I saw this video and thought Firefly would be an excellent theme for today.
Love that smile.
A little Alan Tudyk.
Shaun Sean Maher
Okay, one more Adam Baldwin.
Thank you for your attention, and y’all have a good day.
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This is considerably less ghey than most HHD poats. Maybe it’s the Firefly.
Looks like Debbie got in over her head:
RealClearPolitics: Debbie Wasserman Schultz Attacks Allen West On Floor; West Responds
No such thing as a ‘little ghey’ (see:wiser)
That whore mare is still in the old thread.
Well done Roamy
Yeah, you pimps left me back there!
Roamy, this HHD is absolutely an A+!!
That ‘whore mare’ is still in the old thread.
juxtaposed….
more hare. Coincidence?
Dave should link us at Ace’s today…we look much less gay then usual.
Has anyone popped GMLand in the private area today? Someone get on that!
Mare. Did you get my flier? Tell me you got my flier!
I did get your flier…
http://tinyurl.com/3e7wjpd
Don’t ask me why.
He is in pre-op now. I will post more later.
Ooooh, Roamy – now we know why your boss sent you home early….
You clever girl, you – using a heart condition to cover up the palpitations you were getting while putting this poat together.
Well done, young lady, well done indeed!
Did I mention I’m eating bacon right now? Is there anything better than bacon and Firefly hunks?
I think not.
This is me trying to put together an HHD….
http://tinyurl.com/4xwtz6w
Prayers going up, Sohita – are they going to be able to do it laparoscopically?
Yes, three little incisions and about 20 minutes
“Yes, three little incisions and about 20 minutes”
That seems to be really good news.
Prayers for a quick recovery.
How do you clear your cookies on a mac?
Oh, wait, that’s what Google is for.
Thank yall so much
I’m off to the hospital. I will post more later.
I wanna make a pre-op/post-op tranny joke, but let’s face it, I’m not funny.
Just back on my very limited wifi and read about Count.
Praying big time, Sohos.
Great HHD, Roamy. Thanks and smooches.
In the Rocky Mountains for three days and loving the cool fresh air and scenery. Will chEck in now and then…
Hugs everyone.
Bunk!
Well done, Roamy.
“In the Rocky Mountains for three days and loving the cool fresh air and scenery. ”
Sounds wonderful, Cathy.
loving the cool fresh air
I see these words, but they don’t make any sense.
Thanks for the updates Sohos. Sounds like decent news that they were able to wait the surgery until morning. Good vibe headed your way.
I hope that Count remembers to tell them not to fuck up. Surgeons and doctors like that little pep talk right before surgery.
How do you clear cokkies on a mac?
With a spatula?
“In the Rocky Mountains for three days and loving the cool fresh air and scenery. ”
I have two words for you,Cathy – White water rafting and go-carts!
I’ll do the appendectomy for half what the doctors are charging.
I’ll loan you the tools, xbrad. My old man’s a television repairman, he’s got this ultimate set of tools…
I’ve got a spoon, Compos, what else do I really need?
(True fact, an American POW held by the Japanese actually DID perform an appendectomy with a couple of spoons during WWII)
Maybe a hammer, you know, for anesthesia.
Speaking of putting people to sleep, where’d mare go?
*takes off pants and hides behind large ficus until everyone comes back*
Mare’s trying to sweet talk the prosecuting attorney.
She should be back in 3 to 5 years.
Spoon!
404, Cyn.
Saw that.
F5, Xbrad.
Still not gonna watch it.
Did you see the video that came up after, Cyn?
hahaha *baaarrrffff* eheheheheh!
Speaking of being as full as a tick, it’s lunchtime! bbl you munches of butt.
I did see that Compos. HAHA! Ewwww!
And let that be a warning to Pupster to always wear a tick collar.
Buenas días, tontorrones!
Good morning, MCPO.
VAQ-141 skipper relieved.
No band.
xBrad – Shit happens. Flight incident or frigging in the rigging?
Alcohol related incident in Manamamamamamamamma, Bahrain. No other details.
Also, poor Pupster!
http://tinyurl.com/3rsermx
Sohos?
http://tinyurl.com/42ojcdf
Sohos?
http://tinyurl.com/42ojcdf
Mmmmmmmmmm, stockings.
xBrad – Booze + Bahrain = frigging the rigging.
Conversely:
Bahrain + Booze = Cover-up of somebody’s drunken fuck-up.
So it appears this blog has some nominal value:
My garage door opener hasn’t been working since we had a lightning strike close to the house. I repositioned the sensors—-and the button thing worked.
Outside keypad and car remotes no workee. Today, I finally got on a ladder to look at it, decided to unplug it and plug it back in. Now everything works.
Weird.
See there. “Try plugging it in” is a serious troubleshooting step.
And you thought Hotspur was full of shit when he says “Did you try plugging it in?”
Shame on you, MJ. Apologize to Hotspur.
He is out of surgery. Nurse is going on and on about him being a smoker…I haven’t talked to him yet but Nurse said it went well
Sohos, did you tell her to STFU? Why not?
Good news, sohos!
Did he light up in front of her? Hehe.
Be sure to check him for boobs.
I’m with him now but he is out. He coughed and cussed a blue streak. Scared the boy nurse I think
SoHoS – Please give my very best to Count when he is lucid again.
Glad to hear Count is hanging in there.
Best Wishes for a speedy recovery!
A male nurse? Did you call him Focker?
Boy nurse…heh.
Glad to hear he’s out of surgery.
Give him a pack of Lucky Strikes for me…they’re doctor recommended!
Give him a handy, Sohos. That will make him feel better.
In defense of boy nurses – in my experienced (except in Labor and delivery) they are superior. More attentive, caring. NICER.
Just saying.
Hugs, Sohos! Hang in there. Poor Count. Do they have him on any fun drugs?
Sohos, tell Count I said feel better.
Also, swipe me a couple of quaaludes while you’re there.
Give him a handy, Sohos. That will make him feel better.
– – – – –
This.
HAHAHA! Cyn ♥’s H2 Morons FTW!
Glad to hear Count is ok.
He is on Dalotted(sp) and the male nurse (John) is so wonderful
Oh, praise the lord!
THE TEA ADS ARE BACK!
All is right in the world, again.
” More attentive, caring. NICER.”
My experience too.
So glad to hear Count is awake and swearing! Good sign.
Coughing hurts his boo boo…kiss it, Sohos, kiss it! It doesn’t matter what “it” is!
Dilaudid®
Ok, I just found the younger brother of my childhood friend (I believe what I’m doing is called “creeping” my the kids – GET OFF OF MY LAWN) anyway – he lists hisself as “very liberal”, interests “men” (nttawwt) and favorite quote:
“The modern conservative is engaged in one of man’s oldest exercises in moral philosophy; that is, the search for a superior moral justification for selfishness.”
–John Kenneth Galbraith
resisting urge … must not … bad girl …
Go on, Car in, give him a spanking. You know you want to.
“must not”
Why not?
Tell him to go fuck himself, Carin.
I see no, NO, No reasone to ever again be civil around and to these fucking libtards.
reason even.
Stupid ghosty looking comment thingee.
Also ask the little parasite when he’g gonna move out of his mom’s basement.
Just re-found one of my favorite comics.
http://achewood.com/index.php?date=06262007
he’s even.
Stupid ghosty comment thingee!!!
Give him a handy, Sohos. That will make him feel better.
Just be sure he’s awake and aware that you are doing that – otherwise, you won’t get credit for it –
(Conversely, you can just TELL him you gave him one, but since he can’t remember it, he must have still been under the influence of painkillers at the time…..)
“The modern conservative is engaged in one of man’s oldest exercises in moral philosophy; that is, the search for a superior moral justification for selfishness.”
———————————————-
The modern liberal is engaged in one of man’s oldest exercises in moral philosophy; that is, the search for old quotes on Google in order to feel intellectually superior.
—Stuff MJ said, vol II
Do you have an RSS feed, MJ? I need these tidbits of inspiration, every once in a while.
I just looked up ‘RSS Feed’. I still don’t get it.
I can’t really keep up with the blog thing, let alone twitfacedouche, or anything else. I don’t even have a facebook page.
Just a geekier way of saying “Do you have a newsletter?” MJ. Sorry bout that!
“I see no, NO, No reasone to ever again be civil around and to these fucking libtards.”
I agree with Clint! We’ve been so civil we’ve allowed them to ruin the Country.
Don’t liberals just use superiority to justify their selfish immorality?
Oh. My bad. I’m a total douche for not getting the obvious.
I just got back from the gym and can’t really think straight.
By the way, you do have an RSS feed. Bottom of your blog page, link is Entries RSS.
Don’t liberals just use superiority to justify their selfish immorality?
Nicely done, TiFW, and true too!
I just got back from the gym and can’t really think straight.
The moral is obviously ‘Never go to the gym.’
Nicely done, TiFW, and true too!
Didn’t Alinsky say to “use their own words against them”?
Sauce for the goose, Saul…..
Jewstin, I should like to subscribe to your newsletter…..
I have a bit of a home gym and refuse to leave the house except to get soft-serve ice cream.
Poor Steny – he doesn’t understand this is a FEATURE, not a bug:
http://weaselzippers.us/2011/07/20/senior-dem-rep-steny-hoyer-horrified-balanced-budget-amendment-would-make-it-virtually-impossible-to-raise-taxes/
The modern liberal is engaged in one of man’s oldest exercises in moral philosophy; that is, to be f*cking lazy parasites that are shitstains on humanity.
Afternoon, you pack of drunken bastards.
WORK GIVES ME DIARRHEA!!
‘Afternoon, you pack of drunken bastards.”
I wish.
Mare, are you an empty nester?
Yes I am Hotspur.
I will be an empty nester in 4 weeks.
*boo boo lip*
Big ((((((HUG))))) to Beasn!
I often get Mare and Beasn mixed up. Which of the two of you is this?
Oh, that’s mare. She’s the whore…or so I’m told.
I’d pay money to see Olbermann interview West.
This is cute in an almost yucky way.
http://cuteoverload.com/2011/07/20/co-come-for-the-commodey/
Olberman is just mad that he was born with no nuttage.
Look what Slublog made for me!
Awesome.
Psssst…..We hit the Debt Ceiling on May 16th…..
Olby calling someone terrified is like…
*boo boo lip*
I loooove that. Never heard that before. Is that new?
*+5,864,736,903 points for awesomely descriptive phrase of the day*
Look what Slublog made for me!
He is the master! That IS awesome Laura!
All bow to the SluShops!
ZOMG!!! Best evar!!!!11!!11!!1!1
I mean this ONLY in the most brotherly of ways, but as it’s hotter than Billy Blue Blazes here, how many of your H2 wimments wanna go skinny dipping w/me down at the creek?
My back to the wall
A victim of laughing chance. . .
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=GZr3u69Xy7s
how many of your H2 wimments wanna go skinny dipping w/me down at the creek?
http://tinyurl.com/42ry6ju
*+5,864,736,903 points for awesomely descriptive phrase of the day*
YAY!! Can I turn those in like Green Stamps?
I KNEW I should’ve done a few more situps.
You’ve never heard the phrase “boo-boo lip”? My God, woman – have you been living in a cave? 🙂
I KNEW I should’ve done a few more situps.
Not speaking for other H2 wimmens, but I NEED to do a situp or hundreds. That, and I haven’t recharged my taser yet.
YAY!! Can I turn those in like Green Stamps?
Yes! You can even use them to buy expensive decorated cakes so you have more money to spend on booze and smokes!! So full of WIN!!!
how many of your H2 wimments wanna go skinny dipping w/me down at the creek?
She might go with ya, CB:
http://is.gd/Bt3xmc
How about my mortgage? I’d rather it pay down my mortgage, not encourage my
crackcake habit.Not that I have a cake habit. I’m kind of sick of cakes.
How many Green Stamps would it take to get a tazer?
She might go with ya, CB:
http://is.gd/Bt3xmc
You are a cruel, cruel woman.
She might go with ya, CB:
GAHHHHH
Tutankhamun. HE LIVES!!
How many Green Stamps would it take to get a tazer?
5000
I shouldn’t make fun of mummy butt. One should not mock the future.
You are a cruel, cruel woman.
I live to serve…… 😛
I will be an empty nester in 4 weeks.
It takes some getting used to. The house will seem too quiet and too clean. But you can make this a positive experience. Take advantage of the fact that you can walk around the house naked all the time.
The house will seem too quiet and too clean
Definite bonus on the clean thing.
Take advantage of the fact that you can walk around the house naked all the time.
Naked, no. I’d get tired from having to run from Peppy all the time. BUT, I did used to have cute little nightwear before the kids got old enough to notice nippies for something other than a connector to food.
When one reaches middle age, gravity and naked get jigglier.
When one reaches middle age, gravity and naked get jigglier.
And sometimes, the Truth Need Even Not Be Spoken.
–Stuff Mrs. Thos. Jefferson Was Overheard to Have Probably Said But Didn’t Bother To Write Down; Seventh Edition, Two Hundred Twenty-first Printing
It’s more of a warning, cyn.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=dEnvSDGiJ7Y&feature=player_embedded
Bust a nut!
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=3quMz-EAThw
Dana Perino on TV!
Every day!
When did this start and why wasn’t I notified?
Heh; I say we don’t warn the youth about nothing Beasn. It will be like a surprise Christmas gift!
Even PPP can’t hide the bad news for Obama:
http://www.commentarymagazine.com/2011/07/20/ppp-poll-for-obama-from-bad-to-worse/
I always thought the best thing about an Empty Nest is that every room is a bedroom…..
I have never heard boo boo lip
Sohos – How is da Count doing?
Dana Perino just said she used to be a gymnist
Dana Perino on TV!
Every day!
———–
Really? This is an excellent development.
*lifts finger from big red button to end the world.
He is in a lot of pain and super drugged up but he is hanging tough
From the gas Sohos?
When are they going to let him out?
They are putting pain killers in his I.V. We aren’t sure yet about release.
Thanks for the update, sug. Hope he’s better in no time!
It was an appendectomy?
Poor guy.
Yes Mare this morning
For MCPO:
http://sports.yahoo.com/golf/blog/devil_ball_golf/post/Tiger-Woods-and-Steve-Williams-officially-call-i?urn=golf-wp3915
Clint – Saw that. Wonder who will step into the breach?
So, the philandering piece of shit falls into a slump and sends his caddy down the road talking to himself.
What a cock knocker.
Hotspur – Maybe it was the last two times Williams attacked someone in the crowd?
Co-worker had an emergency appendectomy (they did the surgery at 3 AM), went home the next day, and was back to work the following week. Far cry from the pre-laparoscope days.
Feel better soon, count. Sohos, flash him and see if that will make him feel no pain.
Didn’t he do something stupid to Michelson too?
How do you get to be a professional caddy?
How do you get to be a professional caddy?
Stand in the parking lot with a sign that says, “Will caddy for filthy lucre!”
ahhh he called him a prick.
“But to make matters worse, the Guardian has reported a story Williams told about this year’s US Open at Torrey Pines, where Woods and Mickelson were paired together.
The two players were walking down the 17th fairway when, according to Williams, someone shouted “Phil” in Mickelson’s direction. The world No 2 did not respond until the fan shouted, “Hey, Mr Mickelson.” When Mickelson turned and waved, the fan yelled out “Nice tits”. The crowd erupted in laughter; Mickelson went double bogey, bogey and his chances of winning the tournament disappeared”.
HA HA HA
Crown prep today, temporary is in place. Novocaine is wearing off.
Ow.
**pours Hotspur a double
Thanks, RocketBabe. The tooth is fine, but the trauma to the gums is what sucks.
Oh, well, at least I’m not in Count’s boat.
I don’t know who might caddy for him, MCPO. Seems pretty risky right now if you ask me.
As far as Steve Williams, I was around him up close and personal at several Masters tournaments. He’s one of the biggest assholes in all of sports.
You have insurance Hotspur? For a fraction of the cost of a crown my dentist will grind the tooth down and build a new one out of epoxy.
I think I have 3 Bondo teeth. The downside is that Bondo teeth have about 1/2 the lifespan of a crown.
Oh, well, at least I’m not in Count’s boat
Or XBrad’s.
WTH? Just mentioning XBrad kills a poat?
Did I miss something about Brad?
Scott, my insurance is minimal – covers $1,000 a year. I hate the dentist so, I prefer a permanent solution. She offered the epoxy route, but I declined.
Oh crap, senior moment. I forgot he got all of his teefs pulled and is in a long term thing.
*toasts xBrad’s continued good helath*
What’s going on at this shit hole?
*notices the fat ugly woman at the bar, sipping chardonnay*
Is this gross ladies night?
*Looks up from glass of chardonnay*
Hey, I resemble that remark……
Hey, this post just got 50% douchier and it’s not from Teresa.
Give her credit for at least telling you about it.
I believe Hotspur lovingly called this place a “shit hole dump” which I think is nice.
Like the vets and opthamologists that told us we had to pay $1000 to remove Ruby’s eye. A google search showed me how they treat the same thing in Europe with a $25 injection.
The bastards looked at me like I was crazy when I asked about it. 7-8 phone calls later I found a vet that was honest.
Hey, this post just got 50% douchier and it’s not from Teresa.
So what are you saying – that I’m not fresh and clean? 😛
For the record, XBrad’s teefs haven’t been hurting since February 2nd.
Stitches from last week’s surgery are out. Healing very well. Next surgery will be Oct. 25th, my birfday.
Hey, I resemble that remark……
No no no. I was talking about Hotspur in his micro skirt.
Put on some panties for God’s sake, man!
It looks Dali’s little-known painting the Persistence of Walnuts.
Hey Rosetta, did Floyd drop acid, bite your toe, turn into a can of chunky peanut butter, then fly around the room again today?
I love it when he does that.
*stares at back of hand*
WHOA
Speaking of Birthdays, today is EddieBear’s b’day…..
HAppy Birthday, luv!
Rosetta, did any cousins make out at your wife’s family reunion?
Dali’s little-known painting the Persistence of Walnuts
HAAA HA HA HA HAAAA
*barfs*
Good one Rosetta
Hey, this post just got 50% douchier and it’s not from Teresa.
You’re a woman. Like you understand percentages.
Why do you have to call me names Rosie and its a white wine spritzer
Hey Rosetta, did Floyd drop acid, bite your toe, turn into a can of chunky peanut butter, then fly around the room again today?
I love it when he does that.
Yes. He also did something new that made me LOL in my pants. I took him out earlier and while he was peeing, he farted.
It’s like he’s a 70 year old man.
No offense Hotspur.
Rosetta, did any cousins make out at your wife’s family reunion?
I don’t know. I was high on angel dust the entire time.
But probably.
Rosetta, I’ll cut yo ass up.
sohitafrognita, you only drink Bud Light!
Geez, this thread just hit “Surreal” at warp 9!
And occassionally red wine
Rosetta, I’ll cut yo ass up.
Bring it!
I thought about you last weekend because one of Mrs Rosetta’s aunts was drinking a box of chardonnay.
You’re a woman. Like you understand percentages.
*looks at old Civil Engineering texts from college*
It’s a good thing I have you menfolk around to help me figger out this stuff – I never could understand how fractions, decimals, and percentages tied together……
I’d pay good money to see Emmanuel Cleaver when he “has a talk” with Rep. West:
http://weaselzippers.us/2011/07/20/congressional-black-caucus-furious-over-gop-rep-allen-wests-email-to-wasserman-schultz/
Has everyone seen the video of that supermassivedunce Contessa Brewer axing Congressman Brooks if he has an economics degree?
I laughed and laughed and laughed and then I Lulzd.
He should have asked her if she does. That would have been rich.
She’s a ticking retard time bomb for MSNBC. I love it.
So, when politicians refer to; “The Average American Family”, are they talking the mean, the median or the mode?
http://tinyurl.com/3hybg54
Well hello there Rosetta! Funny that you should show up on a HHD poat.
It’s “The Average”, Chief – but they don’t expect the great unwashed masses to understand what that means..
Now shut up and eat your peas.
Well hello there Rosetta! Funny that you should show up on a HHD poat.
Funny how? Are you calling me a clown? Do I amuse you? Funny how? HOW THE FUCK AM I FUNNY?!?
*notices the fat ugly woman at the bar, sipping chardonnay*
This is a white Pinot Noir, you non -oenophile.
…after being charged with possessing child pornography…
So how old were the “kids”?
(I’ll be here all week – try the veal!)
Rosetta – Saw that. What an unbelievable scrunt.
TiFW – I hate that when they are talking numbers! It’s like polls, if I don’t know the standard deviation. . .
**tackles Rosetta, gives him the “Chinese fire drill”
Here’s my review of the Liam Neeson movie “Unknown”:
It’s Jason Bourne but when he’s 55.
Fin.
And BOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!
Long day today. Just got home.
Now, Chief – they’re your betters. If you demonstrate that you are “ignorant” of what they are talking about, they may need to send you for some “re-education”.
See you in the camps, comrade!
Funny how? Are you calling me a clown? Do I amuse you? Funny how? HOW THE FUCK AM I FUNNY?!?
Funny coincidence, you dork!
*adds Rosetta pic to her collection of best goatees evah secret wall mural and lights another candle*
Anyone else jazzed about our climate being at the mercy of the Milky Way’s cosmic rays rather than SUVs? Because it makes me happy and terrified.
**tackles Rosetta, gives him the “Chinese fire drill”
*jumps in the back seat, ZZZZZZzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz*
My kids are driving me to drink tonight.
/cuts self
/finds beer
/bandages self up.
Hey, been crazy today. How’s Count doing?
WTF? Where is everyone.
Can you see I’m having a moment?
Roamy,
Spread the word.
When the Shuttle lands, everybody wear ape-suits!
Car in, you look lovely this evening. How was your day?
Where’s that whore Mare. I need to know if beer is going to make me fat.
My day was ok until now. My kids are driving me nuts. I had a good workout. Didn’t get too much done, but … well, just the normal round of laundry, kitchen cleaning, gardening.
When the Shuttle lands, everybody wear ape-suits!
Ha.
That’s what I could use tonight. A good movie. Sci fi.
This is a median poat.
PG! Say something funny.
Rosetta, Sohos and I both loved unknown.
*Takes away Rosetta’s movie reviewer credentials. Kicks him in his poontaint.*
Hahahahahahaha, good idea, ChrisP.
I saw the trailer for the new Ape movie last night.
Unknown even.
Carin, beer will not make YOU fat.
They just got Count up and walking. The night nurse is going to make him walk the hall tonight. He can get a liquid diet starting tomorrow
*notices the fat ugly woman at the bar, sipping chardonnay*
I am not fat, just lumpy. And this is a juicebox.
*kicks rosetta’s ass*
Beer makes you fat. I’m sorry.
I have to do some weeding at the new place soon. I’m a two-week bachelor starting Tuesday, which is awesome.
Because it means I have to take care of all six animals and both houses by myself. When am I going to have time to have my girlfriend over?
I think it was Scott who mentioned a whiskey I wanted to try but I can’t remember what it was called. I may have been drinking and it wasn’t Scott at all. Pretty sure it was a hostage.
Watch this one, Carin:
http://www.bing.com/movies/search/overview?q=Silent+Running&id=e01577c4-0f6a-4f95-b360-34e50e1d37a2&qpvt=Silent+Running&FORM=DTPSHA
Car In, beer will make you happy and fun.
And if you’re happy and fun, no one cares if you’re fat.
When the Shuttle lands, everybody wear ape-suits!
HAHAHA….crispy made a funneh.
Leon – Bullshit! I drink beer and I’m a wispy 240 lbs!
Beer doesn’t make you fat. Too many carbs/calories vs. what you’re burning off makes you fat, although the malt in beer can slow down your metabolism, so there’s that.
Anyway, Carin, have a beer then go run 11 miles and do 117 ab crunches after that.
Decides to listen to Mare and not Leon.
sorry.
One beer ain’t gonna make me fat. Plus, I’ve noticed that a beer or two actually helps a bit with running, especially when I’ve gone low carb.
Silent Running will make you want to kill yourself.
Or possibly make you want to build robots to carry on after Obama gets us all killed.
MCPO, what is Google-plus and how come I got an email from you that says ‘no-reply’ in the address?
That’s the third or fourth of these things I’ve gotten.
I like your advice Clint, but to be more accurate, I’d only have to run for about 15 mins to burn it off.
One beer ain’t gonna make me fat.
Uh huh, you’re going to stop at one.
leon, have your girlfriend take care of the animals so that you can do the garden stuff.
….two birds…one stone…blah blah
HA! Chrispy, I may be dumb but I’m slow. I just got your joke.
Carin, I’ve seen a study or two that does prove beer is a good after workout beverage.
Car in, you’re likely a very efficient runner since you do so much of it. Probably need more like an hour or two.
“And if you’re happy and fun, no one cares if you’re fat.”
I’m banking on this!
Sex is good after a workout too … just sayin’ … and I sorta remember.
beasn, my imaginary mistress is much too high maintenance to do chores.
Chris, how did your eyeball operation go?
“‘“And if you’re happy and fun, no one cares if you’re fat.’
I’m banking on this!”
It also helps if you’re grabby when your drunk.
I read in People magazine that Billy Blanks drinks 2 cases of beer a day and he’s not fat.
But he is black so there’s that.
Laurawhorea,
Google+ is like google’s version of Facechimpdouche.
RACIST!!!!
Laura! Go check you G+ now!!1!
Uh huh, you’re going to stop at one.
I did.
Tangle Ridge Oso.
Comment by Car in on July 20, 2011 8:38 pm
PG! Say something funny.
You know youre talking to me right? Unfunniest of all the texans.
I did.
Whoa /keanu
Car in, you’re likely a very efficient runner since you do so much of it. Probably need more like an hour or two.
About 10 minutes of kicking your ass should do it.
All of the world’s top athletes drink two to three cases of beer a day.
This is a proven scientific fact.
Beer doesn’t make ME fat, or Scott either I’d bet.
I’ve the metabolism of a humming-bird. The only difference between drinking lots of beer and eating rich food, or watching my calories, is cost.
I’m going-on 63 years, 6′ tall, and 138 pounds. I don’t think I’m part of ‘Obese America’.
I could gain 10 pounds if I went back to the gym 7 days a week, but I would not get any bigger, just denser muscle-mass.
Anita, however, does not work that way…
Thanks Farthead. But I don’t use facebjorkcurtainlardvuvuzela either, so that doesn’t really help. Is this like a mass email? And why the no-reply?
One beer was all I needed. Just to make it through the kids being really irritating. They’ve stopped, so I can stop drinking.
It mommy’s medicine.
About 10 minutes of kicking your ass should do it.
Possibly. I almost deserve it at this point.
#
All of the world’s top athletes drink two to three cases of beer a day.
This is a proven scientific fact.
#
You guys should have seen MJ in the gym on Saturday morning in St. Louis. He was AMAZING.
beasn, my imaginary mistress is much too high maintenance to do chores.
Now see, my imaginary paramour* is chore ready. There is nothing hawter than a dirty dirty boy. High maintenance dudes = metroghey.
*kinda like Mr. Beasn
There’s a movie I want to watch about roller derby death match with motorcycles in a dystopian future, but I can’t remember the title or actors. A little help?
The imaginary mistress makes up for her impractical nature with a wide array of fun costumes.
Why bother drinking if you’re not gonna get shitfaced?
Stuff Jefferson would’ve said if he’d been born in the latter half of the twentieth century. Vol I, Unabridged.
You’re thinking of “On Golden Pond”, Jewstin.
You can use it to mass communicate if you’d like Laura. You can write stupid shit about what you’re doing or thinking RIGHT NOW!! It’s a way to hook up with other friends or family, share photos…the possibilities are endless!
*waits for G+ check to arrive*
Did anybody wrassle with anybody else today?
Carin, how do you know you don’t have cause and effect reversed? You’re saying you stopped drinking *when* they stopped being annoying. But perhaps you really just drink *until* they no longer annoy you.
Jewstin, it’s the wrong movie, but you can’t go wrong with MegaForce.
I’m pretty sure that was Mommy Dear Ass, Jewstin.
You guys should have seen MJ in the gym on Saturday morning in St. Louis. He was AMAZING.
——————————————
The real biathlon is binge drinking and sorta working out. I’m hoping to be sponsored by Heineken® for the 2012 season.
So, it’s Twitter, but it goes to my email and I don’t have to sign up to ‘follow’ that person?
Jewstin: Rollerball?
Oh my God Carin is so funny tonight.
*emails Carin’s kids to ask them to annoy her some more*
Omg. I just found my bil on facebook (I don’t think he’s on it much) and it’s got a picture of his wife (you know, the one that recently passed away). She looks HORRIBLE. If I could find a way to discretely share, I would, since I told you so much about her.
You’ve about got the gist of it Laura. Maybe more like a blog only faster and with invited guests only.
————————
gotta run for a bit
Carin, how do you know you don’t have cause and effect reversed? You’re saying you stopped drinking *when* they stopped being annoying. But perhaps you really just drink *until* they no longer annoy you.
Let’s not quibble over details of the matter. Whichever way the magic works is fine with me.
G+ is MyFaceTwitch spelled in shorthand.
The real biathlon is binge drinking and sorta working out. I’m hoping to be sponsored by Heineken® for the 2012 season.
Is throwing up an actual “leg” of the competition, or is that an extra credit thing?
Mare!
I was askeered, but all the drama was my own. It was easy peasy. The only pain involved was the nurse trying to put the IV fixture in my arm.
Everything else was painless, quick, and easy. It took a few hours for the muscles in my eye-socket to wake-up, so the eye would look where it was supposed to.
I got the left-lens out of my glasses today, so I can see with my ‘new’ eye, and my ‘really bad’ right-eye with the glasses. The ‘new’ eye is not ready to focus very close, yet. Distance vision is wonderful!
And the colors!
BiW told me it would be different, and it really is. The plastic lens passes a different spectrum than the natural lens. Color is vivid. Kinda like Kodachrome color -vs- generic fast-color-film.
I’m really anxious to get my right-eye done, as it sucks, even with the glasses.
They are gonna make me wait a couple weeks for the right-eye ’cause it’s really FUBAR inside and will take long to heal. They want the left to be ‘all settled in’ before they try the right.
*emails Carin’s kids to ask them to annoy her some more*
Holy shit, they’re back. WHAT DID YOU DO?
gotta run for a bit
When did Cyn start running?
“On Golden Pond”
*Sends Carin’s kids a kazoo and drum set.
Your wasting your money, Jewstin. They already have a drum set.
And a kazoo? Wouldn’t even phase me. I’ve got 5 kids.
Carin, perhaps my little friend can help.
http://is.gd/zLSc4R
Oh hey! It’s Mr. Alcohol! Say hi to Carin!
Is throwing up an actual “leg” of the competition, or is that an extra credit thing?
——————————————
It depends. If you projectile vomit the refs are probably going to throw the flag. If you just barf in your own mount a little, they’ll let it go.
LauraW is five times more likely to call me on the phone than to sign up for Google+
I believe everybody gets the concept of “long odds”
If it’s like facejarpossumstapler, then, not gunna do it.
A possum stapler is a real thing, by the way. I have three. They work great.
Carin, perhaps my little friend can help.
http://is.gd/zLSc4R
/Gives kids the toy, which they immediately throw up in the air and gets caught in my rafters.
Thanks a lot, Laura. That really makes things a ton better.
Holy crap – I just learned how to text message, Tweet, and switched everything over to Gmail, and now there’s something NEW that I need to learn?
I’ll have one of whatever you’re having, Carin…..
(unless it’s a beer with the ee-bil gluten in it)
None of my possums have ever come apart, even after repeated trips through the washing machine. Highly recommend this item.
Just how many possums do you need to staple?
Who is more likely to call you, Dave, me or Lauraw?
DiT,
Would that be like Obama going on TV tomorrow and announcing; “The Conservatives are right! We don’t have a revenue problem, we have a spending problem! We must learn to live within our means!”
That kinda “Long Odds”?
I’ll have one of whatever you’re having, Carin…..
(unless it’s a beer with the ee-bil gluten in it)
I just spit the gluten out.
Oh, it’s not that, xbrad. I just keep forgetting I have one already and always pick one up when I see it at Home Depot.
But hey, at least I have a back up or two just in case there’s a possum stapling emergency.
>> Who is more likely to call you, Dave, me or Lauraw?
My mom.
It’s twue, it’s twue:
http://patdollard.com/2011/07/shep-smith-named-one-of-50-most-powerful-gay-men-in-america/
Carin is killing me! HAA HA HA HAA
did I tell you guys I had to make the birds (they are martins) a new nest?
I hung a basket near their nest and put them all in that. They – apparently – fledged too early. They would have just died on the ground, but after the one jumped, the other two did as well.
The (annoying) kids just checked on ’em and they are fine.
Carin is killing me! HAA HA HA HAA
You’re just going to encourage me, you know.
I just checked the email I haven’t been using since it was tainted a while back and boy you all have been busy.
*no I did not change it here above my nic because I haven’t figured out where to change it at avatar/wordpress*
facebjorkcurtainlardvuvuzela
Hahahahahahahaha.
Time to make the donuts. See you sumbitches later. And I’m doing the worst BBF ever this week.
http://tinyurl.com/4yb3lg
*kills Dave in Texas*
Time to make the donuts. S
Is that what the kids are calling it now-a-days?
Gross. Keep it to yourself.
*kills Dave in Texas*
This is your brain on fried eggs.
Jeebus I hate Mexican music.
OOMPA OOMPA
deedle deet dee deedle deet dee
OOMPA OOMPA
The Messicans are having a pool party outside my apartment tonight.
ha ha ha.
Carin, perhaps my little friend can help.
http://is.gd/zLSc4R
I’m going to make one of those for Baby Peel.
Any updates on Count?
We call that music “the neighborhood mating call” around these parts, Jewstin….
Great news that your eye surgery went well Chrispy!
Any updates on Count?
Here ya go, Sean:
https://thehostages.wordpress.com/2011/07/20/hhd-firefly-edition/#comment-576939
You probably won’t like this then Jewstein.
Cyn,
Thanks! I’m now an ‘enthusiast’, at least for THIS doctor.
I’m aware that there are some who have less success.
I asked a nurse; “How ofter does this go wrong?” She has been with him for two years and has never seen it happen.
BiW was pretty enthusiastic in his recommendation, and I agree with him. This Doc is is young enough to be my grand-child, but he is VERY good.
Thanks, Teresa.
I’ve decided to grow a beard while Cathy is in Colorado. I think it’s going to be white.
*strokes chin with stubble*
*Tackles Car in, gives her the “whisker burn”*
I haven’t had a full beard since the IBSBP.
It sure had some white in it.
We call that music “the neighborhood mating call” around these parts, Jewstin….
I want my taxes to fund a government task force to destroy every tuba and accordion in existence.
My Dad grew a full beard for a while after he retired. I like to think that my ridicule helped get him back to reality, but it was probably his wife’s tiny but persuasive backhand.
Michael,
When I went to work at Ft. Lewis, as a contractor doing maint & mods on attack-helos, I had to shave-off my red-beard, so the respirators would seal while using hazardous chemicals.
When the contract ended, and I joined the ‘Army-of-the-Funemployed’, I could let it grow again. It came-out totally white!
I was shocked! Shocked, I tell you!
It’s white to this day.
It doesn’t make me look ‘distinguished’, it makes me look old…
Just sayin’.
A beard, huh?
LauraW,
You’ve seen my POL-pic. My beard don’t look that bad. It hides my weak chin and gives me character.
Well yeah, the character of an aging hippie, but WTF,O?
You should post a picture of it when you’re done Michael. Then do a series of gradual shaves so we can see you with different styles, the Colonel Sanders, etc., ending with ‘the Rosetta.’
You’ll have to shave your head for that one.
It will be worth it.
DRIVE-BY COMMENT
I am so, so, so ready to have this baby.
\DRIVE-BY COMMENT
I really need to subscribe to Laura’s newsletter…..
GO Peel!
Peel!!!!!!!
How’re you holding up in this heat, momma?
Howdy Viruses!
Crispy, it works for some people.
Dad just looked like an old bum, because he just let ‘er rip and he wasn’t shaping it right. He can grow a beard in three minutes just by thinking on it real hard, and his beard starts nearly just below his eyes. It was terrible.
Peel, I told you to not let that Will dude in your pants. Bud did you listen? Hell no!! And now look atcha.
My white beard make me look old, but I ain’t shaving!
Oh it definitely works for you, Master Chief. *waggles eyebrows*
Hey vmax, what would you give me for a ’99 F250 crew cab with 145k on it? How bout a ’01 Maxima with 168k? Throw in a ’00 Ranger with 115k and you’ve just about established my net worth.
I don’t know, but I’m guessing being pregnant in the last trimester where the temps were 100+ for 45 days probably sucks.
I’m 31 and when I grow my hair or beard to any length it’s salt and pepper. I even noticed a few white chest hairs the other day. It doesn’t seem fair.
There’s no way I’d get away with growing a beard again now (work).
I kinda liked it, but then I kept it trimmed at the neck and on my cheeks.
People told me it was red, which is odd, but whatever. I mean the parts that weren’t grey
Hang on PG,
Remember I am quoting wholesale auction prices. I buy 2001-2002 Rav4’s for $4000 and sell them at auction for $6000. My buyers retail them for $10,000
I think I’d look weird with a beard and no head hair.
I agree wtih Laura, Chief. Good Stuff!
Men with neat facial hair is hawt!
Except when it gets too itchy n stuff. Then it’s not so hawt.
LauraW,
Back in ’57 (probably before you were born), during the Oregon Centennial, lots of Oregon men grew beards. First time ever I saw my dad with a beard! I thought it was very cool! It really looked good on him. Mom HATED it! When the celebration and fair were over, in ‘no uncertain terms’, he would shave it off, and never do such a horrible thing again!
He never did, but I think he enjoyed it, in no small part because it pissed her off so…
Did Mrs Cyn like my big ‘stache?
Dave – I’m sure you look quite dashing with your beard.
The only time my beard gets itchy is when the hair gets just long enough to curl back and touch my face (the follicles are thick and wiry, not at all like my hair). That phase lasts a couple weeks, I used to shower and rinse hair conditioner through it, which helped).
Now, how itchy it was on chicks, can’t say. Well, I could. But I gots manners.
Dave, IBSBP = ?
Dave, if you have a trimmer or set of clippers, I recommend using it/them early in the beard-growing process. Blunts the tips of the hairs so they don’t poke as much. Razors leave the hairs pointy.
Mrs. Peel, I can sympathize. Rocketboy’s birfday was yesterday. Mr. RFH wore flannel pajamas and long sleeve shirts in the house, I kept it so cold.
Peel, chug a quart of Cator Oil then jump up and down a lot. That should help you get your delivery wish.
I trim my beard at least once a week. Also, one should use sharp scissors to trim the lip line. Finally, conditioner is a must ifffin you want to kiss pretty girls.
Sleep time.
Count just walked a lap around our whole floor. Leaps and bounds from this morning
PG,
A Tan F250 2wd XLT with 153k miles sold in TX Hobby for $4500
There were not enough XL’s to bother, and I skipped the Lariat.
01 Max
A grey GXE with 151k sold in DFW for $3500
00 Ranger Reg Cab with 102k sold in DFW for $2500
Sohos – That’s good news!
Heh, hospital floor laps. Oh man does that bring memories. Good job Count! Keep at it! The more you walk the faster you’re home.
Sohos, does he have pain from the gas they inflate you with during the laparascopic procedure?
What happened to Count?
what did I miss?
Sorry Sohos!
Vmax, Count had his appendix out this morning.
Anybody have a good recipe for croquettes? I’m going to make some of the ham variety tomorrow.
I don’t think so Layra. He said I wanna go home so I am showing them I can walk. Vman he had his appendix out this morning.
IBSBP = Innocent Bystanders Super Bowl Party.. when I met a ton of those goofs for the first time. Been 3 years I think.. it was the Giants and the Pats.
Sohos, glad he’s moving around. They do blow up that belly with gas,
Leon, you cannot train my beard hair. It is round and wiry, and it could be used to pave roads. It will go where it wants to. The only relief from the “touchback” is when it gets long enough to “touch somewhere else”.
Weird, cause my head hair is kinda soft.
OH.. duh. I see what you’re saying now Leon. Good point.
Glad Count is doing better, Sohos.
My youngest and her little buddies are on the road now from Florida. 18 hours.
I’m fine.
Mostly.
I am glad he is ok Sohos.
Been 3 years I think.. it was the Giants and the Pats.
Hey, I remember that game.
That’s the game where I won that awesome bet I made with PJ and sohos.
I am glad he is ok Sohos.
same here, sohos.
Dammit we need to get through a year without a Hostage breaking down on us!
Great news, Sohita! Go get ’em, Count!
I don’t know, but I’m guessing being pregnant in the last trimester where the temps were 100+ for 45 days probably sucks.
Yes (1986), yes (1991), yes (1992), and yes (2001)……
>> Dammit we need to get through a year without a Hostage breaking down on us!
He’s a youngun too.
Glad he’s ok.
..
Hey, I’m good! Nothin hurts.
Get well soon and buck the system Count!
All of my USB ports crapped out a few weeks ago, and my sound card.
Now I am working from home. Thunderbird did no work with the office email server. My Laser printer does not have usb, my laptop dose not have a printer port.
Did I mention my USB ports don’t work?
Now I have a spanking new laptop with a new laser All in one, oopsie I now have office 2010 my 2007 did not have outlook.
Meh What is a grand when you are unemployed?
Hey, I’m good! Nothin hurts.
c’mere….
*smack!
how about now?
If they are in the bay area Dave, I will check on them for you. With your permission of course1
Thanks yall. He said he hasn’t noticed that aspect. He didn’t like it when they squeezed the drainage sack…*passes out*
HAHA! Vman and his ‘stache checking on the girls!
Hopefully they fully deflated Count, that gas can hurt like a mofo.
Mine traveled to my shoulders and had a party for about 3 days.
Have they at least given you a time frame for when he might get out, Sohos? Give him a sweet pinch from me please.
That sounds awful Scott. Did they do some kind of massage to help with that?
Crispy, I’m so glad your surgery was a success! Scott they must have b/c he hasn’t felt or even said anything about that.
If I complained about anything the solution was always another couple laps.
Good to hear the surgery went good for count. Hope he gets home soon!
I passed a Performance Powder Coating in Des Moines, made me think of you two.
My friend had cataract surgery a few years back, said now it doesn’t look like he’s seeing life through a glass of skim milk, any more.
Cyn we don’t know yet and I just pinched him for you 😉
See Contessa get pwned: Chicks on the Right: Contessa Brewer: Welcome To Being OWNED By Mo Brooks.
Smoooches Sohos!
said now it doesn’t look like he’s seeing life through a glass of skim milk,
any chance they can help me with this recurring double-vision I seem to get in the evenings?
Scott, I was gonna tell you Dana Perino was on TV every day, but I didn’t want to subject you to Bob Beckel.
any chance they can help me with this recurring double-vision I seem to get in the evenings?
Duh. Tape one eye shut. Problem solved.
any chance they can help me with this recurring double-vision I seem to get in the evenings?
You sure it isn’t the bartender you need to stop visiting for that problem?
Sohito,
Thanks! Glad Count is doing well. Maybe home tomorrow? Probably several days before he can go back to work.
*high fives Jay with the double-tap*
A beard, huh?
That’s right, sweetie.
You’re gonna get the “whisker burn” when you come home.
Also, I’ve been pruning the palm trees. They look a lot better.
Duh. Tape one eye shut. Problem solved.
Huh. It worked. You a genius!
You sure it isn’t the bartender you need to stop visiting for that problem?
BARtender. *pshaw. I wish!
How cool Jay. Just now on the Spanish channel they were selling something callled “Super Cyn” hahahaha SS gift?
Jay’Ames,
I kept trying to wipe the film off my glasses. DUH! It was NOT my glasses.
This is gonna be great!
/Flounder
<i.Also, I’ve been pruning the palm trees.
Honestly, wouldn’t e-mail be a better forum for you two to be discussing your manscaping?
Please?
*reads new line above comment box, cries, runs to the bedroom and slams the door; twice*
W00t! Free advertising! Your check is in the mail Sohos! 😀 HAHA!
Just now on the Spanish channel they were selling something callled “Super Cyn” hahahaha SS gift?
So then, I’m gonna assume it was rather cheap?
Don’t worry, Cyn, it’s just a reminder for wiser. It’s why we don’t hear from him all day.
Until he hits the sauce.
>> how about now?
If you strike me now I will just come back stronger than you could ever imagine.
It occurred to me tonight (so I posted about it), 42 years ago tonight I was sitting on the living room floor with dad and mom, and my eldest kid sis, watching Neil Armstrong walk on the moon.
Wiser, we actually have three Washingtonian palm trees in our front yard. One is new, replacing a palm that did not make it through the exceptionally hard freeze last winter. (A 10′ palm of this type costs $1K here.)
The other two are doing fine, but looked kind of ratty because of the freeze burns, which I have been trimming off.
It’s why we don’t hear from him all day.
yeah…… that’s why….
*cough
Ok Kool kids I’m going to try to get some sleep. ‘Niteall
Dave- I know where of you speak. I was there with my parents and two siblings, all of whom have passed on.
“Probably several days before he can go back to work.”
If he can walk, he can work.
Wiser, we actually have three Washingtonian palm trees in our front yard. One is new, replacing a palm that did not make it through the exceptionally hard freeze last winter. (A 10′ palm of this type costs $1K here.)
The other two are doing fine, but looked kind of ratty because of the freeze burns, which I have been trimming off.
BWAAAAAAAAAAAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!!!
Holy shit, Michael, I had almost forgotten how unbelievably funny you can be sometimes…..
Seriously…
BWAAAAAAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAH……
waitaminute….
*rereads Michael’s comment.
.
.
.
.
WTF????? Why, that wasn’t funny at all!
Sxott,
You’re so considerate. I like that!
If he can walk, he can work.
If he can dodge sepsis, he can dodge a ball.
If he can dodge sepsis, he can dodge a ball.
Nice call back, well done. That was a chortle and a snort.
That was really a response to Scott, but I left both eyes open. Major FAIL.
Sorry. My ‘new’ eye don’t focus that close, yet…
Nighty night sweet Sohos!
hey crispy… how many fingers am I holding up?
…………………./´¯/)
………………..,/¯../
………………./…./
…………./´¯/’…’/´¯¯`·¸
………./’/…/…./……./¨¯\
……..(‘(…´…´…. ¯~/’…’)
………\……………..’…../
……….”…\………. _.·´
…………\…………..(
…………..\………….\…
So then, I’m gonna assume it was rather cheap?
Cheap and easy–I based my target audience on you wiserbuns.
My guess is that he will be eager to get back to the shop. I certainly hope he doesn’t push it, but wouldn’t be surprised if he did.
I certainly hope he doesn’t push it, – scott
>> Holy shit, Michael, I had almost forgotten how unbelievably funny you can be sometimes…..
Michael who?
My Dad grew a full beard for a while after he retired.
See, I’m not going for a full beard this time. I’m going for the scruffy Don Johnson look that I keep seeing in the Happy Hump Day posts that the Hostagettes keep selecting.
I might need to buy some kind of trimmer for this. I’ll bet I can find one cheap on Amazon.com.
Also, why is Wiser such a dick? I bared my soul about my palm trees, and he was a dick about it. He mocked me.
No wonder that nobody likes him.
No wonder that nobody likes him.
Actually, from the e-mails I get, my mocking you is the one thing people actually like about me.
Wow. Clarinet brothers will cut each other like the bitch owes em money.
I have Cuban royals Michael. and bootless Washingtonian palms
Not that I can’t grow boots
Michael, maybe check into a Flobee for the facial hair.
Michael who?
Michael Hu. Very popular sit-com star in Japan.
Best known for his role as Chandrer in Fliends.
Wow. Clarinet brothers will cut each other like the bitch owes em money.
Fucking A, buddy. You do NOT fuck with clarinet players.
At least, that’s what I always heard the flute players say to each other during band rehearsal.
That’s right, they knew.
They knew.
Vman–are Cohibas a good cigar?
I would go with a HomeLite Michael
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=FcY351vBALo
heh. Nite kids.
Am glad teh Count is feelin bitchy about hospitals. That’s a good sign.
Michael, maybe check into a Flobee for the facial hair.
either that or a goat.
The other big event of my day was that I got a haircut.
I figured it would be bad to show up at the Spirit Grille for dinner with both a scruffy face and needing a haircut.
Wiser,
That’s nice. You’re now on ‘The List’…
Love you bro.
nite, davey.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=duHx9-6oBNU
Sweet Dreams Dave!
I never considered it the ‘Don Johnson’ look, more like the ‘Yasser Arafat’ look.
You know, like your average Egyptian terrorist…
Bed calls. Got an emergency pack and ship job tomorrow. Furniture that has to be in LA by the end of the month so it can make the taping of a TV show.
Price is no object = sweetest words ever spoken.
newpoat
Sweet dreams to you too Scott!
I’m not too far behind.
Glad to hear Count is doing fine.