Secret Santa Setup

Look, jackholes, this is supposed to be Rosetta’s gig, but as he’s one of the only Hostages left still gainfully employed, he sloughed this off on me. Whore.

The best part of Christmas isn’t spending time with friends and family and celebrating the savior of the world and all that. It’s getting free shit in the mail.

I love getting packages (SHUT YOUR WHORE MOUTH) in the mail.

So here’s the deal. We’re gonna do a Secret Santa this year and you’ll participate and you’ll fucking like it. It will run smoothly, and YOU WILL NOT FUCK THIS UP. Unless you get tapped to give Wiser a gift. Then you get to fuck it all the way up its poop chute.

You: Send me an email with your nickname here, your real meatspace name, and a valid mailing address. You may wish to include you phone number as well.  DEADLINE IS NOVEMBER 30TH!!!!

Me: I promise not to turn anyone in for the reward on felony warrants.

Me: I’ll put the list in a hat and have dolly pull names out to randomly match you with another Hostage. I’ll email that participant with your contact info, and they’ll send you free shit. That’s the good news. The bad news is I’ll also send  you the name of some asshole who will expect you to spend  NO MORE THAN $20 on them, and mail it to them.

Questions? STFU AND PUT IT IN AN EMAIL! Which, since you’re asking, is bariejr AT gmail DOT com. If you can’t figure that out, you’re too dumb to play. But any other questions, I’ll be happy to try to answer.

n00bs: You’re welcome to join in. Encouraged, even. Lurkers, guess you better delurk next year.

328 Comments

  1. First! In line for presents….

  2. PJ, don’t let Gavin sleep.

    Not for any medical reason.

    Just to be a dick.

  3. You said bad words in your post.

  4. I’m going to poke him in the forehead every 4 hours.

  5. You could raffle off tickets to do that PJ, and your rent would be paid for a year.

  6. ooooooh! You’re brilliant! That’d be a great way to pay for Christmas.

  7. Brad, if I pay you the $20, can you make sure I get Wiserbud?

  8. Michael, I would think fro $20 Wiser can be procured.

  9. Brad, if I pay you the $20, can you make sure I get Wiserbud?

    HAHAHAHA!

  10. Xbad, pair me up with wiserbud…you know, just in case.

  11. Michael, bidding’s gonna go a lot higher than that to get wiserbud.

  12. Don’t give me Michael again. . . mailing green jello is a pain in the ass!

  13. I’m thinking of taking myself out of the running to save Hotspur from whatever lame shit I sent him last year.

  14. I think that’s so cool your g-ma is in the New York Times wiserbud

  15. What sort of gifts are given? Examples from the past would be helpful.

  16. xbrad, I’ll give you $10 if you let me have wiser.

  17. I think that’s so cool your g-ma is in the New York Times wiserbud

    Eh, anyone can get interviewed by the NYT. All you need to do is live to 99+

  18. Night.

  19. What sort of gifts are given? Examples from the past would be helpful.

    I got a rock.

  20. Don’t give me Michael again. . . mailing green jello is a pain in the ass!

    Oh fuck you. I think we got Mare. IIRC, she got an embroidered Hostages chambray work shirt (made by Cathy), which was been a coveted item ever since.

  21. Lipstick – PJM sent me sammichs (coupons) and juice boxes.

  22. awwwwwww, I lurves MCPO, course I got him a good gift.

    they were not coupons, they were gift cards

  23. I sent ellipooh paper.

  24. which was been a coveted item ever since.

    Absolutely.

    *double-checks rag pile in garage to make sure that “coveted” Hostage shirt is still there…..

  25. Lips, either something good for less than $20, or something funny. I’m the absolute worst at giving gifts. Check with the other idiots here.

  26. Despite Michael’s protestations to the contrary, I sent him a super fun gift (not jello).

  27. What sort of gifts are given? Examples from the past would be helpful.

    A stinky ferret hairball would be perfect.

  28. mare, gavin fell and hit his head on the sidewalk at wrestling practice. I don’t want you to think he really walked into a door

  29. I wear my Hostage shirt everywhere. It is the perfect weather here now. I put it on alnost every morning to drive Nina to school.

  30. Michael, I would think fro $20 Wiser can be procured.

    Depends. Does Micheal want a quickie or the whole “girlfriend” experience.

    ‘Cause that’s extra.

  31. Depends. Does Micheal want a quickie or the whole “girlfriend” experience.

    oh that just killed me

  32. Last year I got a great book and a New Orleans Saints bottle opener. Perfect gifts for me

  33. What sort of gifts are given? Examples from the past would be helpful.

    Lips, I spent weeks searching, bidding, purchasing and finally sending this gift to my Secret Santa recipient.

    http://tinyurl.com/2ds73g8

    I really take this shit seriously.

  34. Despite Michael’s protestations to the contrary, I sent him a super fun gift (not jello).

    True. I got a Batman toy, which is displayed on the Batman toy shelf in my study right now (where Batbear also resides — a gift from Skinbad and his daughters).

    But Chief, nothing can top the Nimitz challenge coin. That was really thoughtful. I keep that on my desktop.

  35. I’ll pay $20 for a pic of Sohos wearing a coveted Hostage shirt…

  36. I’ll pay $20 for a pic of Sohos wearing a coveted Hostage shirt…

    I’d pay $50 for a pic of SeauHeaus NOT wearing same….

  37. But Chief, nothing can top the Nimitz challenge coin. That was really thoughtful. I keep that on my desktop.

    OMG!!! Did he really get you one? I thought you were joking when you said that on ace’s the other day.

    Graham was supposed to go camping aboard the Nimitz two weeks ago but the C.O. put the kibosh on it. Too bad

  38. A stinky ferret hairball would be perfect.

    Oooo, I just threw it in the trash an hour ago, but it can be retrieved!

  39. I will get Count to take one and put it on facechimp this weekend and it will be for free sweet xbrad

  40. I already have that pic, Wiser.

  41. I will get Count to take one and put it on facechimp this weekend and it will be for free sweet xbrad

    *cough

    hello?

  42. I already have that pic, Wiser.

    One question:

    Do they look as good as they feel?

  43. Yes.

  44. Wiserbabe Maybe I will get YOUR name for Christmas 😉

  45. A presment for you all

    don’t say I never gave ya nothing.

  46. Yes.</I.

    *snicker

    like you know.

  47. Is Graham ok PJM?

  48. Wiserbabe Maybe I will get YOUR name for Christmas

    Highly unlikely.

    Now.

  49. Wiserbabe Maybe I will get YOUR name for Christmas 😉

    ohpleaseohpleaseohpleaseohpleaseohpleaseohpleaseohplease……….

  50. OMG!!! Did he really get you one? I thought you were joking when you said that on ace’s the other day.

    It’s in my hand right now. Adm Nimitz is on the tail side, the head side has blue and red coloring and shows the ship surrounded by five stars. He gave it to me in Connecticut, not for Christmas.

    I was choking up, but I think I managed to act cool.

  51. I got Compos, and, inspired by his story (under Teh Funneh), I sent him a four-pack of toilet paper and Imodium. I think also a box of Total.

  52. I’d pay $50 for a pic of SeauHeaus NOT wearing same….

    Let’s compromise, Sohos. I’ll pay $35 for a pic of you wearing the shirt unbuttoned.

    And no tying it off at the waist.

  53. I’ll pay $20 to not meet mare.

  54. Oooo, I just threw it in the trash an hour ago, but it can be retrieved!

    Yes, grab it and double-bag it. It should be really ripe by Christmas.

    Maybe you will get Laura.

    *crosses fingers*

  55. Still not seeing any emails in my inbox.

  56. I gave PJM a handful of my butt in CT

  57. I gave PJM a handful of my butt in CT

    Were you wearing earplugs at the time?

  58. Wiser – No. There was a small trickle of blood. . .

  59. Does Micheal want a quickie or the whole “girlfriend” experience.

    OK, WIser, I’ll sign up for the GFE, but you better put more effort into this than the last 23 girlfriends I met on Craigslist.

  60. OK, WIser, I’ll sign up for the GFE, but you better put more effort into this than the last 23 girlfriends I met on Craigslist.

    Okay, but you gotta take a shower first.

  61. Final scene of A Few Good Men on AMC now.

    YOU CAN’T HANDLE THE ROOF!!!

  62. Not to be unkind here, but PJM has a very distinctive laugh. I have some pretty serious damage in my right ear with extensive scarring around the eardrum. On the way to the picnic, PJM and Mrs. Rosetta were having a blast, but the laughter was so loud, it hurt. I mean it really fucking HURT!

  63. Okay, but you gotta take a shower first.

    The deal is off.

  64. Not to be unkind here, but PJM has a very distinctive laugh.

    Distinctive: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=0rqDkDhkJKQ

  65. Thank you Veterans!

    *flashes bewbs in gratitude*

  66. Patty Ann–I am wishing you well with hugs and kisses for tomorrow. I just know that you are going to feel so much better when this is all done! See you tomorrow 🙂

  67. Cyn!!!

    You gotta open the drapes before you flash us.

    **rustles around in bushes**

  68. The deal is off.

    dammit.

    Back to working the tunnel……

  69. Not to be unkind here, but PJM has a very distinctive laugh.

    It reminded me of my neighborhood in Ohio when the tornado warning sirens went off. Not to be unkind, it was just a distinctive sound.

  70. fuck you guys, I love being with PJ and hearing her laugh.

  71. My windows are wide open! Whose bushes are you in?? o_O

    *waits by window, still sorta half expecting that someone will throw beads*

  72. I love being with PJ and hearing her laugh.

    xbrad?

    http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=hRn064pYrtE

  73. I love being with PJ and hearing her laugh.

    That’s because you have hearing damage from the Army, and her laugh blends with the tinnitus.

  74. In all seriousness, God bless each and every one of you who have served our country. I am proud of you all and can never thank each of you enough for what you have given us all.

  75. My windows are wide open!

    Well, hello there, Cynamin sugar.

  76. I actually like to hear Peej laugh as well, but my tinnitus was caused by REO Speedwagon, not artillery shells.

  77. Cyn – Thank you. I truly appreciate it. . . unlike xBrad who just loves you for your bacon.

  78. Someone wake up Lauraw!

    Hugh Jackman is hosting SNL on a repeat on VH1

  79. *blows a gentle kiss to MCPO’s owie ear, smiles sweetly, then punches him in the poon*

    Man Up, Buttercup!

  80. MIchael – Unfortunately, I was serious about the pain.

  81. In all seriousness, God bless each and every one of you who have served our country. I am proud of you all and can never thank each of you enough for what you have given us all.

    Thank you, Cyn. Speaking as a man who has worn the uniform of his country and endured the hard service which comes with it (in a Boy Scout Marching Band), that means a lot to me.

  82. I too have a hard time with too much shrill, Chief. You’re not alone in that.

  83. T to B: MCPO Airdale; Cyn

    http://tinyurl.com/2epg9xb

  84. MIchael – Unfortunately, I was serious about the pain.

    You should have given her a piggy-back ride.

  85. Someone down the street is blasting Journey.

    Dudes, it’s a retirement community.

  86. You are the only one I had in mind when I wrote that Micheal.

    *throw up in mouth a little bit*

  87. cyn, many thanks for your kind words. Appreciation for my humble efforts from a wonderful person is heartwarming.

  88. They also serve who only stand and play clarinet.

  89. You should have given her a piggy-back ride.

    Going Backwards!

    (baby monkey)

  90. Michael, did I ever tell you how grateful I am for your service. Thanks for that, and freeing up a slot for a real man to serve.

  91. That’s hawt, MCPO! do it again.

  92. Crap!
    Ruby wants to go Pee every other hour, frack!

  93. Like this?

    http://tinyurl.com/28go4k3

  94. Good Sohos.

  95. Crap morning people have lower IQ’s

    Thank goodness I am not a morning person

  96. Vmax I have one word for you:
    Doggie Door.

  97. Dudes, it’s a retirement community.

    Living surrounded by old folks is the best. They’re not loud, and they don’t throw parties.

  98. MIchael – Unfortunately, I was serious about the pain.

    I believe you, Chief.

    Military service is tough on eardrums,

    Take me, for example. I had to march in front of the frickin’ trombones.!!!

  99. Doggie Door, with no fence? Fail

  100. Lips, but they always want to talk to you about their grandkids. There’s always a downside.

  101. I had to march in front of the frickin’ trombones.!!!

    HAHAHAHAHA!

    I appreciate your sacrifice, my friend.

  102. No fence??

    Sorry. Sounds like you’re screwed for a while. But she’s so sweet she’s worth it.

  103. They also serve who only stand and play clarinet.

    Dude, that’s just insulting. We had to march in time in the blazing hot sun of a Michigan Fourth of July parade.

    Sheesh.

  104. How sad is it that people are blasting Journey in a retirement community?

    On kinda the same topic, my MiL called earlier tonight. When I answered the phone, she said “Hi, It’s Mom.” She then quickly corrected herself, since she was talking to me and not wiserbride, saying “I mean, Dawn.”

    I said “No, I think of you as ‘Mom.’ So, how does it feel having a 50-year-old guy call you ‘Mom?””

    Yeah, I’m evil.

  105. You’re a good man to care for her so, Vmax.

    now send me your address.

  106. My mom NEVER wants me to bring up my age to her. Then again, I kinda hate to bring it up too.

    Do you almost feel 50 yet, wiserevil?

  107. Wiser, which of Rosetta’s panties are you wearing right now?

  108. Do you almost feel 50 yet, wiserevil?

    It started to hit me today.

    50? REALLY 50???

    fuck.

    On the other hand, I never thought I’d make 50, so there is that…..

  109. Wiser, which of Rosetta’s panties are you wearing right now?

    On my head or on my ass?

  110. Smooches Wiser. You’ll probably outlive us all. Unless there’s that firey crash thingy.

  111. This is Weel using Peel’s laptop.

    Any of you fine upstanding citizens know how to make ustream record a video without a tittyweb connection and upload it later for random internet degenerates to view?

  112. Head. I don’t want to know anything about nuthin’ near your ass.

  113. Hi Weel!

    You and Peelio finally getting around to making your own ‘home movies’? Good for you kids!

  114. We had to march in time in the blazing hot sun of a Michigan Fourth of July parade.

    Senior year in high school, I switched from clarinet to bass drum in the marching band. We marched in the Memorial Day Parade and, by the end, my blood was all over the the drum head.

    I PAID MY DUES, MUTHAFUCKA!!!

  115. Wiser – When is your birthing day?

  116. Unless there’s that firey crash thingy.

    One can only hope.

  117. Thanks for that, and freeing up a slot for a real man to serve.

    You should also thank Nixon.

    My draft lottery number during VietNam was 13, but I had a 2S student deferment until I graduated with a business degree from Michigan. People my age with a 13 were already getting killed in rice paddies.

    My plan upon graduation was to sign up real quick for OCS with the Air Force or Navy, both high-tech services with complex supply chains, where my business degree might actually be useful and spare me the experience of being drafted as a grunt by the Army. I had offers outstanding from both services.

    Then Nixon ended the draft and the war ended, so it all became moot.

  118. Nov. 20.

    Same day the first version of Windows was released.

  119. Well, the hope was to record the wedding and upload it to a private channel later (the sanctuary doesn’t have wi-fi to broadcast live).

    If’n I can’t figure this out, y’all will just have to settle for a dramatic reenactment at the party in the spring.

  120. Any of you fine upstanding citizens know how to make ustream record a video without a tittyweb connection and upload it later for random internet degenerates to view?

    is it plugged in?

  121. Dude!!! Fifty? No shit? So, you are just a few years younger than Michael and I.

    Hmmmmmmmm.

  122. Head. I don’t want to know anything about nuthin’ near your ass.

    Oh, well, then that would be the coral crotchless panties.

  123. Dude!!! Fifty? No shit?

    Yeah, 50. I’m now at the age where, when my son’s girlfriends stop by, they ask him if I’m his grandfather.

  124. Not to be unkind my butt!

    HAHAHAHA!

    Did you hear that?!? I hope I made your ears bleed.

    They actually ordered x-rays for Gavin. In waiting room now

  125. Will–I think Andy has played around with the Ustream quite a bit and he might be able to answer your questions. Might also be able to load it into a tab at the new H3 with the passwords enabled. I hope you’re able to figure it out!

    Please wish Peel a happy birthday !

  126. Waht happend PJM?? Is he okay?

  127. I hope I made your ears bleed.

    You wish has already been granted!

  128. It started to hit me today.

    Oh fuck you.

    I can spit on 60 from here, and am moving money from equities into those geezer “balanced” funds that are supposed to keep your portfolio safe when you are moving around with a walker.

    So, fuck you.

  129. They actually ordered x-rays for Gavin. In waiting room now

    damn, PJ. Had I known, I wouldn’t have been busting on you.

    lots of love to you and little G.

  130. I think Ustream is not gonna be your friend, but you may have some options with rapidshare, zShare, or other file sharing services.

    I’ll poke around a little.

  131. *snickers that MCPO said “Dude”*

  132. I will the next time I see her, which won’t be until when she’s coming down the aisle. Then again my brain might be a bit fogged at that very moment, so I may forget.

  133. nighy night ambien says byebbye

  134. So, fuck you.

    ZOMFG, yer old! LOL oldguy!!!

  135. I’m very happy and excited for you two, Weel!!

  136. Any of you fine upstanding citizens know how to make ustream record a video without a tittyweb connection and upload it later for random internet degenerates to view?

    Just record the ceremony with any camera, and upload it later to a YouTube account or anywhere else. If you can’t livestream it, ustream is irrelevant.

  137. Night Sohos!

  138. HEY LOOK!

    Weel got the whole “live-stream video” video thingy working!!!

    http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=4-94JhLEiN0

  139. I’ve considered trying to broadcast from one of our Droids, but Verizon’s 3G has been getting pretty spotty lately (or I just have shitty luck an/or timing). It would also murder the battery and any place with a clear view of the event is going to need an extention cord and a charger.

    I may just have to record the whole thing using the camera on my laptop. I think there’s software on there to do that.

  140. You can actually upload videos directly from your hard drive to H2, but H2 has to pay for this service.

  141. Thanks for all the pics you attached to your email, Sohos.

  142. sign up for zShare and you can upload some big files. And you can control who downloads them.

  143. zShare.net

  144. Holy Crap!
    Ruby wants to pee again.

    Every hour really? EVERY HOUR?

  145. You are a saint Vmax.

  146. This is going to get old.

    Quickly

    Like MCPO.

    I kid MCPO I Kid!

  147. No Cynibuns I am a idiot

  148. Off to bed for me. Sweet Dreams everyone.

  149. Precious Annabell,
    Don’t screw this up! We’ve already invested in the prayers. GOD bless you dear. We hope all goes well tomorrow and are praying for you!

    Chris & Anita

  150. Verizon’s 3G has been getting pretty spotty lately

    Heh. We’re faster.

  151. You’re a good man, Vmax. She’s a little unsettled and in a strange place. You’ll both settle down soon.

    And she’s such a cutie.

  152. I’mma go to bed. Be good, try not to set Michael on fire until he’s mailed off his Secret Santa gift.

  153. Let me know peel and I will host it for free on my site. Just record it and send me the file. I have a lot of bandwidth for the kitties..catman at kittentanz dot com

  154. Happy Birfday Peelio.
    Why don’t you have the date on FaceChimpDouche? Sorry I’m late…

  155. >> Any of you fine upstanding citizens know how to make ustream record a video without a tittyweb connection and upload it later for random internet degenerates to view?

    Uh, you’re marrying the rocket surgeon pal. Ax her.

  156. Well, looks like my laptop can record to a WMV file. I just set up a zShare account, but don’t expect anything until the middle of next week. Laptops are staying home over the honeymoon weekend.

    Thus, endeth Will’s adventure’s on Peel’s laptop.

  157. Is today Peel’s birthday?

    Dang, that must mean she looks like she’s 15 now.

    Happy Birthday, Mrs. Peel!!!

  158. And lo… I ended up leaving a typo for the world to see under her name. *gets affairs in order*

  159. *gets affairs in order*

    Weel plans on offing himself at the wedding?

  160. Will, we all wish you and Peelie the very best. Congratulations on landing such a catch!

  161. FRACK!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
    Ruby peed in the dining room!
    !/2 hour after I let her out to pee, and a hour after I let her out to pee again?

    WTF did I get myself into?????

  162. Well, I’ve arrived just in time to watch everybody here go to bed.

    Dickheads, all of you.

  163. Will, there was a photo from the last Texas meet-up where you were looking at Peel with such love in your eyes. Then there was another one with her looking at you in the same way.

    Much love to you both.

  164. awwwwww, love.

    that’s just so sweet

    oh and sorry bout the pee vmax. Glad you have wood floors and not carpet

  165. Dickheads, all of you.

    Shut up, I’m being all sentimental here.

  166. Fine, I’ll take some Regalan and go pout in a corner.

  167. So paulitics is sad that he’s missing b-rad?

    I have to love b-rad now because he said he likes my laugh

  168. Well I’m being sentimental too.

    God bless this new family.

  169. paulitics is sad that he’s missing b-rad?

    Princess, you need to stop taking hallucinogens so close to blogging.

  170. wait, did peel and will get married already?

  171. was I not invited? i totally picked out a dress

  172. Too lazy to read up to find out why everyone is so pussified sentimental tonight.

  173. Paul, I’m sorry for saying shut up. I should have said shush.

  174. As if I could be offended.

    But your apology is nice.

  175. Peel and Will are getting married tomorrow!

  176. I thought she was already married.

    I so confused.

  177. Peel and Will are getting married tomorrow!

    YAY!!!!!!!!!! that is SO exciting!!

    awwwwwwwww, a hostage wedding!

  178. OK, I’m back. Weel’s gonna be in the hurt locker if he ever forgets Mrs Peel’s b’day AND anniversary.

  179. Weel’s gonna be in the hurt locker if he ever forgets Mrs Peel’s b’day AND anniversary

    what if he doesn’t forget, but blows it off entirely?

  180. awwwwwwwww, a hostage wedding!

    Also, the first non-disturbing Hostages sex.

  181. If he does that,PJ, they’ll never find the body.

    How’d the xrays go?

  182. FRACK!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
    Ruby peed in the dining room!

    She’s a Grande Dame. Elderly ladies must go more frequently.

  183. Also, the first non-disturbing Hostages sex.

    welll, it was male to female anyways

    x-rays went fine. I was a little surprised the doctor ordered them, but I thought that was nice of him. I didn’t ask.

    When the x-ray tech saw Gavin he said, they didn’t tell you to go to the emergency room? That’s huge!

  184. She’s a Grande Dame. Elderly ladies must go more frequently.

    hahaha, or ones that have had 4 kids

  185. That’s huge!

    Wait, Gavin’s head or your giant burritohead?

  186. Is that why the doctor left the room and came back with sour cream?

  187. Maybe it wasn’t really sour cream?

  188. As if I could be offended.

    But your apology is nice.

    Thanks, Paul. I tend to make smart-ass comments and then second guess them.

  189. Poonani Mommma, email me your address for Secret Santa.

  190. You too, lips

  191. ok. I have to go to bed now. I have to wake Gavin up every couple of hours. This is gonna be a blast.

  192. Use an air horn, PJ. Make SURE he’s awake that way.

  193. Peej, be prepared for nausea. Have a basin or a bucket ready.

  194. ok. I have to go to bed now. I have to wake Gavin up every couple of hours. This is gonna be a blast.

    Man, I cracked my head open so many times as a kid that I groop hurpy mooger-moogity zep. Hrraaaaagy!

    Wait, what was I saying just now?

  195. Gavin might throw up too.

  196. *blows air horn at Sean*

  197. Seriously, as a member of the last generation not required to wear bike helmets, I got quite a few concussions. Also, about 25% of my body is scar tissue from stitches.

    It didn’t help that I was really fucking clumsy.

  198. For a moment, I thought Lips said she blew Sean.

  199. For a moment, I thought Lips said she blew Sean.

    Dude, I have your phone number. If that had happened, you would have heard it from me. And right quick, too.

  200. Well, I’m a fan of Sean, but not that much of a fan.

  201. so, gonna wait till the last minute, or do you have an idea who the friday night hotassery will be at your place, Seaaan?

  202. I usually don’t start thinking about that until sometime Friday evening.

    Also, it’s always nice to meet a fan.

  203. Sean, you would TELL?

  204. OK, I gots to go to bed now. Good night.

  205. Lips, he’d tell everyone.

    But no one would believe him.

  206. Sean, you would TELL?

    Well, uhh, I wouldn’t use your name or anything…

    (Damn, I have to think before I make comments like that.)

  207. New blood-boiling post up at DPUD.

  208. Wakey wakey

  209. GOOD NORNING HOSTAGES *said in Robin Williams voice*

  210. Mornin’

    Prayers for PA today.

  211. Good morning. PA will be just fine. Roamy was a great example of how to get it done.

  212. Yay, I have the day off. I’ll celebrate it by going in at 9 instead of 7.

  213. HaPpy Birthday Peel! Prayers and love to PA

  214. Okay, I’m in for Secret Santa, assuming xbrad doesn’t fuck it all up like RosettaWhore did last year.

    If you get my name, I don’t like bacon mints.

  215. Well I cleared security.

    I did not get felt up.

    Kinda disappointed.

  216. Good morning.

    *Good vibrations going out to Patty.*

  217. I miss you Dave when am I going to see you again?

  218. I miss you too Sohot and I need to see you again soon.

    There will be hugs.

    Lots.

  219. Morning Hostages, prayers for PattyAnn today. Stupid internet went down last night. My luck sucks lately.

  220. Dave, I’m seriously considering never flying again.

  221. I share your sentiments Leon.

  222. what? I was thinking about Sohos feeling me up. Sorry. say again?

    I’ll probably see the full security deal on the way back, will report faithfully.

    Bestes kindest thoughts and prayers for PA today too.

  223. FRACK. Long division again. Youngest this time. When will this hell ever end?

  224. When your kids learn math and join the human race.

  225. Who ever invented long division. Cause they SUCK. I swears. Divide, multiply, subtract. too many steps.

  226. If you can bake biscuits, you can do long division.

  227. There just isn’t an easy way to teach it. It sucks. So confusing. you’re telling them to do all these different steps, which they can’t keep straight.

    Ugh. I hate it.

  228. I was told there’d be no math here.

  229. Well, duh I can do long division.

    But doing it and teaching it are two completely unrelated activities.

    Math was rather easy for me. I always saw what was going on. Long division made sense, so I wasn’t following a set of steps.

    The difficulty is getting kids to understand WHY they are doing the steps … so that they are not simply trying to remember an order of seemingly unrelated steps.

  230. Small steps. Write down the algorithm in the abstract and walk through it line by line with a few problems. That’s how I learned it.

  231. Don’t worry about it Car in. They won’t need it in real life. I’m on a conference call with the president of the company and all of the VPs and none of them can follow basic math.

  232. Long division again.

    That is still taught?

  233. I won’t work for anyone innumerate. The risks are too great.

  234. Long division?

  235. They won’t need it in real life.

    Actually, I still do it from time to time. I know it’s faster on a calculator, but I still sometimes do it the hard way when I’m too lazy to get out my calculator. It’s in a drawer three feet away, for fux sake.

  236. Carin, perhaps if you didn’t scream, they would be able to concentrate.

  237. Fog’s gone, worktime.

  238. Trachtenburg speed system of basic mathametics.

  239. Actually, I still do it from time to time.
    —————-
    I like math, and always write out my equations by hand. I guess I was just bitching that no one seems to care about the process, only the result. Ho-hum.

  240. Nothing like waking up in the morning and finding a bunch of assholes left you their addresses in the mail.

    MJ at least had the presence of mind to toss in a pic of a hot girl.

  241. WTF?? I didn’t have the TIME to search for a hooker, Brad!! Had to do the Open Thread at H&B before starting my day.

    And good morning.

  242. Well, it might just have been MJ in a schoolgirl uniform. I don’t have my glasses on yet.

  243. I guess I was just bitching that no one seems to care about the process,

    I was good at arithmetic and math when I was a kid. I maxed out after Plane Geometry though, because then I discovered girls.

  244. Good morning, Hostages! Prayers for PattyAnn today.

  245. So, Michigan Hostages, who is Saul Anuzis?

  246. Hahahaha

    Never heard of him.

  247. ROAMY!!!!

    How are you feeling, dear? I have no clue who Saul Anuzis is. I am running low on caffeine right now 🙂

  248. Roamy, from wiki:

    Saulius “Saul” Anuzis (born March 6, 1959) is a Republican Party leader from the U.S. State of Michigan, he is currently serving as national chairman for the Save American Jobs Project on the American Solutions team. He was chairman of the Michigan Republican Party from 2005-2009 and was also a candidate for national chairman of the Republican National Committee in 2009.

  249. He’s been sending me email messages pr0n the entire election season. Some bigwig in the Michigan RNC.

  250. Awww, Hotspur came by my blog!!

    *gives Hotspur a Denver omelette and squishy hugs*

  251. Aggie, HotBride is putting a whole omelette menu together for the inn. What is a Denver omelette?

  252. Anuzis just announced he’s running against Michael Steele to lead the RNC. Has he got a chance?

  253. Is Rosetta gay yet?

  254. Hotspur, here’s a good recipe for Denver omelettes:

    http://www.real-restaurant-recipes.com/denver-omelet.html

  255. Oh, got it. It’s another name for Western Omelette. Thanks.

  256. Why does wordouche think omelette is misspelled?

  257. So, Michigan Hostages, who is Saul Anuzis?

    I like the guy a lot. He’s a Michigan businessman who made a boatload of cash and is an active conservative. He ran for RNC chair last time and lost. He’s really tech-savvy. He had some good ideas last run. I think he’d be a HUGE step forward for the RNC. I mean, probably not as historic as a man of color, but he’d still be a huge step forward.

  258. Anuzis just announced he’s running against Michael Steele to lead the RNC. Has he got a chance?

    Now that Steele has shit the bed, I think Anuzis has as good a chance as anyone. I’d really like to see him succeed. He came in third out of five last time, so I do think he’s got a chance.

  259. Mornin’, Jazz. How long are you going to keep the fist in uranus?

  260. Mornin’, Jazz. How long are you going to keep the fist in uranus?

    Forever.

  261. How’s things this AM, Hotspur? It’s rather nice here today. Kind of warm.

  262. Sunny and clear.

    I have an appointment in a half hour to look at a piece of property with a client. Nice morning to be out in the fresh air.

  263. Is Rosetta gay yet still?

    Hahahahahah! Of course he is!!! You can tell by the mannish swine he picks for BBQFT.

  264. I’m off for the morning run. Its a beautiful day, so I’m sure plenty of suburban MILFs will be out.

    I put up mostly Trentemoller on DBF, for you Jazz.

  265. I put up mostly Trentemoller on DBF, for you Jazz.

    That was sweet, but I don’t put out without dinner first.

  266. I’m on my over now, MJ. Eagerly anticipating it, actually.

  267. “but I don’t put out without dinner first.”

    Ahhhh, Hostage love.

  268. Morning Jazz, how you doing today?

  269. I’m really ready for Fat Titty Friday.

  270. Ahhhh, Hostage love.

    Love? It’s not like we’re gonna kiss or anything.

  271. HAHAHAHAHA…..good point.

  272. I’m GREAT today, JPD. How’s you?

    I’m on my way to the kitchen to get a cup of hot chocolate and a donut. 🙂

  273. JPD, Mare, Jazz, you jack holes still need to sign up for the Secret Santa. bariejr
    AT gmail DOT com.

  274. Doing good Jazz, I so wish I had a donut. Going to the kitchen to get pizza

  275. Have I told y’all how damn good I look today?

    Because I do.

    Other than my 70s homo hair, that is. The gal who cuts my hair had neck surgery last month, and I haven’t had my hair cut in a LONG time, so now I have to blow it dry, or it stays wet until 3 PM or so. The bennies of blowing my hair dry? Homo hair. It feathers and goes all poofy. Really quite gay. All I need is a polyester suit and a pair of those lavender Transitions glasses and I’ll leave trails of flame in my wake.

  276. Going to the kitchen to get pizza

    Pizza would make a good after-donut dessert.

  277. Xbrad.. what is a meatspace name??

  278. What kind of pizza would you like Jazz? 70’s homo hair sounds so hawt.

  279. that’s your real name, JPD.

    meatspace is the real world where you are made of meat, as opposed to cyberspace, where you are made of electrons.

  280. Ha ha haa … who changed my comment?

    Saul update:

    He sent me a huge email today.

    Lotsa porn.

  281. Buenos dias, Muchachas.

  282. Patty Ann’s surgery was underway at 850 am central, unless she was holding out for more drugs. Will update when available .

  283. Thanks Xbrad. Sending it to you right now.

  284. What kind of pizza would you like Jazz?

    Any. I’m not picky. I most often just have cheese and pep, but I like just cheese, and I like supremes, too – including anchovies. Depending on the vendor, I prefer to stay away from greasier meats like sausage, but I’m really a pizza whore – I’ll eat pretty much anything.

  285. ’m off for the morning run. Its a beautiful day, so I’m sure plenty of suburban MILFs will be out.

    I’m going to TRY to take some time off from running. I’ve got tendinitis in my achilles.

    I say try, because I’m really no good at taking time off.

    I’m stupid.

    But I fricken hate those machines at the gym. I can handle it two (or three) times a week, but more than that I wanna stab myself in the head.

  286. Patty Ann’s surgery was underway at 850 am central, unless she was holding out for more drugs. Will update when available .

    Great! Thanks for the update. We’ll be waiting almost as impatiently as you. 🙂

  287. meatspace is the real world where you are made of meat, as opposed to cyberspace, where you are made of electrons.

    Electrons? REally. I thought you guys were nothing but pixels.

  288. I wonder if MJ realizes that Rosetta was serious when he said it was his job to do BBF today?

  289. Thanks, jnkrydog. I presume you’re AKA Big John?

    We’re praying away here!

  290. I’d love to see Saul take Steele’s place at the table.

    Opinion poll: Was Michael Steele an AA hire to counter Obammy’s election?

  291. I wonder if MJ realizes that Rosetta was serious when he said it was his job to do BBF today?

    He’s got it done, wiser. Cool your lube.

  292. Jakeman, sign up for Secret Santa, NOW!

  293. Aggie, HotBride is putting a whole omelette menu together for the inn. What is a Denver omelette?

    Compton omelette: Most y’all deserve to hosed wit my nine…….but omelette this shit slide this time.

  294. PG, you too, sign the fuck up.

  295. Will do Mr. Tankdriver, sir. Can’t get to my gstringemail acct from work though.

  296. I don’t care what account you send from.

  297. Jazz, pineapple and canadian bacon is all I have in the fridge.

    Brad, sent you an email, sorry pic of hot wimmen were attached

    Prayers for Patty Ann today.

  298. ooooh, Xbrad, it makes me feel all warm and fuzzy when you talk tough 🙂

    Yeah, yeah, count me in. Gotta find $20 first….

    *goes into Mrs. Jakeman’s purse*

  299. Okay, xbrad. I swear, though, if you send me intimate photos of you and Dolly, I’m posting them on every intertube I can find.

  300. Jazz, pineapple and canadian bacon is all I have in the fridge.

    YUM! Cold, please.

  301. *hands Jazz cold pizza straight out of the fridge*

  302. I have some wonderfully warped friends, one of whom sent me this.

    I got a new stick deodorant today.
    The instructions said: “Remove cap and push up bottom”.
    I can barely walk, but whenever I fart, the room smells lovely.

  303. is it too early for Christmas music?

  304. Motherfucker. The employees in my office all take turns bringing donuts on Fridays throughout the year. Today’s cock-knobber brought fucking bagels. Goddammit. They don’t look like donuts. They don’t taste like donuts. I’m in Grand Rapids, Michigan – there’s not a Jewish bagelry within fifty miles of here, and there’s not a fucking goy in this state than can make a bagel worth two shits. Who the fuck wants to chew tires for breakfast? This sucks.

  305. 8:50 Central … is 9:50 Eastern. So, one hour in right? If I recall, it was gonna take several hours … like mid after-noonish?

  306. is it too early for Christmas music?

    It’s ALWAYS too early for Christmas music.

  307. Jazz, our “special” album is already posted all over.

  308. *hands Jazz cold pizza straight out of the fridge*

    Gracias, bonita senorita. 🙂

    Mmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmm…….

  309. Ok, here’s a song you guys may actually like.

    Jamie Cullum’s Frontin.

    It’s cool.

  310. From the sidebar at Ace’s, and oh so on-point: http://ftalphaville.ft.com/blog/2010/11/12/403416/request-for-urgent-business-relationship/

  311. Ha haa haa …from NRO’s “Jolt”

    “President Barack Obama’s top adviser suggested to The Huffington Post late Wednesday that the administration is ready to accept an across-the-board, temporary continuation of steep Bush-era tax cuts, including those for the wealthiest taxpayers. That appears to be the only way, said David Axelrod, that middle-class taxpayers can keep their tax cuts, given the legislative and political realities facing Obama in the aftermath of last week’s electoral defeat. ‘We have to deal with the world as we find it,’ Axelrod said during an unusually candid and reflective 90-minute interview in his office, steps away from the Oval Office. ‘The world of what it takes to get this done.'”

    Instapundit, a.k.a. Glenn Reynolds, notices a strange rhetorical concession: “I don’t think we’d ever been told before that Bush gave any tax cuts to the middle class. I thought they all went to fat guys in three-piece suits who lit cigars with hundred-dollar bills.

  312. Steve Harvey has had some great moments on Family Feud. This one made me chuckle:

    http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=jqDGK_UjfFI

  313. New goal for the H2. We need to be quoted in the Jolt. that would be cool.

    Now, how do we get Jim Geraghty to read us?

  314. andy, you still need to sign up, you enormous dickhead.

  315. Frank J on twitter:

    “What’s more likely forty years from now: A war involving cyborg zombie dinosaurs or me collecting a Social Security check?

  316. xbrad has an interesting method of recruiting. Harassment.

  317. Car in, most of the time, the easiest way is to just email him links until he either blocks our emails, or throws his hands up and tosses us a link to shut us the fuck up.

    It’s what i did with instapundit.

  318. Fecking OOPS: http://tinyurl.com/2cbsj5w

  319. it’s old, Jazz, i linked that yesterday.

  320. Car in, most of the time, the easiest way is to just email him links until he either blocks our emails, or throws his hands up and tosses us a link to shut us the fuck up.

    Well, first (then) we need to actually have sort of content.

    I mean other than bewbs and youtube vids.

    Someone needs to find something funny to turn into an xtranormal vid.

  321. Well, Car in, guess it’s up to you. It’s not like I’m gonna write something interesting or funneh.

  322. New Post.

  323. >> andy, you still need to sign up, you enormous dickhead.

    I’m celebrating Festivus this year.

  324. Patty Ann is out of surgery. Doctor advised all went well. Thank you all for the well wishes and prayers.

  325. Thank you for the update Junkyard Dog!!

    Glad to hear all went well. Please give her a squeeze from all of us!!

  326. Sweet.

  327. >>Lurkers, guess you better delurk next year.

    DONT JUDGE ME


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