much lately.

  209. Xbrad,
    Run Away! Run Away!
    What a great clip!

  210. Mare?

  211. >>Rosetta will enter orbit around comet 67P/Churyumov-Gerasimenkoand land a probe on it, two firsts.

    I had to read twice to confirm that the sentence ended with ‘firsts’, not fists.

  212. Roamy?

  213. Beasn?

  214. My derp is big, uh-uh I’m not ashamed
    Big like a pickle, I’m still gettin’ paid

  215. It’s always a little disconcerting when Sean’s derps feature songs on my mp3 player.

  216. Nothing like waking up at 630 on a Sunday.

  217. Leon wins

    Zeke licked my nose at 6:59

  218. My bladder usually wakes me up.


  220. Morning.

  221. Wakey wakey

  222. Two inches of snow.

  223. Just learned how to make PVC from chloroethene and hydrochloric acid. Meth can’t be too much further.

  224. We just have a light dusting down here.

  225. Comment by Car in on November 25, 2012 8:20 am
    Two inches of snow.
    Should make the chickens easy to spot for the hawk.

  226. Good morning, cool kids.

  227. Anyone seen an instance when spam hits a password protected page??


    Don’t delete the spam for now please.

  228. That shouldn’t even be possible unless there’s some gap in the way WP allows comments to be added to a post.

    My guess is that you don’t need to see the page to send a comment to the server, you’d just need to see the link. So it’s creepy, but not really scary.

  229. Leon – What’s even more bizarre is that the spam, lately, has been hitting photographs. And that’s what’s happened in this instance. You may be right with that server hit thing even with the photos. I hope.

  230. We can change the passwords if you like, but we may want to report it to WP in any event.

  231. I’m thinking both, but still doing a bit of searching. The creep factor has been magnified since it was my POL pic.

  232. Time to go play guitar at church.

    Howdy y’all

  233. I’ve found a work-around… more in a bit.

    Mornin’, Dave.

  234. Spam on Pictures… when you add a photo to a page or post, it gets assigned a “Link URL” (the default for assigning used to be ‘none’, but apparently that’s no longer the case), if, it seems, that commenting is/will be allowed on that page or post. To remove this, you have to click ‘None’ for “Link URL” to prevent this aspect.

    It appears that some of the photos in the POL page DO have a URL assigned to them, one being mine. I’m now removing all the URL’s from these photos, but the damage may have already been done.

    Two Reads:

  235. Thanks for the detective work, Cyn.

  236. That second link is old as to the way links are created; here’s current info:

  237. Thanks, Leon. Had to be done.

  238. Food for thought: when you add an individual image to the Media folder, you cannot delete its URL. The three options when you add a file to a post are above and I’m running a test RIGHT NOW!!1!

  239. HAHA! Clintbird, you turd. I deleted your comment on my images up there.

    More Thinking Food. No matter which URL option you select, they all get assigned a URL that a spammer could eventually attach to. You can add comments with the first and third options, but the second merely opens the picture to its fullest dimensions.

    However, if after you add the photo, you go in and delete the URL in its entirety (which is what I did for the POL page) clicking on the mountain icon, then there’s no linking back to the pic, and theoretically, no link for the spam.

  240. (additional photos to the poat have been removed now that the test is done)

  241. Can you “close comments” on a picture like you can on a poat?

  242. That is what the ‘Link URL’ function seems to allow for, Pups: comments on a particular image.

    Even removing a URL for a particular image still allows for that image to be opened in a new window or tab, but there seems to be no way to comment on that particular image that I’ve found so far once the URL has been removed.

  243. Well professor what’s the verdict?

    Don’t make me think yet I’m still sleepy.

  244. Further, according to the second link at my 9:33 am, the image will take on the default settings for a page or post. So I’m assuming if you don’t allow comments on a particular page/post, then none of the images in that can be commented upon.

    However… a long while back, our spam was getting out of hand so I set the default commenting feature of ALL posts to close after a day or two and that seemed to help with the spam. Until it started spamming individual images… which happened today on my POL image. *sighs*

    Nasty little buggers.

  245. Short Version: if you don’t want to allow for comments on a particular image, make sure that you go back after adding to a post/page and delete (set to ‘None’) the URL for that image.

  246. Thanks, Cyn. There’s one Load HEAT pic over at XBrad’s that gets spammed nearly every day. Need moar coffee before I monkey with it.

  247. It’s really an easy fix, Roamy, to remove that image’s URL, it’s just an extra step that has to be remembered, especially if we add images to PW protected pages. Which, to me, should be un-URL’d by default. WerdPuss Douches.

  248. Was my fat chick infected? That would have been a real travesty.

  249. She was already infected when you brought her.

  250. Was my fat chick infected? That would have been a real travesty likely scenario.

    Fixed it.

  251. Infected with pizza I think

  252. This is going to be the best Arab Spring ever!

  253. Could have been a 400 lb tapeworm.

  254. finally stepping up to the plate and making a Bacon Explosion today.

    Eat well, me heartys, for tomorrow we may die….

  255. This is going to be the best Arab Spring ever!

    Is it possible they all can lose?

  256. Tumor. Has to be. Or an internally-encapsulated conjoined twin.

  257. If Wiser dies, who’s got dibs on Wiserbride?

  258. On my way out to work I saw that fucking hawk in a tree. If my kids live me they will shoot to kill.

  259. If Wiser dies, who’s got dibs on Wiserbride?

    you new here?

  260. Make sure to turn it, Wiser. My initial instructions neglected that. You may also want to add a final 10 minutes or so under a broiler to really crisp the outside.

    Is it possible they all can lose?

    If we ever open up Fed land for oil&gas exploration, they will. In light of that, if you desperately wanted to see the pyramids in person, I hope you already have.

  261. Make sure to turn it, Wiser. My initial instructions neglected that. You may also want to add a final 10 minutes or so under a broiler to really crisp the outside.

    Thanks for the advice. I’m working from the book that the people who created the Bacon Explosion wrote. And no, they say nothing about turning or broiling. They do talk quite a bit about how popular they are because of it.

  262. Looks like some nice people removed her tapeworm

  263. >> If Wiser dies, who’s got dibs on Wiserbride?


  264. I roasted my first one based on some online instructions that didn’t mention turning, and the rendering meant that the bottom bacon — even roasting on a rack — stayed a little too greasy. Later ones I turned around the long axis to make sure I got more even cooking. You need to wait until the log is set before you start rotating it.

    The broiler step is only necessary if the bacon isn’t crispy by the time it ought to be cooked.

  265. Just got back from The Bomber, Leon.

    *two thumbs up*

  266. I thought you might enjoy it, glad to hear it was a good experience. Did you have the hash or go rogue and get the Cap’n Crunch french toast?

  267. Howdy, jackholes and hot chicas!

  268. **pouts because MCPO didn’t howdy me**

  269. xBrad – you were the very 1st one I greeted!

  270. I might make another one of those this week, the last one was good, but I didn’t know about the turning thing either.

    Now you tell me, mofaku.

  271. It’s in the comments on the recipes page, Dave.

  272. the FUCKING COMMENTS, oh fine FINE I gotta pore through the damned comments for a major instruction. Why don’t you write them in code while you’re at it?

    *all kiddin aside, it was good, and like anything you try once, you can improve upon it. With a decoder ring.

  273. well ok, one comment.


  274. Good morning, church ladies and choirboys.

  275. It’s in the comments because I’m not an author at that site :)

  276. There was an awesome sale on pork loins at the place near us. I just cleavered up three whole pork loins in various ways- chops, roasts, butterfly chops, cubes- and set aside five pounds of trimmings and cubes for linguica. Those are seasoned and sitting in the freezer to firm up a bit while I prep the meat grinder.

    I can already smell this is a better recipe than the one I did the first time.

    then my lovely assistant –

    *indicates Scott, *

    -will smoke it all up for me.

    it’s on, bitches

  277. I like it when he turns the letters around and then waves at them open handed while striking a pose.

  278. Car in, I’m so sorry for your poor chickens. They don’t deserve that and I hope you get that hawk.

    Circle of Life? I got yer Circle of Life. . . BLAM!!!!!!

  279. Laura, stop making sexually charged comments about your assistant. That is harassment.

  280. Setting up the scope, 7 shots 45 yards

  281. Scott, whose photo is that?

  282. Needs a bit of work on your shot group before you start adjusting the sights.

  283. Hey, I just found a new thing that we can scream at each other:

  284. I think Scott should zero Laura’s new pellet rifle on Sean.

  285. I am blaming the bad one on the wind.

  286. xBrad – Stand over here. . .

  287. the wind.

    That’s what my dad used to call it.

  288. pppppp….you…. smelly old poat

  289. Scottw, is that pellet gun quiet enough for polite company?

  290. Aww, poor Obama. He might have to accept corporate donations to fund his inauguration, so he can do it in style! And he bled his supporters dry.

  291. It’s blustery.

  292. Some of the comments I read were complaints that it was kinda loud.

  293. 73 and sunny here. Light breeze.

  294. Is woodchuck delicious when cooked low and slow? I’m asking for a friend.

    How about heron?

  295. I need to talk to Osoloco’s ma about making these chicharrones. I’m doing it wrong.

  296. Pupster, from inside the house, about five feet away from where Scott is outside, it sounds like he is dropping a book, or maybe chopping wood extremely slowly. I doubt the neighbors can hear or notice a thing.

  297. It’s about as loud as hitting a hammer with a nail.

  298. If you want to get the neighbors’ attention, you need a light anti-tank weapon.

  299. Ha! How about a hammer hitting a nail.

  300. *tries hitting a hammer with a nail*

    Goodness, that is quiet.

  301. I really had a nice Thanksgiving week(end). However, for the first time my turkey SUCKED. Dry. I’m not sure what I did incorrectly but I think it had something to do with a desperate clinging to the stupid, cheap meat thermometer. I blame Scott.

    If I had a cannon I’d have shot that bird into Cairo to stir things up even more!

  302. aww.. it’s ok. There was pie, right?

    Who gives a shit about turkey if there’s pie?

  303. Definitely PIE! (and triple chocolate brownies, ice cream and whipped cream)

    Everything else was good. You suck, Turkey!! (Dave, I don’t mean you.)

  304. I’m sorry mare, it’s the w’s fault. They cooked the best turkey this year, so they used up all your good turkey mojo.

  305. I made a quick pizza dough three days ago that we did not end up using. So I refrigerated it, and just kept feeding it here and there to keep it going. Today I haphazardly doubled it and baked it. The idea is just to have a simple loaf so I can cube it and eventually make some stuffing for Scott out of it.

    Naturally, this thing that I didn’t keep track of what is in there, or how much, and barely kneaded it, is like the most amazing loaf of beautiful crusty white bread ever.


    Allllllrighty then, this video has been viewed 805 million times, which means everyone in the United States COULD have watched this, and yet, I’m the only one who hadn’t seen it until today. Although, xbrad may have watched it 800 million times skewing the numbers a bit.

  307. I see that Lauraw is trying to rub in my lack of skills in the kitchen. Well then, this means war!

    By casually discussing her most excellent bread (which she rubs in took very little effort to make), she has put me in the precarious position of somehow ruining her beloved sourdough starter.

  308. Yes, that’s an old trick: letting the loaf rise in the fridge overnight. Reduces the kneading by quite a lot.

  309. Did Car in do Secret Santa yet?
    *sees Justin Bieber musical toothbrush in catalog, dogears page*

  310. DD#3’s kitten is getting his tummy rubbed – his motor is turned up to “high”.

  311. Jeb Bush in 2016? Why don’t we all just shoot ourselves in the head now and avoid the frustration and pain.

  312. I kinda miss pizza dough crusts.

    *does a Gangnam style horsey romp*

    I think Michael mentioned “Gangnam” is an upscale suburb of Seoul. Like “Rodeo Drive” in LA.

    But he’s a goof so I disbelieve him.

  313. I think he’s right, Dave. My SIL said the song is making fun of really rich people being disingenuous, so that fits.

  314. I think Michael mentioned “Gangnam” is an upscale suburb of Seoul. Like “Rodeo Drive” in LA.

    Huh, that makes sense. I kind of get it now.

  315. Seems legit:

  316. I use this excuse all the time:

  317. FTR, I’ve only seen the video once, just to see what the hubub was. And to say I saw it before that whore Mare.

  318. Jeb Bush: Because W was too conservative.

  319. hahaha….she wears Crocks.

    Not safe for people who hate crocks.

  320. it’s a funny video.

    we all did that dance in CT.

    as far as you know, those of you who weren’t there.

    *ok it was me an wiser doing the elevator bit. I was doing the hip thrusts and he was just lookin cute

  321. You can find all kinds of stuff in Sandwich.

  322. Although, xbrad may have watched it 800 million times skewing the numbers a bit.

    But xbrad only watches the part where the tattooed guys are half naked in the sauna.

  323. Yes, that’s an old trick: letting the loaf rise in the fridge overnight. Reduces the kneading by quite a lot.

    Really?? I did not know that.
    OK, part of the mystery solved.

  324. Mare, when I first went paleo, I stopped making bread altogether. I let my sourdough starter die and I threw it away.


    This bread was made with commercial yeast. A tiny amount, that I grew in a flour/sugar slurry before making the dough.

    Since I’m still making bread for Scott, I really should start another sourdough culture. That really had a different flavor.

  325. Merry Christmas

    HA! People are funny.

    No sourdough starter??? Crap! Now what do I do?

  326. I want to get back into breadmaking, but the mold in this fucking apartment keeps killing my starter(s).

  327. I think maybe the Hatfields in Kentucky were the sourest culture ever

  328. …actually, I still have kale still growing in the garden. I understand the waxy bloom on kale and cabbage leaves is naturally full of wild yeasts and lactobaccilli…it is used for creating such natural food cultures.

    Game on

  329. I don’t understand you when you talk about such things.

  330. Same is true for cabbage, it’s how you can make sauerkraut with just cabbage, water, and salt (no iodine).

  331. I come for the snark, I stay for the lactobaccilli !!!!11!!!1!!11

  332. Or how you make bacon by giving a pig a pack of Kool Kings.

  333. I haven’t collected enough names yet to do he secret Santa. Plus I worked today. I’ll j
    Have everything out this week. Before dec 1 .

  334. what? I’m in!

    Should I call you?

  335. If I had access to the TB3K at AOS, this Stormfront Asshole would be getting it:

    “Marxists killed my Twinkies at November 25, 2012 05:40 PM (idyso)”

    Just sayin’…

  336. Call all you want.

    /turns off ringer

  337. Apparently this gun is a springer. It recoils twice, in opposite directions and you are supposed to let it move. From ,what I have read the trick to accuracy is resting the barrel across your arm when firing and letting the gun do it’s thing. Holding on to it, or resting it on a hard surface does the opposite of what you would think.

    That thing Andy was looking at sounds incredible. It’s more money but they say you can expect quarter size groupings at 50 yards.

  338. And once you pressurize it it’s good for a long time.

  339. scott, do you like movies about gladiators?

  340. I don’t believe in gladiators.

  341. Yeah, Scott that thing’s supposed to be pretty awesome. I was reading some reviews Friday evening.

    On yours, once you get used to shooting it “the right way” it’ll be second nature.

    My single-shot pistol is weird like that too. If you grip it tightly, it’ll string shots vertically, although the windage will be right on. So you have to hold it loosely.

    Which is … ummm … entertaining, since it’s chambered in .30-30, which normally goes in a rifle.

  342. bitchface


  343. ChrisP, I’m not tracking.. how is he a Nazi? Point me to it

  344. I’m ripping through this homegrown horseradish at quite a pace. The wonderful heat and freshness of this sauce. There is no comparison. Having had this, of course, now I must grow my own mustard seeds.

  345. Yeah, I was just looking at that too, Dave.

    Asshole? Yes. But I musta missed the Nazi thing.

  346. Does horseradish have any nutritional/minerals value?

  347. This would have driven me mad.

    Thank you interwebs!

  348. You can get a DVD player with internet access. Who knew?

    Plus, they’re now the size of a fucking iPad. Well, a little bit thicker, but really tiny.

  349. mare, I’ve not see that video either.

  350. *where the hell did my ‘n’ go*

  351. >> You can get a DVD player with internet access. Who knew?

    Yeah, we just got a couple of the Sony Blu-Rays that hook to Amazon, Netflix, Pandora, etc.


  352. Cable is doomed.

  353. Dava, Andy,
    It’s Hector, Mega, Kilgore Trout who’s been hanging around for about a week.
    He’s broken it off now. Some of were watching to see how long he would stick with “Neocon, Socon, Theocrat, before he reverted to his patented “Nativist”. Once he had blown his cover, he went home.

  354. Yeah, the remote for this Sony Bluray has a fucking Netflix button built right on it.

  355. I Binged the hash and even then didn’t see anything bannable.

  356. Isn’t Kilgore trout one of the lizard’s hemorrhoids?

  357. Apparently Santa is bringing the TiFWs an Internet-compatible BR system for Christmas. “He” sent me an e-mail from work asking if I liked it…..

    Anyone else think that GO’s Christmas avatard looks like Bing Crosby on the “White Christmas” album cover?

  358. beasn:

    I used white vinegar to stabilize it, but the naturally fermented preparation probably has more easily-assimilable vitamins in it.

  359. Right, HS. I have this one:

    Another nice thing about it is that it uses the same menu layout as the PS3. Super easy to set up and use.

  360. I’d rather cut off my own penis & feed it to a rat, than buy a sony *spit* product.

  361. I’m sorry. I shouldn’t be so hostile about kiddie toys.

  362. Jewstin is feeling a bit frisky

  363. Is Jewstin on facechimp?

  364. Andy, that’s the same one I bought. $90 at Best Buy. I’m sure I could have found it cheaper somewhere, but I hate shopping.

    Remember when DVD players were $300?

  365. I think Michael mentioned “Gangnam” is an upscale suburb of Seoul. Like “Rodeo Drive” in LA.

    But he’s a goof so I disbelieve him.

    Michael has been to Seoul about 18 times (I counted my passport stamps once), including the Gangnam district (not suburb).

  366. Thanks laura. I was wondering since I could never stand the stuff before now. Now, I feel like I need it on whatever meat (SYWM) is made for dinner.

    Maybe we’ll grow our own this next year.

  367. BTW, I also tried to post at the recipe site. I was going to share my newly created recipe for Michael’s Turkey Flied Lice, but could not do so.

  368. Your Blu-Ray also has a port for your iTunes collection if you look for it, so you can use the home sound system to play songs off of your iPod or iPhone.

  369. My horseradish grows great, I’ve never actually harvested it. Same with the rhubarb (I give it to a neighbor).

  370. Cool, Mikey. I will check that out.

    No more babysitting the CD player when entertaining.

  371. Just clickedmthis link at AoS, I can be over the border and back by 1600, time to enter the black market…

  372. clicked on this

  373. beasn, I have heard of horseradish cravings before. You are probably missing some vitamin or trace mineral.

  374. >> Remember when DVD players were $300?

    Yup. Now they practically give ’em away.

  375. *remembers my $600 VHS VCR

  376. if you’re pregnant

  377. I LOVE horseradish. And your discussion of it makes me envious that I have a back yard that still looks like a prison yard (with grass). Spent the moolah on the interior decorating… spring…..the back yard!!

  378. Mare’s in jail?

  379. Did anybody have a premonition of anybody else’s untimely death today?

  380. >> Did anybody have a premonition of anybody else’s untimely death today?

    Oddly, yes.

    And I liked you too.

  381. Mare, I just checked and horseradish grows well in most parts of TX. It can become an invasive weed- even if you dig it up every year, you usually end up spreading it instead of just harvesting it.

    The advice is to corral it from spreading, by growing it in a partially submerged container with the bottom cut out. TX horseradish needs afternoon shade in Summer, so map your sun exposure and situate your container with that in mind.

  382. The missus threatened me with death a few times today — it’s that time of the month again.

  383. Spent the moolah on the interior decorating… spring…..the back yard!!

    I think it’s safe to say we are of opposite mindsets…been here almost fifteen years and still haven’t gotten around to doing much to the interior.

    Garden is kicking ass, though


    *sets self on fire*


  385. >> Did anybody have a premonition of anybody else’s untimely death today?

    If by “premonition” you mean “premeditation” then sure.

    **looks at Scott**

  386. Jesus you fell for that?


    *rakes up more wildly out of control horseyradishes*

  387. I’m making an experimental dish in the crock pot for this week’s lunch.

    I call it “sausage stew”.

  388. Laura, it’s a funny thing, we had one of our daughters here this weekend (the other had to work) and she was so complimentary of our house. How cozy and beautiful it was to her. She even texted our older daughter and said how much she loved our house.

    THAT is why we focused on the interior first. Even though we are both outdoor livers, we knew we wanted the house to be a “home” for the times our girls come home (pretty rare).

    But to be honest, looking in our back yard makes me depressed and has to be dealt with for aesthetics sake, if nothing else. But we plan on a garden, water feature and fireplace. Much like most men, my husband loves building and sitting around a fire.

  389. Much like most men, my husband loves building and sitting around a fire.


  390. But there is no question, I WILL have horseradish next year!

  391. You don’t like fires, Sean?

  392. **sets Sean on fire**

    No, Mare, he doesn’t.

  393. Has he set his beard on fire yet, Mare?

  394. Not yet, Leon, but give it time, give it time.

  395. I made my kids work in the yard

  396. If Sean had a horrible home fire experience I’m sorry to have brought it up. On the other hand, even I enjoy building and sitting around a fire.

  397. Read upthread to 8:09, mare. I like fire just fine–it’s the skin grafts I can’t stand,

  398. Ahhhhh, Sean is a witch finder…slash…burner and oddly a self burner.

  399. What kind of water feature Mare?

  400. Dear Xmom,

    The Dustbuster is NOT a wet/dry vacuum. The new one should get here in two days.

  401. Scott, most likely one of those blue cheap kiddie pools with a hose laying across it.

  402. Lots of old household appliances will hold water.

  403. the best water feature is a pool with a spa

  404. In TX, you need an outdoor kitchen.

    I envision a brick wood burning oven, in an area defined by terra cotta pavers, shaded by grapevines…two potted lemon trees stand sentinel at the arbor’s entrance.

  405. Movie themes at the orchestra tonight. Very fun, but my gayness quota for 2013-2019 has been reached.

  406. You pretty much described Michael’s outdoor cookin place.

    It’s awesome.

  407. “the best water feature is a pool with a spa”

    We’ve had that and agree.

    But here, in Texas, we’ve decided to skip the pool/spa and use that money to travel during the HOT, HOT, HOT Texas summer. 10-11 weeks this summer.

  408. You pretty much described Michael’s outdoor cookin place.

    Michael is Italian?

  409. Lauraw, I’ll get more info from my mom on chicharrones. Sunday is casino day, so I’ll call her mañana.

  410. I could live in Michael’s cookin place, all it needs is a TV and a nice couch.

  411. Scott, were you hear during the summer? And if Michael has a misting system then I can understand you’re wanting to live there full time.

  412. Scott’s seen it. Did I get it right?

  413. here

  414. I’ve seen pictures of Michael’s outdoor space and think it’s really, really beautiful/functional/awesome.

  415. Placeholder poat until Masculine Manhands Monday is up.

  416. “I’ve seen pictures of Michael’s outdoor space and think it’s really, really beautiful/functional/awesome.”

    AND, It has lions that puke on cue!

  417. We have a few months every year where it sucks to go outside.

    In Texas if you have shade and water you are fine.

    Here, water is a solid and shade just makes it worse.

  418. I replaced the ceiling light fan combo unit in the family room, Mrs. Pupster has been complaining about it (in a nice way) for 8 years.

    *checks again*

    Nothing is on fire so I suppose I get some man points to make up for being so lazy the rest of this long weekend.

  419. “In Texas if you have shade and water you are fine.”

    Ahhh, have you been here in July, August (actually several months)? Shade is 100 degrees. And you have to work to keep a pool cool. But I like your intrepid nature.

  420. Hi Mare!

  421. 3/4 of the TiFW ancestral families have deep Texas roots (we’re 5th & 6th generation Texans – my Mom’s family is the odd one out). I can’t even begin to imagine how they handled the heat before A/C.

  422. water and shade.

    how do you know this? Also parking your truck under an oak tree.

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