November Election Metaphors

As we’ve all said on many occasions, just winning isn’t enough. There are some examples I’ve been thinking of that pretty well illustrate what I want to do to the Dems this November.

Sports:

Carting these bastards off the field with merely a career-ending injury is the model of restraint.

Movies:

Lamentation of the women, indeed. Specifically Allen West’s “Gimme That Damned Gavel” Pelosi and Call Me Senator Boxer.

Feel free to suggest more.

174 Comments

  1. First, cause no one else is here.

  2. So I’m trying to decide if I want to take my laptop with me to Texas.

    Its heavy and old, and I don’t think I wanna.

  3. Insomnia is teh sux.

  4. Tell me about it.

  5. Ed Balls is back in the news.

    Still no word on whether or not he and Dick Pole have agreed to a meeting.

  6. Wakey wakey. P90X on 3 hrs sleep is gonna be a blast.

  7. feeding the feisty anorexic pig who woke me up at 1am wondering where his special treats were. He got water and a pile of hay, that he didn’t eat, instead.

  8. *wonders why in heck the family is still slumbering at this hour*

  9. *wonders if self should go jump on their beds and make them piss their pants or take a swing at me*

  10. Comment by xbradtc on September 29, 2010 10:26 pm

    I see where my cat has been sneaking in during the mornings.

    If someone sees him tomorrow, tell him I said “hi.”

    Oh, and quit sh**ting behind the safe couch.

    Well then just MOVE THE DANG LITTER BOX… Its NOT Rocket Science. And I don’t like where You-Know-Who moved the Clothes Hamper. Why do these Family Spats have to be so PUBLIC?

  11. *wonders if self should go jump on their beds and make them piss their pants or take a swing at me*

    Its Beasns Avatar, sure sounds like Miss Tat…..

  12. *turns on hose*

    *grips handle of sprayer thing behind back*

    Here kitty, kitty……

  13. Wakey wakey.

    Shut up, I’m not “late”

  14. Good morning, everyone.

  15. Can someone give me a clue about the Meat Locker password?

    Thank you in advance.

  16. Mare, I emailed it to you.

  17. Thank you, Roamy!

    I hope your pictures of you and the catman are there.

  18. Mare, I think the pw is what I did to your mom last night combined with a common seasoning. All one word and all caps IIRC.

  19. Mare, I don’t think so. Mr. RFH’s camera phone’s memory was full, and I haven’t seen the pics from catman yet.

  20. I got in. PD, you have to add an exclamation point.

    Roamy, I’m looking forward to seeing those.

  21. One of my favorite songs for you, then I need to haul my happy ass off to work.

    http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=pkFtl50kqYE

  22. Hey, Roamy is a country rock chick….cool.

  23. How was the PX90 PG? I want to get it for Count. Do you think it is worth it?

  24. P90X whatever its called

  25. dead already? I guess I will come back later after everyone WAKES THE FUCK UP

  26. Mornin’

    I love waking up in Texas.

  27. Mare, that’s “Texas Country”

  28. Sohos, I like it. I haven’t lost the weight doing it that I would’ve liked to, but that’s my fault. But I did 2 cycles of it from about Thangsgiving to Memorial day last year, laid around all summer and am now in the middle of a third cycle and here’s what I have to report: I’m 50 years old and can feel hard, toned, healthy feeling muscles underneath that layer of fat that I’m not mentally tough enough to shed right now. For the first time in 15 years I have veins protruding from my forearms and calves and up around my shoulders and neck. And that’s kind of exciting for a lifelong fat guy. I intend to do a 4th cycle starting about Nov 1. My advice would be to go for it, but depending on how much working out y’al have done recently, I’d ease into the first three weeks of the first cycle. I went whole hog into it when I started back after a summer of laziness and I was to sore to raise my arms high enough to eat there for a couple of days.

  29. Who put that hag up in place of my awesome Photoshop?

  30. Andy, where are you right now?

  31. I guess someone who’d rather look at a botoxed face than a blouse full of titties that fell out of their blouse. I blame one of the wimmmens.

  32. Happy birthday, Roamy!

  33. Romy! Check email!

  34. Oh Yeah! Happy Bday!

  35. Good Morning Sugarbritches!

    How are all you lovely people today?

    Scott’s brother is flying in for dinner tonight and we’re having some wet windy weather. Hope his flight gets in ok.

  36. Did you folks notice that Car in was late getting our wake-up call out?

    I blame Bush. Or Rosetta. Maybe Floyd…..

  37. safe travels for the brudder

  38. Good morning, lovely hump lady.

    Scottw linked pics of your two furry kids the other day. He said the blue one was the evil one – most ACD people I know say the reds are the spawn of the devil, not the blues. And that holds true in our house…..

  39. I love p90X. Totally worth it. Great workout.

    It is for your muscles, not for losing weight. Like all exercise.

    [broken record]

  40. Why am I awake? It’s raining, my tee-time is canceled and I ain’t going anywhere.

  41. I concur, AD. He just says that because the red one is HIS dog and the blue one is mine.

    His feisty little bitch is blind now, but she still knows how to find my dog’s face to bite him. And she never shuts up. She’s just very high-strung.

    Silent breed, my ass!

    My dog is more mellow.

  42. Good morning!

    Scott’s brother is flying in for dinner tonight and we’re having some wet windy weather.

    Better than wet windy trousers!

  43. Hola chupacabras. Siince we’re on the weather…it is rainy here as well.

  44. One dog, two dog,
    red dog, blue dog

  45. Grapevine

  46. Silent breed, my ass!

    Only if you’re deaf. Our three are some of the biggest barkers I know.

  47. Thanks PG. Yeah I want it for muscles, I have the losing weight thing down (steady losing two pounds a week), but I need to gain muscle I dont want saggy skin…

    HAPPY BIRTHDAY ROMY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! xoxoxoxox

  48. Count wants to do it so we are going to do it together IYKWISAITTYD

  49. Count wants to do it so we are going to do it together

    Doing it with someone else is so much better than doing it alone.

  50. Better than wet windy trousers!
    Doing it with someone else is so much better than doing it alone.
    ————————
    http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=1ytCEuuW2_A

  51. OMG IT’S RAINING
    OMG OMG

    DEATH RAAAAAAAIIIIIIIINNNNNNNN!!!

    *runs hysterically into the street*

    Wow, I love weather reports. Can hardly wait for the first snow.

  52. Mornin’ all! Just went and looked at the pics from the last meat-up so’s I’d know what to expect. I’m gonna hafta get by on my sparkling wit and questionable intellect this weekend, ‘cuz the other Hostagettes have me beat by a mile in the looks department – I’m built for comfort, not for speed…..

  53. who’s the chick runnin around in the rain out there?

  54. Happy Happy Birthday Roamy!!

    Off to see my kids in school presentations then get my taxes done (ugh; don’t ask).

    To all those arriving in Texas–be safe and have fun!

  55. West Fukasumi Titnipple High

  56. Count wants to do it so we are going to do it together IYKWISAITTYD

    Oh, if that’s what you’re after, I hear the exercise ball- questionably NSFW can’t be beat.

  57. who’s the chick runnin around in the rain out there?

    Ethel – is that you?!? Ethel put your clothes back on!!

  58. Your browser history must be quite eyebrow raising, Mrs. Car in.

  59. I invited my Dad over for clams the Sunday after next.
    His response:

    How can I refuse . Three requirements only BEER good Scotch and my no. 2 LORI

    Just wanted to share with all of you people that my father does not know how to spell my name.

  60. The father-daughter relationship is a spatial one.

  61. http://www.anorak.co.uk/260990/strange-but-true/the-worse-school-names-ever-presented-by-massacre-pre-school.html?pid=29384#img

    All right . . . . That headline pinged one of my pet peeves: The use of “worse” and “worst.”

    The Worse School Names Ever: Presented By Massacre Pre-School

    Worse is a comparative, used between a choice of two, e.g., Dry roast beef is worse than shoe leather.

    Worst is a superlative, used among a group of three or more, e.g., agiledog has the worst breath of all the Hostages.

    Questions? Look at Rule 5. I see this error ALL the time. At least three times a week, i’d say. It drives me batty.

    Of course, I’m the guy that regularly says “axe” when talking about an inquiry rather than “ask,” but at least I do it knowing that I’m butchering the language.

    /rant

  62. the sow and piglet relationship is a messy one.

  63. Worst is a superlative, used among a group of three or more, e.g., agiledog has the worst breath of all the Hostages.

    Hahahahaha

    Good one, you fucknut.

  64. I didn’t misspell “spatial”, that’s how we pronounce it.

  65. The Worse School Names Ever: Presented By Massacre Pre-School

    A long time ago, back when the day care “sex abuse” scandals were all the rage, I remember driving by a daycare center in central NJ and noticing their tagline: “We have the hots for your tots.”

    I thought to myself “Self, that’s a rather strange marketing strategy…”

  66. Hahahahaha

    Good one, you fucknut.
    It’s true. He has dog breath.

  67. So wiser, if wiser males do not make it to age 60, besides assassins or poison by wife, what usually knocks them off?

  68. Happy Birthday, Roamy! Hope it’s a wonderful day…..

  69. This is humorous – see if you can guess how these items are related

    http://conservativeshemale.wordpress.com/2010/09/30/exactly-how-are-these-items-related/

  70. what usually knocks them off?

    heart attacks.

    53 is about our standard starting point for fatal ones.

  71. 53 is about our standard starting point for fatal ones.

    Have you had yours checked out? If not, why not?

    Perhaps early intervention can get you to 65.

  72. >> 53 is about our standard starting point for fatal ones.

    There’s still time to add me to your will.

    But not much time, so don’t goof around.

  73. see if you can guess how these items are related

    Give me a hint.

  74. The old myocardial infarction, ehh?

    **said in best Cliff Clavin voice**

  75. Your browser history must be quite eyebrow raising, Mrs. Car in.

    Happyfeet from over at PW clued me into the multiple-uses of exercise balls.

    I just use mine for situps.

  76. what usually knocks them off?
    heart attacks.
    53 is about our standard starting point for fatal ones.

    Well, good thing you don’t smoke or drink and get plenty of exercise.

  77. Pictures from Romy and me yesterday.. http://tinyurl.com/2byzykc and Romy Mr.RFH and me.. http://tinyurl.com/2azog4n

  78. Great pics, catman and Romy!!!

    Catman, you look so professorial (in a conservative way). You three fit together so well – you belong with the smart people.

  79. agiledog has the worst breath of all the Hostages.

    You obviously have never meet Dolly or Sox…..

  80. Change up your dress a little bit and you could pass for a Civil War general, catman.

    Distinguished is what I mean. Old and distinguished.

  81. You obviously have never meet Dolly or Sox….

    I think they just bear the pervasive stench of xbrad’s nethers.

  82. I do believe Roamy is losing weight and hasn’t told us.

  83. So I’m leaving the house yesterday to go pick the girl up from school, and there is an open cat collar on our back porch. No blood, no tufts of fur, just a cat collar with a tag on it. The big white dog was back there, too, but there hadn’t been any commotion all afternoon, so I highly doubt that a puddy tat had been turned into a tasty hors d’oeuvre.

    So I call the number on the tag, and the owner gets back to me – seems their 16 pound Siamese housecat went outside one afternoon 2 weeks ago and hasn’t been seen since. The family lives about 3 blocks due west of us, so the kitty must have been walking our direction.

    Anyway, really weird. The collar is back with its rightful owner, at least…..

  84. ROAMY!!!! Happy Birthday, you crazy hot, smart rocket woman!!

    (Please note, no coma between crazy and hot.)

  85. Well, good thing you don’t smoke or drink and get plenty of exercise.

    *cough

    Yeah, I get checked out, but I don;t think it’s something they can check for. Just a genetic weakness.

  86. *cough

    Yeah, I get checked out,

    MOM! WISER’S CHECKING HIMSELF FOR HERNIAS AGAIN!!!! MAKE HIM STAY AWAY FROM THE WEBCAM!!1!1!

  87. What was that number Theresa? mwhaaha, mhwaaha…

  88. heh

    Catman

  89. They say that heart ATTACKS are “plumbing”-related; cardiac ARRESTS (a.k.a. “One and done”) are “electrically”-related. If there is a blockage, a doctor may be able to predict the riisk of a heart attack happening – there is currently no known way to predict a cardiac arrest. The two can happen together, of course, but a heart ATTACK by itself can oftentimes be survived. The same can usually not be said about a cardiac arrest, unfortunately.

    That sux, Wiser……

  90. My fam has a history of heart disease. I just think it’s because we’re unrestrained in our appreciation of tasty comestibles.

  91. 817.637.2645 – name’s Debbie, and she’s a schoolteacher. Don’t think she can afford your class of cat, dude…..

  92. Cardiac arrest is actually fairly survivable.

    If you get zapped by a portable defib in the first minute or two.

  93. The things your brain retains 5 years after sitting in the Cardiac ICU – and yet, I still manage to lose my car keys and my reading glasses on a semi-regular basis……

    I am a well-known fount of useless information!

  94. HAPPY BIRFDAY, ROAMY!!!!!

    http://tinyurl.com/m5xxwo

  95. MAKE HIM STAY AWAY FROM THE WEBCAM!!1!1!

    Look, just because you all have “respectable” jobs doesn’t give you the right to impugn what I have to do to make a living…

  96. I do believe Roamy is losing weight and hasn’t told us.

    Whu…whu..WHAAAAT???!?!?!

    Someone here might be on a diet and we aren’t hearing about it each and every day??? How am that possible???

  97. Wiser, if you drop suddenly and croak, can I have your stereo?

    And your wife?

  98. “Hello, – your neighbor from down the street posted your number on a blog and said you lost your Siamese.. Have I got a deal for you!”

  99. Wiser, if you drop suddenly and croak, can I have your stereo?

    And your wife?

    I guess I didn’t realize wiser’s wife looks like a sheep.

  100. >> How am that possible???

    heh.

  101. Wiser, if you drop suddenly and croak, can I have your stereo?

    And your wife?

    Stereo is all yours. I’ll even throw in the 8-track player.

    Wife, on the other hand, goes to Dave.

    Sorry, but he asked first.

  102. Hahah – Alan Grayson Hates Children, Hates Seniors, Loves Satan:

    http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=knvS8zKfx2E

    Posted at HQ, but it’s Townhall’s crappy video player. YouTube works much better.

  103. That’s fine, Wiser.

    Just tell me Michael doesn’t get Wiserdaughter.

  104. Happy birthday Roamy! 29?

  105. Just tell me Michael doesn’t get Wiserdaughter.

    She goes to Jewstin.

  106. Completely OT: I’m so tired of hearing that misleading “Half of all marriages end in divorce” statement! If it’s repeated enough, pretty soon people start to believe it (I’ve heard it twice already today).

    Yes, there may well be 1/2 as many divorces in any given year as there are marriages; however, the number of divorces in any given year has to be measured against ALL intact marriages at any given p0int in time to give an accurate statistic.

    Lord save us from social scientists and journalists who never had to take more than a basic math class in their collegiate career…..

  107. Pelosi bids adieu to her colleagues for the last time. Lifted the whole thing:

    Twenty minutes after midnight, the gavel hit and the House adjourned. Democrats, quietly, began to stream out of the chamber. I hung by the door, back against a column, taking it all in. The words on every Democrat’s lips: “Good luck.” Rep. Mary Jo Kilroy, facing a tough reelection battle in Ohio, was the recipient of numerous hugs, cheek kisses, and well wishes from her colleagues. So was Rep. Kathy Dahlkemper, facing the same in Pennsylvania. The conversations, however brief, sounded heavy, almost elegiac. For a few minutes, House Speaker Nancy Pelosi mingled a foot away, her fire-engine red suit at the center of a swirl of Democrats hustling into the night. Pelosi smiled her usual grin — immobile and broad — and wished fellow Democrats the best. Some stopped to chat, but many just rushed past, uninterested in small talk. Rep. Tom Perriello, a vulnerable freshman Democrat from Virginia, was one who skipped by, but Pelosi called him back, inviting him to join her circle of allies by the elevator. Their talk was short: He tried to sound upbeat about his chances. Pelosi, of course, smiled.

    After a couple minutes, Perriello, along with other nervous Democrats, left Pelosi’s side and stepped out onto the Capitol steps, descending down under the shadow of the dome. As they ducked into the black of night, rain poured onto their jackets and ties, and the wind whistled around the Hill. No word on whether this storm will cease.

  108. Half of all marriages that end in divorce are Elizabeth Taylor’s.

  109. “Half of all marriages end in divorce”

    The other half end in ..

    *cue organ music …

    DEATH!!!

  110. Lord save us from social scientists and journalists lying sack-of-scat Democrats who never had to take more than a basic math class in their collegiate career….

    FTFY, Tif.

  111. That was it?? That was our big scary Death-Rain?

    I really believe the weathermen are doing this to boost grocery store sales.

  112. We actually got a tiny, tiny bit of rain here today. Not enough to wet the sidewalk, but hey, it was rain!

  113. When weathermen don’t predict the weather correctly, it is because of global warming. Or possibly Bush. Or because they are racists.

  114. That was it?? That was our big scary Death-Rain?

    Oh, it’s not over yet…….

    Death-Rain II: Death Always Knocks Twice is just around the corner…..

    BWAAAAAAAAAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAAAAAAA!!!!!!!

  115. So, Tony Curtis kicked the bucket.

    Too bad.

  116. >> Wife, on the other hand, goes to Dave.

    yeah, I gots dibs.

  117. So, Tony Curtis kicked the bucket.

    I said a prayer of thanks for Jamie Lee’s boobs.

  118. Poor Wiserbride.

    It’s like … out of the frying pan, into the panhandle.

  119. I hope you and Wiserbride will be very happy together, Dave.

    http://on.vh1.com/dbeMlY

  120. Good news for Roamy and Peelio, the Continuing Resolution did in fact pass.

  121. STORM OF THE CENTURY!!!!

    It has been raining steadily since 7 o’clock last night.

    Women and minorities affected most.

  122. Oh, crud – anyone driving up to the Meat-up this weekend from south of DFW needs to allow extra time for the commute.

    It’s Texas-OU weekend……

  123. It has been raining steadily since 7 o’clock last night.
    ——————–
    Prolly gonna need one of these, Chief.
    http://is.gd/fCEqW

  124. MJ – No need to leave the Hobbit Hole. I’ve got Earl Gray tea and fresh bread.

  125. It’s actually cool enough to sit outside here.

    First time since about April.

  126. Are you in phase 2? Can you eat certain types of bread in Phase 2?

  127. I hope you and Wiserbride will be very happy together, Dave.

    Look at that cute little green-eyed monster.

  128. MJ – A little whole wheat or rye. I bake my own.

  129. So, Tony Curtis kicked the bucket.

    And who’s fault do you think that is, huh?

    Do not mock DeathRain™!

  130. DeathRain™ – 1

    TAGNASH – 0

  131. TAGNASH WOULD LIKE TO INQUIRE WITH MR. DEATH RAIN ABOUT A POSSIBLE COLLABORATIVE EFFORT.

  132. Anyone notice how much Jamie Lee Curtis resembles Car in? (Except for the bewbs, of course)

  133. HAH! DeathRain does not need help from weak, powerless cathead.

    I AM DEATHRAIN™

  134. Picking up the free mountain bike today. I am thinking of putting 800 into it to upgrade a few parts to have a damn good ride, or stripping it of parts to upgrade my hard tail to be an epic race monster.

    If I strip it I can sell the front shocks and frame to fix my commuter bike and sock some money away for a future full suspension 29er.

  135. oh no you didn’t

  136. “Anyone notice how much Jamie Lee Curtis resembles Car in? (Except for the bewbs, of course)”

    Is Jamie Lee Curtis really dual equipped per long standing rumors … anyone know for sure?

  137. MCPO,
    That’s just damn good music.

  138. I didn’t pay $800 for my first TWO cars.

  139. Clint,
    I need to replace the rear shock, and that may get pricey.

    It’s worth it.

  140. oh no you didn’t

    Actually, I did. Got a problem with that, Humpy?

  141. It’s a 3000 bike new, the rear shock is blown out and may be hard to replace. My hard tail is nearly race worthy and after I transfer some components, may just be at that level.

    My wife claims I am building a bicycle graveyard in our garage. I said, “It’s my only hobby” then she pointed to all my skis and camping gear.

  142. I didn’t pay $800 for my first TWO cars.

    I didn’t pay $800 for my first THREE cars, and I’m younger than you. I almost could have bought a fourth with the money left over from the first three, too.

  143. >> I hope you and Wiserbride will be very happy together, Dave.

    You know Wiser, I’m pullin for you to make it through.

    Stay healthy. So I can.

  144. Bikes can get expensive. I got a friend into racing around 1980 and his training bikes were well over $3000 each. This guy built his frames, about $800 each. http://www.sandsmachine.com/bp_sachs.htm

  145. *DeathRain snickers at cathead

  146. Good night, folks. I’m coming down with a bug, so I’m going home to bed. Have a great night!

  147. “My hard tail is nearly race worthy”

    Truer words were never spoken here.

    Happy Birthday, Roamy!
    http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=1flVlL4Mf8k

  148. Happy B-day!

    http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Rzu5UK6fVm8

  149. I never cared one way or another for Tony Curtis. I’m to young to have seen any of his shit. But God bless him, he done good while here on earth. http://is.gd/fCP5f

  150. Somebody hold Roamy down and I’ll spank her.

  151. Well, the bike is way better than I thought. It’s closer to a 3500 bike with top of the line components. The only thing that would make it better is a carbon frame.
    I have decided to spend 300 (less is needed) to get it going, then give my hard tail to my son so he can ride a better bike.

    I is excited!

  152. PG, I and friends/colleagues of mine were around Tony Curtis numerous times on golf course in Vegas. The encounter never happened where he didn’t brag about his female conquests.

  153. I like the cut of this man’s jib:

    http://weaselzippers.us/2010/09/30/interesting-911-hard-hat-pledge-founder-calls-on-nyc-to-investigate-missing-gzm-construction-permits/

  154. Regarding the header. She needs lightning bolts coming out of her fingers and “Avada Kedavra!”

  155. Roamy! How much weight have you lost friend girl?

  156. Thank you for all the nice birthday wishes. It was a strange day at work, now time to pack up for Texas.

  157. Clintbird, not enough.

  158. Regardless, Roamy, it shows in th pictures that were posted today.

  159. Did Catman post them in the Meat Locker?

  160. No, up in this thread somewhere.

  161. @ 12:15 Roamy.

  162. A granny after my own heart….
    http://mypetjawa.mu.nu/archives/204156.php

  163. I think I added them without breaking the password protection.

  164. Comment by xbradtc on September 30, 2010 1:16 pm
    HAPPY BIRFDAY, ROAMY!!!!!

    http://tinyurl.com/m5xxwo

    I don’t know if I’m the monkey or the puppy. I know what my brothers would say.

  165. Woo Hoo! A local grocery store is having an anniversary special.
    Boneless sirloin $2.99 lb
    lobster $4.99 lb.

    We are gonna be living large for a while.

  166. Hey, I need a volunteer for tomorrow’s BBF. I was going to do it, but now, due to events beyond my control, I cannot.

    Any takers? (If you are not an official Hostage, now is your chance to become one.)

  167. “tomorrow’s BBF”

    Big balls Friday?

  168. Is Jamie Lee Curtis really dual equipped per long standing rumors … anyone know for sure?

    I don’t think anyone does except her mom and dad but when I was in CA a lot of girls claimed first hand knowledge but the stories never quite matched. Personally I doubt it.

  169. did i kill the thread?

  170. http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=6iAygsv2MD0&feature=related

    Movie trailer on the original, and ultimate extreme sport…..The Downhill.

    I can’t wait to get settled in and sample some of that deep deep Canadian snow. I plan on making frequent trips to interior BC with da kids. Powder skis in the back of the SUV, stone cold sober gazes scanning the mountains for lines.

    Fucking can’t wait.

  171. new poat


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