Assignment: HOSTAGE

There’s is far too much rambling chit-chat going on ’round these parts.  I think it’s time that you all have something to do with those thousands of free hours you all seem to have, as opposed to wasting them here trading beauty tips and recipes.  So here’s your new assignment.

Have you ever thought about what people would say about you at your funeral?  What would you like them to say?  Would you want them to be serious or to try and bring down the house with laughter?  Wouldn’t it be interesting to hear your own eulogy?

Actually, I don’t really care what you think here.  I personally think it would be hilarious to hear what we would say about someone else here if we were asked to speak at that person’s service.

So here’s my idea.   If you decide to play, we will put everyone’s name in a hat and assign everyone another Hostage’s eulogy to write.  No help is allowed from  the “dear departed” or their relatives.

At some point down the road, we will figure out how to present them all to each other.  I think it would be great if we could all get together and give our eulogies live and in person.  Second option would be to post them here as threads.  (Its not as if we post anything of any significance here anyway.

So, what do you think?  Good idea or really stupid and offensive?  Instead of actually creating some dumb-ass poll, just use the thumbs-up, thumbs-down function to cast your vote.

Meanwhile…. enjoy this video!!

302 Comments

  1. only if i can write pjmomma’s…

  2. Awesome idea! I’m in.

  3. I’ll play, but if it’s someone I don’t care for, *glares at Clint* I expect financial remuneration.

  4. A little weird, but yeah, I’m in.

  5. “Are you sure? Because her hangups and heavy breathing calls do count. This was just the first time we’ve actually SPOKEN.”

    No, I guess I’m not, as I get the occasional calls with just breathing, or ‘nothing’ there. I suppose it could be Car in.

    As to this post, as no-one has ever met me, other than Xbad & BiW, for an hour or two, it would have to be something like:
    “ChrisP lived for 62 years and then died.”
    fin.
    NYTOL

  6. Oh.

    We’re supposed to give the idea thumbs up or thumbs down.

    I actually read a poat for once! Well, I re-read it to see that. Oh hush up.

  7. only if i can write pjmomma’s…

    Yeah, I’m pretty sure everyone wants to write that one……

  8. Howdy Alice!

  9. See, this is what I get for putting so many words in this poat.

    I’ll be back in an hour when you are all done reading this.

  10. I was this —-><—– close to typing "tl;dr" but then I remembered I have five days left this week of kissing your ass, wiserbuns.

  11. hi cyn!

    pjmomma would be easy to write, anyone else and it’s gonna feel like homework. Which I have enough of right now. Stupid Systems Analysis class…

  12. but then I remembered I have five days left this week of kissing your ass, wiserbuns.

    Why come you’re the only one who ever remembers their week?

  13. Ummmm….

  14. PJ is pretty, um, prolific, non?

  15. somebody I know better git to bed.

    oh wait, that’s me.

    nytol!

  16. anyone else and it’s gonna feel like homework.

    imagine if you got xbrad……..

    “Xbrad is survived by his mother, his sister and his collection of inflatable farm animals.”

  17. Why come you’re the only one who ever remembers their week?

    Could it be your emails reminding me in the days leading up to my week that you send? Do you have those fuckers prescheduled or something? Well that and whole banning thing.

  18. Do you have those fuckers prescheduled or something?

    Thank you, Google reminders!

  19. Roasting our fellow Hostamages will be a kick in the pants.

    Can we know who’s doing them so we can pay them handsomely in advance?

  20. At least they’re not inflatable rafts…

    ummmmmm…. ew.

  21. Can we know who’s doing them so we can pay them handsomely in advance?

    Hmmmm…… I’m not sure if we should do that or not…..

  22. Nighty Sweet Dreams Dave!

  23. From the linky:

    A male witness, who owns the raft and lives in the home near the alley…

    HAHAHAHAHAHAHA!

  24. so alice, how long you been lurking here?

  25. Heh, Alice finds awesome links.

  26. Years and years. I even comment once in a while if there aren’t already 400 comments on a poat.

    You can blame tmi3rd for that raft story, btw. It’s his fault, the timing was just convenient.

  27. I even comment once in a while if there aren’t already 400 comments on a poat.

    Glad to have you here.

    Can’t wait to write your eulogy.

  28. Welcome back then! Did you used to have a different nic?

  29. Lurks for years, then pounces on a First!

    Well played, AliceH!

  30. Sean has been heard from. He left a msg on my phone.

    He took your advice and had his dad take him to the hospital, and they admitted him. He’s exhausted, and as I understood the msg, they gave him something to help him sleep. He’s doing relatively OK (physically, nothing some rest and fluids shouldn’t be able to solve) and sends his love to all of you. Please pray for him.

    I’m gonna give him a call late tomorrow morning to see how he’s doing.

  31. I have, in my possession, $3.27 American. I will pay the person assigned my eulogy that generous amount to say nice things about me.

  32. wow. I guess those toads are worse for you than we knew.

  33. aliceaitch = AliceH = Alice H

    I don’t think I ever posted anything even remotely noticeable, though. Except mebbe when..maybe it was Jewstin who swiped a picture I posted over at DPUD for your header.

  34. Thank you for the update Xbrad.

    Hang in there Sean!

  35. MCPO actually smells better now than when he did when he was alive..

    now pay up.

  36. Prayers for Sean. I can choose the music for MCPO since we had part of this conversation on Facechimp

  37. I have already written my eulogy for Wiserbud.

    Goodbye, Wiserbud.

    I think you said something funny once, but I forget what it was.

    Rest in peace.

  38. Yeah Sean, good to hear from you. Give that toad the what-for!

  39. Alice – I paid no attention to those things Alexthechick said about you. . . you are welcome here, but you’ll have to use the outhouse until someone cleans up after Dave.

  40. Alice!
    Good see you again

  41. I’m surprised Michael’s eulogy for Wiser doesn’t mention that he’ll take GOOD care of his daughter for him…

  42. I think I’ve met Alice.

    *scratches head*

  43. I have already written my eulogy for Wiserbud.

    See, I assumed most of us would go for witty or fun or interesting when writing these. But I see Micheal took it in a whole ‘nother direction.

    Interesting choice.

  44. Maybe I’m confusing Alice with Alex. Alex is a lawyer, right?

  45. michael, I’ve been to your house. Alex is a lawyer, yes.

  46. michael, I’ve been to your house.

    awwwwwwkwaaaard…….

  47. Alex is the lawyer. Alice was at your house.

  48. michael, I’ve been to your house.

    YES!

    I knew that I had met you.

    Sorry, I get women confused. You all have distracting curves on your body that makes it hard to remember faces.

  49. I saw Alice on HoeVision.

  50. only if i can write pjmomma’s…

    hey!

    Yeah, I’m pretty sure everyone wants to write that one……

    Hey!

    PJ is pretty, um, prolific, non?

    HEY!!

    what the heck, man? I’m not easy………well, I mean, um, I’m deep ok?

  51. well, I mean, um, I’m deep ok?

    Why yes you are, dear. Yes you are indeed.

    LOOK! A SHINY PENNY!!!

  52. I think I met Alex too. She was at one of the CT meetups. IIRC, it was the one at the river.

  53. well, I mean, um, I’m deep ok?

    LOW HANGING FRUIT ALERT!!!

  54. **must resist temptation…**

  55. I’m not easy

    Yes; yes you are. But I still love you. Even if I didn’t call you the next morning.

  56. LOW HANGING FRUIT ALERT!!!

    Nope, no way. That’s just not a subject I want to probe. Somebody else can plumb this for a cheap joke.

  57. awwwwwwkwaaaard…….

    bwahahaha hahahaha

  58. PJ got into Cyn’s pants the very first night she met her. Who’s easy now?

  59. That’s not how I like to tell the story Xbrad.

  60. **sits back**

    **pops open a cold one**

    Tell me a story, TigerCyn…

  61. That’s not how I like to tell the story Xbrad.

    There are different nuances to every story.

    Cyn’s version: Peej made me get into her pants.

    PJ’s version: Cyn got herself into my pants.

    The Pants version: Leave me alone!

  62. We will miss you dearly PJM. But what I will miss is how fast I let you get pants off of me

    I might need to rework that a bit.

  63. I don’t know, Cyn, it has a certain draw. An attention grabber, if you will.

  64. I for one just want to see how much weight Chaz Bono will lose on Dancing with the Stars

  65. Hmm, judging by the latest BarackObama.com email, they aren’t taking this latest development as a victory.

    Today I asked for a joint session of Congress where I will lay out a clear plan to get Americans back to work. Next week, I will deliver the details of the plan and call on lawmakers to pass it.

    Whether they will do the job they were elected to do is ultimately up to them.

    But both you and I can pressure them to do the right thing. We can send the message that the American people are playing by the rules and meeting their responsibilities — and it’s time for our leaders in Congress to meet theirs.

    And we must hold them accountable if they don’t.

    So I’m asking you to stand with me in calling on Congress to step up and take action on jobs:

    my.barackobama.com/Time-To-Act

    No matter how things go in the weeks and months ahead, this will be an important challenge for our organization.

    It’s been a long time since Congress was focused on what the American people need them to be focused on.

    I know that you’re frustrated by that. I am, too.

    That’s why I’m putting forward a set of bipartisan proposals to help grow the economy and create jobs — that means strengthening our small businesses, giving needed breaks to middle-class families, while taking responsible steps to bring down our deficit.

    I’m asking lawmakers to look past short-term politics and take action on that plan. But we’ve got to do this together.

    I will deliver this message to Congress next week, but I’m asking you to stand alongside me today:

    my.barackobama.com/Time-To-Act

    More to come,

    Barack

    Yes, it has been a long time since Congress was focused on jobs…

    Now, will the GOP jump down his throat? We shall see.

  66. HAHA! I do seem to recall some grabbing alright.

  67. That’s why I’m putting forward a set of bipartisan proposals …….

    Smartest Man in teh World™

  68. Goodnight, all y’all.

  69. I refuse to click on his link, J’Ames, but let me guess….

    You can donate money at the Time-to-Act link, amirite?

  70. Sweet Dreams MCPO.

    (Pst…I might be interested in your couch cushion money)

  71. Wha? Anyone want to take bets on how long totally out of shape Chaz will last on DWTS?

    come on! You know you want to!

  72. I don’t click Ogambi’s links either; I dont’ even like to click WH ones now.

  73. I will deliver this message to Congress next week, but I’m asking you to stand alongside me today

    In other words, you should support him right now without a clue as to what he is going to propose, never mind that his policies to date have been a disaster.

    The mindless narcissism of this person just keeps amazing me.

  74. Anyone want to take bets on how long totally out of shape Chaz will last on DWTS?

    could not care less about any of the nouns in that sentence.

  75. In other words, you should support him right now without a clue as to what he is going to propose, never mind that his policies to date have been a disaster.

    Hey…. it’s worked for him so many times before….

  76. I’d like to write a eulogy on his presidency.

  77. late. tired. gotta sleep.

    please remember to vote….

    nitey nite….

  78. You can donate money at the Time-to-Act link, amirite?

    Yeah right, like I’m gonna click THAT! (better go fix it)

  79. Sweet Dreams wiserbuns.

  80. could not care less about any of the nouns in that sentence.

    what about the verb?

  81. I like the verb but only when I see nice HHD pics.

  82. **tackles PJ**

    **gives her the “past participle”**

  83. Okay, having once more beaten InFamous, I’m now finally ready to start InFamous 2. Of course, I should have been in bed 2 hours ago, but that’s not really important.

  84. Way to go Leon!!

    Now get your pretty ass to bed. O-dark-thirty comes early.

    And Sweet Dreams.

  85. *tackles b-rad

    *calls him a couple adjectives

  86. Actually going to bed now. Y’all have a good one.

    Cyn is extra good. She can have a good two.

  87. **slips loose**

    **tackles PJ again**

    **gives her “Conjunction Junction”**

    And, Butt and Or…

  88. That bitch!

  89. She’s like Barbie. She gets everything!

  90. I am a Winnah!!!

  91. *completely ignores PJ, flips hair back and poses with hands on hips Barbie style*

  92. She’s like Barbie. She gets everything!

    Ah, my favorite song.

    http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=rrdtXxzhBWA

  93. What I love about that video is the creative use of electrical tape.

    Plus, the guy in back is a comic genius.

  94. Hah, I hadn’t clicked on it because I thought it was the original song……then you mentioned electrical tape and I felt I should get to clickin

    that one’s one of my favorites too

  95. I think it’d be good to have Wiserbud do KKA’s eulogy, Michael do bart’s

    and any one of the hostages can do Folly. It’ll be great.

    actually reverse that. maybe we can have KKA come on and do a guest appearance to do wiserbud’s eulogy and so on……..

  96. Wha? Did my assignment idea kill it?

  97. Kill… eulogy… bwahahahahahaha!

  98. OH………..MY………..GAWD!! Get me out of this state!

    http://www.theunion.com/ARTICLE/20110830/BREAKINGNEWS/110839991/-1/RSS

  99. I’ll do PJ’s eulogy.

    Goodbye, Pajama Mama.

    You were deep. Really deep.

    I mean, damn!

    Rest in peace.

  100. awwwwwww, tell me another bed time story, Michael!

  101. California is coming apart at the seams. Had some close-up exposure to state government and politics years ago when SBC was acquiring PacTel — it is totally dysfunctional. The Golden State is so blessed with natural and human resources, and they can’t stop wrecking it. I don’t really have any hope for them. It’s gonna have to collapse before it gets better.

  102. Companies actually locate offices in places like Reno to service California clients. They absorb the cost of commuter flights just to avoid being subject to California’s jurisdiction.

  103. I remember dealing with a California labor lawyer I had retained to help us out with local issues arising from our office their. His basic advice was, “stay out of this state as much as possible.”

  104. Don’t get me started on California’s corporate taxes. Suffice it to say that California gives employers a lot of reasons to stay away.

  105. when/if pjd gets hired by at&t, it’ll give us the opportunity to (down the roard) relocate to another state

  106. Any particular state you’d like to choose this time, PJ?

    Arkansas?

    North Dakota?

    Delaware?

  107. I think Alaska’d be awful fun. I haven’t done anything like that yet.

  108. You’re nuts.

  109. Well, I mean, we knew that.

    But you’ll also freeze your nuts off!

  110. Bleah. I hate waking up early. Ate breakfast, fixed the kids’ lunches, and it’s still an hour before anyone else gets up.

  111. Ugh. God early morning. grumble grumble….

    I was counting my blessings last night and one of them was that I got to live in California from ’85 to ’05. It really was the Golden State back in the day.

  112. I mean Good early morning.

  113. I’ve been to northern Cali once. Drove from Lake Tahoe to Placerville and back. Fucking Gorgeous.

    I’ve been to southern Cali once. Third World Shithole. To me, LA has all the charm of El Paso with ten times the population. El Paso ties with Beaumont/Port Arthur for last metropolitan area I’d want to live in with Texas.

  114. with = within

  115. Yosemite is beautiful. I was driving northeast out of San Diego and was surprised at how quickly the landscape turned brown.

  116. Good news: my nephew is on his way home from A’stan for his mid-tour leave.

  117. My weedwhacker string cassettes came yesterday, so now I have no excuse but to spend a large portion of my evening whacking.

  118. Good to hear, roamy!

    I want to see California, at least once. I mean, before it goes away.

  119. Too late, James. Grats on the nephew coming home, Roamy.

  120. wakey wakey

  121. It also means my other nephew has probably been home and gone back already. That turkey needs to figure out email.

  122. Oh, man, I hope Sean is going to be okay. Besides the alcohol, I hope the poor man can get some sleep. Real sleep. He needs all the good thoughts we can muster.

  123. Textsfromlastnight that remind me of Hostages.

    Dave?
    i jsut waqnnna hugg thw crap outa sokme peoplee

    Brewfan?
    Might just stay in and drink cuz of the hurricane. Yea I think Wisconsin might be safe but its a good reason to drink.

    Mare?
    haha she has always seemed a little off. when i met her i was told she was the queen slut. and she had a crown on at the time. it seemed appropriate.

    Wiser?
    Cause your way of greeting people at the club was grabbing a tit and jiggling it while yelling a name, which usually wasn’t theirs, and guys weren’t safe either.

  124. I want to see California, at least once.
    ——————————–
    I worked in LA for a month. Maybe it was because I was younger and more cynical, but it seemed like every stereotype was pretty much true.

  125. Thanks so much for the update xbrad. I worried about sean all day.

  126. If you don’t call me at 10:30 am EST, I’ll vote for Obama.

  127. I ain’t calling.

  128. hahahahahha. Bluff called.

  129. LA will suck your soul out.

    Too much “therapy” in CA, way too much, promotes the “victim” “feeling.”

    Very concerned about the outside but they are shallow, pathetic people on the inside. Just watched my first (and last) episode of Keeping up with the Kardashians. All my beliefs about CA people were confirmed.

    We need to have a thread about the Kardashians because that show demonstrates an enormous amount of what’s wrong with this country.

    We (my husband and I) have lots of family there and they have been ruined by the culture there.

  130. I ain’t watching that show either.

    I tried watching a bit of that Jersey Shore show, but I started cutting myself and had to stop.

  131. “I was younger and more cynical, ”

    Most people are more cynical as they get older.

    MJ bucks the trend.

  132. I’ve never seen Jersey Shore, but based on the skanks and losers I see in the news, it can’t be good for the country.

  133. I lived in a laid-back little beach town, nicknamed Mayberry by the Sea. It was glorious while it lasted.

  134. Yea, it’s horrible. I watched it (or tried) because it is apparently the most popular show with kids out there. My kids say that everyone watches it.

    I weep for our fellow Americans.

    Honestly, my son tried to tell me that kids watch it ironically – to make fun of them. BUt I don’t believe that. You can’t watch that shit every week just to make fun of them. It would get boring.

  135. Spray cheese in a can will likely be one of history’s greatest inventions.

  136. Looks like a motorbikin’ day. 92 and sunny, low wind. Gonna be nice.

  137. Having breakfast, Dave?

  138. Kardashians are every bit as bad as what you describe….maybe worse.

    Before I knew how serious Sean’s situation was, starting yesterday I was going to stop drinking for a few weeks in solidarity. A small gesture but I figured reading this blog sober was a sacrifice.
    Right? Hang in there Sean.

  139. mmmmm… spray cheese

  140. You should link that picture when you get it. I’m going to wear a SCOAMF t-shirt for the 10K.

  141. It will be fine. We grew up watching perverted twisted TV like The Dick Van Dyke Show, Andy Griffith and Leave It To Beaver and we turned out OK.

  142. Partridge Family and their hippie bus…

  143. I forgot about that whore Mary Tyler Moore.

  144. That Girl — all living on her own and skanking around with Donald.

  145. If I remember correctly Rob and Laura Petry had separate beds.

  146. Separate beds was a network censor thing. I Love Lucy same thing.

    The rule was you could have one bed, if one of the two married people kept one foot on the floor.

    Not sure why that made it better, but censors were odd people.

  147. The Mary Tyler Moore show as my absolute favorite.

    (skank)

  148. A close second, The Bob Newhart Show.

  149. ^I forgot to add:

    (an obvious meth addict)

  150. Oh yeah. Who hasn’t played “HI BOB!” *drink!*

  151. I’m late to the party, but throw my name in the hat too.

  152. Oh, and IIRC, if the couple was married in real life, they could share a bed (Ozzie and Harriet, Lucy and Ricky). Otherwise it was twin beds.

  153. Would All in the Family get air time now?

  154. The war has begun (opening day of dove season). Lots of shootin goin on out there

  155. If given the chance a dove would kill you and everyone you care about.

  156. Would All in the Family get air time now?

    A politically correct Archie Bunker. **head explodes

  157. You can’t show mercy to dove.

  158. POS doves!

  159. I’m pretty sure I’ve seen every episode of All in the Family. It was between 10 and 11 while I was in HS. No way that show gets on tv.

    I don’t watch much tv, but have you noticed that men are no longer important to the family?

  160. I don’t watch much tv, but have you noticed that men are no longer important to the family?

    Watch the Kardashian’s (a “real” family) and you will be saddened to see a stud Olympic Gold medalist be reduced to a dumb, abused, unaware pussy.

  161. Mulberry ice cream is delicious. A small independent ice cream shop just opened near us. I will be supporting them by buying lots of mulberry. Nom.

  162. Good morning peeps.

  163. Good morning Cynner.

  164. You should link that picture when you get it. I’m going to wear a SCOAMF t-shirt for the 10K.M.

    That sounds fantastic. Are you going to make it? I could wear one for my half marathon. I’ll probably need a long sleeve one.

  165. Morning, everybody!

    Later, everybody!

  166. Of course, I’ll be running in Detroit. I could be shot.

    it would have to be subtle. Not weasel’s shirt with the Obama logo.

  167. Off to work out. Hour and a half….sweatfest.

    You all have a good day.

  168. Morning Lovlies.

  169. Hello Marer’r!

    I don’t even know what that means.

  170. SOYLNDRA GREEN IS PEOPLE.

    Ba ha haaa haaa …

    Green Jobs. Obama supporter as major investor. $535 million in federal money. 1,100 jobs LOST.

    The only thing to make this “better” would have been if the bankruptcy was announced on the day of his jobs speech.

    SCOAMF.

  171. Anyone keeping track of how many of these green companies ,propped up with government money , that have gone under?

  172. This is a great idea! wiserspud and I actually agree for once. Another sign that the Mayan’s were right and we’re all fucked in just over a year. Writing each other’s eulogies will be fun, though we’re all either going to die or be raptured, so no one’s going to be left to read them. I’m in. No, really I am. What do you mean you can’t feel anything?

  173. Anyone keeping track of how many of these green companies ,propped up with government money , that have gone under?

    No, but there are one helluva lot of these government (tax payer) subsidized windmills around here that are pretty much only good for powering the blinking lights on top of them and killing geese.

  174. I think I met Alex too. She was at one of the CT meetups. IIRC, it was the one at the river.

    Yes, she was there too. (So was I, haha!) Laura was nice enough to have a hobo show up for us to hunt.

  175. Would All in the Family get air time now?

    Maybe….House gets airtime, after all. And even then, they weren’t holding Archie up as a paragon of virtue.

  176. aybe….House gets airtime, after all. And even then, they weren’t holding Archie up as a paragon of virtue.

    No, BUT (someone correct me if i’m wrong because it’s been a long time) Archie was a “conservative” who never the less was a good person at his core, and was able to provided for his family. Meathead was sort of a loser, who couldn’t.

  177. Sorry that I missed the “lesson” but what does SCOAMF mean?

  178. Stuttering Clusterfuck of a Miserable Failure = SCoaMF. Started over at Ace’s.

  179. Morning School Rush Time. BBL.

  180. Check Yo Email Car in.

  181. answered MJ

  182. Eulogy 1 (Wiserbud) –

    “He’s dead now. So sad. He died like a man too… except for all the crying and begging, but like a man nonetheless. Who knew death by anal gland exposure to toxic plastics was a thing.. .I mean, really?”

    Eulogy 2 (Cyn) –

    “Well, that was embarrassing. She kept on feeding me the Viagra saying she could take it…”

    Eulogy 3 (CBird) –

    “cocaine is a helluva drug.”

    Eulogy 4 (J’Ames) –

    “………………”
    *marching band enters*
    *plays “Tusk” by Fleetwood Mac*
    *lunch is served*

    Eulogy 5 (Car in) –

    “The police report said she ran down the hobo and beat him senseless with her shoe, we all know that to be an untruth. I mean, come on, Car in? Running?”

  183. Morning report on Henry from Rosetta:

    Morning. His pain is MUCH better but his bowels are on strike like lazy union thugs. He just had a suppository so we’re waiting for poo. BRING THE POO!

  184. Thanks for the update, Andy.

  185. Thanks, Cyn.

  186. Dayum I missed the TeeVee shows
    Flying Nun

    For it to work today
    SF would have to be a Cougar,
    Surrounded by Gay Priests that roll their eyes at religion,
    Forgot to mention making Pedo’s sympathetic
    /stereotype off

  187. Tusk was fun in concert. Just sayin.

  188. You talking about Fleetwood Mac, JiA?

  189. *scrolls up*

    Why yes. Yes you were.

    I used to hear that Stevie Nicks couldn’t wear Odor Eaters™ because they kept sneaking up the backs of her legs to her cratch.

  190. I got out of bed for this?

  191. Guess I wasn’t sitting close enough to the stage to experience that particular part of the show, compos.

  192. My dog just sneezed hot mist on my knee, twice. What a disgusting sensation.

  193. **taps foot impatiently**

    Can haz funneh?

  194. My (fixed) dog has spent the last week furiously humping Zelda. She is bemused by the entire thing, and in her friskier moments tries to mount him.

  195. Ok. I’m in.

    Whoever gets me has an easy one. 4 words, baby. 4 words.

  196. BRING THE POO!

    Get that boy a temporary job in the WH press corpse.

    Those people bring more poo per apparance than anyone else I know.

  197. Zelda’s a slut.

  198. A small gesture but I figured reading this blog sober was a sacrifice.

    Pffffffft.

    Talk to me when you comment on it sober, sister.

  199. http://achewood.com/index.php?date=07092004

  200. ***BREAKING***

    We have poop. WE HAVE POOP!

    Great job, Henry.

  201. *APPLAUSE!!*

  202. The H2″ Getting frothy over poo since March 2009

  203. Time to pack up and hit the road.

  204. Yeah, this isn’t one of those moments for scrapbooking.

  205. Make sure its evenly distributed.

    I hear the road is pretty hard. Bruises are better than broken bones.

  206. Yeah, this isn’t one of those moments for scrapbooking.

    lauraw wins “Most vibrant mental picture” award for today.

  207. Hold on … Imma give you something to scrapbook …

  208. heh, is it going to be in a flaming bag on the doorstep?

  209. Poopmeister Henry earned that contented look on his face:

  210. I took a good poop this morning, too.

    But did anyone take my post-pooping picture?

    Nope.

    You bastards.

  211. I took a good poop this morning, too.

    We’ve seen you comment here for years. So it’s really not a special event when you do it.

  212. **shits in Wiser’s coffee cup**

  213. **shits in Wiser’s coffee cup**

    Awwwwwww, someone put an Obama in my cup…..

  214. Hah! Henry has hair like a TV news anchor. But he’s not going to be a TV news anchor.

    He’s going to be a famous male model football star astrophysicist. That’s going to be a very high-demand field when he gets older.

  215. He does have beautiful hair. Dare I say better than Blago, or even Rick Perry.

  216. ♫The best, part, of waking up, is Obama in your cup!♫

  217. HAHAHAHA!

    Booooo Jay, booooo!

  218. Ok, running shirts ordered. One for me, one for Car in. This way all of the pictures of us crossing various finish lines will show the SCOAMF.

    http://is.gd/rjJJj1

  219. That’s awesome MJ. And the double ‘N’ is a nice touch too.

  220. *checks in…reads thread*

    Poo, huh…

    *sniffs air*

    Later, guys. Woohoo on the poo, Henry!

  221. You can’t boo after you laugh, Cyn. It’s in the rules.

    Ask Dave.

  222. That’s awesome MJ. And the double ‘N’ is a nice touch too.

    Ha ha haa … that’s going to awesome.

    MJ and I are building up the MORON running team.

    Here’s me at the finish of the Crim. as I said it’s not that flattering, but I think you can tell I’m pretty happy. That was a FUN race and I honestly had such a great time.

  223. MJ and I are building up the MORON running team.
    ————————
    We are the MORON RUNN team.

  224. Great picture. You should be very proud of yourself. 10 miles is no bullshit.

  225. LOL. Well, that’s the official name. I was describing it.

    We should really get that whore mare to join.

  226. I’m debating whether or not to take off one more day from running before I restart the training. I’ve been biking/nordic traking it all week.

    I would run today, but it’s HOT now.

    And, my foot is just a stillbit sore still.

    As long as I push it on the nordic trak I should be ok.

  227. I’m guessing that she’s out setting up all of those slutwalk events. Slut.

  228. I had to look down in the picture because the last quarter mile was on uneven bricks. Had to watch my step. I wonder how many turn their ankle right there at the end?

    That would suck.

  229. That seems unnecessary. The cross country run that I did ended by sliding down a hill, then running through a small stream, then up the hill. It was stupid and dangerous.

    It was called Run Thru Hell, so I guess I should have known.

  230. I LOVE stupid and dangerous.

    I really want to do that Warrior Dash next year. Two people died (heat related, which could have happened anywhere). But it seems like so much fun.

    My husband isn’t really sold on the idea of me doing it. THey are all over the country – the one in Florida in in Jan I think.

  231. Great pic of cutie Carin!

    Needs a shot of the belly ring.

  232. Yeah, its in January. I wasn’t going to do it, but I’m in decent enough shape that I can now. I start with a personal trainer after the 10K. I’m hoping to do a few sprint triathlons in a few months too. The swim worries me a bit.

  233. Carin you can totally tell that you had a blast. Excellent picture 😀

  234. Looking good, Car in. I look more tired if I drive 10 miles. Nice Job!

  235. Car in violated the H2 no nip rule.

    I see nip. And I’m damned impressed.

  236. Which is not to say that the rest of you have to STFU.

  237. Car in violated the H2 no nip rule.

    I think that’s a silly rule.

    *flashes nips in solidarity with Carin*

    No Nips, No Peace!!

  238. *glances around sleepy poat*

  239. >> Ask Dave.

    Those are in fact, the rules.

    who’s the hot chick in the race?

  240. Rules Schmooles.
    And SHHHHH! *whispers* The poat is sleeping!!11!

  241. AWWW! We got rained on for 5 holes, but finished the round!

    http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=GN5cvrDtv3M

  242. Really? Kilt by the blues? You peeples suck!

  243. I have to stand by and take it babe, all for loving you. . .

    http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Kv3RWqFlvJs

  244. Only MCPO could kill a eulogy post.

  245. *keeps nips to self to avoid unnecessarily blinding Hostages*

  246. Only MCPO could kill a eulogy post.

    No. I’m pretty sure Brad could do it too.

  247. Nice Allman Brothers pick, MCPO.

  248. *gives Romy a Space Pen, asks for autograph*

  249. Thank you, Miss Roamy!

  250. **stabs poat**

    HowimI doin’?

  251. it’s only 106 here, thankfully.

  252. Brad, tell it a joke.

  253. And it is almost 70 here.

    Hellish. Hellish, I say.

  254. Brad – 76 here. . .

  255. Q: Why did BiW fuck the chicken?

    A: To get to the other side of the road.

  256. Great picture of Henry AND Carin.

    Well done, to both!

  257. And yes, yes I did download Car in’s spandex clad pic into my “special” folder.

  258. Q: Why did BiW fuck the chicken?

    Bitch never called me back, either.

  259. xbrad, I tried to email you, however, it was returned. Do you have an update on Sean?

  260. “Bitch never called me back, either.”

    hahahahahahaha

  261. MARE!!!!!!!

  262. MARE???????

  263. Mare, I’ll shoot you an email from my valid email addy.

    But no, I tried to call him earlier and didn’t get him. Of course, he’s trying to rest up, so I dont wanna bug him all the time either.

    I gave Cyn his number, since she has a sexier voice. Really, I mean, who would YOU rather talk to?

  264. Good point.

    Thank you.

    MCPO, did you golf today. And if so, did you mostly slice, hook or wiff?

  265. I gave Cyn his number, since she has a sexier voice. Really, I mean, who would YOU rather talk to?

    Well, Shakira comes to mind.

    Hips don’t lie.

  266. Someone stole my question mark?

    Michael?

  267. Oh, found it.

  268. Question marks are racist.

  269. Mare – I did play all 18. . . in the rain. Ended up fighting a hook off the tee most of the day, but scrambled my way to an 82.

  270. Michael – May I ask what you think of Eric Holder’s actions re: the AT&T/T-Mobile merger?

  271. Shakira’s Pepsi commercial may well have been the sexiest thing ever on television.

  272. 82? Wow.

  273. When did it become fashionable for fat people to wear skin tight clothes?

  274. When did it become acceptable for Scott to question my fashion sense?

  275. hahahahahaha

  276. Mare – My chipping and putting are pretty solid.

  277. I couldn’t shoot an 82 with a toe wedge and an eraser.

  278. When I get my time machine I am going to be very busy.

  279. Scott – You gonna kill all of the fat people?

  280. I couldn’t shoot an 82 with a toe wedge and an eraser.

    Before I quit playing golf, I shot in the low 80s numerous times.

    Didn’t do as well on the back-nine, however.

  281. Really, I mean, who would YOU rather talk to?

    Not that damn chicken, that’s for sure.

  282. Wiser – Here is the difference. . . You are still working and raising a family. I raised my family and golf is my “work”.

  283. Wait for it

    http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=quwebVjAEJA

  284. Heh. Like me and a bag of Cheetos.

  285. Wait for it

    RUN AWAY!!!!

  286. I raised my family and golf is my “work”.

    Then explain my younger brother and his 3 handicap.

    (I will. He is the head greenskeeper at a course in NC. Best golfer I know, worst temper about it I’ve ever seen. Actually saw him use his golf bag as a punching bag after he screwed up a hole.)

  287. I’ll see you turds later.

    If I hear from Sean, I’ll let you know.

  288. No MCPO, just the person who invented plus size spandex.

    Anything over size small should be illegal.

  289. Anything over size small should be illegal.

    And what makes you think these women of which you speak wouldn’t wear size small spandex?

  290. Anything over size small should be illegal.

    Huh? Wha?

    http://fwd4.me/0ATI

  291. Give me another ball.

  292. I was in Rhode Island today. Irene screwed them up pretty bad.

    One lady called in to a talk radio show and said a crew working her street yesterday hooked up her neighbor. She was next!

    The whole family came out to watch the wonderful moment. Workers explained to the family that they stop working at 5:00, union rules, and then drove off.

    They are still out today, nobody came back.

    Full scale rage is setting in.

  293. Knock it on, Andy.

  294. http://fwd4.me/0ATI

    Just. no.

  295. Workers explained to the family that they stop working at 5:00, union rules, and then drove off.

    They are still out today, nobody came back.

    Full scale rage is setting in.

    Well, they can’t possibly work two days in a row. Union rules, and all that.

  296. They are still out today, nobody came back.

    That’s as screwed up as a soup sandwich!

  297. That’s pretty surprising. They’ve been working like mofos around here.

    I went over to my controller’s house last night to cut up a treetop that fell in her yard and passed an NSTAR crew still working at about 8pm.

  298. It’s Rhode Island. You either have to be related to someone or slip them a Benjamin to get anything done.

  299. NEW, FABULOUS, MARVELOUS POAT UP!!


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