Mutha Forkin’ Bootleg Grey Hurr

When I decided to run for President, I had significantly fewer grey hairs than I do today. –BHO

*

Winning argument for anyone that isn’t already voting for Obama, below.

 

355 Comments

  1. Take that, Slublog!!!

  2. At least the article didn’t include the proximity to the nearest Church of Latter Day Saints and suppose a Mormon connection.

    I bet the teens were farking teabaggers.

  3. *cough*

    Makes no comment about 404, figuring it will be fixed shortly.

    *waits*

  4. 404? Huh?

  5. Second link. 404.

    *waits*

    It may have already loaded into your ‘puter or something I don’t understand, but it’s 404 up there for me.

  6. HTTP 404 – comment not found

  7. HTTP 404 — Alvin Green not found.

  8. HTML is hard.

  9. FailBlog

  10. Slublog’s legacy – intact!

  11. We only have ourselves to blame for this poat.

  12. I am not responsible for this.

  13. You people–I said it–are way too picky. Consequently, Michelle thinks that his grey hair is evidence enough of his hard work, and therefore he deserves reelection.

  14. Dangit, forgot my gym clothes. That’s what I get for washing them.

  15. If grey hurr qualifies one for re-election, what does my white hurr qualify for me? Empress? I could live with that.

    *hand hovers over nuke case*

    From orbit.

    Like a boss.

  16. Who needs gym clothes. Work out in your underpants.

  17. Beasn for President!

  18. Guess who has to take a kid to the Dr. with swollener neck glands than yesterday’s swollen?

    *points to self*

    And I hear we won’t get any rain for another 86 years.

  19. Who needs gym clothes. Work out in your underpants.

    1) PowerHouse would frown on that
    2) deadlifts today, I need a little armor for my thighs

  20. Roamy, my husband does not agree with your statement. Makes him nervous. Don’t know why as I would spare him.

  21. Sorry you have to take your kid to the Dr. I can’t seem to shake this bug.

  22. Bloomberg is out of his f*cking mind.

  23. Roamy I hope you start feeling better soon. Put your feet up.

    I wouldn’t be taking beasnette to the Dr. if it weren’t for her glands. We told her it was from kissing boys and I’m beginning to wonder. Though she doesn’t have ALL the symptoms of mono. The tiredness started 5 days ago, the throat and swollen glands, yesterday. No fever (that I know of).

  24. Roamy, my husband does not agree with your statement. Makes him nervous. Don’t know why as I would spare him.

    He just doesn’t want to be First Lady. He’d have to hob-nob with Michelle at the inauguration.

  25. Are they sure those things are bras? The picture looks like the bodice part of a shift.

  26. I got mono when I was 12, not from kissing…swearsies.

  27. Never had it. My wife claims to have had it for most of her adult life.

  28. What symptoms did you have and how long did you have it?

  29. No gland problems here, just fever, sore throat, and mutha forkin’ bootleg cough that won’t quit. I’ve pulled some muscles coughing.

  30. Uh-oh. Cops shot and killed a black teen in Tampa. His name is Jayvon (no kidding). Only difference was he was armed, ran from police, then confronted them, but I don’t really expect that to matter.

    The local protests and rallies are already starting.

  31. His name is Jayvon (no kidding).

    There really is a God. With a sense of humor. He likes tweeking us dumbasses.

  32. Does he look like an Obama-child?

  33. To the best of my recollection, I had no appetite, swollen neck glands, and lethargy…slept a lot more than was usual for me. Sore throat was the first symptom that got me to the doctor, but it didn’t last too long.

    Of course when I realized mono let me stay home from school, I milked it big time…spent almost 3 months getting my assignments and tests delivered to me by a substitute teacher once a week.

    Ate nothing but vanilla milkshakes and vegetated on the couch all day watching soap operas and game shows. Best 3 months ever.

    If the INTERNET had been around, or if we would have had cable TV I’d probably still be on the same couch.

  34. Heh. Furry Olympics.

    http://tinyurl.com/bmejf97

  35. Uh-oh. Cops shot and killed a black teen in Tampa. His name is Jayvon (no kidding).

    *puts on Hoodie.

    We are all Jayvon

  36. Does he look like an Obama-child?
    —————————
    Not quite. I don’t think Obama will be claiming him as a child.

    http://is.gd/y57X1v

  37. If the INTERNET had been around, or if we would have had cable TV I’d probably still be on the same couch.

    Heh. Your story made beasnette laugh.

    Though now she’s in there fretting over the possibility of getting her blood drawn. She’s a big time wuss. I better bandage my healing smashed thumb back up in the event she grabs the wrong hand.

  38. Hahahahahaha, Beasn, I can’t decide which one I like more, the gymnastics or the hurdles.

  39. “The protest is in response to the shooting death of Javon Neal, 16, who police say ran from police up a stairwell then whirled around brandishing a pistol grip, pump-action shotgun before police shot him.”

    Protesting what?

  40. Roamy, the track one…..they look like zombies. Poor zombie piggies.

  41. did somebody say gland?

  42. His parents don’t believe he had a gun, even though it was recovered at the scene.

    “I can’t see my son toting around no gun. I can’t see that.”

  43. Ghee! **tosses fourteen cornhole bags in general direction**

  44. Tuesday. Ugh. It burns.

  45. I’ve just learned it’s National Tequila Day. Things are looking up!1!!

  46. Like Beetlejuice, say ‘swollen gland’ three times and look who shows up.

  47. Okay, time for ‘swabbing’ and ‘drawing’.

    bbl

  48. I had mono my first summer of college – no fun. Haven’t been quite the same since, healthwise. Mostly I remember the TIRED – it wiped me out for the entire summer.

    Found out recently that a LOT of people with (undiagnosed) Celiac Disease get it – most people’s immune systems keep them from getting it. Don’t know why – just putting it out there….. :P

  49. Not quite. I don’t think Obama will be claiming him as a child.

    ZOMG, an authentic black person. Those fucking cops are going down.

  50. “I can’t see my son toting around no gun. I can’t see that.”

    It’s actually physically impossible to tote around a “no gun.”

  51. That’s why he can’t see it.

  52. Scott, nice to know that there is another racist on this blog.

  53. Because only blacks use double negatives?

  54. I ain’t no racist.

    I think MJvon might be though

  55. I had mono when I was 19. Very tired, not much fever. Developed secondary infections from it, strep throat, and later Hepatitis B. Definitely need to get the kid checked, mono weakens your immune system and all sorts of other crap can kick you in the butt.

    also JUSTICE FOR RAYOVAC!

  56. It’s actually physically impossible to tote around a “no gun.”

    Yep. Her statement is a tautology.

  57. Because only blacks use double negatives?

    Well, not really.

    It’s more a characteristic of Baptists in general.

  58. Glad you’re feeling better these days, Dayvon.

  59. Code Pink is on the move:

    Together, we will bring our resilient, creative, powerful vaginas to Republican fundraisers and to the convention hall.

    The vaginal convergence starts on August 26th.
    These women are certifiable….
    http://codepink.org/article.php?id=6178

  60. My vagina can beat up your vagina any day.

  61. I’m strongly in support of “resilient, creative, powerful vaginas.”

    Pretty sure that most guys would agree with this.

  62. Missed one Michael http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Ini98RV2r9Y

  63. Dang, Scott, that one is good. I’m going to post it. It’s the mass chorus of kids that makes it good.

  64. So Elizabeth Warren makes her speech about “There is nobody in this country who got rich on his own. Nobody.” back in September of last year, and *now* she’s trying to walk it back? Poll numbers not going your way, ya socialist scum?

  65. We need to harness vagina power.

    *giggles at car name possibilities*

  66. Vaginas are scarry.

  67. Vaginas are scarry.

    I do NOT want to know what va-jay-jays you have been looking at lately…..

  68. Only if they’ve had surgery.

  69. I think MJvon might be though
    ———————-
    *Takes off hoodie.

    Wearing this thing in Florida during the summer is enough to make a person want to shoot a cracker.

    Yep, I’m racist.

  70. I do NOT want to know what va-jay-jays you have been looking at lately…..

    Mostly his own, I bet.

  71. The lefties on facebook must be really depressed when they only thing they are posting about is Chik-fil-a. I almost feel bad for them.

  72. Yep, I’m racist.

    yes. we know. you’ve told us repeatedly about all the races you’ve competed in.

    Get over yourself already.

  73. Mostly his own, I bet.

    Well, I guess there would be significant scarring after that kind of surgery.

  74. Great video, Scott – that little gal has got some serious pipes!

  75. Wiservon, where the hell ya been?

  76. Vaginas are scarry.

    Yes.

  77. Wiservon, where the hell ya been?

    the usual….vacationing in Nantucket, trying to avoid bankruptcy…

    Heard you all had a great weekend at Car In’s. Sorry I missed it.

  78. meanwhile, noon meeting postponed, 1pm meeting not started yet, figured I’d stop in and see if you all were discussing anything interesting.

    can’t say I’m surprised….

  79. figured I’d stop in and see if you all were discussing anything interesting.

    can’t say I’m surprised….

    Vaginas aren’t interesting?

  80. We missed you too, Wiser. Hang in there.

    Don’t worry, we talked about you a lot, so it was like you were there.

  81. Mare too.

  82. we talked about you a lot, so it was like you were there.

    My absence may be obvious, but my presence lingers on….

    I don’t even know what that means….

    Vaginas aren’t interesting?

    meh. You seen one, you want to see them all.

    Well, almost all.

    http://tinyurl.com/cyqz37u

  83. Vaginas aren’t interesting?

    Not to Wiserbud.

  84. We missed everyone who didn’t come.

  85. Vaginavon!

  86. Vaginas are scarry.

    I think you meant to say “scary.” Try to get your spelling right.

    Also, not all vaginas are scary. You just need to be alert for the girls who have vaginas with teeth, which is a serious risk if they are pissed off at you.

  87. GAH!

  88. We missed everyone who didn’t come.

    We did?

    Oh, yeah, we did.

  89. We had clams.

  90. We missed everyone who didn’t come.

    What makes you think you know what happened to me in Nantucket?

  91. We had clams.

    we had lobster

  92. We did?

    Oh, yeah, we did.

    YES, we did. ANd I have the extra beer and alcohol to prove it.

  93. Don’t look, Dave. It will be alright. The scary va-jay-jay will be gone soon.

  94. I think you meant to say “scary.”

    And it’s just this kind of insightful, intelligent analysis that has made Michael the “go-to” person for anyone who has found a finger in their soda and is looking for compensation.

  95. My daughter is doing that thing to me right now that Lauraw talked about.

  96. Comment by daveintexas on July 24, 2012 12:51 pm

    GAH!

    made ya look.

  97. We had clams.
    we had lobster

    I was just trying to tie into the theme of the thread.

  98. I was just trying to tie into the theme of the thread.

    well stop.

  99. I was just trying to tie into the theme of the thread.

    This thread has a theme?

  100. This is pitch perfect. They wanted an election about choices instead of a referendum on President Greene. Here’s the choice, soon to be copied by EVERYONE running against a democrat this year.

    http://is.gd/Q6smtz

  101. Don’t post stuff about Alvin Greene. It’s a Rosetta-magnet.

  102. MJ, are you going to fix the 404 or is the joke on us?

  103. What 404?

  104. You can see Alvin, correct?

  105. I see Alvin, but the second image is a 404.

  106. Roamy, don’t let him fuck with you.

  107. Oh, I see. I’ll fix it.

  108. That’s a GOOD ad, MJ – hopefully other R’s will use the first part and tailor it to their own campaigns.

  109. The second picture is of Hotspur and Scott behind the chicken coop.

    NTTAWWT

  110. Fixed.

  111. Oh, and I have been informed that tonight’s menu will be Meatloaf, Garlic Mashed Potatoes, and Broccoli.

    Yeah, The Boy isn’t gonna get her back…… :P

  112. Thanks for the well wishes Hotspur, it’s coming along. Seems slow at times but the PTs all say I’m ahead.

    >> made ya look

    You lousy motherfucker.

  113. Hostage community theater: scene, steak n shake
    Mrs Jay: what’s going on? What are they talking about?
    Jay: vaginas.
    Mrs Jay: why?
    Jay: because they’re weird

    Fin

  114. Oh, man. They have the best fries and fake cheese sauce.

  115. Seriously, before last weekend had anyone ever encountered cashews in a potato salad?

  116. *raises hand

  117. Is it just me or has Scott’s avatar gotten less crazy looking?

  118. *looks around. Sees not another hand raised

    *lowers hand quietly.

  119. Okay, I’m just gonna say this since nobody else around here has pointed it out thus far…

    The Joker has GREEN hair, you fucking asshole.

  120. 1% potato salad.

  121. Chicken salad, yes, potato salad, no.

  122. The Joker has GREEN hair, you fucking asshole.

    LOL.

    I was reading a piece about how everyone at the prison he was taken to wanted to kill him that night. No wonder he looked a tad “out of it” at the court appearance

  123. When did we have potato salad?

  124. “The Joker has GREEN hair, you fucking asshole.”

    HAHAHA….I’m laughing because I’ve looked at the picture of that weirdo several times and could not figure out why he didn’t look like the “joker.”

  125. When did we have potato salad?

    Friday night.

  126. The jailers should have accidently put joker boy in a general holding cell. It’s easier to apologize than to make us pay for his ass for the rest of his life.

  127. You mean the secret potato salad that Carin, Scott and Laura hid from you?

  128. Friday night, with the turkey and chicken.

    I had never seen that before.

    It was good.

  129. It just seemed wrong.

  130. Man, this guy is funny:

    David Burge ‏@iowahawkblog
    I’d have more confidence in the TSA if they didn’t put those “No Fat Chicks” bumper stickers on the body scanners.
    Expand
    Reply Retweet Favorite

  131. It just seemed wrong.

    Lol.

    It does seem wrong, but I like it. My sister started making that salad a few years back. I forgot, but I also like fresh corn kernels in it.

  132. Well, post it at hostagerecipes, please.

  133. Yes, Carin, please post that recipe. It was so yummy.

  134. I like to put shaved almonds in chicken salad and tuna salad.

    Nothing worse than eating a hairy almond, right Hotspur?

  135. >> Seriously, before last weekend had anyone ever encountered cashews in a potato salad?

    I still haven’t, but it does sound good. I’ve done bacon bits.

    One of my fav recipes is a simple broccoli salad, small chilled diced up broc heads, peanuts and bacons. Mix some white wine vinegar and mayo with a little sugar to glaze it.

    Very yummy.

  136. Wiser will be pleased!

  137. Cashews are an acceptable and tasty substitute. Don’t mix the glaze until you serve cause the bacons and nuts get a little mushy.

  138. Wiser who?

  139. Beasn community theatre:

    Them – Your rapid strep is negative so we are going to run a test for mono via a finger prick.

    Her – *hyperventilates*

    Me – Oh for Heaven’s sake, they’re only going to poke your finger.

    Her – I feel faint.

    Me – *pinches her* Now that hurts worse than a finger poke and you are still breathing. What are you going to do when you get pregnant one day?

    Her – I’m not going to get pregnant. I’m going to adopt nice little children from India. I love Indians.

    As soon as the nurse returns, wuss sounds come fast and furious.

    Me – *holds her hand while pokage and squeezage commences*

    Soon as test is done, I had a good laugh, hers filled with relief.

    Told her that I am going to prick her finger everyday to get her used to such things. I don’t think it’s the poking per se, she doesn’t like the sight of blood.

  140. Please, nobody ask Hotspur what he puts in food……………….

  141. And btw, the mono test is negative too.

    She’s on a z-pac in the event the rapid strep was faulty, while they send it out to culture.

    If the glands don’t go down, she may get blood drawn. OH boy, that’s going to be a joyous.

    Then she tells me that we have to go get her permit renewed. It expires today. Grrrr

  142. I’ll put it up later, I’ve got kid runs for the next few hours.

  143. Kids, the little scamps!

  144. You know what pisses me right off? Here we are, carrying her as a student on OUR insurance, that WE pay for, and the gal at the desk is talking to her as if she is the paying customer and totally ignoring me.
    “Um, shouldn’t I be signing that, since the bill will be coming to ME?”

    “No, she is an adult.”

    Ya think they could be a little bit more respectful of who pays the bills of what the democrat party considers a child?

  145. She may want (obviously not YOUR daughter – just for argument’s sake) your insurance to pay for her abortion and then it’s none of your business

  146. Me – Oh for Heaven’s sake, they’re only going to poke your finger.

    Her – I feel faint.

    I got a shot today, and I didn’t even cry. Sure, I sniveled a little when they didn’t offer me a lolly afterward…

  147. Glad Rocketboy can drive himself. At this rate, he’s going to wish he was 15 again.

  148. your insurance to pay for her abortion and then it’s none of your business

    Now see, that right there would turn me into a banshee and I wouldn’t care.

  149. sean, my daughter did not get the wuss gene from me. I remember getting the MMR gun when I was five. The health dpt came to school and lined us up. Immediately the shrieks and knashing of teeth from several classrooms full of kindergartners began. I couldn’t figure out what made them cry. It didn’t hurt that bad and I believed the story that it would help me not get sick.

    Of course, they came to our school when we were 16 and said we would need a booster because that shot from so many years ago was no longer effective. No shrieks this time. Nervous laughter, a faint or two, and the smell of fear, permeated the joint.

  150. Instead of a Dum Dum or sticker, I did pay for beasnette’s haircut.

  151. My ex would faint at the sight of blood.

    It’s really helpful during emergencies.

  152. I’ve been a blood donor since I was in high school. A friend of mine (a strong guy and a good athlete) actually fainted at one of the school blood drives when they pricked his finger to test his iron. He had trouble living that shit down.

  153. Oh, and one time I took her to an oral surgeon for children as one of her baby teef had died and a sore developed on her gum.
    The Dr. asked if I wanted to schedule another appointment to remove it or she could do it now.

    Duh. I said do it now. If the kid is allowed to think about it for another week, it would be a horrible sleepless week.

    She went for the laughing gas and was pissed at me for the rest of the day even after getting to choose a toy from the treasure chest.

  154. It’s really helpful during emergencies.

    Yep.

    Told her she better try and overcome her fear. As a parent, you have to….and told her about my hate for ticks. They creep me the shit out but you didn’t see me scream and run from either child when they came to me with ticks embedded giving me the finger. Nope, I had to step out of myself, hold my breath, and pull.

    Only later,out of site, did I do the grossed out twist and then showered in lit alcohol.

  155. How does snorting tobacco up one’s nostrils, make one smell something better?

  156. muthurfurkin bootleg Precedent is in town today and traffic is gonna be a bitch. damn

  157. Costume enhancer for renaissance festivals or any costume. Place creatures hands in between your breasts and see all the attention you will receive at renaissance festivals…

    Yeah, because you need the creepy little hand thingies for that.

  158. Beasn have you had any relief from the heat?

  159. TGSG,
    When the JEF leaves down there, he’s coming up here to fuck-up evening rush-hour!

  160. oh how i miss patty ann, she was one spicy meatball

  161. Glad to hear that Beasnette doesn’t have Strep or Mono – she’ll get over the blood thing eventually. I still don’t like having it taken, but I tolerate it better than I used to……

  162. That boob thing was from flint if anyone wants me to run and get them a pair.

  163. Beasn have you had any relief from the heat?

    Nope. I’m hearing we aren’t going to get one anytime soon. I think we beat the 100 degree record but probably won’t beat 1934’s dust bowl days.

  164. Nothing worse than eating a hairy almond, right Hotspur?

    *shrugs shoulders*

    *picks something out between his teeth*

  165. First segment of the Five was goooood.

  166. On days like today, I wish I’d taken more shop classes in high school. Be nice to have some practical skills to fall back on if this whole engineering thing doesn’t pan out. Or if it drives me to complete insanity.

  167. Don’t mind me, I’m just whining and lamenting my career.

  168. I do believe I was the first to mention that JH probably paid for his weapons with student aid:

    http://pjmedia.com/instapundit/147293/

    Though to be honest, I assumed student loans, and not a direct grant.

  169. I very nearly took out student loans during grad school to get work done on my house. I qualified, they don’t look as bad as credit card debt on a CR, and they were dirt cheap interest. Never occurred to me to use them to build an arsenal.

  170. All the guns I bought in college were paid via my GI Bill. Plus the one I won in a raffle.

  171. This is my rifle, this is my gun. One is for fighting. One is for shooting you in the face.

  172. Nice tie, Xbrad.

  173. Obama ATE A DOG.

    And if Pupster keeps talking shit, he’s gonna eat another one.

  174. Nice tie, Xbrad.

    Seems like a pretty good plan xbrad, be sure to have enough gas in the car.

  175. “This is my rifle, this is my gun. One is for fighting. One is for shooting you in the face.”

    HAHA That comment reminds me of Rosetta.

  176. I found a picture of Ace as a baby:

    http://tinyurl.com/crdo8sh

  177. http://tinyurl.com/bos48z4

  178. ha!

    It’s funny because they are using OLDER pictures in their ads – when the Wee Wons were younger and really cute.

    It’s kinda … weird.

  179. Honey Badger has some competition:

  180. We are the girls from Norfolk, Norfolk…

  181. Motha fucking bootleg Cleveland Indians!

  182. DD#3 decided to play some appropriate music while making meatloaf: “Bat Out of Hell” by Meatloaf.

    She’s such a hoot…..

  183. It appears ABC is caught making shit up again. If you want reliable news, turn to National Inquirer. Or you mom.

  184. Never heard of it.

  185. Motha fucking bootleg Joseph Kennedy!

  186. When’a the moon hits’a the sky, like a big’a pizza pie, that’s’a my dinner!

  187. So Wiserbud is eating lobster and going bankrupt. Can someone give me some of what he’s smoking?

  188. He was visiting someone, I think.

  189. Also, can I have $26k? I won’t even dye my hair orange.

  190. You at the ghetto bar, Hotspur?

  191. Visiting someone? Why the fuck wasn’t he visiting us?

  192. Indeed!

  193. Visiting someone? Why the fuck wasn’t he visiting us?

    Good point.

    I suppose he preferred lobsters to clams?

  194. Those clams were mighty tasty, though. YUM. I’d never had them before.

  195. But we made fun of his POL. He should have been there to defend himself.

  196. Beasn community theatre:

    Told her that I am going to prick her finger everyday to get her used to such things.
    ==========
    When my son was a baby, we had to take him in for his puppy shots. I told my wife it would be funny if we took a red pen and put 20 or so little dots on his thigh. Then we could tell the nurse we’d been poking him with a needle so he’d be used to getting shots and wouldn’t be afraid.

  197. Clams are big-time aphrodisiacs.

  198. Clams are big-time aphrodisiacs.

    No effect on me.

  199. I marinated some crappy steaks with whiskey overnight.
    WOW! Delicious and only $2.99 lb

    Crabapple wood for smoke is nice too.

  200. Oh. Maybe it’s mussels.

  201. No, it’s clams.

  202. winning, scott

  203. I thought it was oysters?

  204. $2.99 a pound steaks?

    What do you do, drink the whisky and otherwise disregard the steaks?

  205. don’t be a h8ter, Hotspur.

  206. Thought it was oysters. Really it’s zinc, of which shellfish have a lot, but so does beef and dark chocolate, so I’m pretty much already there.

  207. It WAS oysters!!!!!

    Next meatup for sure.

  208. Hotspurt is confused. It’s the oysters what gets you interested in the clams.

  209. Hahahahaha

    Leon, your wife is a doll.

  210. I don’t care for oysters. I mean, aren’t you really just eating the crap you put on them anyway? The horseradish and chili sauce?

  211. Clint, this is a family blog.

  212. I thought she wasn’t a blowup doll, and that’s what got Carin in trouble?

  213. Leon, your wife is a doll.

    Yea. Roofies were probably involved.

  214. I love oysters

  215. I thought she wasn’t a blowup doll, and that’s what got Carin in trouble

    No, what got me in trouble was going “full hostage” before she was fully assimilated.

  216. Oops, let me rephrase that.

    She’s very pretty, and, BONUS, she’s REAL!!!

  217. “Clint, this is a family blog.”

    Really? Then how come no one is wearing pants? Huh? Huh?

  218. It’s not as if I whipped out a chocolate dong.

  219. I didn’t wear pants both nights, right Carin?

  220. I never wore pants. the whole weekend.

    When Gab showed up, I wasn’t even wearing a bra. The poor thing. If he wasn’t teh gay before …

  221. Oysters have a very briny fresh taste. Clams are sweeter Mussels are more livery than oysters. I like them all.

  222. GAH!

  223. This is a family blog. Talk about your methods for making children.

  224. this is true, I never saw Car in wearing pants

  225. GAH what, Scott?

    My no-bra thing? I was wearing a (tight) shirt. Just no bra. I was still cleaning.

  226. I like them all.

    Me too. I don’t think I’ve ever had any seafood that I didn’t like. I really need to be living near an ocean.

  227. So, I soaked a ton of beans, cooked ’em till tender and my wife gets back with a mango & it’s all, “It’s not ripe yet, we have to wait a couple of days.” Damnit, woman! I wanted to add half of a medium onion, 5 cloves of garlic, 4 or 5 jalapeños and the juice from one lime and let it marinate for 3 hours right now! Not tomorrow!

  228. Led Zep.

  229. lol. It’s not as if it were Pink Floyd.

  230. It’s not as if it were Pink Floyd.

    Hurray!

  231. Cyn….. http://thelobsterguy.com/index.html

  232. Cyn ♥s Scott

  233. I gots to order some lobsters from those dudes, the last ones were awesome

  234. Oh… Scallops; I do not like those. That might be more psychological though as I had a flu bug go full-bore after eating scallops. It’s that way for me with gin, too. And tonic. And limes.

  235. There is this news about a gay couple that was beaten up by a bunch of teenagers in washington dc.
    http://www.myfoxdc.com/story/19092657/dc-police-investigating-beating-of-yoga-instructor-his-partner-as-hate-crime

    The news sites are careful not to describe the teens, so I wonder what are they hiding. My suspicion is that the teens were either Amish, Mormon or Hasidic Jews. Nobody wants to stereotype them.

  236. If the bathroom radio is set to classic rock, Led Zep will come on every time I take a shower. (the only time I can’t change the station).

    They haunt me so I switched to country music.

  237. Car in was not wearing pants and bra? NOW I really regret not attending.

  238. Heh. One of the Lobster Guy’s F/V is “Aces High”. It’s like destiny that we order from them.

  239. Tushar, I wondered the exact same thing when I saw that story.

  240. OMG. The mystery is solved. The reports never mentioned it, but apparently (now sit down, because this is a shocker) the teens were urban white republican christianer teens black.

  241. Shocka!

  242. Did anybody start a cult based on the worship of anybody else today?

  243. How can it be a “hate crime” then?

    Everyone knows that only white people are capable of committing hate crimes…..

  244. That’s on tomorrow’s to-do list, Sean.

  245. I need to bring back St. Sofa’s Church.
    It could have been big.

  246. Wonderful!
    JEF arrives from Portland, after fucking-up their evening commute, just before 1800. The cops will then close the freeways through Seattle for his motorcade to a fundraiser. The Yankees-Mariners game starts at 1910.
    This is gonna be great!!!
    /Flounder

  247. http://tinyurl.com/d4abhbv

  248. A Google images search brings up nothing worthwhile for “Haiga Sofa.” Pathetic.

  249. Comment by Sean M. on July 24, 2012 8:22 pm

    Did anybody start a cult based on the worship of anybody else today?

    close, i stood in front of a CO$ audit booth and mocked them

  250. Can you imagine the outrage if a pack of young, ne’er do well, gay men beat up a teen for not being super-fabulous??

  251. Mare…..

    http://tinyurl.com/7cwd6ex

  252. Can you imagine the outrage if a pack of young, ne’er do well, gay men beat up a teen for not being super-fabulous??

    Exactly; we never hear about that sort of thing.

    You may need to work on your publicity more.

  253. heya Cynnie

  254. Can you imagine the outrage if a pack of young, ne’er do well, gay men beat up a teen for not being super-fabulous??

    You don’t want to wear the wrong shade of pink in The Castro, mang.

  255. You may need to work on your publicity more.
    ———————
    Hahaha. Shut up and make me dinner.

  256. Mare…..
    http://tinyurl.com/7cwd6ex

    HA! That’s a keeper.

  257. You don’t want to wear the wrong shade of pink in The Castro, mang.
    ————————–
    Tell me about it, sister.

  258. C’mon ovah, MJ, we’re actually doing seafood tonight!

    Okay, okay, FINE. Long John Silver’s isn’t exactly seafood, but I live in a fucking desert!

    *runs away crying, slams door, but leaves it unlocked in case MJ comes over*

  259. Hiya Krow!

  260. The fuck did I just see on tv? Did Obama claim that we tried his plan and it worked?

    I just realized I have a DVR and watched it again. He actually said that.

  261. *hears dinner walking into the house, changes into clamdiggers*

  262. good news everybody!
    i am down to 230 lbs and STILL has a Belly!
    i look like a Macy Float

  263. Enjoy your fish and clamdiggers, Cyn.

    /seafood pervert

  264. 224. And I didn’t even lose much in the hospital couple weeks ago, and that food sucked, I could barely cram down a few bites. Plus with all the superdope, I didn’t feel like eating anyhow.

    I blame temporary water weight retention.

    *scarfs a Midol*

  265. 236 – Down 21, 16 to go.

  266. I’m down 26.

    Also I want a fucking pizza.

  267. fuck pizza
    DOUGHNUTS!

  268. I haven’t even baked bread in 6 weeks.

  269. Dave, metal is heavier than bones. If you want to reduce weight, you are not doing it right.

  270. I swam 11 laps just now. 550 meters. Not bad for a guy who was basically sedentary for 15 years.

  271. Don’t even talk to me about donuts.

    AIYEEE!!

    Tushar, yeah, but they cut out about a pound of bone too. Tradeoff.

  272. Mr. RFH grilled hamburgers tonight, and they were awesome.

  273. Master Chief, DG is gonna glare at you!!!

  274. Last time I was in hospital, their food was like “Room Service” in a nice hotel. You could order damn-near anything!
    Cheeseburger, medium, with mushrooms, fries, and onions.
    BAM! It was there.
    Ribeye, medium-rare, mushrooms, baked potato with sour-cream & chives, broccoli.
    BAM! It was there.

    Was very strange, after earlier experiences;
    “And how would you like your jello?”

  275. roamy, you are a ROCKET SCIENTIST, right?
    how do i get the last bit of ketchup out of the bottle?

  276. Tuesday night R & B. . .

  277. Mmmmmmmmmmmmm lime jeller!

  278. Krow – My neighbors are giving me the stink eye too. . .

  279. Nice job Tushar. I swam tonight too.

  280. Krow, stand it on the lid for a while. My mom was not a rocket scientist, but that woman could get the last atom of mayo, mustard, peanut butter, jelly, whatever. I asked her about it one time, and she just shrugged and say, “The Depression.”

  281. MareJvon!

  282. well ok then, i was hoping for explosions and sparks but thank yor momma anyways (S)

  283. Oh I could order shit too. The most bearable meal was “taco salad”

    But mostly my 27 choices all ended up as “dreck”. The problem is “healthy cooking initiatives”. No flavor.

  284. Thanks, MJ. Hoping to do 1000 meters soon.

  285. I got stuck in the hospital once where they insisted on a bland diet. Cup of bouillon and half-cup of jello, that was it. My dad sneaked in a thermos of chicken and rice soup before I starved.

  286. Healthy food is good for you, because you eat less of it. The mental struggle to force feed that disgusting dreck to yourself actually burns calories.

    **eats another spoonful of garlic cheese spread**

  287. Dave,
    No shit! It was really nice food.
    It reminded me of when the company used to send me ‘on the road’ and you could eat on their dime. If I was paying for it, I could never eat like that.

  288. Scott cut deadwood out of the crabapple tree tonight after work and used it to make the most delicious smoke on the grill set real low.

    Dinner came out really nice, with a background smokyness that was not overbearing.

    I’m thinking of picking up a brisket and a picnic shoulder now and trying this out for realz, low and slow.

  289. When dad was in the hospital, the pudding wasn’t bad. The rest was awful. Though the cafeteria wasn’t bad.

  290. I did a terrible job cooking the clams at Carin’s last weekend but they seemed to mostly come out okay anyway. A few got too smoked/ dried. I never used a smoker like that before or knew what to do.

    Next time I will be better prepared.

  291. Imagine all those times you took aim at a fly with a towel, only to lose at the last second.

    With this weapon you can stand off, take aim and he never sees it coming.

    It’s, perfect.

  292. You better get your shit together for the next clam thing.

  293. Seriously.

    Plus, if you were really good with it … wingshootin’

  294. My goofy dad taught me as a kid, to catch a fly, drown it, pour a little mound of salt over it, and watch it come back because the salt pulled the water out of it.

    Yeah, I have issues. But that was still pretty fuckin cool.

  295. Dave,
    That’s a ‘little’ strange.
    Just sayin’…

  296. WOW. Andy, that’s the best invention. My mom would actually love that.

  297. That would be pretty fun! WAY better than the 870 in the house! You don’t have to repair sheet-rock.

  298. Ima gonna buy a bug-a-salt gun and use it instead of a salt shaker.
    Not enough salt in your food? Well, shoot!

  299. Dave’s little trick is actually an old game of the Roman Legions.

  300. I had a chemistry teacher that threw pieces of chalk at students not paying attention. She would have loved that salt gun.

  301. Laura, I liked your smoked clams.

  302. Shut Up And Take My Money, Mr. Salt Gun Man!

  303. Thanks Hotspur!
    Hotwife made me feel like a million bucks when she had one and said it was a taste of ocean.

  304. Laura, I liked your smoked clams.

    Pervert/

  305. Heavenly shades of night are falling. . .

  306. Yea. Roofies were probably involved.

    Believe it or not, she fell for me when I was fat. That’s how fuckin’ charming I can be, people.

    Charming, SRSLY.

    Also, I’m about to add a picture to the meetup page.

  307. it’s twi-light time

    …reminds me; it gets dark so much later in Carin’s part of the country. Here it is nearly full dark around 8:30-9:00 this time of year.

    Still quite sunny outdoor her house in that hour.

  308. Sunset around 8:30 CDT here too.

    Which is normal. And the heck with those places that stay lit up till 10 or so.

    That’s goofy.

  309. Picture added.

  310. Can some nice person email me the passwords to meatlocker, POL etc? The ones Cyn sent me a few months back don’t work no more.

    Or, if they havent changed in a long time, just let me know in the comments. It could just be this stupid iPad.

  311. Since most of the engineering, manufacturing, entrepreneurial and young people have moved South. All that is left up North are hippies, anarchists,old folks and academics (BIRM). Now would be a perfect time to secede. Please notify me 45 minutes prior to any hostilities, as it will take me that long to drive south of the mason-Dixon line.

  312. iPads aren’t stupid. Cyn changed everything.

  313. Tushar, what is your email.

  314. Check you email Right Now, Tush! I just sent out an email in the last day or so with brand spankin’ new pw’s for all the private tabs.

  315. Tushar, on their way.

  316. Chief, I have an idea.
    We can rearrange north America.
    All red states plus Alberta and other western canadian provinces can become United States of North America.

    NorthEast plus Waste coast plus Quebec and other pansy provinces of Canada can together become New Frenchistan.

    We will have oil. They will have patchouli oil.

  317. Bumps and grinds Cyn.

  318. Thanks Cyn and Hotspur. I see Cyn’s email.

  319. I’m going to stay in Michigan and cling to my guns.

  320. Bumps and grinds Cyn.

    I love skiing!

    That’s what you’re talking about, right?

  321. MCPO, I think it’s going to be the flyover states seceding from CA, OR, WA, NY, MA, CT, and RI. We’ll take PA as long as you leave Philly behind, and we need to give the Left Coast Hostages a heads up..

  322. Is that Little Jerry in Leon’s photo?

  323. Roamy – Sorry, but Pittsburgh has to go too.

  324. Okay, I’ll give my nephew a heads up to move out.

    Good night and squishy hugs!

  325. mj photoshops tthe ghey hairs teh awesome!!!11!!!teaparty!!!itsgraybushesfault!!!

  326. Hotspurt,
    Anita used to Bump and Grind skiing. She has now had both hips replaced.
    She was good! Now, she’s almost as busted-up as I am.
    Reality is a crutch for those that can not tolerate drugs.
    I’m in WA, but not gonna go with the vote-counters in King-County, not that it makes any difference.
    As Stalin said: “It’s not who votes that counts, but who counts the votes!”

  327. “Bumps and grinds Cyn.”

    is that video out?

  328. Minka Kelly made a sex tape, and now Cyn bumps and grinds?

    I’ll be in my bunk!

  329. Yep, that’s Jerry.

  330. The DVD should release late August, JAM.

  331. I had to google Minka. Dammit. All these young people.

  332. awesome cyn!
    sign me up for eleventy.

  333. So, I was sad that I saw today was Patty Anne’s Birthday and came here and saw the banner up top. That was wonderful. Love you all.

  334. Sohot,
    Yeah, I’m missing her too. Makes me sad. miss her much…

  335. patty anne was one of the first ones to take pity on me and respond to my inanities ….

  336. Minka was VERY cute in Friday Night Lights.

  337. BiW made me cry with his Patty Ann comment on FB.

  338. Speaking of birthdays…

    http://tinyurl.com/c6wceto

  339. Where’s that whore Mare?

    http://tinyurl.com/cfwkaw8

  340. What did he say?

  341. “http://tinyurl.com/c6wceto”

    hahaaahahahaaaa!
    wtf is up with that?

    i had a flight doc actually say to me: “i don’t like this either…”
    my response:
    “so why are you doing it?…”

  342. Jam, Doctrine Man is turning 40.

    Thankfully, I was no longer subject to the tender mercies of military medical care when I turned that august age.

  343. OK, fistbumps to the guys, squishy hugs to the ladies.

    G’night, all.

  344. Nighty night all

  345. We want the derp and we want it now!

  346. The Democratic Party today announced that it is changing its symbol from the Donkey to a Condom because it more accurately reflects the Party’s political stance.
    A condom allows for inflation, halts production, destroys the next generation, protects a bunch of dicks, and gives you a sense of security while you’re actually being screwed!

  347. What to do when you can’t sleep? Put up HHD. New poat!


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