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December 31, 2010
Categories: alcohol, bacon, Balls, BANGLAR!, hopey changey shit, I feel like chicken tonight. . . Author: Blackiswhite, Imperial Consigliere

110 Comments

  1. Comment by Kelly on December 31, 2010 9:35 pm

    Happy New Years my bitches!

  2. Comment by Kelly on December 31, 2010 9:36 pm

    HAHA FRIST!

  3. Comment by Blackiswhite, Imperial Consigliere on December 31, 2010 9:37 pm

    Fist?

    Is the three-piston asshammer broken?

  4. Comment by Sean M. on December 31, 2010 9:40 pm

    Where are all the words in this poat? I’m all disorientationed.

  5. Comment by Blackiswhite, Imperial Consigliere on December 31, 2010 9:41 pm

    I just got off the phone with Retired Geezer. What’s you goddamn phone numbe BiW?

    I just emailed it to you in Facedouchechimp.

  6. Comment by Kelly on December 31, 2010 9:42 pm

    FRist, bitch…not fist.

  7. Comment by pajama momma on December 31, 2010 9:44 pm

    FRist, bitch…not fist.

    He was fantasizing

  8. Comment by daveintexas on December 31, 2010 9:46 pm

    >> . I LOVE YOU DAVE!!!

    I love you too PJ.

    I’m calling BiW now. He better be wearing clothes.

  9. Comment by Sean M. on December 31, 2010 9:46 pm

    FRist, bitch…not fist.

    http://tinyurl.com/2bu43uv

  10. Comment by daveintexas on December 31, 2010 9:50 pm

    all right, BiW answered the fucking phone.

    who’s next?

  11. Comment by pajama momma on December 31, 2010 9:52 pm

    He better be wearing clothes.

    I have no idea why that made me laugh out loud, but it did.

  12. Comment by Pupster on December 31, 2010 9:55 pm

    Thanks for the concise new poat, Talks-With-Tongue-Like-Argentine-Lake-Duck’s-Tomahawk.

  13. Comment by daveintexas on December 31, 2010 9:55 pm

    because you’re NOT wearing clothes?

    sheesh. *bring in the goats

  14. Comment by daveintexas on December 31, 2010 9:56 pm

    goddammit, I dunna have Pupster’s phone number.

    fuck this shit!

  15. Comment by mcpo airdale on December 31, 2010 9:58 pm

    Happy New Year!

  16. Comment by Sean M. on December 31, 2010 9:59 pm

    goddammit, I dunna have Pupster’s phone number.

    fuck this shit!

    http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=9DkaRUtp3w8

  17. Comment by daveintexas on December 31, 2010 10:00 pm

    Happy New Year Master Chief.

  18. Comment by Pupster on December 31, 2010 10:00 pm

    I’d give it to you, but it’s unlisted. I don’t even have it, Falls-Down-In-Flowing-Waters.

  19. Comment by mcpo airdale on December 31, 2010 10:01 pm

    five indians & on the phone

  20. Comment by daveintexas on December 31, 2010 10:04 pm

    BiW is not lit. YET

  21. Comment by daveintexas on December 31, 2010 10:05 pm

    Well I’ll just wish you a happt new year here then you dog you,

  22. Comment by mcpo airdale on December 31, 2010 10:06 pm

    trousers drop at midnight!

  23. Comment by geoff on December 31, 2010 10:14 pm

    Falls-Down-In-Flowing-Waters.

    Good point, Rolls-in-Gifs-and-Eats-Own-Poop.

  24. Comment by ChrisP on December 31, 2010 10:14 pm

    Happy New Year to all the Hot Snausages, their families and friends! May the good Lord bless and keep you, one and all. I wish for all of you a happy, healthy and prosperous New Year.
    But, between you & me, we know that’s not gonna happen for all of us. So I wish you all the best outcome for the cards you are dealt for this New Year.
    Me, I have no hope, so I bought a couple lottery tickets. One for “Mega Millions”, and one for the WA Lotto. Other than that I’ve got no prospects.
    Anita called CIGNA the other day about my surgery and they told her they sent the denial-letter to the surgeon, the hospital, and us, on Tuesday.
    Happy Frickin’ New Year!
    ]
    May all your prospects be better than mine, the wind be at your back, and your soul be in Heaven an hour before Satan knows you’re dead!
    Good night, and good cheer to you all!
    God Bless You, Hostages!

  25. Comment by geoff on December 31, 2010 10:14 pm

    trousers drop at midnight!

    Did no one get McPO a belt for Christma?

  26. Comment by Blackiswhite, Imperial Consigliere on December 31, 2010 10:17 pm

    BiW is not lit. YET

    With the new meds, BiW CAN’T get lit, or his bloodsugar will crater and he will experience the excitement and thrills that can only come from a coma.

  27. Comment by Pupster on December 31, 2010 10:18 pm

    Well I’ll just wish you a happt new year here then you dog you,

    You too, Kicking-Beagle.

  28. Comment by daveintexas on December 31, 2010 10:22 pm

    Pupster, you’re such a fag.

  29. Comment by Pupster on December 31, 2010 10:25 pm

    You’ve got entirely the wrong idea about me, Barking-Up-Wrong-Tree.

    I like chicks.

  30. Comment by ChrisP on December 31, 2010 10:35 pm

    Wiserbud,
    Happy New Year, buddy!
    Yeah, I know I’m on “The List”, and I told you “Fuck You” on your birthday card from me & Anita, but I just wanted to be sure that you were not left out, as you are excluded from lots of stuff here.
    So, to you & yours, Happy New Year!
    Try not to set anyone on fire.

  31. Comment by Vmaximus on December 31, 2010 10:49 pm

    Crap, I am back, went to a bonfire and connected with old friends. Smores, Marshmallows, etc. Came home in time to pass out go to bed.
    After many, many, shots of whiskey.

  32. Comment by Vmaximus on December 31, 2010 10:50 pm

    and much smoke

  33. Comment by ArmedGeek on December 31, 2010 10:51 pm

    New poat ? where ?

  34. Comment by ArmedGeek on December 31, 2010 11:00 pm

    Too early to pass out. Only 10pm in the TEXAS time zone (US Central should really be renamed, Texas Standard Time). Time for another Woodford Reserve.

  35. Comment by Pendejo via iphone on December 31, 2010 11:04 pm

    When you choose to spend nye at the home of your 75 year old parents, and they’re both lifelong teetotalers, there will be no alcohol. I’ll feel damned good in the morning though.

  36. Comment by ArmedGeek on December 31, 2010 11:09 pm

    No booze ?!? ouch. I’ll feel fine when I get up too. I fully intend to sleep through my hangover.

  37. Comment by Pupster on December 31, 2010 11:11 pm

    Happy New Year, Raper-of-Donkey and Dances-With-Loose-Squaws.

    http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=RgK078_kIP8&feature=fvw

  38. Comment by Eddie The Bear on December 31, 2010 11:11 pm

    http://gatewaypundit.rightnetwork.com/2010/12/goat-beauty-contest-begins-in-saudi-arabia/

  39. Comment by Pupster on December 31, 2010 11:14 pm

    Happy New Year, Speaks-With-Fucked-Tongue.

  40. Comment by daveintexas on December 31, 2010 11:15 pm

    two dogs fucking, see joke, #31

  41. Comment by Pendejo via iphone on December 31, 2010 11:17 pm

    Eddiebear, at least say fuck. Don’t just link and run. I feel empty when you don’t fuck up a poat with excessive fucks.

  42. Comment by Eddie The Bear on December 31, 2010 11:22 pm

    fuck

  43. Comment by ArmedGeek on December 31, 2010 11:23 pm

    fuck

    Well said.

  44. Comment by ChrisP on December 31, 2010 11:24 pm

    Eddie,
    Thanks! And Happy New Year!

  45. Comment by pajama momma on December 31, 2010 11:24 pm

    Pendejo, I’ll be at my 70 year old parents house in a few minutes, but we’ll be gettin our drink on

    WOOT! WOOT!

    Thank God they live behind us so we don’t have to drive anywhere
    Just a short walk up a dangerous, steep, unlit brick stairway

    Happy New Year my loves!

  46. Comment by Pupster on December 31, 2010 11:26 pm

    Happy New Year, Lives-With-Bad-Back.

  47. Comment by Pendejo via iphone on December 31, 2010 11:27 pm

    Wish I were there.

  48. Comment by ArmedGeek on December 31, 2010 11:29 pm

    Pendejo, we’ll try to drink enough for you too.

  49. Comment by Pendejo via iphone on December 31, 2010 11:49 pm

    That’s what I expect.

  50. Comment by ArmedGeek on December 31, 2010 11:58 pm

    Honestly not a spam attempt here, but you really do have to check out the Hooker on the New Year’s post at H&B

  51. Comment by ArmedGeek on January 1, 2011 12:25 am

    Oh, come on! you fuckers can’t possibly be out already

  52. Comment by Lipstick on January 1, 2011 12:27 am

    Poor Armed Geek, peddling hookers with no response.

  53. Comment by Dave in Texas on January 1, 2011 12:38 am

    22 minutes

  54. Comment by Sean M. on January 1, 2011 12:40 am

    I’se back. I don’t tend to go out on NYE. Too many drunk drivers/DUI checkpoints. Those aren’t good odds.

  55. Comment by ArmedGeek on January 1, 2011 12:44 am

    I ain’t so much peddling Hookers as trying to spread a damned fine image. 15min.

  56. Comment by Sean M. on January 1, 2011 12:47 am

    So, you’re kind of an ass man, aren’t you, AG?

  57. Comment by ArmedGeek on January 1, 2011 12:48 am

    Is it obvious ?

  58. Comment by ArmedGeek on January 1, 2011 12:51 am

    Actually, I am an ass man, but I also like legs, long hair and a nice back. Boobs are nice, but the back of a woman is really the first thing I notice. Oddly, I have a thing for dark eyes too.

  59. Comment by roamingfirehydrant on January 1, 2011 12:52 am

    Cheered the ball dropping in NYC (though seeing Dick Clark like that hurt). Drank wine, champagne, and, believe it or not, chocolate wine with whipped cream that was awesome. It was this: http://chocovine.com/

    I am slightly fitshaced.

  60. Comment by ArmedGeek on January 1, 2011 12:54 am

    also fitshaced. Bourbon. 5min. Happy New Year roamy.

  61. Comment by roamingfirehydrant on January 1, 2011 12:57 am

    Happy New Year, AG.

  62. Comment by Sean M. on January 1, 2011 12:59 am

    Happy New Year, Roamy (and everybody else).

  63. Comment by roamingfirehydrant on January 1, 2011 1:02 am

    WHOOO-HOOOOO!!!!! FUCK YOU 2010, GET IN THE REARVIEW MIRROR, BITCH!!!!

  64. Comment by roamingfirehydrant on January 1, 2011 1:02 am

    Happy New Year, Sean (and anyone else I’ve missed)

  65. Comment by ArmedGeek on January 1, 2011 1:03 am

    Another year shot to shit

    2011 will be better .. I’ll have a bigger booze budget!

  66. Comment by Lipstick on January 1, 2011 1:03 am

    Happy New Year all younz!

  67. Comment by jay in ames on January 1, 2011 1:05 am

    Happy new year from the sober pizza cook!

  68. Comment by daveintexas on January 1, 2011 1:08 am

    Happy New Year you goofs

  69. Comment by Sean M. on January 1, 2011 1:08 am

    WHOOO-HOOOOO!!!!! FUCK YOU 2010, GET IN THE REARVIEW MIRROR, BITCH!!!!

    Some of us are still stuck here in 2010, you know.

  70. Comment by ArmedGeek on January 1, 2011 1:13 am

    Some of us are still stuck here in 2010, you know.

    You poor left-coast mofos

  71. Comment by daveintexas on January 1, 2011 1:30 am

    central time

  72. Comment by ArmedGeek on January 1, 2011 1:40 am

    central time

    Texas Standard Time

  73. Comment by Sean M. on January 1, 2011 1:41 am

    We suffer alike in moments like the Times Square ball drop, Dave.

    (At least during the ball drop in Times Square on NYE, that is.)

  74. Comment by Andy on January 1, 2011 1:41 am

    Woo Hoo! Happy New Year. Celebratin’ in two time zones, Happy New Year!

  75. Comment by Andy on January 1, 2011 1:42 am

    Sean, WTF time are you coming over here tomorrow?

  76. Comment by Sean M. on January 1, 2011 1:50 am

    Since we’re having fun, here’s a Riley pic from Chrimmas morning:

    http://tinyurl.com/248h42a

    He’s going in for a haircut next weekend.

  77. Comment by Sean M. on January 1, 2011 1:51 am

    Andy, I talked to b-rad, and it sounds like 5 pm is the time we’re shooting for.

  78. Comment by Andy on January 1, 2011 1:52 am

    Ouch! http://www.wwtdd.com/2010/12/katy-perry-is-a-natural-beauty/

  79. Comment by Andy on January 1, 2011 1:53 am

    Cool. I’ll be 8 indians by then!

  80. Comment by Sean M. on January 1, 2011 2:01 am

    Pick up your phone, you doucheneck!

  81. Comment by Andy on January 1, 2011 2:09 am

    Check your TextMessageDickPole

  82. Comment by Sean M. on January 1, 2011 2:25 am

    Check your voicemail, EdBalls.

  83. Comment by Andy on January 1, 2011 2:47 am

    I will when I can hear. If it’s mission critical, email me.

  84. Comment by sohos on January 1, 2011 3:14 am

    What up pussyS

  85. Comment by Andy on January 1, 2011 3:24 am

    ‘sup, sohootiepatootie?

  86. Comment by pajama momma on January 1, 2011 3:40 am

    We prank called Dave! We prank called Dave!

    Me and Gavin rock!

  87. Comment by Sean M. on January 1, 2011 3:43 am

    What up pussyS

    Sox isn’t here yet, darlin’.

  88. Comment by Pendejo via iphone on January 1, 2011 4:53 am

    What up pussyS

    Something tells me that count fell asleep with a smile of contentment last night.

  89. Comment by scottw on January 1, 2011 8:03 am

    Did someone lay off Car in?

  90. Comment by Pupster on January 1, 2011 8:10 am

    Wakey wakey or go back to bed.

    Happy New Year Hostage Tribe.

    – Chief Red Stag

  91. Comment by roamingfirehydrant on January 1, 2011 8:23 am

    Hahahaha, I loved the Indian names, Pupster.

    This is MUCH too early to be waking up on New Year’s Day. I blame Mare.

  92. Comment by Pupster on January 1, 2011 8:29 am

    Thanks Many-Brains-And-Boobs.

    Top to Bottom – Romy, Pup

    http://tinyurl.com/374m2kl

  93. Comment by Car in on January 1, 2011 8:41 am

    Wakey wakey.

    Sorry I was late.

    I wasn’t drunk or nothing last night. We just watched movies. I feel asleep before the first one ended.

    Woo hoo. Party girl.

    HAPPY NEW YEAR! [bangs drums, blows whistles, shoots off guns]

  94. Comment by roamingfirehydrant on January 1, 2011 8:41 am

    Heh, good one, Tail Wagging Like Crazy.

  95. Comment by roamingfirehydrant on January 1, 2011 8:43 am

    Keep the noise down, Buns of Steel.

  96. Comment by PattyAnn on January 1, 2011 8:45 am

    Happy New Year Hostages. And assorted hangers-on.

  97. Comment by Car in on January 1, 2011 8:47 am

    Keep the noise down, Buns of Steel.

    FINE. Then I’ll clean up this joint.

    [bangs pots together in sink, throws beer bottles against the fireplace]

    Should I drunk dial wake up Dave?

  98. Comment by scottw on January 1, 2011 8:48 am

    PA! Yer tasters back yet?

  99. Comment by PattyAnn on January 1, 2011 8:55 am

    Hey, Scott! Glad you’re still here. This year will be better!

    My taster is slowly coming back. I’ve added fresh oranges to my tuna fish diet, along with some yogurt, and peanut butter.
    Last night had a small glass of champagne. There is NOTHING wrong with my liquor taster at all.

  100. Comment by roamingfirehydrant on January 1, 2011 8:56 am

    So the phone rang. WTF? It was my paper lady, saying she can’t deliver my paper because one of the roads to my house is flooded. I looked out the window for the first time this morning. Holy shit! I’m not going anywhere for a while.

  101. Comment by leoncaruthers on January 1, 2011 9:00 am

    Happy 2011, folks. I’m almost done Christmas shopping!

    I went to bed around 1am, but I had a drink first. I should have skipped the drink.

  102. Comment by JAM2 on January 1, 2011 9:05 am

    happy new year…..

  103. Comment by PattyAnn on January 1, 2011 9:06 am

    I’m assuming Aggie’s spending time with her husband before he’s deployed and that wiser didn’t run her off. Correct?

  104. Comment by scottw on January 1, 2011 9:13 am

    PA, did the surgery do any good things for you?

  105. Comment by Car in on January 1, 2011 9:16 am

    Anyone have any resolutions?

  106. Comment by PattyAnn on January 1, 2011 9:17 am

    Scott, my legs feel better. Back still hurts. So far. Doc said to not pass judgment for 6 months. So we’ll see.

  107. Comment by PattyAnn on January 1, 2011 9:25 am

    I resolve to not get my belly button pierced.

  108. Comment by PattyAnn on January 1, 2011 9:26 am

    Decisions, decisions. Three Stooges marathon or Twilight Zone marathon.

  109. Comment by Sox on January 1, 2011 9:35 am

    SeaNm has a new poat up…

  110. Comment by Michael on January 1, 2011 11:50 am

    *wakes up — looks around*

    Did anyone get killed last night?


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