Monday Muscular Motivational

Howdy folks. Dunno ’bout you, but the weekend damn near whooped my ass. Thank God it’s Monday and I can go back to work and relax a bit.

So, you might be asking yourself, do I look fat?

Yep, you look fat. Can you fix that with some hard work?

Maybe. Look, for the sake of argument, let’s say yes. Let’s say you actually pull out that old racket and play some tennis.

Maybe do a little basic yoga or something.

The important thing is to break a sweat now and then, like this gal.

Hideous, I know, all sweaty like that, but you gotta put in the work, and pull yourself up and forward.

Now go slap Monday across the face with your pimp hand, and say “Bitch where’s my money!?”


  1. This is easily my second-best MMM so far.

  2. Last girl – her butt is nice and all, but her arms are a bit … too large.

    I’m just saying. I live to criticize.

  3. Very nice, Leon! Good to see that you’ve chosen women instead of men this week for MMM. Variety is nice.

  4. and sweaty girl doesn’t look too muscly. as in – not a workout person. Just naturally skinny/toned.


  5. Poor Sweaty Girl looks like she might need a jacket to ward off the chill. And that first one sure needs a trim, bless her little heart.

  6. I think the first one looks the most athletic and hot of them all. don’t you think so Cyn?

    I mean, assuming she could take care of those bangs.

  7. Yeah, sweaty girl probably just does some Les Mills classes and barely eats. First girl’s probably my favorite this week.

  8. Agreed, Carin. First one wins hands down.

  9. And I’m off to work. I’ll leave you ladies alone with these ladies.

  10. Later, Leon.

  11. Good job today on the poat.

  12. And that first one sure needs a trim, bless her little heart.

    *breaks mouse-wheel scrolling up*

    Oh. Bangs. Heheh. Right.

  13. Good night ladies (and Leon),

    Just got home, running youngest phatspawn to school then will try to sleep.

    BTW, today is our 19 yr anniversary. Do chicks expect something special on these days?

    Mrs. Phat knows I’m totally whacked out on the day I come off a night shift, so we’re planning a date night tomorrow (I have the next 3 days off, then swap to Day shift).

    Just curious if there’s something I should be doing, but am too tired to think of.

    On a MMM note, Mrs. Phat has been training to the point where she can do unassisted overhand pullups. That is incredibly impressive for a chick.

    Should I be concerned that I’m worth 1 mil in life insurance and she’s now in the best shape of her life ?

    They always say a politician is getting ready to run for higher office when he starts losing weight (fuck you very much Christie, you could have saved us from the Newtmare). Should a husband get concerned when a wife starts the same?

  14. HAHA! Pupster!

  15. Should I be concerned that I’m worth 1 mil in life insurance and she’s now in the best shape of her life ?

    Yea, I’d be sleeping with one eye open.

  16. Phat: Yes, if you’ve done it for all other 18.

    The other two… perhaps.

  17. #1 = Gina Carano, I think. MMA fighter, and in the new movie Haywire. Also an American Gladiator (Crush).

  18. J’Ames, or anyone, what was the engine you recommended besides Firefox. It has become quite the resource hog lately and i’m ready to try something else.

    go Texans!

  19. Gland: Check out Chrome.

    Time for boy school morning rush time for me.

  20. browser. What browser did you recommend?

  21. Chrome is fast. I’m also using PaleMoon, a faster version of Firefox. Plus it’s a 64bit app. If you don’t have 64bit windows, don’t worry about that. But PaleMoon does run fast. Not as fast as Chrome, but it’s not google, either.

  22. I tried Chrome, and then I tried the other one that xbrad suggested.

    Chrome was better on our old crappy computer.

    Go Patriants!

  23. Can you not delete/turn off some of the many add-ons most folks add to Firefox to speed it up, GML?

    Also, Chrome is THE fastest browser by far, but it does take a bit of getting used to.

  24. PaleMoon is the one xbrad suggested. SeanM also tried it, I believe.

  25. FF on Linux is the shizznet.

    Also, GOOD MORNING!!

    J’Ames, I took your suggestion to….heart.

    Great poat, Leon.


  26. That update is real, and spectacular!

  27. Go Giantriots!

  28. The whole nation is the New York-Boston sports market, now.


  29. Better here than San Fran.

  30. Teh Chrome, I has it!

  31. Well, I think the skinny sweaty girl looks the best. Not crazy about sixpacks and big shoulders on gals. A woman can be very fit and have little definition.

    I bet she would look nicer in a sundress too. HulkShoulders there would look like she was wearing drag.

  32. They were both good games, yesterday, a lot closer than I would have thought they would be.

    Billy Cundiff is from Iowa, in fact the town I was born in. Everyone here feels really sorry for him. The town he is from is all football, all the time, quite an athletic school (Harlan Iowa).

  33. I like Fig Newtons. You?

  34. >> HulkShoulders there would look like she was wearing drag.


  35. I like Fig Newtons. You?

    If this isn’t a trick question, then yes, I do love them.

    If it is a trick, forget I typed anything.

  36. Phat thinks Christie is the answer to our conservative prayers?


  37. Wow, you should have heard Coulter on the Mike Gallagher show. She’s absolutely lost her mind. She wouldn’t let him speak, she was so shrill. Coulter almost said (before he cut her off) that if he supported Newt he didn’t love this country because Obama would win with an unprecedented landslide.

  38. – Excellent Post!!
    – morn’n
    – Phat happy Anniversary to you and yours
    – Muffing punts is the new macarena, everybody’s doing it
    – Holy Shit!!!

  39. Mare,

    Not Christie per se, just used him as an example of a fat guy who would have sent signals if he’d started losing weight.

    For conservative never-rans, I wish Jindal and Daniels would have given it a go. I’m also starting to wish Pawlenty would have stayed in.

  40. Finally off to bed. See you this afternoon, daywalkers.

  41. I think Christie is an answer to: Who could beat the shit out of Obama no problem and embarrass him like a little bitch?

    If of course he were running.
    If my aunt had a package she’d be my uncle.

  42. Christie needs to shut his big fat mouth.

  43. Buns. She has them.

  44. I agree Phat.

    I think Perry should have stayed in longer. I thought it was strange he got out so early. Money?

  45. No mare, it was lack of support. He wasn’t going anywhere, and it was pointless to stay in.

  46. I really good article on Perry and why he should get out of the race now. I can’t remember where I read it but, strangely he got out of the race later that same day. Guess he thought it was a pretty good article as well. It was something about him saving face, and for the party, blah blah blah

  47. “No mare, it was lack of support. He wasn’t going anywhere, and it was pointless to stay in.”

    Strange, they said that about Newt too. Also Santorum was dead in the water about 4 months ago.

  48. I can understand Coulter thinking that Romney is more electable, but calling Romney a conservative?

    She is dead to me.

  49. Politics is a funny game. Believing polls can me a mistake. 1000 people polled is not the same as 4000 voting.

    Newt proved that in SC.

  50. Scott did you hear her on Gallagher? She’s a friend of his and made a complete ass of herself. He couldn’t get a word in.

    He can’t believe that republicans are TRASHING any candidate when we don’t know who we’ll end up with. I agree. What happens if Newt gets the nomination?

  51. 99% of all statistics are made up.

  52. The difference between Newt and Santorum being out and Perry being out was that Newt and Santorum were out before any primaries had taken place. Perry was at the bottom of the list in every primary, effectively losing votes. He wasn’t gaining in any poll, no matter how hard he worked it. Santorum had a strong showing in Iowa, Newt in South Carolina. There was nothing like that in Perry’s future.

    Getting out now saved him for another run at it. He’s young, he can wait.

  53. Ann Coulter has gone completely out of her mind about Newt. Gotta wonder WTF is going on.

  54. 43% of all Hostages are gay.

  55. Mare – Sorry, but you are incorrect. 42.96% of all Hostages are Teh Ghey.

  56. What happens if Newt gets the nomination?
    He either wins in a landslide or loses in a landslide. He’ll debate Obama possibly twice, more likely once.

  57. I agree about Coulter, and I really like her. I don’t want her doing battle with Republicans because her guy isn’t winning (first Christie, now Romney).

  58. I think Coulter likes those DC parties a lot more than she will admit. And don’t forget, she considers Bill Maher a friend. That alone has kept me from defending her…ever. He’s an absolute pig. She may have daddy issues.

  59. J’Ames – I tweeted her last night that she was starting to sound like DWS.

  60. 99% of Hostage men like watchin’ hawt lezbo sex.

  61. Haha, good one, MCPO. And she is!

  62. I didn’t Mare, but I did catch her on Fox.

    She’s crazy.

  63. I can’t get tickets to the debate tonight. NBC and the Tampa Times won’t allow the public to attend.

  64. I like #3 and #4 – but I’ve always been of the opinion that a girl should look like…..well, a GIRL……

    Mornin’, all –

  65. 87.4% of Hostages like Hose/latex/goat love.

  66. 1% of Hostages like the super fat BBF’s.

  67. 92% of hostages are sock puppets created by scott.

  68. (And you know who I’m talking about)

  69. Now that we have 4 candidates left, who wants whom?

  70. I already had my vote, so imma gonna let the rest of you decide.

  71. Mare – I’m staying with Rick Santorum for now.

  72. Mrs MJ and I voted last week.

  73. ? huh MJ? You from South Carolina?

  74. Well, I need to start my workout. Later, skaters, h8rs and ass ‘taters!

  75. Early voting in FL.

  76. As usual Steyn nails the subject for me:

    ” Mitt has a ton of consultants, and not one of them thought he needed a credible answer on Bain or taxes? For a guy running as a chief exec applying proven private-sector solutions, his campaign looks awfully like an unreformable government bureaucracy: big, bloated, overstaffed, burning money, slow to react, and all but impossible to change.”

  77. Nice, we don’t have that here in bumfuck Iowa. You have to show up, to be counted in the caucus.

  78. I’m going with whoever gets the nomination, and I’m not trying to dodge anything.

    I am a believer in “anyone but Obama.”

    If Mitt can get his head out of his ass, recant Masscare and be fervent about repealing Obamacare, I’m on board!

  79. 3, count em, 3 days until I leave for Vegas!

    I tweeted Ann Coulter also and told her we could understand her better if she would take Mittens balls out of her mouth.

  80. Pro Life rally today in Washington DC!

  81. I’m gonna let them duke it out for a bit longer. If Romney REALLY wants this thing, he’s going to have to EARN my vote.

    Let’s not kid ourselves – Newt has a LOT of baggage. But at least he is willing to FIGHT. And he can articulate his position. (And I’d love to see him wipe the floor with Obama’s sorry carcass in a debate)

    The jury’s still out for me – and I have time before I have to cast my vote.

    But at least Newt winning SC (and looking competitive in Florida) kept Romney from being “inevitable”. Now Romney has to state what he really is “for” – I haven’t heard much of that from him.

    Santorum is the “Huckabee” of this primary (and there is no way I can support the man), and RuPaul is too crazy for words.

    I’m still a Perry gal, but he’s not in the race any more (*sobs*).

    I’ve stocked up on popcorn, and am settling in for the show……

  82. I like #3 and #4 – but I’ve always been of the opinion that a girl should look like…..well, a GIRL……

    Some of us never had those nice feminine curves. It called – making the best with what you’re born with. There’s a small percentage of women who just naturally have an attractive, girlish figure. They rest of us used to just lament what we didn’t have. Now we’ve decided to make what WE have into a different form of attractive.

  83. Anybody hear anything about this? Should be interesting

  84. He refused a pat down and they wouldn’t let him through screening, he missed his plane. All I’ve heard so far.

  85. Wow, TSA is really screwing up, if that’s true.

  86. I think what I’m enjoying most of all, though, is the Dem’s dumbfounded reactions to how Conservatives can “forgive/overlook” Newt’s past.

    Well, some of us actually READ (rather than have stuff spoon-fed to us), so we know more about the truth of the situations in question.

    And they (the Dems) forget that they are the ones who worked SO HARD to convince people that it was OK for people to get divorced. They are the ones who shoved their “morals” down our throats, and convinced an entire generation that all of this stuff was “not so bad”, and that we should “stay out of politicians’ bedrooms”.

    Too bad for them that their chickens have come home to roost…..

  87. true story Tif. It’s hard to be a hypocrite if you have no morals.

  88. The Pope and Obama are on the same stage in Yankee Stadium in front of a huge crowd.

    The Pope leans towards Mr. Obama and said, “Do you know that with one little wave of my hand I can make every person in this crowd go wild with joy? This joy will not be a momentary display, but will go deep into their hearts and they’ll forever speak of this day and rejoice!”

    Obama replied, “I seriously doubt that! With one little wave of your hand….Show me!”

    So the Pope backhanded him and knocked him off the stage!

    AND THE CROWD ROARED & CHEERED WILDLY and there was happiness throughout the land!

  89. Car in – I didn’t mean to imply that you’re not “girly”, ‘cuz I’ve met you IRL; you’re VERY feminine.

    I just meant that some of these gals have bigger muscles than most GUYS in places that most people don’t think of girls as having big muscles.

    I mean, jeez – some of them have bigger deltoids than Mr. TiFW…..

  90. I’m gonna let them duke it out for a bit longer. If Romney REALLY wants this thing, he’s going to have to EARN my vote.

    Yes, and this is a very good thing.

    Salty Jeebus on margarita glass, the two poats this morning about the SC/Romney/Gingrich story, over at AOS, have to be two of the most incoherent, muddled pieces I’ve seen there in a long time.

    Chief Ewok is lashing out at Republican voters (?) and everyone is lashing out at Ewok. Hey, you know what? Winning the presidency is winning the most powerful gubmint office in the entire world. Let these Republicans fight like hell for it, with each other and Obama too. No one gets a coronation. And if voters in primaries don’t all vote in lockstep with what Pundit X or Commenter Y wants, that’s democracy.

  91. Amen George.

  92. Car in – I didn’t mean to imply that you’re not “girly”, ‘cuz I’ve met you IRL; you’re VERY feminine.

    I didn’t take any insult, Tifw. I’m just pointing out that there is only a small percentage of women who fit – at any one time – with society’s vision of female beauty. I have NO waist, and my legs have always tended toward being muscular. If I don’t keep ’em that way, they turn into lumps of fat.

    I think there are many versions of beauty – male and female. My criticism – earlier – wasn’t that the sweaty girl wasn’t hot; just not muscly, which is the theme of the poat.

    I would have KILLED (when I was young) for the lithe body of a dance – the thin, graceful neck and shoulders. I was always so jealous of the girls, and then women, who could wear just anything and look feminine.

    That’s just not me.

  93. dance- dancer

  94. Thanks George, I thought it was just me.

  95. The Ewok likes us to fall in line, and think what he’s thinking. Sometimes he’s got really thin skin. But it’s thought provoking, nonetheless.

  96. I think what I’m enjoying most of all, though, is the Dem’s dumbfounded reactions to how Conservatives can “forgive/overlook” Newt’s past.

    Heh… equally telling is how Romney’s supporters are dumbfounded by the same issue, and the reverse it true as well: Not-Romney people can’t understand how Romney’s past record in office, in elections and on issues is overlooked. This is a guy who won only one major statewide office, becoming so unpopular he could not run for a second term, and who to this day defends the model for Obamacare that he signed into Massachusetts law. If he’s our nominee, he’s our nominee. That’s democracy.

  97. I mean, jeez – some of them have bigger deltoids than Mr. TiFW…..

    I’ve never met anyone, in person, who I thought was too athletic. Too muscly. Most of these really obnoxious -overly muscled types are an anomaly.

  98. I just wish the people who have a microphone would not COMPLETELY TRASH the “other” candidates. One of them is going to be OUR candidate.

  99. Thanks George, I thought it was just me.

    No, it’s not. Sheesh, it’s stuff like those two posts that keep me away from there lately.

    We’re gonna get whom we get, voters vote, and candidates are who they are. It’s not the voters’ fault if the only people who choose to run are a set like this one, and it’s not the candidates’ fault they cannot be all things to all people.

    It just seems that this time when we’re facing another four years of unenlightened despotism, our frontline troops look like McHale’s Navy.

  100. Look, I know we should be talking food and weather here, but one more thing. People are spending an inordinate amount of time arguing about matters that in the end devolve into “electability,” which is a way of positing “The swing voters decide the presidential election.” Wooing the swing voter, the low-information I’ll-decide-the-day-of-the-election I’m-texting-American-Idol voter largely sounds like an exercise in public relations.

    PR is not exactly an exciting topic for many of us, and when success in politics becomes indistinguishable from success in PR, is it any wonder some of us become bored and leave the room?

  101. I agree, George. The first thing to do in an election is to make sure your base turns out. Obama did that in 2008, McCain didn’t.

  102. Andy to tell everyone to take it to the mothership in 3….2….1

  103. MJ, lots H2’ers came here for the politics.

  104. Now, on to the food and weather segment of our program:

  105. I know. I’m just being a dick.

    Here you go!

  106. You’re never a dick!



  107. I dislike the threatening gaze that bunny is directing towards that innocent tulip.

    Rabbits. They spend their lives scheming and plotting.

  108. So, Mare. How’s whoring today?

  109. Anyone got anything happy to read today?

  110. Anyone got anything happy to read today?

    Not if you visit AOSHQ. It’s wall-to-wall temper tantrum over there.

    Now, listen to this to get happy… or nauseated. Probably nauseated. Also very, very NSFW.

  111. Not if you visit AOSHQ

    Exactly the place I was trying to move away from. Your description just about covers it.

  112. I think Ms. Carano is pretty nice looking.

    And this week’s selection is far nicer than Leon’s usual efforts. Thanks, buddy.

    As to the primaries, I’m quite disappointed with the field. I wonder if Perry was still suffering from back problems? Did he feel he wasn’t up for a long haul? At any rate, I just don’t know who to choose. I don’t have any great animosity toward, nor great enthusiasm for, any of the three.

  113. Pretty good Carin.

    Cleaned off my little back patio….think about tidying up the garage.

  114. And Car in, there may well be an approved version of what’s attractive, but I myself find a wide variety of women attractive, and I can’t say I’ve found a single theme that unites them all.

    There’s been about 150 women selected for Load HEAT, and I found every one of them attractive. Even Fran Drescher.

  115. Wow…I missed a hell of a conversation here.

    Remind me to not do anything around the house next time.

  116. Great workout this morning! It’s a no carb day, so lunch consisted of ham & cheese wrapped in some lettuce. Dinner will be pan-fried venison tenderloins and a salad with raspberry vinaigrette.

  117. For the impeccably dressed Hostage man:

  118. Shit. I slept wrong, and now my neck is as stiff as Romney’s personality.

  119. MCPO, dinner sounds pretty damn good. Save me a plate!

  120. Are you doing South Beach MCPO?

  121. When I was a kid I had a real jones for Pamela Hensley, a minor actress in the seventies, with unfortunate roles on shows like “Buck Rogers.”

    So, this either means I like sultry women with heavy features and full lips, or I’m a closet gay costume designer. And not a very good one.

  122. For the impeccably dressed Hostage man:

    Too butch.

  123. Good morning, my mouth-breathing brethren .

  124. George, she was very attractive, I remember her.

  125. *respires heavily through gap-toothed piehole*

    “G’mohrnin, Shaawn”

  126. I am wavering between Newt and Santorum. Newt articulates very well. Santorum has no dirt and is conservative conservative.

    I’ll hold my nose for Romney but pffffft on him.

    And my arm hinge hurts. I had blood drawn last week and the gal moved the needle while changing tubes. I had a knot afterwards, now a nasty bruise. Dumbass.

    I wish I had an ass. I used to.

  127. George, I think it’s the former, since a lot of my male friends really had the hots for her, too.

    And only one of them is gay. And he just came out of the closet.

  128. Okay, that Munster-wear is absolutely hideous. Dumbass designers.

  129. George, Buck kinda grooved on her. So you can’t have been too wrong.

  130. Mare – I did South Beach and lost 25 lbs. . . which quickly returned from mid-November until January. Now, I’ve increased my exercise and am doing 3 no carb days a week.

  131. *waves to Sean*

    No, I haven’t gone on a rampage today, not have I shot at hobos.

    The day is young.

  132. Man, life is strange. Gil Gerard is starting to look like William Shatner.

  133. Thankfully, Erin Gray has aged a little better:

  134. Ok, kitchen cleaned. Bathrooms next.


  135. Youngest turns 10 today.

    *double sob

  136. Erin Gray

    I always thought she had a classic beauty.

  137. Gil Gerard used to have a house around here.

  138. Happy birthday to your youngest, Carin!

    *gives Carin box o’wine*

  139. Anyone got anything happy to read today?

    I picked up Ameritopia on saturday. I haven’t started it yet, because I’m reading a book one of Puppy Blender’s readers wrote – Archangel. It’s got a kinda shaky set up- but it’s strangely riveting.

  140. Youngest turns 10 today.

    Time to start on the next batch.

  141. nyone got anything happy to read today?

    ALSO – whenever I need a pick-me-up, I either click over to WWTDD, or Michellesmirror.

    that last one always cracks me up.

  142. Time to start on the next batch.</em.

    I KNOW, right?

  143. Aggie, untold trillions of sperm died at the hands of young men watching Colonel Wilma Deering…

  144. Erin Gray? NOW you’re talking. Mmmmm, buck rogers, with the tighty whitey uniforms!

  145. html is apparently too hard for me today.

  146. You’ll notice I commented on that Load HEAT 😉

  147. ok, xbrad, that was just wrong.

    Funneh, but wrong.

  148. Carin – Chin up. . . you’re not a grandma yet!

  149. Mmmmm, buck rogers, with the tighty whitey uniforms!

    Huh. I don’t remember them running around in these…

  150. In the future…

    All men will look like William Shatner.

  151. Stop it, Sean, you’ll make the hallucination go away!

  152. At least the ladies weren’t running around like this

  153. OMG, I love the internets.

  154. J’Ames, I updated, as requested.

  155. All men will look like William Shatner.

    Hawt! He was one of my first loves.

    Oh, and Erin Gray: always and still a stunner.

  156. OMG!!! Thanks for that Lego linkie, George!!

  157. At least the ladies weren’t running around like this


  158. That C-ration sheet from WWII is very interesting, xbrad.

  159. That’s a K-Ration, George. A quite different ration.

  160. Hah, I saw that, aggie. Nice choice, once again!

  161. I see, K-rations were lightweight for paratroops?

  162. George, originally intended for paratroops, they eventually were issued to just about everybody at one point or another.

    They were a lot lighter than a C ration, and designed to be somewhat more palatable when eaten cold.

  163. Youngest turns 10 today.
    *double sob

    Ten is fun but they’re growing up too fast!

  164. Youngest turns 10 today.
    *double sob*

    Happened to see Rebecca (age 10 1/2) from behind this morning as she was getting dressed.

    She has HIPS and a WAIST (and little tiny nubs that are about to turn into boobies!)


  165. Ooooooh, I wonder if West will be Newt’s running mate. Great choice.

  166. Ooooooh, I wonder if West will be Newt’s running mate. Great choice.

    Great choice indeed; I could get behind that.

  167. Sounds like the Junior Senator from Illinois (Mark Kirk – R) is lucky to still be alive:

    *wonders how long it will be before the Dems (“Pay no attention to how we dealt with Gabby Giffords”) are calling for him to be replaced – 5…4…3…2…*



  170. If the dog whistle terms on the right are ‘states rights, community organizer, welfare, food stamps, and Juan,’ what are the dog whistle terms of the left?

    I’m assuming that any rational human being believes that if it exists on one side of the political spectrum, it must exist on the other.

  171. I’m assuming that any rational human being believes that if it exists on one side of the political spectrum, it must exist on the other.

    Hahaha, you used rational and political in the same sentence! DRINK!

  172. “what are the dog whistle terms of the left?”

    There are none, because – shut up. And you hate dark people.

  173. xbrad, what’s the shelf-life of the current rations in service today?

  174. The left doesn’t use dog whistles. They just come right out and state that black people can’t do it on their own. Nothing hidden in that.

  175. Dave, it varies by storage condition. Temperate conditions give a shelf life of about three years, but storage in less than ideal conditions gives between 6 months and a year.

    Having said that, a lot of them last a lot longer than that. I’ve seen 20 year old MREs that are still good.

  176. Hahaha, you used rational and political in the same sentence! DRINK!

    Ha Ha!! Sometimes I hate this game.

  177. I’m sick of cleaning bathrooms.

  178. Has Roamy checked in today? I haven’t seen here but maybe I missed her?? Bad storms there.

  179. Xbrad–check you gmale please.

  180. Cyn, haven’t seen her today, but the news said the worst storms were south of her.

  181. Not seeing anything, Cyn…

  182. Okay thanks. In that case, do not check your gmale.

  183. Comment by GMLand on January 23, 2012 11:31 am

    I’m calling bullshit. Reliant Stadium yes. Yankee Stadium no.

  184. Hiya PG! Smoooches

    That reminds me: Gheeeee! Any layovers in PHX to/from Vegas?

  185. “Andy to tell everyone to take it to the mothership in 3….2….1”

    No, don’t do.

  186. No Cyn, sorry. Direct flights in and out.

    The good news is, we fly out Sunday morning at 10:00 – which is the morning after the big party. I have no idea how I am going to manage this.

    PG – you’re absolutely right. I should have corrected instead of just copy and pasting. My bad.

  187. J’Ames – sounds like your Senator is a real pit bull (in a VERY good way):

    That had to leave a mark…….

  188. Grassley is very good at times. He is a moderate Republican, with all the pitfalls that come with it. That said, he is NOT Tom Harkin.

    Chuck is probably the best we’ll get in a statewide election. I don’t see us electing a Steve King type for Senator, as much as I prefer that.

  189. Direct flights in and out.

    Oh, okay.


    I didn’t want to have a mini-meat anyways.

    *insert drama llama gif here if i could find the damned thing*

  190. you could always go to Vegas. Then again, multiple Hostages in Vegas at once, it’s one of the seven signs, isn’t it?

  191. it’s one of the seven signs, isn’t it?

    Could be the whore Babylon…

  192. Flights are pretty cheap to hit Vegas…. And Lipstick is there too…. hmmmmm.

  193. Could be the whore Babylon Mare…


  194. Hey!!!!


  196. That would be cool Cyn. Of course, I am not going to tell you that we are staying at the Hard Rock and that we will not be attending a party at the Club Vanity on Saturday night. You will have to find all that out on your own.

  197. This is not the party we will be attending –

  198. I saw part of Oprah’s interview with George Lucas. I now know where Michelle Obama gets the idea that a big wide belt between a too huge bosom and a too large stomach looks good.

  199. Hey!!!!

    But I mean that in a nice way.

  200. Fun GML. What are you wearing?

  201. hahaha…you scamp!

  202. Dammit, Ghee, you are always so secretive!

  203. Fun GML. What are you wearing?

    – – – – –

    Upon arrival, something casual and understated.

    After the first tequila shot – a little less

    After the 5th tequila shot – probably nothing

  204. Ooo, that event looks fancy, like I might have to shave my legs.

  205. Huh.

    My comment after Ghee’s suddenly looks entirely in appropriate.

  206. *shrugs shoulders and begins to wonder how much tequila to bring*

  207. HA!

    Two H2’ers found naked at Vanity Club!

  208. And the irony… it’s burns a little.

  209. Romney/Christie need to rethink the attack on Newt deal. I guess Christie is going to be Romney’s VP…he’s already acting like the surrogate attack dog. Good for the job but he should project it toward Obama not Republicans.

  210. Good thing Ghee doesn’t name drop Josh Homee or Maynard, or I’d have to stalk him.

    He’s safe with Nick Carter. I mean, from me. Maybe not from Xbrad.

  211. And the irony… it’s burns a little.


    Yeah, I’m not going to be attending (naked).

  212. Naw, they needs to keep it up, Mare. Newt will just keep chewing them up and spitting them out.

  213. Hmm, xbrad may be right about Perry’s back surgery being ill timed and a burden for the governor while doing a national campaign.

  214. HAHAHA

    Yeah, I’m not going to be attending (naked).

    eXACTly! Nudity… Vanity…


  215. Ha ha ha … my son just said :

    “It feels good to be double digits.”

  216. Cyn, I got you a gift for “our” housewarming:

  217. I got us a set of six.

  218. Awww, you are so sentimental Mare; you minx you. I can’t wait for you to be my wife. HAHAHA!

  219. Ahhh, I wish I had a ten year old Carin. He sounds fun!

    Ten is a fun year….they all are!!

  220. Can I move in with you and Cyn, Mare? We could have an “open relationship”.

  221. Hi to everybody who said “hi”. Fuck the rest of y’all. Now>>>>back to a really shitty day at work.

  222. He is fun. A funny kid. an oops. Oopses are nice.

  223. OMG, OMG, OMG!!!

    We forgot to say hi to PD!!!!

    He may go rogue!!

  224. “It feels good to be double digits.”

    How funny! It was extra-fun once my boys hit the double digits: They still like to hold your hand (in private of course), they don’t hold back on the hugs, and their humor really starts to flourish.

  225. I wish I had an oopsie. And I’m not talking about my restraining order from Tebow.

  226. 10 years old? Is he drunk yet?

    Happy Birthday!

  227. I’m good with you joining us, Carin. I even have a few skorts so we could be twinkies on a few days!

  228. I have two kids that are still all over me /snuggling on the coach and another (my 16 y/o) who will do it too.

  229. I wish I had an oopsie. And I’m not talking about my restraining order from Tebow.
    Ha ha ha.

    They key, Mare, is to drink too much Tanquray one night …

    that’s how I got Ethan.

  230. I’m good with Carin joining too. Do I have to get one of those mullet deals that lesbians like?

  231. I’m good with you joining us, Carin. I even have a few skorts so we could be twinkies on a few days!

    Oh, THE FUN we will have.

    And all the other hostages will be so jealous of us.

  232. “They key, Mare, is to drink too much Tanquray one night …”

    Sounds easy enough. I wish you would have told me 10 years ago…thanks for nothing!

  233. Do I have to get one of those mullet deals that lesbians like?

    Oh god no, Mare. We’re going to stay ‘pretty lesbians’. But I do have a few flannel shirts that I think we’re all going to enjoy.

  234. Ahhh, I wish I had a ten year old Carin…..

    I would just like to take a moment here and remind everyone that commas are our friends…

  235. I’m good with Carin joining too. Do I have to get one of those mullet deals that lesbians like?

    I’d look horrible in a mullet. And those flannel shirts. I’m afraid we’re going to have to be of the “lipstick” variety.

  236. ‘pretty lesbians’.

    Well, we’ll see. I like your optimism!

  237. Don’t be stereotypical, go with the feminine lesbian look.

    And lots of lingerie pillow fights.

  238. Sounds easy enough. I wish you would have told me 10 years ago…thanks for nothing!

    Dangit. Sorry.

  239. Yes, Wiser, commas are our friends!

    hahahaha…good catch!

  240. If I get Mare as secret santa next year, I’m gonna get her a wallet on a chain.

  241. And lots of lingerie pillow fights.

    Yep; right after our morning coffee and sea salt scrub facials / full body massages.

  242. “If I get Mare as secret santa next year, I’m gonna get her a wallet on a chain.”

    Mens levi’s too, don’t forget that part of the uniform.

  243. Ok, gym time. write funny stuff in case I get bored on the stepper.

  244. Whore Blog

  245. I’m gonna get her a wallet on a chain.

    OMG… tears are streaming down my cheeks I’m laughing so hard!! I might have even tinkled a little too. HAHAHA!

  246. Hostagettes?

  247. Yeah, I gotta get back to work myself here so I can pay for you girls. Love doesn’t come cheap ya know!

  248. Find one with three, wiserbuns, and you’ll have hit a home run.

  249. Yeah, get to work, I’m not as cheap as you think!

  250. Find one with three, wiserbuns, and you’ll have hit a home run.

    look, if you knew the types of images I had to go through to find that one SFW link when using the search term “lesbians in training,” you would be happy you got what you did.

    It was horrible. Horrible. And traumatic. And strangely arousing. But horrible!!!

    Well, back to Bing work.

  251. Find one with three, wiserbuns, and you’ll have hit a home run.

    By the way, there are 3. Who do you think is holding the camera?

  252. Oh god no, Mare. We’re going to stay ‘pretty lesbians’. But I do have a few flannel shirts that I think we’re all going to enjoy.

    Cyn Johnson is right!

  253. Bing for the schwing? Hawt!


    Cyn Johnson is right!

    See?!? THANK you, Sean.


    That’s exactly how I’m going to look as an old lesbian!

  256. I live to give.

  257. Okay, Mare, I’ve about had it with you.


    Denim chaps won’t hold up well, they will fall apart faster than…… nevermind

  259. I see Beasn made that cake xBrad asked for. . .

  260. Cyn has been working with computers for some time. . .

  261. I always hated that pic of me in that dress, MCPO. THANKS A LOT for dredging it back up!

    *flings punch cards everywhere and storms off*

  262. I feel amused when Ace becomes hysterical.

    Does that make me a bad person?

  263. Mullet haircut
    Flannel shirt
    Wallet on a chain
    Guy’s Levi’s

    *Remembers last time DD#2 was home for a visit*

    At least she didn’t have a mullet.
    (It was a buzzcut…..)

  264. Oh, and this is good.
    Long, but good:

  265. Is Ace letting Coulter get to him?

  266. I didn’t see anything about Coulter. I was laughing at this morning’s posts savaging Gingritch.

    He seems to get emotionally invested in his positions and then has a conniption when they implode.

  267. I wish I had broad shoulders like that fellow doing pull-ups. Not sure I care for the long hair though.

  268. HA! Jew!

    Jewstin, Coulter lost her mind this morning (nonstop talking, shrill, really shrill) about Gingrich

  269. Ace may think his position may garner him some attention from Coulter!

  270. Ace is currently burning up Twitter with his Newt unhappiness.

  271. Mitt and Obama are too similar for my liking. Mitt is certainly more moderate, but as Obama said “I’m a blank slate upon which you can write your hopes and dreams,” Mitt’s willingness to waffle on every conceivable topic says the same thing about him.

    Newt is erratic and a firebrand, but at least he’s not a poll-driven marionette.

  272. Looked through those tweets MCPO.

    How did Ace go from supporting Perry to going nuts on Gingrich?

  273. Mare – I would have to go with Jewstin’s analysis

  274. It’s time to start supper but I don’t know what to do with eggplant. CURSE YOU IMPULSE PURCHASES!!!

    *Shakes fist at Mare for good measure.

  275. Panko bread crumbs, olive oil, grated Parmesan cheese and some spaghetti sauce.


  276. Mark Levin is crushing Chris Christie on his comments on Newt.

    When Levin uses facts, dates and names Christie looks like a big fat idiot.


    I second that suggestion. Good call!

  278. Excellent, MCPO. I even have some spicy Italian sausage for garnish.

  279. I just had rotisserie chicken (breast) over sautéed spinach.

    Delicious, fast, diet friendly.


  280. FOOD BLOG!

  281. Jew, do NOT forget to spatchcock it.

  282. Eggplant? Fry that shit up with some cornmeal in lard. Throw it away and drink the lard in a highball glass.

    Garnish with cheeseburger.

  283. That actually sounds quite satisfying, Pupster.

  284. Mare – We had the venison, wrapped in bacon, sauteed in EVOO and garlic, accompanied by a wonderful salad.

  285. I like everyone’s dinner including Pup’s suggestion.

  286. Pupster, I actually like veggebles.

    *Daubs patchouli oil behind ears

    *Hugs laurel tree

    *Whispers ‘Your leaves taste sooo good in my sauce.’

  287. What the fornication is this scat?!

  288. I like veggies too, but I’ve yet to acquire a taste for eggplant. We made ratatouille a couple of times this summer, but the eggplant ruined it in my opinion.

  289. Jew – someone was wearing patchouli at Krogers last week, and she stunk up the ENTIRE store. She was an older woman, and didn’t look like she had just participated in an owwie demonstration, so I don’t know what the deal was.

  290. Second week episode of Alcatraz is on Fox tonight. LOST fans will be sorry if they don’t immediately start following this show.

  291. Eggplant? Throw that shit out and buy some meat.

  292. excellent article at the mothership hunchbacked lady

  293. Oooooh – Humpy “brought it” over at Ace’s…..

    Well, done, Ms. Laura!

  294. LauraW – Well done! That is a fine post, young lady.

    *flutters eyelashes at the hump*

  295. Good job Humpy

  296. That was nice Lauraw.

  297. Whew. I made the mistake of listening a bit to Mitt Romney’s Special Friend Hugh Hewitt’s show today, and about five minutes consumed my limit for toleration. I mean, you can only take so much veiled partisan slobbering before you start hearing the seventies porn soundtrack in your mind.

  298. Oh, Lauraw, that was terrific!

  299. Laura for Press Secretary!

  300. “So, you might be asking yourself, do I look fat?”

    Yes, yes I do. But on me it looks good.

  301. West! How you doing you irascible bastage?

  302. Hey, MCPO, ever’body. Doin alright. How’re you, you fargin icehole?

  303. Love the Harcourt Fenton Mudd avatard.

  304. I grilled pork chops because I’m not some eggplant-eatin sissy.

  305. Lock your doors MCPO, PJM is apparently on I-81.

  306. Pork chop eating sissies are much more macho!

  307. Thanks, George. One of my heroes. A good friend once came up with the idea that the movie series should have introduced the ‘Son of Mudd”, played by ‘Joe Isuzu’ (David Leisure). Damn, that would’ve been awesome.

  308. Scott – I used to drive that stretch every day for work. That is the weirdest thing I’ve seen.

  309. Lines from a Texas barbershop:

    Barber: Would you like me to trim the eyebrows a little?

    Dave: *groan* Okaaaaay.

    *buzz buzz comb buzz*

    Barber: How about the ears?

    Dave: FUUUUUUUUUU.. yes.

  310. Lines from a Texas barbershop salon:

    Fixted for accuracy.

  311. Ear hair? In the 80’s that was linked to heart attacks.

    More recently they realized they were stupid.

  312. Harcourt Fenton Mudd… sounds like he could be one of our very own elite politicians with a name like that.

  313. * gives pupster a cupcake *

  314. Did anybody put the ram in anybody else’s ram-a-lam-a-ding-dong today?

  315. No, but that thing with the “Sham?”

    I did that.

  316. I can’t afford a lam-a-ding-dong. It’s been a very bad month for employment. I even had to borrow someone’s ram-a.

  317. No, but I drive a Ram. Is that enough for an attendance award?

  318. Ear hair?

    Prostate cancer, you should get that checked out.

  319. Wow.

  320. That was for dave.

  321. Anybody else’s? uhhhh, no.

  322. >> Prostate cancer, you should get that checked out.


  323. Oh, man. I just saw Coulter on Fox. She’s gone full Rosetta.

  324. Who’da thunk I’d want to take a three-toothed (HAWT) hunchback out for some pudding…but I do. Well, I would have done that before going over to Ace’s.

  325. Aww, I missed Coulter? I hope someone handed her Laura’s very well done article!

  326. Ace is going to fire me.


    *steals a box of paperclips from the office supply closet*

  327. Very nice job Laura!!

  328. Yeah, take the paperclips. That’s all you need.

    And that red stapler. That red stapler and those paperclips, that’s all you need.

    But not the pudding. DON’T TAKE THE PUDDING!

  329. Great post, Lauraw. Are there any pencils in the supply closet?

  330. Hey thanks!

  331. She’s gone full Rosetta.

    Silly MJ, she always wears dresses and matching pumps….oh wait, you mean they weren’t matching?

  332. LauraW is s-o-o fired. She knows that Ace & Coulter are simpatico on this one!

  333. *rummages*
    *muttering…you know this is goofy, we’re a blog, the Hell we need these…OOOO TINY POST-IT NOTES I LOVE THESE…

    *stuffs pockets*

  334. Someone send an ark!

  335. I think you’re safe. he didn’t fire Russ for going ballistic on him during the ethanol wars. You might just have to go into hiding.

  336. I just saw Coulter on Fox. She’s gone full Rosetta.

    She’s wearing a gas mask, or she’s got the hots for Kerry Marie?

  337. They did not match. And one was *gasp* white.

    Hey lauraw:

  338. “stick your food stamps back in your ass where they came from, and get out of the way. You’re killing us.”

    Ab-so-fuckin’-lutely. Sweet.

    I just went all last week watching snippets of CNN (TV in the lobby at work) where they were going on non-stop about Romney’s low tax rates etc., etc. I said to myself “Fine, burn yerselves out going after Romney, We’ll just switch to Newt – I don’t like Romney that much anyway”. And that’s what we did. Pulled the rug right out from under the MSM. I like Newt, at least he’s a scrapper.

  339. She’s wearing a gas mask, or she’s got the hots for Kerry Marie?
    No, she’s drunk, has a face bush, and married way above herself.

  340. laura, you articulated that very well and much better than I have been trying to do.

    The thing that gets me is that so many people would think that ‘lowly’ jobs are an insult. That to employ a shit ton of kids in the same position of one union job, would be insulting to minorities or the poor. WTF? I can’t get my head around that mindset.
    What poor kid wouldn’t like to earn money…to be in charge of it and what it could purchase. Insane.

  341. “Yeah, take the paperclips. That’s all you need.

    And that red stapler. That red stapler and those paperclips, that’s all you need.”

    And that ashtray. That’s all you need.

  342. And since I mentioned kids, which took me to schools and who they employ, it pisses me off even more. In my district we start playground and hall monitors at $10/hr with full health benefits. The fuck?

  343. Someone in that thread mentioned how insulting Juan Williams was to janitors, lol. If I were a janitor, I’d be like, wtf, am I an untouchable now? My work is too low for your special little angels?

  344. They did not match. And one was *gasp* white

    The DEVIL you say!

  345. It rained here like a cow pissing on a rock and flooded the street and my basement. Mr. RFH is assessing the damage. One of the streets on the usual route to work and school was totally underwater.

  346. Ha ha ha haaa MJ

  347. In high school, I worked for my counselor – who owned a maintenance company on the side – cleaning office buildings. It sucked but it was a job. Doing that kind of work makes me respect those that do it in a huge way.

  348. Every person should have to work a service job at some point in their lives. It would make people much more pleasant to janitors, waiters, waitresses, flight attendants, etc.

  349. So glad to hear from you Roamy; sending the ark now!

  350. I started babysitting when I was 10 because I got tired of hand me downs from my older sister and my mom always sewing my clothes from the remnant table at the fabric store. Even for the 70s that stuff was ugly.

  351. Ugh, that’s awful, roamy. Hope it was at least clean water!

  352. I’ve known the lady who cleans the office for 20 years. It’s a family business. Her husband, her kids, and now even her grandkids, they all show up every evening at 7 and scrub the place down. They work their butts off from sunup until 10pm or so.

    I think one of those little shits swiped all the change from my desk.

    or was it.. hey, where the fuck is my stapler?

  353. Every person should have to work a service job at some point in their lives.

    Hear, hear. Such valuable lessons from that.

  354. Chief, tweet laura’s poat to Coulter.

    Ann should chill and remember the Dixie Chicks.

  355. I liked working when I was a kid.

  356. Okay, time for me to start pig doodie. The wind was gusting pretty hard last night and kept me up. I tired.

    And work has cut everyone’s hours. Less time = less product and yet those shitheads keep coming around asking us ‘ can you get that filled?’, ‘why isn’t that filled?’, ‘why is your case empty?’.

    Really? *scratches ass*

    *wonders if the reason why they are cutting our hours so bad is to do with the person, in the cash office, who made off with $20k or more – and was in there about 6 months. Really. *

  357. You learn the physical processes by which the world operates. You learn the protocols involved in having a job. You learn that when you screw up, you can often fix it, and how to own up to such things and prevent things from going wrong in the future. You learn a lot of things about people. It’s endless, it’s only the basic underpinnings of life.

    But that is demeaning.

  358. There’s *another* debate? Gah.

  359. “Every person should have to work a service job”

    Screw that.

  360. I worked, steadily, from age 11 to age 55.

  361. People suck. i won’t work with them.

  362. Beasn, we are trying to make payroll for fiscal year at my store. My team is only scheduled 15 hours each for the next two weeks. I tried to give my hours to 2 of my harder workers and use vacation but I wasn’t allowed.

  363. People suck.

    This is why you are my favorite, Scott.

  364. ….I need THIS…..

  365. People suck. i won’t work with them.

    This must be the attitude where “The Glare™” comes from.

  366. Osoloco, that is what we are probably doing, but there is that huge cash theft thing too.
    My solution is get rid of a couple of layers of management. There is at least four layers just at store level. That should ease up the cash flow.

  367. Did somebody link this already? Rush had a caller today – black man named Dennis, been a Democrat all his life, is DONE with Obama over the Keystone pipeline.

    He was impressed by Newt at the debates, and felt like a candidate was finally articulating his (Dennis’) frustrations.

    Rush was FLOORED by this guy:

  368. Not to mention our last manager being so incompetent.

  369. If I remember right, our local conservative radio gal, Dana Loesch, said that she attended some tea party or townhall function where Newt showed up and listened to everyone’s frustrations/gripes. Said she wasn’t a fan of Newts but did give him a nod for doing such a thing.

  370. Beasn, they’ve been clearing out management recently and going with the younger, cheaper, recent college grads. I am getting tired of training them.

  371. ‘Ello, ‘Ostages.

  372. “Every person should have to work a service job”
    I’m not blowing anybody.

  373. Sky – Are the fires out?

  374. Went to a private school, couldn’t work. But when the soda machines at school sold soda for $.50 a can, me and a buddy went down to the local bottling plant and bought cases of soda at about $.25 a can. Sold ’em out of coolers (free ice from the cafeteria, hauled by yours truly,) for $.35. Made some nice coin, back in the day when a carton of smokes was $2.73. Last two summers of HS I was a roustabout on the circus – yeah, really, and it was hard damn work, putting up a Big Top by hand. Worked on my uncle’s farm, wringing chicken’s necks & hauling the carcasses out to the dump pit, slopped the barn, and hayed – haying was just about the hardest work I’ve ever done, and we worked until our hands bled. Learned carpentry (by working) as a teenager, stocked the warehouse at Barkers (kind of a K-Mart), worked my way through college as a waiter, carpenter, and lab tech.

    I did swear that I wouldn’t make my kids work their way through college, though – the negatives were kinda high.

    Work does not necessarily ennoble the spirit, but it will better’n laying around complaining.

  375. I’m not blowing anybody.

    Job implies being paid, not doing it for free.

  376. I’m not blowing anybody.

    Lying makes the Baby Jesus cry.

  377. For now, Chief, it seems like the universe is done lighting my city on fire. We finally started to get some rain/snow – there was no snow in Reno/Tahoe in all of December, first time that’s happened in 128 years, and it’s just left everything ripe for fucking fires.

    This summer is going to be exciting.

  378. They moved Mom to a rehab facility where she will live for the next three weeks.

  379. I heard that guy on the radio, TiFW, it was a great call.

    haying was just about the hardest work I’ve ever done

    This + 1,385,159

  380. STALKER!


  381. SoHoS – How did the surgery go?

  382. Hope your mom heals quickly, sohos.

  383. Oh my, Newt is proud of supporting Medicare Part D.

  384. Ember!


  385. Sorry, Stalker. *puts Dr. Pepper on the windowsill. and a blanket. ’cause it’s kinda cold*

  386. Prayers for yer mom, Sohos. Hope she heals up fast.

  387. Grandma called tonight. That was nice. My neighbors were forced to listen to my half of the conversation.

  388. Thanks, Ember.

    *gulps Dr Pepper, wraps self in blanket*

  389. The surgery went well. She is already up and putting weight on. She is in pain but the surgeon is happy. Thanks yall

  390. I was 13 when I started cleaning up the neighborhood butcher/fish market. I think I made $1/hr. I was good because I could take apart all the machinery clean the meat paste etc up.

    Those big deep sloping windows in the meat cases were my downfall. Restaurants were much easier.

  391. Heya, Vman; I left some spam in the folder for you to take a gander at and maybe submit to Akismet; the name is very similar to yours.

  392. West,

    The only part time job I could get in high school was working at the Tom Thumb in Bedford, Tx.

    More jobs were out there, but grocery store shift work was the only thing I could fit in around football and soccer practices,

    My step-dad owned ‘The Lodge’ and ‘Caligula 21’, both quality gentlemens clubs, but I was trying to be a Baptist boy.

    Long story short: I ended up working in the titty-bars before I went to college.

    Sounds like a good thing, but it exposed me to some dark stuff a bit early. The girls were 70/30 messed up.

    This is by the Phat scale,

  393. Vmax,

    Did you remember the vodka?

  394. Starbucks is going to start serving beer and wine in some of its SoCal locations. Is it possible to burn beer and wine?

  395. Sohos, Praying for your Mom. Glad you’ll be able to be there with her.

  396. Yeah, Phat, I hear ya. Most people don’t do that crap unless they are desperate or screwed up. I hated business trips when the clients would haul me to a dark, sticky tittie bar that served bad liquor so’s they could ogle the skin of the spavined swaybacks that worked there. Depressing. And I had to pretend I was having a good time. I’d rather clean toilets with my tongue.

    Oh, yeah, I mowed lawns all trough grade school and Jr HS. My mother was always pissed that our lawn got mowed last and least.

  397. Sean,

    “Is it possible to burn beer and wine?”

    Sure. Just wrap a hobo around ’em. Gives the meat a nice flavor.

  398. Starbucks is going to start serving beer and wine in some of its SoCal locations. Is it possible to burn beer and wine?

    If anyone can find a way to fuck it up, Starbucks can. I hate their damned coffee. And I’m a lover of coffee.

  399. Starbucks used to have good coffee when they offered single origin options during the day. They fucked that up when they switched to Pike’s Peak bullshit.

  400. I like Starbucks coffee. Most of the people who work there seem to like it OK, too. Beats the hell out of the rat piss DD serves these days. I used to be a DD fan – you could go to any DD, get the SAME damned cuppa at every store, and it wasn’t bad. Now quality is all over the map, and the best of it sucks ass. The DD coffee went to shit when they started selling all that specialty crap.

  401. Starbucks always tastes like they burned the beans to me.

  402. I did Phat, and having dated a few strippers, never again.
    Yes but only 1 bottle they raised the price!

  403. In California I loved Saturdays because I would go to Peet’s for coffee and then to the bookstore across the street. Peet’s was the best.

  404. Starbucks does burn their beans, Chief.

  405. Hi Sky!
    Sorry for being so rude!

  406. Hi Vmax!
    Rude? Here? What?

  407. I missed saying hello to you for several hours.Welcome back. I am glad you survived the fires.

  408. Now a days I get little time to haunt H2. So I just open the latest poat, search for the word ‘Pupster’ and enjoy some gifs. Today I was disappointed.

    The saving grace was Scott offering a cupcake to Pupster.

  409. Noone is ever rude at the hostagess. It’s a safety rule.

  410. Tushar – What did you do today to ensure Chris Christie has pie tonite?

  411. Chief, I worked like a slave, and I am still working after coming home. Unfortunately that douchenozzle Cuomo gets a slice of my earnings too.

  412. I’ve had a bunch of people dissing Starbucks with the ‘burnt beans’ meme. Many of ’em sing the praises of Caribou Coffee (who supposedly don’t ‘burn’ the beans). I’ve had CC several times and it’d take a gas chromatograph to tell the difference.

  413. I don’t actually expect anyone to greet me, so you’re good. 😉 Well, now that there’s been snow and rain, we should be okay on fires for a month or two. Hopefully.

  414. Hiya all!

  415. Hey Revvy!

  416. When did Andrea Mitchell turn into Sarah Jessica Parker? She looks horsey.

  417. Cassie has clean ears! She also hates me. Anna Banana has squeaky ears and I only clean her 1x a month. Cassie is 1x a week!
    Bear needs a bath a day and I am running out of shampoo!

  418. 🙂 Hi MCPO.

    How’s everyone today?

  419. well that was a total suckfest. I can’t wait to watch ten more of these

  420. I don’t actually expect anyone to greet me, so you’re good.

    *Michael considers pathetic appeal for attention*

    *Michael remembers that Sky is hot*

    Hi Sky!!!

    *waves exuberantly*

  421. Revvy – My abs are sore, but I’m hitting it again tomorrow.

  422. yay?

  423. OK, Revvy’s here, so now I can’t tell y’all any stories about when I dated a stripper.

    Oh, yeah, Hi Sky. Nice to meet’cha.

  424. Watching Republican debates or Letterman reruns, Dave?

  425. Hey, Batman! *tacklehugs*

  426. Nice t’meet’cha, too, West. *waves* And, hi, DinT!

  427. Hi Revvy!

    *Michael jumps up and down, does five chin-ups to show off*

  428. You already told me the story about how you banged a supermodel and she gave you crabs.

    Stop pretending like you’re a good influence or something.

  429. I’m just reading the Vodkapundit drunkblog of the debate. I’ll get video highlights (if here are any) tomorrow.

    Keerist, why, why, why are Republicans debating on NBC? WTF?

    Did Churchill go the the Reichstag to debate Hitler?

  430. same crap agile.

    Howdy Revvy, Revvy’s dad, Sky, Michael, VMax, Jew, Chief, Scary Brown guy, phat Cyn Sohos (hope your mom’s better), Sean, Jay, EmJay, TiFW, beasnin, Bob Carol Ted and Alice.

  431. Jesus, Rev, that was told as a life lesson and in strict confidence.

  432. ahh, dad’s and their girls.

    West, this is why I didn’t tell my daughters shit. not a damn thing.

  433. You already told me the story about how you banged a supermodel and she gave you crabs.

    Don’t be stupid. It was actually a local model who did “plus size” ads for the Sunday supplement.

  434. Hi, Sky!
    Hi, Revvy!
    Hi, West!

    Great to see all of you! (And AgileDog, too!)

    I must’ve missed the story about Sohos’ mom – wasn’t she going for a visit? Sounds like there was some unexpected excitement…..

  435. fuck, I know the apostrophe rule.

  436. Also, I was drunk.

  437. It was actually a local model who did “plus size” ads for the Sunday supplement.

    Since when do you have a problem with local models? *gets all pouty*

  438. We were Christmas shopping!

  439. Hi Teresa, Dave.

    Dave, seems I go through life learning each lesson just a little too late. Supermodel a case in point. Talking about it another.

  440. ‘Night, all!

  441. Nighty TiFW!

  442. Night, TiFW.

  443. Night, quitter!

  444. Nighty night, and don’t let the bedbugs bite.

    (My Mom used to say that to me.)

    (I did not actually have bedbugs.)

  445. Mom and dad always said that to me when I was a kid.

    I thought bedbugs were fictional until I was like 15.

  446. I know the apostrophe rule.

    There are rules?!?

    That’s it – I’m leaving.

  447. We don’t tell Ember Jr. to not let the bedbugs bite. We’re boring. We stick with “Sweet dreams”.

  448. Lauraw,
    Damn good post at the mothership!
    Thank you!

  449. We stick with “Sweet dreams”.

    Boring. I say “Sleep well and wake up screaming from nightmares.”

  450. Well, “I’ll most likely kill you in the morning,” was going to be our goodnight farewell, but the social workers really got mad about it for some reason.

  451. >> Dave, seems I go through life learning each lesson just a little too late. Supermodel a case in point. Talking about it another.

    Deny everything. Keep your mouth shut.

    Basic rules that have always served me well.

  452. I can’t use yours, Sky, because, well, they’d probably believe me.

  453. If there are bedbugs, they will bite. They don’t care if you ‘let’ them.

  454. “Keep your mouth shut.”

    Learning that one always eludes me. Probably why I have reached the exalted position I have socially and in business.

  455. If there are bedbugs, they will bite. They don’t care if you ‘let’ them.

    Punch those motherfuckin’ bedbugs right in the face, damnit!

  456. And, on that note, I have to go give the little one a bath, put her to bed, and wish her sweet dreams. Laters!

  457. Fuck the bedbugs.

    It’s the pantry moths that require the Dishtowel of Death™.

  458. Night night Sky.

  459. Sarasota has lots and lots of carnies. I even dated a flying Wallenda

  460. NIght, Sky, all.

    “Good Night, sleep tight, and don’t let the beddy-bugs bite.”

    Learned from my dear mama.

  461. Need some zzzz myself. Nite!!

  462. nighty night Dave 🙂

  463. I survived the day.


  464. Then the day fucked up. I’ll speak to it about tomorrow.

  465. *shoots xbrad with a nerf gun and buries him in a shallow nerf grave*

  466. Don’t meake me pee in your kibble.

  467. LAURA!!!

    **clings desperately to Laura’s ankle**

  468. shit

    *detaches nerf ankle*

    *takes aim again*

  469. Laura – Don’t know if you read all of the accolades upthread. Did you?

  470. Seriously, I had a massive headache earlier, complete with seeing stars. Had an awful crick in my neck as well.

    I took a shitpot of ibuprophen, and crawled back in bed for four hours. Then had to help host a dinner with friends of my mother. The friends are nice people. but listening to my 78 year old mother and two folks in their 90s blab about the same shit they blabbed about two weeks ago at dinner grates on my nerves pretty quickly. And they took forever to get the fuck out.

    So, shooting XBrad with a gun? Fine.
    Nerf gun? Not gonna cut it.

  471. Yes, MCPO, thanks to you and everybody. You’re making me question my NE RINO Cabal™ creds, and I have to tell you this is worrisome.

    *sees Xbrad still alive*

    *sighs and loads Nerf warhead on Nerf missile*

    You know what? I’m starting to get the idea that this stuff isn’t meant to really perform very well as weaponry. Kind of hard to believe; this stuff is a hella popular and successful product.

  472. Laura, I’ve been reliably informed the best weapon for killing your run of the mill XBrad is a bottle of bourbon and an 18 year old Asian hooker.

    Better get two of each, just to be sure.

  473. Laura, just saw your post at the mothership. Well said.

  474. 18? Gross.

    *loads Nerf trebuchet with real rocks*

    *foam trebuchet slumps to the ground under weight of rocks*

    This is UNBELIEVABLE bullshit.
    Doesn’t work at all!

    *dials customer service*

  475. I rarely go to Ace’s but I just read your post lauraw. It was quite excellent.

  476. Not sure how many of you watched the debate tonight, but I thought it may have been the worst one yet.

    Romney should drop about another 10 points after his shrill performance tonight. NO WAY could he stand up to a debate with teh one.

  477. And Ann Coulter can go diddle herself.

  478. You’re making me question my NE RINO Cabal™ creds, and I have to tell you this is worrisome.

    Easy enough to fix. Just say something that’s not entirely complimentary about Christine O’Donnell. BAM! You’re back in like Flynn.


  480. On a brighter note, tonight’s Alcatraz was most excellent. That show is gonna do alright.

  481. Watching it now, clint. I missed the first few episodes.

  482. Sean, the first two episodes were last week. According to my daughter, you can find them online. It wouldn’t hurt for you to watch them, because there’s one essential plot/person element you may not pick up on tonight.

  483. Thanks, cb.

  484. I don’t get the personal attacks on Coulter. She just shouldn’t be attacking the voters.

    Does anybody really know dick about this territory we are in right now? There is not a lot of air between Romney and Gingrich. So all we’re left with is ‘electability,’ and that supposedly means the fat old guy with a notoriously abrasive personality can’t win. That may be correct…but on the other hand, SCOAMF. And also, Mitt is despised by a significant chunk of the base. But then again, SCOAMF.

    Who can blame the voters for jumping to the guy who gets their motor running?

  485. Sean:

  486. It’s also on Hulu, b-rad. Is the link you provided faster and/or commercial free?

  487. …aaaaanyway….time to hit the Nerf mattress.

    Which is the only product in the whole line that works the way it’s supposed to.

  488. There’s a wide variety of links for each episode. They’re all commercial free. Some are more reliable than others. I’ve had good success with them though.

    And on that note, good night.

  489. Okay, watched tonight’s episode and the pilot. It’s…okay, so far.

  490. wakey wakey

  491. Good early morning, Peeps.

    heh, I’ll be leaving Las Vegas on Saturday morning — just in time for Ghee to arrive.

    I’m pulling a Mare!!

  492. Every person should have to work a service job at some point in their lives.

    Hear, hear. Such valuable lessons from that.

    OR, work in a restaurant/bar for more than party money. That is pure capitalisim. Lazy shit? Good luck. DOn’t want to take any tables because you don’t feel good? Enjoy that $2.07 you make an hour.


    It’s certainly not a lesson everyone learns, but it is the one GOOD waitstaff learns. Work hard= make money. Don’t work= poverty.

  493. Lippy, you’re pulling out JUST IN TIME.


    that was close.

  494. Fucking Obama is coming to Michigan on Thursday.

    Luckily, it’s to Ann Arbor. Apparently, he’s actually spending the night in my state.

  495. Newt is going to be about 5 mins from my house today. What should I bring for him to sign?

    A) SCOAMF shirt
    B) Juan Williams book, ‘Enough’
    C) The Ace of Spades from a deck of cards
    D) Motorhead album

  496. Car in, I hear the SCOAMF is heading to Vegas, too. Yes indeed, I’m getting out just in time.

    Hey, I don’t want to blow any more money here, just like my dear leader advised.

  497. MJ, the shirt! Or the Ace of Spades.

  498. MJ, people always ask me at the gym what SCOAMF stand for.

    They think I’m joking.

  499. Wake up song du Jour-

  500. I’m going to stop at Walgreens to see if they have oversized playing cards. It’s Florida, almost everything comes in ‘easy to see’ sizes.

  501. Report back, MJ.

    *looking around office/smoking lounge*

    Crap, I have a lot of stuff to pack. What makes it a bit complicated is sorting out what I need for the next possibly 3 months, versus what I can live without for that time.

    Eh, it’ll work out.

  502. Who’s going to watch the Campaign State of the Union speech tonight?

  503. Oops. Cynthia Nixon wandered off the gay plantation.

  504. Watch the State of the Union speech? No way, I can’t stand to watch that evil imbecile.

  505. This is going to be the best summer of recovery ever!

  506. Who’s going to watch the Campaign State of the Union speech tonight?
    Let me clear: no. Make no mistake: not a fucking chance.

  507. I have Obama Derangement Syndrome. It’s true. But if he wins the election I won’t be seeing a shrink and getting a fake mental disease named for me like all those traumatized libfags in 2004.

    I’ll build a rifle nest clocktower in my front yard though. You bet your ass I will. And it will be the tallest one on the block.

  508. *gets on roof and peers through binoculars at neighbors over on Elm St.*

    *sees neighbor on his roof with binoculars, looking at me*

    *pretends to be looking in a slightly different direction*

    Man, hate it when they do that. Those people are creepy.

  509. The p-shop on Gabe’s post is pretty awesome.

  510. Luckily, it’s to Ann Arbor. Apparently, he’s actually spending the night in my state.

    Optics. Ann Arbor is run by socialists but hasn’t gone broke because so much money flows in from elsewhere for the U. He should go to Detroit, it’s a far better example.

    But maybe he’s just joining Sharpton’s protest at Snyder’s house. Because an emergency manager for Detroit is raaaaaaaaaaaaacist.

  511. OH that is good – the P-shop. LOVE it.

    *starts looking up clocktower blueprints

  512. Morning sunshines

  513. I’m sorta surprised this poat is still on top. We’re closing in on 24 hours.

  514. It’s the butt.

  515. It is a nice butt.

  516. What what?

  517. It will be a header pic someday.

  518. I had to reload my jar of coconut oil from the bucket today. I thought of you all and shook my head in disbelief.

    Who the fuck has a 5 gallon bucket of coconut oil? What a weirdo.

  519. Lipstick…YOU CAN’T LEAVE!

    All the plants will die. Think of the ferrets!

    *waves at Tushar*

  520. Dad’s in the hospital again. He was admitted last week (tuesday) with Low BP and they let him go Wednesday – at his INSISTANCE. He should have stayed, but he had this weekend thing he wanted to go to. @@. Came home saturday exhausted, etc. Of course. Actually, if he’d just stayed home he would have been better off – and probably could have avoided this admittance.

    Anyway – he got up to go to dialysis – and I know he isn’t feeling great, so I nabbed him and asked if he wanted me to drive him. No, he’s fine.

    Wll, no, he wasn’t fine.

    Hopefully this time he’ll stay until he’s better.

  521. Who the fuck has a 5 gallon bucket of coconut oil? What a weirdo.

    *awkward silence

  522. I was so bad last night. I didn’t eat all day except for a handful of almonds, then had a nice big salad for dinner. Bedtime came and I was starving, and I scarfed down 4 Eggo blueberry waffles with butter and strawberry syrup.

    It was like an out of body experience. Eggo waffles took over my motor control systems.

    Willpower…how does it work?

  523. Willpower…how does it work?

    was everyone else in the house asleep? Because I find when that is the case – willpower doesn’t exist.

    My husband has been known to get up in the middle of the night for a spoonful of icecream.

  524. I’m not a good willpower person either, Pupster. Blueberry pop tart for me last night. But I slept the wonderful dreams of the sugar fairies.

  525. honestly, though, the best thing is to go TO BED. Before that happens.

  526. Laura made the Morning Jolt. Awesome with awesome sauce.

  527. Woot to Lauraw.

  528. deja vu all over again!

  529. Willpower is for fat people. I only manage to resist by having motivations stronger than my urge to eat junk. I also restrict my access to such things as much as possible. I’ve also made a bit of a show out of not eating the goodies at work, so if anyone catches me, I’d be a total hypocrite. My fear of people laughing at me is stronger than any craving.

  530. Also, sugar before bed will blunt your natural anabolic hormone releases. You’re literally costing yourself muscle every time you have dessert after dinner.

    Work time.


  532. I find that the more rules you break – it just snowballs. If you start having a small bit of ice cream after dinner (even – a skinny cow or something) – suddenly YOU HAVE TO HAVE IT EVERY DAY.

    If I eat something bad early in the day – a cookie, often it just snowballs. The floodgates are opened.

    Whereas – “good” behavior does the same thing. the better I am, the easier it is to be good.

    It’s wierd.

    Or perfectly logical.

  533. I read the best thing to have before going to bed is a bit of protein.


    But I meant a little bit of low-fat turkey or such. Or cheese.

  534. costing yourself muscle


    *wipes tear*

    Good one.

  535. At the Newt thing.

  536. Take pics, MJ!

  537. Cool, MJ. Let us know what you think. Try not to be stupid.

  538. It’s packed. Mostly older folks.

  539. See if you can get him to make this face, MJ.

  540. It’s packed. Mostly older folks.

    Yea, but you live in Florida, right?

    Also – during the day. when MOST people are at work. Except the owwies and, apparently, you?

  541. OMG, Verg Bernero is on the radio again. OYE. that guy never shuts up.

  542. MJ: Did you bring the deck of cards? Make sure it’s the Ace of Spades that he signs!

    *laughs evilly*

  543. I brought a copy of the weekly standard with Romney on the cover. Heh.

  544. This poat is so old it farts dust.

  545. Wow, Ace is really going to shill for Romney(?) all the time now?


  546. new, amazingly informative poat available for your besmirching.

  547. I saw a video with Callista Gingrich on American Exceptionalism. I had never heard her speak before. She has a very nice voice and her demeanor was kind and relaxed. I don’t know how it will play out but she could be a real asset. I think she’s a lot more than the “other woman.”

    I can see now that the old wife was probably a binger and a harpie. Bitter and angry too evidently. Not good for a political life.

  548. mmmm like very one-a deez

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