Big Boob Friday™

Good afternoon, RomneyPhones.

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Cyn and I wrote this song way back in 1987. We’d been living in Hollywood for a few months when we ran into a guy that called himself Axl. I developed a pretty strong addiction to huffing Aquanet, and Cyn…well Cyn was called Sin back then IYKWIMAITYD. In order to keep ourselves stocked up on hair care products and meth, but mostly hair care products, we decided to write a few songs for our new friend Axl and his buddies Slash, what’s his name, that other guy, and that dude that plays the drums.

Cyn wrote the first part:

If I say I don’t need anyone
I can say these things to you
‘Cause I can turn on anyone
Just like I’ve turned on you
I’ve got a tongue like a razor
A sweet switchblade knife
And I can do you favors
But then you’ll do whatever I like.

I responded with the chorus:

Here I am
And you’re a Rocket Queen
I might be a little young
But Honey I ain’t naive
Here I am
And you’re a Rocket Queen oh yeah
I might be too much
But honey you’re a bit obscene.

Cyn:

I’ve seen everything imaginable
Pass before these eyes
I’ve had everything that’s tangible
Honey you’d be surprised
I’m a sexual innuendo
In this burned out paradise
If you turn me on to anything
You better turn me on tonight.

I don’t really remember anything after that. I woke in the hospital a few days later, apparently brought in by someone calling themselves Mrs. Robinson. Or so the doctors told me.

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This week’s model has probably been here before, but it’s not like you guys/gals would remember. Most of you don’t remember how you got in front of the computer, let alone what happened a few weeks or months ago. Anywho, please give a 47% welcome to 100% of Sophie Howard!!!!!!!!!

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Anyone who doesn’t feel up to taking the test will be excused as long as you volunteer to clean the soiled latex hoses, masks, and bodysuits. Ok! So everyone’s here then. Eyes on you own paper!

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48 BC – Pompey the Great is assassinated on the orders of King Ptolemy of Egypt.

1066 – William the Bastard (as he was known at the time) invades England beginning the Norman Conquest.

1448 – Christian I is crowned king of Denmark.

1787 – The newly completed United States Constitution is voted on by the U.S. Congress to be sent to the state legislatures for approval.

1919 – Race riots begin in Omaha, Nebraska, US.

1928 – The U.K. Parliament passes the Dangerous Drugs Act outlawing cannabis. (the dude, like that’s your opinion, man)

1950 – Indonesia joins the United Nations.

1995 – Bob Denard and a group of mercenaries take the islands of Comoros in a coup.

2008 – SpaceX launches the first private spacecraft, the Falcon 1 into orbit.

2012 – Two guys in Oakland tape two kids trying to cool off in a bucket.

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