Silent Pontifications

So, I was walking on the beach this morning, just getting in touch with my feelings.

catching up on my correspondence;  ya know, texts, emails and such…

Wondering how grandma was getting along with that gift card I sent her…

and trying to remember if I left the door open for the dog.

371 Comments

  1. you wish you were first!

  2. Poon tang!

  3. I’ve been first before. It’s too much work. I’d rather be second. They appreciate you more.

  4. I needed to say that because I fear that combo of words may be nearing extinction.

  5. Okay, third sucks.

  6. lemon party!

  7. Okay, after the comments from the guys on the last thread, I hugged my wife and thanked her for being awesome.

  8. you should leon. she sounds awesoem

  9. “I’m not sure she was serious, and I’m not in the mood anyhow. Too hungry.”

    Are you out of your fucking mind???????

  10. I think maybe we already scared off the new chick.

  11. I hope you did Leon, I remember blowjobs fondly. Every time I get one I immediately send in my quarterly tax payments… they seem to coincide.

  12. I love you lipstick.

    Bite me. You knew someone would be your guinea pig. 😉

  13. I think maybe we already scared off the new chick.

    – – – – – –

    quit farting Cbird!

    *licks eyebrows again*

  14. oh crap. I forgot there was a new thread

  15. GML, you have my sympathies. I’m sure my access to them will narrow/end at some point, too.

  16. Bite me. You knew someone would be your guinea pig

    I wonder about all the retards that “like” it everytime it pops up on that fb group’s wall. It was the “I love my husband” group. I decided to unlike that group. Does that mean I don’t love pjd anymore? We’ll see tonight when he gets home.

  17. GML, you have my sympathies. I’m sure my access to them will narrow/end at some point, too.

    – – – – –

    yea, no matter how I decorate him or what flavors I dip him in – its still the same ol’ unit after 19 years.

    *heads back to beach*

  18. PJM, from the last thread: what’s wrong with touching tongues?

    A female friend of mine in college used to get free drinks out of doing that with her gal friends. None of them were gay, but guys would buy drinks just to watch.

  19. I hope you did Leon, I remember blowjobs fondly

    I don’t do bj’s. I just force pjd to have sex with me several times a day. I’m sure he feels cheated, but too damn bad.

  20. No ………. that would work too, Peej.

    Just sayin ….

  21. oh……my………..gawd.

    I actually just looked at the post for the first time. HAHAHA! WTF? @ the old lady in the men’s pajama bottoms

  22. Are her boobs so low that they can be covered with pants?!

  23. That is a sight that can never be unseen.

  24. I don’t do bj’s. I just force pjd to have sex with me several times a day. I’m sure he feels cheated, but too damn bad.

    I had a girlfriend like that. I missed them because I couldn’t have them. Poor PJD.

  25. Are her boobs so low that they can be covered with pants?!

    hahahaha, it’s pretty nasty

  26. Poor PJD.

    He’ll live. He can hardly handle sex that much.

  27. Did I just say that out loud?

  28. Why am I not surprised that woman appears to be lingering in the fresh pork section of the meat case?

  29. *tightens belt under armpits*

    H8TRZ

  30. Are her boobs so low that they can be covered with pants?!

    HA! Clint always makes me feel better about myself!

  31. *tightens belt under armpits*

    H8TRZ

    Nonsense. I’d give you a bj any day.

  32. Why am I not surprised that woman appears to be lingering in the fresh pork section of the meat case?

    Hey now, ain’t nothing wrong with fresh pork. You lay off the pigmeat, bub.

  33. This is how I give BJ’s leon

    http://www.break.com/usercontent/2007/7/6/best-bj-326517

  34. Are her boobs so low that they can be covered with pants?!/i>

    I’m guessing she cuffs her nipples to keep them from being underfoot.

  35. Hey now, ain’t nothing wrong with fresh pork

    …bacon…

  36. H8TRZ

    I have points with them, which is why the car didn’t cost so much last weekend.

  37. I love making everyone all awkward and uncomfortable at the hostages.

  38. I’m showing my wife the BJ video now. She needs helpful hints like this.

  39. Killed it!

    I’ll just go have some stuffed London broil, then.

  40. I told my wife the BJ story, she laughed, asked if I wanted one before dinner, and then told me her mom was coming for dinner and to help get the yard sale ready for tomorrow.

    Now that’s just mean – ask a man if he wants one before dinner, and then tell him HIS MOTHER is coming for dinner.

    Or she’s a smart cookie, because that’s a surefire way to guarantee that he won’t be in the mood to get one…..

  41. AWRIGHT – which one of you took a picture of me in the grocery store?

  42. It’s her mom, TiFW. Not that my mom would be any better.

  43. No. Your mom.

  44. Did we get a n00b?

  45. She was like Rosetta’s last customer. Just came and went.

  46. My bad, Leon – although being told that your MIL is coming over would be even MORE of a mood-breaker, I’m thinkin’…..

  47. My bad, Leon – although being told that your MIL is coming over would be even MORE of a mood-breaker, I’m thinkin’…..

    I don’t know. Add another letter and you’ve got a MILF. . .

  48. Just for edification, what are the symptoms of the STLMU FLU? I’m asking for a friend…..

  49. But wouldn’t one’s MIL be a “MIL-ILF”?

  50. My MIL isn’t unattractive (I followed my Dad’s advice on that, best indicator that your wife-to-be isn’t going to be hideous later), but I’m just not kinky enough to find the idea of nailing her all that compelling, and I can think of way hotter women to get killed by my wife for getting jiggy with.

    Quick, someone diagram that sentence.

  51. does having a SIL-ILF count?

  52. My ex-wife’s mom, though… yeah, I might’ve.

  53. Quick, someone diagram that sentence.

    OK, but as long as you’re at the bank for the mortgage, pull some extra for that bitchin’ brain bleach bill I’m gonna send you.

  54. does having a SIL-ILF count?

    I think that’s extra points.

  55. What was GLand searching for when he found that picture of MCPO at the grocery store?

  56. I think that’s extra points.

    Really? I would think that would be fewer.

    Now a GMIL-ILF…. that;s some points right there…..

  57. does having a SIL-ILF count?

    I had one of those once. Then I found out about the herpes and heroin habit.

  58. Just for edification, what are the symptoms of the STLMU FLU? I’m asking for a friend…..

    Luckily, I would not know personally, but from what it sounds like, everything you have ever eaten leaves your body, one way or the other.

  59. I don’t do herpes.

  60. Full rainbow in the field across the road.

  61. I don’t have a MIL-ILF, but I definitely have a SIL-ILF. But I prefer my head attached to my body.

  62. Full rainbow in the field across the road.

    Have you yet rhetorically asked what it means?

  63. Have you yet rhetorically asked what it means?

    It’s either the moisture acting as a prism, a sign for a pot of gold, or something involving faggots.

  64. Full rainbow in the field across the road.

    There was a perfectly clear and beautiful rainbow outside the window at the Minneapolis airport while Laura was on the phone trying to get us on a flight home Sunday night.

    I tried to get her attention to show it to her, but my voice was completely shot.

    We eventually got rebooked and, as we started to walk away, I touched her arm and pointed out the window to the now fading rainbow.

    She said “…nice.”

    stupid lost voice

  65. I don’t do herpes.

    no problem with the heroin though, huh?

    good call.

  66. I do know a WOHS-ILF though.

    ‘Cause she is smoking hot!

  67. I haven’t had too many skinny ones, so the heroin thing was almost a plus.

  68. Only HS can F WOHS.

  69. Tornado on the ground north of us about 40 miles.

    Hurray!

  70. Looks like I missed a spousal blow job thread. Damn.

    I’ll sum it up for ya……..late Reagan early Bush I. Somewhere in there.

  71. funnel cloud half mile NE of the house. Hail, wind and a shitload of lightening

  72. PG, come visit me, I’ll explain how to hire a hooker without talking about hiring a hooker while we drive over to Windsor.

  73. TEXT UPDATE FROM CATHY:

    I put LSD in Michael’s oatmeal this morning. He spent most of the day dragging a banana leaf across the floor and sobbing about how beautiful it was. Friggin’ hilarious. Watch my youtube channel for updates.

  74. MCPO, get in the basement!

  75. Your shit’s stronger than ours, Chief. Might wanna hunker down.

  76. No basement. In the bathroom.

  77. Thanks Leon but, without trying to steal xbrad’s shit, I gotta pretty good hand.

  78. TEXT UPDATE FROM MICHAEL:

    DON’T TALK SHIT ABOUT BANANA LOAF! BITCH MONKEY!

  79. Hurricanes are more fun than this shit!

  80. Get in the tub and pull a mattress over your heads, Chief.

    Or is that for something else?

  81. PG, I also know a good yoga teacher, IYKWIMAITYD.

  82. That’s ‘cuz you can PLAN to get out of the path of a hurricane……

  83. It looks to be over MCPO. That was one angry looking cell though.

  84. Get in the tub and pull a mattress over your heads, Chief.

    Or is that for something else?

    This is no time for “Ultimate Dutch Oven”, Teresa.

  85. radio reports 40k w/o power in our county.

  86. Prayers, Chief, hope you come though this okay.

  87. All clear siren just went off. Looks like you folks are stil stuck with me.

  88. Looks like you folks are stil stuck with me.

    Rats. I need a new tv.

  89. Looks like that thing will be here in a few hours. It will likely die out but if it wakes me up I will shake my fist at the sky and scream MCPO!

    The neighbors love us.

  90. Jewstin killed it.

    Damned Texan.

  91. DON’T BLOW AWAY, McPOO!

  92. @ 7:43 wiser: I had one of those too.

    Had being the operative word. Uh oh.

  93. So, yeah, with all this wind and hail and rain and shit, I am going back to doing claims. Caking ain’t paying the bills. Well, it is, but only the bills. I WANT NEW TOYS! AND BOOZE! AND HOT GUYS TO SERVE ME BOOZE WHILE I PLAY WITH MY TOYS.

    How’s PA???!!! I bet she’s doing well.

  94. Hi Licky
    Serves Licky Booze.

  95. AND HOT GUYS TO SERVE ME BOOZE WHILE I PLAY WITH MY TOYS.

    *watches that one in over the inside corner*

  96. I was gonna jump on Licky’s comment, but after the BJ story earlier, I didn’t want to appear greedy.

    I am, I just don’t want to appear so.

  97. One more day until I can sit around in my underpants ALL WEEK LONG. Or not…if it doesn’t warm back up.

  98. One more day until I can sit around in my underpants ALL WEEK LONG.

    Hell, I’ve been doing that for three months. They’re getting worn out.

  99. TEXT UPDATE FROM CATHY

    It’s 163 miles to Chicago. I’ve got a half a tank of gas, a half a pack of cigarettes, it’s dark, and I’m wearing sunglasses.

  100. Beasn, please describe your underpants. Don’t be afraid to use flowery language. Paint me a picture with your words.

  101. Paint me a picture with your words.

    Do you grandma up there in the meat section? Like that.

  102. Well, leon, they’re plaid boxers with a penis in them.

    Oh, you said “beasn”……my bad.

  103. FUUUUUUU….

    Do you SEE that grandma up there……

  104. Herr?

    http://www.youtube.com/watch?feature=player_embedded&v=G_3zAkNE3Ls

    Hahaha. Looks strangely familiar.

  105. It’s 163 miles to Chicago. I’ve got a half a tank of gas, a half a pack of cigarettes, it’s dark, and I’m wearing sunglasses.

    Bwaaaaa-hahahaha!

    ONLY wearing sunglasses.

  106. Hahaha. Looks strangely familiar.

    yeah, what flies outta your shorts….

  107. Dinner with the Cuffys and the Roamys was very, very good. Mrs. Cuffy is wonderful. Cuffy is… Cuffy.

  108. Did anybody talk shit about anybody else’s favorite breakfast cereal today?

  109. UPdate on PattyAnn.

    Dang this awesome woman is so major-cool. I have so enjoyed all my time with her. We ALL are so lucky to be touched by her.

    Nice visit. She “went on strike” this morning. Refused to cooperate until the extubated her.

  110. Yes.

  111. Yaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaayyyyyyyyyyyyyy for PattyAnn!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

  112. She “went on strike” this morning. Refused to cooperate until the extubated her.

    Baylor University Medical Staff vs. Hostage: The Reckoning.

  113. I smacked the shit out of Snap, Crackle and Pop. Fuck those hinkey little bastards.

    BTW, we have a topless gramma, hot guys and booze, Beasn in her undies, and blowjobs. Whatever the world is coming, to, I WANNA BE THERE! Except for topless gramma. We’ll leave her for Rosie.

  114. You guys aren’t going to believe what my cousin in Texas found in a hospital dumpster:

    http://tinyurl.com/3gvxv6v

  115. We need a Patty Party! Call Sam Elliot to serve the Margaritas!

  116. Heh heh heh. Hurray for PA.

  117. Next time you see PattyAnn Cathy could you give her a hug for me? You’ll have to cop a quick feel too so she knows it was really from me.

  118. BTW, Licky, your new POL photo is very nice.

  119. Mrs. Cuffy is wonderful.

    Roger that. What an amazingly funny and lovely and charming lady. Cuffy is a lucky guy. Or he would be a lucky guy, if I didn’t suspect that in private she rapes him with dog toys and verbally humiliates him.

    Each to their own, I suppose. *YAWN*

    Did she tell you about how she doesn’t believe in space? She makes a compelling case.
    Mainly by wrinkling her cute little nose, shaking her cute little blonde head and saying, “Uh-nuh,” in that Southern accent.

  120. I removed some tubes on my own one night. The doctors were shocked but the nurses dug it.

    Stupid interns.

  121. I miss breakfast cereals sometimes. Even Kashi Go-Lean Crunch Honey Almond Flax.

    Even though it was a sure way to have incredibly bad gas about 7 hours after consumption. Seriously, like clockwork.

  122. Go with the Berry Berry Kix or Chocolate Cheerios, Leon. No gas.

  123. I’m afraid of flax now that I’ve read some bad shit about it.

  124. Mainly by wrinkling her cute little nose, shaking her cute little blonde head and saying, “Uh-nuh,” in that Southern accent.

    *nods head*

    She has great hair.

  125. Quit reading all that crap and eat whatever the hell you want. Worrying about it is causing more problems than the consumption of whatever you’re worried about. Besides, you ARE gonna die so do whatever the hell you want to do.

    SYWM.

  126. btw – PattyAnn LOVED the Sam Elliott and hunky-hump-day stuff. I updated her yesterday before her surgery. She was happy with all the hunks.

  127. Or not.

  128. “if I didn’t suspect that in private she rapes him with dog toys and verbally humiliates him.”

    That’s a problem?

  129. I’m thinking of starting a diet of flax seed, prunes, and cod liver oil. I should be able to double my drinking and live to see 180.

  130. That’s a problem?

    Shut up and eat your Beef Chunks with Gravy.

  131. >> She has great hair.

    It’s very soft too.

    Shut up it is!

  132. I’m thinking of starting a diet of flax seed, prunes, and cod liver oil. I should be able to double my drinking and live to see 180.

    Who’s turn is it to bungie Jewstin to the shitter?

  133. Go with the Berry Berry Kix or Chocolate Cheerios, Leon. No gas

    I just quit eating it altogether. I mostly don’t even eat breakfast anymore. When I ate grains, though, kashi and steel-cut oatmeal were my absolute favorites. I never really liked sweet cereals. I developed a real taste for the fiber-y stuff.

  134. I like oatmeal if someone else makes it for me.

  135. I’m with you Leon. I like oat bran or wheat bulgur.

  136. Thank you, Clint. I am currently enjoying a very small piece of the best Carrot Cake evah. Just a small piece, eaten slowly.

    Berry Berry Kix is not the same as it used to be. I also like Alpha-Bits until they changed. Like Apple Jacks. They changed and now they are not as good.

    And Bubblicious strawberry gum was THE BEST because it was so sugary it was gritty. Now, not so much. Probably stupid corn syrup instead of SUGARRRRRRRR.

  137. Mrs. Cuffy made an AWESOME strawberry shortcake dessert. We’re swapping stories now.

  138. Good news about PattyAnn.

    She has been extubated because she insisted.

    She is enjoying drinking water and juices and looks forward to eating applesauce, yogurt, etc.

    She so appreciates my visits and all the prayers from you morons. I shared Psalm 46 with her today and she LOVED how it fit how she was feeling about stuff… AND I also prayed with her. God has been giving her some miracles. Her complexion looks great… so much better since yesterday when I saw her before the surgery.

    And, Her sense of humor is amazing.

  139. Mrs. Cuffy made an AWESOME strawberry shortcake dessert. We’re swapping stories now.

    Please tell everyone HOWDY for me… and give a round of hugs also.

  140. I love that Kashi Go Lean Honey ALmond Crunch, Leon!!! They have the best oatmeal. That cinnamon is so good. The vanilla is good, too, but two totally different textures.

  141. (((hugs Cathy)))

    Thank you, dear lady.

    (((hugs for Patty Ann to get better)))

  142. Probably stupid corn syrup instead of SUGARRRRRRRR.

    Another saving grace of the Kashi stuff. It had actual honey and what sugar it did have was exactly that: sugar.

    But I’ll stick with my poached eggs and coffee.

  143. Yay, Patty Ann!!! Did I miss what the final decision was about her leg, if there was one? I’ve been trying to keep up but…

  144. Never light a cigarette while spraying yourself with Deep Woods Off.

  145. My eyes are getting dry. Time for sleep.

    G’night all. Continued prayers for Patty Ann.

  146. She MAY be getting online tonight. So anything we say could be seen by her… so I encourage all y’all to say HOWDY to her and wish her well.

    Roamy, I’m so jealous that you get to be with our moron-friends, I try to get over it.

  147. G’night, Lawn.

  148. ^ her would OBVIOUSLY be PattyAnn.

  149. More Yaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaayyyyyyyyyyyyyyy for PattyAnn!!!!!!!!

  150. Gonna have supper and a movie with Batman.

    bbl

  151. God is within her, she will not fall;
    God will help her at break of day.

    Psalm 46

  152. LL, she made a very very tough, and brave call yesterday, and told the docs to take her leg. They amputated it above the knee.

  153. Never light a cigarette while spraying yourself with Deep Woods Off.

    You should see what happens with starter fluid.

    Yes. It’s a real story.

  154. Thank you Cathy. Continued Prayers for PA

  155. That is such great news Cathy

  156. Nothing against any of the rest of you people, but I just scrolled up the thread and only read Cathy’s comments.

    Thanks, Cath! And (gentle) hugs to PA, along with continued prayers.

    Now, what are we talking about?

  157. Never light a cigarette while spraying yourself with Deep Woods Off.

    I happen to know cattle dip is also flammable.

  158. PattyAnn – Get better soon!!!!

  159. Second Cathy being awesome too.

    Yeah, she is awesome.

    The Army’s CPE training is pretty rough (Clinical Pastoral Education). It’s sort of like Ranger training for chaplains, only it’s mostly emotional rather than physical.

    In typical Army fashion, they break you down first. They force you to confront: (1) what are YOUR emotional issues, and (2) what are YOUR theological issues.

    If you can’t do that and share it, you flunk out. After that, you can start learning to provide care to those is extreme circumstances, and their family.

    This process is not easy on a spouse.

  160. It weren’t me, I swear!

  161. Cathy’s main CPE instructor was an officer named Pete Criner. I’ll never forget that guy. He came off like a Southern redneck hillbilly, but I figured out pretty fast that he was one of the most intelligent persons I have ever met. I mean, maybe possibly Pete is smarter than me, which I don’t concede very often.

    Cathy told me one time that the Army had decided that Pete had problems with strong women, which is the only reason they let her, as a civilian, into the program, and bumped a chaplain to make room for her. She heard about this after the program was over. They were using her to train Pete.

    Meanwhile, Michael had to eat frozen sweet & sour chicken dinners. God will reward me for that, at the end of time.

  162. New chick still here, just duct taping the kids. It would take more than low bewbs and farts to scare me. Not much more, mind you. Ahem.

  163. Michael had to eat frozen sweet & sour chicken dinners. God will reward me for that, at the end of time.

    You ate. It was your reward.

  164. Not much more, mind you.

    *hides the gently used rubber fist under the kitchen sink.

  165. Hello, Minx Monica.

    By your avatar, you are not only quite lovely but also have a very tiny head.

  166. It would take more than low bewbs and farts to scare me.

    Mink Monica, you have not smelled Floyd’s farts yet. Floyd is Rosetta’s dog. My advice — leave here now before this happens to you.

  167. So what’s a girl like you doing in a place like this?

    *ducks the rubber fist of beasn*

  168. Not many lights on in town. I’ve only seen the police go by. Well, them and 3 teenagers in a pickup truck.

  169. Yay PattyAnn! Here’s to a good recovery, hon.

    Mrs. Cuffy made an AWESOME strawberry shortcake dessert.

    Dear Mrs. Cuffy, I really like you. Will you be my friend. . . .(and make me strawberry shortcake)?

  170. I tell my hubby Cathy’s Chaplain stories from here and IB. I just wish I was clever enough to come up with a Cathy text update.

  171. NEW CHICK!!!

    What’s your story?

  172. Juice out, Chief? I’ve been posting on generator power about half the time the last three days.

  173. Nice job, Andy. You runned her off.

  174. Hi PattyAnn!!!!!!!!
    We never talk.
    Get well girl, I am praying for you.

    Hi new girl.
    Minx, I like the sound of that.

  175. NEW CHICK!!!

    What’s your story?

    She has bewbs.

    Do you really need to know anything else?

  176. Herr M – Not up on our hill – but our stuff is underground. The older parts of town. . . not so much.

  177. One of these days I would like to sit down with Cathy and just talk about her life.

  178. We have a substation they just built on the other side of our pasture.

    Apparently they didn’t build it so well, cuz it keeps shitting the bed.

  179. I would do that if there was pecan pie.

    I’m kinda selfish that way

  180. I think Uma Thurman has a tiny head. Like an orange. My head, pretty human sized. Small bewbs, but normal head. Reckon I need a more moronic avatar?

  181. Hi new girl.
    Minx, I like the sound of that.

    Yeah she’s stuck with it.

    If, you know, she comes back.

  182. One of these days I would like to sit down with Cathy and just talk about her life.

    Do it.

    When it’s over, 75% of the conversation will be about your life. You have no control over this.

  183. Hahahaha, there’s Minx.

    How did you stumble on this den of miscreants and retards?

  184. And it’s a scientific fact that small bewbs are more sensitive. Same number of nerve endings over a smaller surface area.

    I read it on the internet.

  185. Don’t forget the sizable intersection of miscreant retards in our little blog Venn diagram, HM.

  186. Science!

  187. I have a cousin that lurks here, and she asked about the STLMU.
    I told her that of all the characters that play here there are several forces of nature, Michael, Wiser, Rosie, Mrs Cuffy, Roamy.

    Cyn is in a league of her own, she is trouble with a cap T. I felt like a mouse being played with by a tiger. Cyn held back this weekend, I am certain of that.

    Then there is that angel gem sophisticated elegant lovely charming and gracious Cathy. But that is another story.

  188. Don’t forget the sizable intersection of miscreant retards in our little blog Venn diagram, HM.

    H2, Ace, IB, UP.

    A true moron is well centered.

  189. My God, how many Moron Blogs are there? There must be 50 floating around.

  190. She blinded me with science. . .

    http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=3fI8834iCgo

  191. Laura’s doesnt count.

  192. >> 75% of the conversation will be about your life.

    I would feel kinda bad about all the shit I made up except I don’t suffer from remorse.

  193. I would feel kinda bad about all the shit I made up except I don’t suffer from remorse.

    With all due respect to Cathy, I doubt that “competence to stand trial” is in her repertoire.

  194. Laura is not a force of nature per se, she is simply the funniest woman in the world.

  195. Hahaha. Great new avatar, Minx.

  196. Alright, who the hell spilled Lucky Charms on my lovely little poat?

  197. There, that’s better.

  198. OK, one of the kids left the door open and now I’m covered in June Bugs.

  199. So Mink, small boobs eh? Prove it.

  200. Alright, who the hell spilled Lucky Charms on my lovely little poat?

    The green clovers and blue diamonds were fine, but the chocolate dildoes were beyond the pale.

    Nice job, Guy.

  201. I had a good day today. I bought a Accord and a CR-V. I should make $200 each. If I can do that every day, I will be happy.

  202. 2 grand a week, VMax? Yeah, I’d be pretty happy with that, too. How does this gig work?

  203. Trouble with a cap T, huh? No way! Not little miss Cyn.

    *bats eyelashes

  204. You’re an awesome dude, Vman and I wish we would have gotten more hugging time in.

  205. And welcome Ms. Mink!

    Your head looked better before. Change it back and maybe pour us all some cocktails please.

  206. I wish we would have gotten more hugging time in.

    – – – – – –

    I seem to recall scant hugs myself….

    *did the double pits to chesty, was it my breath?!*

  207. Straight commission Herr.
    Independent contractor, live or die on today.
    We have wholesalers who are really exporters. I try to buy under wholesale and then sell to the wholesalers / exporters. 90% of my cars are exported. 10% to Russia 20% to Costa Rica 10% to the Caribbean, 50% to the Dominican Republic.

  208. Naw, you just gotta be there more than one night. You need a full two+ days to try to get all the good hugging in.

    *offers an Altoid on the sly*

  209. I hugged the crap outta Vmax

  210. That’s some pretty good money there Vman. Good job!

  211. Aren’t you in Florida Vmax? Seems a long way to export to Roooski.

  212. I hugged the crap outta Vmax

    – – – – –

    I remember…………. awkward.

  213. Tiger Cyn
    Holding back.
    You are in another league.
    I recognize greatness when I see it.

  214. I hugged the crap outta Vmax

    And this is EXACTLY why I didn’t get enough. Hug hogger.

  215. I dint feel him up.

    As far as you know.

  216. I don’t even know what that means Vman.

  217. I think we’re all pretty freaking awesome!

  218. I hugged the crap outta Vmax

    It’s true. He did.

    bitch

  219. Well, most of us anyway.

    *motions head sideways toward wiser, then shakes head sadly*

  220. >> You need a full two+ days to try to get all the good hugging in.

    I’ll vouch for that. Cyn hugged me so hard she gave me “the Ebola”.

    Or maybe vice versa.

  221. Ohai Wiser!

  222. I think we’re all pretty freaking awesome!

    http://fwd4.me/02Pg

  223. Dave was my BFF.
    Except when he said he was going to kick my ass. Then Andy was the great one.

    OK I lied Andy was the great one. Michael said a great eulogy to the gay bartender, and the other bartender, and again, but I made fun of it and it passed with laughter.

    And eye rolls.

    I had enough squishy hugs from Roamy and Cyn…well I am good for he nex year. Sorry for that.

  224. Cyn hugged me twice and I came away with the Ebonics virus also… hhmmmmm

    Patient Zero?!

  225. Fess up Vmax; Dave copped a feel, diin’t he? I put money down he did.

  226. I can see that gig working, VMax. I can definitely see used American cars being attractive overseas right now when our dollar is toilet paper and people are selling low to move cash.

  227. Meow

  228. Why oh why do my comments go into the spam bucket?

    FU wordpress! FU!

  229. I hugged Cyn like I was conducting field tests at the Aberdeen Proving Grounds, and I didn’t get so much as a sniffle from it.

    Well, except sayin goodbye. But that wasn’t a virus.

  230. *motions head sideways toward wiser, then shakes head sadly*

    *heads back to hotel, waits patiently by ice machine, knowing full well what “the nod” means…….

  231. I think we’re all pretty freaking awesome!

    http://fwd4.me/02Pi

  232. *heads back to hotel, waits patiently by ice machine, knowing full well what “the nod” means…….

    Hahahahaha.

  233. More Absolut Ice and Water! Yay!!!

  234. Is my new avatar showing yet. Vman inspired me.

  235. The Tiger says Meow…

    Cyn you rock he socks off.

    The problem HM is I can buy a 07 Accord for $8k and sell it for 10.

    Most people with a 07 Accord are asking $12k and are insulted when I say I will pay 8.

    Dealers on the other hand are MOSTLY not insulted if I offer 20% less than wholesale.

  236. Smoooooches Vman1

  237. *still waiting by by the ice machine, occasionally checking wristwatch…..

  238. I think we’re all pretty freaking awesome!

    http://fwd4.me/02Pj

  239. Cyn – I like your new avatar!

  240. Kiss me Tiger.

    Or bite my head off. You ARE the tiger!

  241. Awww crap.

  242. So you’re doing a lot of shoe leather work, VMan? To keep your customer supplied?

  243. sure wish I brought a sweater…..

  244. ,,,guess I’ll have to go get the ice myself…

  245. *remembers last conversation with Cyn

    “….cold …. in …hell…….sleep with you…….”

    Yeah, she meant for me to wait here.

    I’m sure of it.

  246. My avatar is showing at my site but not here dangit.

  247. YAY!!

    Rawr.

  248. Do it.

    When it’s over, 75% of the conversation will be about your life. You have no control over this.

    Hah! I already thought of that, the second I started thinking about what the conversation would be like. She’s like that.

    I may be shy and wimpy compared to her, but I think I could pull some good nuggets out of her and avoid spilling too many of mine.

    ……..

    Uhh, maybe an email interview.

  249. Smoooches Vman! No bitey your head off 🙂

  250. I see it, Tiger Lilly.

  251. wait…… she did say “5th floor”, right?

    yeah, she definitely said “5th floor.”

    She’ll be here really soon…….

  252. *emails wiserbuns a sweater

  253. I make 25-50 calls a day HM.
    When the bread and butter (Toyota Honda Nissan SUV’s) dries up I have been able to hand sell (I get a firm sell price, then call several buyers and see what they will buy it for. I made $5k on a Porsche Cayenne twin turbo and another $5k on a Land Rover LR3. Mostly I get 25% of the profit of $2K or $1500.
    The Accord is shipping from NJ the CV-X was from PA. $200 to $300 shipping plus auction fees, and detailer fees.

  254. Tiger Lilly? Maybe I need to zoom it more.

  255. Nice avatard.
    .
    .
    .
    .
    I’ll be in my bunk.

  256. >> “….cold …. in …hell…….sleep with you…….”

    You too?

    shit.

  257. My boss thinks I am a drunk.
    He is correct. I need to call it a night.

  258. Zoom it Andy or leave as is?

    Quick! I need a decision NOW.

  259. OK, I got it Vmax. Sounds like a feast/famine proposition in a lot of ways.

    Or as others call it: life. I can see you making money out of this in the long term. Not a bad way to horse trade at all.

  260. Nighty night Vman. Sweet Dreams!

  261. Tiger Cyn? Is that your new lesbian overlord name?

  262. any time now……

  263. Yes, Pj. You shall be my first victim this weekend.

  264. Whut? Huh?
    Where did every one go?

    I have been a gear head all my life HM
    This could be right up my alley.

  265. TEXT UPDATE FROM CATHY:

    Just repaired the ripped screens with no help from You-Know-Who. Some guy walked up on the lawn and asked me which way to so-and-so’s house (the neighbor) but he didn’t look like he belonged in the neighborhood. I roundhouse-kicked him in the sternum. Buried him under the banana trees.
    Looking forward to Laura’s email interview with me. I’m going to make her tell me about her childhood cat and cry her eyes out. Stay tuned to my youtube channel, it’s going to be a fucking riot.
    Seriously, stay tuned. If you fail the quiz, I have free airfare anywhere in the world and a plastic shiv that gets by security no prob.
    STAY THE FUCK TUNED MOTHERFUCKERS OR ITS YOUR HEAD.

  266. *innernet hugs to PattyAnn*

  267. *heads to get my own ice from the sixth floor machine; whistles happily*

  268. New chick still here, just duct taping the kids. It would take more than low bewbs and farts to scare me. Not much more, mind you. Ahem

    I am SO proud of you!!

  269. You too?

    shit.

    What floor are you on?

  270. The first step Mink, is admitting you have a problem.

  271. Looks good to me just like that.

  272. *hugs Vman goodnight*

  273. Wow, from all the chatting and emailing I’ve done with Cathy, the text lauraw just posted sounds pretty realistic.

  274. Tiger Cyn is a hott hott hott mama

  275. Some guy walked up on the lawn and asked me which way to so-and-so’s house

    Soooo…. what you’re saying is…… Mare is available?

    sweet.

  276. You the best Vman!!! Hey what floor are you staying on? Do you have ice?

  277. you know who I missed at the STLMU?

    Tagnash.

  278. Vmax was on the 4th floor but he said I put him on the ground floor.

    I don’t remember that.

    IMPORTANT TEXT UPDATE FROM CATHY

    So Dave, what do you think about lesbianism?

  279. So Dave, what do you think about lesbianism?

    I don’t know about Dave, but I’m sure as hell willing to learn.

  280. Vmax was on the 4th floor but he said I put him on the ground floor.
    I don’t remember that.

    *hears Ed Mcmahon’s HO-OOOO in the background*

  281. Just throwing this out there…
    What if one of the ‘connected’ Hostages, say Guy or Chumpo, could get Sam Elliot to call, or even visit PA?
    Would that be cool, or what?
    I’m pretty sure he’d do it, iffin he was told what was going on.
    Perhaps, I’ve just had too much whiskey.
    No, actually I have.
    Just thinking out loud.
    It would be cool though.

  282. What if one of the ‘connected’ Hostages, say Guy or Chumpo, could get Sam Elliot to call, or even visit PA?

    Hahaha. You’re good. Oh that would be tits.

  283. could get Sam Elliot to call, or even visit PA?

    that.

    would.

    be.

    the.

    coolest.

    thing.

    EVAH!!!

  284. That would be very cool, Chrispy. She’d love it. I know I’d love it.

  285. you ever smoke so much in one day that your top teeth and bottom teeth avoid contact, like same pole magnets?

  286. <i.you ever smoke so much in one day that your top teeth and bottom teeth avoid contact, like same pole magnets?

    I call that “Saturday.”

  287. yeah.

    well, off to grab me a teefes brush then hit the hay. Early meetings tomorrow.

    Night homos

  288. get Sam Elliot to call, or even visit PA?

    Epical.

  289. I have a conference call with Marcus tomorrow, would that be an ample sub?

  290. Makes it hard to hold the ciggie between your teefs. Perhaps if you smoke more, the poles will realign.

  291. Sweet Dreams Sweet Dave!

  292. That’s not to shabby either Guy. NOt too shabby at all!

    Any body know if PA knows of him? Perhaps she may not. Hell; how can she not!

  293. got me some, thanks!

    Also sending hugs to PA. Glad she told em what for on the intubation thingy.

  294. If this post had any money, I would kill the fucker and buy myself a new pair of shoes.

  295. Where’s Rosetta. He still fightin last weekends Indians, or what?

  296. Dammit…I’ve said too much.

  297. I get results.

  298. as if on queue!

  299. MOM!!! HERR KNOWS HOW TO CALL THE SPIRIT OF ROSETTA!!!

  300. She sounds like an even feistier patient than Scott, and that’s a very very good sign.

    Kick ass, Pretty Ann!

  301. MOM!!! HERR KNOWS HOW TO CALL THE SPIRIT OF ROSETTA!!!

    You should see what I do to crabgrass.

  302. MOM!!! HERR KNOWS HOW TO CALL THE SPIRIT OF ROSETTA!!!

    That doesn’t bode well for the soul of Herr.

  303. Imma go to bed now. Glad you all enjoyed my little musical jokes with Cyn’s comment.
    .
    .
    .
    .
    .
    .
    .
    farging bastages.

  304. I have a conference call with Marcus tomorrow, would that be an ample sub?

    Oh My. Think about it — someone who has gone through and GOTTEN through so much. Holy crap, GMLand, you’re on to something!

  305. That doesn’t bode well for the soul of Herr.

    This “soul” thingy. You speak strangely.

  306. ‘Night all.

  307. Guy,
    That would do it for me, But I know who he is!
    PA, I’m not sure.
    About Sam, I am sure, but it could get her excited enough to cause problems, in her fragile condition.
    Give it a try, if he’s up for it!
    He sounds like a great guy, and I’m pretty sure he’d go for it.
    You rock!

  308. If you say “Rosetta, Rosetta, Rosetta” while holding a Ouija board, he sneaks into your sister’s room and disappoints her.

    True fact.

  309. I survived dinner with the Roamys and Cuffys.

    Next time any of you morons meet the beautiful and sweet Mrs. Cuffy, ask her about her adventures in landscaping, and why Mr. Cuffy will be the only one to use the electric hedge trimmer.

  310. So, who’s calling Sam Elliot?

  311. This “soul” thingy. You speak strangely.

    Were it not for the presence of Saint Cathy, everyone here would be in hell. Well at least most of us and especially Michael.

    And not the good hell either where everyone is drunk and listening to Led Zeppelin.

  312. So, who’s calling Sam Elliot?

    I’ll do it. It’s almost midnight and I’m half in the bag. Is there a better time?

  313. So, who’s calling Sam Elliot?

    – – – –

    I haven’t talked to him since…. http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v489/gmland/sam.jpg

  314. Hahaha. Good meatup you shitballs had, by the sound of it, Rosie. You’re a gent among weasels. I tip my knickers to your kindness and hospitality.

  315. sweet, gmland has an in……..but Herr’s wasted so that’s good.

  316. I’m not reading anything you tire pee-ers and window lickers wrote since I was here last.

  317. ask her about her adventures in landscaping

    no.

  318. We’ll just start now, from where I came in.

  319. PJ?

    http://tinyurl.com/3cp9c45

  320. .but Herr’s wasted so that’s good

    I’m not wasted, but I sure as hell ain’t conserved.

  321. If you say “Herr, Herr, Herr” while holding a copy of Edward Penishands IV: This Optometrist Hurts” you will poop out an eyeball.

    True fact.

  322. PJ?

    yes.

    and HOWDY LICKY!!

  323. If you say “Herr, Herr, Herr” while holding a copy of Edward Penishands IV: This Optometrist Hurts” you will poop out an eyeball.

    Yeah, well, if you say “Rosetta, Rosetta, Rosetta” while…

    Aw fuckit I got nothun

  324. http://www.wqad.com/news/mouse-mice-racing-gambling-betting-police-bucktail-lodge-beach-05252011,0,1221774.story?track=rss

    – – – –

    Eddie, that couldn’t be J’Ames – he keeps his mouse well hidden.

  325. I tried to BING his phone, but it ain’t happening…

  326. you will poop out an eyeball

    Oh thank God! I thought there was something wrong with my metamucil.

  327. GM: heh. I was wondering what they do for fun in Iowa. Now I know

  328. Aw fuckit I got nothun

    A cute little chickadee dropping a deuce on daddy isn’t nothun, brother.

    Have a great night, amigo.

  329. Ok, I take my half loaded ass to bed now with prayers for Patty Ann and Mrs Rosetta and all you turdburglars on my lips.

    Night, gang.

  330. Eddie Bear,
    You’re lookin’ too close at my neighbor-hood!
    What’s a mail-carrier gonna’ do when they gotta’ to do?

  331. And it’s a scientific fact that small bewbs are more sensitive. Same number of nerve endings over a smaller surface area.

    Huh. I did not know that.

    Ima gonna write that down on my list of Stuff I Learned On The Internet.

    I learn something new almost every day.

  332. Guy, Marcus would be outstanding!!!

  333. So who shows up doing what if you hold a purple latex dong, rub it three times, dance in a circle and sing The Yellow Rose of Texas?

    And I don’t want to hear anything about Hitler, Napoleon, or Michelle Obama’s boob belts.

  334. I think we should debate the smaller bewbs iz more sensitive issue ’cause I’m not necessarily buying it.

    Seems more like a nipple issue to me (I just said that to get Peej, Cyn and Sohos, in case she’s lurking, all stirred up.

  335. *Tries to find Licky’s whereabouts on MyLife.*

  336. If you look on the Moron Map, I’m the one standing in all the mud in south Louisiana.

  337. Why clintbird?!?! YOu son of a bitch.

    hell, I nursed 4 babies, you think I can feel a damn thing?

  338. Licky, kindly don’t send anymore warm moist air up toward OP, KS for the next several days, okay?

  339. One of the adjusters John works with is married to an adjuster for another insurance company. She’s working claims in Joplin and sent a bunch of pictures. It’s the most devastating thing I’ve seen in almost 10 years. Terribly, terribly sad.

    I thank God every day for all the things I have… and those I don’t.

    Thanks for the update on PA. I can’t imagine having to make that decision, but given the alternative, I’d like to think I would be as brave.

  340. Come here Peej and we shall find out.

  341. My guess is Mrs. Cuffy would show up.

  342. FINE, I WILL CLOSE MY MOUTH. JERK.

  343. When you feel like you’re spilling your guts to Cathy, and you want to stop, here’s how to handle it:

    Cathy: Aww, I’m so sorry your mother did that. How did that make you feel?

    Michael: Like I want to fuck Halle Berry until she begs for mercy.

    Fin.

  344. I don’t think I’m on mylife. Whatever that is. I’m guessing it’s some new stalker site.

  345. Bet you are, Licky. Go to mylife and search your name. I bet you’ll be surprised.

  346. It’s the most devastating thing I’ve seen in almost 10 years. Terribly, terribly sad.

    ugh. makes me ill. So sad. The stories coming out of there are just heart wrenching.

  347. Hahaha. Good meatup you shitballs had, by the sound of it, Rosie. You’re a gent among weasels. I tip my knickers to your kindness and hospitality.

    Give me a break. He just got drunk with the rest of us. Mrs. Rosetta deserves all the credit. She is awesome.

  348. Debbie Wasserman Schultz can suck my taint.

  349. OOOHHHH. Yeah, I know that site. No, I am not on it. Heh. I also searched my real name, not my faketard monor name, just FYI.

  350. That’s surprising, Licky. Almost anyone who’s ever had internet presence is on it.

  351. I’m hungry. Who wants to go to Waffle House?

  352. I already had waffles for dinner.

  353. Clint, one of the things that really surprised me last time I was down here in the south is just how many Waffle House’s there are.

    You can’t swing a dead cat in the greater ATL area without getting syrup on it.

  354. Bwahahaha, XB.

    I bet you saw some Crystals too.

  355. Uhh, maybe an email interview.

    She won’t do that. You gotta do eye contact. That’s how she rulz.

  356. Just a couple, Clint.

  357. You gotta watch who you’re making eye contact with. All that turning to stone and stuff.

  358. heading to the casa kids, have a great night and I will check in with you and parole officer tomorrow…

  359. I just threw up a new post to speed things up … hold down your applause.

  360. Hey GMLand, seen my mouse?

  361. See, Cathy is kinda like an emotional sponge. She can just absorb feelings, and expel them later.

    There is a lot going on at Baylor Medical Center amongst PA and her family that you and I will never hear about. I know this from experience.

    I’m pretty sure that if I had been at BMC the last few days, by now I would have bitch-slapped Patty Ann, punched a few of her relatives, given a wedgie to a couple of her doctors, and gotten arrested.

    I’m not real good in situations like that. Better at praying.


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