Where’s Mare?

Is that her under there?

Or over there behind that bear?

Or is she hiding in her lair?

Or perhaps she’s gone to the fair.

Or maybe she’s tied to a chair

Does anyone really care? Care about the lovely Mare?

352 Comments

  1. …..from below…..

    *snicker*

    Cyn – That second video is the one I’m talking about. They are playing it every commercial break.

    *brushes hair back behind my ears*

  2. Great post.

  3. Great post.

    thanks!

  4. Best post ever. Hopefully some sunglasses or world of wart-crap spam comes along to hand out the prizes, cos I’m pretty short right now.

  5. Who are we going to blame now? It really only works if Mare is here.

  6. Don’t count on it Stark.

    Hell; we don’t even get lace wigs here.

    Now, if you’re in need of some male medications or planing tools, you’re in the right place.

  7. Mare will return when I am good and finished with her.

  8. Cute post.

  9. *Gives medal back to wiser for poating a poat that doesn’t suck, for a change.*

  10. Wherever she is, it’s fantastic to not be meeting her.

  11. *Gives medal back to wiser for poating a poat that doesn’t suck, for a change.*

    YAAAAAAAAAAAYYYYYY!!!!!

  12. *hopes wiser doesn’t notice the wad of chewing gum I stuck on the back of the medal*

  13. Hey, when do I get my medal back?

  14. So wiser’s stalking mare now?

    *Cancels restraining order*

  15. *Cancels restraining order*

    You were too easy. You wanted it.

  16. SRSLY, though – does anyone know where Mare is?

    Cute poat, BTW

  17. *peeks into the thread*

  18. Weren’t Mare’s daughters both home? Very funny post BTW

  19. When you close your eyes and go to sleep. . .

    http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=HwT9ltDBG14

  20. The Americans are leaving – here come the Episcopalians!

    http://edition.cnn.com/2011/WORLD/asiapcf/06/28/afghanistan.kabul.attack/index.html?eref=edition

    (This happened about 30 minutes ago, so it’s still a developing story, apparently)

  21. Mmmm hmmm. They always blame the victim.

  22. *drives slowly through poat on a squeaky red tricycle*

  23. Lauraw = Artie Johnson?

  24. Very interesting. . . . . . . . . . but stupid.

  25. http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=zlm4O_ltgtk

  26. boy, we are dating ourselves here, huh?

  27. Not me, that shit was way before my time.

  28. Well, I’m back from my daily trip to Hell. It was particularly hot in there today.

    When can i get a drink?

  29. Satan Bitch wouldn’t even talk to me today. Just glared at me when I said “Hi.”

    Anybody know who has The Woodchipper™?

  30. Screw ’em, Hotspur! BTW – Are they Persian?

  31. No. I won’t work for them.

  32. Who is Satan Bitch, Hotspur?

  33. Who is Satan Bitch, Hotspur?

  34. new comment motherfucker must DIE

  35. Heh, let’s see if we can get a long string of hunchback heads going down the page here.

  36. Like my new burlap hump cover? I made it from a sack I found in the rail yard.

  37. Here, let me help you with that church bell.

  38. *ruins Lauraw’s fun*

  39. *drags a louse from out of hair, eats it*

  40. Bring it, Bitch!

  41. *slings Revvy over my shoulder and climbs the Empire State Building*

  42. Satan Bitch is the wife of Satan Asshole, Ret.

    As my countertop guy was leaving the jobsite today he said “Man, I really feel for you. You know they put their last contractor out of business. He had a nervous breakdown at the end and couldn’t finish the job.”

    Lovely.

  43. Okay, I’m off to the ghetto bar.

    I need a drink.

  44. *plays dead so maybe Lauraw will lose interest*

  45. So we just installed an instant messenger-twitter-thing at work. A girl from Costa Rica wants me to invite her to Florida to see what its all about. I don’t know this girl, but I’m thinking I’ll send her a picture of my dick.

    You know, you don’t understand how crazy people are until you type it out.

  46. NOBODY MOVE

    I dropped a contact lens!

    *gets in car and drives home*

  47. MJ, the day we installed ccmail in our recruiting station, a female recruiter in Ft. Wayne asked if I wanted to hop a Space A flight (ie, deadhead on a military transport) to Key West.

    I was all for Space A, and pretty OK with Key West. Too bad the female recruiter in question looked more like Wiserbud than Mare.

  48. . . . the female recruiter in question looked more like Wiserbud than Mare.

    Sounds like just your type, xBrad.

  49. “Man, I really feel for you. You know they put their last contractor out of business. He had a nervous breakdown at the end and couldn’t finish the job.”

    They don’t know me. You want, I could drive to Ann Arbor and fuck with them?

  50. I still prefer quality over quantity.

  51. Cyn, you have to trim long-haired pig’s bums. They tend to get matted with poos or they pee all over themselves and stay wet.

    I can’t believe we left that last thread.

  52. Anybody know who has The Woodchipper™?

    I only know who has Teh Muddler™.

    No one tells me anything.

  53. Well, I’m back from my daily trip to Hell. It was particularly hot in there today.

    You were in Texas* today? And you didn’t stop by and say Hello?

    *It’s hotter-n-Hell here today

  54. Just crossed the MO river. That sumbish is high.

  55. Apparently the grand-dog (which we “inherited”) has taken over the duty of informing me when the oldest dog needs to go outside…..

  56. That is a good pooch, TiFW.

  57. Beasn – Here’s the reason. . .

    http://www.sondrakistan.com/?p=7061

  58. Just spent the last 2 hours in pool… Working on tan. Watched the little pool waterfalls. Checked on the lemons and limes maturing on the trees. Tough life, huh…

  59. Rebecca got hold of my camera the other day (but I didn’t realize it until I downloaded some pictures I took today). Most of them are your typical “Kid gets hold of camera – lots of pictures of the floor ensue”, but she ended up with a really cute one of the grand-dog:

  60. That’s a VERY cute grand-dog, TiFW.

  61. I saw that.

    No flooding here Chief, the last big one that hit the valley in ’93 or was it ’95? (flood plain which was great for farming), they built a super reinforced levy……..now there are a ton of busiesses down there.

    And ‘downstream’ St.Charles, old town is right on the river, I haven’t heard a call for sandbaggers.

    Not sure what will happen further down.

  62. TiFW, Peaches does that same stance when she wants to play. Very cute.

  63. A lot of folks too, who lived along the river, north of here, were shut out.

  64. She’s a beast, XBrad – part Labrador and part Whippet. Our city lot isn’t nearly big enough for her, so she takes her energy out on the rest of us.

    She’s a sweetheart, though (the cats would disagree with me – she wants to play with them, but she’s a little too overeager for their comfort…..)

  65. I was all for Space A, and pretty OK with Key West. Too bad the female recruiter in question looked more like Wiserbud than Mare.
    —————————-
    I’m sure you still did it.

    We had to shut down this yammer™ thing within the first few days because someone sent a lewd photo. BAD IDEA JEANS.

  66. 3 miles on new shoes. It was ok. Did it take you a long time to break them in?

  67. No, not too long.

  68. Cathy, have you ever posed like that in front of a dog?

    They go nuts when you speak their language.

  69. They don’t know me. You want, I could drive to Ann Arbor and fuck with them?

    No, they’re both going straight to hell when they die. That’s good enough for me.

  70. So…. wouldn’t you want them to go to heaven, H/S? I mean, you don’t wanna spend eternity with ’em!

  71. When I saw that picture, I began to understand why Rebecca is sometimes hesitant to play with the dog – she’s a lot closer to the dog’s face than we are……

  72. I mean, you don’t wanna spend eternity with ’em!

    I already am.

  73. http://tinyurl.com/3ud5rul

  74. Yes, Scott. I’ve gotten swatted by a playful paw a few times too.

  75. Poor Pupster:

    http://tinyurl.com/3bbcy6l

  76. That’s a cute dog TiFW and Rebecca took a good pic

  77. Made up examples of my time in Utah

    Me: oh look at that pretty silver blah blah blah

    Mil: that’s not silver, it’s pewter

    Me: oh kids, look at that cool cloud

    Mil: that’s not a cloud it’s a vapor trail

    Me: my shoes are wet from stepping in that puddle

    Mil: that’s not wet, it’s damp

  78. I wouldn’t do it.

    Honestly. My husband would have to take the kids by himself.

  79. I don’t know why I hide in the basement the entire time we’re here

  80. That’s not an example, that’s an anecdote

  81. Pjm. That is one sorry assed bitch. You will walk away from that pain… She lives in it 24/7. You will survive. Huggz.

  82. *tackles Peej, gives her ‘the family hospitality’ *

  83. Got some similar experiences… Not gonna share details. Suffice it to say that when my kiddos grew to adulthood, they figured it out and are better people for it.

  84. Peej is nicer than me.

    If “grandma” ever wants to see her grandkids, I control that shit.

    If mama ain’t happy, NO one is happy.

  85. “That’s not an example, that’s an anecdote”

    *shoots self

  86. PJ, you owe it to her, as a loving daughter in law, to kill her now and bury her body in a shallow grave.

    It’s fun for the whole family!

  87. That’s not an example, that’s an anecdote

    *spews cola out the nose*

    HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!

  88. *shoots self

    That’s not a gun, it’s a lighter.

  89. Xbad, we should have Russ and Jay show up with the pick axes, shovels, and lime. Gotta have the lime.

  90. haha, I have some sort of weird amnesia.

    I tell pjd, please whatever you do, don’t draw attention to me…..as you all know, I have no problem being an attention whore, but not here.

    It’s to the point where I’m stupid about it. We were at a gas station eating lunch today and I wanted a Peppermint Patty, so I asked pjd for some money because I didn’t bring my wallet.

    He left his in the car and so he asks his mom for money so I can get one.

    I was just cringing. Do.not.focus on me.

  91. Did pjd get the stink eye?

  92. Laura’s comment was funny wasn’t it cyn. I’m so wound tight I almost didn’t get it for a second……then it cracked me up

    *shoots self in face with lighter
    *renames self Richard Pryor

  93. …than I.

  94. “Did pjd get the stink eye?”

    bwahaha

    I had a chat with him while she was in the bathroom because I had a chat with him earlier because he’s not getting it…..enough.

    I am making progress though because he is seeing it and I’m not being a pouty little bitch, but I’m calmly pointing it out…every.single.time

  95. Good on you…

  96. MOM!!!! PJM WANTS CANDY AND DOESN’T HAVE ANY MONEY! CAN YOU LEND ME A $5 SO PJM CAN HAVE HER CANDY??!!!

  97. “…than I.”

    Forget it. You people just put me out of my misery, ok?

    I’ve been arguing with people on the Internet all day to make me feel better.

    And I can’t even blame mare because she’s not here.

  98. Thanks mcpo. It’s the worst being the fattest person in the room wanting candy. Just shout it out!

  99. Yeah, that whore is in deep shit with us.

  100. Airdale ♥ PJM!

    Even though Mormons don’t drink, PJM brought her own whine.

  101. Did anybody go back and scan her comments to see if she was going out of town or anything?
    I need someone to blame and FAST!

  102. Good one, Chief.

  103. “Even though Mormons don’t drink, PJM brought her own whine.”

    hahaha and see how generous I am? I’m sharing with you.

  104. PJ, you should get an air horn and blast her every time she does that.

    That’s not a cloud its a HHHHOOOOOOONNNNNNNNNNNKKKKKKKKK
    That’s not silver its HHHHOOOOONNNNNNKKKKKKKKKK

    If you still have a smart phone, I suggest the free air horn app.

  105. That ain’t fat, thems mammary glands.

    *sends Pj a Peppermint Patty*

  106. I suggest iGun.

  107. HAHAHAHA!!! Scott I laughed so hard Madeleine came over and asked what it was about. Too bad I couldn’t tell her.

    Graham, however is old enough to see what’s going on. He just took off skateboarding

  108. Ooo my poor Peej. I come up there and kick her ass*!!!

    *but only if you’ve previously secured her ATM pin and credit cards*

  109. awwwwwww, if I was a dude I’d hit beasn……in the good way

  110. I had a chat with him while she was in the bathroom because I had a chat with him earlier because he’s not getting it…..enough.

    Fortunately, Mr. Beasn knows his mother. She has dropped hints to me about stuff, but I would ignore them and hee haw to him about them. Then she would straight out say things to him like, ‘Do you think Beasn can clean up a little around here?’

    His response, ‘Mom, I am a happy man, and I like my life, why do you want me to be unhappy?’

    She threw up her hands and said, ‘ Then I will say no more’.

  111. I got the cash, cyn.

    Beasn, pjd is too weak.

    Hey, has wiserbud given pa’s hubby the money yet? I wanted to hear about his reaction.

    Or is wiserbud on a cruise ship in the Bahamas right now?

  112. PJ, how many more days do you have in the basement?

    Eventually you are going to get old and cranky like most of us and stop hiding.

  113. Well I leave the basement every day when we do outdoor activities, but then I crawl back in.

    We leave onSunday……but we get to hang with my fil on Friday at his house so that’ll be fun.

    The thing is, when we come to Utah, my mil spends a LOT of cash taking the kids to the movies, the water park, museums and what not and I could never afford to let them do all this

    So I suck it up and sob to you guys

    It’s……….for the children

  114. Well, then, let her spend time and money on them and you stay in the basement and play with us. You get them the rest of the year.

  115. Besides, it’s not the buying of things that creates memories or love.

  116. It would be very generous of me to hang out in the basement as I would be saving her money.

  117. Know what would be nice?

    Rearrange her bookcase tomorrow while they are out.

    I bet she would like that.

  118. Macaroni and Cheese made with Mexican Velveeta is not half bad.

  119. White Castles padded with fries and ketchup are pretty good too.

  120. I’m working hard to stay awake over here, boss.

  121. PJM, check your FaceChimp message.

  122. “Rearrange her bookcase tomorrow while they are out.”

    *replaces all Mormon books with Catholic books

  123. Cathy – Herself mailed off a package to you today. Dead hobo togs or some such.

  124. *peeks in, sees that Peej isn’t quite miserable enough*
    *whispers*

    If only you had a tablet……

    *flits off – my work here is done*

  125. Thanks Chief.

  126. It’s the worst being the fattest person in the room wanting candy.

    Psssht. I’ve met you. You are voluptuous and juicy.

    You are young and gorgeous and impetuous, with beautiful hot sexy eyes.

    It’s no wonder you stole her son away from her controlling clutches, the miserable old crone.

  127. Your mil is jealous, pjm. You got all the things she wants. Smarts, beautiful sexyness, great kids, good relationships with them… AND you got her son.

  128. ..and another thing; you’re funny.

    I bet that old bat ain’t funny. Probably the funniest thing she could ever do is burst into flames and fall off a cliff.

    I’d laugh, anyway.

  129. Oops. Said stuff Laura said. Guess it is true then.

    More. Facexhimp mail, pjm. Hugs.

  130. Plus, PJ, you have nice bewbs.

  131. She’s taking a week-long beating where her only choices are to get run down or hide.
    Go on and pile on, Cathy! It won’t be wasted.

  132. Peej, you should smack your MIL square in the puss – your choice of which one, upper or lower! You should follow that up with this warning, “Cut the shit or there’s more where that came from.” You should immediately walk into her favorite room in her house, squat and pee, then say to her, “There’s more where that came from, too, if need be.”

  133. I bet that old bat ain’t funny. Probably the funniest thing she could ever do is burst into flames and fall off a cliff.”

    Oh my gawd that made my night…..and so did the other stuff.

    HAHAHA! I love you, man

    and you other hostages too

    *sigh
    I have to leave the basement for a little while

    bbl

  134. I’m known for being subtle.

  135. I can show you. . .

    http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=MPjDMZiuhbQ

  136. Toss a couple of flash bangs and some smoke grenades into the kitchen, crawl in on your belly, and jump right up in front of her face and yell “HI!! WHAT’S FOR DINNER?”

    I bet that would be funny.

  137. Dave, particularly if done nekkid!

  138. I am sorry that you have to go through this crap.
    I couldn’t do it.

    Have you tried threatening to kick her ass?

  139. See, guys handle this kinda shit differently.

    “STFU if you ever want to see these children again, you estrogen-deprived, humorless ginch!”

    Problem solved.

  140. Heh. Next time you won’t get up.

  141. I’m envisioning Celebrity DeathMatch™

    Here ya go!

  142. Our tax dollars at work.

    We gave them phones to “find work”.

    http://online.wsj.com/article/SB10001424052702304778304576375661383528354.html

  143. Sounds to me like the union wants to START the fight:

    “If a company makes the bad business decision to engage in anti-union activity, suppress the rights of freedom of speech and assembly, we will launch a global campaign to brand that company a human-rights violator,” King said in a Jan. 12 speech in Detroit. “We do not want to fight, but we will not run from a fight.”

    Too bad for them that NOBODY in these plants wants to be in a union…..

    http://weaselzippers.us/2011/06/28/uaw-threatens-to-brand-foreign-auto-plants-in-the-south-human-rights-violators-if-they-dont-unionize/

  144. Did anybody give anybody else a wedgie today?

  145. From Ace’s sidebar (foul language): http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=sv3tadz5Q3o#t=15

    I love her cute little moves.

  146. Flash mobs – large groups of young males.

    No doubt, no daddies. Unfortunately, we all have to reap what the left has sewn.

  147. ” See guys handle this kinda shit differently”. MCPO, my husband used to golf to avoid my toxic Mom. After 36 holes in one day, he told my Mom she wasn’t to speak to me like that again and she wasn’t welcome in our home until she could treat me with respect. My Mom hasn’t stayed with us in 11 years.

  148. I used a sand wedgie on number 3 and an approach wedgie on number 7. So, technically, I gave myself two wedgies today.

  149. What the hell is Sean doing up during the day?

    OH http://i.imgur.com/AXGGe.jpg

  150. yeah, but Chief – did you make the wedgie stick?

  151. One time Mrs. Dave got a little put out with my mom so she cut her into bite size pieces with a kurki and a sand wedge, and put all the little bloody hunks in some freezer bags (only about a dozen or so, mom was tiny), and shoved em all in the spare freezer in the garage, then she came inside and said “she just needed a little ‘me’ time”.

    Worked out pretty good.

  152. I’m so very lucky to have a really sweet MIL –

  153. I can’t help but think that Dave might be what’s known in literary circles as an “unreliable narrator.”

  154. GML – I can “back up” anything from an 8 iron to a sand wedge, given the right lie.

  155. My mil is deader than a doornail. Mrs. Pendejo’s mil is still alive an a bit of a pain in the ass.

  156. I’ve never met my MIL.

  157. I’ve never met my MIL.

    She wasn’t bad. A bit of a screamer though.

  158. I’m sure my MIL disapproves of me in a couple of ways, but I don’t think she actually hates me.

    Though- if she did hate me, I would never know. She’s a toughie/sweetie who pushes her case insistently, but she is also very consciously a properly raised lady, and decorum rules in her house and head.

    Honestly, if she ever started a dispute with me, I’d naturally assume it was my fault and probably roll over like a startled cur.

  159. PG, you would know more than I.

  160. That shit totally happened.

    All seriousness aside, my mom and the Mrs. got along pretty well. Moms can be moms, and occassionally a poorly expressed thought can rub us all the wrong way, but they loved each other, weren’t afraid to express disagreements, and treated each other pretty well.

    That did not extend to me. I suspect having the common enemy was what held them together all those years.

  161. I’ve never been married, so I’ve never had to deal with in-laws.

  162. LuaraW – You could well be describing my mother as well.

  163. Gonna double down on the sweetie part. She is pretty awesomely huggable and nice.

    We have good conversations. And I taught her how to steal plants from public property.*

    I have never stolen plants. From anywhere, ever. Actually, I’ve never stolen anything**, ever, but my older sister’s jean jacket, which was a retribution thing and I still feel guilty about it – but I digress.

    I’ve never stolen plants from public property because 1) it’s wrong to steal, and most importantly, 2) because I know I could never get away with it.

    I told her she could do it and it would be a snap, and she did it. She astonished me. I didn’t think she would actually do it.

    *Just overgrown divisions that we saw had rolled off the main plants. She was just cleaning up, and doing the gardeners’ work, not plucking whole specimens. I am still certain that I would be swiftly caught in the act, publicly humiliated, prosecuted and put to death for trying this. My own mother convinced me of this when I was five y/o.

    **except for that time I helped my Dad strip some parts off an abandoned TR6 when I was thirteen. I was only following orders.

  164. This is pretty cool.

    http://news.yahoo.com/ring-turns-51-years-flushed-down-toilet-154953127.html

  165. Cool story, Dave.

  166. Whose turn is it to get me an alcoholic beverage?

  167. I’d take a drink too who’s ever getting up.

  168. That ring is worth shit now.

  169. **Looks at Cathy**

  170. And now is the time on Sprockets when we dance….:

    http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=uz4eHPD40w4&feature=BFp&list=PL53DE4DC510103541&index=28

  171. LuaraW – You could well be describing my mother as well.

    Man, they just don’t make them like that anymore. Just all grace, you know?

    She turned 80 last Autumn. May she enjoy 80 more. Lady takes good care of herself, wouldn’t be surprised if she gets close.

  172. Never got to ‘share’ my man with his mom. She died a year before we married, but we would have been good friends… AND we would have ganged up on Michael. I wish! Hahaha.

    She liked me. She knew I was tough, like her, and she left me her wedding ring.

  173. Two shots of 18 y/o single malt for xBrad – neat and a Cape Cod for Cyn. . . coming right up!

  174. LauraW – Cancer took my Mom way too young. I can still see her putting on her gloves to go to church.

  175. **raises a toast to MCPO, for bringing the good stuff!**

  176. *takes sip of gin martini*

    *ignores sum bunny*

  177. That ring is worth shit now.

    HA HA HA!
    http://is.gd/n2YBNM

    Ooo…thanks fer the drinkie too.

  178. Whose turn is it to get me an alcoholic beverage?

    I’ll have to see some ID first.

    Lambrusco OK with you? That’s all I’ve got in the fridge –

  179. Never met my MIL either, she passed (cancer too) 5 years before I met her girl.

  180. My MIL used to wear white gloves to go out to the city when she was a youngun. A lady never went out without her gloves, in that day.

  181. Is a sum bunny a rabbit capable of basic mathematics?

  182. I have a pretty decent relationship with my MiL now, but we almost came to blows about 7 years ago. Withholding her grandchildren from a 4th of July event one year pretty much straighten stuff right out.

    *sips Cape Cod and bats eyelashes innocently*

  183. Never met my FIL, he passed just a little while before I met Scott. But he sounded like a great guy, just like his son.

  184. Between Cathy, TiFW, and MCPO, I think I’ll stick to drinking MCPO’s good stuff…

  185. Basic math? Sure. I’ll try anything once.

  186. **sings Irish drinking song

  187. Roamy! You back from business trip?

  188. Basic math? Sure. I’ll try anything once.

    http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=tkdqXfasg80

  189. Nope, still in Wisconsin, doing my best to try all the local beers.

    *hic*

  190. Chief, I’m on my iPad. It ‘corrects’ my spelling.

    I sent pjm a ‘linky’ earlier and it corrected my word to ‘kinky’ so we had a good laugh.

  191. Math fact:

  192. Xbrad I just know you are not into gin.

    Gonna walkPeaches &Rosie.

  193. All the beers in Wisconsin, huh? Gotta give it to ya, you set the bar high.

  194. Cathy – That is the most annoying feature of the iPad/iPod. Samuel Clemens would be appalled at its inclusion.

  195. My MiL and I have come to an arrangement. We don’t pretend to like each other in front of each other, but we pretend in front of other people, so she can feel superior to her sister-in-laws.

    Meanwhile, we have had our moments. Like when she took my newborn daughter from my arms and suggested I wait in the hall for a bit, as my wife was feeling a little run-down after giving birth.

    That little moment was followed up by a rather uncomfortable, yet meaningful conversation.

  196. Simple equation: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=kzkXGIRaxcI

  197. Can’t that autocorrect be shut off? Sounds like a pretty poorly designed product if it cannot.

  198. Jay, I am skipping the crap like Old Milwaukee. Had one called New Glarus Spotted Cow that was excellent. I need to buy some and bring it home to Mr. RFH.

  199. Can’t that autocorrect be shut off?

    Answering that query would require reading the manual – not gonna happen.

  200. Roamie, keep a diary, so I know what to avoid when I get there.

    Someday.

    Damn, I never realized how much I missed traveling……..

  201. New Math:

  202. Wiser, don’t you wish you’d just let her keep your daughter now?

  203. Answering that query would require reading the manual – not gonna happen.

    To turn auto correct off:

    1. Navigate to Settings -> General -> Keyboard

    2. Touch Auto-Correction -> OFF

    You’re welcome.

  204. Wiser, don’t you wish you’d just let her keep your daughter now?

    There are moments.

    And then, there are times when I wouldn’t give her up for the world, like tonight. She had us all laughing so hard, we were crying.

    Cannot imagine where she got her sense of humor. Must be from her mom.

  205. Standard algebra: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=tZoY102X9cM

  206. Great Dane Pub has several good ones, including Verruckte Stadt German Pils. The triple pepper beer is interesting for trying a sample but not a whole pint.

  207. old math

    http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ZOXG8wtxx_w

  208. Must be, Wiser. Must be.

  209. SOLVE FOR X, BITCHES!!

  210. Strange math:

    http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=WLiuMkGCOC4

  211. X= fuck you, I was told there would be no math!

  212. MCPO, just want to throw a little “thank you” for a job well done by the Phillies tonight.

  213. The answer is 42.

  214. Mr. Wolski was my Geometry teacher. He chewed on his mustache and spoke with a sibilance. Probably didn’t get much action in college.

  215. Fast math:

  216. Triple Pepper Beer? Oh yeah!

  217. Wiser – Lee & Halladay are holding it together without much of a bullpen right now.

  218. >> He chewed on his mustache and spoke with a sibilance.

    What did he need his brother for?

  219. Wiser – Lee & Halladay are holding it together without much of a bullpen right now.

    Then it helps even more when he does a complete game, huh?

    Still amazes me that the Yankees couldn’t find enough money to get Lee.

    It’s really gonna suck to have him on the mound when we meet again in the World Series.

  220. Yeah, Jay, it had juice from poblano, jalapeno, and habanero in it. Spicy but not what I really wanted.

  221. What did he need his brother for?

    Somebody throw a can of beer into the pool so we can watch Dave fetch it.

  222. Still amazes me that the Yankees couldn’t find enough money to get Lee.

    Don’t think it was the money. Didn’t the Yankees offer more than the Phillies? Lee just wanted to play for Philadelphia, I guess.

  223. Wiser – I was amazed that Halladay’s complete game against the Athletics was his 63rd! Not sure how many Lee has at this point.

  224. >> Lee just wanted to play for Philadelphia, I guess.

    Ding!

  225. >> Lee just wanted to play for Philadelphia, I guess.

    Everybody has a price. (Yankees motto)

  226. Somebody throw a can of beer into the pool so we can watch Dave fetch it.

    *throws Dave in the pool and drinks a can of beer*

  227. Old Math

    http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=0bAFITGnjrg

  228. Everybody has a price. (Yankees motto)

    And they (almost) always get their guy.

  229. CYN!

  230. LauraW!!?!

  231. And they (almost) always get their guy.

    yeah, last year was a bad year for us…….

  232. LAURA!!

  233. Steinbrenner woulda gotten him to sign.

  234. *evil cackle*

  235. AAAAAARRRRRRRRRRRRRRGGGGGGGGG!

    I hope you two are happy, it will take PJM forever to load this thread on her phone!

  236. *just for my Laura: http://youtu.be/OTvhWVTwRnM *

  237. Steinbrenner woulda gotten him to sign.

    oh hells yeah.

    Probably would have used his kids as part of the negotiation.

    Cashman is a wimp.

  238. Ack, MPO. It was a mistake, I’m just too lazy to login and fix it right now. Going to bed now anyway.

    Oh, Cyn. Cyn, sweet Cyn.

    http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Xz-UvQYAmbg

  239. AAAAAARRRRRRRRRRRRRRGGGGGGGGG!

    HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!!

    love it

  240. Me too. Long day, and the vertigo ain’t completely gone yet. Better than last night though.

  241. Oh Yes Laura!!

  242. Goodnight darling hearts.

  243. For Cyn and lauraw:

    http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=mwcN8TqVFxM

  244. Thank God I was out of the country and missed the whole Starland Vocal band bullshit 70’s.

  245. Good night my sweet sweet Laura. My leopard woman. Rawr.

  246. G’night, Laura & Dave.

  247. BITCH, don’t you know that’s my second-worst earworm IN THE WHOLE WORLD???
    GAAAHHH!

    http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=QVK9BXL74aY

    I keel you. I keel you.

    Tomorrow.

    *points to my eyes then points to your eyes*

  248. A tender melody for wiser:

    http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ZNyiFlZJRhQ&feature=related

  249. @ 11:38 lauraw:

    I ain’t askerred of you.

    *Flees room.*

  250. A tender melody for wiser:

    HAHAHAHAH!!!! *clapclapclapclapclapclapclapclapclap…awwwwww he stopped…..

  251. That one cracked me up, wiser.

  252. I’m out. . . see ya on the flip side!

  253. Evening all. Today I learned that I really DO suck at FPS’s. It’s kinda pathetic.

  254. Revvy, I was a grunt for 12 years. I really suck at FPSs. It’s even more pathetic.

  255. Hey, dipshits, this POC post made me laugh (shut up). I’ve been goofing around with the kids and generally taking an internet break. Every time I read the headlines I felt like punching xbrad in the junk.

    I’m too emotionally involved in the outcome of politics. It’s important because it does affect my life and the lives of those I love….Americans, but I needed a break. Plus, I was doing crap.

    My girls have gone back to school and my husband is out of town and I missed you guys so I checked in. AND THIS IS WHAT I FIND?

    Everyday stuff makes me think of all of you; Gardening, birds, drinking, food, recipes, stupid people, music, covers, latex, visiting Walmart, goats, chickens, kittens, dogs, goats again.

    Take care good people. Love, mare

  256. Evening all. Today I learned that I really DO suck at FPS’s. It’s kinda pathetic.

    heh heh heh.

    Revyy needs more time with MarioKart it seems….

  257. I bought Resident Evil 4. And I suck at it. Here’s my first attempt at playing it:
    Run into this dude’s house. Dude attacks me with an axe and I kill him. Then his buddies show up and I run away. However, what I thought was a lantern on a tree was really a trip-wire bomb. I die.
    Reload, go through the whole thing again, this time avoid the bomb. Get to village full of people, kill a few and then run away as my ammo dwindles. Then run into a dude with a chainsaw who cuts my head off. Rage quit.

  258. Wow. I walk dogs and take a swim and Mare comes and leaves.

    *waves with soulful expression*

  259. Sony can shove their “Standalone players” where the sun don’t shine.

    They’ve managed to ruin my listening pleasure when Mr. TiFW watches TV that I don’t wanna watch.

    Nytol…..

  260. Cutting Revvy’s head off with a chainsaw seems downright rude.

  261. I mean, really – THE ROBERT SHAW CHORALE can’t be on my playlist?

    Who the heck listens to them other than sappy dweeb nerds like me, huh?

    It’s not like you’re making boo-koo royalty bucks off of them…..

  262. Very Rude, xbrad. Especially when 3 shotgun shells to the face only mildly annoy Chainsaw dude.

  263. Just checking in. I’m not dead, I just wish that I was.

  264. Small world.

    Me too!

  265. I dun like using cheats…

  266. I don’t like getting killed by chainsaw wielding maniacs

  267. Yeah, but if I use a cheat it’s admitting to the game that I will never ever beat it fair.

    …. yes I realize how neurotic that sounds. Shut up.

  268. Derp.

  269. well, seems the mare-bait worked.

  270. You coulda just left out some hay.

  271. What. The. Fuck?

  272. Huh?

  273. Eddie – I love how the problem is always that they need more revenue – never that they just need to spend the revenue they have more wisely.

    It’s like a teenager blowing his allowance on junk food, and then trying to explain to his parents that this obviously means they need to give him more allowance.

  274. *Reads Revvy’s comment*

    *Nods approvingly*

    Is West available for in-home consulting gigs?

  275. XD He’ll just tell you to beat your kids more regularly.

  276. Meh. I have that covered.

  277. Ugh. Whatever happened to the whole “No shirt, no shoes, no service” concept?

  278. revvy: yup

  279. Hey, EvB, what did Chuckie Adkins actually say? I couldn’t find anything on that Facechimp page–I think he deleted it.

  280. Rather late on this but Eddie – funny how the UK works. Woman gets threatened with a knife and, lets face it, by sheer luck the idiot didn’t know how to use it and she chased him off. Had she pulled a gun to defend herself she wouldn’t have had to depend on luck, but whether she actually fired or not she’d be in jail.

    Not to belittle the woman, what she did was very brave, and her dog is a good one. But had her attacker actually known how to use a knife properly, the situation would have gone a whole other way.

  281. funny how the UK works.

    I know what you mean, but “funny” isn’t exactly the right word.

    I’m pretty sure “fucked” is more like it.

  282. Dammit, why didn’t any of you kill me in my sleep?

  283. Wake wakey

  284. “STFU if you ever want to see these children again, you estrogen-deprived, humorless ginch!”

    See, MCPO and I see things eye to eye. I would burst out and say it like that, but That would be the end effect.

    She needs to realize that she has THEM because of YOU, not in spite of.

  285. Since none of you have done me the favor of shuffling me off this mortal coil, I’m off to work/house/gym/work/house.

  286. would= wouldn’t

  287. So apparently our nephew is teething and screams a lot. He’s coming to stay with us for a week. What should we do?

    Wait. Lemme rephrase. What should my wife do to keep the baby kinda happy?

  288. Flip him upside down and put his penis in her mouth. I read it in a book somewhere. Maybe that book by that tiger mom chick?

  289. Moisten some washcloths, roll them up and freeze them.

    Works on puppies.

  290. Put some alcohol in the bottle. That should take care of things.

    Honestly, I just gave them some tylenol if things got too bad. I never remember the teething thing being anything more than a passing issue. Hour here or there.

    Of course, being a nursing mom I think that gave them much of the comfort they needed.

  291. From Eddie’s link about the CA budget, evidently they are going to have 8 billion in unanticipated income? What?

    So the CA economy is doing that well? New budget without trimming state employee over the top benefits?

    http://weaselzippers.us/2011/06/29/overworked-president-schedules-another-vacation-to-marthas-vineyard/

    Really? Really? Examples of why I need to stay off the internet.

  292. I didn’t nurse, so I guess a refrigerated teething ring and cuddling gave my kids much of the comfort they needed.

  293. I didn’t nurse, so I guess a refrigerated teething ring and cuddling gave my kids much of the comfort they needed.

    Honestly, I was just thinking back and couldn’t remember any of them having a difficult time nursing. When something was wrong – they were sick – they usually wanted to nurse a lot. Prolly lazy of me at the time, but it worked.

  294. I remember nursing….

    http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Jwr9EEMwIBo

  295. MJ, on the teething question… I stuck my clean thumb in my baby’s mouth and let them bite down with full force.

    G’morning.

  296. I nursed too, but teething started at 6 months and went until about 18 months or so. We stopped the nursing before the teething… And a nice hard thumb seemed more to their liking… And it hurt me less.

  297. Mare!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

  298. Thanks for the suggestions. Apparently little Judah is a screamer.

    Don’t worry, I’ll be find. I have earplugs.

    And also…Mare!

  299. Oh yea, Hi Mare! I can still remember that first time we never met…

  300. Good Morning

  301. This is really good. Also a quote from a commenter at Lucianne:

    http://www.americanthinker.com/2011/06/the_un-american_american_president.html

    “His mother hated the USA, his dad hated the USA, his step-dad hated the USA. His schools in Indonesia hated the USA. His college buddies hated the USA. His pastor of 20 years hates the USA and his associates in Chicago hate the USA.”

  302. Hey there Cyn – how you durn? ;-)

  303. Mare, I can’t believe you’re poating racist stuff so early in the day.

    Someone spike your coffee?

  304. In other news, Palin and Obama were in Iowa yesterday, and Palin got top billing in the news reports this morning.

    It was lovely.

  305. My kids didn’t make too much of a fuss about teething either (but I did give them lots of cold stuff to suck on sywm). But my oldest drooled A LOT. Her whole shirt would be wet, we laugh at the pictures now.

  306. What did you expect in California? It’s Jerry Brown, for pete’s sake. He’s just doing the same thing he did before, and all dems have done after. Make shit up!

    Yeah, 8 billion is gonna magically appear. Maybe Arnold has political babies all over the world, and California can collect child support payments for them.

    Hey, it’s just as plausible as 8 billion magically appearing.

  307. Bachmann was there as well, correct?

    The left keeps comparing her to Palin, or dismissing her as an idiot. I would suggest this behavior means they are scared to confront, or think about her positions.

  308. Was Bachmann here yesterday? I thought she was here earlier this week.

    If she was here yesterday, I don’t remember, and the Des Moines Register doesn’t either. There’s no story on it.

    They are marginalizing Bachmann just like Palin, you are correct. When you find something that works, you stick with it. And it worked with Palin.

  309. Glad your back Mare. Missed ya.

  310. I know, Carin, I’m usually racist around 3:00 pm or so. But seriously, do any of you get “can’t stomach douchy politician” overload?

    Really, I’ve had it with the crazy I read every day. I needed a break and evidently still need one.

    Do the right fricken thing even if it’s painful. Have you guys seen this? I love it and it even talks smack about my boyfriend:

    http://americandigest.org/mt-archives/citizens/ann_barnhardt_the_raw_tru.php

  311. Was Bachmann here yesterday? I thought she was here earlier this week.
    ——————-
    Maybe it was earlier this week. She mentions Iowa everyday, trying to keep a connection, I guess.

  312. Thanks, Cathy.

    But I think I still need a time out.

    It’s 8:20 and it’s 78 degrees on its way to 102. Should go jogging now or pick out a movie to chill out in?

  313. Where’s Scott? I need pictures of kittens.

  314. Ugh, get the run in, now. It’s supposed to be high nineties tomorrow up here. Which means sauna time, since we’ve had a lot of rain. The humidity is gonna be horrible.

  315. Had dinner with friends last night. One of the girls, originally from Russia, joined the CG reserves so that she could get citizenship faster. Plus she’s an ultra hot lesbian.

    How cool is that?

  316. Comment by mare on June 29, 2011 9:18 am
    I know, Carin, I’m usually racist around 3:00 pm or so. But seriously, do any of you get “can’t stomach douchy politician” overload?
    Really, I’ve had it with the crazy I read every day. I needed a break and evidently still need one.

    I don’t watch mainstream media, l limit where I visit on the intertewbs, do physical work, read the Bible every day, have time with Christian friends socially on a regular basis, and pray about what has me so concerned… Otherwise I’d need meds and a straight jacket

  317. Oh, I saw Cars 2 and IT SUCKED! All four of us went and thought it was boring and the IN YOUR FACE (SLAPPED HARD) message that alternative fuels…good…..big oil….bad storyline made me puke. FU Pixar!

  318. Ultra hot Russian Coast Guard reservist lesbian?

    Pics or it didn’t happen.

  319. Durn good,Guy, but still kinda waking up! This might help:

    Et tu?

  320. Looks like Cyn likes her morning joe a little, umm, thick.

  321. Cathy, you may not believe me, but I haven’t watched TV news in over 10 years. I only get my news from the internet. That’s why I have to step away from the computer. And you are right, prayer helps and I need to do more of it. Being around my girls really was a great distraction.

  322. That was a good vid mare. The truth shall set us free

  323. Only a guy or a lesbian would think we need more lesbians in this country.

  324. It’s chilly here today. 50s right now. Al gore must be in the state

  325. I’m kind of fricken sick of lesbians.

  326. Mare, did you see that I was touring the wine area of Michigan this past weekend?

    Brought back a case . Yum

  327. I think we should give visas to Chippendale dancers. We need more stupid hot guys in this country.

  328. Heh, mare, you aren’t missing much, re: TV news. I watch in the mornings, and the picture portrayed by them is much different than the picture I get from my own research. It makes me wonder if it’s my sources, but I don’t think so. I’ll admit that I skew right in my sources, but that doesn’t mean I don’t see the left side.

  329. I did see one group of lesbians on my trip. Shudder.

  330. Mare, did you see that I was touring the wine area of Michigan this past weekend?

    No, I really don’t know what’s going on. I’m praying no Hostage got sick or maimed while I was away.

    I knew that Michigan produced wine, I didn’t know it had a “wine country.” Very, very cool…..pictures?

  331. I saw a “couple” (as in couple) of old, fat lesbians at a Texas Rangers game…..shudder.

  332. Chippendale dancers are mostly gay , mare. We need more military guys.

    Hubby was joking thAt the next time we here one of these Keynesian assholes talking about government spending to improve the economy, we should go full board and suggest we expand the military. We don’t need make work construction. More grunts!

  333. #1 son and Doctor Girlfriend are in Ludington, MI today and going to Traverse City later this week.

  334. I absolutely skew right in my sources. On purpose.

    During the election cycle when I would be listening to Rush (or anyone else) I would laugh when the argument for net neutrality would come up. After every segment, an FCC required (can’t remember every half hour or 15 minutes) news piece would come on and give a MSM take on the news of the day.

  335. I have one cool picture. I’ll have to figure out how to post it.

    Up by Traverse City ; that’s where there are vineyard everywhere. In the peninsula by there. It’s beautiful. We went wine tasting. It was great fun.

  336. “We need more military guys.”

    AMEN!!!!!!!

  337. Yeah, we don’t need more gay men in this country. Screw you, Chippendales.

  338. Has anyone else noticed I’m a 78 year old man?

  339. Yea, the lesbians were an older group. Not a pretty sight.

  340. Mare, I like Ann Barnhart vids. She makes me laugh. Her perspective on things needs to be spread around more. I think Ryan is clear about his ideas being a start. I never got the impression that he wants to preserve Medicare and social security as is. Our Geoff did a great piece on some of this when the Ryan plan first came out.

    Our biggest problem in this country is not Medicare and social security… It’s stupid, greedy,spiritually vacuous people. Ryan knows that to at least make a dent in the financial crisis, he must appeal on some level to these kinds of voters. Ryan is not the problem in my book. But he also is not the entire solution.

  341. Cathy, I agree with everything you said.

    Ann is simply telling the truth and really, she’s right. But turning the Titanic around is, well, too late?

    Citizens today have not learned/been trained/lived the lifestyle of:

    “save for the future….plan for retirement….depend on yourself….help family and friends who fall on bad times through no fault of their own.”

  342. Crap. I need to atop talking serious and join in talking about hot guys. Military yummies! How about real cowboys and farmers? Yum!

  343. Hot real men to add to the list: kick ass FBI agents. Builders of stuff.
    Muscle that works to feed a family and protect society. Yum!

  344. Palate cleanser:

    http://tinyurl.com/42mo3y9

  345. NEW POAT

  346. Need caffeinne. And time away from the computer.

    Hope you come back later Mare. I’ve really missed ya.

  347. Kinda late to the party (Rebecca is very high maintenance in the a.m.). To answer MJ’s question:

    So apparently our nephew is teething and screams a lot. He’s coming to stay with us for a week. What should we do? Wait. Lemme rephrase. What should my wife do to keep the baby kinda happy?

    Well, Mr. TiFW’s grandmother offered us her bottle of whiskey when DD#1 was very young – you rub it on their gums. Then you take a snort or two yourself – everybody’s happy.

    Or you can get some popsicles or those “ice pops” in the plastic wrap that you put in the freezer. Unless mom and dad are “anti-sugar”. Another good thing is a frozen Eggo waffle – take it out of the freezer and give it to Junior to gum on. Since it’s frozen, it will be semi-hard, and the little pockets soak up all of the drool.

    The bonus with that method is that he gets fed at the same time – as the waffle unthaws, he can eat it!


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