Big Boob Friday™

Hello and welcome to Big Boob Friday you cork-sucking sominabatch farging iceholes.  I was officially diagnosed with el goutcho earlier this week so that sucks all sorts of farm animals.  For those of you unfamiliar with el goutcho, please watch THIS educational video.

This means a few dietary changes including less red meat and shellfish and LESS BACON!!  Less beer (BOO!!!) and more vodka (YAY!!!!).  Milk and cheese are good and so are fruit (like) and vegetables (barf).

So there you go.  El Goutcho, go fuck thee.  Bocephus and I will kick your ass.

Today we celebrate black history month.  Thanks to fucking assholes like Jesse Jackson, Al Sharpton and Jeremiah Wright, race relations not only haven’t improved in the last 20 or 30 years, they may have actually taken a step back.

Well, if there is one thing that brings all races together it’s big boobs so the shakedown artists at the Raindow Coalition and the National Action Network can go fuck themselves.  Here we speak the language of all races.

Your lovely model for today was born a poor black child on November 19th, 1984 in sunny California.

She’s 5 ft 5 in, weighs 125 pounds and has an IQ of 38DD-29-39.

In an effort to help Middle Eastern men adjust to the Western ideal of not fucking boys and goats, she has made dozens of instructional videos on how to have sexual intercourse with a woman.  For this she deserves but has not yet been awarded a Nobel Peace Prize.

Please stop trying to figure out the Obama administration’s position on Egypt and welcome our official Black History Hottie of the month and your model for today, February 4th, 2011, Stacy Adams!!  YAY!!!

It goes without saying that any complaints or problems that you have with Ms. Adams are due solely to the fact that you’re a racist so you should probably keep those comments to yourself.  Or you can put them in the official H2 suggestion box which is located in your mom’s squeakhole.

In addition to this post, there are several other kick ass things that happened on this day.  For instance…

* in 1902, Charles Lindbergh was born in Detroit.

* in 1913, civil rights activist Rosa Parks was born.

* in 1913, Bobby Knight‘s mentor Woody Hayes was born.

* in 1921, feminist writer Betty Friedan was born in Peoria, Illinois.

* in 1940, zombie auteur George A. Romero was born.

* in 1941, the United Service Organization (USO) was founded.

*  in 1945, FDR, Churchill and Stalin met at Yalta.

* in 1947, Dan Quayle was born.

* in 1962, “Gay Life” closed at Shubert Theater after 113 performances.  MCPO and Hotspur hardest hit.

* in 1969, Chastity Bono was born in Los Angeles.

* in 1977, Fleetwood Mac‘s “Rumours” was released.

* in 1983, Karen Carpenter died of anorexia at the age of 32.

* in 1987, penis pianist Liberace died at the age of 67.  I like how he always kept Mrs. Liberace out of the spotlight.

* in 1987, Ronaldus Magnus‘s veto of the “Clean Water Act” was overridden by Congress.

I’ve been on the wagon this week and I plan on  jumping the fuck off tonight and hanging out here and calling you names.  Whatever you have planned, always remember: it’s better to be remembered for taking your pants off in public that to not be remembered at all.

CHEERS!!

Housekeeping?

*

KA-POW!!!

If you think it was difficult to find three PG pictures of Stacy, you would be correctamundo!

289 Comments

  1. There is a $20 cover charge to this thread.

  2. The happy hour poat is here!

  3. SHOTGUN!!!!

  4. I always thought Stalin was teh hawt.

  5. That’s really not exactly what I was expecting when I asked the lovely Ms. Adams to put that little french maid’s outfit on.

  6. Reminds me, I need to go dust my bedspread.

  7. Christ – She must have held her breath during the short interval that she kept that maid’s outfit on.

    In fact, I’m willing to bet that it was removed by her inhaling and immediately popping every seam from the waist up.

  8. By the way, I like that Carpenter’s song.

    But I think I’ve seen a better video using that song before.

    http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=yslIfUtFDPQ

  9. In fact, I’m willing to bet that it was removed by her inhaling and immediately popping every seam from the waist up.

    HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!!! Revvy thinks today’s BBF is teh fat.

    Honey, you ain’t seen nothing……

  10. I don’t think she’s fat – I think that costuming was just well aware that that maid’s outfit wouldn’t have to remain on her for that long.

  11. I always thought Stalin was teh hawt.

    But I think I’ve seen a better video using that song before.

    http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=yslIfUtFDPQ

    Hahahahahahaha X 2.

  12. I think that costuming was just well aware that that maid’s outfit wouldn’t have to remain on her for that long.

    I’m impressed that costuming came up with something that kept her bewbs above her waist without using a crane.

  13. Hahahahahahaha X 2.

    Don’t you have a package to open?

  14. Howdy.

    *takes pants off

  15. *takes pants off

    MY EYES!!! THE PAIN!! MY EY…. heeeeeeeey now……

  16. Ouch, Dallas, looks like all the celebrities are bashing on you. Big Surprise.

    Dallasnews.com: Celebrities, national media react to Super Bowl snow ‘debacle’

    Show em how it’s done. I don’t care for the Cowboys, but you guys can put on a show, that’s for sure.

  17. Take that bra off and her booblages will be longer than her hair extensions.

  18. Don’t you have a package to open?

    Some idiot scheduled me for a 4pm CST teleconference today so I’ve been scrambling to prepare for that. However I am aware that a package came today wrapped up like it was the Holy Grail.

    I will open it up after my phone call and report back.

    I hope it’s a new liver, kidney or foot!!

  19. Roosevelt – Another fine job. Pour yourself a vodka. . . and pour me one too.

  20. Take that bra off and her booblages will be longer than her hair extensions.

    compos, what are you doing this weekend?

    http://tinyurl.com/2dbzcbj

  21. I shall return around 5:45 blog time with vodka for everyone!

  22. official H2 suggestion box which is located in your mom’s squeakhole.

    Hahahahahahaha

  23. I’ll just tell myself what all lesser endowed ladies tell themselves – at least mine won’t be sagging to my knees in thirty years.

  24. Revvy – More than a handful is a waste. But, I have very large hands!

  25. Afternoon. I have returned from my trip to the liquor store. What happened?

  26. Who dusts a bedspread?

  27. Who dusts a bedspread?
    ——-
    HAHAHAHA. Only hostagettes and Scott would notice that.

  28. There is a $20 cover charge to this thread.

    Is that for the wimmins too?

  29. People who live in clean homes.

  30. MJ — Batman and I braved 5″ of white-stuff to do a liquor and cigs run also.

  31. I get really dry skin in the winter. HotBride came up to bed the other night when she first got home, and when she went in the bedroom she said “What’s all of this dust all over the place?”

    I said “I think it’s dead skin.”

    Hahahahahaha

  32. Cathy – I got your cover charge, but the 2 drink minimum is up to you.

  33. I hate it that so many of my Hostage buddies smoke.

  34. I hate it that so many of my Hostage buddies smoke.

    Still one less than this time last year…..

  35. 2 drink minimum is no prob, Chief.

    I never have smoked, Hotspur, and never will.

    I’ll just try to be ‘smokin’ as long as I can. Howz that?

  36. MJ — Batman and I braved 5″ of white-stuff to do a liquor and cigs run also.
    —————
    You’ll hate me for this, but it’s 80 degrees. I put the top down on the convertible.

  37. Alert the Media!

    No longer a Luddite. Batman gave me a TomTom.

  38. I’ll just try to be ‘smokin’ as long as I can. Howz that?

    *thud

  39. I hate it that so many of my Hostage buddies smoke.

    Weren’t for bad habits I wouldn’t have any at all.

  40. You will love it Cathy, once you get used to it.

  41. WOO HOO!!!

    http://tinyurl.com/4t6qsbw

  42. I gave up cocaine and black tar heroin already!!!

  43. I can’t hate you Mj. I’ve got a convertible.

    I could put the top down right now. No prob.

    Sun’s out. Temps will rise soon enough.

  44. I put the top down on the convertible.

    I pulled the Jag out of the garage last weekend and had the top down.

    But that’s just because the damn convertible top motor isn’t working and I needed to pull the Hyundai into the garage to do the brakes, ’cause it was too fucking cold outside to do them.

  45. I gave up being correct all the time. Too much work. *lol*

    Don’t plan to ever give up bacon, chicken-fried steak, biscuits and gravy, heavy cream sauces, butter, rare red meat, cheese, hot peppers, liquor, beer, or wine.

  46. I think some hot wings and beer are in order for supper tonight.

  47. Proud of you, Wiser, for doing your own brakes.

    *kewell*

  48. I think some hot wings and beer are in order for supper tonight.

    HOT WINGS!!!!!!

    *mouth waters*

  49. I’ll just try to be ‘smokin’ as long as I can. Howz that?

    I’ll drink to that.

  50. Still below freezing here according to my phone, but it’s supposed to go back up to 50 tomorrow and be in the 50s and 60s for the next week or so. That will be nice. Not as nice as being in the 80s, of course, but nice.

    *pulls up MJ’s address* *goes to hardware store for fertilizer and a length of PVC*

  51. Cinnamon toast and hot chocolate for me, I’m thinking.

  52. Hey Peelie! Got any cravings?

  53. Peelio – How you doing, hon?

  54. Proud of you, Wiser, for doing your own brakes.

    Honestly, it is probably the easiest auto repair possible. Slightly more difficult than emptying the ashtray, slightly less difficult than a tune-up.

    I am, however, ticked at myself for wasting all the money I have over the years paying other people to do them for me.

    Seriously, paying someone to do a brake job on your car is like paying a hooker to give you a hand job.

  55. Proud of you, Wiser, for doing your own brakes.

    It;s amazing what the desire to keep spending down will do for you.

    Now if I could just make my own tires………

  56. Now if I could just make my own tires………

    Here’s one better, Wiser.

    http://www.hollowtop.com/sandals.htm

  57. Here’s one better, Wiser.

    Where were you last week when I needed this information……..

  58. I’ll take “Things you can do with old tires” for $200 Alex!

  59. Testing

  60. Seriously, paying someone to do a brake job on your car is like paying a hooker to give you a hand job.
    ————-
    ****Moves hands up and down like weighing something.

    Hmmmm. I never thought of it like that. Because I used to be a six sigma dude, I guess I can consider masterbation as money saved.

  61. Why does WordPussy keep hammering my comments when I poat from my phone?

  62. Who is the service provider Hotspur?

  63. in 1945, FDR, Churchill and Stalin met at Yalta.

    Good one, Rosetta, ya got me.

  64. Woops – now I remember why I watch political videos with headphones on. Doing otherwise pisses off my flatmate.

  65. Because I used to be a six sigma dude, I guess I can consider masterbation as money saved.

    Bwahahahahahahaha!!!

    Modeling vs. testing – I heard one senior engineer tell a bunch of modeling people that modeling was like masturbation – after a while, you begin to believe it’s the real thing.

  66. ……..six sigma……

    *loads gun……

  67. I’m gonna go out on a limb here and suggest that most Hostagettes think Valentine’s Day is bullshit.

  68. I’m gonna go out on a limb here and suggest that most Hostagettes think Valentine’s Day is bullshit.

    Your limb hasn’t broken off yet….

    Valentine’s Day is bullshit.

    St. Valentine was pretty cool though.

  69. “Valentine’s Day is bullshit.”

    Agreed.

    “Reminds me, I need to go dust my bedspread.”

    hahahahahahahah….Scott

  70. I don’t need someone to tell me when to do something extra special for my bride. Fuck you, Hallmark.

    And I ❤ Cathy and Mare.

  71. Good one, Rosetta, ya got me.

    WIN!!

  72. *loads gun……
    ————–

    ****holds up mirror to reflect sun in wiser’s eyes. Runs for cover.

  73. Valentine’s Day is the one day of the year where I’m a total douche to Mrs. Rosetta.

    She hates Valentine’s Day.

  74. I hit the link for Rosetta’s educational video on gout and scared the crap out of my kitten.

    SHUT YOUR SKANK MOUTHS!!!!!!!!!!!

  75. Does anyone actually give a shit about teh Stupor Bowl?

  76. Mare, if you ever meet Rosetta it will scare the shit out of your kitten. IYKWIMAITTYD

  77. I don’t follow football.

  78. ROSETTA!!! CALL ME NOW PLEASE!!!

  79. I hit the link for Rosetta’s educational video on gout and scared the crap out of my kitten.

    SHUT YOUR SKANK MOUTHS!!!!!!!!!!!

    Hahahahahahahahaha!!!

    *meow*

    And that video is recorded a little on the LOUD end.

    Also, – 87,500 points for referring to el goutcho as “gout”.

  80. ROSETTA!!! CALL ME NOW PLEASE!!!

    Are you serious?

  81. Does anyone actually give a shit about teh Stupor Bowl?

    The only reason I am interested in watching it is that there MIGHT be an IBM commercial airing starring my 99 year old grandmother.

    Oh, and hopefully seeing Rapethisburger get a concussion.

  82. Are you serious?

    yes

  83. “Also, – 87,500 points for referring to el goutcho as “gout”.”

    So the decision has been made that you will not deal with this DISEASE (hahahahaha) in a reality based fashion.

    I don’t even know what i’m saying.

  84. So the decision has been made that you will not deal with this DISEASE (hahahahaha) in a reality based fashion.
    ———-
    Actually that was perfect.

    I still like the, “do you drink heavily?”

    “What?”

  85. Mare does the little guy have a name yet?

  86. I think wiser needs to be held.

  87. I still like the, “do you drink heavily?”

    “Compared to what?”

  88. “Local genius”

    HAHAHAHAHAHA

    Dispatcher: 911, what’s your emergency?

    Michelson: Uh, let’s not get into that yet.

    HAHAHAHAHAHAHA……..

  89. “Compared to what?”
    ————-
    Six sigma douchebag line.

    Compared to the average Lichehnsteinian?

  90. Scott, I don’t know why, but we are having the hardest time picking a name. We want the girls to like it and they think they are all “cute.”

    My husband really likes him a lot but has not been helpful like he normally would be.

    I’m in a pickle.

  91. Houston got punked over the whole blizzards on its way gig so Sohos didn’t work. I went rented a flick (hardly any left) came home watched it then shut the dvd down and started flipping channels. Same fucking flick I had just rented was finishing up on one of our movie channels. Gay

  92. Mare I am assuming that idiot lives with his parents because nobody that dumb could afford a house in that town. The authorities can confiscate the house for cultivation.

  93. “Same fucking flick I had just rented was finishing up on one of our movie channels. Gay”

    LOL…..sometimes stuff just doesn’t work out.

  94. A name will happen on its own, almost always happens. When I was a kid the neighbors had a cat named Glue Back.

  95. I think wiser needs to be held.

    And his monkey, hotspur. Don’t forget to hold his monkey.

  96. “A name will happen on its own, almost always happens. When I was a kid the neighbors had a cat named Glue Back.”

    OMG…HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAA

    Really?

  97. this is good stuff if you haven’t seen it yet

    http://tinyurl.com/6ajjdlo

  98. He is the most affectionate, loving little sweet heart.

    He’s funny too. Makes me laugh a lot.

    If he was a lazy asshole, I’d call him Rosetta.

  99. I like weird names for pets. My Chihuahua is named Face Ripper. We call her Rip.

  100. I ain’t touching his mutha’ fuckin’ monkey. That’s Mare’s job.

  101. I think wiser needs to be held.

    just a little….

  102. I ain’t touching his mutha’ fuckin’ monkey. That’s Mare’s job.

    TOUCH MY MONKEY!!!!!

    .
    .
    .
    .
    .
    omg, it’s a corona…..

  103. Goddamn, I got hammered that night.

  104. He is the most affectionate, loving little sweet heart.

    How about General Tso?

  105. Really Mare. Their cat had a big litter and the kids got to name them all. One managed to get into glue and a name was born. I wish I could remember some of the others, they were all good.

    What did the Wiserkids name something ….Princess Thunder Paws?

  106. Count, I’ve heard him before but that one was fantastic and powerful!

  107. Goddamn, I got hammered that night.

    woof. Tell me about it. at least 3 days to recover.

    2nd greatest night I’ve had in the last 5 years.

  108. Is the first your birthday?

  109. Kittens would be cooler if they didn’t turn into cats.

  110. What was the first?

  111. What did the Wiserkids name something ….Princess Thunder Paws?

    Originally it was Rainbow Princess Paws, until we learned it was a male cat. Then it became Rainbow Thunder Paws.

    Which I immediately shortened to “Mac.”

    ‘Cause there was no way in hell I was gonna stand on my porch and call “Rainbow Thunder Paws” in for dinner.

  112. Is the first your birthday?

    Oh hells yeah. An amazing party that I will remember until the day I die.

    Well, parts of it, anyway.

  113. Kittens are awesome. So precious and cute.

    But I’ve had great luck with my cats. Good companions, sweet, affectionate. Most were great hunters and I’ve never had one that went outside their box (unless they went outside).

    Vomiting is sometimes an issue. Stupid hairballs.

  114. My Chihuahua is named Face Ripper.

    HAHAHAHA!!!

    I always wanted to get a poodle and name him “Psychokiller.”

  115. Does anyone actually give a shit about teh Stupor Bowl?

    No. Glad they’re all here in town and spending big bucks, but NO.

    Will watch, enjoy, drink, and make those tasty sammiches Michael requested…

    http://thepioneerwoman.com/cooking/2011/01/the-mm-sandwich-pw-style/

  116. “Cause there was no way in hell I was gonna stand on my porch and call “Rainbow Thunder Paws” in for dinner.”

    HAHAHAHAHAHA….I’m not even drinking (yet) and you MOFOs are funny tonight!

  117. The cop was really cool. He knew we were all not gonna drive, and even though we were definitely Drunk & Disorderly he let it slide.

    Best Meatup evar.

  118. Best Meatup evar.

    I sincerely doubt that it will ever be topped. All other parties from this point forward will pale in comparison.

    “Can I hold your gun?”

  119. I always wanted to get a poodle and name him “Psychokiller.”

    Either that or get a doberman and name him “fluffy.”

  120. Mare, name him Porch Monkey.

  121. Aw man… makes me sad I missed all those meatups… And will prolly miss the next.

    Friggen college.

  122. “Mare, name him Porch Monkey.”

    Next!

  123. HAHAHAHAHAHA….I’m not even drinking (yet) and you MOFOs are funny tonight!

    That was a true story.

    We once gave a doberman/German Shepard mix puppy to my in-laws after they lost their beloved lab. He was an adorable puppy with hyuge paws. He had trouble walking, they were so big. So he just stumbled everywhere.

    We had already named him before we gave him to them. JD. When my MiL asked what JD stood for, I told her “Genius Dog.” She looked at me dumbfounded for a bot, then laughed her ass off.

    So the name stuck.

  124. Neighbor across the street used to have a miniature Dachshund named Hercules. My Dad’s mini Dachshund is named Ralph. He named it after a super-studly friend of his whose name really is Ralph but who hides that fact and makes everybody call him Mike. Just to piss him off.

    My old neighbor in Hartford, little Irish lady with an accent, adopted the abandoned cat of our old scummy rock band tenants. His name was Spit.

    So in the evenings, we could hear her sweet lilting voice across the neighborhood, “Spit! Spi-it! Come, Spit!”

  125. Rainbow Thunder Paws is Floyd’s real name.

  126. “Will you frisk Rosetta?”

  127. “That was a true story.”

    That’s why I thought it was funny, I could just picture it.

    “Spit! Spi-it! Come, Spit!”

    HAHAHAHAHAHA

  128. Hahahaha

    When I was in fifth grade we got a priest who was really into sports. So for the first time evar we were going to have a football and basketball team.

    So he had this contest where kids could submit names for our team.

    My dad, being the devious bastard that he was told me to submit The Powderpuffs. He said the other schools will laugh, then underestimate your school.

    So I did.

    Worst mistake evar. Father John stood me up in front of the whole student body and said he’d thought the fifth graders were too young to participate because they’re babies, and to prove it: here is the biggest baby in the class: making me stand up.

    My dad? Laughed his fucking ass off. Worst dad evar.

  129. “Michael! Stop trying to break into that van!”

  130. Did you guys watch Count’s link? It was really, really, really, good.

    But serious, so you may want to save it for later.

  131. It’s too bad the cop came around after Michael was scoping out the bearings company RV.
    We could have sent Ossifer Paul out there to make Michael brown his undies.

  132. Cuffy: Hey, you have your keys with you?

    Me: Sure.

    Cuffy: Can I borrow them?

    Me: Sure.

    Cuffy: *spikes 4 beers* Here.

    SHOTGUN!

    *gets keys back, smelling of beer*

  133. We could have sent Ossifer Paul out there to make Michael brown his undies.

    So many missed opportunities……

  134. A college buddy of mine had a black lab as a kid. The dog’s name was Nigger.

    It was wrong, but that is how things were 40 years ago in Logan Ohio. The first black family to ever live in Logan Ohio? They moved in across the street.

    Talk about awkward.

  135. How is it we always end up with an interesting character just sort of joing our group no matter where we go?

    Pirate Steve

    Steve, the reunion guy

    Paul the cop.

    (I can’t tell you how glad I am that the cop’s name wasn’t Steve.)

  136. Hotspur………hahahahahahahahah…..that’s a great story.

  137. “Okay, one more picture, this time with everyone except Michael.”

  138. I’m in a pickle.

    So name him Pickles…..

  139. Hahahaha

    Scott, my uncle from Detroit gave me a black German Shepherd puppy when I was about six. He said it’s name was Jig.

    My mom said we could change it. So I picked Lady. Best dog evar.

  140. Name him “Salt.”

    Don’t tell anyone why.

    Smile knowingly every time you use his name.

  141. Our cute little fluffy grey kitten was just like a little puffball, so we named her “Puff”.

    A couple of weeks later, it became MUCH more obvious that “she” was a “he”, so the name was changed to “Puff Daddy”……

  142. You carried her all the way from the bar!!?? Dude! Your back is gonna hurt tomorrow!!

    Tomorrow? I can hardly stand up now!

  143. When I was 2 my babysitter was a black German Shepherd named Bo.
    Mom would toss me in the back yard with the dog whenever she wanted me out of her hair. The dog wouldn’t let me leave the yard and nobody was allowed within 10 feet of me.

  144. “The dog wouldn’t let me leave the yard and nobody was allowed within 10 feet of me.”

    That’s pretty cool.

  145. The guy next door when I was 5 had a St Bernard. We were having a touch football game, I caught a pass, and had 150# of St Bernard standing on my chest

  146. Mare I don’t remember the house as we moved when I was 3, but apparently the back yard had 2 levels. There was a short wall and 3 steps to get to the 2nd level. Apparently I made it to the 2nd level once and fell off the wall and started crying. From that day on whenever I approached the wall the dog would get in front of me and knock me on my ass.

  147. Laura: (notices we’re just about out of beer, is driving so grabs a bottled water) Michael, would you like a water?

    Michael: Sure, thanks! (takes water, drinks)

    Michael: (shoots me a suspicious look)

    Laura: (drinks water, looks away)

  148. “The dog wouldn’t let me leave the yard and nobody was allowed within 10 feet of me.”

    We had a bulldog as a kid who loved us and hated everyone else. Unfortunately, the stupid dog would growl at other people, so my parents brought him to the pound, where he later got taken as a guard dog for the candy store across the street from my school.

    My brother and I saw him tied up behind the store and went into the yard to pet him, even though he barked at everyone else he saw. All our friends FREAKED!!! “YER GONNA DIE!!!!”

    Judge remembered us and was ecstatic that he was getting pet.

    The owner of the store was not happy.

  149. It’s too bad the cop came around after Michael was scoping out the bearings company RV. We could have sent Ossifer Paul out there to make Michael brown his undies.

    *note to self… next CT Meatup don’t miss all the fun with that cath-napping thing*

  150. Mrs. Rosetta: “Hey Scott, where’d you get the coldie holder?

    Scott: *disappears into the “white party van”, grabs packing tape and foam packing sheets*
    “TA-DA!”

    Mrs. Rosetta: “COOL!”

  151. Evenin’ all.

    What’s shakin’?

  152. Hahahaha

    Next day, PJ, Cameron Diaz, Scoobie, and I all hung out at the pool. It was like 150 degrees in there.

    Good cure for a hangover if you don’t count Peej jabbering in your ear nonstop.

  153. Ice and regs.

  154. If he was a lazy asshole, I’d call him Rosetta.

    *moves Mare from the “kill immediately list” to the……….dammit*

    *moves Mare higher up on the kill immediately list*

  155. Hotspur, were you in there when the Mrs. and I walked by on the way out? I just saw peej and Cameron. And Cameron.

  156. Rosetta!!!

    Sorry to hear El Goutcho has your ass pinned down.

    Can you still shotgun Jagermeister?

  157. How about General Tso?

    Winner!!

  158. Yeah, Andy, she’s definitely easy on the eyes.

  159. Ice and regs.

    You bat 1.000!!!

  160. Especially in a bikini. But so was Peej. SYWM

  161. Gimpster – Just double-up on the vodka. That should cure el goutcho in no time!

  162. Who’s cameron?

  163. Or just get a Hoveround.

  164. I presume you’ve all seen this post at the mofoship by now: http://minx.cc/?post=311699

    Giving back the Churchill bust, the Region 1 DVDs, the iPod full of teh won’s speeches, the First Klingon touching the queen … and now thisWin The Future?

  165. Mare- She’s a model, a mom, and a conservative Christian.

  166. Fire cures el Goutcho, just sayin…

  167. Marine wife, too, IIRC

  168. I thought the American Gothic re-enactment that Cameron and I did was pretty fucking good.

    And I don’t like calling her Cameron. Cameron Diaz is a butt-face piece of sandbox cat poop. PJM’s friend was actually good looking.

    Of course that’s just my opinion, also known as fact.

  169. Was she at the meet-up in CT from Ace’s?

  170. She was Peej’s cousin’s friend, IIRC.

    (There’s not much about that weekend I’m sure I RC, IYKWIMAITYD.)

  171. Hey if anyone finds Mrs Rosetta’s phone, please let me know.

    Thanks in advance nice person.

  172. After the restaurant, Wiser decided to catch a ride from us back to the Doubletree parking lot. He realized his error too late; there are only two seats in Banglar Party Van. So he had to sit in cargo on one of our coolers, separated from us by the perforated steel door behind the seats.

    We’re driving along, talking, his voice comes out from behind the door;

    Laura: (bangs on noisy steel door) QUIET BACK THERE OR YOU GET THE HOSE AGAIN

    …or something to that effect. Don’t remember precisely. Fun ride.

  173. Rosetta, lemme go check the bedroom. BRB

  174. Cameron Diaz looks like a clown.

    She wears red lipstick a lot:

    http://www.thebestpageintheuniverse.net/c.cgi?u=fashion

  175. I wear red lipstick a lot. Do you think I look like a clown, Focker?

  176. Lura, I lurves ya for that remark.

  177. Yes, yes I do.

  178. After the restaurant, PJM decided to catch a ride from us back to the Doubletree parking lot. We realized our error too late; there was no noise canceling technology in the SUV of DOOM. So we had to sit,trapped in our seats, separated from us by the humid, tobacco scented air.

    We’re driving along, talking, her voice comes out from behind the door;

    MCPO: OHMYGOD! MY EARS ARE BLEEDING!!

    …or something to that effect. Don’t remember precisely. Not-A-Fun ride.

  179. Sorry to hear El Goutcho has your ass pinned down.

    Meh. It’s just the worst pain ever. Fuck it.

    Can you still shotgun Jagermeister?

    The sites that I’ve read are silent on Jagermeister’s effect on el goutcho so I assume that is still good.

  180. Oh, was she the tall blond in the meet up pictures? She was really pretty.

  181. *** Warning ***

    This weekend we celebrate the 100th anniversary of the birth of Ronald Wilson Reagan, the greatest president in my lifetime.

    I feel several BiW-length poats coming on.

  182. Rosetta, lemme go check the bedroom. BRB

    Good call. She did think your wife was hot.

  183. Seriously Rosetta, I didn’t know you were officially diagnosed until today and I’m sorry you have this son of a bitching condition.

    My Dad had it and it was really painful but he handled it with pretty good humor which I think you will too.

    You’re too optimistic and happy to be a grumpy old man.

  184. I had the best carpool ever: Dave, Sohos, Cyn and Slublog.

    Speaking of which … where the hell is Cyn?

  185. “I feel several BiW-length poats coming on.”

    Go for it Andy. Really.

  186. Even Rosetta’s hilarious “Quiet Mouse” routine didn’t work! And since I was driving, I was stone-cold sober.

  187. >> Good call. She did think your wife was hot.

    Ooooooh! Now there’s a hell of an idea …

  188. Yeah, Cyn must be busy like a crazy person. Or they caught xbrad outside their window and it creeped them out.

  189. Too

  190. I emailed Cyn a few days ago and never heard back.

  191. You’re to optimistic and happy to be a grumpy old man.

    Mare, wrong again.

  192. Seriously Rosetta, I didn’t know you were officially diagnosed until today and I’m sorry your have the son of a bitching condition.

    My Dad had it and it was really painful but he handled it with pretty good humor which I think you will too.

    You’re to optimistic and happy to be a grumpy old man.

    I agree and not to worry. In the pantheon of things that I could be diagnosed with, el goutcho is a fly speck.

    I’ve never had it before and now that I know I’m susceptible to it, I can make some minor changes and keep it the fuck away from me.

    The nice thing about el goutcho is it gets your attention and it makes you not want to touch the things that increase your chances of a flare-up.

    *sends beer and bacon “Dear John” letters, cries*

  193. “Mare, wrong again.”

    Really?

    Is Rosetta that different from his online persona?

  194. “…not to worry”

    Good and good!

    Scott……boooyah!

  195. Poat away Andy!

  196. I would like to announce that I received perhaps the best gift ever for an el goutcho sufferer from scott and laura and wiserbud and wiserbride.

    There will be a post with pictures tomorrow about it.

    I will just say ate this point, when you see it, you will wish you had el goutcho.

  197. Is Rosetta that different from his online persona?

    I’m a negative, bitter douche in real life.

    DON’T JUDGE ME!!!!

  198. So is that guy on my TVEE carring around the giant green beaker Rosie?

  199. What do normal people do on a Friday night?

  200. “So is that guy on my TVEE carring around the giant green beaker Rosie?”

    Yes, I’ve seen that, he puts it in a man purse.

  201. El Goutcho?

    http://bit.ly/ijIb6N

  202. >> What do normal people do on a Friday night?

    That’s like asking a fish what it’s like to drive.

  203. “I will just say ate this point, when you see it, you will wish you had el goutcho.”

    At least Rosetta hasn’t had to give up drinking (or drugs, evidently).

  204. El Goutcho?

    http://tinyurl.com/4ts73xy

  205. What do normal people do on a Friday night?

    Go out to bars, get hammered, say stupid shit and puke on their best friend’s new Converse.

  206. “That’s like asking a fish what it’s like to drive.”

    Yes, I thought so.

  207. El Goutcho?

    http://tinyurl.com/38ou9z

  208. El Goutcho?

    http://bit.ly/f5WEmw

  209. What do normal people do on a Friday night?

    Does anyone know any normal people?

  210. El Goutcho?

    http://bit.ly/fLio6y

  211. El Goutcho?

    http://bit.ly/f5WEmw

    Looks like Mare has el goutcho.

  212. El Goutcho?

    http://tinyurl.com/4z87cl2

  213. Where is the green beaker Rosie?

  214. El Goutcho?

    http://bit.ly/fLio6y

    Why couldn’t I get that el goutcho???

    Stupid el goutcho.

    http://tinyurl.com/4jymtsy

  215. In the pantheon of things that I could be diagnosed with, el goutcho is a fly speck.

    That bout of Hoof and Mouth disease was a lot rougher.

  216. Where is the green beaker Rosie?

    Win The Future? What are you talking about, Vmaximus?

  217. xbrad/sean/other SoCal types, my understanding is that the Reagan museum has a ton of new content on display to mark the Centennial.

  218. El Goutcho?

    http://tinyurl.com/4z87cl2

    Hahahahahaha. I would have never come up with that one.

    + 1.03 points.

  219. El Goutcho?

    http://tinyurl.com/47ghrfz

  220. Rosetta, my pirate chick was wearing gouchos.

    I stayed away from the tween aisle …

  221. Rosetta, the green beaker represents Gout in a commercial for gout meds.

    A guy carries it around like a burden. After taking the meds, he puts it in a man purse to represent less of a burden, and if you read these damn comments you might have a clue.

  222. Or gauchos. However the fuck you spell it.

  223. How much do you think Obama is regretting the call to be interviewed by O’Reilly now that Egypt has hit the fan?

    I’m guessing a fucking lot. He hasn’t had one coherent answer in the last week and a half.

    UNCOMFORTABLE!!!

  224. Rosie,
    I see a commercial 20x a day about gout. Some moron running around with gigantic green beakers getting smaller and smaller. If you take bla bla bla

  225. wait….. you got a gift? From me???

    uh oh….

    blackouts….

  226. When I was a kid the neighbors had a cat named Glue Back.

    Best cat name I ever heard was Steve.

  227. Hey Wiser! Where you going??

    http://tinyurl.com/4beq4mn

  228. Best cat name I ever heard was Steve.

    DAMMIT!!!!!

  229. As if O’Reilly will serve up anything but softballs (SYWM!!!).

    Remember how he bitched and moaned about interviewing Hillary and then served her a bunch of powderpuff questions when he finally go the chance?

    *resets Bill O’Reilly is a douchebag circuit breaker*

  230. Hey Wiser! Where you going??

    WHEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE
    EEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE
    EEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE
    EEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE
    EEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE
    EEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE
    EEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE…..ugh.

  231. Rosetta, did you see this?

    It’s EXACTLY how I picture him handling the Presidency:

    http://newsflavor.com/politics/world-politics/white-house-insider-obama-is-clueless-totally-clueless/

  232. el goutcho

    http://tinyurl.com/4wdpndq

  233. Rosetta, the green beaker represents Gout in a commercial for gout meds.

    A guy carries it around like a burden. After taking the meds, he puts it in a man purse to represent less of a burden, and if you read these damn comments you might have a clue.

    I thought I read all the comments on this POS thread?

    WIN THE FUTURE!!!!http://tinyurl.com/49d8lop!!!

  234. Are you ready for some football?

  235. WIN THE FUTURE!!!!http://tinyurl.com/49d8lop!!!

    Win the Future! That’s pretty flipping funny gout boy.

  236. I’d pack her.

  237. There’s a dude with an accordian here.

  238. “Michael! Stop trying to break into that van!”

    Look, you all were staying at the Doubletree.

    My hotel was 1.3 miles away. Cathy was already crashed in the back seat of our rental car. I needed a place to sleep.

    DON’T YOU JUDGE ME!!!

  239. It’s EXACTLY how I picture him handling the Presidency:

    http://newsflavor.com/politics/world-politics/white-house-insider-obama-is-clueless-totally-clueless/

    I am POSITIVE that is exactly what it’s like. He has no fucking clue what to do.

    I waver from week to week on the chances that Obama will either resign before his first term is out just because he realizes he’s in the deep end and doesn’t know how to swim or he won’t run again in 2012.

    This week I give the former a 18% chance an the latter a 28% chance.

    In either case he won’t quit for the good of the country. He’ll quit because he needs to leave office with enough respectability to make the Hollywood BJ circuit.

  240. Serioiusly, a mariachi/goucho band just went by…

  241. Did anybody throw anybody else a surprise lemon party today?

  242. You gotta admit, Steve is a great name for a cat.

    Name your cat Steve, and you will be the envy of the neighborhood. I would do that myself, if I could stand a cat in the house.

  243. Serioiusly, a mariachi/goucho band just went by…

    Were they singing this crowd favorite?

    http://tinyurl.com/4zhrgca

  244. Serioiusly, a mariachi/goucho band just went by…

    FYI, they expect you to tip extra if you ask for La Bamba,   because they are sick to death of that song.

  245. My Spanish is a little rusty, but I think the guy said his foot hurt.

  246. Ahhhh, the secret of innerwebtube hits too

    http://tinyurl.com/4e6hamv

  247. Gouchos aren’t Messican.

  248. OK, I’mma go eat pudding and watch One Tree Hill and sleep. Try not to step on Rosetta’s swollen foot.

  249. My Spanish is a little rusty, but I think the guy said his foot hurt.

    He’s a poser looking for a bigger tip. Ignore it.

    Kinda like somebody we know who’s trying to gin up some sympathy from the Hotagettes.

    I think I’m gonna start complaining about lumbago or something. Crimefighting takes a toll on a man.

  250. Michael – We all know that the only occupational hazards for a lawyer are a sprained ass or TMJ.

  251. Not so, Chief. We can also suffer from a debilitating nervous disorder that results from trying to figure out how to optimize our frequent flier miles.

    It’s a bitch, I’m telling you. Sleep deprivation, cold sweats, incontinence, waking up in the middle of the night and not knowing where you are. Life can be hell for a transactional lawyer.

  252. Dinner tonight is homemade spanish rice with chunks of chicken breast, two cans of diced tomatoes, and olives.

    No goutchos were invited or harmed in the making of this meal.

  253. Speaking of sprained ass, on that chick that Brew posted, that would be a life-threatening injury.

  254. I threw a lemon at someone today and they were surprised, does that count?

  255. I remember being somewhere over the Pacific on the way to Asia, taking a pee, resting my forehead against the bulkhead . . .

    . . . and I kinda hit the wall. I felt the motion of the plane and the sound of the jets, and I thought to myself, I have been on this same fucking plane my entire fucking life. It really felt that way. I thought, this has got to stop. I have children back in America.

  256. jokethread jokethread jokethread jokethread jokethread jokethread jokethread jokethread jokethread jokethread jokethread jokethread jokethread jokethread jokethread jokethread jokethread jokethread jokethread jokethread jokethread jokethread jokethread jokethread jokethread jokethread jokethread jokethread jokethread jokethread jokethread jokethread jokethread jokethread jokethread jokethread jokethread jokethread jokethread jokethread jokethread jokethread jokethread jokethread jokethread jokethread jokethread jokethread jokethread jokethread jokethread jokethread jokethread jokethread jokethread jokethread jokethread jokethread jokethread jokethread jokethread jokethread jokethread jokethread jokethread jokethread jokethread jokethread jokethread jokethread jokethread jokethread jokethread jokethread jokethread jokethread jokethread jokethread jokethread jokethread jokethread jokethread jokethread jokethread jokethread jokethread jokethread jokethread jokethread jokethread jokethread jokethread jokethread jokethread jokethread jokethread jokethread jokethread jokethread jokethread jokethread jokethread jokethread jokethread jokethread jokethread jokethread jokethread jokethread jokethread jokethread jokethread jokethread jokethread jokethread jokethread jokethread jokethread jokethread jokethread jokethread jokethread jokethread jokethread ………….

    and so on….

  257. Michael,

    I had kinda the same thing happen to me last year. I had been on the road for over 2 weeks solid, including weekends. I got home from that trip and immediately got in the car and headed to my in-laws for the weekend.

    We left there early on Sunday because I had a 6am flight to Oregon on Monday.

    On the way home, this song came on the radio.

    http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=c4D40r-E7yk

    I broke. I literally broke.

  258. Hey, since it’s the 100th Birthday year of President Reagan, should I call him Gipper?

    Nick name, Gip.

  259. Did Cyn quit us?

  260. I think wiserbud banned Cyn because he’s a douche.

  261. It’s a bitch, I’m telling you. Sleep deprivation, cold sweats, incontinence, waking up in the middle of the night and not knowing where you are. Life can be hell for a transactional lawyer.

    That’s pretty rough.

    The rest of us have to deal with idiotic court rules that skirt an actual decision on the merits, assholes for opposing counsel, clients who don’t pay, and death threats.

    It would be nice to wake up in the middle of the night and wonder where I am. Instead I’m still awake because of all the shit on my desk.

  262. “I think wiserbud banned Cyn because he’s a douche.”

    hahahahahahahaa

  263. BiW, how much would you charge me to sue wiserbud for banning Cyn?

  264. ” transactional lawyer.”

    Could you explain or do I have to Google it?

  265. The Hostages: come for the boobs, stay for the existential dread.

  266. I think wiserbud banned Cyn because he’s a douche.

    You got a problem with that???

    Actually, I e-mailed Cyn a few days ago and haven’t heard back yet.

    Hopefully, she’s okay.

  267. Can I counter-sue Rosetta for being a whiny bitch?

  268. ” transactional lawyer.”

    It means that he just writes the legalese and only goes to court to visit, not to work.

  269. I have a joke thread idea.

    It’s not very good but since when does that matter?

    Should I stay or should I go?

  270. It’s not very good but since when does that matter?

    Well, forged rite may not like it, but what the hell…. go for it!

  271. ‘sup everybody?

  272. I’ve been crying like a baby watching The Green Mile

  273. Can I counter-sue Rosetta for being a whiny bitch?

    http://tinyurl.com/2pxwhr

  274. >> DAMMIT!!!!!

    If I were willing to put up with another cat (I ain’t), I would name it Steve.

    Then I would take it to the vet and get his balls cut off.

  275. Sohos, I ALWAYS cry at the movie. I love the supporting cast.

  276. Reagan poat 1, locked and loaded for 7am tomorrow.

  277. If I were an evil bastard, I would get another cat and name it Dave.

    Then I would ignore it until it threw itself into the nearest body of water, just to get attention.

    Then I would pour alcohol on it and light it on fire.

  278. “Well, forged rite may not like it, but what the hell…. go for it!”

    HAHAHAHAHAHAHA….His quotes about our Joke Threads are priceless. We should have joke thread with Forged as the basis.

    Like, I’m so angry and impotent I could rage like Forged.

  279. Sooooo, everyone hates the Gipper idea?

  280. The People’s Court theme was funkaaaaay.

    Did anybody else watch Divorce Court back then? That was some trashy shit.

  281. BiW, how much would you charge me to sue wiserbud for banning Cyn?

    ——————————————–

    Can I counter-sue Rosetta for being a whiny bitch?

    Look, fellas. First of all, it would likely be a conflict of interest for me to do it. Secondly, the way that the civil court system is working right now, you’ll both be old men before the case is heard. That’s why I recommend duels to my clients now. It’s cheaper, and it’s a hell of a lot faster.

    *tosses bowie knife between the manlesbian and wiser*

    Now go into that locked room, and no one comes out until one of you has a hangnail. Go!

  282. There is a new stupid post.

  283. Like, I’m so angry and impotent I could rage like Forged.

    When anyone says the word “impotent”, the first thing that comes to my mind is “forged rite.”

  284. Every tiime I see Rosetta’s gravatard, I think of the movie “Airport,” the original one.

    I love it when George Kennedy is chewing a cigar in the cockpit of the stuck plane, and then just tosses it over his shoulder, into the corner.

  285. […] H2 has Big Boob Friday. And some Rule 5 for the […]


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