Is it your beard? Is it your mustache? Is it the hair?

This guy is a fucking GENIUS!

It’s all so simple! Just think positively in a negative situation, and everything will be okay.

I’m gonna take it a step further and propose a more radical approach…HATE THE WEEKEND!

Monday will seem a lot better if you spend your weekends…

– getting repeatedly kicked in the balls
– crashing your car into a fire hydrant
– leaving your wallet at the grocery store
– going to jail
– being eaten by sharks
– working

Now you’re the kind of ANGRY MOTHERFUCKING GO-GETTER with a beard and mustache who’s going to best your business competitors on the field of battle and die of a heart attack by the age of 45. If you have a decent life insurance policy, your family will be set for a few years. (Be sure to be angry about paying the insurance premiums, too.)

387 Comments

  1. ta dah

  2. Doo dah! Doo dah!

  3. did you get kicked in the balls this weekend?

  4. thanx for the late night poat, gotta go.

    ch z

  5. Not only did I get kicked in the balls this weekend, I made sure to get kicked in the balls REPEATEDLY!!! IN JAIL!!!

    MONDAY, HERE I COME!!!

  6. Dude, I’m fired up now. Imma go kick Monday’s ass.

    No, seriously, I have stuff planned to do at work, rather than “WTF was I doing?”. Looking forward to the gym, because I think I might hit 115 on presses and 265 on squat for 3×5. Oh yeah, Monday is my bitch today.

  7. Now that’s how you poat! Fuck Mondays!
    .
    .
    .
    Ohai, Monday. Didn’t see you standin’ there.

  8. Okay, time to get to work before most of my coworkers. Damn slackers.

    For Car in when she finally wakes up:

    Wakey Wakey

  9. Wakey wakey Monday. Come on out. YEA!! It’s MONDAY. the weekend is FINALLY over.

    Sorta.

    My two oldest are home because some muthafocker slashed the tire of 50 school buses.

    I think when/ if the person is found, he should be tied up in the town square.

  10. And by “up”, you mean about 10 feet up in the air, right?

  11. I started my Monday off by kicking the ever-loving shit outta p90x chest & back. Then I came home to find that faggot Matt Lerher on my tv. The day will be downhill from here.

  12. The power has been off for 3 hours here, just came back on. Good thing I slept through most of it.

    The dogs were skeerd from all the thunder, and all told me about it.

  13. Car in? One of yours?

    http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=x01j3M3PrGk

  14. I used to do that trick with #2. A song by the Verve Pipe. Drive you Mild. He could go from crying and squirming, to asleep in my arms to that tune.

    He was a very difficult baby. We’d eat with the vacuum on. Colic on steroids.

  15. I rocked our oldest to sleep to Metallica. LOUD. It’d knock her right out.

  16. crashing your car into a fire hydrant

    OW!

  17. That’s what I get for using the old poat to tell me there’s a new poat.

    Poat notification FAIL!

  18. Glad you guys are excited about Monday – I have a dentist’s appointment.

    It’s just a routine cleaning, but that SOB ALWAYS puts me in the “Longhorn” room because he knows I’m an Aggie.

    I’m making a label today that says, “Hullabaloo, Caneck, Caneck!” and sticking it somewhere in that room…..

  19. Saw his horns off, Tifw. And by saw his horns off I mean……….ehhh use your imagination.

  20. That was the longest fargin’ 0.8 mile commute evah. Someone going to the grocery store in their golf cart didn’t use their turn signal and I went all gangsta on em.

  21. *throws toast with Smuckers grape jelly at poat*

  22. Wow, even the grocery stores are on the golf course where you’re at, GMLand?

  23. The Country with Obama as President:

    http://tinyurl.com/68ht6as

  24. Has anyone read The Roots of Obama’s Rage by Dinesh D’Souza? He has a plausible and interesting theory on what Obama’s outlook on American life is.

  25. I heard D’Souza interviewed on Hannity about a year ago, talking about his book. Great interview, gonna have to get the book.

  26. Speaking of books, what we all knew is true:

    http://tinyurl.com/4pylftt

    Round 5876……Obama is a pretender and not a particularly bright one.

  27. Vman our dogs started going CRAZY barking around 3:00 this morning. Count got up and said it was 3 dogs roaming the neighborhood. Who lets their dogs roam free at 3am?

  28. I’m wondering how D’Souza’s theory (anti-colonial influences) would be affected if Bill Ayers did indeed write Dreams from my Father. A lot of his research was based on that book.

    Regardless of who wrote that book, Barack Obama Sr. was not a very nice person to his family.

  29. About 10 years ago, I was really in to National Review, read every issue cover to cover, hit their website every day. D’Sousa put out a book on prejudice and racism somewhere during that time, and I snapped it up, and started reading it.Can’t remember the name of it, but it’s still in a bookcase somewhere in my house. Never finished. Maybe it was just that particular book, but the guy comes across as one of those highly intelligent people who just can’t reach the average reader. A lot of great, thought provoking points, but the style of prose finally wore my ass down.

  30. Ok, I finally poated at my place. Shesh. That took forever.

    Whose bright idea was it to have all these kids? They are a heck of a distraction.

  31. I love NR, but this past year we subscribed to WSJ and hubby said it was one or the other.

  32. OMG, #2 child made blueberry muffins this morning with crumbly tops. They smell so freakin good.

    I’m gonna go shove ’em down my kids’ throats so I don’t eat any.

    we had frozen blueberries in the freezer from last summer. And my son was all trouble this morning, so I thought making something from scratch would distract him for a bit.

  33. I am KING OF THE WORLD COMMENTS.

  34. BUT, really only because the rest of you suck.

  35. Is Carin through?

  36. *just to break Car in’s record

  37. Carin, how’s your husband?

  38. Confession: I really wasn’t listening to Carin, ’cause I was too busy staring at her well toned butt.

  39. Happy Monday! Lovelies.

    *always liked Mondays… it’s Tuesday’s that are terrible*

  40. Who lets their dogs roam free at 3am?

    Feral dog owners.

    *waves at Sohos*

  41. Confession: I really wasn’t listening to Carin, ’cause I was too busy staring at her well toned butt.

    Say brother, could you spare a picture?

  42. Carin emails those pictures to me with a stern warning to never share them with anyone. Sorry.

  43. I guess I’ll have to google Kerry Marie then. That’s about as close as you can get to the real thing.

  44. Who lets their dogs roam free at 3am?

    Heh, sounds like a jailbreak!

    About twelve years or so ago, Scott and I were walking up our street toward our house and we saw this great big Black Lab running around in our neighbor’s front yard. We made some disparaging remarks about people who let their dogs run free, and also commented on how much that dog resembled ours, even down to the red collar- OOOPS.

    Yep, it was ours. If we didn’t secure the porch door properly, he could get out on his own.

  45. Hubby went to work today ! He’s not sure if he’s going to make it all day.

    His fingers are starting to go numb … MRI was Friday and the neurologist appointment is tomorrow.

  46. I guess I’ll have to google Kerry Marie then. That’s about as close as you can get to the real thing.

    I’ve heard good things about this Jenna Valentine chick. This Rosetta guy swears by her.

  47. I just HAVE to share.I just finished the yummiest sandwhich EVER.

    Turkey. Flax seed wrap (100 calories). TINY bit of mayo. Salad fixens left over from last night and my FRESH broccoli sprouts. I found a sprout grower at Home Depot a week ago. It only came with a few packets of seeds.

    It think I’m going to try to make some sprouters out of jars too. Man. That was a good salad. YUM.

  48. “His fingers are starting to go numb … MRI was Friday and the neurologist appointment is tomorrow.”

    Shoot, it’s amazing what happens in an instant.

  49. The doc speculated that a disk may have gotten chipped in addition to the broken vertebrae. If that’s the case, he’ll need surgery to remove it.

    All will hopefully be revealed tomorrow.

  50. That first day back at work could be tough, Carin, but being more active and getting his mind on other things could help.

    Hope he does okay. Numb fingers… not so good.

  51. g Black Lab running around in our neighbor’s front yard. We made some disparaging remarks about people who let their dogs run free, and also commented on how much that dog resembled ours, even down to the red collar- OOOPS.

    Ha ha ha …

    One night, I went out running. 2 miles out, 2 miles back. Straight shot – at our cottage. Down one road, sneak into some bushes to cross a small river over a train track bridge, back to another dirt road. Anyway, I’m on my way back and I see this white thing heading toward me. I had similar thought’s to Lauraw and Scott’s. LOL. It was my White Shepherd and she had tracked me. She didn’t have the greatest vision,so I could see her nose to the ground up until she got w/in visual contact (for her
    She had found the path through the weeds, crossed the bridge, everything. I had never taken her that way before.

  52. Whenever I went running, if she found an open door, she went after me.

    You couldn’t even let her out into the back yard, because she’d jump the fence. She could do it any time she wished, but she only did it when I was out running, or the kids were playing in the front.

  53. sob.

    I loved taht dog.

  54. awww

  55. #1 son did 10.2 miles yesterday. He said, other than the cold, it was a fun run.

  56. I was thinking that my next dog would be a Shepherd, or better, a Shepherd cross.

    G. Shepherds are such wonderful dogs, but if they can still walk at age 9, they’ll soon be loaded full of cancer.

    The AKC needs a beatin’

  57. Way to kill it with thoughts of suffering shepherds, Laura!!

  58. I just saw a 4 yr old GShep that was a well socialized goof. Still acted like a puppy. He is in a tiny minority for where we live, though. The rednecks who get one of these dogs, tie ’em up out back, and encourage them to act like a guard dog need some beatins too. “Gee he never tries to tear my throat out at home.” grr. Have a good monday.

  59. Some of the sweetest, bestest dogs I’ve ever known were shepherds, but you’re right. That hip dysplasia thing is bad now, I didn’t know about the cancers.

  60. My dog growing up was a black shepherd named Lady. Best dog ever.

    But she got the hip dysplasia thing and didn’t make it past ten. In the last year, she could only drag her back legs around. My parents mercifully put her down when I went into the Navy.

  61. It’s too cold to run that far. 25 degrees. I run outside when it gets over 30.

  62. My shep aren’t dangerous, but they don’t like other people. They don’t want you to pet ’em or anything. They’re only dangerous if you mess with the kids. Then I’d watch out if I were you.

    Oskar is getting a bit more social. He has taken a shine to a few newcomers.

  63. Carin – Mike said it was 32F yesterday. . .

  64. It was ok yesterday. Maybe hit 32.

    But it’s still a tad cold -on a weekly basis – for me to work up to my higher mileage. I’m a temperature wimp. Plus, everything is covered with snow where I am. really, it’s the snow that’s the problem. The week before, we had similar temp w/o the snow, and I was running outside.

    My favorite runs are still snow covered.

  65. Ha!

  66. Heh. Slublog tipped me I got quoted by Geraghty in his Morning Jolt today.

    I used a bad word though. He censored me.

    FUCKIN FREE SPEECH!!

  67. That’s fucking bullshit!

  68. Ha. I had skipped my Morning Jolt. I like this bit:

    Because he knew, we really needed to be inspired, as a nation, at how [badwording] good he was with NCAA brackets. Sleep well. All is well. We’ve got Captain Jesus McAwesome on the job, 24 by 3 and a half.

    Ha. Yes, but much better with the “fucking”.

  69. It took me a second to read “[badwording]” as Geraghty-ese for “expletive deleted.”

    Fuckin’ fascist!

  70. Does anybody here have a yahoo email account? Can you access it right now? My work email is on yahoo and is d-e-a-d.

  71. I can access mine o.k., Laura.

  72. Thanks. It’s letting me in now but acting like a bitch.

    It’s a snet.net account.

  73. Is it plugged in?

  74. We had a German Shepherd – St. Bernard cross that was the friendliest dog ever. He used to drag dead animals back to the house as gifts.

    One time, it was the hind quarter of a dead calf. Did I mention it was a large dog?

  75. my fuckin’ yahoo account seems to be ok

    FREE YAHOO!

  76. my fuckin’ yahoo account…

    That’s the kinda account I might like to have, Dave.

  77. Cathy, we watched a movie last night called Please Give. The lead actress reminded me of you.

  78. I can get into my main account but not my sub-account, which is denying my password even though it worked earlier this morning.

    I think I’ve been hacked.

  79. FREE CREDIT REPORT DOT COM!

  80. wait- no- hah!

    I’m in.

  81. I’ve actually had to kick other people out of this account before.

    Don’t know how the vermin get in there, but glad things are set up the way they are so I can still get in there and fix.

  82. might wanna change your password just to be on the safe side.

    although usually if you get hacked, people in your address list tell you, cause they start getting emails from you about weird shit.

    ok you might wanna just go ahead and change it anyway

  83. Cathy, we watched a movie last night called Please Give. The lead actress reminded me of you.

    Been told I’m the “spitting image” of Margot Kidder (as Lois Lane) and also resemble Meg Ryan (You’ve Got Mail). Only thing I see in common with these gals are smart alecks. So you got me curious.

    Sounds like you’ve been hacked, Lauraw. Sorry.

  84. R.I.P. David E. Davis Jr.

    An amazing man and good friend.

    http://rumors.automobilemag.com/automobile-magazine-founder-david-davis-jr-dies-80-36613.html

  85. If you anagrammatize “Barry Soetero” you can get “Ye Rarest Boor.”

    Also, “Beery Orators.”

  86. It wasn’t so much her looks, Cathy, as it was her personality and demeanor – a truly lovely and caring person.

  87. OMG. My children are functionally retarded. (Sorry TIFW)

    My son just jumped off our deck with two umbrellas, thinking it would slow his descent.

    Did I every mention about the time my other son attempted to ride a bike off the shore into the lake?

    Yea, that ended well too.

    In other news, i see there was a newz story about my husband’s crash.

  88. HotSpur, Catherine Keener?. Yea, I’m okay with that… appropriately smart alecky.

    Loved her in ’40 Year Old Virgin’ and ‘Friends With Money.’

  89. Carin, just one word: Testosterone.

    Got plenty of similar stories.

  90. Not to worry, Car in. They’re boys. We do stupid shit. Those of us that survive eventually quit doing quite as much stupid shit. Eventually. Ehhh….go ahead and worry if you must. But it won’t do much good.

  91. Password changed. Is fix now.

  92. It wasn’t so much her looks, Cathy, as it was her personality and demeanor – a truly lovely and caring person.

    Yea. Watched the trailer. Looks like a great movie. Will put it in our Netflix queue. Thanks. You’re sweet.

  93. In other news, i see there was a newz story about my husband’s crash.

    Too bad there’s no comments. We could all jump in about how dumb the other fucker was.

  94. Yup, Catherine Keener. You two do sorta resemble each other.

  95. DOG HEAD ON FOOT.

    Well, there go all my plans.

  96. DOG HEAD ON FOOT.

    I could make a fortune if I developed a life-like silicone human foot, with an internal heater powered by batteries. Just pop a smelly sock on it, and keep it nearby your feet. Dog mistakes fake foot for pillow, and you’re free to move about.

  97. I LOVED David E. Davis’ writings. Hadn’t heard he had died. Bleh!

  98. Dog head on foot! That cracks me up every time Carin. So true.

    You’re pinned. Might as well call everybody and cancel.

  99. Yeah, Clint, he was one of a kind. He could light up a room just by walking in the door.

  100. Is it your beard? Is it your mustache? Is it the hair?

    It’s the merkin.

  101. George, I don’t think that moving about is the issue. I think that it’s all part of a master plot to procrastinate, and have an excuse to mess around on the interwebs.

    I’m just spitballin here. I wouldn’t know A THING about procrastination and distractions OOOOO SHINY!

  102. Dog head on foot!

    Awwww. Mine do that… sometimes Rosie’s there while I stand at kitchen sink.

  103. *Opens “War and Peace”

    (dog moves head)

    Oh well. I guess it wasn’t meant to be.

  104. I never procrastinate. There is no more important task at hand than poating on a moron blog.

    Yeah, it’s a full life.

  105. Heh, I love how your dog’s name is Rosie. When you mention it, I get a mental image of Rosetta following you around your house. Gives me the chuckles.

  106. When you mention it, I get a mental image of Rosetta following you around your house.

    That should get her a restraining order.

  107. My children are functionally retarded. (Sorry TIFW)

    It’s OK, Car in – she has an “excuse”……

    She was so cute this weekend – she and Mr. TiFW were watching movies on the couch, and every once in a while, something would happen onscreen, and Becca would say, “I KNEW it!”.

    This morning, she was going on and on about some monster and “attacking”, and she had this whole story to go along with it. She kept wanting us to go in her room to see the monster: “A Monster! Attacking! Come on, I show you! Over here!”

    Mr. TiFW thinks she must have had a bad dream last night – it would certainly explain why she came into our room so early this morning….

  108. RIT is a very inconvenient place for those of us that enjoy wearing dresses. Frickin wind.

    ‘Sup everyone?

  109. RIT?

  110. My school, Orwell.

  111. My children are functionally retarded. (Sorry TIFW)

    It’s OK, Car in – she has an “excuse”……

    No, I just wanted to apologize, to you, for using a non-PC term.

    But, I figure if the president can make special olympics jokes, we all can. Right?

  112. Rhode Island?

  113. Rochester.

  114. Ah. Just curious. Pretty cold now, I expect.

  115. Eh… actually walking to class wasn’t that bad. I may just be so used to freezing my tits off by now that I didn’t notice it though.

  116. Well, just make sure they haven’t sloughed off in the cold.

    Ahem.

  117. Almost 20 degrees below normal here. . . FUCK YOU, WINTER!!

  118. Winter is over. It is now Spring. FUCK YOU, SPRING!!

  119. No, I just wanted to apologize, to you, for using a non-PC term.

    Doesn’t bother me in most cases; “Developmentally Challenged” or “Developmentally Delayed” takes too long to say.

    Most parents who have a problem with it (when it’s used clinically) are trying to ignore the reality. I only have a problem with it when it’s hurled as an insult; otherwise, I’m fine with the term.

    Your comment made me laugh!

  120. Nope, still there. I imagine my dress would be rather looser in the chest area were they gone.

    Actually, I just took a look at the temperature here and it’s actually above freezing (slightly)! However, RIT is magical in that it is ALWAYS windy and the wind is ALWAYS blowing directly in your face no matter which way you turn, so it feels rather colder than that.

  121. Nope, still there. I imagine my dress would be rather looser in the chest area were they gone.

    That’s good, because if you did lose them they are not the sort of thing people normally return to Lost and Found.

  122. But, I figure if the president can make special olympics jokes, we all can.

    The president IS a special olympics joke.
    Becca’s school has an SO bowling team that would clean Barry’s clock.
    Those guys aren’t kidding around – they’re competitive!

  123. The president IS a special olympics joke.

    I didn’t know “NCAA Brackets with Crayon” was a qualified event.

  124. *gets out paddles*

  125. Kinky

  126. Whose turn is it to make Hotspur feel like a natural woman?

  127. This motherfucker IS dead.

  128. What do natural women feel like?

  129. The paddles worked, spur. Maybe next time you ought to get out the oars as well.

  130. “Whose turn is it to make Hotspur feel like a natural woman?”

    Mine.

  131. *throws Mare a slightly used rubber fist*

    You’re a lucky lucky girl, Hotspur.

  132. I shaved off my beard. Should I shave my chest and legs?

  133. “Should I shave my chest and legs?”

    And calling that rubber fist “slightly used” is like calling Henry Waxman “slightly ugly.”

  134. Getting the permits together to wholesale booze is kind of like being gang-raped. Feds get first crack at your ass while the state cheers from the sideline and lubes up.

  135. ” Should I shave my chest and legs?”

    I’m sorry I forgot to answer, I was distracted by the thought of Waxman’s face.

    Yes, it wont’ make you more natural but it will look better.

  136. That thing must be steel-belted.

  137. *throws Mare a slightly used rubber fist*

    Care to explain where that comes from?

  138. Well, you’ll have to shave my lower back, Mare. I can’t reach it.

  139. Actually, I can reach it. I just can’t see it well.

  140. “Getting the permits together to wholesale booze is kind of like being gang-raped. Feds get first crack at your ass while the state cheers from the sideline and lubes up.”

    Yes and I’m sure the regulations, even after permits are granted and bottom numbing.

  141. Last time when you did this to Andy, he became a card carrying member of the GLBT Community.

  142. Last time when you did this to Andy, he became a card carrying member of the GLBT Community.

    They issue cards? I thought the lisp was ID enough.

  143. Holy crap….”are” bottom numbing……is it too early to drink?

  144. Care to explain where that comes from?

    H2 toybox.

  145. H2 toybox.

    Hahahahahaha

    *uses imagination*

  146. I got better.

  147. Speaking of shaving. I knew that chemo attacked fast growing cells (hair, nails, lining of mouth, esophagus and stomach), but I was still kinda surprised when dad told me he hadn’t shaved in a month.

    I forgot about beard.

  148. What do natural women feel like?

    *tumbleweeds blow through poat**

    Just as I suspected……..nobody here knows.

  149. What do natural women feel like?

    Oddly enough, latex.

  150. >> What do natural women feel like?

    Fear. Cold sweat and fear.

  151. This is cute: on this four page form, the amount of information the gubmint requires takes up precisely three pages.

    The fourth page? The Paperwork Reduction Act Notice. All by its lonely on a separate piece of paper.

  152. If women are so fucking awesome at multitasking, why can’t they have a headache and sex at the same time?”

  153. You’d think by now I’d be prepared to have the costs of art endeavors be ludicrous. But nope – still blindsides me every time.

  154. >> What do natural women feel like?

    Fear. Cold sweat and fear.

    Wear gloves, Dave. It helps.

  155. What do natural women feel like?
    ———————-
    Totally loaded question. Let me clear, make no mistake, natural women feel just like you want them to feel.

  156. Me, I get nervous just thinkin about it.

  157. Last time I touched a natural woman, I wasted half an hour trying to figure out how to inflate her.

  158. Wear gloves, Dave. It helps.

    Heh, nothing relaxes the mood like snapping on a pair of latex gloves.

  159. Last time I touched a natural woman, I wasted half an hour trying to figure out how to inflate her.

    Hence, Laura’s latex comment.

  160. after hours party at Rosies’ meatup?:

  161. Eddiebear’s link: “the excavator driver swung the machine’s bucket at us, blatantly disregarding all health and safety rules.”

    hahahahahaha

  162. Go miners! Hope those assholes came away with some “lumps”.

  163. If women are so fucking awesome at multitasking, why can’t they have a headache and sex at the same time?”,

    Fuck a bunch of politics and recipes and pets and car wrecks and shit. Hotspur has the floor. Speak up, brother man.

  164. http://cbullitt.wordpress.com/2011/03/28/surprise-eco-tards-get-pummeled-after-invading-coal-mine/

    I make damned sure that when hippies come out to protest at one of my locations, they’re wearing a) hardhats, b) safety glasses, c) steel toe boots, d) cotton gloves, and e) fire retardent overalls. I don’t want those silly cocksuckers getting hurt by anything other than flying fists, swinging hammers, and pipewrenches. Else there could be a lot of paperwork to fill out.

  165. OK. I farted. But it should’ve cleared out by now.

  166. I’m sick and tired of being sick and tired.

  167. What a bunch of idiots. I thought it was already well established that Cat D-9 > lefty protester.

  168. Just as suspected: Energy Tribune: U.S. Has Earth’s Largest Energy Resources

    From this report: Congressional Research Service: U.S. Fossil Fuel Resources: Terminology, Reporting, and Summary

    Gee, I wonder where a huge amount of capital could be generated, at the same time enabling us to quit sending large amounts of money overseas.

  169. And it ain’t just Brazil that Barry’s courting for oil:

    http://www.americanthinker.com/2011/03/soros_wins_under_obamas_energy.html

    I swear to God, I hate that man more and more every day. I’m thinking there may be a LOT of Constitutional Amendments proposed (and quickly passed) when we finally kick his scrawny ass out of office……

  170. J’ames, if we increase our production of domestic petroleum, it will only undercut our $5Bn investment in Brazilian offshore oil drilling!

  171. If women are so fucking awesome at multitasking, why can’t they have a headache and sex at the same time?

    *digs through H2 toybox to try and find enough change to buy Hotspur a clue, finds long-lost goodie instead*

    I was wondering where I’d left this…….
    BBL

  172. I can’t believe I missed that all important investment, xbrad. Thanks!

  173. I think the Brazilians should repay our investment in hot swimsuit models.

  174. * Wonders how much do hot Brazilian swimsuit models cost?*

  175. *wonders too*

  176. Cyn, if you had a hot Brazilian swimsuit model, what would you DO with her?

  177. She’d invite me over for a threesome.

    Duh!

  178. if you had a hot Brazilian swimsuit model, what would you DO with her?

    I’m evil, so my immediate thought was to introduce her to my boyfriend and say ‘So, do you think she’s prettier than me?’ And then watch him squirm.
    Except that I’m not mean enough to actually do that….

  179. …prettier than I

  180. Hotspur, I have a new avatar image for you to use:

    http://tinyurl.com/ybkdbvl

  181. Hahahaha

    Just trying to help.

  182. Isn’t it “Hug a Sun Devil” day? *looks around for Cyn*

  183. Hotspur already has a spare avatar, Revvy:

    http://tinyurl.com/4d8etf9

  184. Teresa, can you give us an executive summary so we don’t have to click your link?

  185. Brew, how’s Buddy?

    Have you given him a good tummy rub for me today?

  186. Buddy is great. I scritched him behind the ear and gave him a giant milkbone and told him that was from his buddy xbrad in CA. He is now your friend for life.

  187. Is buddy inflatable?

  188. pervert!

  189. * Wonders how much do hot Brazilian swimsuit models cost?*

    If you have to ask…..

  190. In spite of his questionable taste in friends, Buddy is a wonderful dog. You need to post more pics of him.

  191. I WANT THE FRIGGEN OIL!!

    DRILLED….

    BY AMERICAN COMPANIES…….SELLING OIL TO THE US.

  192. Teresa, can you give us an executive summary so we don’t have to click your link?
    Why my children never let me go anywhere unattended…..

    Today’s entry is very short (it’s only 7 sentences long, and it has pictures!), and kinda funny.

    And I want the hits.

  193. If you have to ask…..

    TiFW, I’ve *already* paid.

    Now I’m just waiting on delivery.

  194. The lack of a coherent energy exploitation strategy is an immense drag on our economy. So, as much as I hate to say it, “I agree with Mare.”

  195. Brewfan, have things cooled down up in Madison, or are the crazies still demanding their pound of taxpayer flesh?

  196. And now for something completely different. . .

    http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=15I9k3qxbcY

  197. Mare, calm down. The EPA knows better than you.

  198. “Mare, calm down. The EPA knows better than you.”

    Yes, they are my betters.

  199. Everyone is YOUR better, Mare.

    **feels smug for the first time in a long, LONG time**`

  200. The President?

    On TV?

    OMG OMG OMG1111!!1!1!!!111

  201. One of you Jackholes had better have clicked on my link, dammit!

  202. MCPO, I did. I was hoping for Monty Python. Still funny. “That’s Craigslist gold right there”

  203. Roamy – Thanks for the sympathy click. “I can see why cats like this.”

  204. Olivia Munn?

    Yep:

    http://xbradtc.wordpress.com/2009/04/13/load-heat-41/

  205. Anybody watching the Douchebag in Chief?

  206. NNBFN.

  207. Thanks Xbad – teh hawt is strong in that one!

  208. Anybody watching the Douchebag in Chief?

    Doesn’t matter. According to the Iranians, the twelfth imam is coming.

    Makes my little job search seem downright silly.

  209. I am going to take a drink every time he lies.

    Call 911 in about 20 minutes.

  210. A matter of days? 3 weeks isn’t a matter of days.

    * drinks *

  211. Hahaha. Sophia is watching The Simpsons.

    It’s over.

  212. Congressional support?

    * drinks *

  213. “Douchebag in Chief?”

    Imma gonna steal that.

  214. Strong and growing coalition?

    * drinks *

  215. The prez speaks and the celebrations begin…

    http://www.liveleak.com/view?i=eec_1191730539

  216. Congressional support?
    * drinks *

    Someone in Congress needs to go after him like stink on crap for that one. Call him a LIAR on national TV. Do not stop.

  217. >> I am going to take a drink every time he lies.

    Wow. There must be a hell of an inventory at Casa W.

  218. Interesting. We handed over control of the no fly zone to NATO last week, now its the day after tomorrow.

    * drinks for previous lie *

  219. The prez speaks and the celebrations begin…
    http://www.liveleak.com/view?i=eec_1191730539

    HAHAHAHA….Why do I watch that video every time?

  220. Watching Scott take the fall for all of us is great!

  221. By the power of Greyskull!

  222. Because the Viking demands it!

  223. hahahahahahahahahahaha

  224. He refuses to ignore genocide in other parts of the world?

    * drinks *

  225. Daylight savings time is screwing up my drinking schedule. I was doing this and that waiting for 5:00 and low and behold it’s 6:45…..seemed earlier.

  226. ” I am not a weak president, I am a tough guy ”

    * barfs *

    * drinks *

  227. ” I am not a weak president, I am a tough guy ”

    WAIT!!!!!!!

    He actually said that??????

    He’s the biggest pussy in government.

  228. This is “real leadership”.

    * drinks *

  229. ” I am not a weak president, I am a tough guy ”

    Did he SERIOUSLY say that?

    Dude, if you say that, it’s over.
    Thin-skinned much?

  230. paraphrased Mare. He was trying to sound like a tough guy.

  231. ” I am not a weak president, I am a tough guy ”

    I’d go with the elk hide slippers to kick his ass, personally.

  232. Gotcha…………

  233. So Andy is now drunk?

  234. That wasn’t worth interrupting prime time TV.

    That’s why it didn’t happen.

  235. ” I am not a weak president, I am a tough guy ”

    * barfs *

    * drinks *

    – – – – – – –

    Dude, seriously, take it easy. This could get out of hand. Let me be everclear.

  236. Obama: What? Me Worry?

  237. Right on!

  238. Heh.

  239. Bwahahahaha @ Jim Pet… Pith….

    The Greek guy.

  240. What’s for dinner?

    http://tinyurl.com/4l6uhmo

  241. Soup? Again?

    http://tinyurl.com/677q8br

  242. Jim and Tammy seem to get it.

  243. That 20 minute speech just saved Rush about 3 days of show prep.

  244. Hey Herr,

    Did I miss the comment where you explained why you want to become a liquor wholesaler?

    Cut out the middle-man?

    http://tinyurl.com/6zlo9xe

  245. Well I’m more confused about what the fuck we’re doing in Libya now than ever.

    Speech FAIL!

  246. Did I miss the comment where you explained why you want to become a liquor wholesaler?

    The opportunity’s there, I dearly love wine, and I ain’t making any money throwing resumes at dipshits.

  247. >> That 20 minute speech just saved Rush about 3 days of show prep.

    Hahahahaha

    Tomorrow’s show should be epic.

  248. Jim and Tammy seem to get it.

    Jim started getting it elsewhere best I recall. Completely wrecked his ministry.

  249. Stephen Green drunkblogging…almost as good as Scott:

    4:50PM I’m pretty well loaded by now, but I seem to have given all this more thought than the administration.

  250. Cut out the middle-man?
    http://tinyurl.com/6zlo9xe

    Amen, Pupster.

  251. Is it too much for me to ask that I live long enough to see the gays and feminists who have stood silent be beaten to death by our new Sharia loving overlords?

  252. Did I miss anything good?

  253. Half pregnant in Libya and lookin for a way out.

  254. I missed it?

    someone bring me up to speed.

  255. He said “I am not a pussy”.

  256. I’m sorry I missed that.

  257. Is it too much for me to ask that I live long enough to see the gays and feminists who have stood silent be beaten to death by our new Sharia loving overlords?

    http://tinyurl.com/497yfbd

  258. Pupster, are you saying I sound nuts?

  259. >> He said “I am not a pussy”.

    Cue Joe Wilson.

  260. Well, I had this gif, see…and it’s of this cartoon horse, see…and, you know…your kind of a horse, in a way…and WAIT! NO!

    Shit.

  261. Well, okay then, Pupster.

    I don’t mind being called nuts as long as it’s not passive aggressive.

    SMOOOOOOOOOCH!

  262. “It was not in our national interest to let that happen. I refused to let that happen. And so nine days ago, after consulting the bipartisan leadership of Congress, I authorized military action to stop the killing and enforce UN Security Council Resolution 1973”

    Real quote Mare…. “after consulting the bipartisan leadership of Congress”

    I think that translates into….” I mentioned it to Pelosi and Snowe”

  263. Snowe is Senate, so that’s messed up, but it’s only half as dumb as the crap he said.

  264. “after consulting the bipartisan leadership of Congress”

    Like I said, he needs to be raked over the coals for that one………over and over again. People need to call him a liar. Consulting, what the hell is that bs?

  265. “after consulting the bipartisan leadership of Congress”

    Actually, that translates into “without congressional approval”.

  266. Did anybody crush anybody else’s car with a monster truck today?

  267. * tackles Mare *

    * consults bipartisan leadership *

    * administers peace keeping *

    * launches 120 cruise missiles *

  268. And so nine days ago, after consulting the bipartisan leadership of Congress, I authorized military action to stop the killing and enforce UN Security Council Resolution 1973″

    “And then I immediately left the country because I didn’t want to deal with it anymore…..”

  269. So now that Malik Shabazz of the New Black Panthers has mouthed off about Obama, anyone else think that Eric Holder’s DOJ might be rethinking their decision to keep from prosecuting that case?……

  270. Lauraw’s dog just went on a little walk beyond the the scope of our floodlights. He came back happy as hell with a squeak toy that just stinks of skunk. Good boy buddy.

    Bring beer next time.

  271. Only in Massachusetts …

    http://www.boston.com/business/articles/2011/03/25/possible_closure_of_shellfish_cleansing_plant_threatens_diggers_livelihoods/

    I wouldn’t be shocked if there was a taxpayer-subsidized buggywhip plant somewhere around here, too.

  272. I am glad I have inside dogs Scott

  273. *bills the “w” household for 120 billion dollars for missiles.*

  274. I’m surprised a dog with a skunky-stank squeak toy could find his way back home.

    Impressive.

  275. The buggywhip line was awesome.

  276. Bill Bennett is on Hanity

    I think Bennett is the absolute best possible unnamed presidential candidate for 2012.

  277. What I find interesting/funny/douchey is the fact the libs in the NE continually do the dumbest crap while simultaneously telling the rest of us we’re backward and stupid.

  278. Mare,,,,,you’re stupid.

  279. I did that just for you.

  280. >> I wouldn’t be shocked if there was a taxpayer-subsidized buggywhip plant somewhere around here, too.

    No different than farm subsidies. Out here in the hinterlands where we are not backward and stupid. But we know how to latch on to the tit.

  281. We have the stupidest smart people on the planet.

  282. Ace is right about this:

    “Seems to me he was pretty cool with Saddam’s slaughter.”

    The Kurdish massacre (with weapons of mass destruction) was pretty vicious. The assdouche just should have voted “present” as usual. UNACCOUNTABILITY is the new leadership.

  283. Ohhhh crap…..dog smells skunky……..

  284. Thanks, Scott!

    What about backward?

    (please note I said NE libs, not everyone in the NE)

  285. Mare is smart!
    UNACCOUNTABILITY is the new leadership.

  286. Did he say “Let me clear?” That’s my favorite tag line. It’s almost as good as “DYN-O-MITE!” by JJ Walker.

    Oh, and I’m a rassist for that ill attempted joke.

  287. Mare knows that I love her.

  288. I’m evil, so my immediate thought was to introduce her to my boyfriend and say ‘So, do you think she’s prettier than me?’ And then watch him squirm.

    He would just look you straight in the eyes and say, “Sweetie, you have that special beauty that comes from inside, and she can’t compete.”

    He would be bullshitting, of course, but if he can’t deliver a line like that with a straight face, you need a new boyfriend.

  289. There’s nothing particularly unique about people who figure out how to get somebody else to pay for what they want.

    Even that smart Texas businessman T. Boone Pickens tried like hell to get Texas to pay for his grid so he could make a mint off of (a pile of now rusting) wind-turbines.

  290. OPM

  291. OPE

  292. It’s just math, Revvy.

    Probabality of getting laid with Brazilian model = 0%

    Probabability of getting laid with Revy > .00001%

    This is a no-brainer.

  293. Ditto, Scott!

    “Did he say “Let me clear?” That’s my favorite tag line. It’s almost as good as “DYN-O-MITE!” by JJ Walker.”

    This is great, now I’m going to think about DYN-O-MITE every time he says, “let me be clear.”

    HAHAHAHAHAHA………Every now and then I wonder if I don’t respect him because he’s a lib, then I remember, “no, mare, he’s hung out with anarchists and his wife wasn’t too proud of her country” and I think, “no, I despise him because he’s a douche, pretender, affirmative action, ass covering, America hating, Ayers/Wright loving, community organizing, do nothing, know nothing idiot.”

  294. you left out “pussy”

  295. http://twitpic.com/4egp4q

  296. I couldn’t bring myself to watch President Pitching Wedge tonight. How bad was it?

  297. Rand Paul kicks Obama in the poon: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=UrrV_Txg47Q

  298. Even that smart Texas businessman T. Boone Pickens tried like hell to get Texas to pay for his grid so he could make a mint off of (a pile of now rusting) wind-turbines.

    Emphasis on TRIED…..

    The rest of the country may think we’re a bunch of stupid rednecks, but you have to get up pretty early in the morning to pull one over on most of us –

  299. The Mustache of Justice™ is going to be on Greta at about 10:10 to beat Obama like a pinata.

  300. “you left out “pussy””

    Damn it!!!

  301. well my point was, there’s nothin particularly unique about libs and govt teat-suckers in the northeast.

    They’re kinda the same everywhere. Including bitches in Iowa taking ethanol subsidies.

  302. Rand hit an important point, are we installing a religious government for a secular one?

    What do you all think of Rand Paul. I just don’t know. Is he as goofy as his dad? That youtube speech was fantastic, but what about his overall motivations?

  303. Hahahaha

  304. He went to Baylor.

    fag.

  305. I played Halo Reach, did Teh iWon do the Ethiopian Shim-Sham?

    http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=-O6AoXROoN0

  306. Rand Paul I meant, he went to Baylor. Not Jesus.

    Despite what Baylor says on their website about Jesus attending and all.

  307. DinT – Be nice. The Bears are still in the Woman’s Basketball Tourney!

  308. Wiki says he scored in the 90th percentile on the MCAT’s, he was a member of the Young Conservatives…..

    What if he’s a hell of a lot smarter and more conservative than his father?

  309. Oh hells yes they are. Britney Griner and the gals, I think they’re goin to the show.

    They gotta beat A&M again tomorrow night. They’ve beaten em three times this year.

    basketball question. Hey, I ain’t no expert, Kim Mulkey has put together a National Championship winning program and all.. I’m just spitballin here,

    But if you had an Amazon center like Britney, why the heck wouldn’t you just play zone? Put her in the middle and say “ok, beat her, if you can”.

    I don’t get it.

    (proudly thrown out of BU in 1979)

  310. straight in the eyes and say, “Sweetie, you have that special beauty that comes from inside, and she can’t compete.” He would be bullshitting, of course, but if he can’t deliver a line like that with a straight face, you need a new boyfriend.

    Yep. That line “special kind of beauty” is nice. But the ability to keep a straight face is the real winner.

    Trust. Me.

  311. Dave, didn’t you get kicked out of Baylor and doesn’t that make them the smartest university in the US?

    My university didn’t kick me out, which makes them the dumbest.

  312. Mare, I don’t even hold a grudge.

    Hell, I woulda kicked my ass out too.

  313. Dave, didn’t you get kicked out of Baylor and doesn’t that make them the smartest university in the US?

    My university didn’t kick me out, which makes them the dumbest.

    I feel the same way about Rutgers.

    GO SCARLET KNIGHTS!

  314. Would you guys please tell me what you think about Rand Paul?

  315. he’s still a fag.

  316. Apple. Tree. Tape measure.

    Some assembly required.

  317. Greta: What did you think of the speech?

    Bolton’s Mustache: I thought it was pathetic.

    fin

  318. Mare – He has a lovely permanent.

  319. Okay….I’m a little concerned about that how far he falls too….he sounds good, on paper he looks good……you guys are not that helpful right now.

    I’m a Rubio/Ryan conservative.

    Pence needs to run. Newt makes me puke. Huckabee can kiss my ass, Romney needs to own up, and everyone else, I don’t know enough about to make a decision.

  320. If you read his Wiki policy positions, he looks pretty good.

  321. I think Rand Paul is, so far, a pretty good freshman Senator.

  322. If mare falls in the forest and no Hostage is there, does she give a crap or pretend her ankle is injured?

  323. Mare – Write Senator Paul an email and ask him to outline his take on U.S. Foreign Policy.

  324. MCPO, is that your way of saying he’s an isolationist?

    DO NOT WANT.

  325. Thanks, xbrad, is that your way of saying he doesn’t have enough experience to run for President?

  326. On Rand Paul, and I’m totally serial,

    If he is so dumb he won’t avoid 9/11 Truther, Crazy Fucking Idiot Alex Jones like an AIDS-infested plague-ridden radioactive salmonella smeared piece of skunky dog-toy dragged into his back yard by goofy-Bubba, I don’t want a god damned thing in the world to do with him.

    I’d just as soon take a wire brush to him with a giant can of tomato juice, and see if I can scrub the stink off of him.

  327. What’s block of cheese’s foreign policy?

  328. http://tinyurl.com/4e3hzbp

  329. Okay, let me spell this out so we can avoid all that fun sarcasm, I, obviously, have not followed his career. After a certain point, his father was not a consideration for me. I did not know he was affiliated with Alex Jones, although I know his father was.

    Now, generally, I get the idea Dave doesn’t like him, but I was sincerely asking for an opinion about him without specifically saying, keep the sarcasm out of it….my mistake.

  330. DinT, I hadn’t heard that Rand Paul was associated with Alex The Asshole Jones. Shed a little light for me, will ya, brother?

  331. Alex Jones + any candidate = stench unable to overlook

  332. Mare – I gave you a link to an excellent article.

  333. Radio interviews. Available on youtube.

    Should have been refused on general principle. My sarcastic opinion.

    Now, they don’t even go into the whole 9/11 thing, Rand’s not that dumb. Nor has Rand ever given any indication he brooks with that nonsense.

    But Rand cannot be so stupid he doesn’t know about Alex Jones, and he’d have gone far higher in my estimation if he has said “Alex Jones is a despicable 9/11 truther, and I will not go on his show”

  334. “But Rand cannot be so stupid he doesn’t know about Alex Jones, and he’d have gone far higher in my estimation if he has said “Alex Jones is a despicable 9/11 truther, and I will not go on his show””

    I totally agree.

    MCPO, I read it.

  335. http://www.thesmokinggun.com/documents/crime/hooker-democrat-big-extortion-plot

    I just saw Hugh Hewitt eviscerating Bob Beckel on Fox a little while ago. Maybe Bob was distracted?

  336. Other than he’s a first termer, MCPO, it doesn’t say anything really negative against him. It even mentions;

    Paul could bring the constitutionalist message to the forefront of the Republican primary debates without getting sidetracked into theoretical discussions of libertarianism.

    Sounds good, but that’s why Dave associating him with Alex Jones is tainting.

  337. Rand would be good in primary debates. I don’t want him as a general candidate.

  338. It ain’t sarcasm if I mean it. Just sayin.

    This is a big part of my problem with Ron Paul. He flirts with crap without admitting he believes it. I think that’s cowardly, and a good indicator of what he really believes.

    I feel the same way about Rand. Without a strong aversion, he’s just jerking us around on that topic. Even if I agree with his positions on limited government and crushing debt.

  339. anyway, enough o that. I still like my Obama Jesus joke, and also it’s bedtime.

  340. DaveinTejas – It was an EXCELLENT joke!

  341. Apparently some Black Panthers are calling Obama an “Uncle Tom”.

    I knew he’d have to be white before it was okay to hate him, I just wasn’t sure what would do it.

  342. True, but I’m gonna have to splain that one I think during the St. Peter entrance interview.

  343. No, I get that, Dave, and I respect your opinion, that’s why I really wanted it.

    I truly had not followed Rand Paul and wondered if he was as weird as his father. On paper he seems pretty good, but like you, I feel if he’s a 9/11 douche he deserves our scorn.

    Coward = Obama…..Again….DO. NOT. WANT.

  344. Dave…don’t go to bed until you’ve read my last comment!

  345. Leon, what have you heard?

  346. Mare – In 2012, I will vote for a Republican Dalmatian rather than Obambi!

  347. MCPO, I would vote for genital herpes before I vote for Obama.

    I sincerely don’t know about a number of candidates and was hoping the Hostage would school me.

  348. message received, ack.

    This is totally unfair, but I think he’s too smart to skinny up close to some of his dad’s more controversial opinions. A reasonable explanation is “hey, he’s my dad, and he’s also a US Congressman”. Which seems reasonable, if you’re not a United States Senator.

    Also avoiding controversy is reasonable, for a Senator.

    So it’s purely selfish of me to say “I really want you to forcefully repudiate these things”. Why the hell should he do that? For me? feh.

    But if he decides to become a candidate for President, well then these are absolutely fair game.

    We demanded no less from Obama over Wright, Ayers, et.al., and Obama refused. And we rightly think “well hell, he refused because he genuinely thinks they’re cool and shit”.

    So there it is Rand. If you don’t deny, that’s tacit approval. Just like President Jesus McAwesome.

  349. Leon, what have you heard?

    About Rand? Relatively little. As was said, so far he’s a great freshman senator. Regardless of his positions or other accomplishments, I don’t think that qualifies anyone to be president.

  350. “So there it is Rand. If you don’t deny, that’s tacit approval. Just like President Jesus McAwesome.”

    Amen……Sweet dreams, Dave.

  351. Mare, what color saddle are you wearing…RIGHT NOW?!

  352. BROWN!

  353. I guess you had to think about it for a while, huh?

    But you look good in leather.

    I mean, it’s no latex…

  354. I took riding lessons and the instructors main comment was, “you have amazing stamina, you never get tired.”

  355. Low. Hanging. Fruit.

  356. “you have amazing stamina, you never get tired.”

    I used to be like that, then I realized I was just wasting valuable sleep time.

  357. It’ll be fun to watch Mare’s head assplode as she reads this….

    http://weaselzippers.us/2011/03/28/obama-on-illegal-aliens-we-don%E2%80%99t-want-to-deport-them-we-want-them-to-succeed/

  358. Michelle Bachmann!

  359. You mothershampooers have got to stop posting so much. I’m busy and I can’t keep up.

    Also, last week’s BBF doesn’t even rise to the glory of “butterface.” Can I get an amen?

  360. Xbrad, several brain cells wondered off as I read that article.

    My overall thought………..FFFFFFFFFUUUUUUUUUU obama

    (but I mean that in a nice way)

  361. It wasn’t her face I was looking at, Mrs. Peel.

    How’s the whole “popsicle stick with an egg taped to it” look on you so far?

  362. Iowahawk had a hashtag game today that was right up my alley – #chantsagainstmath. My contributions, which no one liked:

    -Euclid, Euler, Gauss, & Riemann / Who needs all those dead white men?
    -e to the u du dx / We would rather integrate sex!
    -ODEs that equal 0/Are homophobic and must go!
    -Readin’ writin’ & ‘rithmetic/Your patriarchy makes me sick

  363. I popped out big time in the last couple weeks. Luckily, I haven’t gained any actual weight to speak of, so my face still looks relatively the same.

    Baby Peel is apparently going to be an Olympic swimmer, judging from the forward crawl he’s been practicing every time I sit or lie still for at least ten minutes.

  364. I didn’t actually make much note of BBF girl. If it’s not Erica Campbell, who cares?

  365. Damn kids and their twitter.

    Peelio’s kid is gonna be able to instantaneously transmit with his mind, but instead of 160 characters, he only gets to use one punctuation mark.

  366. Also, last week’s BBF doesn’t even rise to the glory of “butterface.” Can I get an amen?

    AMEN, SISTAH!!!

  367. PREACH IT!!!

  368. Holy crap, it’s past 12. Bedtime.

  369. Also, last week’s BBF doesn’t even rise to the glory of “butterface.” Can I get an amen?

    AMEN!

  370. So far, there has really only been one truly exceptional BBF model

    *cough*

  371. Baby Peel just kicked me right in the bladder, like 3 times in a row. I think that means it’s time for me to pee one last time and then go to bed.

    (I hate having to get up in the middle of the night…don’t know how all you old guys stand it.)

    Night y’all

  372. So far, there has really only been one truly exceptional BBF model

    Great first photo, crappy bathing suit photo.

  373. I actually kinda liked the bathing suit photo.

    Except you couldn’t see her feet.

  374. Good night, losers.

  375. good nigh….hey! I’m not a loser. That you know of.

  376. BAD RILEY!!!

    No pooping on the sidewalk!

  377. Those look like some fake tittays, Bruce. Especially in the swimsuit pic.

  378. fuck this shit

  379. new poat

  380. Last night Mr. L and I were having dinner and we saw the absolute hugest tittays that either of us had ever seen in real life.

    We estimated that they weighed at least 20 pounds each.


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