Getting Beasn Off (My Back)

I’ve been derelict in posting new Henry photos and Beasn has been all up in my grill about it so here’s some stuff.  These are a few weeks old but whatever.

Here is Henry looking at the flying monkeys after I fed him InfamiLSD formula.

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Here is Henry attempting his first facepalm.

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This is Henry boring of Floyds farts and unexpressed glands.

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Here is Henry pretending to be a grumpy old man.  GET OFF MY BLANKIE!!!

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Here is a picture of Henry’s baby hernia a.k.a. Hernry.

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Here is Floyd wanting to lick Henry’s face which he is prohibited from doing.

*

You may now return to comments about football and yelling HAPPY BIRTHDAY at Jew.

369 Comments

  1. This is a pretty kick ass post.

  2. Yay! Henry pics! Happy Birthday, Jew! Go Chiefs!

  3. Hi baby,

  4. I’m jealous of his hairline.

  5. Is it Jewstin’s birthday?

    Crap, I didn’t get him anything.

  6. I’m jealous of his hairline.

    I’m jealous of his seemingly unlimited access to Mrs. Rosetta’s bewbs.

  7. Chumpo, I’m ready to hang out and talk shit with you again.

    Please host a meat-up at your place and fly everyone in so we can have some fun.

  8. He doesn’t appreciate the bewbs like we would.

  9. FINALLY!

    Now where are the most current pictures?

    *scritches to Henry and Floyd*

    Happy Birdday, Jewstin!!

  10. There are several things that I can think about that make me immediately smile and this is in the top 20:

    “Are you the bus driver?”

    “No man, I’m Chumpo.”

    HAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHAHAHAHA!!!

    Damn that shit was fun.

  11. Aw crap, I drunkenly ate 2/3 of my balls.

  12. Chumpo!!!!!!

    How you been, buddy?

  13. *blink* *blink*

  14. HAHA! Way to go, Leon. We are now officially a p0rn blog.

  15. And shit just got real in the movie I’m watching.

  16. Jew, how old are you RIGHT NOW?!?!

  17. *waves at Chumpo*

  18. We are now officially an p0rn blog.

    At least it isn’t football, right Hotspur?

  19. Aw crap, I drunkenly ate 2/3 of my balls.

    1 leon, 3 balls

  20. I have no idea precisely how many nuts have been in my mouth today.

  21. AWWWWW.

    You realize Carin knows the drive to your house, right?

  22. Hahahahahaha

    Hernry

    You magnificent bastard!

  23. Please host a meat-up at your place and fly everyone in so we can have some fun.

    Funny, I wrote a screenplay. I am working on the funding and I want to bring everybody to the premiere.

    Hi Andy!

    Hosetta, I’ll let you know when I’m visiting my Brother again.

  24. You realize Carin knows the drive to your house, right?

    Henry wears one of those things around his ankle that will set off an alarm if she tries to steal him.

    He’s 10 pounds of gangsta.

  25. Ooo, good point, lauraw. She was plotting all this time.

    She was so close to pulling off the perfect heist, too.

  26. Heh, that was me, Rosetta.

  27. Hey Cyn.

    Still scaldingly Hot?

  28. I have no idea precisely how many nuts have been in my mouth today.

    This one’s yours for the taking, Xbrad.

  29. Funny, I wrote a screenplay. I am working on the funding and I want to bring everybody to the premiere.

    I want in on the screenplay writing! Let me know if you feel like it needs more stupid.

    Hosetta, I’ll let you know when I’m visiting my Brother again.

    Please do so. I’ll take you guys out for some fun.

  30. Yep, wife #3 will definitely be a Japanese vampire girl.

  31. I am literally smoking hot at the moment, Chumpo. XOXOXO!

    How many children are you working to feed at the moment? Are you up to 12 yet?

  32. Get away from her Floyd! She looks hungry!

    http://tinyurl.com/6x4bhfz

  33. Heh, that was me, Rosetta.

    Ha! I was thinking it was Michael. That sounds like a jackass comment he would make.

    You should be embarrassed that you made a comment that sounds like Michael.

  34. Here’s a great how to on screen writing. I read it and finished my script in about a month.

    http://tinyurl.com/3hyw4zs

  35. Henry looks handsome and very content, Rosie. Please keep up the good work.

  36. Yes, J’Ames. I don’t poat much, but I had a great inspiration for one this afternoon.

    Not p0rn, but close.

  37. Two little girls.

    One is sleeping next to me right now.

    Lets have a party at you place now that it’s getting cooler.

  38. Get away from her Floyd! She looks hungry!

    http://tinyurl.com/6x4bhfz

    Apparently Mare likes unexpressed glands.

    Gross.

  39. Some movies are “over the top”. This movie saw the top, fired a missile at it, and parachute-surfed on the explosion.

  40. >> DiT, You just want to set me on fire again.

    So?

    All seriousness aside, I think you could teach seminars, on joy, and contentment.

  41. Damn! Henry is getting near to needing a haircut!

    Happy Birthday Jewstin!

    Rosetta – Kiss my partially-chapped ass!

    Hi, Cyn!

  42. Well, we’re both old, but he has the whole lawyer thing going, so at least I’m not in that crowd.

  43. C’mon over Chumpo in about 1 more month. That’s when I vacuum and dust and the temps will be even more perfect.

  44. I must say MCPO: you’re looking freshly-pressed today. Mmmm and you smell good too.

  45. Henry looks handsome and very content, Rosie. Please keep up the good work.

    He’s a good looking monkey. He’s also strong like bull.

    He can already turn himself over and he’s only 7 weeks old. Granted, it’s when he’s fucking pissed off but still.

  46. That cat dies in the end doesn’t it?

  47. Cyn – If you only knew how untrue that statement would be! Just got off the golf course and I smell like a ditch-digger!

  48. That’s a good lookin baby boy. I can see he got his looks from his dad, his mom still has hers.

  49. Your various poats about pride in fatherhood and love for life and song make an impact on me Dave, I don’t read a lot of blogs. I’m lucky to have fell into the best of company. I gotta jet. getting late and I must do some pen and ink drawing for class.

    Miss you bitches.

  50. Why does he get pissed off?

    You already give him noogies, don’t you?

  51. MCPO, do you have a chair lift?

    I’M LIVING IN HALF MY HOUSE!!!!

    I hate that commercial. I know it sucks to get senior and have trouble with stairs but you don’t have to cry like a bitch about it.

    I’m probably going to go to hell for that comment.

  52. Later, Chumpo.

    Don’t be a stranger.

  53. It smells like you had fun Chief :)

    ————–

    Good to see you Chumpman. Squishy Hugs!!

  54. No, you’re going to Hell because you laughed at Wanda Fucking Sykes. See you there.

  55. you no say hi to me?

    MCPO is cranky

  56. Rosetta – In fact, I do not have a chair lift, but would have one installed as soon as you pay for it. . . labor included. FYVM and have a nice day, you shave-headed ‘git!

  57. King Abdullah just granted women the right to vote in Saudi.

    Unrelated; Sharp uptick in Semtex sales.

  58. That’s a good lookin baby boy. I can see he got his looks from his dad, his mom still has hers.

    That was Hotspur’s favorite joke pre-civil war.

  59. I smell Desitin, latex, Jagermeister, Thai food, and fear. Hello Hostages!

    Happy birthday, Jewstin!

  60. Rosetta – In fact, I do not have a chair lift, but would have one installed as soon as you pay for it. . . labor included. FYVM and have a nice day, you shave-headed ‘git!

    Hahahaha.

    How many balls did you shank into the woods today?

  61. Wiser!!!! how the fuck are you man?? Guess what? #1 son got side-swiped by a semi in Connecticut on Thursday.. The guy never even slowed down after he hit him! Looks like Enterprise will be buying 2 door skins and a mirror for a brand new Escape!

  62. I smell Desitin, latex, Jagermeister, Thai food, and fear. Hello Hostages!

    ARE YOU IN MY HOUSE?!?!?

  63. Rosetta – Zero shanks. Played well on the front, but I was drunk by the time we got to 13 and limped in with an 82.

  64. Hope he’s okay, MCPO! Awful.

  65. Excellent post. King Henry and the Baron von Fartendrool.

  66. This has been simply the best undead vs. undead movie I have ever seen. Far surpasses all others. Highly recommended for drunk people.

  67. Did we ever get a report on Carin’s son’s loss of his virginity?

  68. LauraW – He’s fine – just spent a couple of days here keeping his old man company. On his way to Scranton/Wilkes-Barre.

  69. #1 son got side-swiped by a semi in Connecticut on Thursday.. The guy never even slowed down after he hit him! Looks like Enterprise will be buying 2 door skins and a mirror for a brand new Escape!

    Holy Shiite Muslim! Is he okay?

  70. Oh man, I want Thai food now.

  71. King Abdullah just granted women the right to vote in Saudi.
    ————————–
    Islamist In Name Only. He’ll be letting them drive, next.

  72. ARE YOU IN MY HOUSE?!?!?

  73. >> I’m lucky to have fell into the best of company

    See, that’s another reason. You think of others.

    Wow I hate you.

    MCPO, hope the lad’s ok. Cars can be replaced. People cannot.

    *old joke* Yeah, use it once in a while, see if the Mrs. hates it. I’m guessing, no.

  74. I smell Desitin, latex, Jagermeister, Thai food, and fear.

    Hey, where was the Thai food? I missed that!

  75. Excellent post. King Henry and the Baron von Fartendrool.

    Hahahahahaha. Thanks brother.

    At some point last night, Floyd decided to lick Henry’s car seat. It looked like a million slugs descended on it and had an orgy.

    That pig is lucky he’s cute.

  76. Off to the showers – BBL!

  77. King Abdullah just granted women the right to vote in Saudi.

    Demographics must be catching up with them. We should start sending Mormons to breed there and eventually supplant the native population.

  78. Goddamnit why is there no Thai food in Sumpter Township!?

  79. Islamist In Name Only. He’ll be letting them drive, next.

    Isn’t this type of westernization what set off Osama in the first place?

    That and siding with the US in Kuwait.

  80. Good one leon! I can just envision those clean cut young men carrying books, walking down the dusty…

    *bing bong*

    Doorbell, brb

  81. Leon, you live amongst the Lily White. What the fuck do you expect.

    Come back to Ann Arbor where there are brown and yellow peeples.

  82. Pool down to 75. I likes

  83. Who gave Jew a birthday?

    Did anyone get him a shirt yet?

  84. For the Catholics here – is your church making the changeover to the new Mass already, and are they making it as painful as possible?

  85. Dear Dr. Rosetta: The curried chicken I had for dinner last night was yellower than the people who served it to me.

    Should I denounce myself?

    Sincerely,

    BiW

  86. For the Catholics here – is your church CERN making the changeover to the new Mass already, and are they making it as painful fast as possible?

    There you go.

  87. e Pluribus unum

  88. Hahahahaha. Hadrons.

  89. I go to the Old People Mass. We have been resisting change for 10 years. We still kneel when we are supposed to stand.

  90. Dear Dr. Rosetta: The curried chicken I had for dinner last night was yellower than the people who served it to me.

    Should I denounce myself?

    Sincerely,

    BiW

    Dear BiW,

    Try to avoid eating at Jaundice Palace.

    Next question.

  91. Leon, you live amongst the Lily White. What the fuck do you expect.

    No good. I’m stuck. Just gonna make do with Chinese food.

  92. Our visitor today was calling out John Hagee as a heretic.

    Good times, good times.

  93. Roamy, I’m so badly lapsed I didn’t even know it was changing. How man ways can you do the stations of the cross?

  94. et tu, Brute.

    Confligranonymous al dente.

  95. Guess what? #1 son got side-swiped by a semi in Connecticut on Thursday..

    yeah…. we do that here….

    Fuck the car, how’s the boy?

  96. Hahahahaha. Hadrons.

    Hahahahahahaha.

  97. I always liked the station: Jesus meets the women of Jerusalem.

    Score!

  98. I watched Thor last night.

    It was fun.

  99. I watched Thor Edward Penislawyer last night.

    It was fun.

    Weirdo.

  100. Leon, the powers that be have spent several years rewriting some of the prayers and responses. The changeover starts with Advent this year. Our pain in the ass prima donna music director, who is a fucking showoff, introduced us to the new “Gloria” this morning, and Mr. RFH and I were ready to walk out.

  101. Now watching the SciFi verson of Dune.

    A visually lavish treat.

  102. That and siding with the US in Kuwait.
    ——————————-
    I’m serious about this. These islamists are pretty stupid, so we should be using that to our advantage.

    We should be sending al Qaeda email that says something like:

    Dear Taliban,

    Your beards are pretty faggy, and you totally don’t have the balls to meet us at the burned out mud hut at 3pm. I’ll totally kick your ass if you do.

    From,

    Al Qaeda

  103. Romy, I laughed out loud at that.

    I’m sorry.

  104. needs more cowbell

  105. Lots of eastern European hotassery in that, BiW.

  106. The scifi version of Dune?

    What drugs are you on?

    *watches the historical fiction version of Dune*

  107. DINNER! BASEBALL!!

    bbl

  108. Leon,

    You ain’t kidding, brother.

  109. I sometimes think they’re just trying to make it harder for me to come back.

  110. *kicks a fire ant dune…

    ow.. OW.. OW OW OW OW OW OW GODDAMIT MUTHAFUCKER OWW

  111. Dear Taliban,

    Your beards are pretty faggy, and you totally don’t have the balls to meet us at the burned out mud hut at 3pm. I’ll totally kick your ass if you do.

    From,

    Al Qaeda

    Hahahahahaha.

    That’s fucking genius.

    + 3 stars for General MJ

  112. The old Lions are back!!!!!!!!!!!!!

    IN YOUR FACE SCOTT.

  113. Someone go fetch me some vino. I’ve had a way -too-busy weekend. I deserve some down time.

  114. I wish sci-fi had had a larger budget for Dune. The story really deserves a high-quality, faithful treatment at some point.

  115. *fetches Carin some vino*

    Kendall Jackson Reserve Chardonnay okay?

  116. You’re not sorry one bit, BiW. You’re just glad you don’t have to suffer through all eight verses of “My Lord What a Morning” in super slow legato.

  117. Dear Taliban,

    We’re going to learn math at the school located at 72 Virgin Drive tomorrow at 3pm. Don’t you dare show up and try to stop us with your car bombs and those Zionist pipe bombs you strap to yourselves.

    2+2=4 you left-shoe-licking neanderthals!

    Also, those aren’t drones you hear overhead; they’re pretty, pretty birds.

    Sincerely,

    Little Muslim Girls

  118. They did have a nice comeback Car in, but they fell 1/2 point of covering. Woo Hoo!

  119. “He gives water to the dead.”

  120. No Romy, I have to deal with “pentacostal” preachers who keep predicting the second coming in contravention to what the Book says.

  121. I knew some pentacostal gals in high school. They had nice hair.

  122. See, this is the stupidity of the Vatican.

    Dominus Vobiscum: God be with you.

    Et cum Spiri tu tuo: And also with you

    Fuck, how about: And with your Spirit?

    It’s Latin, assholes.

    Quit making shit up.

  123. Leon, that’s why I was asking. I think it’s just my church. Mr. RFH and I discussed going to the Saturday evening service only or changing to either the Army chapel or one of the other Catholic churches in town. I hate to let this chickenshit music director run me off. I became a Catholic at this church 21 years ago.

  124. Dear Taliban,
    —————————
    Hahahahahahaha.

  125. Dave, I am so not clicking on that. They could be the best singers ever, but I heard that song enough today.

  126. I wish Up With People were still touring.

  127. Dominick, go frisk ’em.

  128. Dear Al Qaeda,

    All ur goat-wives are belong to us, lol

    Taliban RUUUULES!!!1!1

  129. Roamy, I was never really churched as an adult. If I started now, I’d probably go to one of the shorter masses earlier in the week. Having spent time among Adventists, Saturday evening has a strong appeal.

  130. OH NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOES!!!!

    http://tinyurl.com/6jgyllj

  131. Dear Al Qaeda,

    All ur goat-wives are belong to us, lol

    Taliban RUUUULES!!!1!1

    Hahahahahahahahahahahaha!

  132. Pepper-spraying hippies would be the best day ever in the NYPD.

  133. Dear Taliban,
    Free ammunition for all your weapons needs! Including TOW and Stinger missiles! All absolutely free if you’ll be at 17 Goatse Lovers Lane at 4 PM.

    Love,
    The US Military

    P.S. It will be delivered in excess of 2500 fps so watch carefully for it.

  134. Ohhh, it feels good to be clean and shiny!

    I quit serving mass when they turned around and said it in English. . . with freaking guitars. Damnable hippie Vatican II!

  135. And great long skirts Leon

  136. Dear Al Qaeda,

    Room at the top for number two ops chief! Ducking missiles extra good experience. Please fuck a goat and submit a resume.. ALALALALALALALALA!

    Yours, Al-Q HR

  137. Latin is the right language for mass. English lacks a certain majesty.

  138. And great long skirts Leon

    Good point. Might have been what attracted me. They dressed like women in a world full of girls in t-shirts and jeans, same as all the guys.

  139. Dear al-Qaeda,

    Your new prayer mats have arrived.

    http://tinyurl.com/3r4pl7g

    LOL. LONG LIVE BACON!!

    Take care,

    The Taliban

  140. As a convert, I missed out on the Latin, and I’m sorry for that.

  141. I honestly think Catholics should know as much Latin as Jews know Hebrew, and for the same reason.

  142. Roamy – High Mass was majestic in Latin.

  143. Dear Al Qaeda.

    Recently my friend and I were wondering, while running like hell from the conflagration around us, is it permissible to look at each other in the eyes while whackin it?

    It feels wrong, but we succumb.

    Please provide guidance.. thank you muchly!

    ull lulululu and shit

  144. Is est meus somes. . .

  145. Is est meus cruor. . .

  146. Dear al-Qaeda,

    We’re leaving you for Muqtada al-Ṣadr because he lets us wear jeans and listen to dance music.

    Please don’t send any of your ham-licking losers to his hideout to try and stop us.

    Fuq you.

    Sincerely,

    Goats

  147. Dear al Qaeda,

    Do you like porn? Me neither. But if you really don’t like porn, please visit the Not-Porn-Shop at corner of NE Mohammed and SW Mohammed, downtown Peshawar. Crazy deals, for those who just want to buy porn so it can be burned.

    For realsies,

    The Taliban

    PS. American troop presence is a huge cowinquiedink.

  148. Dear Taliban,

    At least George W. Bush can read My Pet Goat. lol.

    Also, your mom was a Jew.

    Love,

    al-Qaeda

  149. Dear Al Qaeda,

    Last night we roasted and ate a young goat that totally looked like the Zarkster.
    Please inform the next of kin, lol suckas

    Sincerely,
    The Taliban Is Eating Your Children

    PS the return addy written on this bloody goatskin is where you can all come to suck our dicks

  150. Obama: GOP Vision Of Government Would ‘Fundamentally Cripple America’

    Fucking asshole.

    http://tinyurl.com/5tnytsk

    Caution: HuffPo link

    The correct headline would read:

    GOP Vision Of Government Would ‘Fundamentally Cripple America if I hadn’t already’

  151. Dearest Al-Q

    May the flowers of a thousand virgins not find your smell offensive.

    Recently Hadj and me, we’ve been keeping the mountain pass clear for goats, except when the Americans show up and make us scatter like the wind with their bombs and missiles..

    But my question is, how can I tell if Hadj burns for men? Because his dick tastes like shit.

    Curious, and yours to Allah. Lullullulu

  152. Obama is a liar and a SCOAMF.

  153. Is fundamentally the only long word Teh One knows?

  154. Hey al-Qaeda,

    You know the last thing to go through Obama’s mind before he died?

    A bacon-dipped slug from the Great Satan.

    HAHA! Just kidding. But seriously, I can see the eyes of your wife, you bagel-eating apostate.

    All my best,

    Taliban

  155. Yo, AQ-Dog,

    Yo shit be whack. Las’ im at da sewer-cide dilio, yo homies were bunk, yo! I thawt you said Mo-gansta was down for the ‘pocalypse. His dumbass just brought some sparklers. Weak ass shit.

    Quit trippin’

    Taliban in Afghanistan-word

  156. Hi Al Qaeda.

    Did I spell that right? I sure hope so!

    What’s the deal with your presidents, or whatever you call them, and missiles?

    I do not think this is a winning strategery.

    yours,

    Dave

  157. My Dearest Taliban,

    I dance for you.

    Love,

    Chaz Bone

  158. Is fundamentally the only long word Teh One knows?

    It’s the longest word that can fit on the teleprompter unhyphenated.

  159. Hello to you Taliban!

    I have groin aches for you.

    Please say you like

  160. Hey al-Qaeda,

    You know the primary cause of global warming?

    A shit-load of JDAMs. lol.

    Just kidding. ALLAH AKTARD!!!

    Love,

    The Taliban Posse

    Word to your burqa.

  161. MCPO, I had to look those up.

  162. (Flyer dropped on Taliban stronghold)

    ***NOTICE OF SPECIAL SALE***

    ***THIS IS NOTIFYING YOU OF A REDUCED RATE FOR GOODS***

    75% OFF THE PRICE OF FLYING CARPETS FOR TALIBAN MEMBERS

    AT HAMID’S RUGS

    MY BROTHERS,

    MAY ALLAH AND THE PROPHET (PB&J) BE WITH YOU. THESE RUGS WERE FOUND BY THE FOREIGN INTERLOPERS IN A LONG-HIDDEN VAULT VERY FAR BELOW THE GROUND IN OUR SACRED LANDS.

    IT TOOK A GREAT SACRIFICE OF GOLD AND LIVES TO RECOVER THESE ARTICLES, SO HAMID CANNOT OFFER THEM FOR FREE. BUT IN SOLIDARITY TO OUR CAUSE, AND AS YOU SWEAR THAT YOU WILL USE THESE POWERS OF FLIGHT TO FURTHER JIHAD, YOU MAY ACQUIRE THESE RARE TREASURES AT A GREAT DISCOUNT.

    AT HAMID’S RUGS, THIS SUNDAY ONLY

    BELIEVE IN HAMID: YOU WILL FLY SOME DISTANCE, THAT DAY!

    ***NOTICE OF SPECIAL SALE***

    ***THIS IS NOTIFYING YOU OF A REDUCED RATE FOR GOODS***

  163. Dear Rosetta,

    I totally got laid before you. By like a year, not just a few days. And she was fucking hot. And she brought a friend. Who just happens to be our Spanish teacher, Ms. Montoya.

    Love,

    King Henry, I learned everything from the Hostages

  164. Current TV: Shed of Misfit Tools

    http://tinyurl.com/4556psu

  165. We’re baaaaaaack!

    Which one of you f***in’ morons decided to turn the heat up in South Texas this weekend? (Made it all the way up to Fort Worth while we were away, judging by the temperatures inside the Casa de TiFW)

    It’s September, for criminey’s sake!

  166. Hahahahahaha. Drunk weatherman in the control booth.

    http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=CJnORSWvoh0

  167. Look at the weather. LOOK AT IT!!!

  168. Secret coded message to Al-Qaeda secret stronghold in secret places.

    Dearest brothers.

    Much recommendation, you sleep in the sewage ditch one point two kilometers from the “safe house” place.

    We are just saying.

  169. I will not be ignored, Dan.

  170. What galls me most about the greenies is their hate for people.

    http://wattsupwiththat.com/2011/09/25/they-had-to-burn-the-village-to-save-it-from-global-warming/

  171. >> What galls me most about the greenies communists is their hate for people

    See how that works now?

  172. That weather video made me LOL in my dinner gown.

  173. Is your dinner gown a rain poncho? Just askin’.

  174. MJ, why would it be anything but a used prom dress?

  175. Oh yeah, Dave. Watermelons.

    Green on the outside and red on the inside.

  176. Is your dinner gown a rain poncho? Just askin’.

    Don’t judge me, Chaz in Tampa.

  177. Some entertaining comments at Rosetta’s HuffPo link. The wheels are starting to come off the Magic Unicorn Skittle Bus

    “Translated­: I am a failure so I must deflect and blame someone else.
    Again…..­….
    What’s the tee time today ?”

    “more dire warnings from the captian of the titanic… ”

    “BO I swear is either smoking crack or has alzheimers or just fundamenta­lly hates america!!! He says the most unbelievab­le things. the faster we can get this guy far far from DC the better!!!”

    At HuffPo?!?! Cascade of preference?

  178. If leftists are bugged about President SuperTotem, who can’t like that?

    I can, and I’m grillin steaks.

  179. http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=aOa5KQCqurM

  180. Those comments are interesting, Hot Rocket.

    I never read the comments over there because I just assumed they were all still ChimpMcBushitlerHalliburtonZOMGDielbold

  181. I hate people.

    Dave sucks.

  182. Scott – Me two, err, to, uhhh too.

  183. I’ve read this numerous places in the last week so you all probably have too but the one thing that will make the media turn on Obama in a lightening flash is if they have to discredit him to save the liberalism ideal.

    Which they’re going to have to do. He’s about to feel really cold and alone.

  184. I hate people.

    Me too. Especially Dave.

    Dave sucks.

    Oh. Good call.

  185. OBAMA LIED!!

    CHAZ BONE CHANGED GENDER!!

  186. That baby is SO cute, he must be somehow related to ME!

  187. Dave does not suck! Dave blows.

  188. I never read the comments over there because I just assumed they were all still ChimpMcBushitlerHalliburtonZOMGDielbold

    I did, too, until I saw the first one, which I quoted. Most of them still are Obama fans, but the cracks are showing.

  189. MCPO knows things.

  190. >> Dave sucks.

    Oh sorry, I had to grill a steak, answer emails, and get into the 78 degree water to cool off.

    My bad.

  191. Andy, I’d like to post that Uganda story at the mothership next week if you arent going to take it. Just spent 1/2 hr following and reading links.

  192. I read the comments at HP almost everyday. At first I thought that the turn against Obama was related to HPs purchase by AOL, but then I realized their realizing what normal people always knew: he’s inexperienced, untested, and in over his head.

  193. It’s all yours. I put it in the sidebar.

  194. fuckin hell, it’s hot here..

    s’cuse me

  195. Oh, and Henry is quite the handsome fella – Henry and Floyd are SOOOOOO cute in that last picture!

    Happy Birthday, Jewstin – hope you had a FAAAAAA-bulous day!

    Glad #1 son is OK, Chief – that must have been scary for you and him. We saw a horrible wreck on our way down to visit family this weekend – one of the cars was missing its driver’s compartment, and the other one had a red tarp over it, with the firefighters still using the jaws of life to get the bodies out. A hearse was waiting near the scene; prayers were sent up from the TiFW van when we saw that…..

  196. They’re going to display their rubber fists over there.

    /grammar imam

  197. Cool, Andy.

  198. ok, better.

    water temp 76

  199. Time to make the donuts wrestle Floyd’s ass.

    See you smart apes later.

  200. BWAHAHAHAHAHAHA!

    Read on the ‘net today.

    “Atashi Izzati 6 days ago

    Islam never cause other religion any problem or being hostile.. so why did they do that to our religion? “

  201. Read this article posted in the sidebar at Ace’s, couldn’t help but notice one quote in particular – the irony, it burns:

    Al Gore, for one, remains upbeat. The former vice president and Nobel Prize-winning climate campaigner says “ferocity” in defense of false beliefs often increases “as the evidence proving them false builds.”

    http://www.sfgate.com/cgi-bin/article.cgi?f=/n/a/2011/09/24/national/a101025D62.DTL&type=printable

    Had to pick myself off of the floor, I was laughing so hard…..

  202. Oh, and you will be proud, no doubt, to learn that Rebecca will one day make a fine addition to the Moron Herd.

    Mr. TiFW finally wrested control of the RebeccaVan’s entertainment system away from her on the drive back today, and made her watch “Battlefield: Los Angeles”.

    We got home, and she wanted to watch it again……

  203. great pics, thanks for sharing
    also

    hmmm http://tinyurl.com/3o8dzgl

  204. Dear Taliban,

    Your screwed up dietary laws mean more bacon for us.

    You may now resume your regularly scheduled goat fucking.

    Sincerely,

    The Moron Nation

  205. Dear Taliban,

    When you beat your women for immodesty because they dare show a spot of flesh other than their eyes, you’re doing it wrong.

    God made hot women for their beauty to be appreciated. Your failure to understand this is probably why you “enjoy” young boys and livestock.

    You continue with “Jerking for Allah Fridays” and we’ll keep Big Boob Fridays.

    In Contempt,

    The Hostages.

  206. I’m jonesing for some Ramen noodles.

  207. Dinner tonight in medium shells with ground beef and onion marinara.

    “Maaaaarrrrrrreeeeee!!!!*

  208. Oh, and you will be proud, no doubt, to learn that Rebecca will one day make a fine addition to the Moron Herd.

    I think you mean Moron Horde.

    “Herd” is what the other guys do, which brought us the oft-repeated brilliance of George W. Bush being the dumbest President Ever, and Sarah Palin being a cunt.

  209. boring.. no girls.

    eat your noodles and ground beef or whatever..

  210. We could ask Hotspur to put his skirt on for you, Dave.

  211. I’m hankering for a hunk of cheese

  212. I stand corrected, BiW – “Horde” it is!

  213. Thanks all for the birhday wishes. Who sent up smoke signals for the Tushar babies? HAPPY BIRTHDAY TUSHAR BABIES!!!!

  214. Also, here’s a transcript from my hot date:

    Date guy: Uhhhh. Derrrrrr?

    Mexican Stranger: Hahahaha Julie like you.

    Me: Uhh?

    Julie: *Breaks something important in my insides

    Me: What’s ‘Liquid Marijuana?’ *gurgles

  215. I’m officially fucked up and I didn’t even get laid.

    MARE!!!!!!!

  216. Aslo, Julie is a hoot. That broad is fucking hystyerical!

  217. Julie decided I’m Irish-Catholic. Julie’s brother-in-law ddecided I should go to a rosary (what the fuck is that?!) with her. Discussion ensued.

  218. Hank is dead cute. Now, where the hell are Mrs. Peel and Herr? Aaron and Herr Sophie deserve blog time too@

  219. Julie is 52. We aren’t planning an engagement party.

  220. Date Guy seems to have a walnut lodged in the important part of his brain. We aren’t planning an engagement party either.

  221. Was Date Guy cute?

  222. Are you fuckers hiding from aJehovah’s Witness? Where is everybody?!

  223. Hi Osoloco! And yes, Date Guy is dead sexy.

  224. That makes up for multiple walnuts in the brain.

  225. I’m officially fucked up and I didn’t even get laid.

    You want me to give you wiserbud’s phone number?

    Oh and Happy Birthday!

  226. Ha! PJ, I would totally drunk dial Wiser if you gave me his number.

    Also, I’m not sure Date Guy is sexy enough to make up for the walnuts.He’s got something special going on.

  227. I’m particularly happy because it wan’t my turn to say some horrifying and stupid.

  228. Jew,
    I find if I wait around long enough, my turn comes even if it isn’t my turn.

  229. Happy Birfday Jew!
    Are ya 20 yet?

  230. But I’m really baffled at ‘Liquid Marijuana,’ I know it’s a drink somebody gave me, but what the fuck? Bathtub gin doesn’t bash my skull like that shit.

    What’s in a Liquid Marijuana?

  231. Heh! Vmax, I am a worldly 32 today.

  232. 2 kinds of Rum and lots of sugary mixers.

  233. Bartender: *pouring, pouring, pouring, spinning, pouring, grabbing pouring. . .

    Me: Holy shit. It tastes like COCONUT!

  234. MOM!!! JEWSTIN HAS BEEN DRINKING LEON’S COCONUT OIL AGAIN!!!

  235. I used to like Ocean Water. Coconut Rum, Blue Curacao, and Seven Up. Now, lose the 7UP, add Spiced Rum, Sweet and Sour, and Pineapple juice and you have Liquid Marijuana.

  236. Also, it was blue. How often do you drink blue stuff?

  237. Oso, do you have bartender blood in you? You are sooo going to have to come to the next meatup.

  238. LEON!! Yorur coconut oil fucks me up! Find a better hiding spot!

  239. Why can’t you just drink a good old fashioned bourbon?

  240. HA!HA! What color shirt did you wear Jew?

  241. While other kids were playing house and school, I was playing bar. I can only dream of being a bartender. Stupid insurance laws. I love the Blue drinks. Blue Hawaiians, Electric Lemonade, Ocean Water. Mmmmm…blue.

  242. I wore my Ace of Spades shirt, Cyn. It’s . . well, it’s the opposite of lucky. but it’s my date shirt.

  243. Now that I have diabetes, I drink lots of bourbon.

  244. Insurance laws prevented you from becoming a bartender, Oso? Hmmm. Maybe next time wear a disguise when setting someone’s house on fire.

  245. My rule is ‘stick to beer.’ When I deviate I get fucked. Happily, I got trashed tonight without veering into blotto territory.

  246. Apple drinks, blue drinks, and anything related to cinnamon flavor are deeply concerning to me.

  247. For a change Parrot Bay Rum straight up is good.
    Sweet and cocoa nut y.

    Mixed with OJ is a good wake up when on vacay on a tropical island

  248. In NM, the bartenders had to start carrying liability insurance. The liquor laws are crazy the way they go after servers. I just make drinks at family parties.

  249. I thought you were just complaining about NOT getting fucked?

  250. Happily, I got trashed tonight without veering into blotto territory.

    Most excellent. So will there be a second date or did the Mexican guy catch your eye?

  251. Where’s Wiser? PJ, call him up or give me the number to hector him. And Rosie too. We need more jerk-offs on this thinggy.

  252. You really don’t have wiser’s number? Iffin you want I’ll email it to you.

  253. Uh. There’s a possibility of a date on Tuesday. If that happens Date Guy will be renamed ‘Duurrp.’

    He’s really bad in the upstairs part of things.

  254. Jewstin, I dated a girl like that once.

    I had to get tested afterward, but it was fun for a few weeks.

  255. Check you email Jewstin.

    What the hell; as long as you have a bit of fun on a date. That’s why you go out on them.

  256. Doesn’t someone hate blue foods?

  257. Remember: you only DATE crazy; not marry it.

  258. I have four Hostages numbers and Wiser isn’t one of them. Also, I’m smashed out of my gourd. Tyhis might not be the time to send me anybody’s phone number.

  259. Whut!
    I have many Hostage #’s.
    But not Wisers.
    Email me CynnabunTigerChick!
    I will trade you Andy and Rosie’s

  260. Half the Hostages have my cell number, and none of ’em drunk dial me.

    Except PJ.

  261. I just sent you mine Jewstin.

    __________

    Vman, I already have those. What else you got to trade me? Hmmm?

  262. Cyn, you’re evil. I feel obligated to drunk dial Wiser now.

  263. Don’t be hating on blue foods, Sohos. Blueberries were created by angels.

  264. Boardwalk Empire laters yall

  265. Not evil. Just a pinch crafty.

    On occasion.

    When the mood strikes.

  266. Boardwalk Empire is part of the Rebel Alliance, right?

  267. Boardwalk Empire is where Paz de la Huerta shakes her tatas….

    http://xbradtc.wordpress.com/2011/09/12/load-heat-paz-de-la-huerta/

  268. In NM, the bartenders had to start carrying liability insurance.

    So the bars that employ you don’t pick that up or somehow cover you. That’s just crazy. I’m guessing that there’s maybe four bars in NM then with a bartender.

    *crosses NM off the to-do list*

  269. He’s really bad in the upstairs part of things.

    As that wise sage, Ron White, is fond of saying, “You can ‘fix’ a lot of things, but you can’t fix stupid.”

    Stupid is FOH-EVAH…….

  270. Paz is that provocateur chick. oooOOOooo. She’s a snappy dresser.

  271. She also scored very high on the “rent, don’t marry- crazy/drunk” scale, so she’s got that going for her.

  272. Dry air is on the way we will drop from 95 to 85.
    What a relief.

  273. That’s true of most women.

  274. Some bars do. But if you over serve or sell to minors it is all on you. They even go after clerks in stores here. Criminal prosecutions too.

  275. Tie game with 2:09 left! W0Ot!

  276. Great football today.

  277. Cyn, she’s been in court a lot lately. Which, if I wanted that, I’d bang Linday Lohan.

  278. It has been a great day for games.

  279. Oso, how much heroin do you mix with your insulin?

  280. Yeah, like Paz or LiLo would let you bang them.

    Well, I suppose if you had some free booze. And maybe some chloroform.

  281. No heroin. Morphine drips are worth hospitalization though.

  282. SQUEEEEAL!!! HE CALLED ME HE CALLED ME HE CALLED ME!!!!11!1!!

    *thud

  283. top of the 14th, game tied at 4…..

  284. ‘Kay, then. I drunk dialed Wiser. Whose turn is next?

    P.S. What a nice guy. He’s chatty.

  285. Jewstin, I’d tell you to call me, but I left my phone at home.

  286. Lets go Yankees! I really want the Red Sox to miss the play offs.

  287. chatty

    Chatty Cathy Wiser. HA!

  288. P.S. What a nice guy. He’s chatty.

    (oh god oh god oh god, i hope I didn’t make a fool of myself…..)

    (dammit dammit dammit shut up shut up shut up… yer talking too much……….)

  289. Jewstin– Carin LOVES to talk on the phone. Loves. It.

  290. damn. They brought in Proctor, who walks two and then gives up a home run.

    Ah well….

    It was fun while it lasted….

  291. wait.. you were drunk?

    *whew

    (maybe he’ll forget I talked so much….)

  292. actually, it’s getting late and the Yankees have to fly to TB for a 3-game series tonight.

    I’m sure the last thing they care about right now is continuing this meaningless game.

  293. So……Wiserbride’s a beard?

  294. So why are they even still playing then?

  295. I’m fairly certain I will think tomorrow that yesterday was Thursday. It never happened.

  296. I really hate the BoSox. I will love Bucky Dent forever just for his crushing their post season dreams.

  297. So why are they even still playing then?

    ’cause that’s what you do.

    both softball teams this morning were only able to get 8 players. so we played with the team at bat providing the catcher.

    Even though the catchers were playing for the team at bat, they still made plays against their teams.

    It’s what you do.

  298. Crap. I missed the end of the football game. Oso: final score please.

    They’re damn jabbering on the post game.

  299. Jewstin, I think Wiser is saying he makes a fine “catcher”…

  300. I really hate the BoSox. I will love Bucky Dent forever just for his crushing their post season dreams.

    oh hell yeah. You want to piss off a Red Sox fan, just mention Bucky Dent.

    It’s priceless.

  301. Steelers won. Field Goal. 23-20

  302. game over. Yankees lose 7-4.

  303. DAMMIT.

    I looked away for a second. So long as I kept rooting for the Steelers, the Colts were winning.

  304. Jewstin, I think Wiser is saying he makes a fine “catcher”…

    Why you gotta ruin a good night for us, Xbrad?

  305. I am really enjoying the Red Sox September collapse. I wouldn’t mind the Yankees throwing some games to the Rays.

  306. I am really enjoying the Red Sox September collapse. I wouldn’t mind the Yankees throwing some games to the Rays.

    Heh. I switched over to the Red Sox network to watch the interviews after the first game. It was painful, they were so depressed.

    I would also like to see the Sox miss the post season, just to put a massive exclamation point on one of the greatest meltdowns in baseball history.

    Anything to shut them up for just one season.

  307. “Anything to shut them up for just one season.” And their fans. Every ball park I’ve ever been to has always had an obnoxious Red Sox fan. I’ve been to a lot of baseball games. Every single one.

  308. Every ball park I’ve ever been to has always had an obnoxious Red Sox fan.

    I think I’ve said this before.

    Red Sox fans are, for the most part, the lowest class people on the planet. When they Yankees and Red Sox play, Yankee fans chant “Let’s go Yankees!” and Red Sox fans chant “Yankees Suck!” Regardless of who’s winning.

    When the Patriots won their first Super Bowl, they had a parade for them in Boston. The fans at the parade were chanting “Yankees Suck!”

    Get over it, losers.

  309. I grew up near Seattle. Home of the Mariners and the Seahawks.

    It was really tough to get excited about sports.

  310. Woo! Two drunk dials. Cyn has some smoke in her voice. She sounds right sexy.

  311. Jewstin, she’s hawt, and a hoot!

  312. A call from Jew and boys tucked in. WINNING!!

  313. She’s putting the boys in the attic to bed. She might be along later.

  314. Aww, thanks, Jew. I’ve been practicing my 900-number voice. Rawr.

  315. I think Jewstin has an excellent voice for radio.

  316. Don’t be giving away my family secrets now Jew!! There’s space in my basement for you.

  317. Pwning the comments.

  318. Dunno about Jewstin’s voice, but he’s certainly got a face for radio.

  319. Huhn; you don’t say.

  320. ZOMFG This is so true! http://i.imgur.com/KTRh6.png

  321. Did he pass out?

  322. I had to make one more drunk dial to Duurrp!.

  323. By ceasing to do any work, the “Attack Watch” team has now joined the ranks of 14 million other Americans under Obama’s economic policies.

    http://tinyurl.com/3n22gj6

  324. Where does your tinyurl take me if I click on it? I have no desire to go to HP, the WH, or BHO’s. TYIA.

  325. Who has Rosetta’s number? I could do this for another hour.

  326. NRO.

  327. Rosetta’s number?

    42

  328. cyn: http://longurl.org/

  329. OK, girls, I’m done for the night.

    Happy Birthday, Jewstin.

  330. Oh! Oh! Carin’s nbumber. I can breath heavily into the phone.

  331. night xbrad

    happy birthday, jewstin!

  332. Unfortunately, Rosetta answers his phone less frequently than he checks his email and Carin’s phone won’t ring inside her house or something. When I called her a few weeks back, she had to go outside to talk. *shakes fist at Algore’s globull warming cell service*

    You could call me again!! But, I need to be heading off to slumber myself. :(

  333. Thanks again for the birthday wisehes. And now that I’ve run out of phone numbers I have to go to bed because I’m sozzled.

  334. I’ll click on just about anything here, Jay, but something told me to ask about that one. It seems to me too that with tinyurl, you can tell it to generate a preview page, but I’ve found that is.gd generates more quickly than tiny does.

  335. longurl just lets you see what link is in the shortened url

  336. Happy Happy, Jew.

    Sweetest of dreams to you and Jay and all.

    Love,
    Cyn

  337. Comment by wiserbud on September 25, 2011 11:46 pm

    Jewstin, I think Wiser is saying he makes a fine “catcher”…

    Why you gotta ruin a good night for us, Xbrad?

    Your Bitchin’ about ONE NIGHT? Puhleeze…

  338. Comment by Teresa in Fort Worth, TX on September 25, 2011 11:38 pm

    So……Wiserbride’s a beard?

    No, in line for Sainthood, with Ms. Rosetta, and Ms. Cathy…

  339. Comment by Cyn on September 26, 2011 12:24 am

    Aww, thanks, Jew. I’ve been practicing my 900-number voice. Rawr.

    The “Hostages” retirement fund problem has been Solved…

  340. Comment by xbradtc on September 26, 2011 12:53 am

    Rosetta’s number?

    42

    *** Puts PaperBag on Head ***

    You gotta announce to the WholeWorld you got Rosetta’s number? IN. PUBLIC. Sheesh…

  341. Dear AttackWatch: Our Wakey-Wakeys are late this morning. Probably HungOver again. With a CrackPipe, on Woodward Avenue…

  342. Mornin’, kitteh!

    I was worried you’d been abducted by some drug cartel or hawt South American chick.

    Well, not so much “worried” on that second one.

  343. Getting it cleaned up and straightened out in here, eh, Sox? Good luck!

  344. Wakey wakey

    *kicks cat

    I was doing shit .

    Probably HungOver again.

    If only. That virtual glass of wine Hotspur sent me last night didn’t get it done.

    I’m on limited alcohol consumption until after the half marathon.

  345. Andy, Teh Cat is ALMOST as Aesthetically Challenged as DinT. Not much Danger of being CatNapped by a Hottie. CatNip Cartel MUCH more likely.

    Jay, been tryin’ for 3 years, ain’t made a dent in it…

    OUCH! Ms. Cari n, your CatAbuse needs Practice…Oh, Wait…

    Off to MouseHunt…

  346. Good morning. Salt mines! Yea!!!!!!!

  347. I overslept.

  348. I blame the rain and having fallen asleep on the couch until 3.

  349. Time for work.

  350. I’m hungover. I blame Mare. And drinking too much. But mostly Mare.

  351. Dangit Mare.

    I can’t believe she did that to you Jewstin.

    SUCh a whore.

  352. Dave races motorcycles?

  353. Hi Carin..

    How did the Prom go???

  354. Prom was fun. Son said he had a great time (but I didn’t notice any satisfied grin). He likes “dances” now.

  355. \o/

  356. Good Morning cool people.

  357. >> (dammit dammit dammit shut up shut up shut up… yer talking too much……….)

    Wiserbud? Talking a lot?

    How unlike him

  358. Comment by Sox on September 26, 2011 7:16 am

    Comment by Teresa in Fort Worth, TX on September 25, 2011 11:38 pm
    So……Wiserbride’s a beard?

    No, in line for Sainthood, with Ms. Rosetta, and Ms. Cathy…

    *HEAVY SIGH*

    I was aiming the original barb at WISER, not at the lovely Mrs. Wiser; having met the man, I can only imagine that the sainted woman wears a permanent halo –

    Subtle humor and innuendo are completely wasted on the lower mammalian species…… :P

  359. SYWM hotspur

  360. I think everyone should contact AttackWatch, and report the Tea Party for making incendiary comments this weekend:

    “You’ve got a governor whose state is on fire denying climate change,” he said, to applause. “It’s true. You’ve got audiences cheering at the prospect of somebody dying because they don’t have health care and booing a service member in Iraq because they’re gay.

    Oh wait, never mind, that was the President at a fundraiser.

  361. Toonces is getting desperate (and beclowing himself in the process) – the next 14 months are going to be……interesting.

  362. SYWM hotspur

    Hey, I was giving props.

    Grouch.

    *mutters*

  363. he’s such an asshole.

    *twitch

  364. I retract it then Hotpsur ;)

    I sincerely apologize that I inferred nefarious attributes in your comment.

  365. nefarious attributes in your comment

    Never

  366. I know. I’m ashamed of myself.

  367. This load of furniture is making my store smell bad.

    *makes curled-lip Monday bitch-face*

  368. gnu poat.


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