Big Boob Friday™

Good afternoon, baboon face.  Welcome to Big Boob Friday.

And now, your moment of Floyd.

You can tell by the look on his face as he chews that little pumpkin that he is the smartest dog alive.  YOU’RE MY BOY, FLOYD!!

You know what we haven’t heard in a while?  Some fucking chap-hop.

Your model for today is making her second appearance in this esteemed forum.  Her first was in the early days of BBF so you probably don’t remember her since your memory is shit from the crippling syphilis.

She was born on May 28, 1985 in Severomoravsky Kraj Czech Republic.  She stands a leon-like 5 feet 5 inches and weighs a feathery 108 lbs.  Her locker combination is 36G-24-35.  Sweet G.  She wears a size 8 shoe if you’re a sicko.

She happens to be a little scrawny (Guns of Navarone excepted) for my taste but I know some of you weirdos get turned on by skeletal remains.  Please stop being an uncivil hate-mongering douche-bag for a second and welcome your model for today, Friday, January 14th, 2011, Ala “Gabrielle” Passtel!!  YAY!!

Seriously, someone get her a cheeseburger.

This is one of those dates in history when a bunch of bullshit happened.  On this day…

* in 1690, the clarinet was invented in Nüremberg, Germany.

* in 1898, the Reverend Charles L. Dodgson died at the age of 66.

* in 1919, grumpy eyebrow host Andy Rooney was born in Albany, New York.

* in 1941, Dorothy Dunaway was born in Bascom, Florida.

* in 1948, Carl Weathers and T-Bone Burnett were both born.  Coincidence?  Shut the fuck up.

* in 1954, Marilyn Monroe married Joe DiMaggio.

* in 1956, Little Richard released “Tutti Frutti“.

* in 1968, James Todd Smith was born in St. Albans, New York.

* in 1969, Dave Grohl was born.

* in 1972, “Sanford & Son” premiered on NBC.

* in 1980, the “Blues Brothers” premiered.

* in 1984, McDonald’s founder Ray Kroc died at the age of 82 after being stabbed 114 times in the face by Grimace.

* in 1985, Martina Navratilova won her 100th tennis tournament.

* in 1990, the “Simpsons” premiered on Fox and started its descent into suck.

* in 1998, the 100th episode of “Ellen” aired.

The End.

You have survived another week without accidentally chopping your head off and setting it on fire so go out and celebrate this weekend.  Happily I have zero plans so I will probably be around here to make fun of your giant fat head.

Cheers!

*

330 Comments

  1. First. ahahahahahahah!

  2. This post is Hall of Fame material.

  3. Way to steal first, compos, you COCK!!

  4. This poat has the recommended daily allowance of boobs!

  5. “Together we Thrive”

    HAHAHAHAHHA…Good one, assface!

  6. The bad news is, she’s in constant danger of tipping over and falling on her face.

    The good news is, she’d rebound right back upright!

  7. She wears a size 8 shoe if you’re a sicko.

    hahaha! Funnay.

    I like that last pic. She has a nice postir-, postere-, postear-, …. ass. But yeah, that second pic makes her look like she could choke on a grain of rice.

  8. That’s not Carl Weathers. But I don’t care.

  9. That’s Mickey Mantle, you douchcork.

  10. My favorite part:

    The Andy Rooney part.

  11. This poat reeks of asteroid flatulence.

  12. Floyd is cute and funny looking, much like his owner.

  13. My favorite part: the header.

  14. Comment by mare on January 14, 2011 3:51 pm
    That’s not Carl Weathers. But I don’t care.

    Comment by Hotspur on January 14, 2011 3:52 pm
    That’s Mickey Mantle, you douchcork.

    Are you sure?

    http://tinyurl.com/3bgeay

  15. My favorite part: the header.

    Hahahahahaha! I put the picture up but someone changed the caption.

    I like this one better.

  16. LMAO at the logo on her butt!!!!!!

  17. LMAO at the logo on her butt!!!!!!

    I thought that was a humper sticker.

  18. LMAO at the logo on her butt!!!!!!

    Hahahahaha. You could see part of her sexual giblets in that picture so I had to cover that up lest we get shut down for showing monkey lips.

  19. I’ll hump her sticker.

  20. I don’t know if that is Carl Weathers or Mickey Mantle, but I found Ted Williams:

    http://tinyurl.com/4rsmln3

  21. “Are you sure?

    http://tinyurl.com/3bgeay

    I don’t think you are being appropriately civil and I’m filing a complaint with Paul Krugman with a cc to Obama. You know, because Obama said, “We can do better.” And as my surrogate father I listen to what he says.

    So….STFU

  22. Floyd is cute and funny looking, much like his owner.

    Don’t talk about Mrs Rosetta like that.

  23. I don’t know if that is Carl Weathers or Mickey Mantle, but I found Ted Williams:

    http://tinyurl.com/4rsmln3

    Hahahahahahaha!

    Tell whoever wrote that for you “good job”.

  24. So far Priebus is ahead on the RNC vote. Steele dropped out and asked supporters to support RINO Obamacare lobbyist Maria Cino.

    FUCKTARD!!!

  25. “We strive to thrive”™

  26. but I found Ted Williams:

    hahahaha! Excellent.

    Now find my watch, Martha!

  27. So….STFU

    Why don’t you come over here and make me, chubs?

  28. Steele’s out. Finally.

    RAAAACIST!!!!

  29. That’s not a bumper sticker, it’s a target.

    (Oops. Is that inciting violence?)

  30. My favorite part

    today is Dave Grohl’s bday!!!!!!! WooHoo! I love him!

  31. Greatest NSFW picture ever: http://tinyurl.com/47xydsb

  32. HM, that is 83 shades of wrong.

  33. Greatest NSFW picture ever

    HAHAHAHAHAHA!!!

    Ick….

  34. Yep, Dave Grohll is awesome.

    Greatest NSFW picture ever

    Don’t want to go below that Mason-Dixon!

  35. Greatest NSFW picture ever:

    My dick is now an innie.

    Gah.

  36. “Why don’t you come over here and make me, chubs?”

    Okay, but I’d rather get a nice buzz on with a few glasses of wine, go to the Hostages and see who says the dumbest stuff the most often.

  37. Okay, but I’d rather get a nice buzz on with a few glasses of wine, go to the Hostages and see who says the dumbest stuff the most often.

    If, after 5 hands of poker, you don’t know who the sucker is, you’re the sucker.

  38. I think this is pretty wonderful:

    http://thechive.com/2011/01/14/2010-nasa-space-photos-that-you-seriously-dont-want-to-miss-26-photos/

  39. Yeah, I’ve always said, I make a lot of mistakes typing because I like to say dumb stuff fast.

  40. today is Dave Grohl’s bday!!!!!!! WooHoo! I love him!

    He’s awesome. I almost linked a video of him and Will Ferrell singing “Leather and Lace” but Will Ferrell fucked it up with his Will Ferrell schtick.

  41. H2 Poll:

    Between Charles Krauthammer and Rush Limbaugh, who makes more conservative sense to you?

  42. Yeah, I’ve always said, I make a lot of mistakes typing because I like to say dumb stuff fast.

    Mare, look at this ink blot and tell me what you see.

    http://tinyurl.com/d34wdz

  43. I think this is pretty wonderful:

    That’s a great site, isn’t it, mare? They always have the best pics. Izismile, too – in fact, I see a lot of stuff on there that later shows up on the Chive.

  44. Between Charles Krauthammer and Rush Limbaugh, who makes more conservative sense to you?

    On pure conservative bona fides they are probably very close but Rush wins because he shoves the left’s bullshit back in their face.

  45. Krauthammer is an awesome last name. So is Dicksmasher, though I don’t recall ever seeing that in print.

    Mare, try typing without moving your lips. That might help with your spelling.

  46. Good job on the tits, Rosetta. And she pulled the stupid fucking sign down, I bet we could see that she has a nice pooter.

    Thanks brother and yes.

  47. Krauthammer is too unpredictable, and of late, he’s espoused some positions that I’d like to punch him in the nads for.

  48. Mare, look at this ink blot and tell me what you see.

    The best possible outcome for this afternoon.

  49. Rush, everytime.

    Krauthammer is too unpredictable, and of late, he’s espoused some positions that I’d like to punch him in the nads for.

    IMHO, Hotspur and Dick are categorically right on. Hotspur gets bonus points for the “of late” observation. I’ll take Kraut’s help when he’s being sane, but he’s been a fucking Beltway mouthpiece lately, and, basically, he can fuck himself in his nerve-deadened ass with shards of glass for all I care.

  50. I’ve been going to Izismile after you linked it. But I think I always end up there after going to the Linkiest.

  51. How do you deal with a department head who has noifuckingdea what it is her employees do, or how they do it, who constantly wastes their time with assinine attempts to micromanage them, wasting untold additional hours of their time, who shuffles projects and their priorities to the point that completeing any task is an exercise in futility, who has constantaly disparaged said employees and told them all that she has no confidence in them or their abilities, and who comes in late and leaves early, while said employees remain at work long into the night trying to complete the tasks that she constantly interrupted them from, and haa basically created a hostile work environment to the degree that the entire department is ready to quit?

    Spontaneously declare that the entire department, including said controller and the CFO must have a team building exercise at a bowling alley 39 miles away right now…drop everything and go!

    Said manager’s response, tell two of the employees that they cannot go because they have to stay and complete tasks that they can never complete because of said manager. BRILLIANT!!!

  52. Mare, look at this ink blot and tell me what you see.
    The best possible outcome for this afternoon.

    Drinking til you puke! Yeah!

  53. El Rushbo, hands down.

    *Straightens framed Limbaugh Institute for Advanced Conservative Studies diploma*

  54. Rush is the conservative Icon in my book. Krauthammer writes some nice pieces, but strays off the reservation every now and then.

  55. I could write a book entitled Stupid Managment Tricks: Why The Dumbing Down of America Has FUBARed Corporate Culture

  56. Kraut is like a lot of “serious” conservatives, and feels that if he doesn’t take a shot at the Palinistas and Tea Party once in a while, no one will listen to him.

  57. Comment by Blackiswhite, Imperial Consigliere on January 14, 2011 4:29 pm

    OMG!! BiW, I LOVE that sitcom….you are talking about “The I.T. Crowd”, right?

  58. Between Charles Krauthammer and Rush Limbaugh, who makes more conservative sense to you?

    Mark Levin. Duh.

  59. Dave Grohl is an asshole:

    http://tinyurl.com/6ket7e6

  60. OMG!! BiW, I LOVE that sitcom….you are talking about “The I.T. Crowd”, right?

    Sadly, no. This actually occurred in real life.

  61. I mean, he is really an ignorant asshole.

    http://tinyurl.com/6yqngss

  62. I like Krauthammer because he occasionally brings some highbrow thunder to the libs which they ignore because they can’t demonize him as a moronic rube.

    But Rush is more of a fighter which will be his legacy. Plus his mockery of the left is unparalleled.

    When you think about it, no one has ever existed like Rush. Not even close.

    Commies and stinking hippie motherfuckers hardest hit.

  63. I can neither confirm or deny that, Dick.

  64. Honestly, he’s a fucking tard

    On George W. Bush’s 8-year reign: “I can’t think of one president that’s been more detrimental to this country than George Bush. He’s not only set us back 50 years, I think he set us back 10,000 years. Morally this country has become prehistoric. I want us to be morally futuristic. I want to be so forward focused that we redefine American morals: family, music, barbecues.”

    http://tinyurl.com/6yzszaf

  65. Also fromthe previous link:

    On the war in Iraq: “I’m going to make war illegal. I’m going to make war against the law. No war. None. Anywhere.”

  66. *Straightens framed Limbaugh Institute for Advanced Conservative Studies diploma*

    I also own one of those. I’ve been listening to him since 1988-1989.

    Rush is not willing to operate under a false premise. He (and I think Bill Whittle) will say, “I reject your premise.” That is really important when you’re dealing with the left. They set up a false premise then they expect you to defend it. Why bother? Get to the truth first and push that nonstop. Do not operate out of a false premise.

  67. But I can say than when it was described to me on the phone less than 10 minutes ago, I had to counsel the person (who was told by the owner of the company that YES, EVERYONE was going on this exercise) to not use a bowling ball to bludgeon the bitchy, stupid, spiteful, clueless manager to death, because I don’t handle justifiable homicide cases, and because her sons miss her too much already.

  68. Dave Grohl is an asshole:

    I didn’t want to click because I didn’t want to be disappointed, alas, it’s like the proverbial red button.

    Dick. Dick is actually the proverbial red button and it’s fun to push him.

    *DOINK

  69. BiW, you go over her head en masse to her boss. Simple as that.

  70. Richard, you know you can’t take politics into account when it comes to music or movies.

    99% of those people are liberal dumbfucks.

  71. >> I’ve been listening to him since 1988-1989.

    We are SIMPATICO!

  72. I think today is the anniversary of my last hangover. To the best of my recollection, it’s today, anyway. Rosie, you asked why I quit drinking the other day. It was time. There are a couple of contributing reasons, but this was the straw that broke the camel’s back:

    I was living with my grandmother while I finished law school, and I was a smoker who wouldn’t smoke in the house. In the winter (like now) I’d frequently go to the bar up the street to smoke. While I was there, I’d incidentally quaff a beverage or two to facilitate the consumption of my combustibles. My whole purpose of being there was to smoke, though.

    Anyway, I was never a fan of gin. The shit’s wretched to me. So, on nights when I didn’t want to drink much but still wanted a beverage, I’d opt for Sapphire & soda. I did that night. I don’t know where shit went wrong, but I. Got. Blotto. Fucking blind buttwasted. I don’t know how I got home. All I know is that I awakened to my grandmother’s halitosis raining down on my face as she leaned over me, screaming, “WHAT THE HELL HAPPENED IN THE LIVING ROOM?”

    I didn’t fucking know.

    I threw on some trousers and went to check out what she was screaming about, and the living room was fucking destroyed. It looked like I’d had a bar fight in there with five other guys: Pictures were all askew, furniture was upended, cushions were strewn all over, lamps and tables overtuned…. I didn’t know what the fuck went on, but I’m pretty sure Granny had nothing to do with it.

    As I nursed my world-class hangover, I vowed it’d never happen again. And it hasn’t.

  73. BiW, you go over her head en masse to her boss. Simple as that.

    Actually, its not. She has been that way with her boss, too. However, one of the people in the department has been with the company since it started in a garage, and therefore has the ear of the owner, who was back in town today, hence all hell breaking loose and the spontaneous declaration of a team building exercise day.

  74. Get me a drink, honey.

    Hahahahahaha.

  75. Richard, you know you can’t take politics into account when it comes to music or movies.

    Yeah, but Grohl really disappoints me with this shit. I saw him on Dennis Miller a long time ago and he struck me as someone who was a lot more thoughtful and intelligent.

    These types of idiotic remarks totally destroy any respect I had for him from that interview.

  76. “Honestly, he’s a fucking tard”

    Wiser, yes, yes he is. Embarrassingly so. So what if I liked that one video of his where he’s in an airplane taking on a couple of different parts.

    After reading that interview, I would be dumbing down listening to that moron.

  77. “We are SIMPATICO!”

    HA! Gets me every time.

  78. “We are SIMPATICO!”

    What the fuck ever, Taco. Get me some more salsa and chips, and undalay, willya? I gotta get back to the office by 2:30.

  79. Dave Grohl is an asshole:

    And he does covers.

  80. And as you all know, me giving up rock music is like a kitten giving up smoking, it will be awkward for awhile but eventually everyone will continue to notice how cute I am.

    (Or something like that.)

  81. Get me a drink, honey.

    Wha? It’s not supposed to happen that way!!

  82. If any of you find out BACH was a leftist douchebag, please, please, don’t tell me.

  83. Richard, you know you can’t take politics into account when it comes to music or movies.

    Bullshit. I do it all the time. I don’t consume their shit, and on the rare opportunity I do, I don’t pay those fuckers for it. I don’t steal it, but I don’t consume it in situations where my money is required, like a borrowed dvd or something like that.

  84. If any of you find out BACH was a leftist douchebag, please, please, don’t tell me.

    I don’t know, but that “I Remember You” song got on my fucking nerves.

  85. Taxed2death just called me a virus

  86. And as you all know, me giving up rock music is like a kitten giving up smoking, it will be awkward for awhile but eventually everyone will continue to notice how cute I am.

    somehow I’m stealing that

  87. As I nursed my world-class hangover, I vowed it’d never happen again. And it hasn’t.

    Wow Jazz. That’s a heavy story. Had you been a bad drunk before that incident?

    I’m a happy stupid drunk but if I had your experience, that would scare the shit out of me.

    And kudos to you for recognizing that alcohol isn’t your friend and walking away from it.

    That says a lot of good about you.

  88. Who’s got the goat story for Peej? Time to break it out.

  89. hahahaha, I saw that a little bit ago jazz. Me and the fam used to live right outside of Hemet when Garren was born.

  90. PJ, what’s up with the name change at Facecockchimpdouche?

  91. I still love his music. Ya know I decided that I hate U2 b/c of what Bono said to Obama at a dinner for Bush…but with Dave, I just can’t not listen to him besides Prince he is the favorite douche or not…I know that is hypocritical of me. I mean I really HATE Susan Sarandon.

  92. Bullshit. I do it all the time. I don’t consume their shit, and on the rare opportunity I do, I don’t pay those fuckers for it. I don’t steal it, but I don’t consume it in situations where my money is required, like a borrowed dvd or something like that.

    I like movies and music too much for that.

    They can have my money and buy drugs and dirty whores all they want. Entertainment is about me, not them and if I like what they do then so be it.

    Also, Bach was a socialist.

  93. I hate the fucking internet! Why can I not find an understandable answer to a simple fucking question?!

    Assbite, mothermunching,johnsonbreathed,douchequaffing interwebs!!!

  94. PJ, what’s up with the name change at Facecockchimpdouche?

    I’m working on getting myself grants for school and jobs and schtuff and didn’t feel like having anyone be able to search for my name that easily.

    I mean, if they really want to, they’ll find it, but I dreamt that was my name last night, so I’m using it.

  95. Wow Jazz. That’s a heavy story. Had you been a bad drunk before that incident?

    Well, depends. My friends never thought I was much of a drunk (so they say). They were pretty much astounded when I quit drinking; they didn’t get it. BUT, I had a hollow leg, and I made a lot of bad decisions about (a) driving and (b) women when I was drunk. Let me be very clear: Alcohol does not positively enhance my attractiveness factor (although I’m told I tell a hell of a lot of funny stories when I’m buzzed). My weak lines got weaker and my driving got . . . well, I’m not a better driver while I’m drinking. I wasn’t drunk all the time, but a night at the dive bars was a minimum $75 affair, which is a lot at $1.25/beer joints. So, it just seemed prudent to marginalize my alcoholic intake.

  96. What’s your question, MCPO?

    I know the answer.

    Unless your question is “How to suck cock?” in which case you need to ask xbrad.

  97. I hate the fucking internet! Why can I not find an understandable answer to a simple fucking question?!

    Was your question in the form of a youtube post?

  98. I like Grohl’s music, but that doesn’t mean he’s not a tard.

    Now Springsteen is someone I have a real hard time listening to anymore, because he is evil and stupid. Grohl is just stupid.

    All of his “common man” bullshit is just that… bullshit.

  99. It’s Friday….check
    Big boobs at H2….check
    Turning my monitor at work slightly to the side so that passerbyes are not tempted to peep….check
    Wasting an entire day on the interwebs googling for more….check.

    What’s up?

  100. YAY!! It’s Rich!1

    I felt bad because your last comment here didn’t get enough attention.

    I am here to make SURE that wiserbud gives you the “full” treatment IYKWIMAITYD

  101. I was merely posting on behalf of a more civil society. Together we Thrifty

  102. Okay. I’m going shopping. I’ll see y’all later!

  103. My friends never thought I was much of a drunk (so they say).

    Good for you that you quit the sauce, but gin is basically poison. Too much of that stuff will make anyone insane.

  104. Yes, Jazz, ditto what Rosetta said, it’s good to know when booze isn’t your friend. Lot’s of people never get that, you did something about it.

    I’m a happy drunk too. My sister is one of those that after even one or two drinks is the worst person ever to be around. Always drama, no fun, repetitive. Nasty, foulmouthed. Always looking for a fight to spill her anger on everyone. She needs to stop drinking completely.

  105. And kudos to you for recognizing that alcohol isn’t your friend and walking away from it.
    That says a lot of good about you.

    I appreciate your kind words. Thank you.

  106. Now Springsteen is someone I have a real hard time listening to anymore, because he is evil and stupid. Grohl is just stupid.

    I have a hard time listening to Springsteen because he’s a talentless jackoff.

    See also, Young, Neil.

  107. Quick drive-by between bathroom cleanings:

    PJM!!! I’m late sending your gift, but it takes time to assemble a 12 Days of Christmas in February gift. I will have sent it by Monday for sure :D

    Good news! Hubby is coming home on leave since they haven’t sent his passport yet!! WHOO HOO!!

    Bad news: kids will be here. They hear everything.

    Oh, and never mix toilet bowl cleaner with crappy perfume. Oy…

  108. I got this email last night:

    Good Evening,

    I wanted to touch base with you about an incident that took place today. Garren (and other children) were having sand wars today at recess and were caught by another teacher. He was throwing sand at others’ faces. As a consequence he spent his lunch recess in the office and was told I would be sending you this e-mail so you could discuss it with him at home as well.

    Now his version of it is, these boys threw sand at him and said, “get out of here, you can’t be in our tribe”
    So, Garren rallied the troops and got his friends to throw sand at the other boys and it started a full scale war.

    Garren is the weak child, the follower, in my family, the one who gets taken advantage of by everyone, it was very difficult for me not to give him a high five.

  109. Is it drinking time yet?

  110. True confessions time: I have never seen the movie “The Blues Brothers”.

    *I denounce myself and shall now go stand in the corner*

  111. Hahahahahahaha.

    Chris Matthews wants the GOP to rename the Obamacare repeal bill.

    He doesn’t like the phrase “Job-killing”. HA!!!

    Fucking idiot.

  112. “I felt bad because your last comment here didn’t get enough attention.”

    That’s ok, it was a drive-by anyway.

    “I am here to make SURE that wiserbud gives you the “full” treatment ”

    Glad to see he’s found full employment after all this time. Do I need to take a number?

  113. but I dreamt that was my name last night, so I’m using it.

    I dreamt that you and I had passionate sex on the deck of my sailboat. Now what do we do?

  114. I have a hard time listening to Springsteen because he’s a talentless jackoff.

    Jungleland is an absolutely brilliant song. I can actually listen to that without getting too worked up because it’s that good.

    But that’s about it.

  115. PJM!!! I’m late sending your gift, but it takes time to assemble a 12 Days of Christmas in February gift. I will have sent it by Monday for sure

    I just thought we were celebrating on the old school calendar.

  116. PJM, file that email under PC BS, then tell Garren, “good job rallying the troops, you may be a very good leader someday. Also, sweetie, don’t get caught next time.”

  117. I have a Samsung 500 series plasma TV. I have a 3D Blu-ray player. I have an HDMI connection between my blu-ray and TV.

    Will active-shutter 3D technology work on this combo?

    Easy, right? W-R-O-N-G!

  118. Good news! Hubby is coming home on leave since they haven’t sent his passport yet!! WHOO HOO!!

    YAY!!

  119. *high fives Garren*

    *opens the local Garren fan club*

  120. Since when do military personnel need a stinkin’ passport?

    Standard passport isn’t good enough for Egypt, Dick. Egypt has to approve a visa to work in the MFO in Sinai.

    And by “Egypt” I mean “cameldick cocksuckers”.

  121. Also, sweetie, don’t get caught next time.”

    hahahahaha

  122. “Will active-shutter 3D technology work on this combo? Easy, right?”

    Sure is. My answer is ……6.

    Next.

  123. True confessions time: I have never seen the movie “The Blues Brothers”.

    No I didn’t. Honest… I ran out of gas! I–I had a flat tire! I didn’t have enough money for cab fare! My tux didn’t come back from the cleaners! An old friend came in from out of town! Someone stole my car! There was an earthquake! A terrible flood! Locusts! IT WASN’T MY FAULT, I SWEAR TO GOD!!!

  124. I just thought we were celebrating on the old school calendar.

    1978?

  125. Heh – you guys, I would love to say that my tee-totaling is a result of sound mental health, but – truly – it was the easiest, most chickenshit way of solving a problem. I honestly didn’t want to do the self-evaluative work that would have been required for me to figure out if I had a problem and the contributory factors to my consumption. I side-stepped that and just said, “Rather than figuring out whether I’ve got a problem with alcohol, why don’t I just not consume it?” I didn’t have to dwell on feelings with my solution!

    As to recognizing problem behavior, I live in a familial swamp of disfunction. My dad’s an alcoholic. His two brothers are alcoholics. My mom’s father was an alchoholic. Five of my mom’s siblings are/were alcoholics (three have died from alcohol-related complications and bad decisions resulting from over-consumption). My brother is friend of Bill’s. Two sisters are in eating disorder clinics. It’s not like I didn’t have models to evaluate before I got to me. :)

  126. “Sure is. My answer is ……6.”

    hahahahahahahahahaha

    I love this place because you can ask for help on ANYTHING and someone knows something. On the other hand, you are likely to get a smart ass response.

  127. I just thought we were celebrating on the old school calendar.

    1978?

    hahaha, I mean orthodox

    *wonders if wiserbud and rich are off making each other happy?

  128. On the other hand, you are likely to get a smart ass response.

    At least he didn’t say 42. THAT would have been a smart ass answer.

  129. Now I’m leaving. Again. Have a good night, guys and gals.

  130. When all is said and done, Jazz, regardless of the reason, you did the right thing and probably saved your life and I would guess a few relationships.

    It was the right thing to do and I FIRMLY believe that thinking about our “feelings” too much ruins people.

  131. Mare – You’re not helping
    .
    .
    .
    .
    .
    .
    .
    .
    woman

  132. True confessions time: I have never seen the movie “The Blues Brothers”.

    *I denounce myself and shall now go stand in the corner*

    Listen to me young lady, you march your ass to Netflix or Blockbuster right now and rent that movie and watch it or I will tan your hide.

  133. *wonders if wiserbud and rich are off making each other happy?

    Nope, Chief and Jazzhands are ahead of me in line.

  134. I hate Illinois Nazis.

  135. I have a hard time listening to Springsteen because he’s a talentless jackoff.

    See also, Young, Neil.

    Ditto

  136. “I hate Illinois Nazis.”

    As opposed to other Nazis?

  137. I have a Samsung 500 series plasma TV. I have a 3D Blu-ray player. I have an HDMI connection between my blu-ray and TV.

    Will active-shutter 3D technology work on this combo?

    Easy, right? W-R-O-N-G!

    Is the plasma 3D enabled?

  138. “The Resa” if it makes you feel better, I haven’t seen the movie either.

  139. Rich, happy new year, ass penny.

  140. “Is the plasma 3D enabled?”

    See, I think that’s nice, instead of saying retarded or handicapped we now say “enabled.”

  141. Did you jiggle the handle Chief? Try jiggling the handle.

  142. Will active-shutter 3D technology work on this combo?

    No. You need a 3D capable TV

  143. Mare, let’s Indian leg rassle.

  144. Here’s some good news for our hostage men……..no more messy underwear!!!

    http://www.signonsandiego.com/news/2011/jan/14/japan-issued-patent-sd-companys-experimental-prema/

  145. It’s 106 miles to Chicago, we got a full tank of gas, half a pack of cigarettes, it’s dark, and we’re wearing sunglasses.

    Hit it.

  146. “Mare, let’s Indian leg rassle.”

    Okay, but would you cover that open sore first?

  147. Did you jiggle the handle Chief? Try jiggling the handle.

    Hahahahaha.

  148. Is it plugged in, Chief? Check to make sure it’s plugged in…..

    *ducks and runs for cover*

  149. Rosetta – That is the question. Does the TV accept a 120hz signal from the blu-ray player or only 60hz?

    I know I’m old. I know I’m slow. But, this shouldn’t be this hard to find out, FERCHRISSAKES!

  150. Okay, but would you cover that open sore first?

    No.

  151. Switch the cable ends. That always works.

  152. Now see, Andy, I actually know some of the classic LINES from BB; I just haven’t seen the whole thing all the way through.

    I had a misspent youth.

    And by misspent, I mean sheltered……

  153. Later. I’ve got to go bang my head against a cinderblock wall for 2 hours to make myself feel better.

  154. “I’ve got to go bang my head against a cinderblock wall for 2 hours to make myself feel better.”

    I usually just use my hand and some lotion, but whatever works for ya big guy.

  155. Rosetta – That is the question. Does the TV accept a 120hz signal from the blu-ray player or only 60hz?

    I know I’m old. I know I’m slow. But, this shouldn’t be this hard to find out, FERCHRISSAKES!

    No no. You’re axing the wrong question. 120hz vs. 60hz doesn’t matter here. Your TV has to be a 3D TV.

    Or are you saying that the Blu-ray isn’t working at all on your plasma?

  156. Just call the fucking store where they sell the tv.

  157. hotspur, I wanna talk about your boat

    but I have to leave

    dayum the bad luck

  158. Did you see what my stupid fucking senator said?

    Sen. John Kerry (D-Mass.) said in a speech at the left-leaning policy think tank Center for American Progress that working in a bipartisan manner on infrastructure and clean energy could help overcome the “divisive political rhetoric” in the wake of the Tucson tragedy.

    What a shameless sucker of cock.

  159. My favorite scene in “Blues Brothers” is when they visit the nun and Jake tells her she’s up shit’s creek.

    That’s a fucking funny 30 seconds when she beats the shit out of them.

    Hahahahaha.

    It’s even funnier in 3D.

  160. That’s a fucking funny 30 seconds when she beats the shit out of them.

    Hahahahaha.

    http://bit.ly/easYtl

  161. Goodness, Andy, I was three seconds away from linking that Kerry deal here.

    (we are simpatico)

  162. Sen. John Kerry (D-Mass.) said in a speech at the left-leaning policy think tank Center for American Progress that working in a bipartisan manner on infrastructure and clean energy could help overcome the “divisive political rhetoric” in the wake of the Tucson tragedy.

    And the battered wife working with the abusive husband on where to hit and where not to hit would overcome the divisive family beating differences.

    Kerry is a fucking idiot.

  163. Sometimes it pays to do your research pre-purchase. Just an observation.

    *hides easily behind Rosetta*

  164. Fuck them. Go in the way we normally do. Invade.

    HAHAHAHAHAHA!!!

    I nominate Dick for the “H2 Douche of the Week” award.

    Well done.

  165. Reince Priebus was just elected the next chairman of the RNC

    Is it too early to drink?

  166. Goodness, Andy, I was three seconds away from linking that Kerry deal here.

    Ha! I finished before you again.
    .
    .
    .
    .
    Oh, wait, that didn’t come out quite right.

  167. *hides easily behind Rosetta*

    HAHAHAHAHAA

  168. *hides easily behind Rosetta*

    Just because you’re old doesn’t mean I won’t kill you.

  169. “Reince Priebus”

    Is he a douche? I’ve never heard of him. Don’t know a thing about him.

  170. ugh seriously today has been so slow and I am ready to drink

  171. (we are simpatico)

    Ummm, HEELLLOOOOO??? Why can’t you juander over here and refill my fucking chips and salsa before I do a magic trick and my your fucking tip disappear?

  172. He’s the former Wisconsin GOP head, mare.

  173. hmmmmmmm chips and salsa

  174. Oh, wait, that didn’t come out quite right.

    Actually, I think it means it didn’t go IN quite right.

  175. I ain’t drunk,
    I’m just drinkin’.

  176. Hey, pjm, pattyann or rosetta or someone … I’m still missing some commands when I sigh into our page. Would one of you go in and check to see if someone accidentally set up some privacy settings incorrectly when they were trying to post for the first time recently? I still have no access to header pics/captions, page caption, etc. Thanks.

  177. I dont really wanna get drunk just drink some cold beer and RELAX

  178. Oh, wait, that didn’t come out quite right.

    And you said you’d pull out.

    LIAR.

  179. Is it plugged in, clint? You should plug it in.

  180. BiW, what are you drinking? May I buy you another?

  181. BisW, how many have you had to drink??

  182. gracias Dick!

  183. 120hz vs. 60hz doesn’t matter here. Your TV has to be a 3D TV.

    Exactly. If he uses an HDMI connection, the Blu-Ray player will be smart enough to sense the capabilities oft he TV and reduce the refresh rate if needed.

    But if it’s not a 3-D TV, he ain’t getting 3D.

    Although, I am laughing at the mental picture of MCPO sitting there in his 3D glasses and swearing at the TV while randomly pushing buttons…..

  184. Clint, try it again.

  185. Whoo!
    The rescue called and asked me to transport a dog. Turns out it is Garnet, so I am getting a “preview weekend” of her. She is a sweetie! Of course she gets along with Zeke and Bear very well.

  186. Of course she gets along with Zeke and Bear very well.

    I sure hope so, for your other thumb’s sake.

  187. Never come to H2 with technical questions unless you want to be mocked coast to coast.

  188. Sorry to disappoint, ladies, but the only things I’ve had to drink today are coffee (2 cups) and Dihydrogen Oxide (3 quarts).

    My new medication may cause a sudden and catastrophic drop in blood sugar if mixed with alcohol, and I’ve never been a fan of comas, so I’ve been keeping it simple.

    Although, I did run out of this med two days ago and I only finally got the new health insurance info today so I can get more, so it is possible that a higher than normal blood sugar level (for me…for you pikers, it would probably be toxic) is impairing my cognitive function at the moment.

  189. Drive time!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! finally!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

  190. Never come to H2 with technical questions unless you want to be mocked coast to coast.

    That’s generally a good rule of thumb (see what I did there?)

  191. In other words BiW is a pussy.

  192. Do you need to go to the bathroom every 15 minutes, BiW?

  193. Dihydrogen Oxide (3 quarts).

    Holy crap!! Haven’t they outlawed that stuff yet???

    http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=kXiceL8NpGc

  194. Never come to H2 with technical questions unless you want to be mocked coast to coast.

    My TVs are TVs. No flat screen, no plasma, no HD, no 3D. I have a hard enough time switching between the DVD palyer and the Wii on the one in the Living Room without complicating it further.

  195. BisW, if this is how adorable you get when you drink coffee and water, I’ll keep Ozarka in stock for the next Meat-Up. :D

  196. Seriously, that stuff is deadly!

    http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=MawlljmaS1w

  197. BiW if you can’t have booze you’ll just have to switch to crack.

  198. In other words BiW is a pussy.

    Lets’s see how YOU deal with even simple tasks when your mg/dL is at 209, and decide who is a pussy and who ain’t, Horatio.

  199. BiW if you can’t have booze you’ll just have to switch to crack.

    Only if its been well-washed recently and I love her…..or at least I like her a whole lot.

  200. Hey…why does this post not show up when you click on H2?

    It’s not only NOT 3D, it’s not even 1D.

    MCPOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!!

  201. BisW, if this is how adorable you get when you drink coffee and water, I’ll keep Ozarka in stock for the next Meat-Up.

    Actually, I like Smart Water, and I don’t care what my wife says. I think it actually works.

  202. BiW, what exactly is it that you think Smart Water does, other than be koolaid plus a flintstone vitamin?

  203. This is a 3D comment.

  204. This comment is in 4D

  205. Hey, what’s going on? I had to login and go to Big Boob Friday on the Post list.

    I don’t even know what I’m saying.

  206. mare, Rosetta and Wiser are messing with the poat.

    BisW, what is SmartWater?

  207. I think I fixt it. That was weird.

  208. BiW, what exactly is it that you think Smart Water does, other than be koolaid plus a flintstone vitamin?

    I give you ripe, low-hanging fruit, and you get all serious on me.

  209. That’s generally a good rule of thumb (see what I did there?)
    Yup Wiser continues to kill.

  210. I wasn’t messing with the post.

    *kills wiserbud*

  211. I give you ripe, low-hanging fruit, and you get all serious on me.

    We were leaving that for Xbrad. He was recently complaining about the lack of funneh around here, so we figured he could show us how it’s done.

  212. Sitting nervously in the waiting room for my “decider” to meet me and let me know if I qualify for a grant.

    Wishing a man was my decider……I would do better

    I am so nervous, I wanna puke

  213. Oh, I know it’s not making you smarter, you aren’t liberal yet.

  214. Home from work, pants off, “Asian Teen Beach Party” open in the other tab.

    Life is good.

  215. I wasn’t messing with the post.

    It weren’t me! I learned a long time ago not to mess with Rosetta’s posts.

  216. PJM, are going to do urine-based anti-christian art? I hear that gets $$.

  217. I am so nervous, I wanna puke

    That probably would work against you, I’m guessing….

  218. I don’t want xbrad to show me how ANYTHING is done.

  219. In college I saw a German porno where a giraffe took a dump on a Tapir.

    It was awesome.

  220. 2 giraffes, 1 tapir

  221. Edward Giraffehands

  222. Here is what I learned today: Never ask a question to a crowd whose grasp of current technology is analogous to Krugman’s grasp on the truth.

  223. It’s a grant that will get me my A+ and Network + certs and I guys can hate me all you want for trying to take advantage of California’s system

  224. 2 giraffes, 1 tapir

    I voted for “Platypussy” that year. I’m a sucker for a good venom spur scene.

  225. A grant? What the hell is that?

    It’s just like a Cleveland steamer, except with more crying.

  226. Never ask a question to a crowd whose grasp of current technology is analogous to Krugman’s grasp on the truth.

    Hey, Rosie and I tried to help you. You don’t want to listen to us, the you only have yourself to blame.

  227. I think piss art wouldbe easier

  228. A grant? What the hell is that?

    It’s just like a Cleveland steamer, except with less curtain fouling.

  229. Pjm, did you see my funny this morning?
    https://thehostages.wordpress.com/2011/01/14/billy-dee-williams-watch-out/#comment-468402

  230. I think piss art wouldbe easier

    You FOOLS! You bloody FOOLS!

    What the hell were you THINKING, putting this idea into PJM’s head?

    And just when we got over the Gluten infestation……

  231. Dick – Thanks. Is he working tomorrow?

  232. “That
    probably would work against you, I’m guessing….”

    Unless I wind up getting that strange little cross dresser that just walked by

  233. Rosetta, that wasn’t porno. That was your animal studies class. I bet you got an A.

  234. I think piss art wouldbe easier

    I’m thinking of exhibiting my newest film, “Me leaving filtered scotch on a Koran while eating bacon”. I’d use my nom d’exhibition, “Rosetta”. Thoughts?

  235. HAHAHA! It was great vmax! I used to live there too

  236. The new chairman of the RNC is named “Reince Preibus”?

    Wasn’t he one of the centurions at the Crucifixion?

  237. Wiser, are you trying to reverse psychology me with piss art?

  238. Is Dick threatening me?

  239. Rosetta, that wasn’t porno. That was your animal studies class. I bet you got an A.

    Hotspur vs. Argentine Lake Duck: The Swallowing

  240. Is Dick threatening me?

    You find Dick threatening?

    http://tinyurl.com/23galsc

  241. Just for Rosetta: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=3goJ6YUjE70

  242. What the fuck are we talking about? Bread?

    Edward Nortonhands

  243. Is Dick threatening me?

    Don’t worry, mare. I’ve got your back.

    Thanks Dick

  244. Thanks BisW. I learned something new today.

  245. Dick’s Idea of threatening is giving you an earful after he’s slit your throat and you’re dropping to the ground as the world is fading to black for the last time.

  246. Just for Rosetta: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=3goJ6YUjE70

    Fuck that terrible shit.

  247. Fuck that terrible shit.

    HAHAHAHAHAHAHA!

    I just knew you would love it!

  248. MCPO, seriously, is your TV 3D ready or no?

  249. Marion Jones is hawt.

  250. PJM, rather late to the party again, but give your Garren boy a wink from Aunt Cathy for me will ya. Been there. I get it.

  251. 3D ready in the sense it was sold as a “3D TV”? No. But, the limiting factor is the ability to accept and display a 120hz signal.

  252. I just knew you would love it!

    When you get your 3D working, I’m going to punch you in the pussy.

  253. Hotter than a fresh fucked fox in a forest fire.

  254. Rosetta – That ain’t funny. Our cat ran away.

  255. 3D ready in the sense it was sold as a “3D TV”? No. But, the limiting factor is the ability to accept and display a 120hz signal.

    So you’re not going to get 3D. Are you even getting 2D or are the Blu-ray and the TV not being civil and communicating at all?

  256. I should have said 120hz refresh rate.

  257. When you get your 3D working, I’m going to punch you in the pussy.

    Leave his cat out of it, Captain Caiphunia.

    *calls PETA, gives them Rosettabobettahmobettah’s address.*

  258. Blu-ray player is working wonderfully. Both the Blu-ray and upconverted DVDs look great.

  259. You are all commenting too quickly.

  260. Scott – Can you see out of your house windows yet?

  261. We’re gonna watch Predator, and then Predators. Later cool kids.

    The butler did it.

    In the Cloak Room.

    With the upstairs maid.

  262. And we made $100 too much to receive the grant.

    Stupid PJD McMoneyBags

  263. You are all commenting too quickly.

    Its the caffeine.

    DON’T YOU JUDGE ME!!!

  264. Rosetta – That ain’t funny. Our cat ran away.

    He was probably sick of the sexual assault.

  265. Fuck, sorry about that, PJM.

    *shoots grant people with mace, sets them on fire*

  266. He was probably sick of the sexual assault.

    So? Oh, you’re saying that was a problem. I get it!

  267. Blu-ray player is working wonderfully. Both the Blu-ray and upconverted DVDs look great.

    Then STFU. You’re not getting 3D unless you spend my tax money to buy a 3D TV.

  268. The butler did it.

    In the Cloak Room.

    With the upstairs maid.

    I’ll be damned if I miss the next Meat-Up.

  269. BiW, how many helpless widows did you sue today?

  270. Oh well, I’ll just study it myself

  271. It’s not that bad MCPO, the temperature is the issue now. Going down to 0 tonight and not getting above freezing until Tuesday when it is supposed to rain.

    All of our houses will be collapsing on Tuesday.

  272. The butler did it.

    In the Cloak Room.

    With the upstairs maid.

    I’ll be damned if I miss the next Meat-Up.

    *takes tux to cleaners*

  273. Rosetta, how many times have you sexually assaulted Floyd? Just the ones RosettaBride didn’t catch you doing.

  274. Going down to 0 tonight and not getting above freezing until Tuesday

    Yeah, colder than Hillary’s snatch here too.

  275. Rosetta, how many times have you sexually assaulted Floyd?

    It’s complicated.

  276. PJM, what are you studying, and can we help in any way?

  277. “And we made $100 too much to receive the grant.”

    I think that was code PJ. Did you offer him $100?

  278. Rosetta, how many times have you sexually assaulted Floyd? Just the ones RosettaBride didn’t catch you doing.

    None. I make Mrs Rosetta give him a bath because I don’t feel right scrubbing his twig and berries.

  279. I don’t feel right scrubbing his twig and berries.

    And yet you laugh uproariously while I throw my back out licking them. Asshole.

  280. Heh, I love Caddell.

    http://tinyurl.com/6exr89x

  281. Peej, what about the phone you bought from me? Didn’t you declare that a business expense? Stupid Peej.

  282. Scott – It’s Cali. I think $100 gets you a weekend in a motel, IYKWIMAITYD

  283. Hahahaha. Floyd has the world’s longest tongue but he still can’t lick his junk because he’s a fat pig.

  284. Rosie – I just watched that RedEye. Both Caddel and Anthony rocked!

  285. Rosie – I just watched that RedEye. Both Caddel and Anthony rocked!

    I’m surprised the left hasn’t called out a hit on Caddell. He calls them out for their dumbshit on an almost daily basis.

  286. BiW, how many helpless widows did you sue today?

    Actually, I’m working my ass off to help one. I thought the novelty of it would be fun.

  287. Roosevelt – How is your beautiful bride? I hope she is wunnerful, despite the fact that you have chosen to squat in her house.

  288. We are fucked. Over the past 40 years our state population is basically unchanged, but the number of state workers is up 600%.

  289. Homemade veggie ravioli tonight, which means we’re into the most annoying stage of pregnancy: energetic nestbuilding.

  290. I’ve never listened to Stern. Although I’m a vulgarian with a 4th grade sense of humor, he always struck me as a bitter cruel and unfunny loser.

    Well….witness the David Lettermanization of Howard Stern:

    http://tinyurl.com/4up4n73

  291. Roosevelt – How is your beautiful bride? I hope she is wunnerful, despite the fact that you have chosen to squat in her house.

    She’s great. And she told me to tell you Happy Birthday.

  292. Homemade veggie ravioli tonight, which means we’re into the most annoying stage of pregnancy: energetic nestbuilding.

    Huh?!?! Herr? Is missus Herr with child?

  293. Rosie – Give her a hug. . . and quit sleeping on her porch!!

  294. Herr, what’s the ETA on that baby? Gettin’ close, if I recall –

  295. Rosie – Give her a hug. . . and quit sleeping on her porch!!

    My porch. MINE!!!

    How are you feeling today? Are you over your hangover?

    And what shit did you mix into a witch’s brew that kicked your ass the other night?

  296. “Peej, what about the phone you bought from me? Didn’t you declare that a business expense? Stupid Peej.”

    There was also the business trip to CT. She tried to sell me a pool, but when she got on Wiser’s monkey in a puddle she lost the deal.

  297. Huh?!?! Herr? Is missus Herr with child?

    Oh yeah. We’re a month shy of our launch window. She’s due Feb 16, but we’ll probably pull the trigger a little early.

    Drugs. Is there anything they can’t do?

  298. Don’t give up PJM.

    “Do what you love and the money will follow.” (Marsha Sinetar)

    You are smart… just stay passionate… your day will come… promise.

  299. Oh yeah. We’re a month shy of our launch window. She’s due Feb 16, but we’ll probably pull the trigger a little early.

    Drugs. Is there anything they can’t do?

    HA! Hey I dinnit know that. Congratulations buddy!!

    Best girl’s name ever? Floyd.

  300. Hahahahaha

    That exchange between Caddell and TV’s Andy Levy was hilarious.

  301. She tried to sell me a pool, but when she got on Wiser’s monkey in a puddle she lost the deal.

    No one has ever said that sentence before.

  302. We are fucked. Over the past 40 years our state population is basically unchanged, but the number of state workers is up 600%.

    is that real?

  303. “hate me all you want for trying to take advantage of California’s system”

    NEVER!

  304. Is it just me, or does “Reince Priebus” sound like a venereal disease?

  305. It’s real Rosetta, I heard it on the radio today and didn’t think it was possible, so I spent some time with my friend Bing and it’s accurate.

  306. Rosie – Herself says I got an intestinal bug. I’m on day two of the asshole-slamming, screaming yellow squirts.

  307. Is it just me, or does “Reince Priebus” sound like a venereal disease?

    Well this doesn’t bode well. Anagram of Reince Priebus?

    Incubi Pee Errs

  308. Stupid Rosetta, if it’s a girl it’s Floydia.

  309. Oh noe.

    Cribs Pee Urine

  310. Congrats HM!

  311. OK, today’s Summary Post is ready to rock and roll. How much longer do you guys wanna ogle this scrawny little child?

  312. My dinner tonight consists of home smoked chinook on crackers.

  313. Floydeliscia.

    Floydequa.

    Floydique.

  314. Oh, and Rum.

  315. Cribs Pee Urine

    2 girls, 1 GOP?

  316. It’s real Rosetta, I heard it on the radio today and didn’t think it was possible, so I spent some time with my friend Bing and it’s accurate.

    Wow! That’s a stunning statistic. And yes, your state is fucked.

    I wonder what those numbers look like for the country.

    Bureaucrats are fucked and rightfully so.

    GET A REAL JOB ASSHOLES!!!

  317. I think we have a new honorary hostage … http://www.nationalreview.com/the-feed/257223/end-berlusconi

  318. Thanks, Rosetta. It’s #4 for us, so the excitement level is right up there with a new dishwasher.

    I know that sounds bad, but it’s kind of true. We’re thrilled of course, but just can’t get into the whole “Oh a baby!” thing.

  319. Thanks Vmax!

  320. I think we have a new honorary hostage …

    No dice. He didn’t have to call his Mom for bail money.

  321. Makes me feel downright patriotic:

    http://reason.com/blog/2011/01/14/alcohol-and-the-origins-of-the

  322. NEW POAT!!!! NEW POAT!!!! NEW POAT!!!!

  323. Depressing story out of Michigan.

    Well, I mean more than usual.

    http://bit.ly/gQ1ne5

  324. My younger daughter gave birth on NYE 2002 at 11:54 PM. When we got to go in to see her I said “So where is Deduction?”

    Father of the Year!

  325. Floydeleine…..just don’t call her Floydy, PJ hates that.

  326. Thanks, Rosetta. It’s #4 for us, so the excitement level is right up there with a new dishwasher.

    Hahahahahahaha!!! As the youngest in my family, I actually appreciate that sentiment.

    *Listen, do what you want but don’t get arrested or hit by a car.”

  327. Gloyd.

  328. NEW POAT………

  329. […] H2 has Big Boob Friday. And some Rule 5 for the ladies (last […]


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