Tales from the Dumb Side

Our story today comes, yet again, from my favorite pet leftist, the music store guitar teacher.

Not actually him, but pretty damn close.

I mentioned semi-humorously that I would be incredibly surprised if any Progressives actually bought a MegaMillions lottery ticket this week, when you consider that winning would immediately catapult that person directly into the top 1%. And, as we have all learned over the past few months, being in the top 1% is evil, unfair, borderline criminal and downright anti-American.

Of course, he proceeds to tell me the flaw in my logic. You see, money won in something like a lottery is “good, clean, untainted” money. And the person who wins it is not a bad person at all, but is, instead, someone to be admired for their incredible good fortune. Only money that is (insert finger-quotes here) “earned” by the 1%ers is “bad, evil money”, because the only way anyone (insert finger-quotes here) “earned” that much money is by cheating others and cozying up to (read: “buying”) the politicians who make the laws which they (the 1%ers) exploit to (insert finger-quotes here) “earn” their filthy lucre.

I laughed. Of course, he had to be kidding, right?

Nope.

He was stone-cold dead serious. According to him, no wealthy person in this country has actually earned their money honestly. Every single one of them has become disgustingly wealthy by corrupting the system and stealing from the poor. (Of course, he can never quote explain how “the poor” have enough money to steal to create so many multi-billionaires in the first place, but let’s not dwell on that little inconsistency for too long, lest we give ourselves a headache.)

Unfortunately, before I could ask him to explain this concept further, his iPhone rang and he had to take the call.

So, to sum up, money won in a lottery = “good”, money earned = “bad.”

It’s a brave new world, isn’t it?

324 Comments

  1. Cyn, I know. And I shall be countering it rather illegally tonight.

  2. Tell me, Wiser. Does that “guitar teacher” earn his money??

  3. I’ll be working tonight in a brightly lit, public space!

  4. *types sympathy comment*

    Ahh, interesting post.

    *Y-A-W-N!*

  5. So is ball shaving “good” or “bad”?

  6. On second thought, please do NOT answer that.

  7. Never mind all the “clean’ lottery money tends to come from the bottom half of the socioeconomic ladder.

  8. The stoopid is strong in that one…..

    (Unfortunately, there are plenty more like him out there)

  9. Comment by TGSG on March 31, 2012 3:24 pm
    I’ll be working tonight in a brightly lit, public space!

    That corner lamppost finally opened up, huh?

  10. I wonder how many lottery tickets you can buy with an EBT card.

  11. What about all the rich progressives?

  12. What about all the rich progressives?

    Well, he actually did mention how disappointed he was to see so many rich and powerful Democrats on the boards of corporations. See, he thought only evil Republicans did that stuff.

    I did get a chance to explain to him that the difference between the left and the right is that we embrace capitalism while we make money, while the left derides it, while making money.

    Rather hypocritical, doncha think?

    He’s still voting for Obama though. ‘Cause Mitt Romney is too extreme. And rich.

  13. The answer: http://tinyurl.com/85j7xx3

  14. Guitar guy ‘admires’ people who fall off the tuna truck? I don’t see him climbing any economic ladders in the future.

  15. Tell me, Wiser. Does that “guitar teacher” earn his money??

    only because he has to. Which, yannow, totally sucks.

  16. The answer

    NOOOOooooooooooooo

  17. Guy considers himself to be an anarchist. As he said today, “I don’t have kids and don;t plan to, so I don’t care if the whole thing burns to the ground.”

    Of course, he just bought a house. Can’t wait to hear about the evil bank wanting to get their evil mortgage payment from him every month….

  18. Never mind all the “clean’ lottery money tends to come from the bottom half of the socioeconomic ladder.

    HAHAHAHAHA!!!

    Yeah, but that’s GOOD “stealing from the poor” because the government is doing it … to make things… fair.. I guess.

    Oh hell, I can’t follow the logic of a leftard….

  19. An anarchist who bought a house?!

    Bwahahahaha! *snorts* Hahahahaha!

    That’s rich.

  20. Property tax should be a real hoot.

  21. a smart guy once said, “you can’t reason a person out of a position that he wasn’t reasoned into in the first place”

    This is the heart and soul of why arguing with leftist ninnies is a waste of time. I’ll mock an idiot, which is what you’re doing (well done by the way), but I won’t waste an ounce of my time arguing with them. Let life teach them her cruel truth, they either get beaten down or wake the fuck up.

    It’s a choice.

  22. What DiT said.

  23. Got back from a trip to check out Whole Foods with WiserGoddess.

    Does anybody here know what to do with buckwheat groats? I got some buckwheat groats.

  24. Bwahahahaha! *snorts* Hahahahaha!

    Yeah, he’s a real enigma wrapped up in a riddle wrapped in an ironically-worn keffiyeh.

  25. Lamppost?? Why didn’t I think of that??

  26. Also: coconut oil. Verdict: delicious straight from the jar, just like Leon said.

  27. What the hell is a Whole Foods? It ain’t like I’m buying 3/4 bananas at the Giant!?

  28. Also, a large quantity of sesame seeds for a very good price.

    I do know exactly what to do with those.
    http://almostitalian.com/giugiulena/

  29. keffiyeh

    So he wears it like a hoodie then.

    Super.

  30. Got back from a trip to check out Whole Foods with WiserGoddess.

    oh THAT’S where she was….

    no wonder there was no sammich waiting for me when I got home from work….

  31. Soccer game

  32. Does anybody here know what to do with buckwheat groats?

    Ask PJ

  33. >> Does anybody here know what to do with buckwheat groats?

    Yes.

  34. Soccer game

    Jumbo Shrimp

  35. Does anybody here know what to do with buckwheat groats?

    Was that his last name? I never knew that.

  36. You should cook em.

  37. Dave, I think there’s something wrong with this here armadillo cannon. Will you look into the end of the barrel and tell me if you see anything stuck?

  38. *peeks inside* What you mean, it looks ok to… ohfuck

  39. Is there gluten in them?

  40. dammit

    brb

  41. Elmo says, “Day-um!”

    http://tinyurl.com/7lwbn66

  42. Eye-opening place, Whole Foods. It’s really remarkable what a useful plant hemp is, by the way. Apparently you can use it to make clothing, bread, snacks, hair products, etc., etc.

    Some of that stuff is just so precious and self-consciously enviro-nut you have to grimace. But I have to hand it to them. Everything is very, very nice and there are some really nifty features in there. The meat counter was beautiful, the cheese selections, the amazing deli. Dim sum and sushi, a pizza parlor…

    The whole place looks like a movie set where they’re about to shoot the film ‘The Most Awesome Food Store Ever.’

  43. Buckwheat is not a grain and not related to wheat. No, it has no gluten.

    So I’ll have to add some.

  44. I was just making sure. You have a box, right?

  45. ATTENTION: BUCKWHEAT HAD BEEN SHOT

  46. LauraW – We ain’t got them Whole Foods up har in the hills but, we can hunt, dress and serve venison, turkey, pheasant, etc. . . Oh, and today is the first day of trout season iffin you wanna fly fish on the Yellow Breeches.

  47. I went to an interesting store too. Middle eastern. Stuffed with cool stuff. I needed sumac and pomegranate molasses. Arab owner mentioned the mega million , then said its better not to win because it’s the devil’s money.

  48. Speaking of hemp. . .

    http://tinyurl.com/7m87d2f

  49. MCPO a couple days ago you mentioned seeing Golden Eagles and I thought you were off your rocker.

    How long have they been around?

  50. MCPO, you gotta check it out if you get in the neighborhood of one. The salad bar/ hot buffet and produce sections alone, Jeebus. It’s kind of dazzling when you’re used to ShopRite.

  51. Lauraw, that’s why I can’t knock Whole Foods, it’s a beautiful clean store with appetizing displays and amazing prepared food. There are douchetools that shop/work there, but that can be said of any place.

    It’s like people knocking Apple, fine, but it’s a great product.

  52. I wish we had one near us….we don’t have any “fun” stores near us.

    There is a Central Market which is very similar. Great fresh meat/fish counter, beautiful produce and 7 thousand* beers.

    *may have just made that number up, but a lot

  53. Scott – I would have to check with the Raptor Center. I personally saw one last year and someone I golf with said he saw one last week. We get plenty of balds and red-tailed hawks. Lots of game for the hunting birds around here.

    LauraW – I knew where I was going to be living when we decided to move back here. I’m glad you enjoyed shopping with the trust fund kids.

  54. I also LOVE Trader Joe’s. None anywhere near us.

  55. Anybody following Olberdouche’s twitter feed?

    He is actually retweeting all the sycophants who are calling him the greatest broadcaster all time.

    The man’s ego is immeasurable!

    Geez, Keith, show just a bit of class, huh?

  56. I’m no trust fund kid……I WISH!

  57. I just learned that we have them here. I was certain there weren’t any east of the Rockies, that’s what the bird book says.

  58. Shoot, Wiser do you have a link?

  59. Got it.

    Holy cow.

  60. My favorite part of shopping in Whole Foods is seeing the people who seriously look like they are on the verge of death loading up on all the whole grains and “cruelty-free” vegetables.

    Meanwhile, I do like their selection of micro-brews. It’s the only place around where I can find Arrogant Bastard Ale.

  61. HA! Scott!

  62. HAHAHAHA! Oh, Scott, you find some of the best shit on the interwebs!

  63. http://vimeo.com/37540767

    Scott – Back away from the buckwheat groat and put down the coconut oil!

  64. Mare did you see the Obamacare one on the old thread?
    2:58

  65. Brb

  66. HA! New term, “Oh crap, I just Verillied my garden hose.”

  67. I’ve not been overly impressed with those stores. A lot of nice looking prepared stuff I’d never bother with. A few items that I can’t find at reg stores. But none of the really unusual stuff I’d need for a strange recipe. They didn’t have sumac.

  68. he had that ad up for a couple of days. Chevy made him take it down. He appealed as it is obviously a “parody” they didn’t respond so he put it back up..

    Now you know “The rest of the story”.

  69. “Oh crap, I just Verillied my garden hose.”

    No Fluken way!

  70. I also went there once looking for duck fat. Didn’t have that either. They have fancy level normal stuff.

  71. True, Carin, but the fukksized buying can come in handy.

  72. I have a hemp shirt.

  73. Where do you go for fish fat?

  74. So, Herself left at 10:00 this morning, telling me she would be home by 3:30. At what point am I allowed to start worrying. . . about dinner?

  75. Mmm, sumac confit!

  76. Hotspur – You live in AA. . . a hemp shirt is a requirement!

  77. I bought it in Belize from a couple of hippies way out in the country.

  78. wiserbride’s company had their annual Easter Egg hunt today.

    wiserson volunteered to be the Easter Bunny.

    http://tinyurl.com/7k4u652

    http://tinyurl.com/6oqt8sh

    *snicker.

    Yeah, this one is going into the family photo album.

  79. Fuck that. I’d use that checkout line just to spite those dickholes, because that’s just the way I roll.

    http://tinyurl.com/7uw759g

  80. OMG Earth Hour starts in 15 minutes!

  81. I have a Food Town near me which sells all the crazy messican stuff, a big Asian market two exits up on the left (if you can tolerate the smell of the meat department), Walmart (more expensive than Food Town for most things), and Kroegers for some higher-end types of things.

    Although, I have yet to find walnut oil or grape leaves anywhere. I want to make dolmathes, but I need to find those things.

  82. I think I just swallowed a bug.

  83. I have to agree. Whole Foods and Trader Joe’s are both great places to shop.

  84. “No Fluken way!”

    hahahahaha…just saw that.

  85. Fuck that. I’d use that checkout line just to spite those dickholes, because that’s just the way I roll.
    http://tinyurl.com/7uw759g

    You know what, I roll that way too, screw them.

  86. Earth Hour…..wth is that?

  87. I love Easter. http://is.gd/BFqt0L

  88. I can’t afford crap at Neiman Marcus but it is a beautiful store. Fortunate those who can.

  89. I’m with HS and Mare on that checkout bull. I’d go though with five pounds of bacon and three bottles of vodka. Booyah!

  90. “I’m with HS and Mare on that checkout bull. I’d go though with five pounds of bacon and three bottles of vodka.”

    HA! I know that is what you purchase anyway.

  91. Xbrads shopping cart:

    Tire pump
    spagetti Oh’s
    lotion

  92. If my Total Wine store that is practically w/i walking distance from me sold bacon, I’d work there.

    *emails Mare a chocolate bunny with only a small nibble missing*

  93. “I’m with HS and Mare on that checkout bull. I’d go though with five pounds of bacon and three bottles of vodka.”

    HA! I know that is what you purchase anyway.

    I bet Mare and Cyn wouldn’t even wear a burlap bag on their heads. Harlots! The both of them!

  94. Mare’s shopping cart:

    Wine

    Second shopping cart:

    Chocolate
    lean cuisine
    aspirin

  95. Xbrads shopping cart:

    Oooo that smells like a Joke Thread™

  96. depends

  97. Wiser’s shopping cart:

    Beer
    bananas
    outrage

  98. That is just sad. I somehow don’t think we are going to have that problem with DD. She got her second paycheck Friday from work and she worked a lot of hours during Spring break and this check was for 100.00 more than her first check. She was over the moon excited. The light went off that you work more you earn more…She is so excited for Summer.(So she can work)

  99. Don’t you judge us, Jewstin!

    Besides, we’re contributing to the economy and saving jobs.

    *sniffs haughtily*

  100. I would literally die before I wore a burqa…..meaning, I wouldn’t be the first to go.

  101. Dave’s Shopping Cart:

    Beer
    Guitar Strings
    An empty jar labeled “Fucks”

  102. They sell walnut oil in the regular food store here. Maybe check a health food store for it, Jewstin, since it is also used to lower cholesterol?

    Idea: if there are any wild grapes growing where you live (there are shitloads here) they may work fine for stuffing. A Syrian friend and I picked a bag full of them by a roadside years ago.

    All you do is turn the leaf over and look. If the leaf is thin, and the back of the leaf is smooth and light green, you can use it. You do not cook the kind that has a heavier leaf with a fuzzy white back.

  103. hahahahahjah

  104. My laugh was for Dave’s jar………shiiiiiiit

  105. >> Beer
    Guitar Strings
    An empty jar labeled “Fucks”

    I keep looking for fucks… can’t find any

  106. We are going to see Ronnie MIlsap at the Grand Opera House in Galveston tonight.
    http://www.thegrand.com

  107. We are going to go eat at some pier over looking the water first. I love date night

  108. Good thinking Laura. A health food store is a good bet.

    I just haven’t looked hard enough. There’s a big Greek festival coming up in a few months so there has to be a Greek or Mediterranean market around somewhere.

  109. Ronnie won’t see you back.

    Too bad for him, awesomeness.

  110. “Earth Hour…..wth is that?”

    We are supposed to live like cave people for an hour to save mother earth. I hope everyone else is observing it because I have to go to the grocery store.

    We are out of salsa and that is simply unacceptable.

  111. There’s this outstanding international (mostly middle eastern) grocery store in Houston called Phoenicia. I went there before my sister’s wedding a few years back.

    They have EVERYTHING.

  112. Scott, I think it would be a nice gesture if you took your truck and left it idling in the parking lot. Green things love CO2.

  113. Phoenicia, on Westheimer. Check it out, Jewstin. You will like.

  114. I used to live right near that Layra

  115. Its in Weschase which is where Count and I both worked.

  116. No kidding?? Small world!

  117. I was in Texas.

  118. >> They have EVERYTHING.

    Toilet plungers? I bet they dint have that, DID THEY?

  119. I just used the Google. Phoenicia on Westheimer is a trek, but apparently there’s a new one downtown that’s much closer.

    AWESOME!

  120. Isn’t Westheimer like on the other side of the world from the Clear Lake area?

    It’s about as close as Dallas is to Fort Worth….
    (Well, maybe not THAT far)

  121. Is this who you were talking to Wiserbabe?

    http://tinyurl.com/bp6hpca

  122. Yeah, he’s a real enigma wrapped up in a riddle wrapped in an ironically-worn keffiyeh.

    Did you ask him why he supports people who think it’s just hunky-dory to beat up women?

    Or kill gays?

    He must be a misogynistic homophobe –

  123. TiFW~ Count and I lived in Houston for 4 years b/c of our jobs. He worked on Westheimer and the Beltway and I worked on Richmond and the bltwy. We hated it b/c we were landlocked but we couldnt take the 55 mile drive one way daily. When I got laid off in 2009 we came back down to Clear Lake ,We are now in Seabrook.

  124. Seabrook. Was that where I was when I saw you and the Tomster last?

  125. I posted this on my FB and one of my liberal friends said he threw up in a mouth a little so he had to stop watching…

    http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Y-FGgoReyNE&feature=youtu.be

  126. Yessir 🙂

  127. I really need to come back there. The beer was cold.

    also you were purty. There. I said that shit.

    all goofyness aside, I can’t wait to see you both again. Can we charter a boat and go out lookin for redfish?

  128. Holy crap that dude was creepy, Sohos! I wouldn’t even let him put Armorall on my tires at the carwash!

  129. When my sister was first married, they lived in Plano (a Dallas suburb).

    My mother couldn’t understand how 2 sisters who lived “so close to each other” didn’t visit each other more often.

    We measured it one time – it was 61 miles from our side of Fort Worth to where they lived.

    So, yeah…..

  130. he threw up in a mouth a little

    I hope it was his own.

  131. There isn’t one thing that Bill Whittle said that is not verifiably true.

    He quotes the idiots.

  132. one of my liberal friends said he threw up in a mouth a little so he had to stop watching…

    Reality, or bad burritos?

  133. he threw up in his mouth a little

    Ask him what jizm tastes like the second time around.

  134. WANT.

    LIKE.

    BURNING.

    http://tinyurl.com/89g3kec

  135. Wiserson:

    http://tinyurl.com/s865t

  136. Ask him what jizm tastes like the second time around.

    Are you wondering if the taste is better than what you’re used to?

  137. WANT.

    LIKE.

    BURNING.

    http://tinyurl.com/m2xa8a

  138. Wiser, even xbrad left that low hanging fruit be.

  139. *smiles and wiggles eyebrows at Brad*

  140. Crap. Earth hour isn’t until 8:30.

  141. “Crap. Earth hour isn’t until 8:30.”

    DAMN IT!

  142. I don’t think we’ll be doing Earth Hour in the ghetto bar.

  143. Dan has to work at 2am so I can’t have all the fans, lights, and TVs on like last year. Stupid earth hour.

  144. I think we’ll be having Kiss My Ass Hour.

  145. You only run twice……

    http://is.gd/yBpF4w

    (aka “Why we LOVE Citizens United)

  146. I’m going to be watching Ronnie Milsap sing during Earth Hour so they can suck it

  147. My stupid ice cream maker is dead. How am I going to make frozen yogurt now?
    *prolonged nasal whine*

  148. My stupid ice cream maker is dead. How am I going to make frozen yogurt now?

    Coffee machine? dead.

    Ice cream maker? dead.

    Neidermeyer?!?!?!

  149. How am I going to make frozen yogurt now?

    Coffee can ice cream frozen yogurt. Just get Scott to roll the can back at you.

    Or the dog. The dog might be teachable.

  150. Carin, The RFD Boys are playing at The Pix in Lapeer at 8:30. Go see ’em.

  151. Petite filets of beefsteak were perfect. Tossed green salad and toasted french bread as sides. . . life is good.

  152. Neidermeyer?!?!?!

    HAHAHAHA! Oh how I love that movie!

    *wipes away tears from laughing and up-twinkles for five minutes*

  153. HS, I’ll just send you an hug. Tough week for Blue Grass and the RFD Boys recently lost your friend.

  154. Thanks, Oso, you’re the best.

  155. >> My stupid ice cream maker is dead. How am I going to make frozen yogurt now?
    *prolonged nasal whine*

    Tell Scott to get the grille.

  156. Cyn is drunk already.

  157. Looked it up…these things are pretty cheap now at WalMart.

    Before I had this Krups frozen cannister thing that crapped the bed, I used to have a big old ice cream maker with the heavy wooden bucket that you fill with ice (or snow) and salt, and a powerful motor that was ridiculously loud.

    Gave it to a friend when I got my fancy POS.

    Naturally she has moved three times since then and no longer owns it.

  158. Laura, why aren’t YOU drunk yet?

  159. We have a corner by the grocery store that always has a “homeless” person begging. The corner is always manned by one of about 5 different people and they are dropped off and picked up by someone in a car.
    I have to assume the beggar is working for the guy in the car, who must be getting a cut. Why work for the guy in the car? Is the corner protected? What kind of racket is this?

  160. I don’t know if the coffee can trick would work with this yogurt, Jewstin. It’s very thick. I don’t think there would be enough agitation going on inside the inner can.

  161. I fail to see how this gets me homemade ice cream.

    chop chop.

  162. The guy in the car probably owns the clothes.

    I don’t even know what that means.

  163. We just got a camp heater on clearance from WalMart. Can’t wait to get up in the mountains and away from the 80F temps. (Thanks, HS)

  164. * attaches drywall mixer to rear end of riding lawn mower *

  165. Xbrad, how do you know I’m not?

  166. Scott, the panhandlers out here fight over the WalMart parking lot business. Actual fights. WalMart shoppers are very generous.

  167. Cyn is drunk already.

    Stone-cold sober and still working. Dammit. Why does there have to be an end-of-the-month? Why?

    *shakes fist at Mare*

  168. I HAVE NO HOMEMADE ICE MEEM!

  169. I bet if a non-approved beggar starts working that corner they get their ass kicked. I know where one of the “homeless” guys lives and it’s a nice apartment building.

  170. * attaches drywall mixer to rear end of riding lawn mower *

    MacGyver wishes he could be more like Scott.

  171. I will work for beer. I ain’t shittin ya.

  172. Just for Cyn. Nobody else read this! Thank you for the “Out like a Lamb” poat. Bittersweet. Reminded me of your “In Like a Lion” poat that became a Breitbart memorial. Salud!

  173. Scott, yep, it is a nice tax free racket if you can get it. I hate “garage” businesses. There are so many people in the underground economy it isn’t funny. It isn’t just the illegals out here working under the radar.

  174. There are so many people in the underground economy it isn’t funny

    Gee. I wonder what would happen if the tax code and regulatory burden were simplified.

    My bet is on ‘Horde of Locusts.’

  175. Plague of Frogs is a strong second.

  176. Boils

  177. Jew, stop making sense!

  178. Thanks, Osoloco. I remembered Breitbart too as I was putting the new poat together this morning. It crossed my mind even to put another lion up there, a reminder that the media is the enemy and for us all to keep up the fight. M’wah!

  179. >> attaches drywall mixer to rear end of riding lawn mower

    Wait, wait WAIT!

    they make one of those things?

  180. Where in the heck did March even go.

  181. So, is “Earth Hour” at 8:30 EST/7:30 CST, or is it 8:30 local time?

    I’ll keep all the lights on for a few hours tonight, just to make a hippie/OWSer cry…. 😛

  182. http://tinyurl.com/7juh5az

  183. 5 gallons at a time

    http://is.gd/0lF4N3

  184. …attaches drywall mixer to rear end of riding lawn mower…

    Umm….I don’t think Mr. TiFW can run that fast…..

  185. M’wah! Cyn!

  186. Serious question….How come girls can’t dunk?

    Short guys can, tall girls can’t.

  187. *turns on every light in the house. PTL I checked in or I would have missed it.

  188. Brittney Gryner can dunk. (Hubby supplied me with that fact)

  189. All lights ablaze here.

  190. *prolonged nasal whine*

    Yeah, so my coworker was doing that about a cake that I asked her to do while I went to lunch….as our manager told her to not get deep into anything ’cause she was going to make her do other things. She wasn’t whining so much about having to do ‘a’ cake, just that one.

    It had six swirly scroll things on it. Swirly scroll things apparently stress her out. She kept going on and on and I jokingly said, ‘stop your whining and just do it’.

    She stomped into the back room and started crying.

    o_O

  191. >> Serious question….How come girls can’t dunk?

    What Oso said.

    although Brittney might be a dude.

  192. Haha DiT. Beasn, getting away from the cry babies was worth it for me.

  193. “Brittney Gryner”

    Yeah and she 7 feet tall, and if she is a she, she is the only one who can. Why can’t girls jump?

    It’s a mystery. I will file it in the “why can’t tall people run fast file”.

  194. I still think she’s a dude.

    I have met her. And heard her voice.

    She patted me on the head and said “you’re a nice man”

  195. Why do more white guys play as offensive lineman?

  196. Scott, go to the way back machine. My HS played Spud Webb twice a year. He was no where near 5’7″. He could fly. A thing of beauty. Was it Jimmy the Greek who talked physiology? Maybe girls don’t have stringy tendons.

  197. So…. odds on Brittney Griner showing up on Monday?

  198. Swirly scroll things apparently stress her out.

    Yeah, they keep me up at night, too.

  199. Serious question….How come girls can’t dunk?

    They’re obviously not holding the doughnut right, or maybe the coffee mug is too small.

    Damn these First World Problems.

  200. It’s Time.
    Power up EVERYTHING all you East Coaster Peoples.

  201. Really! Xbrad takes down Leon AND Brittney and I’m supposed to think he’s not funny?

  202. I’m not home. Someone go turn all my lights on.

  203. Hah! Xbrad has emptied his funney basket for the quarter.

  204. Oso, I’m just using up the last of this month’s supply. Trust me, first half of April? Nothin’

  205. Does one get extra credit for starting an hour early?

  206. Hi!
    HowRU?

    Can’t Hotspur turn his lights on from his iPad?

  207. The bad news is, no more Sunday Book Thread. The good news? Saturday Chess thread!

    //cuts Sox

  208. My iPad is at home. I am not.

  209. That shit’s got to be put down.

  210. Local news keeps showing the Chester Cheeto march and Civic Plaza party. Gah! LOL Great, now they are running the NM women crossing the border for health care. We are so 3rd World here.

  211. “The All-Father wove the skein of your life a long time ago. Go and hide in a hole if you wish, but you won’t live one instant longer. Your fate is fixed. Fear profits a man nothing.” – Herger the Joyous

  212. HDTV is not kind to people’s faces.

  213. Oops. The parents have an anniversary today. Must. Dial. Phone.

  214. How about a Saturday checkers thread?

  215. or euchre? I love euchre…

  216. Backgammon strategies.

  217. I love Euchre. Grew up on it.

  218. Bob Euchre?

  219. I’ll kick your ass in Euchre.

  220. HS, euchre is a blood sport in my family. My college wrestling team used me as bait for Midwesterners for recruiting purposes. Euchre.

  221. I think Euchre is a midwest thing.

  222. I’m ok for a girl. My brother is a shark.

  223. WTF is euchre?

  224. Oso, Lapeer. You and I. We will rule. (don’t tell anyone but I am the master at stealing the deal.)

  225. youtu.be/g_wc9JvTXGc?t=50s

  226. Did anybody contradict anybody else in front of the children today?

  227. I should rename that thread “Chess Solutions!”

    Then people would love it.

  228. >> WTF is euchre?

    bad surgery.

  229. HS, Lapeer is the same wknd as my family camping trip.

  230. Isn’t that one of those things you get on your Johnson if you catch syphilis?

  231. Lauraw, it is the best card game ever! Strategery.

  232. Naw, Andy, you’re thinking of whists.

  233. You get five fucking cards, and you better be able to count. Alcohol is not your friend, but five cards… hey…

  234. FFS! Someone actually put up a chess thread?!

    *bangs head against wall repeatedly*

  235. I learned a lot about people from playing euchre. Having to play poker for my allowance is a whole other story. Don’t get me started about Hearts.

  236. Spades. Navy life.

  237. Spades was the game during my Army days.

  238. Racists.

  239. Racist.

  240. Damnit.

  241. Spades got me through high school. Texas had coach/teachers that could be led astray by Spades.

  242. My Latin teacher was Bridge Club sponsor. I haven’t played Bridge in 30 years.

  243. Everyone in the Navy played Spades,Pinochle and Acey/Duecy in my day.

  244. Why is the sky blue? Because god loves the infantry.

  245. I used to play pinochle, too. My dad never really trusted Dan’s family because they don’t play cards. They also attend daily Mass and Pray the rosary. I may have had a warped childhood.

  246. How about a Saturday checkers thread?

    King Me!

  247. Happy 38th, parents!

    (Damn, that’s a long time.)

  248. You people have answered nothing.

    This is you http://i.imgur.com/7Pmq9.gif

  249. Nice catch, Hotspur!

    http://tinyurl.com/7h6c9rs

  250. Someone actually put up a chess thread?!

    I had to go look to believe it.

    Allrighty then.

  251. Mr. TiFW’s aunts and uncles played a game called “Pitch”. They were VICIOUS.

    And they had played it together for so long that they would look at their cards, bid, and in a matter of seconds the game would be over, and one or more of them would be chastising their partners for playing the wrong card at the wrong time.

    Meanwhile, those of us who didn’t have a CLUE how the game was played would be going, “What just happened?”

    The aunts and uncles would bring their Ziploc baggies full of pennies, nickels, and dimes, and they would bet on the games, too.

    Dear Lord, if the pot got up to $0.25, they would sell their grandkids to win that hand…..

  252. Comment by Coonass Jewstin on March 31, 2012 9:36 pm
    Happy 38th, parents!
    (Damn, that’s a long time.)

    *looks at calendar, realizes the TiFWs are closer to “long time” than we used to be*

    Happy Anniversary, Jewstin’s parents!

  253. I liked Quarters. And Beer Pong.

  254. I trust that everyone in the Central Time Zone has powered up.

  255. I have been bullied into playing pitch. I now have hatey hateness for cards.

  256. Tifw, yep. Like that. I remember family members being reduced to tears for trumping an ace or half stepping. My sister never made the adult table rotation. I had great uncles that served in the Pacific who would peel skin with a glare for not bidding correctly.

  257. *looks at calendar, realizes the TiFWs are closer to “long time” than we used to be*

    http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=6dt-dYPkolI

  258. Jew, I can’t play poker because of my childhood trauma. It was 2 freaking dollars in pennies that I would have to win. I spent most of my childhood in debt or dealing with my card sharp brother.

  259. WHY DIDN’T YOU BID?! You had the ACE!

  260. We used to play a game called “Coal Mining” in my family. I came to find out later on that we were just coal miners.

    *cough*

  261. I have been bullied into playing pitch. I now have hatey hateness for cards.

    Beats the hell out of playing “catch”

  262. “Beats the hell out of playing ‘catch'” Bwah ha ha

  263. To this day, DD#1 still remembers the first time that she was allowed to play Spades at the Grown-Up table.

    The game gets rolling, their team loses by one point, Papa Charlie (Mr. TiFW’s dad) tells her, “I oughta knock you outta that chair for letting that trick go by!”

    Yeah, he was joking.
    We still laugh about it….. 😛

  264. QUIT TEASING MARE!!!

    http://tinyurl.com/6onz7cg

  265. The aunts and uncles would bring their Ziploc baggies full of pennies

    http://is.gd/hsGHW4

  266. OMG – just saw an ad for the upcoming movie “Dark Shadows” – looks like it’s gonna be a romp of a comedy (!) with Johnny Depp…..

  267. We weren’t allowed to talk at the grown up euchre table. We could “knock”. I’ve learned stories about my great Uncles that explain a lot.

  268. I have no card stories.
    I have fishing stories, car stories, boat stories, motorcycle stories scuba stories and more. Cards? Sorry.

  269. My ESPN ranking is 777,181. I have 3 of the final four. 1 of the final 2. I took KU but I want OSU to win. I still don’t know why Bob Cousy ground ball chicks can’t dunk.

  270. We weren’t allowed to talk at the grown up euchre table.

    We were forced to stay outside in shallow, mud filled hole. Not just during the card games,either.

  271. The aunts and uncles would bring their Ziploc baggies full of pennies

    http://is.gd/hsGHW4

    Is it now when I should say, “Hi Rich”?

  272. xbad, I don’t know if that counts as a Four Yorkshiremen reference. Vmax, I have fishing stories too. My Buckeye grandfather adored me and never yelled at me. He would take me fishing and didn’t care that I was throwing rocks, being a jabberwocky, and couldn’t bait my line. I loved him.

  273. Those are the best grampas.

  274. Cyn, yep.

  275. I was a lonely soul,
    I had nobody ’til I met you. . .

    http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=cMcA-HGVo6o

  276. Oh. Mah. Gaw!

    Seafood gumbo on rice pilaf makes me Squeeee!!! in my pants.

  277. Haha Jew!

  278. Jewstin – A generous application of “Shout” should be able to solve your problem.

  279. Oso, I don’t think it was a Four Yorkshirmen reference. Since I have no idea what that means.

    I mean my parents made me sit outside.

    My mother used to tell me to go play on the cliffs behind the house.

  280. 4 Yorkshiremen?

    Yorkshire pudding….Yum

  281. Sage advice, MCPO. I’ll remember.

    Also, those recipes are going on the recipe blog. Holy crap, was that delicious! A lot of work, but totally worth it.

  282. xbrad, I really have no clue how to link here. Four Yorkshiremen is a Monty Python classic. You may be too young to get the reference.

  283. 15 indians
    3 medicine men
    2 Chief’s Achieved
    Hangover anticipated till noon at least.

    Good Night.

  284. Thanks, MCPO. My favorite.

  285. No, not too young. Just not an especial devotee of MP. I hit the high points, and saw most of it and most of the movies,and promptly forgot all of it.

  286. Vmax knows how to tie one on. Good show, old bean.

  287. xBrad – How is the annual Lezbean invasion going?

  288. It causes me existential pain, but I have to agree with Xbrad. Monty Python is overrated.

  289. Jewstin – STFU and make with dessert!

  290. I don’t even know you people!!! LOL

  291. Thankee Jew

  292. Raspberry upside down cake or baklava?

  293. MCPO, for various reasons, including extreme laziness, I’m still not in the desert. No alternative lifestyle ladies overrunning Irvine. And for that matter, damn few in Palm Desert. They tend to stay up in Palm Springs. Usually at the same hotel Andy likes.

  294. Raspberry Cheesecake Jew
    Please

  295. xbrad, that hotel is fabulouth!

  296. xbrad, that hotel is fabulouth!

    Is this something I should know about? I’m not really in the loop.

  297. I know the answers to Scott’s questions, but I am pretty sure he was asking rhetorically.

  298. G-Mo! ‘Sup, bra?

  299. Not much Chief, learned something about MCPO’s over on the ONT tonight.

    How you doin? Saw you talking earlier about moving up into a more natural habitat, where you at?

  300. G-Mo – I’m cuddled up to the Appalachian Mountains in PA.

  301. MCPO, as I was at Lex’s services, I talked to quite a few Sailors. It was amusing how many came from Iowa and other points far, far from the salty sea.

  302. I grew up in a small town in the CO mountains. Man, I never knew how good I had it. Hope to be back someday.

  303. True, xBrad. Very few are from seaside states.

  304. Lights are on, tv is on, gas fireplace is on. Heater is on. Outside lights are on.

  305. Chief,
    Any truth to the rumor that “The Goat Locker” is 119 years old tomorrow?
    If so, “Happy Birthday”, you young pup!
    And, thank you for your service!

  306. Damnable Chief Petty Officers!!

  307. Don’t know what it says about the staff, but this is a cool story. Makes me feel less old.

    http://tinyurl.com/7zawd2o

  308. My home-made pizza is done! (See pizza dough recipe) and I;m drunk. “Film at 11”. It’s the dough, evoo, Contadina tomato paste, Black olives, Red, Green, and yellow sweet peppers!
    This is gonna’ be great!
    /Flounder

    NYTOL.

  309. I don’t have any pizza. But I do have a Snickers bar.

  310. I would have gotten some Skittles, but didn’t want to be gunned down by a white Hispanic.

  311. ‘Spur had a bounty of Skittles. He might share.

  312. Why don’t I just shoot him and take them all?

  313. Why don’t I just shoot him and take them all?

    Are you white hispanic?

  314. I can be. I’m sure someone, somewhere in my family history drove through Spain once.

  315. Shit. it’s raining here.

  316. It’s derping here.

  317. i think it’s sharting here….

    winds out of the south – southeast, at zero to splatter MPH…

  318. Well… glad I’m indoors.

  319. Date night was a success. It is always so weird when we are in a bar and some young thing says: Are you Mrs. [English Teacher] ugh you are supposed to be 16 not 25

  320. L-Mare R-Rosie

    http://tinyurl.com/7xhyte6

  321. Cute letter to Jerry Pournell…

    The health care case at the Supreme Court

    Jerry,

    I fail to see why people are objecting to the health care mandate. Clearly taking care of the sick is a good thing and the only way it can be affordable is for the healthy to subsidize the sick. Why should we let the states keep us from doing a good thing and caring for the people? While we are at it, a government free from corruption is also a good thing. A number of Governors in Illinois have been sent to jail for corruption. We need better federal oversight of state governments. Also the State of Rhode Island is nearly bankrupt and California has severe problems with their budgets. Of course the South has a poor record on Civil Rights. We need a way to convince the people in the states to let the benevolent federal authorities have greater control. I have a modest proposal to convince the states it is in their interest to allow greater central control. We should enact a law that requires each state to send two children to Washington each year to participate in a televised game….

    Mike Plaster


Sorry, the comment form is closed at this time.

Comments RSS