Rachel Maddow Fail

This is hilarious.  Johnny Dollar has a good post HERE but the video is pure comedy gold.

*

369 Comments

  1. You should see the huge parsnips I harvested Sunday morning.

  2. That post is great, manlesbian. good job. Especially liked this

    We hear a lot about Rachel Maddow, the great ‘journalist’, the Rhodes scholar. But she doesn’t know when hosts on her own channel are raising money for the Democratic party? The reason is simple: Maddow didn’t do any research. Her idea of journalism is to lift her facts straight from Media Matters, a partisan, agenda-driven website. Since Media Matters didn’t tell her about Schultz’s fundraising, Rip ‘n’ Read Rachel didn’t know about it.

    ding ding ding. It’s the only explanation for her idiocy. I can’t believe anyone thinks she has any credibility.

  3. The fuck?? Video FAIL!!

  4. You should see the huge parsnips I harvested Sunday morning.

    TMI lauraw.

  5. Ah, now it works. That idiot needs to learn to read.

  6. Layra what’s a parsnip?

  7. Somebody better get off their ass and get this Hobbit Hole squared away!

  8. Thanks Car In. It’s fun to see dumb people hoisted on their own retard petard.

    Also, post update.

  9. >>Somebody better get off their ass and get this Hobbit Hole squared away!

    Right after second breakfast.

  10. I clicked on of Johnny Dollar’s links and found this gem:

    Oh, and by the way, listen to her faux high rhetoric, “Let this incident lay to rest….” It’s like she and O’Donnell think they are writing the Gettysburg Address instead of hosting cable TV shows viewed by minuscule audiences compared to those watching Fox News. Let’s call it the rhetoric of false self-importance. Really, in all the seminars I had to take to earn a Ph.D. I never heard one person talk the ridiculous hotdog way O’Donnell and Maddow do on these videos — and a lot of the folks in those seminar rooms were pretty smart. This isn’t about intelligence. It’s about posturing on TV.</blockquote

    baa haa haaa .

  11. Rosetta – Your update is teh funneh!

  12. I want to know why I am the ONLY ONE who “liked” this poat???

  13. Aggie – Shut up. Nobody “likes” Rosetta’s poats. It’s like a rule or something.

  14. Snowshoe, it’s a white carrot that is very sweet and has a little different herbal flavor to it. A little like fennel, I guess.

  15. Aggie – Shut up

    *gives MCPO a hug*

  16. Reposted from old poat, now that MCPO is here

    MCPO?
    http://tinyurl.com/32mpwyw

  17. I just thumbs downed the poat to balance out Aggie’s indiscretion.

  18. Think she’ll believe that bullshit, lauraw?

    sohos, dear, a parsnip is a vegatable that pompus chefs use to try and make their lame dishes seem exotic. See also kale.

  19. Roamy – That kid needs more tattoos!!

    HAHAHAHAHAHA!

  20. OK, I really need to get to work. Once I get to the laundry portion of my day, I’ll be back.

  21. sohos, dear, a parsnip is a vegatable that pompus chefs use to try and make their lame dishes seem exotic. See also kale.

    Arugula.

  22. I need to get to work, too. Dammit.

  23. I need to get to work too.

    [yells at kids to move faster at their home school work]

    Whew. I’m tired. I need a break now.

    So, joke thread?

  24. Please don’t inflict Rachel Madcow on us on Monday morning.

    Matter of fact, don’t inflict Rachel Madcow on us evar..

  25. Arugula.

    Agreed.

    Now get to work. Those kids aren’t going to finish their school work without a “motivational” threats. Do you have a bullwhip you can crack?

  26. Man-up Hotspur.

  27. Maddow. Just one letter removed from mad cow.

    Coincidence?

    I think not.

  28. Kale is not exotic. It’s good pot greens. Peasant food like collards, but tastier.

    Agile dog, I’m sorry if you aren’t familiar with food that doesn’t come in sandwich form.

    *snorts haughtily and flounces off all elitist-like*

  29. What I like most about Maddow is her haughty elitism.

  30. We should be haughty elitists today.
    Everybody pick a haughty elitist you want to emulate!!1!! YAY!
    I’ll be John Edwards.

    *haughtily has an affair on my dying wife and knocks up some broad in an elitist fashion*

  31. What I like most about Rachel Maddow is her absence….

  32. *haughtily has an affair on my dying wife and knocks up some broad in an elitist fashion*

    Some guys around here would think that was rather hawt.

  33. OK, now I’m Michelle Obama.

    *shoves six double cheeseburgers down my elite throat while giving a slideshow on proper eating habits, haughtily*

  34. Laura, I think the guys are retching somewhere!

  35. http://bit.ly/9A40fH

    A good sex life helps prevent depression in men.

    http://bit.ly/3UNywG

  36. It’s a long one…

    Obama, his teleprompter and a secret service agent are in a car speeding across Highway 40 in Saudi Arabia. They have an important, secret business deal to conclude in Al Khubar, and have packed supplies for the long trip.

    About halfway across the desert, as the sun is baking down, the engine sputters, and gives out. They pull the car over, and for the first time, notice they are in the middle of nowhere. In order to make the meeting, and to increase their odds of survival, they decide to ditch the car and continue on foot. Obama doesn’t want to miss his chance to bow to a foreign dignitary.

    The group chats for a bit about the supplies they will have to shoulder. The teleprompter displays that water will certainly be necessary and assumes the heavy burden. The secret service agent decides to carry as much food as possible because they may have to spend a few nights in the desert.

    Obama steps in front of the car, clears his throat, and delivers this speech:

    “After careful consideration, I have noticed that the sun seems to rise in the East every morning. It also sets in the West. This appears to be a pattern, repeated everyday that heats the earth. At about the midpoint of the day, the sun is the hottest. Because I only wear dark suits, this creates a high body temperature, and produces sweat, which is unpleasant.”

    Obama checks his watch and says, “It is approaching the hot part of the day and I feel warmer than I did a few moments ago. Based on these findings, I have determined that I will remove one of the car doors and carry it with me. When my body temperature increases, I shall roll down the window, and be cooled from the breeze.”

  37. MJ, that’s a nice take-off on an old Aggie joke 😀

  38. We should be haughty elitists today.
    Everybody pick a haughty elitist you want to emulate!!1!! YAY!

    I’ll be John “French-looking” Kerry.

    * spends John Heinz’s widow’s money on a New Zealand-built yacht *

    * Berths said yacht in Rhode Island to avoid Massachusetts taxes *

    * Takes to the Senate floor to decry eeeviilll U.S. corporations outsourcing jobs *

    * Rails against the rich not paying their “fair share” *

  39. We should be haughty elitists today.
    Everybody pick a haughty elitist you want to emulate!!1!! YAY!

    Can I pick Drew M?

  40. I pick Allahpundit. Fuck him.

  41. “How dare you criticize me?!? Don’t you recall my 2003 photoshops?”

  42. MJ, that’s a nice take-off on an old Aggie joke
    ——————
    I use it as an ice breaker when I have to do presentations to the corporate people. The car is full of six sigma black belts (stats geeks–that was my old job) rather than pres, etc.

  43. I’ll be Dick Blumenthal:

    *Insists that I am a man of the people

    *wipes hands with sanitizer after shaking hands with those disgusting “people”

  44. Everybody pick a haughty elitist you want to emulate!!1!! YAY!

    I’ll choose my own shtick:

    “OMFG, I have to get a JOB!! How unfair is that?”

    “Daddy, when is the next all-expenses paid luxury vacation going to be?”

  45. I just fired my “Employee” this morning..

    I am looking.. Anybody want to be a cat (st)wrangler?

  46. Lipstick is Lisa MurCokeski??

  47. Lpstick is Lisa MurCokeski??

    I’m far better looking than that trash.

    *flips hair, puts nose in air*

  48. Kale is not exotic. It’s good pot greens.

    We buy kale. We grind it up with the veggies that we do eat but have gone past prime, and feed it to our dogs. A check-out counter girl asked me the other day: “How do you cook and eat this stuff?” I told her: “I don’t know – I’m buying it for my dogs.” She looked at me kinda funny (more so that usual).

    We do the same thing with pumpkins this time of year.

  49. […] Thanks to Roamy. […]

  50. Is it considered impolite to pop an ass boil in a public facility?

    Signed,

    Concerned in Kansas

  51. OMG. My dad is cooking already.

    He makes epic messes in there.

    Sigh.

    I JUST cleaned the kitchen.

    [I’m channeling xbrad here]

  52. A good any sex life helps prevent depression in men.

  53. Now I’m Peggy Noonan:

    “Oops..”

  54. Morning, you asstastic back of IgMo’s.

  55. Man-up Hotspur.

    😦

  56. *shoves six double cheeseburgers down my elite throat while giving a slideshow on proper eating habits, haughtily*

    … while spreading my double wide ass out on two extremely sturdy oversized chairs.

  57. I made some sort of kale recipe a while back. I can’t remember how it went over with the family ….

  58. We should be haughty elitists today

    Andy picked Kerry before I could. And I am NOT gonna do Barney Frank (there are lows that even I won’t stoop to). And I can’t think of any other Mass. pols that “popular” outside our state and have the prerequisite attitude.

  59. Car in. I feel your pain. I had JUST cleaned the counters yesterday when dear old mom decided to slice up a honeydew. On the counter. With no cuttingboard. And do a piss poor job of wiping it down afterwards.

  60. For an elitist, I like Ariana Huffington. Read with Zsa-Zsa Gabor accent:

    “Sarah Palin is inconsequential to American politics She has a leezard brain.”

    ****asks editor at HP to put up article with headline, “Sarah Palin is the Devil” to produce 100,000 comments.

    “The evil corporations are screwing the country”

    ****asks Operations Manager at HP what their current revenue stream looks like.

  61. Good morning, Brad. Didn’t sleep long today?

  62. I’m Obama.

    “At some point, you’ve made enough money. We’ve got to spread the wealth around. White Folks greed drives a world in Need.”

    Hops in jet to fly to Hawaii for 10 days to stay in a 7 million dollar estate.

  63. MJ, it’s a great joke, and sure to break icebergs 🙂

  64. I’ll be Keith Olbermann.

    Make me abide by employment rules that everyone else has to follow? I think not, Sir!

    http://tinyurl.com/yadgsn3

  65. Car in. I feel your pain. I had JUST cleaned the counters yesterday when dear old mom decided to slice up a honeydew. O

    sigh.

    My dad is a big fan of using a million bowls and sorta staging everything before he starts cooking.

    And he’s in there forever.

  66. Aggie, I feel like shit. I was up till 2am laughing my ass off at the joke threads, and woke up a bit ago feeling like I drank all the whiskey in the bar. Which sux because I didn’t drink last night.

    The air here is dry as a bone. I’m totally dehydrated.

    As we used to say in the Army, “My pussy hurts.”

  67. My dad is a big fan of using a million bowls and sorta staging everything before he starts cooking.
    ———————
    This is exactly how Mrs MJ bakes. She always cleans up, but I end up having to put away all of the dishes. Its a fair trade for cupcakes.

  68. As we used to say in the Army, “My pussy hurts.”

    Perhaps rubbing it will make it feel better?

    *runs away laughing*

  69. Charles Blow:

    Everyone is a racist except for me and my friends even though we’re the only ones that ever bring up race.

  70. As we used to say in the Army, “My pussy hurts.”

    Kicking Sox again, are you?

  71. Now I’m Barack Obama

    “We can’t drive our SUVs and eat as much as we want and keep our homes on 72 degrees at all times, and then just expect that other countries are going to say OK. That’s not leadership. That’s not going to happen.”

    *Flies Bo out to Martha’s Vineyard for vacation.

  72. Oh sorry, forgot to add this to that link:

    BWAAAA HA HA HAAAA HA HAAA HAAAA *GASP*

    HAA HA HA HA HA HA HAHAHAHAHAHAHAAAAAAA

    *PANT, WHEEZE*

    HAAA HA HA HAAAAAA

  73. http://pajamasmedia.com/blog/if-al-gores-chicago-climate-exchange-suffers-total-failure-does-the-msm-make-a-sound/

    Best part about that story is that the only people who lost money are the fucking idiots who really believed that trading carbon credits was going to ix Global Warming.

    Unfortunately, it made Al Gore rich.

  74. I’m Obama, and it really is all about me:

    http://tinyurl.com/2gyoaxx

  75. I’m Obama, and it really is all about me:

    mind-boggling.

  76. NEWS: A 6 year old boy was found wondering the streets at 2 this morning. The police were called to take him home. The boy started crying saying his parents beat him and he didn’t want to go back. CPS was called. They asked the boy if he had any other relatives he could stay with. He replied no, but that he would like to live with the Seahawks. When asked why, he simply replied – Because they don’t beat anyone….

  77. OMG!!!! Do you know what I just realized?

    We have Jerry Brown for governor.

    He’s gonna ban the grocery bag. .

    What the hell am I supposed to do with my kitty litter?

    It’s all over, folks. We’re boned

  78. Hayes gets Death Penalty. Sweet.

  79. http://pajamasmedia.com/blog/if-al-gores-chicago-climate-exchange-suffers-total-failure-does-the-msm-make-a-sound/

    I was looking to buy a Dell and when you’re going through the check out online, it offers to let you buy “carbon offsets”. What freaking bullshit.

  80. Hayes gets Death Penalty. Sweet.

    Good. What a nasty piece of shite. I didn’t follow the trial closely, did it ever say whether the guys were on meth when they committed that crime?

  81. Who is Hayes?

    ******************************

    Also:

    http://www.wlsam.com/Article.asp?id=2011666&spid=

  82. hayes?

  83. google is your friend b-rad

  84. google is your friend DiT

    actually, since Dave is my boss, I have to be nice to him.

    He’s one of the guys who slaughtered that poor family in CT

  85. And Dave, I expect to be hired in at $10 an hour. I know, I know, that’s $2 more than minimum wage, but I’m worth it.

  86. Google hates my ass. Ever since I fucked Google’s little sister in the kiester and bragged about it at school the next day, he’s tried to get even.

  87. Ok, I just ate a salad and then a low-carb yorgurt. What can I eat next?

  88. Foreign policy WIN!

    http://tinyurl.com/24u33qh

  89. I’m having coffee and chocolate chip cookies for breakfast.

  90. OH that POS. Sorry, I forgetted about that trial winding down.

    Good. I didn’t even know CT had a death penalty.

    ten bucks an hour? what, you gonna be a VP?

  91. Shit, maybe we should have Gibbs handling things with Iran?

  92. I’m having coffee and chocolate chip cookies for breakfast.

    I like peanut butter cookies with coffee, but that’s me.

    Lunchtime is my worst time of the day. I could eat an eat and eat.

  93. What can I eat next?

    A bagel with cream cheese, 2 slices of pizza, some Lay’s potatoes chips and a Coke.

  94. Brad, how convenient that the IL paperwork takes a month to prepare. That’s such bullshit.

  95. Peanut butter cookies would be fine, Car in. If I had any.

  96. ten bucks an hour? what, you gonna be a VP?

    Is that going to be a problem?

  97. A bagel with cream cheese, 2 slices of pizza, some Lay’s potatoes chips and a Coke.

    Can I walk around with my pants unbuttoned afterward?

  98. Can I walk around with my pants unbuttoned afterward?

    I’d think you’d have to.

    Now what about my grocery bags? Why isn’t anyone worried about me?

  99. wiser: as a resident of a state that is very execution-y, behind only TX and FL (IIRC), part of me is glad that that fuck waste will get the needle. But then, part of me wants to see assholes like that sent to “General” for the rest of his life and razorfucked in the shower forever.

  100. Now what about my grocery bags? Why isn’t anyone worried about me?

    That’s just a travesty. I’ll send you a steady supply.

  101. I’m worried about the bags as well, PJ.

    Car in, just take your pants off.

  102. Now what about my grocery bags? Why isn’t anyone worried about me?

    Look on the bright side. California is due for “the Big One” right?

  103. Thanks guys.

    I think I just got a hook up. My sister works at a certain grocery store. She’s gonna start lifting them from the store and we’re going to sell them on the black market. I think I’m going to be ok.

  104. Good. I didn’t even know CT had a death penalty.

    But then, part of me wants to see assholes like that sent to “General” for the rest of his life and razorfucked in the shower forever.

    CT hasn’t killed anyone since the 60s. Sadly, it’s gonna be a long time before Hayes gets zapped. They ought to just bring him down to the basement of the courthouse and put one in his head this afternoon.

    But they won’t. So Eddie will probably get his wish.

    Best thing that can happen to him, in my opinion, is that he offs himself tonight. Problem solved.

  105. >> Is that going to be a problem?

    Yeah. We’re negotiatin now though, so don’t take it personally

  106. Now what about my grocery bags? Why isn’t anyone worried about me?

    I remember when the plastic bags were touted as good for the environment because paper bags kill trees.

  107. Wiser, Michael Ross.

  108. Yeah. We’re negotiatin now though, so don’t take it personally

    Fine $9.75. That’s my final offer.

  109. I remember when the plastic bags were touted as good for the environment because paper bags kill trees.

    Hah, I remember that too. I also remember being bummed because I liked having the brown paper bags for crafts, but then I got over it.

    Thing is, they wanted to ban the plastic bags and then charge you a nickel for every paper bag you used.

  110. wiser: my brother tells me that, as a cop in the City of STL, he and many of his cohorts wish more assholes would save the City and the State the money and just try to take on the cops. Cheaper and a hell of a lot less lawyer-y.

  111. Eeeeww, just googled Michael Ross, executed in 2005. He was a sick bastard.

  112. Dave, just make sure she knows goats aren’t allowed in the office.

  113. Wiser, Michael Ross.

    Sorry, my bad.

    One guy, since 1960.

  114. Dave, just make sure she knows goats aren’t allowed in the office.

    HEY!! I hadn’t even gotten to that part! Why you gotta reveal my cards?

  115. Thing is, they wanted to ban the plastic bags and then charge you a nickel for every paper bag you used.

    Yeah, they do that in Germany. ten eurocent per bag, and you have to dispose of it correctly, or you get fined.

  116. Because I hate you, PJ.

  117. NO GOATS

  118. The plastic bag ban is pure rentseeking behavior. The stores want to have the ban passed to they can generate a revenue stream from paper bag sales. Wanna bet they’ll start double bagging a single loaf of bread?

  119. good gawd, check out Richard Wiggler

    http://intensedebate.com/people/Dick_Wiggler

  120. What about chickens?

  121. NO GOATS

    Wow, just wow.

    Welp, you’re right carin. He didn’t say anything about chickens. SUWEET!!

  122. >>Eeeeww, just googled Michael Ross, executed in 2005. He was a sick bastard.

    According to his Wikipedia entry he studied agriculture at Cornell. Just sayin’.

  123. I’m so proud. From Ace’s sidebar:

    Obama will make history for more than one reason during the Nov 6-9 visit. This will be the first time a teleprompter will be used in the nearly 100-feet high dome-shaped hall that has portraits of eminent national leaders adorning its walls.

    *****

    “We thought Obama is a trained orator and skilled in the art of mass address with his continuous eye contact,” an official, who did not wish to be identified because of security restrictions, said.

    Well, look pal, people thought a LOT of things about Obama that turned out to be bullshit.

    You want a refund? Get in line.

  124. More:

    “Thank god they won’t eat anything or have tea or coffee from our canteen. We would have to go through a tough security drill otherwise,” quipped an employee.

    WHAT? Don’t the Obama’s have royal tasters?

    the shame.

  125. I read where they tried to gloss over the fact that he had teleprompters in India by saying it was necessary for him in order to pronounce Hindi words correctly.

  126. New Load HEAT is up, and she’s a classic.

    http://xbradtc.wordpress.com/2010/11/08/load-heat-108/

  127. Time for lunch!

  128. According to his Wikipedia entry he studied agriculture at Cornell. Just sayin’.

    BWAAAAAAAAAHAHAHAHAHA!!!!!!!

  129. I read where they tried to gloss over the fact that he had teleprompters in India by saying it was necessary for him in order to pronounce Hindi words correctly.

    Well, he pretty much kept fucking up Hindi pronunciation, so that’s a myth.

  130. The Cornell thing is over my head. I’m so ashamed

  131. The Cornell thing is over my head. I’m so ashamed

    Keith Olbermann attended 😉

  132. spanks aggie

  133. I hate to say this here, but Drew M has a good post up at Ace’s:

    http://ace.mu.nu/archives/307994.php

  134. I hate to say this here, but Drew M has a good post up at Ace’s:

    Yeah, like I’m gonna click that link! /sarc Do you really want me to go over there and start commenting again?

  135. Whatcha havin’ for lunch MCPO?

  136. Spanks Aggie

    Woohoo!

    http://tinyurl.com/26f32fa

  137. MCPO, sorry, thought you were at lunch.

    It’s a good post, but I’m not gonna wade into the comments.

  138. PJM – low-fat cheese and turkey in a whole wheat wrap along with a small glass of apple cider.

  139. Damn, Brad…none of my corsets look like that.

  140. You wanna read something good? Read this: http://tinyurl.com/286o463

    DrewM thinks Senator DeMint is a n idiot and should have listened to him!

  141. Aggie, I think we need lots of Corset Friday pics from you to judge that.

  142. Cornell A&M

  143. Aggie, I think we need lots of Corset Friday pics from you to judge that.

    Let me guess… I have to e-mail them to you for final approval??

  144. HAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!!

    http://twitter.com/weakerpelosi

  145. For once, Aggie, I’mma say no. I think AG at H&B might wanna look, but the important thing is that CF continues, somewhere.

  146. PJM – low-fat cheese and turkey in a whole wheat wrap along with a small glass of apple cider.

    OMG! That’s old people’s food. Did you have to put in in the processor before you ate it?

  147. PJM – I started at 255 lbs. I weighed 231 this morning.

  148. I ended up eating TWO chocolate chip cookies.

    I’m so ashamed.

  149. Good job, MCPO.

  150. PJM – I started at 255 lbs. I weighed 231 this morning.

    Excellent. What’s the goal weight?

  151. As much as I agree that CF should go on, I don’t think I can quite fill the void, Brad!

  152. Eleven pounds more to go!

  153. Wow, you’re almost there!

    I wish I could get down to 125, but I just don’t think I’m ever supposed to.

  154. PJM – I started at 255 lbs. I weighed 231 this morning.

    So you’re saying I should blend my food?

  155. LMAO, Dick!

  156. How tall are you carin?

    I would look sickly at 125. I’m 5’4″

  157. Well, Aggie, Skylia has a good collection. I’m sure there’s a couple others. You need to recruit a roster of wimmens and rotate.

  158. PJM – No. I’m saying you should STFU about my lunch before I drive out there just to give you noogies in front of your kids.

  159. Hm….maybe I will ask her, Brad.

  160. PJM – No. I’m saying you should STFU about my lunch before I drive out there just to give you noogies in front of your kids.

    YAY!! Garren’s birthday in on Saturday. You’ll be here just in time for cake. No wait, even better, Graham is marching in the Veteran’s Day parade. Come watch!!

  161. PJM – Did you get Glargarvin’s chevrons fixed?

  162. Well, it was only 1 uniform that I screwed up on…um, but no, I haven’t fixed that one. I can’t seem to find the peddle for my sewing machine. S’really weird.

  163. You know what Rachel Maddow needs? A meaty schlong attached to a man.

  164. You know what Rachel Maddow needs? A meaty schlong attached to a man.

    She doesn’t bat from that side of the plate.

  165. I would look sickly at 125. I’m 5’4

    No you wouldn’t. That is my goal if I am able to give up the low salt Lays.

  166. You know what Rachel Maddow needs? A meaty schlong attached to a man.

    RAWR!!!

    hey beasn, did you ever get your Thanksgiving schedule changed.

    Ugh, I want to study, but my books haven’t arrived yet. Totally annoying.

  167. Gee, I’m at 125 lbs and 5′ 2″, and think I need to lose some ass.

  168. Excellent analogy.

    http://tinyurl.com/2ej99gg

  169. No you wouldn’t. That is my goal if I am able to give up the low salt Lays.

    I promise I would. My clavicle and ribs stick out at 135.

  170. This is me at 172 beasn. Please note the front of my pants are baggy because I’d lost weight and hadn’t bought new clothes.

    http://www.flickr.com/photos/23138734@N02/4427335759/

  171. Excellent analogy.

    http://tinyurl.com/2ej99gg

    Shut up! You don’t even know what you’re talking about.

  172. Hahahahahaha. Hilarious Treacher today.

    http://tinyurl.com/27dd963

  173. Who’s gonna make that sacrifice? Xbad?

    Not me. I’ve got a tiny little dick.

  174. pjm, I’ve seen pictures. You do NOT have to lose weight. You look lovely the way you are.

    And no, we haven’t resolved the Thanksgiving thing. Hopefully my immediate boss will be able to talk to our next boss up tomorrow.

  175. Did you get new glasses, pajama poonanny?

    http://tinyurl.com/25v4awy

  176. And no, we haven’t resolved the Thanksgiving thing. Hopefully my immediate boss will be able to talk to our next boss up tomorrow.

    Sucks to be a good worker doesn’t it?
    Not that I’d know or anything. I live vicariously through PJD.

  177. >>This is me at 172 beasn.

    Ah hell. That was still baby weight. Even someone as crass as I am knows you don’t count baby weight into the “chubby chick” equation. That would be unseemly.

    *For once, hopes wife is reading blog*

  178. doesn’t bat from that side of the plate.

    Duh…that’s cause she hasn’t had ‘one’. Faux willies can not be anything like the real thing….can they, dick?

  179. Oh, and you don’t look chubby there, BTW.

  180. “Olbermann’s gratitude will surely extend to Kristol’s fellow evilmongers like Hugh Hewitt, Greg Gutfeld, and our own Mary Katharine Ham, all of whom called for MSNBC to put Keith back in his high chair and let him bang his spoon on the tray.”

    Read more: http://dailycaller.com/2010/11/08/our-long-national-nightmare-is-over-olbermann-to-return-tomorrow/#ixzz14iUzaF9v

    Now that’s funneh! Good Treacher!

  181. Did you get new glasses, pajama poonanny?

    OH MY HECK!!

    please leave me alone. I’m reading about the demise of my state.

  182. Aggie, sounds like you’re closing in on ‘spinner’ status.

    On what now??

  183. That’s a great pic of you PJ, but this one is my favorite from the photostream:

    http://tinyurl.com/yzo7mnc

  184. I think the counties of Riverside, Orange and San Diego should secede from the rest of the state. Maybe become part of Arizona.

  185. This is me at 172 beasn.

    You camouflage it well. Must be the large head. My head is so big and my arms teeny, that I can get away with carrying extra weight…though I’m now pushing it.

    You look great, so quit thinking about messing with God’s art.

  186. hahaha, my whole point to posting that photo was that I would look sickly at 125.

    I’m big boned, right rosetta? Rosetta is a big boned girl.

  187. HAHAHAHAHA! That girl’s voice is almost as half annoying as PJM’s laugh!

  188. And you’ll have to ask your hubby what a ‘spinner’ is.

    Damnit, I hate being so damn naive.

  189. PJ gives a pretty good squishy hug. Just sayin’

  190. *For once, hopes wife is reading blog*

    hahahahaha

  191. Did I say annoying?? Sorry, I didn’t mean that. I meant painful.

  192. btw suckers, don’t think you’ll get out of bailing California out. You will do it and you will like it.

  193. After seeing you at 172, don’t go near 125, pj.

  194. I’m 5 foot, 2 and one half inches.

    As for comparing different bodes at different weights – it’s really fruitless. Depending on how much muscle mass you carry … it’s like apples and oranges.

  195. btw suckers, don’t think you’ll get out of bailing California out. You will do it and you will like it.

    YOU’RE NOT MY REAL SLACKER SISTER!!!!

  196. HAHAHAHAHA! That girl’s voice is almost as half annoying as PJM’s laugh!

    *brays like a donkey

    You’re really freaking funny, you know that?

  197. btw suckers, don’t think you’ll get out of bailing California out. You will do it and you will like

    No we won’t, Peej. Your best option is to move.

    Honestly, CA elected or relected Brown and Pelosi and Boxer and all the turds who created this mess.

    Fuck that.

  198. I’m a smidge off 5 foot 5. I have a small boned frame. In shape, I’m between a skinny and a muscley.

  199. No we won’t, Peej.

    Yes huh.

  200. K…lunch over. Back to the asylum.

  201. Peej – Want to save Cali? Get rid of 98% of this shit: http://tinyurl.com/22razsu and maybe you guys wouldn’t have to borrow money to pay next week’s unemployment benefits.

  202. 5000 points Laura for the elitist deal. That was good!

    Use your points on parsnips, booze, and dog treats.

  203. Yay! Time for a dental appointment!!

    See y’all in a bit!

  204. This is the tenth anniversary of my first date with HotBride, only she was just HotChick back then.

  205. I have just started to develop a cackle sometimes when I laugh. Why does that happen? And how do I prevent that?

    (Skip the frying pan to the face or shock therapy answer.)

  206. I have just started to develop a cackle sometimes when I laugh. Why does that happen? And how do I prevent that?

    I’m not sure I know what that really sounds like. Do you have a wav file I could I could listen to?

  207. “btw suckers, don’t think you’ll get out of bailing California out. You will do it and you will like it.”

    That might create some serious crazy.

  208. Hunting Season!

    Oh.

    http://tinyurl.com/285qxcx

  209. Peej – Want to save Cali? Get rid of 98% of this shit:

    I can’t.

    *sigh

  210. I have just started to develop a cackle sometimes when I laugh. Why does that happen? And how do I prevent that?

    Have you thought about chopping your head off and setting it on fire and then throwing it out of an airplane and into the ocean where a giant shark will rip it to shreds which will then be consumed by dozens of piranha?

    Try that and report back.

  211. Frankly I think California should rot in hell.

    but that’s just me.

    So sad.

  212. If they can get a referendum of legalizing pot, surely you could get one on the ballot that gets rid of every paid position on every commission in the state?!!

  213. “Have you thought about chopping your head off and setting it on fire and then throwing it out of an airplane and into the ocean where a giant shark will rip it to shreds which will then be consumed by dozens of piranha?”

    No.

    Carin, I don’t have a recording yet.

  214. Have you thought about chopping your head off and setting it on fire and then throwing it out of an airplane and into the ocean where a giant shark will rip it to shreds which will then be consumed by dozens of piranha?

    Not in that order.

  215. Rosetta, check your email NOW dammit.

  216. >> I have just started to develop a cackle sometimes when I laugh. Why does that happen?

    I don’t know why it happens, but the end-stage is pretty rough: http://bit.ly/bZb2nG

  217. Rosetta has always been such a pragmatist

  218. I think you should work on a Lily Tomlin phone lady laugh.

  219. wrestling season has begun again. Gonna be so, so busy.

  220. Mare, go shopping for a new laugh. Find one you like, ask for a test drive.

  221. What weight class are you in, PJ?

  222. I have just started to develop a cackle sometimes when I laugh. …… And how do I prevent that?

    Only read xbrad’s comments.

  223. Too cool. Just had a hummingbird come up to say hi, so I held my hand out and he landed for just a moment.

  224. What weight class are you in, PJ?

    You’re a hoot.

  225. PJM!! Let go of Aggie!!!

    http://tinyurl.com/28qt7fu

  226. I understand that some of you here are experts on funemployment.

    I could use some advice.

  227. Too cool. Just had a hummingbird come up to say hi, so I held my hand out and he landed for just a moment.

    You LIE.

  228. Cackling?

    That’s better than snorting I guess.

  229. Sorry MCPO, no can do. She didn’t send the grocery bags as promised.

  230. Car in, my dad’s fried Frank, who lives a few miles away, has them trained to come visit him and land on his hand. He’s got hundreds of pics of it. First time for me, and I didn’t have a camera handy.

  231. I understand that some of you here are experts on funemployment.

    I could use some advice.

    I think the best way to get on funemployment is to look at a lot of porn at work and do beer bongs during meetings.

  232. Mr. In Texas,

    Might you be able to travel to Dallas this afternoon for an interview with my old boss?

  233. Your dad has a fried Frank?

  234. Ha ha ha haa
    This past Summer, a hummingbird in my yard made a brief charge right at Wiserbud’s face. It was cute as all Hell.

  235. Car in, my dad’s fried Frank, who lives a few miles away, has them trained to come visit him and land on his hand. He’s got hundreds of pics of it.

    The hummingbirds around here are very aggressive. They’ll charge at you if you’re outside when they’re trying to get their goodies.

  236. Friend.

    Shit.

    Lips, don’t make me say mean things about Boris and his hairball.

  237. I understand that some of you here are experts on funemployment.

    I could use some advice.

    I almost fell for that.

  238. It was cute as all Hell.

    now that you know it’s trainable, try to get it to take jewelry

  239. >> Might you be able to travel to Dallas this afternoon for an interview with my old boss?

    There’s no way I could work for that jackass.

    But there might be 8 millions ways.

  240. I understand that some of you here are experts on funemployment.
    —————–

    You could always hang out at the arcade to kill free time.

  241. Duh…that’s cause she hasn’t had ‘one’.

    Chief has a whole bag of them. Maybe he would loan her one.

  242. Your dad has a fried Frank?

    I’m sure she’s talking about her dad’s weiner.

    Carin, that’s just gross.

  243. Michael – Sorry, but I gave that away. . . one at a time.

  244. “Only read xbrad’s comments.”

    Excellent advice.

    Laura, I went to Fry’s and they said try Best Buy.

  245. That was lipstick. not me.

  246. Dick – Ritual seppuku on NFL Live or Sports Center would be even better!

  247. Lips, don’t make me say mean things about Boris and his hairball.

    He has a frank, but no nuts.

  248. Sockpuppeting Wade Phillips…..CACKLE!!

  249. If you hang in there until the end, the big O busts a move. I know I’m a racist or something for posting this.

    http://is.gd/gQjav

  250. Now, how do you get rid of Jerry Jones? His hiring of “yes” men and siding with players hasn’t worked out so well. And that jackass didn’t think Tim Tebow was good enough for his team…..HA!!!!

  251. Dick’s having a good day.

    Lips is flirting with disaster.

  252. If you hang in there until the end, the big O busts a move. I know I’m a racist or something for posting this.

    Wow, they’re so wonderful. The Obama’s are people of the world.

  253. “Official, Wade Phillips was just fired. Jason Garrett is the new head coach.”

    Shocking.

  254. Wow, they’re so wonderful. The Obama’s are people of the world.
    ———————–
    I’d rather have him fucking around than trying to accomplish something. Go ahead, play a little more golf, Mr President.

  255. I’m pretty sure Bloomberg’s gonna have to ban horseback riding now. It’s dangerous.

    http://www.cbsnews.com/stories/2010/11/08/national/main7034119.shtml?tag=topnews

  256. Good one, PJM.

  257. Heya H&Hs.

    I know I’m a little late to the partay, but isn’t “Rachel Maddow Fail” redundant?

  258. Official, Wade Phillips was just fired. Jason Garrett is the new head coach.”

    Wait, I’m available!

  259. howdy jakeman

    yes

    YAY PJD is here………time for a little dessert before lunch IYKWIMAITYD

  260. >> Official, Wade Phillips was just fired. Jason Garrett is the new head coach.

    Our long national nightmare is over.

  261. PJM, if you’re homeschooling, don’t forget to shut the door. No one needs that kind of an education.

  262. “Our long national nightmare is over.”

    hhahahahaha…so true

  263. I feel sorry for Wade. He was always kind of a wimp. It’s Jerry Jones who gets my scorn for hiring him.

  264. Crap. Can’t figure out how to forward a tweet. There’s an opening in Pheonix for a Marketing Manager for a electronic medical records company, and I want to send it to Wiser.

  265. Wait, I’m available!

    Me too!

  266. Retweet it, xbrad, and I’ll send it to him.

  267. I’m here without beer.

    Get used to it.

  268. Hey Peej, oh, WKWYM all right 🙂

    Mrs. Jakeman is a cheesehead, so she insisted we keep watching last night’s game, but I was watching the inside of my eyelids by the beginning of the 3rd Q.

  269. Weird, andy, it couldn’t retweet.

  270. Sorry, but I love it when the Crybois are in complete disarray!

  271. Well, it was jon at exurban league, who left that job for another:

    jon – at – exurbanleague – dot – com

  272. The genius of letting Sean Payton slip away to coach the Saints continues to shine through.

    But hey, that new stadium has some awesome artwork.

  273. Spent the better part of this day having the furnace repaired. Furnaces aren’t really optional in Michigan this time of year.

  274. “He’s simply too nice”

    hahahahaahah call it what you want. And I was tough in the 70’s too. That was 40 years ago.

  275. This one, I presume:

  276. Sean Payton = Lee Harvey Oswald

  277. Whoop, there it is. Andy, could you forward that to Wiser? Thanks.

  278. Bo
    Ring

    Make some fun, you guys.

    Hurry up.

  279. Jazz – Is it difficult to walk around with your fist in Uranus?

  280. Which hostage immediately comes to mind?

    http://is.gd/gQnln

  281. Which one doesn’t?

  282. If it wasn’t for the Cowboys, I’d love Texas even more:

    http://tinyurl.com/2eco2jc

  283. Paul, were you in town this weekend?

  284. Jazz – Is it difficult to walk around with your fist in Uranus?

    Surprisingly, no. And it’s not even uncomfortable, and I notice no odor transferrence, either.

  285. No, couldn’t get away. Was hoping to come down this weekend, but it’s looking unlikely. I’ll keep you posted.

  286. How’re things out east, Chief? It’s warmer here in Michigan today than it was this weekend. It’s rather nice (if you have a working furnace).

  287. I was thinking you came out here and then ignored me.

    Like everyone else would.

  288. Jazz – It’s 52F, but the wind is out of the north at 16-24 mph. Quite chilly.

  289. ok done. What’d I miss?

  290. I feel sorry for Wade. He was always kind of a wimp.

    HUH? Aint none of the Phillips’ wimps. I may hate the Cowboys but Bum and Wade are good strong peeps in my book.

  291. Just me, Peej. Tremendously.

  292. Howdy, back from hell the dental appt.

  293. Just me, Peej. Tremendously.

    awwwwwwww

  294. I did miss Jazz tremendously.

  295. You still playing golf, Chief? I think my buds quit last week.

  296. I was thinking you came out here and then ignored me.

    Like everyone else would.

    Not me. I have you in my GPS. And plan to use it if ever I go out there.

  297. And I missed you, Peej. The world is better when Peej is in the house. 🙂

  298. What’d you get done aggie?

  299. Played yesterday and froze my ass off on the back nine. Good news; The round only lasted 2.5 hours. The bad news; I got seriously wind burnt. The even gooder news; I shot an 81.

  300. What’d you get done aggie?

    My dental appt. Found out I have an unfortunately-placed cavity, and they can’t see me again for another month. I need a mom right now.

  301. He handled his coaching in a VERY wimpy manner. How can you argue this? Lord, now you guys are defending him. He sucked. I was the one who said Jerry Jones is a dummy.

  302. How’s the weather up there jazz?

  303. Someone tell me how Phillips took commanding control of his team? If not, that’s wimpy.

  304. I need a mom right now.

    Sorry. I finally dried up. Anyone else available?

  305. The bad news; I got seriously wind burnt. The even gooder news; I shot an 81.

    I’m sensing some “motivation.” 🙂

  306. Sorry. I finally dried up. Anyone else available?

    HAHAHAHAHAHA!!!

    Goofball 😀

  307. I heard Phillips say today, “I don’t even know who we’re playing next week. I was focused on this week.” HUH? Your focus sucked. Challenging a touchdown call on a goalline stance on first down is stupid. IF they won the challenge GB would have had 3 more tries to go 6 inches on the worst defense in football. Not too smart.

  308. How was dessert, PJM?

  309. High, aggie. As you relate your dental nightmare, I sit here doing dental hygiene on my bridgework with these: http://tinyurl.com/2fzhc7e

    I love them. I just found them last week. They’re the greatest.

  310. I like to think Wade is diluted, mare. He isn’t Bum. He has some of his dad due to genetics, but that’s about it.

  311. oh that’s too funny Jazz. We use those in this household. Well, I can’t. My teeth seem to be too tight to stick anything in them, we have them here.

    We’re almost like twins

  312. Howdy, Jazz!

    Those look like they would certainly do the job. Would work on orthodontics, too. May get them for my son.

  313. Peej, weather is . . . Michigan-y. Everything’s brown and rust-colored now. It’s not a place for those weak in the optimism department. It’s 63 degrees, but that’s not going to last (maybe even past today). I was out driving some natural beauty roads this w/e, though, and the rural scenery is gorgeous.

    Anyone else hate football? Or am I alone in my spite?

  314. Winter is looooooong in Michigan. I couldn’t wait to leave. Lasted one winter.

  315. My teeth seem to be too tight to stick anything in them,

    The prodigious numbers of your progeny sort of give that away, Peej. 😛

  316. Jazz, I tell ya, it’s hard being optimistic right now in SoCal.

  317. Lasted one winter.

    Where, mare?

  318. We’re almost like twins

    If people just stared at our tits, they couldn’t tell us apart. 😛

  319. oh look, Jazz is a poet

  320. PJM, as regards to your lack of optimism, can things get any worse over in CA?

  321. PJM, as regards to your lack of optimism, can things get any worse over in CA?

    OMG WOMAN!! HAVE YOU NOT HEARD ME TODAY!!! THEY COULD BAN GROCERY BAGS!

    WHAT MORE DO YOU WANT?!?!?

  322. In Ypsilanti/Ann Arbor. I have NEVER hated a place or people more. Being around united auto workers was the worst. Not a friendly place. And I didn’t see one of my neighbors until spring thaw and unfortunately, I didn’t miss much.

  323. Those look like they would certainly do the job. Would work on orthodontics, too. May get them for my son.

    My gums feel soooooooo nice. They’re really great.

    *flashes toothy smile*

  324. PJM, I hate to say this, but I think it’s going to get A LOT weirder in CA in the next couple of years.

  325. oh look, Jazz is a poet

    If you ask nicely, maybe I’ll prove that I’m a Longfellow.

    Heh.

    /I make me laugh 😀

  326. I do too.

    My dad asked me to bring the rest of PJD’s guns home from Utah when we visit during Thanksgiving, but I’d rather just relocate to Texas.

    My family has been stocking up on food like crazy.

    Well, if the Zombie apocalypse happens, I think I’ll be set.

    double tap

  327. If you ask nicely, maybe I’ll prove that I’m a Longfellow.

    If I ask nicely, will you prove it to all the Hostage wimmins.

  328. “double tap”

    hahahahahahaha……peanut butter lasts doesn’t it?

  329. Mrs Jakeman got braces earlier this year and swears by those things. (And I will be very glad when she gets the damn metal out of her mouth, IYKWIM.)

    And so, the conversion of the Hostages into a Dental Blog is complete…

  330. Being around united auto workers was the worst.

    I fucking hate unions and the people that support them.

    In Ypsilanti/Ann Arbor. I have NEVER hated a place or people more.

    Too bad you missed the Detroit experience. AA pales in comparison. Wholesale, unmitigated, brazen Democrat corruption. It’s breathtaking, like seeing the world’s largest broken septic tank.

  331. (And I will be very glad when she gets the damn metal out of her mouth, IYKWIM.)

    Nope. No clue. Please explain.

  332. If you guys don’t use a Sonic care toothbrush you don’t know what having a love affair with your toothbrush is all about. Also, don’t bother lying to your hygenist about flossing, they always know.

  333. >>The bad news; I got seriously wind burnt. The even gooder news; I shot an 81

    You can never shoot a good round until you’ve played all summer, then it gets too cold, and by next spring you suck again. Last year on #1 on my first round of the year, I had a 15 footer for birdie. “This may be a good year”, I thought. I four putted it. I don’t think I hit another green in reg until August.

  334. If I ask nicely, will you prove it to all the Hostage wimmins.

    Only if someone subscribes to my website for $9.99/mo. But you’ll get videos of me writing poetry about fixing the TV, fixing the pluming, fixing the electricity, fixing the car, and mowing the lawn, too.

  335. Also, don’t bother lying to your hygenist about flossing, they always know.

    especially when you bleed like a stuck pig all over their hands when they floss you

  336. Mrs Jakeman got braces earlier this year and swears by those things.

    Braces are sexy on women.

  337. I really need to get this cat’s nuts cut. He gets really aggressive if I’m not petting him at the correct speed.

  338. Peej, we’ve been married for 17 years, so the honest truth is I’m just tired of her bitching about ’em. I WISH I had another issue, heh.

    Currently, I’m the only member of my household that DOESN’T have braces. It’s been an expensive 2 yrs.

  339. Also, don’t bother lying to your hygenist about flossing, they always know.

    I floss regularly, but my bridgework give me fits.

  340. OMG WOMAN!! HAVE YOU NOT HEARD ME TODAY!!! THEY COULD BAN GROCERY BAGS!

    WHAT MORE DO YOU WANT?!?!?

    HAHAHAHAHAHA!!! Good point 😀

  341. Peej, we’ve been married for 17 years, so the honest truth is I’m just tired of her bitching about ‘em

    HAHAHAHAHA!

    Well, just to make you feel rotten, I really did have “dessert” with pjd when he came home for lunch. Course I had to look all pitiful when he originally told me no.

    But, to make you feel smug. All 4 of my kids need braces. I’m currently trying to figure out how to come up with $500 to get Graham and Madeleine going and then $175 a month after that.

  342. If you guys don’t use a Sonic care toothbrush you don’t know what having a love affair with your toothbrush is all about.

    Is it really all that? I thought it waa just gimmicky.

  343. (And I will be very glad when she gets the damn metal out of her mouth, IYKWIM.)

    What do you mean, Jakeman?

  344. I think Sonic should hire mare.

  345. All 4 600 of my kids need braces.

    FIFY.

  346. What do you mean, Jakeman?

    hahaha, I already beat you to that one.

  347. Jazz – I have a Sonic and I love it!

  348. I did wonder too, PJM.

    You’ll notice he hasn’t answered, either 😉

  349. If you guys don’t use a Sonic care toothbrush you don’t know what having a love affair with your toothbrush is all about.

    I don’t think you are using it correctly…..

  350. Wiser – Get that job in Phoenix!!

  351. Jazz, my husband has one too and he likes it also. I haven’t done clinical research but now If I have to use a regular toothbrush (like when I’m traveling and it runs out of power becasue I forgot the charger) it doesn’t feel like a thorough cleaning.

  352. If Mare’s having a love affair with her toothbrush, maybe Mr. Mare isn’t all that she claims he is.

  353. Paulitics, since Dave won’t let me have goats in the office, will you hire me at your real estate office if I get these certifications?

    * Cisco Certified Network Associate (CCNA®)
    * Cisco Certified Network Associate (CCNA®) Security Certification
    * CIW Web Foundations Associate
    * CompTIA A+
    * CIW JavaScript Specialist
    * Microsoft Certified Technology Specialist: Windows 7, Configuration
    * CIW Web Design Specialist
    * CIW Database Design Specialist
    * CompTIA Project+
    * CompTIA Security+

    You look like a realtor in your picture.

  354. I am in a piss poor mood and jerry jones is a fuckface douchenozzle

  355. PJM, awesome. I am going to see if I can con Mrs Jakeman into that in the near future. The challenge is that I’m the one who works at home and she’s the corporate stooge, so she’s always a wee bit cranky when she comes home at lunch. But the Aunt Jemima treatment might be just the ticket.

    Mercifully, there are only 2 Jakespawn, and one of them will be out of braces before Christmas.

  356. I really need to get this cat’s nuts cut. He gets really aggressive if I’m not petting him at the correct speed.

    Well, it’s a sensitive part of the body.

  357. Hey wiser?!?! What’s this about a position in Phoenix?

    do tell

  358. HAHAHAHAHAH…I told my husband what you guys said about the toothbrush and he said, “sick.”

  359. Newer, stupider poat that moves faster.

  360. anyone want to pee on their phone?

    http://www.observer.com/2010/daily-transom/future-alert-std-test-theres-app

  361. I am in a piss poor mood and jerry jones is a fuckface douchenozzle

    I feel you you, honey!

    *gives sohos a squishy hug*

  362. Well, it’s a sensitive part of the body.

    HAHAHAHAHA!

    barf

  363. Peej,

    I’m not a realtor and that’s not the real me. That’s the big-boy edition of me, which I rarely employ, and usually only when trying to get an invoice paid.

    But send me your resume. I’ll send it to some IT guys I know.

  364. Hey, given today’s news, has Dave in Texas killed himself yet? If not, why not?

  365. All 4 of my kids need braces.

    My advice, (not that you asked for it) is to not have them put on too young. Got my first set in 4th grade and had to do it again in my 20s.


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