My Bitch Hand Wants to Work a Double

By now you may have seen this piece of major fucking suck:

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In my happy place, there is no violence.  In the real world, I would slap the taste out of everyone’s mouth in this Special Olympics pledge drive Democrat Kool-aid commercial.

We could all go through this video, person by person, and point out why they’re idiots but that would take time and effort and I already have a job.

Better just to point and laugh.

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[UPDATE: Your Mom]

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How’s that Cyn?  BEST POST EVER!!!

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111 Comments

  1. But seriously, I love all people.

    Even the really dumb ones.

  2. their policies have created shit like this
    http://directorblue.blogspot.com/2011/06/violent-urban-flash-mobs-delightful.html
    so fuck them

  3. Rosie loves meeeeeee!

    eh?

  4. This poat deserves a Nobel for worst poat evah.

  5. Rosie loves meeeeeee!

    Of course I do.

    Duh.

    http://tinyurl.com/5unym5b

  6. I… I hadn’t seen that video.

    “I’m a Democrat because I believe hope is the stuff of dreams…” …. can you be any more of a pussy? I mean seriously, I’m a woman and I have about a million times more balls than you.

    Christ, and people wonder why I don’t date much.

  7. Rosetta. Got sumpin from you and Mrs. Rosetta today.

    You guys are so sweet.

    More later…

  8. This poat deserves a Nobel for worst poat evah.

    FINE!!! I’LL UPDATE IT!!

    Haaaarrrrruuummpppphhhh!!!!

  9. Revy – Do I need to find you a nice Marine Corps Staff Sargent?

  10. Sausage fest photo! Rosie and I have a special bond. Sorta kinda.

  11. FINE!!! I’LL UPDATE IT!!

    Not bad.

    But, um, was your mom okay with you posting that last pic of you breastfeeding at age 14?

  12. HAHAHA! That lady is still nursing her teenaged daughter!

  13. This post has been updated like a muhfucker.

  14. Rosetta – Where ya going tonight?

    http://fwd4.me/05Fj

  15. How’s that Cyn? BEST POST EVER!!!

    HAHAHAHAHA!

    http://is.gd/KLelIT

    Smooooches!

  16. I’m a Democrat because…

    I’m stupid enough to believe whatever someone tells me that sounds good and feels good!

    I’m a fat ugly chick and it’s the only way I’m gonna ever get laid.

    I’m a geeky dork and I’d have no friends otherwise.

    I don’t like reading source material or checking facts. That’s a lame waste of my time.

    Because sounding intelligent by expressing my negativity is easier than actually being intelligent.

    I wanna be accepted, and this is the best I can do to be cool.

  17. That last one looks like a Simplicity sewing pattern drawing.

  18. Rosetta – Where ya going tonight?

    http://fwd4.me/05Fj

    Your place to be the man of the house.

  19. http://is.gd/KLelIT

    Smooooches!

    That’s hot.

  20. Oh, the ironing!

    http://fwd4.me/05Fm

  21. HAHAHA! That lady is still nursing her teenaged daughter!

    HAHAHAHAHAHA!!!!

  22. Off to dinner. Later cool kids.

  23. Off to dinner. Later cool kids.

    Cyn, don’t let that one guy shit in your kitchen.

    Unless you like that sort of thing.

    Gross.

  24. Rosie – Are you on the road tonight or home?

    *plugs in GPS and checks on C-4 and det-cord*

  25. Did anybody sink anybody else’s battleship today?

  26. WTFITS?

  27. Andy!!!

    *naps after inappropriate enthusiasm*

  28. Rosie – Are you on the road tonight or home?

    *plugs in GPS and checks on C-4 and det-cord*

    I’m in your garage stuffing rags in 15 cans of gas. Either that or I’m home.

    I’ll be in Chicago next week and then I’m done traveling.

    Airports when you’re on vacation are tolerable. When you’re traveling for work they suck giant lakeduck peen.

  29. Looks like Sean and Andy are done cuddling.

  30. Looks like Sean and Andy are done cuddling.

    I think they’re making out behind the couch. . . again.

  31. Sorry, went for a walk with the Dad and the Dog.

    MCPO – …. yes please.

  32. Chicago?!

    You advising Blago on investment strategies while locked up?

  33. You advising Blago on investment strategies while locked up?

    I thought that was wiser’s gig.

    Prison SOLUTIONS!

  34. Chicago?!

    You advising Blago on investment strategies while locked up?

    My main recommendation is for him to have Jesse Jackson Jr cut his hair on the nightly news and then sell it on eBay for raise money for cigarettes and condoms in prison.

    Fucking genius plan.

  35. Imma bitch to the HOA about the maintenance on out unit!

    http://fwd4.me/05Fq

  36. Imma bitch to the HOA about the maintenance on out unit!

    http://fwd4.me/05Fq

    MULTIPLE FAIL!!

  37. MULTIPLE FAIL!!

    Whut? No see pixshure?

  38. If there are wineries in Michigan, distilleries in Kentucky, breweries pretty much everywhere, does that mean there’s tequilaries in Mexico?

    Cuz I could go for that.

  39. Y’all need to march yourself over to IB… pretty please.

    http://michaelscomments.wordpress.com/2011/06/29/what-is-love/

    Fanx.

  40. Suppertime.

    Later.

  41. Jay in Ames, how many corn cobs do you have in your pants RIGHT NOW??

  42. Pants is a polite euphemism for ass, right?

  43. Pants? technically, 0

  44. MOM!! VMAX IS TALKING TO HIMSELF ON AN OLD POAT!!!

  45. I think Ann feels strongly about this one. She would know!

    http://www.humanevents.com/article.php?id=44553

  46. Crap I wuz stuck on teh old poat
    Bastage!

  47. Rosetta, isn’t it customary to announce a new post?

    Douche.

  48. MOM!! VMAX IS TALKING TO HIMSELF ON AN OLD POAT!!!

    Oh crap…we’re going to have to put him in a “home”.

  49. we were going to send out the rescue party for ya, vmax!

  50. Rosetta, isn’t it customary to announce a new post?

    Douche.

    I didn’t announce the new post? Yes I did. I think.

  51. Comment by Rosetta on June 29, 2011 8:31 pm
    something something something
    Also, new pootse.

    You owe my an apology in the form of a gold bar.

  52. not only am I talking to my self on a old poat, My comments go into the spam bucket

    I suck

  53. not only am I talking to my self on a old poat, My comments go into the spam bucket

    I suck

    Hahahahahahahaha.

    Sorry for not putting up a billboard in your neighborhood that there was a new post.

    FLOYD! GO FART ON VMAX!

  54. Rosie – What kick-ass music are you listening to at the moment?

  55. Floyd!!!!!!!1111 my man!!!!1111err dog.

    Zeke! bite Floyd on the nose1 then wrastel with him!

  56. “New pootse” ???????

    I assumed you had surgery.

  57. All right punks I gotta go. See you cool monkeys later.

    I hope you fellas wake up to this.

    http://tinyurl.com/3r4z229

  58. PS Floyd
    Ginny Ginny Ginger wants to play too!

  59. Rosie – What kick-ass music are you listening to at the moment?

    http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=X4yR2BciEnc

  60. Except for the last picture, I was really loving this post!

    B+ (Which is another way of saying you suck less than a B)

  61. Mare!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!111111111eeeek

  62. Hey, Vman! Are you a millionaire yet? If you aren’t, I still love you. But a little less.

  63. Mare! How are your girls doing? Are you having lots o’fun?

  64. Hey, I’ve got an idea, everyone kick Rosetta in the ass for crapping on the last post.

  65. Trust me Mare,
    You hate my guts!

    No New Axes!!!!
    .
    .
    .
    Oops sorry

  66. MCPO, had a blast! They are both gone now and my life is empty and meaningless again, that’s why I hang out here.

  67. No New Axes!!!!

    HAHAHAHA….I love those commercials.

    I’ll take these……and all of those.

  68. Mare! Where you been?

    http://tinyurl.com/n6e38k

    Oh.

    *runs away until tomorrow*

  69. Jeopardy time. Later, kids.

  70. *grins from ear to ear*

    Mare gets my joke!
    Yea!

  71. Rosetta, I told my girls you linked that video as me and they laughed and said, “does he know you?”

    BASTARDS!!!

  72. This is what I told them I link as you:

    http://tinyurl.com/4293n8g

  73. I wish Sean was younger and could stay up past 10:00.

  74. Mare – I’m still up when all of you jerks have gone to bed most of the time.

  75. I’m a Democrat because I believe women should have a greater role in my life, as often as possible. Hot women, not the other Democrat women.

    Hard to pick on insipid college twaddle but it does remind me of that idiotic “I pledge” video.

  76. for the hostage nation….

    perfect…

    for rosie….
    this

    http://tinyurl.com/3g2wa6s

  77. Revvy, I know you young’uns are up late….including Sean, I’m the old goat who goes to bed early. I don’t sleep, but I am in bed.

    Dave, it also reminds me of that 52%-48% BS video.

  78. Hard to pick on insipid college twaddle…

    Not for me! Those are supposed to be my peers *dry heave*

    Mare – I’m actually probably gonna try and pull an all-nighter tonight. My circadian rhythm is kinda non-existent.

  79. >> Not for me!

    You get a pass. Cause you’re all brainy and shit.

    >> reminds me of that 52%-48%

    Huh. I must have put that particular bit of twaddle out of the recall section of my brain.

    Don’t matter. I’m sure it’s insipid twaddle too.

    Historically, it would have taken a pretty amazing turn of events for a Dem not to win in 08. I sometimes wonder how much less awful (and it still woulda been fuckin awful) things would be right now if Hillary had taken the nomination.

  80. I’m actually probably gonna try and pull an all-nighter tonight

    Oh the days of staying up late, partying with friends, showering and then heading to work.

  81. New threshold boards for the slider and the side door. Lots of painting and cleaning. Tomorrow is baseboard, then trim pieces, then we’re done. Ad goes live soon.

    How are all you weenies?

  82. Ya know, Dave, thinking about ‘what might have been’ had Hillary been C in C is almost whimper-worthy. And how fucking sad is that.

  83. Hillary would be less bad, I think, but we wouldn’t have Obama to compare against.

    On the whole, I think I’d rather be called sexist than racist.

  84. We’re always going to be called one name or another I think. No matter what Dem takes the helm. It is what they do.

  85. Leon, except for wine, I’ve given up sugar and I feel much more betta’.

  86. Well, I actually am sexist, so at least the label would fit.

  87. I think one of the more bad things, had Hillary won, is she might have stood a better chance of re-election in 2012.

    Might. Hard comparison.

  88. Anybody else blow-up the gearbox in their garage door opener today?
    Then spent an hour and a half in the car getting a new one, and 5 hours putting it together and installing it.
    Suck ‘surprise’…

  89. Excellent, Mare. Good luck going forward. I’ve been adding back non-grain, non-legume starches in limited amounts and specific times (right after a workout), and I’m actually losing again. I’ve been very low carb for a very long time now, and my body comp is finally close enough to normal that I think I can handle a bit more starch. Still no sugar, though, potatoes are plenty for me.

  90. Chris, that might be what’s wrong with mine. What are the symptoms?

  91. If it’s a worm gear, the symptom is the motor grinds while the door doesn’t open, the chain rattles, and there’s a pile of plastic detritus in the bottom of the opener (take off a panel and peek in the back)

  92. she might have stood a better chance of re-election in 2012.

    {{shudders}}

    Good point.

  93. Leon,
    The door went half-way up, loud BANG, then it dropped. I pulled the cover and the plastic-gearbox, covering the plastic-gears, had blown apart. It was a 25 year-old Stanley, and they are no-longer in the garage-door-opener business.
    Someone installed one without setting it up properly and it killed their child. They sued. Stanley lost. Juries are stupid and emotion-driven.
    I got a Chamberlain belt-drive 1/2 horse at Lowes for about $200, including sales tax. It was $20 more at Home Depot.

  94. Doesn’t sound like my problem. Mine just doesn’t want to close the door. We thought it was the sensors, but nothing changed afyer replacement. I may just get a new one from Lowes and have a friend install it (I lack the time and patience, but I have a little money left).

  95. I call our Garage door opener ‘Dad’.

  96. Goodnight loverlies.

  97. I’ve been doing it manually for awhile.

    I’ll just go ahead and leave that low-hanging fruit there. Time for bed.

  98. Leon,
    When I looked at Lowes on the web, it estimated $97 to do the install. I figured: “How hard can it be? Why would I pay 50% of the purchase-price when I could do it myself?”
    Now that I’ve done one, I figure I could easily cut the time in half. Say two and a half hours. If you’ve got something else you need to be doing, and YOU do, it would be well worth it.
    It’s the same opener we had put in the attached-garage, when we built this house. It’s nice and quiet, and you can ‘lock’ it, when you’re away.
    Comes with two remotes, an exterior key-pad (that you can program) and a remote sensor for the house, that tells you if the door is open.
    I like it.

  99. ^^HAHA!^^

  100. Hi.

    SoCal Edison cut the power to the house all day.

    Which one of you fuckholes gave them that idea?

  101. Sorry.

    There was a reward.

  102. >> Which one of you fuckholes gave them that idea?

    SHUD-DAAAAAAAAP

  103. **tackles Cyn**

    **gives her “the blackout”**

  104. That was me.

  105. This door-opener is also available, although the price may vary:

    http://tinyurl.com/c3um9u

  106. I’d torture Scott, but really, once you live with a humpback, what is there that I can do to him?

  107. Heh.

  108. I’m outta here cool kids. I’m looking at a 12 hour work day tomorrow, half of which will be on the road (that I’m not exactly used to). Sleepy time.

    Sweet Dreams

  109. Slacker.

  110. new poat

  111. Ooops! Missed saying g’night to Cyn.

    Just finished watching another episode of “No Reservations” and cleaning the kitchen after supper.

    Sorry about your power Xbrad. I wondered if today was the day for your sis’s award thingy.

    Yes?


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