DaveInPace

I have been asked to speak today about the life, and death, of our dear friend, Dave in Texas. Surely others may have known Dave better, therefore I consider it a great honor to have been asked to briefly reflect on the life of one of the funniest and most intelligent people from Texas that I have ever had the great good fortune to call “Dave.”  (And don’t call me Shirley.)

Dave always lived his life with a passion for wine, women and song. Interestingly, the wine was usually MadDog 20/20 Orange Jubilee, the women were mainly Brazilian lady-boys and the song was a cover of Paul Anka’s “Having My Baby” performed as a duet by Pat Green and his daughter.

I remember the many times Dave and I would ride together in the back of a cab, laughing as he would tell me about his…. oh, wait, we’re here.

When Dave was first born, her parents’ expectations for her future were very high, what with her being the first person in her family born without a vestigial tail. But as Dave began to grow, she did not consider herself blessed by her good fortune, as she so enjoyed watching the rest her family perform around the country as carnival freaks. But Dave did not let her “normal-ness” stop her from achieving her dream of joining her family under the spotlights. As soon as she could walk, Dave set about training her body to the point where she was eventually able to fit numerous flying monkeys inside her rectum, creating an act for which she soon became acclaimed far and wide. In fact, even though Dave eventually moved on from the carnival life, he still enjoyed occasionally performing his unique and disturbing act for his friends and family well into his later years.

At the age of 15, Dave’s request for membership in the Bobby Goldsboro Fan Club was rejected. Dave was heart-broken, but by now, Dave was so used to rejection that she did not allow what was usually considered a tragically devastating moment in a young woman’s life to bring her down. In fact, this latest set-back became a pivotal moment in Dave’s life, one that would change everything for her from that moment forward.

Dave finally decided to fulfill her dream and underwent the gender reassignment surgery that she so desperately desired. Now, most people would have taken the easy path when faced with the difficulties that Dave was facing when she made her fateful decision to become a man. Surely, hair implants and electrolysis are far less radical procedures under which Dave could have addressed her pattern baldness and excessive facial hair. But instead of attempting to hide these flaws, Dave embraced them. And even though he never fully eliminated the many feminine feelings and mannerisms that were as much a part of Dave as those cute little 6th and 7th toes on each of one of his feet, I think it was those little differences that made Dave so endearing to so many of us.

Later in life, Dave was able to ride the wave of incompetence of those around him to a position of prominence in the business world. But it is his insight into the world of sports that most impressed me about him. His uncanny inability to pick a winning team in any sports pool in which he participated, year after futile year, was impressive in the extreme. Yet he continued to try, knowing as well as the rest of us did that he was doomed to abject, albeit hilarious, failure. One can only imagine how successful Dave would have been working in Las Vegas, helping the bookmakers to set the appropriate lines, simply by drawing upon Dave’s amazing ability to consistently fail miserably in his sports analysis.

One of Dave’s greatest loves in his life was his hot tub. Many is the time Dave would share his joy with us as he sat by his hot tub with a drink in one hand and …. ummmm… something else in the other. In fact, Dave was so fond of the time he spend soaking in his hot tub that it almost seemed as though he thought of every body of water as a substitute for his beloved spa. I’m sure that many of us here fondly remember his repeated attempts to replicate those relaxing moments in numerous fountains, puddles, and large bodies of water as he traveled around this great country.

Sadly, as we all now know after learning the specifics of his tragic demise, Dave was more than simply a fan of his hot tub. One would have thought that someone with Dave’s undying thirst for knowledge would have done at least a minimal amount of research into such topics as the average PSI generated by the intake valves of a spa filtration system, as well as the physical limitations of a surgically fabricated penis when subjected to... ummm….. well, there is no reason for us to revisit that ugliness here, is there? I’m sure none of us will soon forget the photograph that was attached to the news report, will we? (Seriously, I thought it was a photograph of an Argentine Lake Duck. ) It is no surprise the family decided on a closed casket. There is simply no possible way that …. thing…. was going to be hidden by nothing more than the green thong that Dave requested he be buried in.

To be quite honest, I was just a bit surprised when I learned of the manner in which Dave lost his life. I really thought he would have been done in by a piece of raw shrimp years earlier.

Well, you can’t say I didn’t try.

In closing, let me just say that I refuse to think of Dave as gone. A personality as large as his can never truly be taken from us. I prefer, instead, to imagine Dave standing knee-deep in Trevi Fountain, responding to anyone who dares to state the obvious,

Io odio questo sogno!

288 Comments

  1. I read it and still don’t believe it.

  2. Very funny stuff.

  3. True. I should be more consider.

    I mean, The of The Children™, amirite?

    Me hate you long time.

  4. The title of this dirge… DaveinPace.

    was that a deliberate typo? Meant to be DaveinPeace or is that just Wiser being Wiser? Epic fail that he is…

  5. In Latin, it’s pace.

  6. Oh great, now we have to learn Latin, too. Is that what the Latin Americans speak?

  7. YOU BASTARDS!!!! YOU KILLED DAVEinOCEAN!!!!

    ____________________________________________

    Seriously. Good Job.

    http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=wqko_GgIeMM

  8. In Latin, it’s pace.

    http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=BNsrK6P9QvI

  9. Bwahahahahaha!!!

    Moses and the Photoshop make it.

  10. Actually it’s pax. Pace means in peace. So the title of this poat translates to DaveInInPeace.

    But it was funny as hell anyway.

  11. I’ll miss Dave. He never made fun of my typos.

  12. PACE = posthumous aquatic chlorinated environment

  13. Hahahaha. Nice work, wiser.

    *begins to worry about who has her* *resists urge to check the draft posts*

  14. *resists urge to check the draft posts*

    See? THIS is why I’m getting up before 5 am tomorrow morning…

  15. No peeking!!

  16. Oh, and since I’ve never used it, how do I insert the “Read More” link?

  17. Put your cursur where you want the break to be, then hit the MORE button on the toolbar.

  18. And just so you don’t get frustrated and want to choke a bitch like I did the first time I tried it, it doesn’t show up in Preview. Only when you publish the poat.

  19. In the words of Bob Dylan, “to live outside the law, you must be honest”. If you are going to be having an alternative society in Zuccotti Park, and other occupied sites, you are going to have to police yourselves, and “poisonous” is a good word for these zombies. And I will wager that many of them are FBI and/or NYPD undercovers… no one else could have that little rhythm. The other drummers are either buffoons, or anti-social types.

    Undercover agents on drums. bwahaha hahahaha

  20. <Actually it’s pax. Pace means in peace. So the title of this poat translates to DaveInInPeace.

    It’s called literary license…

    STFU

  21. HAHAHAHAHA! Excellent post wisercrud

  22. And just so you don’t get frustrated and want to choke a bitch like I did the first time I tried it, it doesn’t show up in Preview. Only when you publish the poat.

    That’s why it didn’t work. Thanks.

  23. DIP works better than DIIP. DaveInPace made me giggle.

  24. DaveInInPeace

    Is that like

    Paris in the
    the spring?

  25. Actually it’s pax. Pace means in peace. So the title of this poat translates to DaveInInPeace.

    This is why Daddy’s Fingers drink and we can’t have nice things.

  26. I think DaveinTardisil would have been better, but that’s just me.

  27. Hah! These eulogies are great. Wiserbud is like a blind squirrel.

  28. Wiserbud is like a blind squirrel.

    Or..

    he’s a genius.

    6 of one, half a dozen of another…

  29. *Struggles not to remind everyone of the collaborative book thread. . .

  30. tl;dr

  31. *Struggles not to remind everyone of the collaborative book thread. . .

    That was also a brilliant idea.

    Let me explain to you the concept of tossing pearls before swine….

  32. tl;dr

    you sunuva…..

  33. >> Oh, and since I’ve never used it, how do I insert the “Read More” link?

    Dear. God.

    We’re gonna need a bigger blog.

  34. Let me explain to you the concept of tossing pearls before swine….

    Posting anything here that is longer than two scrolls on a mouse without including pictures of bewbs.

  35. We’re gonna need a bigger blog.

    No. You won’t.

    Just a box of tissues so you don’t have to ask Tito to get up off his lazy ass and get them for you.

  36. I knew water was going to be involved…..

    Of course, I always assumed that Mrs. DaveinTexas would finally have enough one day, and she would just order a pair of concrete galoshes in Dave’s size.

    And then contact Car in to contract it out to a Detroit union goon –

  37. Just got through talking with DD#3 – she’s packing up and will be coming home next week. She and the young man are making plans to get married when they are financially stable.

    Mr. TiFW said that he is going to appreciate having her around the house to help me out, since I am not able to do as much around here since my diagnosis.

    She’s doing a Leave-of-Absence at the school, so she’ll have up to 2 years to come back without having to reapply.

    I should sleep a lot better tonight…..

  38. I think I might need a real eulogy soon.

    I just maced myself with peppers, onions and garlic in hot oil and choked on Five Alarm Chili flavored peanut dust.

  39. Wiser, let me be the first to ever say this to you: this was a good idea.

  40. Diagnosis, Teresa?

    That does sound like an improvement…

  41. Wiser, let me be the first to ever say this to you: this was a good idea.

    And as much as I grumbled about it, it was appropriate to wait until close to Halloween.

  42. Wiser, let me be the first to ever say this to you: this was a good idea.

    *whew…

    more than anyone else, I am so glad you think so…..

  43. I knew water was going to be involved…..

    how could it not be?

  44. Ghetto bar, jackholes and pretty ladies!

  45. I should sleep a lot better tonight…..

    Wait ’til she tells you the rest of the story, grandma…..

  46. Pour me something cold, Hotspur, please.

  47. I think I might need a real eulogy soon.

    I’ll get right on that…..

    with pleasure…

  48. *pours Roamy a Kendall-Jackson Special Reserve Chardonnay*

  49. Awesome. I’m making French onion soup for dinner, and I wish it would hurry up.

  50. False alarm. I’m still breathing.

    Sorry to disappoint.

  51. Ghetto bar, jackholes and pretty ladies!

    Don’t spend all the points Rocketchick gave you all at once.

    Spread it out over two drinks.

  52. Didja ever have a client that went and did a bunch of transactions, screwing a whole bunch of stuff up, and then bring it to you and say “Fix it?”

  53. I think that cholesterol is one of those dealios where it has to do with your genes.

    Not in my case. My cholesterol used to suck when I ate like the gub’mint told me to eat. Now it’s fantastic because I eat red meat, eggs, and butter and don’t have any candy or seed oils. Michelle’s not qualified to say jack shit about the matter, nor is Dr. Oz.

  54. False alarm. I’m still breathing.

    Sorry to disappoint.

    Not disappointed.

    I figured you’re gonna die in a farming accident, or underneath a sweaty guy named “Claude”.

  55. Elizabeth Warren: “I provided the intellectual foundation for Occupy Wall Street”

    I may donate to Scott Brown’s campaign after all.

  56. Taking nutritional advice from Michelle Obama makes about as much sense as asking AlGore to help you with your science homework

  57. I figured you’re gonna die in a farming accident, or underneath a sweaty guy named “Claude”.

    “or?”

  58. Elizabeth Warren: “I provided the intellectual foundation for Occupy Wall Street”

    Something to truly be proud of.

  59. Wait wait wait, there’s an “intellectual foundation”?

    Isn’t there some old saying about building on sand?

  60. Pace means Picante Sauce in Texas

  61. Isn’t there some old saying about building on sand?

    Won’t you “bitter clingers” ever stop with those fairy tales? Geeeez.

  62. Pace is pretty good picante sauce.

  63. DaveInPicanteSauce?

  64. Headed out to hang with wife’s friends. Pray for me.

  65. Pray for me.

    Are they hot?

    Oh…wait… wrong wife….

  66. Zomg! I lol’d

  67. Widerbabe did you read that my new boss keeps saying: “Solutions”? It is the most overused term out there

  68. Widerbabe did you read that my new boss keeps saying: “Solutions”? It is the most overused term out there

    HAHAHAHAHAAA!!!

    You should tell him that for $50k you will increase is market recognition 10-fold and then add the word Solutions to the name of his company for him.

    Oh….. and “widerbud?”

    thanks, sohot.

    And to think, I used to like you….

  69. Sohos, you just couldn’t do without me, could you?

  70. My Uncle has Solutions in the name of his company. I lol’d. It is headquartered in Huntsville and Roamy may know it. (SEI group inc. solutions)

  71. Sohos, if you had called him widerpud, he would have a totally different reaction.

  72. Lol sorry about that WB! Hotspur no I couldn’t. I realize I caint live without you folks. I missed yall dearly when I was dealing with real world shit

  73. Diagnosis, Teresa?

    I was diagnosed with Myasthenia Gravis last year; I was still in the process of figuring stuff out at the time of the Dallas meet-up (that’s why I left early on Saturday night).

    It’s a neuromuscular disorder that leaves me with no energy whatsoever. It’s generally not fatal, but it is a HUGE nuisance; I don’t have enough energy to do laundry or cook…

  74. I missed yall dearly when I was dealing with real world shit

    The H2: Real-World Shit Antidote Solutions™

  75. >>I don’t have enough energy to do laundry or cook…

    I told my wife I have an undiagnosed medical condition. She says the diagnosis is sheer lazyness. I need to tell her about this Myasthamatic gravity thingy.

  76. Glad you’re back Sohos. It is easier to deal with RL shit with H2. I missed you.

  77. Tifw, I missed the dealo about your daughter ….

  78. Oso, I do know that company. I think they are the ones who built the new office buildings in the 4600 complex.

  79. It is about “green” engineering. Does contract work with NASA. I try to keep my world’s from colliding. He is a total Democrat.

  80. Tifw, I missed the dealo about your daughter

    Here’s the start of it:http://is.gd/8l6pLf

    Then more info trickled in: http://is.gd/helOwc, http://is.gd/dEhedw

    Here’s where we were last night: http://is.gd/ZPDh3E

    And I made sure to thank everyone for all of their kind words: http://is.gd/gy3MVl….

  81. I just realized that I have not seen a nun in years.

    WHERE DID THE NUNS GO?

  82. Thank you Oso. I think you are right Oso. I thought I would be tough and handle it all on my own. Lesson learned. Yall are the best fake friends ever

  83. I saw a nun today in a hospital waiting room. I greeted her by adressing her as ‘ma’am’. Later I thought I should have called her sister… i think.

  84. This is so beautiful I want to make a dress out of it, and wear it to the Secret Policeman’s Other Ball.

    The Hillary link, that was the one that got me. And the fountain pic.

    I love you Wiserbud and I don’t care who knows it.

  85. WHERE DID THE NUNS GO?

    It’s okay to be lesbian now.

  86. We can’t move into one of the buildings because there is no money for moving people. No one on my level is that upset, because it’s all open architecture and cube farms, and we like our old inefficient offices.

  87. Football update is up!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

    mwuh ha ha ha ha

  88. I love you Wiserbud and I don’t care who knows it.

    Then all of those sleepless nights, when I agonized over every single syllable, were worth it.

  89. I’m glad you are back, Sohos.

    http://tinyurl.com/3vou9b3

  90. The nuns are still here. They just don’t wear the penguin suit anymore. Look for the SAS shoes and the mean eyes.

  91. Did anybody give anybody else the cold shoulder today?

  92. It’s okay to be lesbian now

    I was actually wondering about that the other day – I was thinking that monasteries and convents would have been a good way for gay people to live “in peace” back before it was acceptable to be “out”.

    And making them “holy” kept them safe from harm.

    But it was just a theory on my part…..

  93. There is one nun left at Mini-me’s school. She taught the parents of a couple of Mini-me’s classmates. No one messes with her.

  94. Group squishy hug, sohos.

  95. She’s broke, but it’s Oak. . .

    http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=1mBKUOAIaz4

  96. Pup, that gif is gonna give me nightmares…..

  97. I’ve just spend the last 1.5 hours in traffic. Holyshit how to do people do that everyday. I am ready to go on a 57 state killing spree.

  98. We still have a few monasteries and cloisters here in NM. The Catholic schools have very few clergy on staff. Sister Marianella attends the same Mass that I do and her former students still fear her. My nemesis was Sister Christina.

  99. Group squishy hug, sohos.

    Yeah, the guys always get in the inner circle of that.

    I had an interesting conversation with a friend here in HSV and had to explain that squishy hugs were from soft, curvy wimmen like me. Not squishy as in wet sponge. Ew.

  100. Sister Mary Gemma.

    {{shudders}}

  101. Mr. RFH’s nemesis was a nun he nicknamed Sister Sominex.

  102. MCPO, Sister of Mercy who had none?

  103. “Squishy as in wet sponge” {{shudders}}

  104. Sorry TiFW. Is this better?

    http://tinyurl.com/3r4qtrj

  105. HAHAHA! Well done eulogy wiserbuns!! I laughed, I cried, I… never mind the last part.

    Rest In Peas Dave!!

  106. I was thinking that monasteries and convents would have been a good way for gay people to live “in peace” back before it was acceptable to be “out”.

    I’ve seen a few Mexican “art films” about that very subject.

  107. Roamy – Yup. She once picked me up by the collar and tie and rung my bell with the back of her hand to my ear!

  108. Wow, MCPO. I just had to say the rosary while kneeling on rocks a few times. The pops with the ruler were indiscriminate and don’t count.

  109. Crazybear – There is a woman that I went to grade school with who still has shoulder problems from holding bibles in her outstretched hands – it was a common punishment in my school.

  110. Wow. I’ve seen textbooks but not Bibles. Most of the nuns I knew were nice. The few sadistic ones were evil.

  111. I was thinking that monasteries and convents would have been a good way for gay people to live “in peace” back before it was acceptable to be “out”.

    I’d make an acceptable nun I think. At least the whacking people with a ruler part.

  112. At least the whacking people with a ruler part.

    HAHAHAHA! I’ll bet!

  113. I need someone new to pick on. The morons writing stupid American People’s New Economic Charter are just determined to make it too easy.

  114. Who is this woman on Hannity?

    I could be a fan.

  115. Scott – Why are you watching Hannity?

  116. Leeann Tweeden she is on Fox Sports

  117. Tweeden. She’s worth a GIS. I almost used her as a BBF once.

  118. I have no idea MCPO.

    http://www.blackbirdnation.com/images/Hot_Girls/LeeannTweeden2.jpg

  119. I used to love watching Futurama.

  120. eulogizin is hard.

    Presidentin is eazy.

  121. Ahhhhggg Donald Trump’s voice is cutting through my soul

  122. I spent my birthday napping and watching porn. It was almost perfect!

  123. eulogizin is hard.

    Word.

    It was way harder than I thought it would be.

  124. I’ll do mine 3 hours before it’s due. I work better under pressure.

  125. So eulogies are like performance evals?

  126. Jenn – I always took my eval writing seriously.

  127. I’m glad you did I had too many Chiefs who didn’t.

  128. I write my own performance evals.

  129. I’ll do mine 3 hours before it’s due.

    Should be a killer…..

  130. I used my evals as homework for a creative writing class.

  131. Wiser – Don’t pre-judge.

  132. Noo, no the problem is wanting to kill the person then having to write nice nice.

    Is a conundrum.

  133. Noo, no the problem is wanting to kill the person then having to write nice nice.

    Actually, I found that imagining having killed the person helped tremendously with my writing….

  134. hey roamy do you know a company called avocent in huntsville

  135. I was also the guy that had to write award recommendations for the platoon.

    It’s hard to explain why PFC Snuffy deserves an award for doing his job at some very minor training exercise.

  136. You are seriously going to need more than 3 hours Chief. Best to budget 3.6 just in case.

  137. Heh
    It was on the news this morning that they found a 8′ lego man on SKB.

    Oh look Lego Land is now open. Florida’s newest theme park!
    Oopsie it fell off the boat honest!

  138. SKB?

  139. Jenn, yes, they are one of many companies in Research Park.

  140. Siesta Key Beach

  141. Stephen King’s Balls

  142. SKB has been in the top 10 beaches for a decade.

  143. Sleepy koala bear

  144. I am considering shooting them my resume for a hardware QA position but I don’t want to move to Alabama if they are a shitty company.

  145. Sorry TiFW. Is this better?

    *moves Pupster to top of “kill first” list*

    XBrad, did you get the b’day present I “sent” you on the last 2 poats? I think you were at the dentist the 1st time, and you went for a nap when I put it up the 2nd time…..

  146. Simply Keystone Beer?

  147. Steaming Klingon Buffet

  148. Can’t tell you if they are shitty or not. Sorry, Jenn.

  149. Serial Killer Bus?

  150. np

  151. Sweaty Kong Butt?

  152. I saw it, TiFW.

    In fact, I saw it back when H1 was just a little baby blog.

  153. Snuggly Koala Bear?

  154. Sweet Kathy Brown?

  155. Sofa King Blue!

  156. Well, shoot, XBrad – and I thought I was giving you something you didn’t have already…..

    Oh, well – it’s the thought that counts, right? :P

  157. SKB makes quality instrument and musical equipment cases, both my bass amp rigs are in SKB racks, with wheels and hard plastic cases reinforced with steel.

    Perfect to bury wiserbud in, just to pick a random example.

  158. http://www.skbcases.com/

  159. Sonja Kisses Butt

  160. SKB is also the airport code for St. Kitts….

    The perfect place to bury wiserbud in, just to pick a random example.

  161. I’ll ask around and let you know.

  162. Stinky Kandahar Burkas

  163. *writes “St. Kitts” on the side of the case

  164. *writes “St. Kitts” on the side of the case

    ha ha ha.. Dave is teh stoopid. If it’s an SKB case, it already knows where to go…..

  165. I just did that to make you feel better. It’s going in a field in Bossier City

  166. Someone Keeps Buying

  167. I just did that to make you feel better. It’s going in a field in Bossier City

    hell, I’ll be dead. What’ll I care?

  168. Someone Keeps Buying

    We haaaaave a winner….

  169. stinky kahdahar blues sounds like a shitty bob dylan song

  170. Stinky Klam Butts

  171. Sloppy Klingon Bedsheets

  172. Sexy Kinky Bitches

  173. Stupid Kleptomaniac Buffoons

  174. Sexy Kinky Bitches
    Ding Ding Ding!
    We have a winner!

  175. Stupid Kommisar Bitches.

  176. Surreptitious Kinetic Bombing

  177. Sorry Kleptomaniac Boys

  178. Sweet Kitten Babies

    Squeeee!!

  179. Suzy Kisses Boys

  180. Sweet Kippered Snacks

  181. So long
    Kochs going
    Beddy-bye…..

  182. oops
    snacks err…….something

  183. oops
    snacks err…….something

    HAHAHAHAHAHAAAA!!!

    I didn’t even notice that was wrong…..

    damn my tired eyes….

  184. Something’s Kind of Broke!

  185. G’night hostages.

  186. sweetdreams, krazy bear

  187. Some Kinda Beautiful

  188. damn my tired eyes….
    After all you are dead Wiser

  189. Cyn
    Grand Funk + 10,000 points

  190. Nighty night Oso.

    Leave the light on for me as I’m not far behind.

  191. >> hell, I’ll be dead. What’ll I care?

    That’s funny cause I won’t fret either.

    Besides, our deal and all. #DaveWIN

  192. Some Kewl Bewbs.

  193. After all you are dead Wiser

    true. I keep forgetting.

  194. Besides, our deal and all. #DaveWIN

    heh. wiserbride asked me if I said “I win!” in my eulogy….

  195. + 10,000 points

    Woo Hoo! I’m gonna buy something awesome with that!! HAHAHAHA!

  196. Base Playah Dave and Frets Hahaha

    X has a good un

  197. night night Oso.

    I miss NM.

    sometimes.

  198. Sleepy Krazy Bear

  199. Lohan’s Dan spent the day in Jail here and we have a hurricane and a cold front that might make me put up plywood. Or not. Depends on how fast the front moves through.

    Sahara Kind of Bites

  200. Sezchuan Kibbles& Bits.

  201. I’m watching a Terry Jones history program, but I’m not sure if I should be amazed at the advanced technology of ancient Egypt or appalled by how backwards modern Egypt is.

  202. Shuttle Kinetic Berthing

  203. Shuttle Kinetic Berthing

    Anyone wanta bet that this is a real thing?

    damn rocket chicks and their big, beautiful brains…..

  204. Well considering Egypt had airplanes 8,000,000,000 years ago until the Euro-aggressor put them down to stamp out the power of the sun people I think you have to forgive them their backwardness

  205. Squalor Kisses Butt!
    Cat 3 my Ass it is hitting the Florida Straits

    80 years ago today the great tampa hurricane hit errr Tampa

    The Mile wide Manatee River was bone dry, there are pictures of people walking across it to Palmetto. What who wants to go to Palmetto?

    My house was 10 years old and lived to tell about it.

  206. Terry Jones was pretty entertaining in those, except he’s a dick.

  207. Terry Jones was pretty entertaining in those, except he’s a dick.

    well….. yeah……

    Something about making a shit-ton of money being a clown that does that to some people.

    See: John Cleese

  208. Yeah, it’s a fuckin shame really.

    I think I decided, I forget when, was about 2006, not to give a fuck what entertainers I liked thought about life and politics.

    Entertain me bitch. That’s your goddamn job. When I want your opinion about politics I’ll write it on my cock and shove it up your ass.

  209. Sezchuan Kibbles& Bits.

    This makes me think of that old ad, except the dog gets a mouthful of pepper and howls.

  210. 8 Billion Dollars!
    *channels Austin Powers for Jen*

    Oh Dan = Dad.

    My bad

  211. be safe, Vmax and take care of those pups.

  212. Sohos kame back

  213. See: John Cleese

    Robin Williams, too.

    Netflix has a bunch of the BBC programs, and I’m investigating what might be interesting to the kids. Tower of London series was pretty cool.

  214. not to give a fuck what entertainers I liked thought about life and politics.

    I generally assume that most of the entertainers I like are liberals.

    As long as they keep their mouths shut and don’t get pushy about their politics, I don’t care. As soon as they start getting all activist and mouthy, they can fuck off and die for all I care from that point forward.

    It also provides me with a pleasant surprise when it turns out that they lean conservative.

  215. After 2 years and thousands of jobs applied for . 1 job in North freaking Dakota actually emailed me to say they were not hiring.

    Another actually asked me for references!

    Really!

    Minot ND Responded to my cover letter and resume!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!EEEEk 111eleventy!

    I am ALIVE!!!!!!! ALIVE!

  216. Nighty night oso

  217. Sohos kame back

    And there was much rejoicing…..

    http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=lZLP0siJI-8

  218. >> Sohos kame back

    *hugs*

  219. Googles temps in Late October in ND.
    O. My. G*d!

    Really! I have to wear pants and SHIRTS!!!!!

    *turns A/C down to 40*
    Puts on socks.
    eyes long sleeves and long pants suspiciously.

  220. Hey vman send me your resume and let me take a look at it

  221. Sohos, dear thing, did you miss me?

  222. Hey vman send me your resume and let me take a look at it

    you fix resumes??????????

  223. Oh good, Oso left the light on for me.

    *hugs Sohos!!*

    Time to rest my weary head. Sweet Dreams to all.

  224. On the way Sohos!

    Texas is better than North Freaking Dakota!

  225. Yes sweet birthday boy I missed you. I can at least take a look at them and see how they are reading and fix some stuff.

  226. Are you using Yahoo or Gmail Sohos?

  227. Texas is better than North Freaking Dakota!

    I’ve lived in both places. I’d like to be snarky and say that it’s a close call, but I can’t. North Dakota really, really sucks.

  228. Good night Cyn. Luv-luv

  229. ummmm, would ya mind….?

    wiserbride met a woman at … this… group… thingy she would go to weekly (okay, it was weight watchers. shut up.) who said she would punch mine up for me.

    I e-mailed it to her and haven’t heard back in 2 months. She just disappeared. Even stopped going to the meetings.

    bitch better be dead.

  230. I’ve driven through N.D.

    Quickly.

  231. I went to Bismarck, ND once. Vowed to never, ever go back.

    But I’m sure Minot is nice….

    *cough

    Actually, other than the 11 months of winter, it wasn’t that bad.

  232. I have not been in 5 states
    N&S dakota Montana Idaho and Alaska
    Getting a job in ND will wipe out 2 or 4 of the 5

  233. Nice people in North Dakota, though. They have to band together against the elements.

  234. Calling it a night

  235. There used to be a big billboard outside of town that said

    “Why Not Minot!”

  236. Send me yours too wiserbabe. Yall send them to the email at yahoo that has my first/middle name with the number. I’m now working for a full service staffing company. I am on the sales side but can do recruiting as well. Let me take a look (tomorrow at office) and I will send you feedback.

  237. Mr. RFH wanted to see the eulogies and click on the funny links. I missed the Obama symbol over Carin’s nip the first time. Also that her “baton” matches her headband.

  238. Nite Cyn!

    I have not been to ND.

    I have been to Offut AFB, in January. First blizzard I ever saw, and it can be the fucking last one too.

    Also been to Anchorage. Saw some crazy shit called “ice fog”.

    Fuck that too.

  239. Send me yours too wiserbabe.

    cool. I have to do some updating, but I’ll send it to you in a day or two.

    Thanks, sweetie and best of luck with your new job!

  240. >> Obama symbol over Carin’s nip the first time

    shit, I missed this?

    *goes back in time

  241. Where is Offut?

  242. Nebraska

  243. Nebraska

  244. well, I’m outa here, kiddies.

    tomorrow’s another day. can’t wait to see who dies next….

  245. Nebraska Nebraska

  246. Also Nebraska

  247. Offut.

    Been there. Got a fried chicken box lunch for a Navy C-9 flight back to NAS Whidbey.

  248. I think its Nebraska. Good night all

  249. Washington.

    http://offutlakeresort.com/

  250. One of the softball dads is working two weeks out of every month somewhere in Alaska. He said it sucks, but it’s a job, and it pays the bills.

  251. Never been to Offut Lake Resort, but I’ve been to Tenino.

  252. I just dodged a month at Shemya, back in 87.

    In February.

  253. Good night, my friends. Happy birthday, XBrad. And curvy woman squishy hugs!

  254. Night hon.

    Shit, I missed xbrad’s BD. My bad. Many happy returns of the day!

  255. Thanks, Dave.

    //pushes Dave into nearest convenient body of water//

  256. *taps the side of your face until you wince*

    Actually, I noticed that part today, the surgery. You feelin ok?

  257. Sore, but I’ll probably survive.

  258. Good. Take your meds.

    time to crash. nite

  259. Yeah, me too.

    Nytol!

  260. You guys are sleeping through some quality hippie whompin’ going on up in Oakland right now.

  261. It’s surprisingly difficult to find black baby pants.

  262. Latex or leather? I know a guy.

  263. Hahahahahahahahahahaha.

  264. Where are Halloween avatards?

  265. MJ, here you go!

    http://tinyurl.com/3bwrp85

    Oh, wait. You said AVAtards. My bad.

  266. Hahaha, brew fan!

    /cuts self for laughing

  267. Car in, did you know that this is the first time the Packers have started the season 7-0 since 1962! I kid you not.

  268. wakey wakey

    Mr car in says football is getting boring what with them always winning.

    @@@@@@

  269. I’m reading the Iliad now. It’s surprisingly boring given the subject matter and the importance of the work in the annals of Western civilization.

    also, Homer apparently felt the need to explain where every weapon is in relation to someone’s nipples

  270. I’ll do mine 3 hours before it’s due.

    Should be a killer…..

    I did mine hours before it was due, but I had done some prep work. I had also previously started, and not finished other drafts. Pre-writing, they call that in English class.

  271. I have a copy of the Iliad sitting right here that’s supposed to be a wonderful version. it’s by robert fagles.I keep meaning to start it.

  272. Peel, you have a black baby? But both you and Will are white. It has to be a mistake.

    /stupid jerk

  273. Comment by roamingfirehydrant on October 25, 2011 5:27 pm

    PACE = posthumous aquatic chlorinated environment

    HAHAHAHAHA!!!

  274. “It’s surprisingly difficult to find black baby pants.”

    They want you to buy the whole suit.

  275. Mornin’

  276. Comment by sohos on October 25, 2011 7:57 pm

    Lol sorry about that WB! Hotspur no I couldn’t. I realize I caint live without you folks. I missed yall dearly when I was dealing with real world shit

    When I am Exiled to Brazil, I sure miss this place. Teh Hostages is Addicting. There are people here that are Best Friends that would have never considered meeting each other in the Real World…

  277. Comment by Mrs. Peel on October 26, 2011 5:25 am

    It’s surprisingly difficult to find black baby pants.

    Have you tried looking VERY LOW on their buttocks?

  278. DANGIT!!! Huffing Peruvian CatNip, and forgot to Wish “Teh Boss” a HAPPY BIRTHDAY!!!

    ***Should have got a Clue when them three Asian-Looking-Michael-Jackson-Looking-Impersonators showed up wearing Thigh High SnakeSkin Boots, Studded Leather Bustier’s, and some WellWorn HandCuffs***

  279. Black baby pants here. It’s a site for dressing your baby like a goth. But I would TOTALLY be dressing my girl baby in some of those ruffle bloomers.

  280. It is Comforting to know that Ms. Ca r in is still delivering the “Wakey-Wakey”s from the Great Beyond. For her sake, I hope she doesn’t have to teach Long Division over there. She seemed to have the Multiplication Thing down pat on this side though…

    Off to MouseHunt…

  281. Good morning. We haven’t moved the coffee pot to the new houe yet…I need it!

  282. Dang you people get up early.

    It’s still really dark outside.

    Please join me on the new thread as we say goodbye to…

  283. No long division today, Sox. We got a lower interest rate for our mortgage, so I have to go to Detroit to sign some papers.

  284. >> Homer apparently felt the need to explain where every weapon is in relation to someone’s nipples

    D’OH!


Sorry, the comment form is closed at this time.

Comments RSS