Now? Now?

Cyn,

I …ummmm….  I want to….

ummmmmmm…….

I want to sing……  ummmm……

Now?

405 Comments

  1. Now?

  2. HAHAHA! Awww. M’wah!

  3. I did leave you a nice comment on the other poat. ;)

  4. Again? Are you kidding me wiser? Can’t you tell how hard I worked on this poat?!

    HAHAHAHAHA!!!!!

    happy birthday, baby.

  5. I’m laughing my ass off at that kid. I forgot how cute he was! HAHAHA! Smoooooches wiserbuns!

  6. This poat does not have “NOBEL” written all over it. What about my comment that I left at the old poat because I was too slow to figure out this was the new poat?

  7. Thank you Mare; that poat was Nobel worthy. Share some wine with me that Jay gave.

  8. 2 drinks and a webcam.

    Schweet!

  9. Happy Birthday, Cyn!

  10. I have to giggle at all the stupid crazed hits we’re going to get from that post’s title. HAHAHAHAHA! I almost peed laughing when it entered my brain. Hee hee hee.

  11. Thanks Oso!!

  12. “Share some wine with me that Jay gave.”

    Yes, yes I will!

  13. Are we rolling now Andy? I mean, right now??

    *picks apple out of teeth and smudges teeth with back of hand for glistening smile*

  14. You got it Mare!

    *pours glass of wine for Oso too*

  15. Oh, yeah.

    *Sends clip to apple-picking fetish site*

  16. *Thanks for the wine*

  17. Andy… HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA! Crying here! LOL!

  18. *Sends clip to apple-picking fetish site*

    Rule 34 FTW!

  19. *subscribes*

  20. ummm is there any wine left? *waves glass

  21. Hey, hoes!

  22. Back home, Hotspur?

  23. HAPPY BIRTHDAY, CYNABUNS!!!!

  24. >> Rule 34 FTW!

    Heh. I was thinking “Rule 34, bitchez!” when I was typing that.

  25. Thanks Xbrad!!

  26. I got you a cake:

    http://tinyurl.com/3cv3ah3

  27. Rule 34 FTW!

    Rule 34, bitchez!

    My fave: http://is.gd/LBKbNd

  28. Imma Steal that, Cyn…

  29. Awww, fanx Xbrad. The sprinkles are a nice touch!

  30. How many poats are there today?

  31. Have at it, hon.

  32. My kid just told me – and I have to share. They play dodge ball a TON in gym (it’s everyone’s favorite game – of course) and if you hit someone in the face YOU GET A SUCKER . LOL.

    I just think that is so funny.

    I asked if the person who was hit gets one too, and apparently yes.

  33. What if you get hit with a wrench?

  34. I like your kid’s school Carin! They play Dodge-Duck-Dip-Dive and Dodgeball at my boys’ school too but no rewards for face shots. Babies.

  35. Dodge ball and candy at school? Do the nanny staters know this?

  36. Lemme guess, Peej – the coach at your kids’ school is related to a dentist and/or an orthodontist, and he gets a kickback every time a kid needs dental work….. :P

  37. When did Peej show up?

  38. Carin’s story reminded me of a kid story I have to share:

    My 10 y.o. is giving me his spelling words in a sentence in preparation for a test as we’re driving to school this morning. He rattles off a few sentences and then says, with “sweater” as the spelling word, “I wear a sweater when it gets cold.”

    The next word is “sweeter”, so he rattles off in a Swedish accent, “I vear a sweeter ven it gets cold.”

    I’m so glad I was at a stop light for that one!!

  39. Oh, and in regards to Marky Markos’ snarky tweet that Jay linked earlier (https://thehostages.wordpress.com/2011/10/19/lets-do-this-to-rosetta/#comment-618437), I”m PERFECTLY willing to give Obama credit for what happened in Libya.

    More importanly, I’m going to be ESPECIALLY happy to give him credit for what’s ABOUT to happen in Libya – there is a shit sandwich comin’ that’s gonna make Vietnam look like a vacay at Disneyworld…..

    Carry on with the Birthday Celebrations!

  40. It just gives me a smile every time I think about it.

    My boys were pumped when they bought new dodge balls. LOL, it went through the whole school and everyone knew and was waiting for when they could use them.

  41. Cyn, your 10 y.o. is a future hostage. I’m dying.

  42. I’m so glad I was at a stop light for that one!!

    *wishes she hadn’t just taken a drink when she read that*

    Clever boy, Cyn!

  43. ha ha ha …

    clever child there Cyn.

  44. HAHA! I know what you mean, Oso! I was actually slapping my knee with that one. Even the 13 y.o. in the back seat was belly laughing.

  45. Awwwright – I know “Rule 5” from “The Other McCain”.

    What’s “Rule 34”, and where does the reference come from?
    (Yes, I’m behind the times – I’ve been raising kids for the past 25 years…..)

  46. Car in, I used to hate dodge ball. I was in multiple age group co-ed gym and I was little. It was almost as bad as Red Rover for me.

  47. http://tinyurl.com/3ch3r7a

  48. Go to UrbanDictionary when you have those kinds of questions Tif. ;)

  49. Cyn, what a great story. My kids thought that was great.

  50. I kinda liked Dodgeball. It gave me the opportunity to nail those stupid boys with cooties.

  51. Thanks Roamy! Both my boys can be pretty funny at times, but I was just floored that he could be that clever at age 10.

  52. Oso, I’m with you. I was the runt for most of school.

  53. I loved dodgeball!!!

  54. I loved dodgeball!!!

    Sez the guy who’s 6′ 2″!

  55. I was only 6′ in 8th grade!!

  56. Roamy, I had a growth spurt my sophomore year and grew to my present 5’3 and 3/4. I was a Sr. in HS, and football players would set me on top of the lockers and leave me there. The gym teacher would say that the 8th graders were bigger targets. They also threw harder.

  57. Well, he was 5’8″ the first two years…

  58. I was 4′ 4″ going into 8th grade.

  59. “I was 4’4” going into 8th grade” Wow! I could have targeted you at dodge ball. (Except I’m older than you)

  60. “Well, he was 5’8″ the first two years…” Hahaha

  61. Am I younger than you, Oso? I’m 44.

  62. Damn. You’re old!

  63. Roamy, I’m 48. I would have been almost a foot taller than 8th grade you.

  64. Mini-me is 10 and is already nearly 5′. I expect to be the shortest one in the family in the next couple of years.

  65. Oso?

    http://tinyurl.com/6arxma4

  66. Heh:

    http://tinyurl.com/3ky78pf

  67. xbrad, I’m not that bad. My greatest fear is that closet monsters are real. Sheesh.

  68. and clowns.

  69. I hate clowns.

  70. Claustrophobia, acrophobia.

    Worst ever was climbing up the Statue of Liberty July 3rd.

  71. Nothing worse, except mimes.

    Before I die I want to punch a mime just to see what happens.

  72. Illinois Nazis.

  73. Roamy, have you been in the Arch? Scott, have you seen “Shakes the Clown”? I couldn’t watch it. Mimes and clowns. *shudders*

  74. Oso, no, I haven’t been in the Arch. I’ve only been to St. Louis once, and that was for the meatup.

  75. http://wednesdaydadon.ytmnd.com/

  76. The Arch is bad for claustrophobia and acrophobia. After I went up in it with my husband, I appreciated driving by with my dad and having him Clark Griswold it.

  77. I had to google that Oso.

    Written by Bobcat Goldthwait.
    Directed by Bobcat Goldthwait.
    Starring Bobcat Goldthwait.

    Ha ha ha ha. That has Oscars written all over it.

  78. The Arch wasn’t bad, but those are some elevator cars you REALLY don’t want someone farting in.

  79. Good to know, thank you, Oso.

  80. Scott, alcoholic clown that fights with mimes. No way, I was ever going to see it.

  81. Dinner was chicken, broccoli, and rigate pasta tossed with ricotta cheese, garlic, and Better than Bouillon. Scarfed.

  82. Rule 34. No exceptions.

    Also Hartsfield is still a dump and I want to go home.

  83. I’ve seen “Shakes the Clown”. I’ve seen worse movies.

    “Necromantic” comes to mind. Also “Crossroads”.

    Got an offer on the house. 9.9k under our current asking price. 18k less than we started at. But it’s an offer. We’ll see if they can come up a bit.

  84. *head snaps to Romy’s direction*

    What’s Better than Bouillon?

    I love using bouillon. Is it really better?

  85. I’m thinking Starship Troopers III

  86. tt, have you seen “Shakes the Clown”? I couldn’t watch it. Mimes a

    Firstborn was TERRIFIED by clowns.

    Setting: McDonalds
    Time: during some stupid community McDonalds day

    I put my son in the playroom, and go to get the food – right next to it. He’s about three-ish.

    As I’m watching him … I see he’s about to slide down and WHO is at the bottom?

    That’s right. Ronald McFuckingDonald. It was a slow-motion horror show. I couldn’t get in there fast enough.

  87. Leon – Take the offer.

  88. Crossroads?

    The Britney Spears flick or the Ralph Macchio one?

  89. Leon, I’d see if I could ’em to come up 4 or 5 K and then get ’em to sign before the paperwork is dry.

  90. Chief – I’m thinking they may be willing to pay a bit more, they’re just checking for Leon’s bottom.

    SYWM.

  91. DInner was 6 hr Boston Butt (smothered in garlish, fresh rosemary, tarragon, salt pepper, olive oil) mashed potatoes and peas.

    Eat your peas.

  92. garlish – garlic.

  93. OMG, Laura, it’s awesome stuff.

    It’s not good if you’re cooking low- or no-salt, but I use a little of that and some garlic to season green beans or peas.

  94. Obviously, you folks don’t know from the Addams Family!

  95. Who wants to hear my chicken story?

    Well, so what? Here it is anyway:

    It’s cold, rainy, and windy. The chicken coop door kept closing (they were free ranging all day) so they kept hanging out in the garage. Erin goes to put them to be – which usually just involves counting and shutting the door because they’ve put themselves to bed.

    I propped that door four times, but apparently it was closed again. One chicken was in the coop alone, two were hiding in the dog kennel, two were already roosting for the night along the handicap ramp in the garage, and the rest were huddled together next to the coop door.

    It was the most pathetic thing.

    I took Whitey (my avatard bird) and carried her from the garage to the coop, and she was so freaked out I couldn’t get her out of my arms into the coop.

    They were NOT happy.

    Aren’t you I happy I shared this?

  96. Car in, I am so freaking. Your poor firstborn. Who thought clowns were a good idea for fast food? I hate Jack-in-the-boxes too. Stupid clowns that jump at you.

  97. Timing. It’s everything.

  98. The Britney one.

    Yeah, probably looking for a bottom. I did it to our sellers. We’re thinking of conceding all the appliances and coming down 3k or so, hoping to get them up 4 or 5k.

  99. Illinois Nazis.

    Speaking of which, did Monty really try and use Lew Rockwell as an example of not racist this morning?

    He is the idiot who published all the racist and anti-semitic crap in Ron Paul’s newsletters and roots daily for the Confederacy to win and restore slavery to it’s rightful place in America.

  100. I’m glad you got an offer Leon. My company has a project starting in Ann Arbor, I may get up there in the next few months to try your date nut balls.

  101. I love how Trace Adkins nails those high notes.

  102. Never saw the Britney one.

    Honest.

  103. If we can get them up that 4 or 5, I can write a check at closing and not go utterly broke or into more debt to close the deal, which would be nice.

    I blame Obama, and the horses (MAAAAARES!), but mostly Obama.

  104. I’m somewhat claustiphobic. Riding up to the top of the St Louis Arch was one of the most unpleasant things I’ve ever done. The view was terrific – those little cars you rode up and down in, not so much. The museum of the west under the arch is VERY cool.

  105. Cool Pupster – we’ll have to have a gathering in your honor.

  106. You have more fortitude than I if you are reading Monty posts, Jenn.

    Graph yourself: http://pupster.files.wordpress.com/2011/10/hot-crazy-graph.gif

  107. I may have misspelled claustephobic. How the hell do you spell it anywhose?

  108. Car in, I am so freaking. Your poor firstborn.

    He was horrified. It was honestly like one of those slow motion scenes :

    Me: Nooooooooooo

    And trying to distract him – and failing – so he wouldn’t see the clown.

    LOL.

  109. Jenn, he noted that the Lew Rockwell he mentioned was no relation to the Illinois Nazi Lew Rockwell.

  110. I’m only about 25 min from AA, Pup, so we could get dinner with Hotspurt or something if you come out.

    (of the closet)

  111. Hot. Single. Sane. Pick two.

  112. Leon, are they over 90% of the asking price?

  113. I’d like that a lot, CaRiN.

  114. Yes Scott. It’s a fair offer, not a lowball, but lower than I think I can sell without borrowing money or selling plasma.

  115. I’ll take hot and single.

  116. My husband is afraid of birds. His phobia is hilarious. He’ll dress up like a fricken’ clown for Halloween. Not funny!

  117. no, he noted that the Lew Rockwell he mentioned was the economist Lew Rockwell not the nazi glenn rockwell, as in it’s safe to like him he’s not a nazi. He just didn’t mention the racism. :-)

  118. I’m only about 25 min from AA, Pup, so we could get dinner with Hotspurt or something if you come out.

    HRRRRMPPHH!

  119. We’re asking 139900, they are offering 130k, but they want us to pay closing costs and concede some cash at closing, which sounds more like a “let’s see what they say no to” offer.

  120. So, did anyone else get raped at an #OWS protest today?

    Wut?

  121. You could come too, Chief, assuming you’re up to drive out again by then.

  122. You should counter with 145000 and they blow you at closing.

  123. get raped? No…

  124. just me, i was ear raped by their whining on the radio.

  125. Oh, sorry. I guess I misread that, Jenn.

    In my defense, I was only skimming Monty’s post, not reading it.

  126. I’ve noticed that this starbux has a nice traffic in folks at the fitness center next door. That is, lots of womeninyogapants.

    Unfortunately, in the afternoon, it trends far more to annoying hipster douches.

  127. yeah i wasn’t really reading it either just the nazi comment caught my eye as i was scrolling so i went back

  128. i think all starbucks are like that. although i wear sweat pants not yoga pants to mine

  129. They want it Leon.

    A bid within 10% is awesome. Asking you to cover closing costs would lead me to believe that they are stretching their financial limits.

    I could be wrong. It’s poker. If their agent has been around a long time it’s a brilliant move, if he/she is a newbie, they don’t have any more money.

    My 2 cents.

  130. I don’t wear any pants to mine.

  131. Where did Cyn go?

    I never got the chance to wish her a happy birthday.

  132. I’m only about 25 min from AA, Pup, so we could get dinner with Hotspurt or something if you come out.

    See how Leon is?

  133. The dog probably needed a bath.

  134. How am I? What am I missing?

  135. Car in, you’re way out in Bumbfarg, you wouldn’t want to drive down for Pupster.

  136. Anyhoo,

    Happy Birthday Cyn…………http://i.imgur.com/yeTOF.jpg

  137. What am I missing?

    Do you really want a full inventory or was that rhetorical in nature?

  138. I’d take it, Leon, but that’s me. My dad has had his house on the market for 2 years now with only one offer, and that was laughable.

  139. Cops found Booth laying face up on a blanket “with his entire genitals showing.” Nearby, officers found the book “Gay Power,” a “Kroger bottle of extra virgin olive oil,” two cans of Miller beer, and Marlboro cigarettes

    Also known as “Tuesday”

    http://tinyurl.com/6gcb67l

  140. Car in, you’re way out in Bumbfarg, you wouldn’t want to drive down for Pupster.

    I am not in bumbfarg. I would drive to see Pupster. You’re thinking of Mare. I wouldn’t drive to meet Mare.

  141. Roamy, I don’t know that I financially can take it.

  142. I would have driven to meet chief, but he was only available for lunch, and i was doing the homeschooling dealo/driving chillens around.

  143. Okay, Pupster you can have dinner with Car in, too.

    But you can’t look at her hiney.

  144. Figure in taxes (on a house you don’t occupy) heat for winter to prevent the pipes from freezing, sleepless nights, worry, maitenance …

    I would take it. In a heartbeat.

  145. What Carin said, and the gas, wear and tear on the car and you, driving back and forth, trying to maintain two houses.

  146. If I have enough cash to cover it, I’ll take it. That’s the rub, I can afford to carry it, but might not be able to afford to sell it.

  147. You want to know what’s cute? THIS, GAWDAMNIT!

    http://wednesdaydadon.ytmnd.com/

  148. em><But you can’t look at her hiney.

    NO DEAL!

  149. Also known as “Tuesday”

    I though you were going to say “lunch break”

  150. Pupster, how many gifs do you have? Round to the nearest 1,000.

  151. I never drink beer on my lunch break.

    //opens bottle of bourbon//

  152. OK, cool kids, I’mma go home and giggle like a schoolgirl at the news of Qaddafi remaining in stable condition.

  153. “Oh, for goodness sakes!”

    That’s what Carin said when Wiserbud and I lagged behind her out of a grocery store in Missouri to look at her butt.

    Then she turned around and just kept walkin’.

    http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=RyAR3JBsz_g

  154. Brad gets a lunch break?

  155. Laura, great song. I was flipping my hair and chair dancing to it.

    Don’t tell anyone.

  156. What’s he taking a break from?

  157. Happy birthday, Cyn :-)

    leon, we’re in the same sitch with Will’s house.

    When am I supposed to post my eulogy again?

  158. MCPO, I did go see your Wednesday video. Did you know Uncle Fester was a glider pilot in WW2?

  159. Xbrad is taking a break? He must have had to drive to the mailbox.

  160. Did anybody damn anybody else with faint praise today?

  161. I barely notice your bald spot, Sean.

  162. I misspoke and accidentally implied that a coworker wasn’t a woman.

    She is. Oh dear God she is. Like, I am afraid to be around her because I might accidentally flirt with her. At least she wasn’t present.

  163. Finally caught up on H2. Looked up who Shay Laren is. Shouldn’t have done that with the kids in the room. Or Mr. RFH, for that matter.

  164. Roamy – I did know that at one time, but had forgotten it.

  165. Shay, like Cyn, deserves a spanking today.

  166. Jewstin, if you travel back in time your comment exists.

    It wasn’t me.

  167. Shay, like Cyn, deserves a spanking today.

    This is where we need Pupster’s gif with the #1 sticker getting slapped on a hiney.

  168. I know it’s late. . .

    http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=4_NK7mI8xec

  169. Question for y’all. What do you tip the waitress at a buffet restaurant? Full 15% even though she brought only water and the tab? 10%?

  170. No worries, Scott. I think somebody was pranking or WordPress fucked something up.

  171. Roamy, if I go there a lot and I never have to ask for water, I go 15%, but I go to inexpensive buffets.

  172. 10% at a buffet. Unless someone got sick. Then 50%.

  173. Oh come on, it wasn’t that bad!

  174. 10% is good.

    Hiney.

  175. Hiney is my Car in’s underpants.

  176. Here’s an excerpt from an e-mail conversation I’m having:

    Him: what do you think the government should do?

    Me: Maintain a kick ass standing military. Maintain diplomatic relations via the State Dept. Maintain a system of disinterest 3rd party jurisprudence over legal disputes. Maintain the Interstate Highway System. That’s it.

    Him: and commercial activities?

    Me: No.

    Him: no regulation over commercial activities?

    Me: That’s why we have trial by jury.

    Him: but fraud, false advertisement, strong arm tactics that don’t quite reach to using thugs to trash the competition?

    Me: Fraud is illegal by definition. False advertisement doesn’t work very well because people stop buying the product. Juries decide whether strong arm tactics violate personal or property rights.

    Him: we’d totally disagree on politics

    Me: That happens to me a lot.

  177. Hiney

  178. Unless someone got sick.

    Told ya to look out for the crab rangoon.

  179. Jewstin – That guy is a hiney!

  180. Jewstin, was this a guy to maybe date, because that sucks… er…. blows… it’s bad.

  181. He’s not a date guy. Just an internet pen pal.

  182. Let me tell you something, friends – you haven’t lived until you’ve cleaned pink Junior-Tylenol-infused puke off of your sofa at 9:00 at night….

    Good times. Good.Times.

  183. Heh. Another excerpt:

    Him: and remember this quote: “Nothing lasts forever, nothing ever stays the same; even the longest, the most glittering reign must come to an end some day.” and that’s regardless of how big your stick is or how much you try to make sure it’s always bigger than someone elses.

    Me: I prefer Patton: “We’re going to use their guts to grease the treads of our tanks.”

  184. I’m highly insulted that that fat girl is supposed to be wiserbud. Rosetta posted that as ME oh so many years ago.

    *sigh

    Good thing it’s still cyn’s birthday or I’d have to take wiserbud out to the woodshed

  185. I’m pretty sure Patton ate the guy that said that other quote, shat him out, dried the turd, and used it to hold the ember in his campfire.

  186. PJM – The last time you two were out there, Glaravin was the result!

  187. Yannow MCPO, wiserbud is as bad as you are about paying child support.

  188. Hey, I gave you the name and model of the best bread maker out there!

  189. My scream of frustration this morning.

    I offered $19,000 for a 2006 Land Rover Range Rover HSE Supercharged.
    It had 160k miles on it. 2006 (MSRP $90k) 100k miles were selling for $25++
    Land Rover Sport (MSRP $65k) with 160k miles sold for $25k

    Boss says NO!
    I can only pay $15k for it.

    Rat Bastard!

    $10,000 for 60k miles?
    Bastage I say Rotten rat bastage!

  190. Evenin’, peoples.

    *Scrolls upwards to see what stupidity I missed*

  191. Good pitcher’s battle in the WS.

  192. Hi Andy!
    Are you hiring?

    I am looking.

    However I did not turn my AC today. It was wonderful!

  193. At this point, we don’t know if it’s ‘cuz Rebecca accidentally got hold of some gluten at school (yes, it is THAT bad when it happens), or if a stomach virus is going around.

    This afternoon, when it was just her tummy hurting and really bad diarrhea, I was sure it was “Gluten”.

    When Mr. TiFW came home early because he wasn’t feeling good and his stomach was hurting, I started thinking, “Damn, I REALLY don’t want to catch this…..”

  194. Sleep time, I hope.

  195. *Scrolls upwards to see what stupidity I missed*

    Hiney

  196. Good thing MCPO’s not a limey: http://pajamasmedia.com/richardfernandez/2011/10/19/meet-the-enemy-grandma/

  197. Another excerpt:

    Him: so, because greece’s economy is completely screwed up you’re going to use that as an argument for dismantling similar institutions all over europe?

    Me: No, I’m going to include Spain, Ireland, Portugal, and Italy as evidence that their models aren’t working.

  198. Not hiring. I’m just happy to not be firing. Yet.

  199. A message from the producers of Star Trek:

  200. So, does anyone remember when I’m supposed to post my eulogy?

  201. Full as a tick on a feast from Sonic and birthday cupcakes! Devils Food Fudge Cake with Orange Flavored Icing.

    Bitchez!!

  202. Hey, I gave you the name and model of the best bread maker out there!

    Ok, you get a pass…….this time.

    TiFW, don’t know about where you’re at, but the stomach bug was moving fierce round these parts

  203. Hi Peelio: your eulogy will be the third of the day on 10/26/11 after BiW and Laura. And thank you for the birthday wishes!!

  204. Scott–thank you!! Cuddly sweet! M’wah!!

  205. Yes, Leon; I probably do deserve a spanking. Rawr.

  206. Thanks, Cyn! Hope you had a great day!

    Ummm…third…does that mean, like, 4 P.M.? Eh, I’ll just cheat off lauraw schedule my draft post according to the others.

    And now, to actually write said eulogy!

  207. Maybe the TiF family ate at your cafeteria Peej.

  208. Linky to the last eulogy poat Peelie: http://wp.me/pb9T5-6hU

  209. I was just looking at the times suggestion in the poat, Peel. Wiser had proposed 8am, 1pm and 5 pm.

  210. I think I have to drop out of that conversation. I’m starting to get insane.

  211. Maybe the TiF family ate at your cafeteria Peej.

    It’s high gluten. I think they’d do just fine.

  212. Final excerpt:

    Him: so many new england, the entire west coast, the chicago area, and hawaii should really just go ahead and join the United States of Canada
    and we’ll have our northern european style social safety net and gay marriage and limited military
    and the rest of the country can hate queers as much as they want, can let businesses rape people as much as they can, and can feel really good about it at all the military parades they’ll hold all year long to make everyone forget about everything else

    Me: I’ve lived in flyover country most of my life. Nobody hates queers, business loves to make customers happy, and our military stick will be bigger than yours.

  213. “Mom, do hobos make gravy out of their poop? Madeleine said they do.”

  214. Send him a final email Jew and tell him that maybe his emails are not coming over the interwebs correctly because what you’re reading makes him sound like a fucking idiot and surely that’s not the case.

  215. Jewstin, are these excerpts from a date you went on, or are you writing a book?

  216. his emails are not coming over the interwebs correctly because what you’re reading makes him sound like a fucking idiot and surely that’s not the case.

    HAHAHA! And don’t call him Shirley

  217. So how exactly did you answer Graham when he asked you that?

  218. naturally I told Garren that Madeleine was retarded

  219. HAHA! Poor Glarrevin is gonna need therapy by the time he’s 12. And from one mom to another, please stop taking Maddy to different doctors to get her garacil shots.

  220. I decided to cap off my birthday with a blueberry flavored cigarello this evening.

    The only thing missing was a glass of Disaronno.

  221. No, PJ. It’s just an internet guy I’m talking too. He lives in Virginia.

  222. You guys are worried about fake eulogies? I came close to a real one. Found a lump on one of the ‘boys’.
    I thought the outcome would be:
    L to R: Cancer, Tushar.

    Fortunately, the tests came out negative, and the final result was:
    L to R: Tushar, Cancer.

  223. Cyn, it was your birthday? Belated wishes!

  224. Yikes Tushar! Scary shit. Glad it was nothing!

    Thanks for the wishes–your timing is actually almost exactly perfect: 11:40 pm. Smooooches!!

  225. Time!

  226. Happy birthday!

  227. home, in time to hear the Rangers kick some Cardinal ass.

  228. And with that, I think I’m going to call it an early evening to see about catching a few extra zzzzzz’s.

    Sweet Dreams All and Thank You for making today wonderful and hilarious and one of the most memorable and bestest birthdays evah!

  229. No, PJ. It’s just an internet guy I’m talking too. He lives in Virginia

    Well, you should probably write a book. I’d enjoy reading about a right leaning gay guy trying to go on dates in a predominantly left leaning gay world.

  230. Well look what the cat dragged in! Howdy Tushar!

  231. How are uou, PJ!

  232. Damn keyboard

  233. Tushar, glad you got good news. Cancer sucks.

  234. what? what cancer thing?

  235. Yeah, what cancer thing? Is this about that mole that covers have your face, tushy?

  236. Lump in one of the ‘boys’ upthread.

  237. Lump in one of the ‘boys’ upthread.

    Well, he does have twin boys.

    wait……wha?

  238. whoa. Ball cancer sucks.

    Glad you’re ok, scary brown person.

  239. Nothing much. Cancer was trying to pull a dog move on me
    http://animalsbeingdicks.com/post/11690108945/schadenfreude-thursdays-pt7

  240. The doc, instead of leaving a voice message saying I am fine, asked me to come see him. On my way, I had the plan almost ready for how the wife and kids were going to live afterwards. Scary stuff. Kids had no idea why I was holding the so close later.

  241. Holding them..

  242. holding your nuts?

    perfectly understandable

  243. Good for you Tushar. Have you taught the little ones to fetch you a beer from the fridge yet?

  244. No, but I taught them how to collect trash from around dad’s chair and throw it in the garbage can.

  245. Ok, enough about your nuts. What about the mole covering half your face?

  246. That means “he’s married”

  247. No, but I taught them how to collect trash from around dad’s chair and throw it in the garbage can.

    That right there is a good dad.

  248. That means “he’s married”

    That’s why I love dave, he’s wise.

  249. Tushar, I’m so glad your nuts are alright and your kids will have their dad with them.

  250. It’s some kinda Punjab thing or somethin, I read it somewheres

  251. It’s some kinda Punjab thing or somethin, I read it somewheres

    You probably saw it in the 1980 movie, “Annie”

  252. THE NUTS’LL COME OUT, TOMORROW, BETCHA BOTTOM DOLLAR THAT THEY WILL

  253. Love, love, love this comment that was left in the Hill hit piece about Perry using an airplane that had once smuggled cocaine.

    “This article was written by DANIEL STRAUSS using the same internet that has been used to distribute CHILD PORNOGRAPHY.

    Can someone please see what role DANIEL STRAUSS played in the CHILD PORNOGRAPHY? Clearly he is unfit for employment because of this CHILD PORNOGRAPHY” scandal.BY Bob on 10/20/2011 at 17:30

  254. He’s using Texas One to distribute Tardasil now.

    Let freedom ring.

  255. You complete me.

  256. it’s still Cyn’s Happy Birthday here!

  257. WE ARE THE WOOOOOOORLD

  258. we are Cyn’s children

  259. need. sleeps.

    much love. much love.

    *faceplant into pillow

  260. Oh holy hell dave, that’s not the next line in the song.

    FAIL!!!!!!!!

  261. THERE’S A GOAT’S HEAD BAKIN, IT’S DRIPPIN FROM THE NOSE

  262. some context

    http://tinyurl.com/3ra4jgw

  263. Joe Bob Briggs? Now that was a blast from the past. Damn, I’m old.

  264. hahahahahahaha…

    John Bloom. Formerly with the now defunct Dallas TImes Herald.

    ok, really crashin now

  265. Good night.

  266. Hello? Is there anybody in there? Just nod if you can hear me…

  267. nods

  268. Nodding, but it is more like the head nodding before falling asleep.

    Sorry, but I’m all out for tonight, unless there is a late night pain wake up.

    Nighty night.

  269. I hear me.

  270. Well, I’m glad to see that not everyone else crashed yet. It seems kinda weird that I’m going to bed at a relatively decent hour these days but I’m still usually the last one here.

  271. I’d be crashed by now but I’m off tomorrow.

  272. Doing anything innaresting on your day off, or are you just lounging?

  273. Rosary for my Aunt. Cancer finally got her. Her husband is bringing her home.

  274. Sorry to hear it — God Bless.

  275. Condolences to you and your family, OL.

  276. Dammit — I came here to say that since I don’t come here so much I decided to create a TOTAL focus blog that will be fun through the elections — too much material.

    And, surprised that no one else seems to be doing it.

    Gonna be all Joe, all the time — http://plugsbiden.wordpress.com/

    It’s gonna take me months just to catch up.

  277. Send him a final email Jew and tell him that maybe his emails are not coming over the interwebs correctly because what you’re reading makes him sound like a fucking idiot and surely that’s not the case.

    Ha ha ha … someone wake up cyn and tell her I thought she made a good funnah

  278. wakey wakey

  279. Good morning. I think I have the full blown AIDS. Back to the dr. today.

  280. Laura, great song. I was flipping my hair and chair dancing to it.

    Don’t tell anyone.

    Won’t tell a soul…

    ***Goes back to selling the video of Ms. Lipstick on the internet***

  281. Good morning. I think I have the full blown AIDS. Back to the dr. today.

    *wipes down keyboard and computer screen, dons hazmat suit

    Ok, now I’m ready.

    Hope you feel better soon MJ.

  282. Sorry, Ms. TigerCyn!! Belated HAPPY BIRTHDAY, DARLIN’!!!

    ***Hands Ms. TigerCyn a Bouquet of Red Roses, looks at her Avatar***

    Rut-Roh…OOOPPPSSS!!!

    ***Full of ShameFaced Embarrassment, Pulls Curtain on Blog to keep Perverted Lurkers from getting their Jollies at the expense of the StupidCat***

    I’m tellin’ ya, iffin’ She don’t change her Avatar, I’m gonna have to start wearing Underpants around here…

  283. Hey, MJ, would ya mind giving DinT a Big Wet Sloppy Kiss for me?

  284. What the Heck am I thinking??? Ms. TigerCyn, don’t change a thing!!!

    *** Notes her Bra is run up on the “Hostage FlagPole”***

    Yep, must have been a Great BirthDay Party. Last year, Ms. Sohos did the same thing. BIW said we should Fear a Class Action Lawsuit, so I called the Federal Aviation Administration so they could divert Airline Traffic, lest a Mighty Gust of Wind whip that Bra around and knock one of them JumboJets outta the sky…

  285. ***Notes Ms. Ca r in looks Really Cute in a Haz-Mat Suit***

  286. Oh, and would somebody mind telling BrewFan I didn’t Drown at the “SafeGulf” class? I just LOVE disappointing him…

    Off to MouseHunt…

  287. I’ve screwed up my meal timing, I woke up starving again.

    Then I learned my fridge had bacon.

  288. Hey, MJ, would ya mind giving DinT a Big Wet Sloppy Kiss for me?
    ——————–
    Ok, but my standard homo-conversion bill is about $2B.

  289. Time for work.

  290. Standard?

  291. Standard, M-F, 8-5.

  292. I don’t know what you guys are talking about.

    *occupies Lapeer

  293. There’s a free Coldplay song on itunes today.

    They’re gonna have to pay me, though, if they want me to download it.

  294. Time to kick some ass.

    There is a railroad desk and a 1920’s time clock with my name on it.

  295. 1920’s timeclock? If its made by Simplex, let me know.

  296. The word ‘occupy’ always makes me think of airplane bathrooms.

  297. Occupy the underpants.

  298. I am not currently occupying underpants.

    tmi?

  299. I am not currently occupying underpants.

    Go on.

  300. Tmi time, huh…?

    Picking the right time to show up again.

    Morning y’all.

  301. What’s that cat yowling at now. Oh crap!

    http://www.thedenverchannel.com/slideshow/news/29524843/detail.html

  302. Morning Cathy!!!!

  303. Hey Cathy!

  304. I am not currently occupying underpants.

    Go on.

    I’ll wait until Andy gets the webcam set up. I don’t want to have to repeat myself.

  305. Nope, International Time Recording Inc

  306. How’s Cathy doing? Good to see ya!

  307. Good Morning Cool Kids

  308. GoodMorning, Cyn. Howz the Birthday Lady doing?

  309. How’s Cathy doing? Good to see ya!

    *peers out mini blinds*

    *hurries to put on pants*

  310. Cool, no one is wearing pants today.

    Cyn? Haven’t heard about your wardrobe yet.

  311. http://duetime.wordpress.com/category/time-recorders-punch-clocks/

    Old International, Simplex, and Regulator.

  312. From Andy’s Headline at Ace’s:

    Bipartisan Senate Refuses To Move President’s Jobs Bill
    Rape Crisis Centers On High Alert

    HAHAHAHAHA

  313. Cathy’s bug went from black to white!

  314. Bipartisan Senate Refuses To Move President’s Jobs Bill
    Rape Crisis Centers On High Alert

    ha ha ha …

    I see he must use up all his funnah over at ace’s.

  315. Mare you weren’t around last night, so you missed me insulting you.

    that makes me sad.

  316. Hey Cath! I’m great! Thank you for the birthday wishes!!!!!

  317. “I see he must use up all his funnah over at ace’s.”

    HA! I see that you don’t!

    I’m checking up thread to see how you trashed talked me. You better start running.

  318. Thank you to Sox too!!

  319. Cathy’s bug went from black to white!

    Mare, I decided to just come out and say I’m white and own it.

    Does that make me a racist?

  320. My wardrobe today? Hmmm… pantsless Friday… I like it!!

    But, um, I’m really gonna need my bra down from that flag pole.

  321. Not so bad, however, I did read Jewstin’s comments and he really did a great job of articulating his positions to that liberal douche.

    Jewstin for Governor!

  322. “Does that make me a racist?”
    HA! Sweet Cathy, everything we say and do makes us racist!

  323. Thought about you all day, Cyn. Did you enjoy my singing?

    I love you, Lady!

  324. Not so bad, however, I did read Jewstin’s comments and he really did a great job of articulating his positions to that liberal douche.

    I thought Cyn had a good one for Jew’s penpal too.

  325. My wardrobe today? Hmmm… pantsless Friday… I like it!!
    But, um, I’m really gonna need my bra down from that flag pole.

    Cyn, does that mean you are gonna climb the flagpole sans bra?

    You are gone draw a crowd honey…

  326. Love you too Cath!! Your crooning was teh awesome! Imma going to get you a recording contract and we’ll both be rich :D!!

  327. Heh, thanks Carin. Jew’s penpal has been shooting bit too much tardisil.

  328. You are gone draw a crowd honey…

    Heh, you’re probably right, but I’m not sure it will be for the right reasons!

  329. Boys-School-Morning-Rush Time. BBL.

  330. Oh… hurry up and get well MJ, but remember: http://youtu.be/6szE_qmzavQ

  331. Hahahahaha. I linked TAWP in BBF.

  332. You are gone draw a crowd honey…

    Heh, you’re probably right, but I’m not sure it will be for the right reasons!

    Now you’re never gonna get xbrad outta the bunk!

  333. Shameless blogwhoring: Occupy Wall Street – When the 99% Become the 1%:

  334. TiFW, don’t know about where you’re at, but the stomach bug was moving fierce round these parts

    Teresa in Fort Worth,TX

    *checks Peej for blonde hairs* :P

    Both Rebecca and Mr. TiFW seem OK this morning, thank goodness – kept Becca home from school, though, just in case.

  335. *waves furiously*
    Hi, Cathy!!!!!
    Been missing you – ♥

  336. I really enjoyed Jewstin posting that exchange last night. I haven’t argued with a clueless lefty in ages and that reminded me why.
    This part:
    Him: so many new england, the entire west coast, the chicago area, and hawaii should really just go ahead and join the United States of Canada
    and we’ll have our northern european style social safety net and gay marriage and limited military
    and the rest of the country can hate queers as much as they want, can let businesses rape people as much as they can, and can feel really good about it at all the military parades they’ll hold all year long to make everyone forget about everything else

    Me: I’ve lived in flyover country most of my life. Nobody hates queers, business loves to make customers happy, and our military stick will be bigger than yours.

    Actually, this ‘split the country’ idea, if it weren’t already doomed in the conceptual stage, would immediately create a militaristic police state in the Liberal Zone. Immediately, like in the first few months.

    A socialist country cannot survive long cheek-by-jowl with a capitalistic one, without becoming a prison.

    Think East Germany.

  337. A socialist country cannot survive long cheek-by-jowl with a capitalistic one, without becoming a prison.

    Think East Germany.

    We have to build a wall with Canada too? That’s only 3987 miles. Oh, and tack on another 1538 miles for the border with Alaska. We probably don’t need a wall there, though. No one wants to go to Alaska.

    The US-Mexico border is only 1933 miles. We’re gonna need more 1% type people.

    Wait, it isn’t us building the wall to keep the Canadians out, it’s them building the wall to keep the Canadians IN! Winning!

  338. Ontario prolly wouldn’t want to wall itself from the states. FOlks in windsor LOVE the states. I’ve heard it is similar throughout Ontario (perhaps excluding Toronto).

  339. Oh, got that from here. Pretty interesting information:

    http://www.fas.org/sgp/crs/misc/RS21729.pdf

  340. n the United States of Canada

    Rather imperialist of him, don’t you think? Canada doesn’t have states. That would be the United Provinces of Canada.

  341. *waves at Laura*

    So many lefties seem myopic to their own ‘herd mentality’ and employ it to foster socialism while projecting all kinds of hatred in others…that bout wraps it up. It tires me to even argue with these folks anymore.

  342. *tears of laughter running down face*

    Seriously. This is why well-intentioned communes always die out in a flash, this is why pure socialism falls apart when exposed to the air and light of reality: http://nymag.com/daily/intel/2011/10/occupy_animal_farm_the_organiz.html

    The drummers claim that the finance working group even levied a percussion tax of sorts, taking up to half of the $150-300 a day that the drum circle was receiving in tips. “Now they have over $500,000 from all sorts of places,” said Engelerdt. “We’re like, what’s going on here? They’re like the banks we’re protesting.”

    All belongings and money in the park are supposed to be held in common, but property rights reared their capitalistic head when facilitators went to clean up the park, which was looking more like a shantytown than usual after several days of wind and rain.

  343. HAAA HA HA HAAAAA

    “This is its own city. Within every city there are people who freeload, who make people’s lives miserable. We just deal with it. We can’t kick them out.”

    *long sucking breath of air*

    HAAAA HA HA HA HA HAAAAA!!!!

  344. Cyn’s boys?

    http://tinyurl.com/3dacvmk

  345. I think this is clever:

    http://tinyurl.com/3epmqwl

  346. This is the line that made me laugh:

    “Someone has to be told what to do,” she said. “Someone needs to give orders. There’s no sense of order in this fucking place.”

  347. Sox, you minx!

    It seems kinda weird that I’m going to bed at a relatively decent hour these days but I’m still usually the last one here.

    Sean, you and I are usually the west coast time zone late nighters.

  348. We should put a giant plastic dome over Occupy-what the fuck-ever and study them.

    When one says something like, “It’s almost as if life isn’t fair, and that I need to take care of myself,” we’ll let ’em out.

  349. We should put a giant plastic dome over Occupy-what the fuck-ever

    Excellent idea!

    and study them.

    OH. I thought we were going to suffocate them.
    But your idea is okay too.

  350. OWS should look like this in about 3 weeks.

    http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=3hQC3nkftrk

  351. *imagines lauraw with a huge magnifying glass, poised over OccupyHartford, waiting for the sun to come out.

  352. What would William Golding make of #OWS?

  353. The people that live in downtown Tampa are really pissed at the occupiers. Apparently they make noise all night.

    I would be throwing water on them.

  354. It’s interesting how desperately the MSM is trying to make the “occupiers” legitimate. They simply aren’t.

  355. We should put a giant plastic dome over Occupy-what the fuck-ever and study them.

    MJ for President. I can’t be the first person to have thought of this.

  356. Comparing them to the Tea Party is hilarious.

    Not in the same universe. Literally.

  357. Bring on the snow. The real revolutionaries will stay in -50 degrees.”

    Ok, now that is flat out funny.

  358. My local talk show host, who I agree with, wants to know why Cain is the only candidate really denouncing them. What has Romney and Perry said about them?

    They are communists and need to be denounced for it. What are politicians afraid of? Ripping on communism/marxism/socialism? Cowards.

    These people are scum.

  359. Romney can kiss my ass:

    http://tinyurl.com/6ff3zrr

  360. Bipartisan Senate Refuses To Move President’s Jobs Bill
    Rape Crisis Centers On High Alert

    bwahaha hahaha good one, Andy.

  361. OH. I thought we were going to suffocate them.
    But your idea is okay too.

    hahahaha oh man, I can tell this is going to be a good day.

  362. *tears of laughter running down face*

    They’re like little kids trying to play house, or grown up.

  363. What have you people done to support my Social Security checks today?

  364. What have you people done to support my Social Security checks today?

    Well, I haven’t gone to work yet, but I’m not sure I even pay taxes and then the union I was forced to join for being a snack bar lady takes money from me…..so, I’m gonna have to say…..NOTHING!

    I am SO glad the union is around to protect us who only work 2 hours a day. Can you imagine what might have happened w/out them?

  365. I hope you’re at least getting your Union-mandated breaks every hour PJM.

  366. What have you people done to support my Social Security checks today?

    I made a short film that’s going to sell like hotcakes.
    http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=tiP2qkcDu8s

  367. HA! You may need to offer free maple syrup with that Laura.

  368. I hope you’re at least getting your Union-mandated breaks every hour PJM.

    I don’t know why I’m not fired yet. I’m freaking short money every week. I had a student come to me the other day and tell me I gave them $10 too much change. WTF?!?!?! Glad she was honest.

    and then a girl came back and told me I gave her a dollar too much. and then there’s two boys that I caught as they were walking away that I gave both a quarter too much.

    How many more people did I give too much money to that I don’t even know about.

    I’m too dingy. I should NOT be in charge of money.

    but at least I’m not stealing………….right?

  369. You might as well steal. At least your drawer would balance.

  370. PJM – Obviously, the union doesn’t require simple arithmetic as a skill for your job!

  371. I’m tempted to put like $5 of my own money each week in the till to maybe balance it out.

    I have NO idea what they were thinking making me manager.

    It’s too chaotic with kids roaming around you add everything in your head. They try to trick you. They’ll have you get 20 items for them, then they’ll take 2 away and then add 3 more.

    I told PJD I should have taken the library job, but he said books would wind up missing.

  372. But you can’t eat books.

  373. Ugh, everything is SO gross in the snack bar. Low fat brownies, low fat cookies, low fat ice cream bars that have no weight to them whatsoever, baked chips, low-fat chocolate chip muffins, bagels with lo-fat cream cheese, low-fat cinnamon loafs, low-fat lemon bread, fruit nuggets and hot sunflower seeds.

    PJM – Obviously, the union doesn’t require simple arithmetic as a skill for your job!

    I can add, it’s all in quarter denominations, I think I’m just retarded and get distracted or something. It’s awful.

  374. I QUIT!!!!

    but I can’t because I need to help support MCPO

  375. PJM – I’ve told you before, I only pay for the kids that are biologically mine!

  376. Hey Peej! Look over there! A bunny.

  377. That’s the spirit PJ!!

    I’ll take a blueberry bagel with cream cheese, a bag of Cheetos, some chocolate milk, no wait I want that bagel plain with the blueberry cream cheese, some carrot sticks, and could you break this $10 for two fives and five singles please, no not carrots, fruit nuggets, and a white milk instead of two chocolates. Thank you!!

  378. Cyn, you nailed it to a tee……but add to the scene kids trying to reach over and grab stuff and playing with the sign I put up and yelling and whistling at their friends. So loud.

    It’s kinda fun actually.

    PJM – I’ve told you before, I only pay for the kids that are biologically mine!

    So, according to my addition, you owe me $74,345 in back support.

    OH A BUNNY!!!!!!!!!

  379. Low fat stuff is not good for you.
    I’d dip all that in oil before I ate it.

  380. So, according to my addition, you owe me $74,345 in back support.

    Blood; turnip. . . do the math.

  381. mmmm… oil…

  382. Then, the lunches they serve are stuff like this

    and I have to spend the first part of lunch removing the grease off the top so it’s palatable.

    The school district kitchen manager in a neighboring district got fired and the district fined something like $56,000 dollars……why? Because he removed the “healthy” pop tarts off the menu and put in string cheese instead. The required amount of calories was not served.

  383. mmmmmm, oil.

    are we going back to that kinky hostages women thing we were talking about the other day?

  384. are we going back to that kinky hostages women thing we were talking about the other day?
    —————————
    That sounds like a great idea. I’ll just watch. Don’t mind me.

  385. Blood; turnip. . . do the math.

    we don’t serve that…….we do have canned peaches in light syrup, however.

  386. Do you have yellow jello with frozen peas? I used to make money at lunch for eating those on a dare.

  387. Do you have yellow jello with frozen peas? I used to make money at lunch for eating those on a dare.

    hahaha, are those mixed together or separate?

  388. I had lunch with Herself at a Messican joint today. Not bad, but a little bland for my taste. Now, I’m sitting around awaiting a call from Apple so I can get back into my account.
    Great OS5 rollout, guys! /sarc

  389. hahaha, are those mixed together or separate?

    Together, of course. We could never figure out how the peas stayed so crispy.

  390. Sorry. I was wrong. It wasn’t poptarts he took off the breakfast menu, it was the chocolate chip muffins.

    http://cvesdreporter.blogspot.com/

  391. Yes, Frito Pie is GF….. YAY!!!!!

    That NY Magazine article is so full of win, it’s not even funny; the anarchy is devolving right on schedule…..

    And Laura, that video that you linked moved you to the top of my “Kill First” list – ♥
    *orders industrial-strength eye bleach in warehouse-sized container*

  392. We had breakfast in school too. Except we called it “a bowl of cereal before you come in”.

  393. We had breakfast in school too. Except we called it “a bowl of cereal before you come in”.

    I make Gavin bacon, eggs and coffee every coffee every single morning. Madeleine gets a bacon grilled cheese sandwich and I make Garren a bowl of cereal or cook him up a hamburger real fast.
    Graham has eggs over medium on a piece of toast.

    then they go to school and eat cocoa puffs w/chocolate milk because they’re pigs

  394. My grandma used to make us breakfast every morning when she was over, but mom never did. Cereal was enough.

    However, now that Mom = Grandma, she will make breakfast every morning for the grandkids.

    Hmmm, I’m sensing a pattern.

  395. So when I’m a grandma, I’m gonna do the opposite and serve cold cereal because I’ll be all tired and shit.

    I only cook for them because it’s cheaper than cereal and I hope that the protein will keep them fuller longer.

  396. Never thought of it that way, but eggs actually are cheaper than cereal nowadays.

    Huh.

  397. Ok. I’m off to give out free money!!

  398. >> eggs over medium on a piece of toast

    I thought you liked your eggs fertilized.

    *homage to Peelie

  399. Shouldn’t there be a new poat or something right about now?

  400. WOW! It’s like I’m magic or something!

    There’s a new poat now.

  401. I came looking for boobs, the only ones I see aren’t the kind I was looking for. I am leaving disappointed.


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