Spring seasonal holiday ovoid object hunt

Update: This got pushed down by a scheduled poat, so I’m gonna reschedule it.

Patton Oswalt is a douche when he talks politics, but he’s one of my comedy heroes when he does his regular material (NSFW):

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This is the part of the blog where I annoy our other religious readers with a bit from some more left-leaning comedians…

Ah, in between the hippies and the hipsters, there were the slackers.

(Full Disclosure: I had a really shitty chin-only goatee circa 1995. I’m not blaming the weed, but it was a factor.)

Something Wicked This Way Comes

There is an unwritten rule about never deleting a post because apparently, once something is on the internet it’s always on the internet.  So I write this knowing that it’s always going to be out there somewhere and it will likely preclude my 2020 run for president.  Despite that, I’ll probably delete this when I think better of it.

This morning I watched this.

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And the other day I watched this.

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And the other day I watched this.

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I could embed shit like that all day but you get the point.  We are living in a fucking cesspool.

Some of the comments on the McDonald’s video are fucking dumb shit racist which pisses me off.  None of these incidents offend me as a white guy.  They don’t offend me as a conservative.  They don’t offend me as a suburban hard working taxpayer.  They offend me as a fucking human being.

I think today was the day where all of this bullshit finally, collectively hit my fan of understanding and tolerance.

My world does not consist of black people and white people.  I don’t care about liberals versus conservatives.  There is not a schism between gay people and straight people or between Christians and Muslims and the fucking Wiccans.

The way I see it, there are only two different kinds of people in our world.  There are good people and there are bad people.  Although I’m several light years from perfect, I’m in the good person camp and I have fucking had it with bad people.

And I don’t even need to lay out what makes a bad person.  You know it when you see it and you feel it in your gut.  Those fucking animals that beat that girl in McDonald’s?  If their own mothers don’t admit they birthed evil then their mothers have no soul.

That motherfucker pumping his little protest sign and yelling at a 14-year old girl is a disgusting pig of a human.  A literal piece of shit.

I love intellectual debate.  To this day I am open to arguments from thoughtful liberals about either how the world actually works or how they think it should work.  People that are different than me, I like talking to them.  I’m a fucking Cleaver.  I want to hear what it’s like to be gay.  I want to hear what it’s like to be black where the fact that your skin is a different color makes you feel challenged or disadvantaged.

As a human being, I want to learn what makes other good human beings tick.

But I’ve fucking  had it with bad people.

I can’t help but think that the scumbags in those videos, had they grown up with good parents who spanked their ass when they deserved it, they would have maybe grown up to be good people.

Or maybe not.  And I’m getting to the point where I don’t really give a shit.  Is Obama a bad guy?  You know, I have an opinion about that but I can understand how someone else may have the opposite opinion and I have no desire to put that person in a wood chipper because of it.

Bad people, I want them in a wood chipper.

I admit there is a difference between the scum in the McDonald’s video and the scum in the protest videos.  But I’ve arrived at a place where bad people, whether they tag-team stomp someone’s head, cuss out a 14-year old girl or brag about wiping their ass with the flag…those people need to get the adult version of being spanked.

I’m sick of the motherfuckers.  I’m sick of them.

There was a story a few years ago about some depraved piece of shit trash that kidnapped a pregnant woman and attempted to cut the baby out of the pregnant woman’s abdomen.  It was unsuccessful for a couple of reasons but I remember thinking at the time, who’s going to fight more?

Who’s going to do whatever has to be done to protect what they hold dear?  Some low-life envious piece of shit that has nothing to lose or the mother whose baby that low-life envious piece of shit that has nothing to lose is trying to take?  I know the answer to that question.

There are a lot of people in this country who are the equivalent of that pregnant woman and God needs to have pity on those who try to steal from us what we hold most dear.

I don’t think it’s right to look for fights but there are certainly times where fights look for you and today, that’s what I feel like.

And to the bad people who happen to be liberals, who try to stoke trouble between races, who bring out their union thugs to beat tea party people, who describe those with whom they disagree as wanting to kill old people and sick kids, they need to consider the fact that there are otherwise calm, boring and happy people who have had enough of that shit.

I will make my peace with God and then I will remove your teeth with rusty pliers, scoop out your eyeballs with a spoon, skin you alive, set you on fire and then rape your burning carcass.

All I want is to do my job, raise a family, smell bulldog farts and have fun with my friends and enjoy life.  If any asshole is going to disturb that, they’re going to have a fight on their hands that they will not win.

And to that cocksucker that did that post on Wonkette about Trig Palin…Dante didn’t envision a circle of hell deep enough to describe what I would do to you should we meet in a dark alley.  We’ll pretend that I’m a Muslim extremist and Trig is Muhammad and I will chop your fucking head off.

I’m sick of the shit.

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Big Boob Friday™

Hi fuckface.  Welcome to Big Boob Friday.  As a vulgarian, I find that some days I feel the need to swear more than other days.  Today is one of those days you cocksucking piece of shit motherfucking asshole dickweed cowboy-fisting son of a douche.

David Bowie falls in the class of legendary artists that I’m like meh.  He always seemed like a Nancy boy,  cross dressing, weirdo sissy.  He does have some good songs but not what I think of as “RAWK”.  Until I heard this song.  If you don’t like this song, well that’s just one more reason why your mother sucks cocks in hell.

For some reason there are 20 seconds of STFU at the beginning so you can skip that part, stupid chicken fucker. Turn it up, dirty whore.

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I do think that the fact that Bowie has one blue eye and one green eye is pretty cool so there’s that.

How about we look at some boobs now you scum-sucking pig, you sons of a motherless goat, you lowly sluttery plague of the earth?

And now, boob quiz.  Guess the models and win a PRIZEZOMG!!

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Today’s history lesson is in video form. And it has nipples. Lots and lots of nipples.  And naked boobies.  If you don’t like history, nipples or naked boobies or you’re offended by history, nipples or naked boobies then you better not watch this.

Safe for work if you work at Cinemax.
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Happy Easter to you all. I hope when you go on an Easter egg hunt that your Easter eggs are filled with money and jelly beans and not explosives and hippo porn which is what would happen if I was the Easter bunny.

Cheers.

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Pants

Smoke a big fat bowl and like them both, you hippie.

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Drinking is fun

Part G11.7a in a series of potential events to be scheduled by Rosetta for STLMU:

A pre-BBF bone(r)

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Are you John Galt?

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New Poat!…….wha?

we got a groovy kind of love……..hostage style!

Friends Dyslexic our with Fun

This.

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The Question isn’t “Who Answers..”

It’s “Who’s calling?”

If it’s 3am, it’s probably Dave.